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1
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:12,320
Yeah, baby.
2
00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,670
Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous.
3
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:40,430
l may just be a small-town
FBI agent-slash-single mother...
4
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,510
...but I'm still tough and sexy.
5
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:48,690
Well, Miss Normous, shall we shag now...
6
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,100
...or shag later?
7
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,360
Oh, Austin, behave.
8
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,160
Hey, Powers.
9
00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:02,160
You better watch your frigging self...
10
00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:06,750
...because this is one doctor
who does make house calls.
11
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,960
Right, Mini Me?
12
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:14,380
Hey, assholes.
13
00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:20,890
I'm right over here. I'm Mini Me.
Come and get me.
14
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,060
And cut.
15
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,060
That's a cut, everybody.
16
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,270
Moving on. Check the gate, please.
17
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,070
So, Austin, what'd you think
of the opening credits?
18
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,410
Well, l can't believe
Sir Steven Spielberg...
19
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,910
...the grooviest filmmaker
in the history of cinema...
20
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,080
...is making a movie about my life.
21
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:50,620
Very shagadelic, baby. Yeah.
22
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,920
Having said that,
l do have some thoughts.
23
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,590
Really?
24
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,510
Uh, my friend here
thinks it's fine the way it is.
25
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,680
Well, no offense, Sir Stevie...
26
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:07,680
...but you've got to have mojo, baby.
Yeah.
27
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,430
Hit it.
28
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,510
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Quincy Jones.
29
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,680
Yeah.
30
00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:33,390
This is where the movie
gets its mojo, baby.
31
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,770
Groovy, yes.
32
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,330
Quiet, everybody.
Music video, take two.
33
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,160
It's Britney Spears.
34
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:49,890
Oops, l did it again, baby. Yeah.
35
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,270
l love you!
36
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,790
Yeah.
37
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:37,770
Welcome back, Herr Doctor.
How was space?
38
00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:40,770
Space was cool. Wasn't it, Mini Me?
39
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,560
-Mm-hm.
-Yeah.
40
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,730
Dr. Evil, while you were in space...
41
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:48,490
...I created a way for us to make
huge sums of legitimate money...
42
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:52,240
...and still maintain the ethics
and the business practices...
43
00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:54,240
...of an evil organization.
44
00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:58,830
l have turned us into a talent agency:
The Hollywood Talent Agency.
45
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000
-Really?
-By charging A-list clients 9 percent...
46
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:05,590
...rather than the traditional 10 percent,
we've been able to sign such stars...
47
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,300
-...as George Clooney...
-Ooh.
48
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:09,170
...Julia Roberts...
-Hey.
49
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:10,930
...and Leo DiCaprio.
50
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,430
Leo.
51
00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:17,350
And the best part of the whole scheme
is we all get our own assistants.
52
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,350
Hi, I'm Number Three.
53
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,310
Whoa!
54
00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:24,610
I’m really excited to be part of the team
here at HTA.
55
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,440
Very impressive, Number Two...
56
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,530
...but I finally have the perfect plan.
57
00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:34,320
In the '70s, there lived
a Dutch metallurgical hedonist...
58
00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:35,990
...by the name of Johann van der Smut.
59
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:38,540
He loved gold so much...
60
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:42,000
...he even lost his genitalia
in an unfortunate smelting accident.
61
00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:44,080
Hence the name...
62
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,630
...Goldmember.
63
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,960
He invented a cold-fusion power unit...
64
00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:52,050
...for a "tractor beam"--
65
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,800
"Tractor beam"...
66
00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:57,350
...powerful enough
to pull a meteor to Earth.
67
00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:58,970
The meteor was called...
68
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,890
..."Midas 22."
69
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,060
It’s made of solid gold.
70
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,690
Is he sleeping?
71
00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,570
Well, that's okay.
72
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:09,280
l guess Mini Me won't get any...
73
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,110
...chocolate!
74
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,240
You want down, Mini Me?
Use your words like a big boy clone.
75
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,660
He's okay.
76
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:24,920
Here's the chocolate.
77
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,250
It’s from Bruges. That's in Belgium.
78
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,630
That's where Daddy's from. Yeah.
79
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,760
Check out Mini Me.
80
00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:40,600
Yeah. He's gone mental
on account of the chocolate.
81
00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:43,430
It’s like fricking catnip for clones.
82
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,810
-Your chair, Dr. Evil.
-Thank you.
83
00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:48,610
Whoa!
84
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,950
Thanks. Skedaddle. Right.
85
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,700
You know, when you have kids...
86
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,660
...I think you're gonna find
that all kids are different, eh?
87
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,470
For example, Mini Me loves chocolate.
88
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:15,970
Scotty don't.
89
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,300
-What, l like chocolate fine, l just--
-Scotty don't.
90
00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:21,640
Well, this is very familiar. Hang on,
let me do what l do. "Uh, would you stop?"
91
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,480
How about I what?
92
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,390
What are you...?
93
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,310
l don't even-- Honestly, isn't this--?
94
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,020
How about you don't?
Ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't.
95
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:36,740
Ahem. Dr. Evil, perhaps it's time
that you finished unveiling your plan.
96
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:40,320
Yes, thank you, Number Two.
Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is--
97
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:43,240
-Scotty don't.
-Come on. You're such a lame-ass.
98
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,670
Oh.
-Oh.
99
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:52,380
-Oh.
-Oh.
100
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,630
Yeah.
-Oh, this is...
101
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,090
Yeah, yeah.
-Oh, so we're...
102
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:59,430
You know, this is causing me
serious psychological harm.
103
00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:01,350
l don't know. Who am l?
104
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:03,640
Fine. You know what?
l would love some chocolate.
105
00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:04,970
Here you go.
106
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,810
Thank you. Perfect.
107
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,610
Heel, Mini Me.
108
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:16,360
Heel.
109
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:19,280
Come on. Got me a marlin. Yeah.
110
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,370
-You okay, Mini Me?
-Mm-hm.
111
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,120
Yeah? Did l pull too hard?
l don't want to hurt you.
112
00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,120
-Dr. Evil.
-Yeah?
113
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,040
What does Goldmember's plan
have to do with us?
114
00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:34,800
Our early attempts at a tractor beam
went through several preparations.
115
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:39,050
Preparations A through G were a failure.
But now, ladies and gentlemen...
116
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:43,760
...we finally have a working tractor beam
which we shall call:
117
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,560
"Preparation H."
118
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:49,520
What?
119
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,730
Why don't you just call it
"Operation Ass Cream," you ass.
120
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:55,520
I’m sorry, did you want some ice cream?
121
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:58,900
Yes. I'd love some chocolate ass cream.
122
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,360
Perhaps later.
123
00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:05,030
-Dr. Evil, l love your plan.
-Yeah, eh?
124
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,040
Ja, Herr Doctor, it's a really good plan.
125
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,500
Yes, Frau, on the whole,
l think Preparation H feels good.
126
00:12:13,670 --> 00:12:16,630
-What is it now?
-No, nothing. You know what, I agree.
127
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,010
Preparation H does feel good on the hole.
128
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:24,800
Well, I’m glad we're sprechen Sie
the same lingitty, ja.
129
00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:26,220
Ladies and gentlemen...
130
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:30,770
...using my time machine,
l shall travel back to 1975...
131
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,850
...pick up Goldmember
and bring him back to the future.
132
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,110
And the best part of this plan is...
133
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,440
...no one can stop me.
134
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,450
Not even...
135
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:43,990
...Austin Powers.
136
00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:57,130
Not so fast.
137
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,210
You're surrounded, Dr. Evil.
138
00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:02,550
Shit.
139
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:08,810
Dr. Evil, the World Court
sentences you to 400 years.
140
00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:10,470
Do you have anything to say?
141
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:14,190
No, but l think Mini Me does.
