All language subtitles for Suits 8x04 - Revenue Per Square Foot

Previously, on "Suits..."

I thought it might be nice
to get out there

and get to know each other.
- I think what you really mean

is you'd like to impress
the new managing partner.

- And what if I did?
- You wanna impress me?

Do it with a big, fat client.
- Zane promised Samantha

she'd be the next Name Partner.
- And did you tell him

that you made the same promise
to Alex?

- No, I didn't.
- You wanna take me on,

you go for it,
'cause I didn't get where I am

by letting people like you
push me around.

David Fox wants a fight
and I'm gonna give him one.

- A fight about what?
- He doesn't want to pay

our cleaning woman overtime.
- Harvey,

this isn't what we do.
- Mike would have done it.

And Mike's not here anymore
because he finally

came to terms with the fact
that this isn't what we do.

I'm not gonna let us
start losing clients

because you decided
the cleaning staff

is more important
than the needs of this firm.

I didn't do anything
that you didn't sign off on.

That's enough.
You don't go to war

with the guy
that owns your house

over something like this.

End it, and end it today.

I wanna make
a perfect baby with you.

- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

And I don't want
to just pull the goalie.

I want to start trying,

and I want
to start trying right now.

From everything you told me,
you promised Samantha

her name would go up next?
- I did.

- I made Alex the same promise.
- Then I guess

there's only one thing to do.

Kick the can down the road.
- I know you think

we're in competition
for the same thing,

but we're not.

Robert Zane made me a promise.

The next name that goes up
on the wall is mine.

Bunny rabbit goes
around the tree once...

bunny rabbit goes
around the tree twice...

And I say bunny rabbit,
bunny rabbit, wanna play nice?

- Sheila, what are you doing?
- I'm hunting "wabbits."

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

Not Fudd.

You know I can't resist
Elmer Fudd.

- Why would you want to?
- Oh, my God, Shelia,

I cannot right now.
- Why not?

Because I have
a client meeting,

and it's not just me.
Zane's coming too.

So whatever you had in mind,
it's going to have to wait.

All right.

I didn't want
to have to do this, but...

I'm fertile...

and I am ripe for the picking.

So I don't care whether
you have a meeting or not.

I'm going to need
your Johnny Appleseed.

Sheila, you know
if there's one thing

that revs me up more
than Elmer Fudd

it's American folk heroes.
- Then I think it's time

for Paul Bunyan to march
across that forest

and take out his axe.
- Oh, I'm gonna

do more than that.

- You wouldn't.
- I would, because it's time

for John Henry
to swing the mighty hammer.

Did you know?

- Know what?
- That Zane promised Samantha

she was the next Name Partner.

Alex, let's go back up
to my office.

Sounds like
you could use a drink.

What I could use
is some God damn honesty.

Did you know?

- Yeah, I knew.
- Then why the hell

didn't you tell me?
- Because no one's

deciding anything right now
and I didn't want to upset you

for no reason.
- No reason?

Zane promised his right hand--
- I know what he promised.

But look, you got me
and you got Louis.

That's two against one.

When the time is right,
we'll out-vote him.

And when exactly
is the time going to be right?

Six months? A year?
Three years?

- Alex--
- No, Harvey, I want to know

when you're planning
on getting the balls

to stand up to that man
and what exactly

I'm supposed to do
in the meantime.

I'll tell you
what you're supposed to do.

You're supposed to have faith
and sit tight.

And if you were
in my position,

would you sit tight?

It may not be easy
but, yeah, I would.

That's funny,
because I recall you were in

a similar position years ago
with Jessica, and instead

of sitting tight,
you came to me

looking for another job.

- Robert, how's Wayne?
- I'll tell you how he is.

He's getting sued,
and he wants to know

why his lawyer's not here.
- All right,

just hold down the fort
for ten more minutes,

I'm almost there.
- I didn't ask you

when you'd get here, Louis
I asked you where you were.

- That's, uh, kind of personal.
- Well, I feel kind of bad

about that, Louis,
but I've been standing here

with nothing but my dick
in my hand

for the last 30 minutes.
- All right, well,

if you wanna know, Sheila and I
are trying to have a baby

and she's not getting
any younger,

and we're just trying
to take advantage

of any opportunity we can.
- Why didn't you say so?

Just get here
as fast as you can.

Like I said,
I'll see you in ten.

- Hey, buddy.
- Yeah?

You know where a Rite Aid is
around here?

No, I'm sorry, I'm actually
not from around here--

I don't give a shit
where you live.

Do what I say
and you won't get shot.

You feel me?
- Yeah, I feel you,

I feel you, I feel you.
- Good, let's walk.

Get on the ground, and don't
you fucking look at me.

- Okay, okay.
- Wallet and phone.

Where's the phone?
- There's $1,000 in there,

is that--is that not enough?

You think
we're negotiating, here?

No, no, no, it's just that
there--there's pictures

on my phone
that I haven't backed up.