142
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:19,610
Order! l will have order!
143
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,570
Looks like two eggs in a hanky.
144
00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,530
The criminal genius known as Dr. Evil
and his clone...
145
00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:31,040
...were sentenced today
at the World Organization.
146
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,330
For his efforts, Austin Powers...
147
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,540
...son of England's most famous spy,
Nigel Powers...
148
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:39,170
...will be knighted by the queen
at Buckingham Palace.
149
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,340
Arise, Sir Austin Powers.
150
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,970
Thank you, Your Majesty.
151
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:51,350
-Your father must be very proud of you.
-Oh, yeah.
152
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,850
Come on, Dad, stand up and take a bow.
153
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,480
Daddy?
154
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,740
Dad?
155
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,510
Daddy
156
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:28,220
Daddy wasn't there
157
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,220
Daddy
158
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,440
Daddy wasn't there
159
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,900
To take me to the fair
160
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:44,860
It seems he doesn't care
161
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,740
Daddy wasn't there
162
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:53,200
When I was first baptized
When I was criticized
163
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,540
When I was ostracized
When I was Jazzercised
164
00:14:55,710 --> 00:14:58,040
Steak and kidney pies
One-hour Martinize
165
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,880
When I was circumcised
166
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,250
Daddy wasn't there
167
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,380
To take me to the fair
168
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,880
To change my underwear
169
00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,220
Daddy wasn't there
170
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,180
"Daddy Wasn't There." Peace.
171
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,600
l am a sexy beast.
172
00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:17,770
Yes.
173
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,230
Bangs. Yes, how’s it going?
174
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,110
The robot. Haven't seen that in a while.
175
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:29,400
It’s Austin Powers! You so funny.
-Well, you know.
176
00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:32,990
Also, very sexiful. Can l have autograph?
177
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,580
Of course. Your name is...?
178
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,290
Fook Mi.
179
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,380
Oh, behave, baby. Yes.
180
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,960
-Now, your name is...?
-Fook Mi.
181
00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:45,800
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
182
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:50,220
Fook Mi. Like this.
183
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:52,180
Oh, l see!
184
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,640
Your name is Fook Mi.
185
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,970
-You want drink?
-Yes, of course.
186
00:15:57,140 --> 00:16:00,850
You know, l have a private bar in the back
that you're more than welcome to use--
187
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,730
Here you go.
188
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,110
Fook Mi, that was fast.
189
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,320
Fook Yu.
190
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,650
You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom...
191
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:11,110
...and l don't care who knows it.
192
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:12,860
Austin.
193
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:18,120
This is my twin sister. Her name Fook Yu.
194
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:19,790
Fook Yu.
195
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,460
Fook Mi.
196
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:22,670
See?
197
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:24,500
Twins. Twins.
198
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:30,880
Twins. Yes.
199
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,680
We're going to see the twins. Yes.
200
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,980
l also think Austin Powers very sexiful.
201
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,520
We think you are very gravy, baby.
202
00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:44,560
Do we make you sleepy?
203
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,520
Well, you make me many things,
but sleepy's not one of them.
204
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,900
We give you top-secret massage.
205
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:55,410
Yes, top-secret massage, baby.
206
00:16:58,450 --> 00:16:59,750
Sorry about that.
207
00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:02,500
l swear to God that never happens,
heh-heh-heh.
208
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:04,540
Yes, hold on a tic.
209
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,340
Okay....
210
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:13,550
Okay. Now, where were we, babies? Yes.
211
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,100
Ah, Austin. I’m sorry to interrupt.
212
00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,390
Twins, Basil. Twins.
213
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,020
Austin, it's your father.
214
00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:26,230
-Bye-bye.
-What?
215
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,070
-Bye.
-He's been kidnapped.
216
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,400
Very heavy, man.
217
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:36,700
Oh. So that's why my father
wasn't at the knighting ceremony.
218
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,280
Well, no, actually.
219
00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:41,240
He was kidnapped
after you were knighted.
220
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:42,620
Ah.
221
00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,750
He was last seen on his yacht.
222
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,420
Ah, yes, the HMS Shag-at-Sea.
223
00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,670
Exactly. Just take a look.
224
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,000
Gentlemen, fall in.
225
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,010
Austin, these men were assigned
to guard your father.
226
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:57,550
Okay, chaps. Chins up, trousers down.
227
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,510
l think we may have found a clue.
228
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:06,060
Cor blimey. All your privates
have had their privates painted gold.
229
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,690
How bizarre.
230
00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:09,860
Imagine, gilded tallywhackers...
231
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,150
...golden wedding tackle,
14-karat trouser snakes--
232
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,110
-That's enough.
-Okay.
233
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,910
Basil, there's only one person
in the world...
234
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:22,160
...who truly understands
the psychology of a madman.
235
00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:25,120
Dr. Evil.
236
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,900
I've been expecting you, Mr. Powers.
237
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:51,820
My father is missing.
238
00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:54,650
Yes, I heard. How ironic.
239
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:58,740
You finally caught me,
yet now you need me more than ever.
240
00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:02,580
But then again, you've always needed me,
haven't you, Mr. Powers?
241
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:06,410
Remember when I told you
we're not so different, you and I?
242
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,920
We're not so different, you and l.
243
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,750
See? l did say that. Mm-hm.
244
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,760
Very clever. Now, who has my father?
245
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,170
Uh-oh!
246
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,800
Someone has some daddy issues.
247
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,930
Nothing could be my father from the truth.
248
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,350
Ooh! You said, "my father."
249
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,680
-No, l dadn't.
-Hey-oh!
250
00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:28,100
Didn't. Did not.
251
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,350
She-ba.
252
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,940
-For me, this is a dad issue.
-Ha--
253
00:19:32,110 --> 00:19:33,190
Dead issue. Dead dad.
254
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,110
Deadbeat dad. Daddy didn't love me.
255
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:41,410
It seems the knighting ceremony
wasn't the only time...
256
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:44,700
...your daddy let you down.
257
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,080
Remember that day at the academy?
258
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,920
Think.
259
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,460
It was graduation.
260
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:04,760
Yeah, baby, yeah.
Do l make you horny, baby?
261
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,560
Oh, yes, that's the spot. Right there.
262
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,100
You're a naughty one. Yes, you are.
263
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,350
Hello, vicar. Crake!
264
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,520
Have you ever heard of knocking, man?
265
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:16,480
Right.
266
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,240
We were just getting started.
267
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,110
Bye, love.
268
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,160
Don't forget, Master Powers,
later you have a brief oral exam.
269
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:27,450
Well, l hope it's mostly oral and not too...
270
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,790
...brief, baby.
271
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,420
You know, "brief" and "oral exam"....
272
00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,670
Marks are in, lads.
273
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,340
It looks Like Master Evil
is the top contender...
274
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:46,100
...for this year's
International Man of Mystery.
275
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,680
He's number one in the class.
276
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,770
Whoop-de-do, Basil.
277
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:52,850
Hey, everybody, I'm number one.
278
00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,190
Who cares?
279
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,690
Hello, I’m Number Two.
280
00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:58,610
Nice to meet you, Number Two...
281
00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:03,110
...but now I’m going to be named
this year's International Man of Mystery.
282
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,610
Yeah, right.
283
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,000
Shut your gob.
284
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:14,370
Ow!
285
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,300
Who throws a cupcake? Honestly.
286
00:21:21,590 --> 00:21:24,970
And now it's time to award
our greatest honor.
287
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:29,060
This year's International
Man of Mystery is...
288
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,770
...Austin Powers.
289
00:21:32,270 --> 00:21:34,560
Well done, Austin.
290
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,860
Jolly good.
-Top notch.
291
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:44,740
We're proud of you.
-Very well done, indeed.
292
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:50,990
It’s always been my dream
to win this award, just like my dad.
293
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,160
And I’m glad he could be here.
294
00:21:53,330 --> 00:21:55,620
Stand up, Dad. Take a bow.
295
00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:03,340
Dad?
296
00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:07,510
Daddy?
297
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,230
Boo-frickity-hoo.
298
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,030
l had the best grades in the class
and I didn't get diddlysquat.
299
00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:25,610
-Here we go.
-Tell me, Mr. Powers...
300
00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:27,530
...what did you find on those sailors?
301
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:32,200
A golden surprise, perhaps?
302
00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:35,370
How did--? Yes.
303
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:39,540
All the sailors had their
meat and two veg painted gold.
304
00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:43,130
Yes, it's the distinctive calling card
of a criminal mastermind.
305
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,420
The aptly named...
306
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,970
...Goldmember.
307
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,140
How can I find this Goldmember?
308
00:22:54,730 --> 00:22:56,730
Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers.
309
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,400
Yes, squid pro row.
310
00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:05,900
I'll give you Goldmember, you give me
a transfer to a regular prison...
311
00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:09,660
...so that l could be with
my beloved Mini Me.
312
00:23:09,870 --> 00:23:13,120
Okay, I'll get you a transfer
to a regular prison.
313
00:23:13,290 --> 00:23:14,660
Now, where's Goldmember?
314
00:23:14,830 --> 00:23:17,080
Not where, Mr. Powers...
315
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,670
...but when.
316
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:23,590
1975. Studio 69 Disco. New York City.
Corner of 69th and 8th.
317
00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:26,170
You go now, Mr. Powers.
318
00:23:26,380 --> 00:23:28,550
Fly, fly.
319
00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:37,810
I’ll get it.
320
00:23:44,730 --> 00:23:48,190
Instead of hiding your father
in some remote location...
321
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,950
...Goldmember is hiding him in 1975.
322
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:54,410
So our engineers
have crafted this vehicle...
323
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:56,750
...to time-travel to the '70s.
324
00:23:56,910 --> 00:24:00,460
Smashing, Basil. A pimpmobile.
325
00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:03,630
Oh, yes, yes.
l knew it would tickle your fancy.
326
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:05,920
What can l say? Look.
327
00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:07,130
Cough.
328
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,720
Here we go, 1975.
329
00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:12,970
Good luck, Austin.
330
00:24:13,140 --> 00:24:14,970
1975!
331
00:24:15,140 --> 00:24:17,470
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
332
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,020
Solid Gold
333
00:25:02,850 --> 00:25:05,150
Solid Gold
334
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,690
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
335
00:25:08,860 --> 00:25:11,570
It's solid gold, baby
336
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,330
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
337
00:25:17,490 --> 00:25:20,500
It's solid gold, baby
338
00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:22,290
Yeah
339
00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:24,540
He's got the Midas touch
340
00:25:24,710 --> 00:25:26,330
But he touched it too much
341
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:30,880
Hey, Goldmember
342
00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,880
He's got a golden pad
343
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,970
He's super bad
344
00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:39,560
Hey, Goldmember
345
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,890
Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to Studio 69.
346
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:45,900
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen.
347
00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:49,440
It’s Goldmember!
348
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,950
Hey, everybody, I am from Holland.
349
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,710
Isn't that weird? Yes. Ha, ha.
350
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:07,330
He's got the Midas touch
351
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,380
But he touched it too much
352
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:11,590
Hey, Goldmember
-Yeah
353
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,760
Hey, Goldmember
354
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,590
You're getting' down tonight
355
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,760
Ow!
-You're dynamite
356
00:26:17,930 --> 00:26:19,260
Hey, Goldmember
357
00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:22,350
-Goldmember
-Hey, Goldmember
358
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,600
'Cause that's the way, uh-huh
Uh-huh
359
00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:26,770
He likes it, uh-huh
Uh-huh
360
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,940
Goldmember
-Goldmember
361
00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:31,190
He loves it
-He loves it
362
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,360
'Cause that's the way, uh-huh
-Uh-huh
363
00:26:33,530 --> 00:26:35,280
-He likes it, uh-huh
-Uh-huh
364
00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:37,490
Goldmember
-Goldmember
365
00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:39,490
He loves it
-He loves it
366
00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:41,700
He's got the Midas touch
367
00:26:41,870 --> 00:26:43,950
He touched it too much
368
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,790
Hey, Goldmember
369
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,960
Hey, Goldmember
-Goldmember
370
00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:50,790
He's from the Netherlands
371
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,130
-It's where he learned to dance
-Hey, Goldmember
372
00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:55,170
-Gold, Goldmember
-Hey, Goldmember
373
00:26:55,340 --> 00:26:57,300
Hey, Goldmember
374
00:26:57,470 --> 00:27:00,180
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
375
00:27:00,390 --> 00:27:03,390
It's solid gold, baby
376
00:27:03,810 --> 00:27:06,810
Goldmember's so solid
-It's gold, it's gold, it's gold
377
00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:08,900
It's gold, it's gold, it's gold
378
00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:12,320
-It's gold
-It's solid gold, baby
379
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,820
His member's so gold
380
00:27:14,990 --> 00:27:17,490
Yes, it is, yeah
381
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,790
Well, if it isn't Austin Powers.
382
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,000
I’m sorry?
383
00:27:29,170 --> 00:27:32,420
You got a lot of nerve dragging
your jive white ass in here.
384
00:27:32,590 --> 00:27:35,000
l don't believe we've met.
385
00:27:35,670 --> 00:27:37,630
It’s me. Foxxy!
386
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,130
Foxxy Cleopatra!
387
00:27:39,550 --> 00:27:41,180
Long time, no see.
388
00:27:41,350 --> 00:27:43,680
-Oh.
-Stop!
389
00:27:43,850 --> 00:27:46,020
We can't be seen talking to each other,
you dig?
390
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:48,600
I’m using this cat as a distraction.
391
00:27:48,770 --> 00:27:50,350
l get it. Yes, very clever.
392
00:27:51,230 --> 00:27:52,690
First things first.
393
00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:55,690
Ow! Ouch-kabibble!
394
00:27:55,860 --> 00:27:59,700
Eight years and no phone call?
Nobody stands up Foxxy Cleopatra!
395
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,200
Where have you been?
396
00:28:01,370 --> 00:28:03,410
Listen, Foxxy.
397
00:28:03,580 --> 00:28:06,790
l just want you to know
l never intended to hurt you, baby.
398
00:28:07,410 --> 00:28:09,710
Well, all I know is...
399
00:28:09,870 --> 00:28:12,420
...Mama only got a taste of honey...
400
00:28:12,580 --> 00:28:15,300
...but she wanted the whole beehive.
401
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,550
Oh, beehive.
402
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,880
Yes, "beehive."
403
00:28:21,050 --> 00:28:23,300
You always knew how to make me smile.
404
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:26,390
Well, you know, it's a gift, really. l, um--
405
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,890
Ugh, what am I doing?
406
00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:31,060
Foxxy, what are you doing
in Goldmember's club?
407
00:28:32,060 --> 00:28:33,230
I’m undercover.
408
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,070
About a year ago,
my partner at the bureau was killed.
409
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,740
And that jive-ass turkey Goldmember
is the prime suspect.
410
00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,240
Ow!
411
00:28:43,070 --> 00:28:45,530
Your father's in the back room,
under heavy guard.
412
00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:48,540
-Thanks, Foxxy.
-Austin! Good luck.
413
00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:06,260
Oh!
414
00:29:06,430 --> 00:29:08,260
-Dad!
-Hello, son.
415
00:29:08,430 --> 00:29:11,060
Just overpowering my guards. Heh, heh.
416
00:29:11,230 --> 00:29:13,600
I’m here to rescue you. Come quickly.