I don't give a shit!

Here's my phone.

Stay down.

Don't even move.

? Suits 8x04 ?
Revenue per square foot
Original Air Date on August 8, 2

? See the money,
wanna stay for your meal ?

? Get another piece of pie
for your wife ?

? Everybody wanna know
how it feel ?

? Everybody wanna see
what it's like ?

? I'll even eat a bean pie,
I don't mind ?

? Me and Missy is so busy,
busy making money ?

? All right ?

? All step back,
I'm 'bout to dance ?

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

? The greenback boogie ?

Shit...

Louis, aren't you supposed
to be out with Robert Zane?

I swear,
if you cancelled that dinner

because they ran out
of paprika like last time I--

Oh, my God.
What happened, Louis?

- Nothing.
- Nothing?

You look like you've been hit
by a car.

A guy took my wallet
and my phone.

I didn't know what to do,
so I--I came here.

All right, I'm calling Sheila
and then Robert and--

You're not calling anyone,
Gretchen.

I don't want Robert to know.

You have to tell him
what happened.

I can't.

- Why not?
- Because he's

my new managing partner
and I do not want him

to know that I am weak.
- Louis, you are not weak.

It could have happened
to anybody.

it could have happened to him.
- Yeah, but it didn't.

It happened to me,
and that's why

I don't want to tell him.
- Well, what are you gonna do?

'Cause he's gonna wanna know
why you didn't show up

to that meeting.
- I'm going to let him--

think what he already thinks.

That Sheila and I were trying
to have a child,

it took longer
than we thought--

- Louis.
- Gretchen, I'm done

talking about this.

Can you just please let me be?

Okay, Louis,
I won't tell anybody.

I'm not going anywhere
until we patch you up.

If you're not careful,
the bagel guy's

going to figure out
you're cheating on him.

- Who says this isn't a bagel?
- Same person who says

you've got the sense of humor
of a five-year-old.

I am so going to pull
your pigtails at recess.

Okay, do you want
to keep going, or can I ask you

a serious question?

- You want the truth?
- No.

I want to talk to you
about doing more pro bonos.

- Donna.
- Harvey, listen to me.

That cleaning woman's case
was good for you,

and even though
Mike's not here,

I think we should
keep doing them.

Donna, I might be missing
Mike, but I'm not Mike,

and I have a meeting
in an hour.

But if you want to take on
a pro Bono, knock yourself out.

You know what, I do,
and if you don't want it,

I'm just going to go ask Alex.
- Not Alex.

He's not in the mood.
- Why not?

He found out about Zane
promising Samantha

Name Partner last night.
- What did you say to him?

What do you think I said?
I told him to sit tight.

Did you sit tight when you
were in the same position?

- That's what he said.
- Then if you don't want him

doing what you did,
which is go looking

for another job,
then I suggest you do something

that makes him want to stay.

Now, I'm going to go
ask Katrina

if she wants to do a pro Bono.

I don't care what it takes.

You get him in front
of that judge,

I'll get him off the hook.

Good.

Whatever you're cooking,
I need you to bump

this class action
to the front of the line.

- Class action?
- Yeah, why?

You got a problem with that?
- No problem,

but litigation
isn't my specialty

and you know it,
so what's going on?

What's going on is,
this was

Louis Litt's case
and now it's yours.

And how does Louis Litt
feel about that?

I don't give a shit
about how he feels.

Well, I do.

I just got on good footing
around here,

I'm not looking to undo it.
Now I got to get to--

Hold on, now.
You are my go-to.

Don't start playing
office politics on me.

Robert, I played
office politics for you

for years, in case you forgot.
- I didn't, but the man pulled

a no-show to a meeting
with his own client

and I need to send a message,
so are you in or out?

Okay, Robert.
I'm in.

I'm sure whatever it is
is very important, Harvey,

but I'm a little busy
right now.

Alex, you were right.

If I were in your shoes,
sitting tight wouldn't fly

with me either.

I thought about it,
and I got an idea.

Well, if it isn't you
and Louis telling Zane

my number's up next, I'm not
sure I'm going to like it.

What it is
is you doing something

to put you on the map
with Zane.

- Paxson BioScience.
- They're big, they're juicy,

and we got a meeting with them
in a half an hour.

- We?
- Yeah, we.

Then forget it,
because if I don't

sign them alone,
Robert's not going to care.

Alex, I'm doing the best
I can right now.

They're expecting me.
I don't show up,

it's not going to look right.
- You've got an answer

for everything, don't you?
- Let's just go down there

and lock these guys down.

After that, you have my word.
You're the attorney of record.

All right, Harvey.
Let's go lock them down.

Carrie, Harvey Specter.

This is my partner,
Alex Williams.

I'm sorry, I was thinking
it was just going to be

the two of us.
- It's okay.

Anything you can say
in front of me,

you can say to Alex.

In that case...

CrytoGen.

They're worth 80 million,
but they're sitting

on billions of undeveloped IP.

I've been trying to buy them
for two years.

Let me guess, you've used

every tactic in the book
to force them to sell.

Now you're looking
to try some

that aren't
in the book.

Let's just say
that of the 15 companies

that specialize
in financing that industry,

14 have suddenly
found themselves out

of the CrytoGen business.

And isn't it
the strangest coincidence

that the 15th just so happens
to be one of our clients?

The Lord works
in mysterious ways.

Just to be clear,
are you asking us

to pressure one of our clients

into cutting off
this company's lifeline?

Because that would be
against the law.

I'm not asking you
to do anything.

But were that to happen,

you'd suddenly find yourself
with a huge new client.

I'd say that sounds
pretty interesting.

And I say bullshit.
It's not going happen.

Well it better,
because that's what it's

going to take
to get our business.

Alex, why don't we listen to
what she has to say--

No, Harvey, I'm not looking
to cross the line

for these guys, and I
don't care if they tell me

they'll guarantee a year's
retainer in advance.

And what if I told you

that retainer would match
your highest-billing client?

Look, I think it's a mistake,
but if we're going do this,

we need to know
what we're getting involved in.

He's right.
You want us to risk this,

we need to knew every source
of funding you choked off

from these guys,
and every other shady thing

you've done,
because like he said,

I need to know exactly

what I'm getting myself
involved in.

Then we'll have everything
over to you

by the end of the day.

- Robert, got a sec?
- No, Louis, I don't.

Look, I know I said
that I'd be a little late--

But instead you decided
to tap your girlfriend

instead of doing
your God damn job.

Robert, I told you,
we're trying to have children.

You also told me you were
on your way to the meeting,

and I don't appreciate
being lied to.

Okay, listen to me.

I know I didn't show up,
but it doesn't matter

because whatever their issue is
I can handle it.

You don't have to handle it
because I already did.

What is that
supposed to mean?

It means that
as of this morning,

Samantha Wheeler
is handling the matter,

so you have plenty of time
for your family planning.

I am Name Partner.
This is one of

my oldest clients.
You cannot do this to me.

I didn't do this to you.

You did it to yourself
when you hung me out to dry.

Robert, please.

You don't know
the whole story.

I know all I need to know.

Now get out of my office
and don't ever lie to me again.

Gretchen I need you to the
file room right away and make

every document we have on
McKinley Outfitters disappear.

Can't do that, Louis.
I got instructions to send them

over to Samantha Wheeler's
office an hour ago.

What?
How could you do that to me?

Because Robert Zane
stood here

and gave me
an order himself.

What choice did I have?
- God damn it.

Louis, I didn't tell the man
what happened

because I promised I wouldn't,
but he's punishing you

for something you don't deserve
to be punished for,

so why don't you just tell him?
- I'm not going to look weak.

Well, having him take
your client because you don't

have the courage
to tell him the truth

doesn't exactly
make you look strong.

Well, then I need
to take my client back.

How the hell
are you going to do that?

Easy.
She's a transactional woman.

I'll just tell her
I owe her one.

And you ask her
to go against Zane?

You might as well ask her
to set herself on fire.

Well, maybe if you'd
God damn help me

instead of telling me
how weak I am,

maybe we could
figure something out.

Louis, I am trying
to help you.

And if you can't see that,
then something's wrong.

Gretchen, please.
You're the only one who knows

that I had
my dignity taken last night.

I can't have it taken again.

All right, Louis.

I help you with this,
I need to know

that you're going to be able
to keep it together.

All I need
is to take my client back.

That's all I need.
- Okay.

As I see it,
you want McKinley back?

You need to put that woman
in a position

where she doesn't
have any choice.

Sounds to me
like the good folks

at Paxson BioScience have been
some busy little beavers.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I sure am.
If they're willing to do

all this shady shit
because CrytoGen

has billions
in future revenue--

Why don't we skip
the shady shit

and go represent
CrytoGen right now?

Exactly.
And we got the road map

to keeping them out of trouble
on its way.

Alex, you are
one devious mother----er.

Thanks, I'll take that
as a compliment.

In that case, you're a
real asshole of a guy, too.

Seriously, Harvey.

We're using information
they gave us

in the context of a meeting.

That's a little shady itself.

You sure you're okay with it?
- I am.

Besides,
what are they gonna do?

Tell the police they asked us
to rob a bank

and by the time they got there,
we moved all the money?

Then the only thing left
to do is close CrytoGen.

- All right, I'll set it up.
- No.

You needed to be
at that last meeting.

You don't need
to be at this one.

- Alex--
- Harvey, let's not forget

why you came to me with this.

Let me bring this one home.

All right.
They're all yours.

- You wanted to see me?
- I did.

Well, I'm glad you did,
because I heard

that you gave one
of Louis's clients to Samantha

and I don't want to tell you
how to run the firm, Robert,

but I think that's a bad idea.