417
00:29:13,770 --> 00:29:16,480
I’ve got a better idea.
Why don't you rescue me in about...
418
00:29:16,650 --> 00:29:18,940
...what, seven or eight minutes, eh?
Ha, ha.
419
00:29:19,110 --> 00:29:22,780
Oh, knock it off.
l don't want to see my dad on the job.
420
00:29:22,950 --> 00:29:23,950
Come on, let's go.
421
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,780
Okay. I’m sorry. I'm sorry, girls.
-No.
422
00:29:26,950 --> 00:29:29,450
I’ve got to go, it's my boy. Hold on.
423
00:29:31,620 --> 00:29:34,000
-What's wrong with your neck?
-l took a Viagra.
424
00:29:34,170 --> 00:29:36,540
It got stuck in my throat.
I’ve had a stiff neck for hours.
425
00:29:36,710 --> 00:29:37,960
l thank you.
426
00:29:39,510 --> 00:29:42,010
Listen, Dad, if you are gonna
talk about naughty things...
427
00:29:42,170 --> 00:29:43,840
...in front of these American girls...
428
00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,090
...then at least speak "English" English.
429
00:29:47,050 --> 00:29:48,680
All right, my son.
430
00:29:48,850 --> 00:29:51,470
l could've had it away
with this cracking Judy, my old china.
431
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,480
Are you telling pork pies
and a bag of tripe?
432
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,310
Because if you are feeling quiggly,
why not just have a J. Arthur?
433
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,560
-What, Billy No-Mates?
-Too right, youth.
434
00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:01,280
Don't you remember the din-din
with the grotty Scottish bint?
435
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,440
Oh, the one that was all
sixes and sevens?
436
00:30:03,610 --> 00:30:07,070
The trouble and strife of the Morris dancer
that lived up the apples and pears.
437
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,870
Yes, yes, she was the barrister
that became a bobby in a lorry...
438
00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:13,910
...with a Gatling gun
in and above St. Regis...
439
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,210
...tea kettle.
440
00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:16,580
Yes.
-Then she...
441
00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:19,000
Shat on a turtle.
442
00:30:19,170 --> 00:30:23,010
-Oh, God, we had some good times, eh?
-We had some good times, eh?
443
00:30:23,170 --> 00:30:25,630
-Wonderful times, we had.
-Good times, yeah.
444
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,100
We had some good, uh...
445
00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:31,470
...times.
446
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,850
Welcome to 1975...
447
00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:36,440
...Austin Powers and father.
448
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,360
Excuse me while l change.
The roller boogie has made me sweaty.
449
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,020
Yeah, sweaty.
450
00:30:42,190 --> 00:30:43,820
You see, Mr. Powers...
451
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,580
...I love gold.
452
00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:52,700
The look of it, the taste of it...
453
00:30:52,870 --> 00:30:55,620
...the smell of it, the texture.
454
00:30:55,790 --> 00:30:57,500
l love gold so much...
455
00:30:57,670 --> 00:31:01,960
...that I even lost my genitalia
in an unfortunate smelting accident.
456
00:31:02,630 --> 00:31:04,550
Hence the name...
457
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,630
...Goldmember.
458
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,560
We are both swingers, you see? Ha, ha.
459
00:31:17,730 --> 00:31:20,230
You have a tight body. Yes.
460
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,230
l see that from your tight pants.
461
00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:26,030
Yes, you are tight like a tiger.
462
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,360
Would you like a smoke and a pancake?
463
00:31:28,530 --> 00:31:31,410
-A what?
-A smoke and a pancake.
464
00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:34,740
You know, flapjack and a cigarette?
Hmm?
465
00:31:34,910 --> 00:31:36,910
All right. Cigar and a waffle?
466
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,250
No? Pipe and a crepe?
467
00:31:39,420 --> 00:31:42,080
No? Bong and a blintz?
-No.
468
00:31:42,250 --> 00:31:45,210
Ah, well. Then there is no pleasing you.
469
00:31:45,380 --> 00:31:47,090
That's not right.
470
00:31:47,260 --> 00:31:50,130
Ooh, hello. What have we here?
471
00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:51,800
That's a keeper. Yes.
472
00:31:51,970 --> 00:31:54,600
Put it in the skin box, please.
With the others.
473
00:31:54,770 --> 00:31:58,100
-I’m peeling.
-Oh, that’s just disgusting.
474
00:31:58,270 --> 00:31:59,940
Quickly. Quickly. Thank you.
475
00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:01,270
Save me from myself.
476
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,560
You're insane, Goldmember.
477
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,780
And that's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh, l like it.
478
00:32:07,950 --> 00:32:10,280
KC and the Sunshine Band.
479
00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:13,740
All right, Goldmember,
don't play the laughing boy.
480
00:32:13,910 --> 00:32:16,950
There are only two things
l can't stand in this world:
481
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:21,330
People who are intolerant
of other people's cultures...
482
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:23,630
...and the Dutch.
-What?
483
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,970
Take the father away.
484
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:35,560
Dutch-hater. And now, ha, ha,
it is time to say goodbye.
485
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,810
Dr. Evil's orders.
486
00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:41,310
Which for you is bad news, bears.
487
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,560
Walter Matthau.
488
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:43,980
Shazam.
489
00:32:44,820 --> 00:32:46,690
Up yours, jive turkey.
490
00:32:46,860 --> 00:32:48,650
-Traitor.
-Ugh!
491
00:32:48,820 --> 00:32:51,110
Heh-heh-heh. Yes, the gun.
Good, very good.
492
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,820
2002.
493
00:32:54,070 --> 00:32:56,490
They're taking my father
to the time machine.
494
00:32:56,660 --> 00:32:59,540
The say-what machine?
-Come on, now. Ha, ha.
495
00:32:59,710 --> 00:33:01,250
No!
-This way, sugar.
496
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,720
That was close, Foxxy. l owe you one.
497
00:33:13,890 --> 00:33:17,970
Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office.
It’s a microfilm. It may be a clue.
498
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:20,810
-Smashing.
-l want to go to the future with you.
499
00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:24,020
We can catch Goldmember together.
l owe it to my partner.
500
00:33:24,190 --> 00:33:27,150
l should warn you, Foxxy,
2002 is very different.
501
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,190
Well, heh, the future
better get ready for me.
502
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:34,610
Because I’m Foxxy Cleopatra
and I'm a whole lot of woman.
503
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,370
2002, here we come.
504
00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:50,800
All visitations limited to five minutes.
505
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,220
No spitting in the visitors' room.
506
00:33:57,220 --> 00:33:58,720
Herr Doctor...
507
00:33:58,890 --> 00:34:00,560
...I have some news.
508
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,350
-It’s your son.
-Oh.
509
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,390
He wants to take over
the family business.
510
00:34:05,150 --> 00:34:06,900
Scotty does?
511
00:34:07,060 --> 00:34:10,110
Oh, he’s gotten so evil,
he has even started losing his hair.
512
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,690
l know, it's sweet.
513
00:34:11,860 --> 00:34:14,900
Oh, he just wants to make you proud,
Herr Doctor.
514
00:34:15,070 --> 00:34:17,450
After all, it’s hard on the boy
not having a father.
515
00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:21,740
You know, first you were frozen,
then you were in space, now you're in jail.
516
00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:24,540
Well, don't tell me he feels neglected.
517
00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:27,540
l was adopted by fricking Belgians, eh?
518
00:34:27,710 --> 00:34:29,090
You were adopted?
519
00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:31,800
l never met my birth parents.
520
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,260
There was a car accident.
521
00:34:34,510 --> 00:34:37,340
I'm told it was a beautiful Belgian day.
522
00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:41,510
The smell of waffles and Brussels sprouts
filled the summer air...
523
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,350
...until....