Well, that's not exactly
what I wanted to talk about,

but I think
it's a good platform.

- I don't follow.
- You may not want to tell me

how to do my job,
but I'm going to tell you

how to do yours.
- Excuse me?

Did you assign
Katrina Bennett

a pro Bono
without running it by me?

I didn't know that I needed
to run it by you.

You do when that client
happens to conflict

with someone
I'm trying to sign.

- I didn't know they did.
- Which is why

you run it by me.

And was is more important
is what is a COO

of a law firm doing
handing out pro bonos

in the first place?

I just thought
that it was good--

It's a rhetorical question,
Donna.

I don't care what you thought.
- Understood.

Is that all?
- No, it's not.

What a COO should be doing

is maximizing our revenue
per square foot,

which starts by an assessment
of our revenue per square foot.

Well, that's not really
what I do.

It is now.
I want a report on my desk

by end of day tomorrow.

Does this have anything
to do with Louis?

Because I don't think--
- It has to do

with Louis lying to me,
and Harvey getting into it

with the landlord, and now you,
which all adds up

to this law firm not operating
the way that it should

and me getting
a little tired of it.

Now, that's all.

Ah, Samantha.
You look nice this evening.

Oh, don't give me that shit.
You want to tell me

why you set a motion to dismiss
on a case for tomorrow

that I just got
three hours ago?

I was just doing you a favor.

But if you want to cancel it,
you go right ahead.

It's your case.
- What do you mean a favor?

I mean, we have two weeks
to get this suit thrown out

but the faster we file it,

the more serious
they know we are.

And of course now that you've
said it, if I delay it,

I look like I'm unprepared.
- Which you are,

because you haven't
been their attorney

for the last 13 years
like I have.

I get it.

And if I tell Robert
what you did, I look weak.

But if you let me help you,
we both look strong.

Why didn't you
just come to me,

and ask me to be
let in on this?

Because we both know
that you would have said no.

I have to admit,
if I didn't know any better

I'd say you're a real badass.

Well, if you think
I'm a badass now,

you just wait until we get
that lead plaintiff

in front of the judge tomorrow.

- Hey.
- Don't "hey" me.

Did you sign them?
- Sure did, but get this.

These guys aren't exactly
Little Red Riding Hood

running away
from the Big Bad Wolf.

- What are you talking about?
- Our first assignment,

after we send
that cease and desist to Paxson

is to trick their best employee
into a lifetime of servitude.

Don't tell me you're pulling
a Mike Ross and having

second thoughts on me.
- I'm just saying,

there aren't any saints
in this situation.

But you know what, brother?

That's why we make
the big bucks.

Well then,
pour us a couple of drinks,

and I'll fax the cease
and desist order right away.

You're not faxing shit.

Do you really think
that you can

take a meeting with a
prospective client,

try to screw them over, and
they wouldn't catch wind of it?

I don't care if they
caught wind of it.

There's nothing that they
can do about it.

Bullshit, they can let
every major player know

that we don't deal
with our clients in good faith.

But they have the decency
to give us a chance

to make it right
before they do,

and you're going to take it.

If you're saying
what I think you're saying--

I'm saying
drop the small potato,

and sign Paxson like you said
you would in the first place.

You want to talk bad faith?
We went in there

and they all but asked us
to commit a crime.

Then don't sign them.
But what you don't do

is go using the information
that you got from them

to sign a guy that they
were going after.

And the last time I checked,
I can sign

whoever the hell
I want to sign.

Harvey, I cut you some slack
on that landlord thing.

But I'm running this firm,
not you.

You're going to do
what I tell you to do.

You going to tell me
what suit to wear, too?

Listen to me.

Tomorrow morning, I come in,
Paxson's our client.

And I'm done discussing
this topic.

Harvey,
maybe it isn't worth it.

Relax, he'll calm down
once he realizes

that small potato
is not so small.

Are you crazy?
This is about chain of command.

And the only reason
we signed those guys

in the first place
was to impress him.

And you were the one
who wanted me

to have the balls
to stand up to him.

Well, I don't give a shit
what the chain of command is.

There's no way
I'm backing down now.

Harvey, I told you, it's
not like these guys are saints.

What they're having me
do to this guy--

Alex, that's enough.

I'm not interested
in you second guessing me,

and I'm sure as shit
not interested

in you doing it
on Zane's behalf.

So you want to have a drink

and celebrate
signing a new client or not?

Robert,
what are you doing here?

I'm here because
it's tomorrow morning,

and you didn't sign Paxson yet.

Look, Robert,

as far as I'm concerned,
this is between you and Harvey.

Well, I'm making it
between you and me.

What are you saying?

I'm saying you're
a smart guy,

and we both know what
your endgame is at this firm.

If you want that game
to be a reality,

you do what I need you to do.

- Are you threatening my job?
- I'm telling you how it is.

You dealt with that client
in bad faith,

and I'm doing you a courtesy by
dealing with you in good faith.

- It sure doesn't feel like it.
- I didn't say I was giving you

kid gloves, I said I was
playing you straight.

The truth is I like you,
always have.

But if you don't get yourself
on the right of this thing,

you're never going to go
further than you are right now.

- Robert--
- Drop them.

I don't want to hear another
goddamn thing about it.

Okay, what's our plan?

Okay, listen up.
They don't know it,

but we're going to file
for a change of venue

in addition
to our motion to dismiss.

I don't understand.
Changing the venue to Omaha

doesn't help us.
The laws are harsher there.

Doesn't matter,
because the jury won't be.

What do you mean?

This lawsuit
wasn't just filed

by a random bunch
of disgruntled backpackers.

It was orchestrated.
- By who?

Our biggest competitor.

And it just so happens Omaha
used to be their headquarters.

Which is now a ghost town.
We go after them in Omaha,

they're going to get
their asses kicked.

And they'll have no grounds
to fight the change of venue,

because on the face of it,
it's against our interests.

- Exactly.
- Louis, this is genius.

Yeah, I know.
But like I said,

you think I'm a genius now,
you just wait.

Because by the end of today,
they're going to be paying us.

All rise.

Oh, shit, I have an emergency
with my oldest client.

You sure you got this?
- Oh, I got this.

I just feel bad for you because

you're not going to
get to see it.

Hm.

All right.

We're here for a motion
to dismiss.

Mr. Litt,
do you have your paperwork?

Your Honor, I'm sorry,
but due to recent information

coming to light,
we need to alter our motion

to change of venue.
- What?

They have--they have
no basis for that.

We believe we do, Your Honor.
Which is why we'd like to call

their lead plaintiff
to the stand.

- Mind if I cut in?
- That depends, is it urgent?

To tell you the truth, it is.

Zane already thinks
I overstep my bounds.

The last thing I need
is for him to think

that I can't hand in
my homework on time, too.

Well, if that's
what he thinks about you,

you can have the copier,

and Robert Zane
can go fuck himself.

Hey.
Everything okay?

- Never been better.
- Alex.

I'm really
not in the mood, Donna.

Yeah, I can see that,
and I don't care.

What's going on?
- All right, you want to know?

First thing this morning,
Zane tells me

unless I sign Paxson, my name's
never going up on that wall.

What?
Have you told Harvey

about this?
- What good would it do?

Harvey's the one who put me in
this goddamn situation.

Wait, hang on a second,
I thought you were

on board
with going after CrytoGen.

I don't give a shit
what I was on board with.

When Zane didn't want to do it,
I was ready to back off.

- Then back off.
- And I do that,

I might as well kiss my chances
at Name Partner good-bye,

Alex, I don't think you're
giving Harvey enough credit.

He said, and I quote:

"I'm sure as shit
not interested

in you second guessing me
on Robert Zane's behalf."

- Good.
- What do you mean, good?

I mean you're in a
Kobayashi Maru.

What the hell does sushi
have to do with this?

It's not sushi,
it's from "Star Trek,"

and Harvey's been talking
about it for a hundred years.

I always thought it was
bullshit, but maybe it's not.

- What do you mean?
- I mean, sooner or later,

everyone finds themselves
walled into a no-win situation.

This one's yours,
and the way to prove yourself

to both Harvey and Zane
is to find a way out anyway.

Well, thanks, Donna.

And here I thought
going to Harvard

was the way to get ahead,
when really,

I should have just been
watching old "Star Trek"s.

Well, I didn't,
so unless the answer

is in an episode
of "Cagney and Lacey"--

You know what, Alex?
I'm trying to help you.

And I told you,
I'm not in the goddamn mood.

Okay, then let me
put it another way.

Unless you think you can
get your name on the wall

someplace else,
I suggest you stop worrying

about the problem, and start
worrying about the solution.

Because if you can't find a way

to get yourself
out of this situation,

maybe you don't deserve to be
Name Partner after all.

So, Mr. Larson, when did you
decide to file this lawsuit?

About a week
after I found out

hackers stole my information.

So you were upset, and then,
you contacted a lawyer.

Actually, my attorney
reached out to me.

Oh, wasn't that convenient?

Your Honor, soliciting
clients isn't a crime,

and it's not relevant
to change of venue.

But isn't it?
Mr. Larson, when your lawyer

approached you, what was the
fee that you were quoted?

Ten percent,
contingent on winning.

And are you aware
that the normal fee

for this type of case is
three times that?

I'm not one
to say no to a bargain.

You mean the bargain where
my client's biggest competitor

was paying your lawyers
on the side?

- What?
- Objection, speculative.

It won't be
when he answers the question.

Your Honor,
where is this going?

I'll tell you
where it's going, Your Honor.

It's going to
conspiracy charges

because he approached him

to put my client
out of business.

I didn't--

I don't--
- Answer the question.