524
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,600
My birth mother was incinerated.
525
00:34:46,770 --> 00:34:49,810
l only survived
because her smoking carcass...
526
00:34:49,980 --> 00:34:53,610
...formed a protective cocoon
of slaughtered human effluence.
527
00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:56,860
A Belgian man and his 15-year-old
love slave with webbed feet...
528
00:34:57,030 --> 00:34:58,530
...was looting the accident scene.
529
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,910
They came across a blood-soaked baby,
moi.
530
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,120
They raised me to be evil.
531
00:35:03,290 --> 00:35:06,080
You know, that old chestnut.
532
00:35:07,460 --> 00:35:10,460
But nothing compares to this,
being inside the belly of the beast...
533
00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:12,750
...night after night, all alone.
534
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,130
Daddy’s all pent up. Let’s freak!
535
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:16,630
Oh!
536
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,360
Time's up.
537
00:35:34,530 --> 00:35:37,450
Visiting hours are over. Step to the line.
538
00:35:37,610 --> 00:35:39,240
Cuffs up.
539
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:46,620
Move it.
540
00:35:51,330 --> 00:35:52,750
Hi, there.
541
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,800
How you sleeping? Good?
542
00:35:57,170 --> 00:36:00,010
Gentlemen, listen up, y'all.
543
00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:02,180
Here's the new plan:
544
00:36:02,350 --> 00:36:04,220
You're gonna start a riot...
545
00:36:04,390 --> 00:36:07,520
...and we’re gonna
walk out the front door.
546
00:36:10,270 --> 00:36:11,600
Hey, man.
547
00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:14,820
l know guys on crack
that makes more sense than you.
548
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,530
Really?
549
00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:19,780
Then let me put it to you this way, cuz.
550
00:36:25,370 --> 00:36:26,700
Yeah.
551
00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:29,960
-Instead of treated
-We get tricked
552
00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:33,290
-Instead of kisses
-We get kicked
553
00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:34,540
It's the hard knock
554
00:36:34,710 --> 00:36:36,800
I don't know how to
be No crib on MTV
555
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,050
God only knows
Got my Mini Me in the G.P.
556
00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:41,260
See how it goes
Evil's all that I see
557
00:36:41,430 --> 00:36:43,550
And you ask me my name?
D to the rizzo
558
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,390
E to the vizzo
I to the lizzo
559
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,770
I'm a crazy
Y'all knew that
560
00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:51,060
Austin caught me in the first act
It's all backwards, what's with that?
561
00:36:51,230 --> 00:36:53,900
So I'll make a prophecy
From the dogs to the Mini Me
562
00:36:54,060 --> 00:36:56,730
Give me an Escalade, a two-way
Bling bling on eBay
563
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,650
Domino
564
00:37:02,570 --> 00:37:04,740
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it
565
00:37:04,910 --> 00:37:06,580
Instead of treated
566
00:37:07,450 --> 00:37:09,830
This is for all my homeys in Bruges
567
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,580
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
568
00:37:17,550 --> 00:37:19,420
Ah, Cristal.
569
00:37:19,590 --> 00:37:20,630
My Moto.
570
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,260
A couple of beyotches.
571
00:37:22,430 --> 00:37:23,930
Why not?
572
00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:26,640
I gotta bust a move
Drop and bust a groove
573
00:37:26,810 --> 00:37:29,060
Feelin' fine, got an evil crew
Goldmember too
574
00:37:29,220 --> 00:37:30,220
Lick my 9
575
00:37:30,390 --> 00:37:32,940
Till then I'll...on my...butt
Brains out
576
00:37:33,100 --> 00:37:35,770
Put...on call
And splooge in your...that's all
577
00:37:35,940 --> 00:37:37,690
Fo' shizzle my nizzle, y'all
578
00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,320
Yeah.
579
00:37:42,950 --> 00:37:44,410
All right, Listen up.
580
00:37:44,570 --> 00:37:47,200
Tonight, 8 p.m.,
you're going to start a riot.
581
00:37:47,370 --> 00:37:49,620
Yes, Dr. Evil.
582
00:37:49,790 --> 00:37:53,290
Attention, all guards.
There is a riot in progress.
583
00:37:53,460 --> 00:37:55,290
Seal all exits.
584
00:37:55,460 --> 00:38:00,340
Attention. Dr. Evil and his clone
are trying to escape.
585
00:38:00,510 --> 00:38:04,380
All guards report to Cell Block A
immediately.
586
00:38:04,550 --> 00:38:07,640
Dr. Evil and his clone are getting away.
587
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:17,980
There you are.
588
00:38:18,150 --> 00:38:20,980
-Good morning, sunshine.
-Good morning.
589
00:38:21,150 --> 00:38:22,440
How did you sleep?
590
00:38:22,610 --> 00:38:25,990
-Great.
-Me too. If these lips could talk.
591
00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:29,830
Mm. Oh, hello.
592
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,080
You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.
593
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,540
Oh. l hope there's a search involved.
594
00:38:38,130 --> 00:38:39,250
You've got mail.
595
00:38:39,420 --> 00:38:41,840
So, what does this thing do?
596
00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:43,510
Well, it's called the Internet...
597
00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:46,050
...and it's completely revolutionized
the way we live...
598
00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:47,840
...and access vital information.
599
00:38:48,010 --> 00:38:49,970
For example, have a look at this:
600
00:38:50,140 --> 00:38:51,470
Oh, look at the monkey.
601
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,680
Oh, he's got his finger on his--
-Oh, no. Watch out.
602
00:38:57,270 --> 00:38:59,770
Wow. Now, that's vital information.
603
00:38:59,940 --> 00:39:01,440
l know. It’s amazing.
604
00:39:04,190 --> 00:39:07,030
Oh, Basil. What's happening, baby?
605
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,860
A lot is happening, Foxxy.
606
00:39:09,030 --> 00:39:11,120
Dr. Evil has escaped.
607
00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:13,330
The good news is that
one of our agents...
608
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:16,870
...has managed to infiltrate
Dr. Evil's organization.
609
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,710
Excellent. We’ve been trying for years
to get a mole inside Dr. Evil’s lair.
610
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,840
-We now have that mole.
-Yes.
611
00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:26,300
And here he is.
612
00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:29,340
So you're the--
613
00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:33,890
Mo....
614
00:39:34,060 --> 00:39:35,930
Most. Most.
615
00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:38,480
-Most.
-Most excellent agent we've ever seen.
616
00:39:38,650 --> 00:39:40,900
Yes, most excellent agent we’ve ever seen.
617
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:42,900
-Mm-hm.
-Thank you.
618
00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:44,570
Thank you.
619
00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:47,400
Now, l wasn't able to get an exact Location,
but l did learn...
620
00:39:47,570 --> 00:39:50,360
...that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair
outside of Tokyo, Japan.
621
00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:52,410
Hmm.
622
00:39:53,950 --> 00:39:56,580
By the way, l realize
that l have a large mole on my face.
623
00:39:57,910 --> 00:39:59,500
Where? Ha, ha.
624
00:39:59,670 --> 00:40:02,330
What? Where's that mole? Heh, heh.
625
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,590
l didn't see one.
626
00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:09,050
l also realize the irony
that l am myself a mole.
627
00:40:09,930 --> 00:40:12,850
No one would make that connection.
628
00:40:14,930 --> 00:40:17,770
Anyway, well done, old chap.
629
00:40:17,930 --> 00:40:18,980
Jolly good work.
630
00:40:19,140 --> 00:40:22,440
Yes, nice to mole you-- Meet you.
Nice to meet your mole.
631
00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:23,770
-Don't say "mole."
-Stop.
632
00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:25,980
-l said "mole."
-Stop.
633
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:28,400
Stop.
634
00:40:29,450 --> 00:40:31,110
Bye.