I didn't ask how my lawyer
makes his ends meet,

because I'm focused on mine.
- Let's focus on yours.

Because if I find out
that you knew they were driving

this lawsuit,
and you lied about it,

oh, I'm going to come
for your house.

And then, I'm going to come
for your pension--

- Objection.
- And your daughter's

piggy bank.
- Badgering.

I'm not doing anything
a federal prosecutor won't do

if he doesn't tell the truth.
- Yes, you are.

You are pointing a gun
at my client's head,

and I'm pretty damn sure
you wouldn't like it

if I pointed a gun at yours.

Mr. Litt?

Mr. Litt?

Lay down and shut up.

And this time,
you don't give me your wallet

and give me your phone,
and keep your mouth shut,

I won't just kick you.

I'll pull this trigger,

and you'll never see anyone
you care about ever again.

Mr. Litt, for the last time,
do you have anything further?

Motions to dismiss and
change of venue are denied.

You and I need to talk,
and we need to talk right now.

No, we don't.

And if you know what's good
for you, you'll get out.

I'm not going anywhere
until you explain to me

how one minute, you're ready to
book one-way tickets to Omaha,

and the next minute,
I find out we've all but lost.

You weren't there.
You don't know what happened.

I know that.
That's what I'm doing here.

- And I told you to get out.
- And I told you

I'm not going anywhere until
you tell me what happened.

Listen to me.
I did the best I could,

and I do not want to
talk about this anymore.

The best you could?

You're not some
first-year associate.

You're a goddamn Name Partner

who bullied his way
on to my case.

And the next thing I know,
you've laid down like a dog,

let yourself get kicked--
- You weren't there!

You weren't there.

You don't know
the shit I went through.

You never will.

Now back the hell off,

and get the hell
out of my office.

Louis, relax.
I was just trying to--

Get the hell out!

Harvey, can I talk to you
for a second?

Sure, what's on your mind?

I just got a call
from Holly Cromwell.

Don't tell me,
she's got another firm

wanting to recruit you, and
you're looking to leverage us.

- Harvey, this is serious.
- What is it?

She told me that
Alex Williams called her up,

looking to see what he
could get in the marketplace.

- Bullshit.
- It's not bullshit.

He wants to know
what the odds are

of him getting his name
on the wall somewhere else.

I don't believe it.
How could he do this to me?

Maybe instead of thinking
about how he could do this,

you might want to
think about why.

- I don't care why.
- Well, you should.

Because you made it personal
between you and Zane,

and Alex became nothing
but an afterthought.

How do you even know
about any of this?

Because before he talked
to Holly, he talked to me.

Which is why I know
that Zane went to Alex

this morning and told him
if he didn't sign Paxson,

he'd never make Name Partner
here at all.

Where is he?

Harvey, if you confront Zane,

it's just going to
make things worse.

I don't care.
I am not going to let him

bully my guy into submission.

Hang up the phone
right the hell now.

Don't walk into my office
and tell me that.

So I can't walk in here,
but you can walk into

my guy's office
and threaten his career?

I didn't threaten his career.
I just told him like it was.

- That's not your call.
- Bullshit, it's not.

I gave you an order, and if
you're not going to follow it,

I'm going to the next man down.

And if he doesn't listen to me,
he's never getting my vote.

So he's got to listen to you,

but he doesn't
have to listen to me?

What the hell do you think
Managing Partner means?

Well, if this
is what it means,

then maybe I made a bad call

in being gracious
and letting you have it.

You weren't being gracious.
You were recognizing reality.

Which is that I'm better
at this than you.

And what you're better at

is doing whatever you feel like
doing at any goddamn minute.

Well, what I feel
like saying right now is,

Alex is my guy.

He does what I say,
and that's final.

Well, that's too bad,
because I didn't do

what either one of you said,

and it's too late
to take it back.

I don't believe this.

Are you saying
you took another job?

No, I'm saying I got someone
else to take another job.

What the hell
are you talking about?

CrytoGen wanted me
to trick their biggest asset

into a lifetime of servitude.

Instead, I informed him of
his right to go out on his own

and signed him
as our newest client.

Are you out of your mind?
I told you to sign Paxson.

And the reason
you gave both of us

was that you didn't want us
dealing with them in bad faith.

Well, now we didn't.

All we did was take a meeting
and not sign them.

And you still
didn't do what I asked.

And you didn't do
what I asked, either.

You're right, I didn't.
Because if all you want

is a yes man, then what
the hell am I doing here?

- You listen to me.
- No, you listen to me.

I signed a client
that's going to be worth

a huge amount to this firm.

I'm a hell of a goddamn lawyer,
and if you can't see that,

then I don't want to have
my name next to yours.

- Alex--
- No, I said what I had to say.

As far as I'm concerned, you
two need to work your shit out.

I don't know about you,

but I kind of like the guy
when he's angry.

Yeah, you would,
because that's the same flavor

of bullshit
that you served Jessica.