-Mole.
635
00:40:35,330 --> 00:40:36,620
Mole.
636
00:40:36,790 --> 00:40:38,500
Stop.
637
00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:43,210
-Mole.
-Oh, shut up!
638
00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:48,800
Moley-moley-moley-moIey-moley.
639
00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:04,900
Up, periscope.
640
00:41:09,990 --> 00:41:11,820
Ladies and gentlemen...
641
00:41:11,990 --> 00:41:14,160
...welcome to my new submarine lair.
642
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,240
It’s long and hard and full of seamen.
643
00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:26,170
Nothing? No?
644
00:41:26,340 --> 00:41:27,590
Not even a titter?
645
00:41:27,750 --> 00:41:28,960
Tough sub.
646
00:41:29,130 --> 00:41:31,920
Dr. Evil, you look very tight.
647
00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:33,590
Yes, tight like a tiger.
648
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,180
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Really?
649
00:41:35,350 --> 00:41:37,140
Yes, you look like a macho man.
650
00:41:37,310 --> 00:41:39,140
Village People.
651
00:41:39,310 --> 00:41:40,520
You know, Goldmember...
652
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,770
...I don't think that’s something
one dude should say to another dude.
653
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:46,480
Yeah. A little creepy. Mm-hm.
654
00:41:46,650 --> 00:41:51,440
Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
This is a keeper. Oi.
655
00:41:51,610 --> 00:41:52,860
Yes.
656
00:41:53,030 --> 00:41:56,990
All right, you're not gonna put that skin
in your mouth, are you?
657
00:41:58,490 --> 00:42:00,990
You did. Okay, that’s just gross.
658
00:42:02,210 --> 00:42:04,460
Yes, salty. Yes, that was good.
659
00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:06,710
Ladies and gentlemen...
660
00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:09,920
...as you know...
661
00:42:10,090 --> 00:42:12,840
...we've been designing
a "tractor beam"...
662
00:42:13,010 --> 00:42:15,130
...code-named Preparation H.
663
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:19,050
-Heh-heh-heh.
-It’s powerful enough to pull the meteor...
664
00:42:19,220 --> 00:42:23,060
..."Midas 22" into a collision course
with the Earth.
665
00:42:23,230 --> 00:42:27,600
Upon entering the atmosphere,
the hot ball of magma...
666
00:42:27,770 --> 00:42:31,610
...will strike and melt the polar icecaps,
causing a global flood.
667
00:42:31,780 --> 00:42:36,240
But enough of my technical mumbo jumbo.
Allow me to demonstrate.
668
00:42:40,740 --> 00:42:41,910
Lower the globe.
669
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:43,910
Lower the globe!
670
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,250
Ow! Ow!
671
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,000
Well, congratulations, numbnuts.
672
00:42:51,170 --> 00:42:55,220
You've succeeded in turning me
into a fricking jack-in-the-box.
673
00:42:55,380 --> 00:42:57,840
Get it off. Get it off. It's dark, it's dark.
674
00:42:58,010 --> 00:42:59,720
I’m okay. I’m okay.
675
00:43:01,310 --> 00:43:02,930
Release the meteor.
676
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:05,100
Release the meteor!
677
00:43:06,770 --> 00:43:08,270
-Ow!
-Oh....
678
00:43:10,270 --> 00:43:11,360
No way.
679
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,030
Right in the kniggin.
680
00:43:13,190 --> 00:43:16,240
-Goddamn it. Oh!
-Ow.
681
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,950
Guys.
682
00:43:18,450 --> 00:43:19,780
Way to go, A-hole.
683
00:43:19,950 --> 00:43:24,290
All right, hold on while I try
and find my balls, for God's sakes.
684
00:43:24,450 --> 00:43:26,660
One, two and three.
685
00:43:26,830 --> 00:43:28,620
Okay. I'm okay.
686
00:43:28,790 --> 00:43:32,710
Dr. Evil, we still have
the ultimate insurance policy.
687
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,300
May l present to you...
688
00:43:34,460 --> 00:43:37,670
...the very sexual, the very tight...
689
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,970
...Austin Powers' father.
690
00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,810
-His what?
-His father, Dr. Evil.
691
00:43:43,970 --> 00:43:45,720
His "farger"?
692
00:43:46,390 --> 00:43:50,100
-What's a farger?
-His father. You know, the father.
693
00:43:50,270 --> 00:43:54,940
Yeah. Goldmember, I don't speak
freaky-deaky Dutch, okay, perv boy?
694
00:43:55,110 --> 00:43:57,240
Father. His dad. Dad is father.
695
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,530
Oh, his dad?
696
00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:00,990
Oh, his father.
697
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,660
Yes, I have a Dutch accent.
Isn’t that weird?
698
00:44:03,830 --> 00:44:05,740
Father. Father.
699
00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:09,000
Ah, Nigel Powers.
700
00:44:09,170 --> 00:44:10,500
Hello, hello.
701
00:44:14,130 --> 00:44:18,470
-Bring him to me.
-Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.
702
00:44:18,630 --> 00:44:21,720
Oh, put the guns down.
Is this the first day on the job or something?
703
00:44:21,890 --> 00:44:25,510
Look, this is how it goes.
You attack me one at a time...
704
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,930
...and l knock you out with a single punch.
Okay? Go.
705
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:30,520
-Judo chop.
-Oh, he's good.
706
00:44:30,690 --> 00:44:31,940
Judo chop.
707
00:44:32,610 --> 00:44:33,980
Do you know who I am?
708
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,730
Have you any idea
how many anonymous henchmen...
709
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,360
...I've killed over the years?
And look at you.
710
00:44:39,530 --> 00:44:42,530
You haven't even got a nametag.
You got no chance.
711
00:44:42,700 --> 00:44:44,160
Why don't you just fall down?
712
00:44:44,330 --> 00:44:46,240
Go on, son.
713
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,620
All right, Dr. Evil, give yourself up
while you've still got a chance.
714
00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:56,340
Okay. Okay. You've got me.
715
00:44:56,500 --> 00:44:58,880
Nigel Powers, meet...
716
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,550
...Mini Me.
-Oh, blimey.
717
00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,050
l thought l smelled cabbage.
718
00:45:04,220 --> 00:45:05,390
Take him away.
719
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:09,560
Uh, Dr. Evil, can l paint his yoo-hoo gold?
720
00:45:09,730 --> 00:45:12,390
It’s kind of my thing, you know.
721
00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:21,490
How about no, you crazy Dutch bastard?
722
00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:25,950
Attention, henchmen, it's health week.
723
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,740
Don't forget your physical.
Dr. Evil's orders.
724
00:45:32,830 --> 00:45:35,830
You know, l think it's a shame
the way they treat you.
725
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,590
Just because
you're one-eighth their size...
726
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,760
...doesn't mean you deserve
one-eighth of their respect.
727
00:45:42,430 --> 00:45:44,050
Does it?
728
00:45:44,220 --> 00:45:46,930
Say, mini-fella, I'm, uh...
729
00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:48,930
...I'm curious.
730
00:45:49,430 --> 00:45:52,770
Is, uh, everything in proportion?
731
00:45:54,270 --> 00:45:56,940
You know, your bobby-dangler,
your general, two colonels...
732
00:45:57,110 --> 00:45:59,360
...your giggle stick, master of ceremonies.
733
00:46:00,690 --> 00:46:02,940
Yeah. Oh, don't be shy. Let's have a look.
734
00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:10,290
My word.
735
00:46:10,450 --> 00:46:11,950
You're a tripod.
736
00:46:13,710 --> 00:46:17,580
What do you feed that thing, eh?
It’s like a baby's arm holding an apple.
737
00:46:19,250 --> 00:46:23,470
The good news is, you ever get tired,
you can use it as a kickstand.