What now?

I need to talk to you
about your partner.

- You mean Robert?
- I mean Louis Litt.

- What about him?
- Something's wrong with him.

And before you tell me
I don't know him,

I'm telling you,
this isn't normal behavior.

Even for a man
with his reputation.

- How can you know that?
- How about I start by saying

he stood up his own clients
at a meeting with Robert Zane?

And then somehow
shit the bed in court

on a case he had in the bank.

And I'm not even
going to get into

how he treated me when
I tried to ask him about it.

Does anyone else
know about any of this?

Judging by the look I saw
on his secretary's face,

I'd say she does.

I'd also say she's not
going to tell me a thing.

Why are you telling me
about this, and not Robert?

Because I may be new here,

but I know what friendship
looks like.

And right now, I'm telling you.
Louis Litt needs a friend.

- Harvey.
- Louis.

You got any plans tonight?

I was thinking we could
go out for dinner.

Oh, that's not
going to work for me.

I have to get home to Sheila.
- Oh, come on.

We've got some stuff
to catch up on.

- What stuff?
- From what I hear,

you've had a rough couple days.

It's all good, Harvey.
Nothing to worry about.

All good?
Come on.

I ask you to dinner
once in a blue moon,

and whenever I do,
you drop everything.

I used to,
but I have Sheila now,

so if you'll excuse me.

You're not leaving
until I get an answer.

Don't hide behind Sheila.

- Get the hell off me!
- What's going on, Louis?

- Nothing.
- You can talk to me.

- About what, there's nothing--
- Why'd you roll over in court?

Why'd you no-show at dinner?
- Please stop.

Why do you need me
to stop, Louis?

What are you so scared of?
- God damn it, I was mugged.

I was mugged, and I thought
I was going to die, okay?

He had a gun...

that he had pressed
to the back of my head.

I can still feel it.

Is that what you want to hear?
Because that's what's going on.

It's okay, buddy.
You're okay.

But it's not okay, Harvey.
It's not, I'm a mess.

I'd be a mess, too.
Anyone would.

- What if it doesn't go away?
- It will.

I don't know
how long it will take,

or when it'll happen,
but I know one thing.

It won't go away
if you don't talk about it,

and I don't just mean therapy.
- Harvey--

Look, you have people here
who care about you.

Don't hide it from them.
- I'm not telling Robert.

- Why not?
- Because you're my friend,

and he's my boss,
and he just got here,

and I cannot
have him see me as weak.

He won't think you're weak.

He'll think you're strong
for telling him.

But I won't be strong.
I'm going to turn into this.

Look at me, Harvey.
Look at me.

I can't have him
see me like this.

Why don't I tell him for you?

We've got some things
to work out between us anyway.

Thank you, Harvey.
That would be nice.

- What is it, Donna?
- Robert, I have your report.

But before you read it,
I need to tell you

what I told you before.

This isn't really what I do.

- Why bring it to me at all?
- Because you asked for it.

And more importantly, what I do
is what you need right now.

So let me get this straight.

You're going to come in here
with a half-assed

excuse for a report,
and then tell me what I need?

Yeah, I am,
because while you wanted me

to be spending my time
on something you could have

hired an accounting firm for,
I was busy working my ass off

maximizing revenue per square
foot the old fashioned way.

By keeping this place together.
- What are you talking about?

I'm just saying that between
picking a fight with Harvey,

taking a client away
from Louis,

and whatever else
you've been up to,

you didn't notice that
one of your star attorneys

was thinking about leaving.

And now, thanks to me,
he's going to stay.

You're talking about Alex?

Yes, of course
I'm talking about Alex.

Then Donna, I appreciate
what you did.

But if he left, he left.
So be it.

Because if I'm
going to lead this firm,

people need to
follow my orders.

Maybe the problem isn't
with the orders, Robert,

Maybe it's with the man
who's giving them.

You may not want to hear this,
but I'm going to say it anyway.

You think that the reason
Rand and Kaldor turned on you

is because you had
a soft spot for us.

I think it's because you didn't
have a soft spot for them.

And if you treat us
the way you treated them,

the same thing's
going to happen here.

I can't just let everyone
do what they want.

It's not in me.

I'm just saying, sometimes
we need to be smacked in line,

and sometimes,
you need to let us do

what we do the way we do it.

I'm going to farm out
this revenue per square foot

to an accounting firm.

Thanks, Robert.

What?

I knew you did this
whisperer shit with Harvey,

but I didn't think
you'd ever do it to me.

I'm going to let you in
on a little secret, Zane.

I do it to everybody.

Alex, you got a second?

That depends
on what you're here to say.

I'm here to say I'm sorry.

I put you in a position
that I shouldn't have,

but I also want to say

you didn't have to talk
to that headhunter.

- Yeah, Harvey, I did.
- Why?

You want to know the truth?

I had to know what kind
of leverage I had.

And it turns out,
there wasn't anybody willing

to put my name on the wall
any faster than you.

Which is what left me open
to hear Donna's bullshit.

What do you mean
Donna's bullshit?

It's really your bullshit.
She said I was in

a no-win situation, and I
could bitch and moan about it,

or I could
get out of it myself.

- Kobayashi Maru.
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, you got
yourself out pretty damn well,

and I'm not the only one
who thinks so.

Zane was pretty impressed, too.

Then I guess
I got the job done.

And maybe I should have watched
a little "Star Trek"

growing up after all.
- What?

How could you
never watch "Star Trek?"

Because it's a stupid show
with shitty effects.

You realize I love
that show, right?

I don't care
how you feel about it.

It's a stupid show
with shitty effects.

You know what, Alex?
You may be a hell of a lawyer,

but if you can't appreciate
the original "Star Trek,"

you're nothing,
because Captain Kirk

is the best television
character ever created.

I've got two words for you,
mother----er.

Magnum, P.I.

Those are fighting words.
You know that, right?

They're not fighting words,
Harvey, they're drinking words.

So sit on down,
and let's hash this out

like two people who can both
appreciate "M-A-S-H."

Sounds good to me.

- Robert.
- Before you say anything,

let me just say that
I'm sorry for what happened,

and I'm more sorry
for how I treated you.

I appreciate that, Robert.

But this was my fault,
not yours.

Louis, this is not
your fault.

And I want you to know
you could have come to me.

I just felt so powerless.

Of course you did.
You were a victim.

But that doesn't mean
you have to feel like one.

How can I not feel like one?

Louis, I'm going to tell you
something nobody knows.

I grew up in a rough place
with rough people.

Don't tell me that you know
what it's like to get mugged?

No, what I'm trying to tell
you is I know what it's like

to be on the other end of it.
- What?

I was 14 years old.

My friends were all I knew,
and I loved them.

But they were messed up.

And one night,
they get it in their heads

that they're going
to roll somebody,

and I got caught up in it.

The guy fought back.
We had no choice.

We beat him good,
put him in the hospital.

- Jesus.
- I know.

And I only did it once,

and it's haunted me
my whole life.

It still does.

Are you saying that
I should feel sorry

for the man who mugged me?

No, no, no,
I'm not saying that, Louis.

I'm saying that someday,

he's going to have to face up
to who he is,

and he'll carry that shame
for a lifetime.

But you don't have to,
because this doesn't have

a single thing to do
with who you are.

You hearing me?
- I'm hearing you.

Good, and Louis,
we are a family here.

So from now on,
I want you to remember

you can share things
with your family.

- Okay.
- I mean, for God's sake.

You didn't think twice
about telling me

you were tapping your woman.
- That's a fair point.

Uh, okay.
Good man.

You heading home
for the night?

- I was, why?
- I just wanted to let you know

I talked to Alex,
and that it's all good.

- That's great, Harvey.
- There's just one thing.

It turns out that he
didn't call Holly Cromwell.

She called him.
- So?

So, if she called him,
why would she then call you

and say he called her?
- I guess she wouldn't.

I guess I must have called her,
and told her to call him.

- Mind if I ask why?
- Because, Harvey.

Sometimes people just
need to know where they stand.

And what if he'd been able
to leverage himself

into Name Partner
somewhere else?

Then you and Robert Zane
would learn

that if you can't
figure your shit out,

the only people who are
going to get hurt are you.

Samantha,
what are you doing here?

I want to talk to you.

Look, if this
is about earlier--

It is about earlier,
but not how you think.

I came here to tell you
that the same thing

that happened to you
happened to me.

- Robert told you, didn't he?
- He did.

And when it happened,
he was there for me.

So now, I'm going
to be there for you.

I'm sorry, what do you mean
he was there for you?

That's not important.
What is important

is you're going to start
learning self-defense.

And you're going to start
right now.

I really appreciate
you coming by, okay?

But I'm going to go inside.

Tell me the truth.

When you saw me standing there,
and you couldn't make out

whether it was me or not,
you were scared, right?

I don't want to learn
self-defense.

Do me a favor.
Try to hit me.

- I'm not going to hit you.
- Try to hit me.

Okay.

Ready?
Boop.

That's pretty crazy, right--
- Would you just

try to hit me?
- All right, fine.

All right, mother--

Oh, my God.

You could kill someone,
couldn't you?

Probably, but the point is,
they couldn't kill me.

Now, get up, it's time
for your first lesson.

First things first, you got to
be aware of your surroundings,

and you got to learn
how to stand.

Okay.

Show me.
- Okay.

You want to
stabilize your core,

so one foot
slightly behind the other,

about hip-width apart.

See how it stabilizes?
- The core.

- Yeah.
- Okay, so how many calories

have I burned just now?

Three.

Just because
you're talking so much.

- Right, okay.
- Yeah.

All right.
- Uh--

Now smack me.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man