738
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:32,560
l think we both know who the real brains is
behind this operation, eh?
739
00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:33,770
Mm-hm.
740
00:46:47,820 --> 00:46:50,780
Tokyo à gogo, baby. Yeah.
741
00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:54,250
Oh, what's kicking, Basil?
742
00:46:54,410 --> 00:46:57,170
A lot's kicking, Foxxy. Austin...
743
00:46:57,330 --> 00:47:01,590
...one of Dr. Evil's henchmen
has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena.
744
00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:03,670
Proceed there immediately.
745
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,170
Thanks, Basil.
746
00:47:11,390 --> 00:47:16,140
Ah, Jesus Christ.
This diaper's making my nuts rub together.
747
00:47:16,310 --> 00:47:19,190
It’s gonna start a fire.
748
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,110
That's Fat Bastard.
749
00:47:21,270 --> 00:47:25,030
...Fat Bastard.
750
00:47:37,540 --> 00:47:39,880
You know what my favorite
Helen Hunt movie is?
751
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,040
Twister.
752
00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,720
Oh!
753
00:47:48,890 --> 00:47:51,390
Fat Bastard...
754
00:47:53,060 --> 00:47:55,350
-That's not right.
-Sure ain't.
755
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,350
Are we done here?
756
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,690
I’ve got to take a crap.
757
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:02,770
Wait a tick.
758
00:48:02,940 --> 00:48:05,030
Something doesn't smell right.
759
00:48:05,190 --> 00:48:07,740
And l think it's Fat Bastard.
760
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:12,320
On top of spaghetti
761
00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:16,080
All covered in-- Ahh! --cheese
762
00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:21,500
I lost my poor meatball
763
00:48:21,670 --> 00:48:23,000
'Cause somebody--
764
00:48:25,460 --> 00:48:30,050
-You okay, Austin?
-Sound as a pound, love. Yeah. Good.
765
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,180
What the--? I didn't have any corn.
766
00:48:38,430 --> 00:48:40,100
Aah!
767
00:48:49,030 --> 00:48:50,450
Hey, diaper lady.
768
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,740
Here's my diaper.
769
00:48:54,410 --> 00:48:56,540
l think l might have pinched one off
too soon.
770
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,370
Oh, l left a rosebud in there for you.
771
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:14,470
You really are a fat bastard.
772
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,970
You know, that hurts my feelings.
l tried going on a diet, you know.
773
00:49:18,140 --> 00:49:21,640
The Zone. You know,
"carbs are the enemy"?
774
00:49:22,230 --> 00:49:24,310
We don't like carbs,
you know what I mean?
775
00:49:24,650 --> 00:49:25,860
Oh.
776
00:49:27,530 --> 00:49:28,900
Who's your friend?
777
00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:32,650
Oh, I'd like to have a go with that filly.
778
00:49:32,820 --> 00:49:35,370
Oh, do you find me sexy?
779
00:49:35,530 --> 00:49:37,410
Oh, look at my titties.
780
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,330
-Shut your mouth.
-Mm, yeah.
781
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,420
All right, that's enough.
782
00:49:44,580 --> 00:49:46,590
Okay, you got me.
783
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,170
-Put it there, would you?
-Okay.
784
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,090
Come here, you.
785
00:49:55,890 --> 00:49:58,350
Ow, my titties!
786
00:49:58,510 --> 00:50:00,680
Ow, you gave me a nurple.
787
00:50:06,310 --> 00:50:08,360
I’ve got you now, ha-ha-ha.
788
00:50:09,530 --> 00:50:10,690
Come here, you.
789
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,700
Prepare for the ultimate
wire-fighting maneuver.
790
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,290
l just hope my wire-fighting team
is ready.
791
00:50:28,170 --> 00:50:30,050
Whoa!
792
00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:47,480
-Crikey.
-Oh, great.
793
00:50:47,650 --> 00:50:49,480
Isn’t this magical?
794
00:50:49,650 --> 00:50:51,360
One of my wires broke.
795
00:50:59,030 --> 00:51:00,530
You under arrest, sugar.
796
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,080
Okay, Fat Bastard, who's the Japanese cat
you made an exchange with?
797
00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:08,420
Oh, all right.
798
00:51:08,830 --> 00:51:11,040
His name is Roboto.
799
00:51:11,210 --> 00:51:13,340
He owns Roboto Industries.
800
00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:18,180
He's designing some contraption
for Dr. Evil. l don't know.
801
00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:19,930
The tractor beam.
802
00:51:20,100 --> 00:51:21,350
That's it.
-Listen...
803
00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:24,520
...do you honestly think
that crime can pay?
804
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,600
Well, to be honest with you,
I’ve been trying to go legit.
805
00:51:28,270 --> 00:51:31,400
l really take my sumo wrestling
seriously, you know.
806
00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:35,820
But when you're an overweight child...
807
00:51:35,990 --> 00:51:39,660
...in a society that demands perfection...
808
00:51:40,490 --> 00:51:42,950
...well, your sense of right, wrong...
809
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,660
...fair and unfair...
810
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:50,460
...will always be tragically skewed.
811
00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:57,800
Did you just soil yourself?
812
00:51:57,970 --> 00:52:00,430
Maybe, heh-heh-heh.
813
00:52:00,590 --> 00:52:03,300
It did sound a little wet, didn't it?
Right at the end.
814
00:52:03,470 --> 00:52:04,720
Ooh. Ha-ha-ha.
815
00:52:04,890 --> 00:52:06,270
Let's have a smell, all right?
816
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:08,980
Ooh, wafting, wafting.
817
00:52:09,150 --> 00:52:12,730
Oh, everyone likes their own brand,
don't they? This is magic.
818
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:14,610
All right, analysis:
819
00:52:14,780 --> 00:52:17,820
Oh, it smells Like carrots and throw-up.
820
00:52:17,990 --> 00:52:19,990
Oh, that could gag a maggot.
821
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:24,660
l smell Like hot, sick ass
in a dead carcass.
822
00:52:25,370 --> 00:52:28,960
Oh, even stink would say that stinks.
823
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,330
You know when you go
into an apartment building...
824
00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:34,170
...and you smell other people's cooking
on each floor and you go:
825
00:52:34,340 --> 00:52:37,590
"What are they cooking?" That, plus crap.
826
00:52:45,390 --> 00:52:47,270
-Hey, Pop.
-Hey, Scotty.
827
00:52:47,430 --> 00:52:49,020
How you been, sport?
828
00:52:49,190 --> 00:52:50,690
Whoa!
829
00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:52,150
l got you a present.
830
00:52:52,310 --> 00:52:53,650
Really?
831
00:52:53,810 --> 00:52:56,190
-Open the tank.
-Open the tank!
832
00:53:02,820 --> 00:53:06,530
Are those sharks with laser beams
attached to their heads?
833
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,750
Cool. You mean l actually have
fricking sharks...
834
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,380
...with fricking Laser beams
attached to their fricking heads?
835
00:53:18,010 --> 00:53:21,170
You're the best evil son
an evil dad could ever ask for.
836
00:53:23,590 --> 00:53:24,640
Well, l love you, Dad.
837
00:53:28,220 --> 00:53:29,470
l love you, son.
838
00:53:31,230 --> 00:53:32,440
It’s touching moment, yes.
839
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,020
Scotty, come here.
840
00:53:35,980 --> 00:53:38,150
Pop a squat right next to Daddy.
841
00:53:40,740 --> 00:53:41,950
Mini Me?
842
00:53:42,490 --> 00:53:44,490
Move down the bench.
843
00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:47,410
Move down the bench.
844
00:53:47,580 --> 00:53:48,990
There's a power struggle, yes.
845
00:53:54,420 --> 00:53:56,750
Scotty's on fire.
846
00:53:58,590 --> 00:54:00,380
All right, it's getting crowded in here.
847
00:54:00,550 --> 00:54:02,760
Everyone out, everyone out. Come on.
848
00:54:02,930 --> 00:54:05,050
Not you, Scotty. Not you, Number Two.
849
00:54:05,220 --> 00:54:06,890
Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember.
850
00:54:07,050 --> 00:54:08,390
Not you, guys back there.
851
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,600
Not you, Henchman Holding Wrench.
852
00:54:10,770 --> 00:54:12,770
Not you,
Henchman Arbitrarily Turning Knobs...
853
00:54:12,940 --> 00:54:14,940
...Making It Seem Like
You're Doing Something.
854
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,950
Oh, this is uncomfortable.
855
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,790
Heh, heh. The tiny one can't take a hint.
Heh-heh-heh.
856
00:54:33,910 --> 00:54:36,460
He doesn't understand.
He is small, heh, heh.
857
00:54:54,060 --> 00:54:56,270
Hello, Foxxy. Austin.
858
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,940
We've confirmed what Fat Bastard told you
about Roboto is accurate.
859
00:55:00,110 --> 00:55:03,480
He was hired by Dr. Evil
to construct Preparation H.
860
00:55:03,650 --> 00:55:07,740
So Roboto had the technology
to build Goldmember's tractor beam.
861
00:55:07,910 --> 00:55:09,780
Which means Roboto
will lead us to Goldmember.
862
00:55:09,950 --> 00:55:13,040
Which means Goldmember
will lead us to my father.
863
00:55:25,420 --> 00:55:28,510
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. I thank you.
864
00:55:34,020 --> 00:55:36,100
-You speak Japanese?
-A little.
865
00:55:36,270 --> 00:55:38,940
Well, you might be a cunning linguist,
but I’m a master debater.
866
00:55:42,690 --> 00:55:44,940
I’m looking for my father.
He was kidnapped.
867
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:51,990
Please eat what?
868
00:55:52,410 --> 00:55:53,740
Wait.
869
00:55:54,660 --> 00:55:58,370
He said,
"Please eat some shitake mushrooms."
870
00:55:58,540 --> 00:56:00,330
Tell me...
871
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:01,960
...what do you know...
872
00:56:02,130 --> 00:56:05,710
...about my father's where...
873
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:10,180
...abouts?
874
00:56:10,340 --> 00:56:11,680
Mm.
875
00:56:15,470 --> 00:56:17,730
"Your ass is happy"?
876
00:56:17,890 --> 00:56:19,230
No.
877
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,820
He said,
"Your assignment is an unhappy one."
878
00:56:24,980 --> 00:56:26,280
Oh.
879
00:56:29,150 --> 00:56:31,740
Nice potty mouth, dirtbag.
880
00:56:33,740 --> 00:56:34,870
Oh.
881
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,830
Yes, quite off topic,
thank you very much.
882
00:56:40,670 --> 00:56:42,880
Why don't I just speak in English?
883
00:56:44,090 --> 00:56:46,090
That would be a good idea,
now, wouldn't it?
884
00:56:46,260 --> 00:56:48,260
That way l wouldn't
misread the subtitles...
885
00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:51,590
...making it seem like
you're saying things that are dirty.
886
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,930
I’m sorry to hear about your father,
but l can't help you.
887
00:56:56,770 --> 00:56:59,100
Please excuse me.
l have another appointment.
888
00:57:05,110 --> 00:57:06,320
By the way...
889
00:57:11,700 --> 00:57:15,030
-Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
-Tell me something l don't know.
890
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,450
-l open-mouth kissed a horse once.
-Say what?
891
00:57:17,620 --> 00:57:19,040
That's something you don't know.
892
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,120
My spider sense is telling me
that my father's still in this building.
893
00:57:22,290 --> 00:57:25,630
You keep a lookout.
I’m gonna try and sneak in.
894
00:58:29,820 --> 00:58:31,820
Mm.
895
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,750
Come on, come on, come on.
896
00:59:08,730 --> 00:59:09,900
Judo chop!
897
00:59:36,010 --> 00:59:37,930
Shazam!
898
00:59:38,090 --> 00:59:39,430
Come on, sugar.
899
00:59:44,470 --> 00:59:47,270
-There's Goldmember and Roboto.
-Yes, very impressive.
900
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,100
Put Preparation H
into my schtuppen transporten.
901
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,400
-What's this?
-You need this to turn on the tractor beam.
902
00:59:56,570 --> 00:59:58,280
It’s a gold key.
903
00:59:58,450 --> 00:59:59,860
It’s gold.
904
01:00:00,820 --> 01:00:02,160
Smarty-pants.
905
01:00:02,330 --> 01:00:04,450
-Let's spread out.
-Yeah.
906
01:00:08,870 --> 01:00:11,330
Hands up, Goldmember.
It’s payback time.
907
01:00:12,710 --> 01:00:14,130
Sure, you can kill me...
908
01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:18,050
...but then what happens
to Austin Powers' father?
909
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:27,850
-Dad.
-Yes.
910
01:00:28,020 --> 01:00:31,310
And now he's going to have
an unfortunate smelting accident.
911
01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:40,320
-Hiya!
-Unh!
912
01:00:40,490 --> 01:00:43,070
Don't worry, Dad. I’m here to rescue you.
913
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:47,580
Ow! May l point out that last time around,
you fell into an obvious trap.
914
01:00:47,750 --> 01:00:50,160
Now you're trying to save me
instead of stopping Goldmember.
915
01:00:50,330 --> 01:00:53,170
Oh, please. I’m not gonna
let Goldmember get away.
916
01:00:53,340 --> 01:00:55,340
Austin, Goldmember's getting away.
917
01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:56,840
Ah.
918
01:01:01,510 --> 01:01:05,350
Hello, hello.
Aren't you going to introduce us, Austin?
919
01:01:05,510 --> 01:01:07,810
-Foxxy, this is--
-Powers. Nigel Powers.
920
01:01:08,930 --> 01:01:12,440
-Is that Eau de Flores you're wearing?
-Yes, it is.
921
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:13,980
That's how a woman should smell.
922
01:01:14,150 --> 01:01:16,360
Especially one as beautiful as you.
923
01:01:16,530 --> 01:01:20,440
My, my. Even in the face of danger,
you live up to your reputation.
924
01:01:23,370 --> 01:01:24,530
Get on with it.
925
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,710
I’ve got an idea.
926
01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:36,880
Your spy car's a MINI?
927
01:01:37,050 --> 01:01:40,050
It’s not the size, mate,
it's how you use it.
928
01:02:03,530 --> 01:02:05,320
l would've found my way off that.
929
01:02:05,490 --> 01:02:07,490
Fellas.
-What? I saved your life.
930
01:02:07,660 --> 01:02:10,200
-You should've been doing your job.
-Oh, you're welcome, man.
931
01:02:10,370 --> 01:02:12,370
Shut up and turn around, please!
932
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,150
Run! It’s Godzilla!
933
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,910
It looks Like Godzilla, but due to
international copyright laws, it's not.
934
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,450
Still, we should run Like it is Godzilla!
935
01:02:49,620 --> 01:02:50,870
Though it isn't.
936
01:02:56,460 --> 01:02:57,790
There's Goldmember.
937
01:03:04,130 --> 01:03:06,300
Breaker, breaker, 1-niner.
938
01:03:06,470 --> 01:03:08,300
This is Goldy-Wang. Over.
939
01:03:08,470 --> 01:03:09,970
10-4, there, Goldy-Wang.
940
01:03:10,140 --> 01:03:12,470
This is Rubber Ducky.
What's your 10-20? Over.
941
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:16,440
I’ve got Preparation H in my rear
and Smokey the Bear in my back door.
942
01:03:16,650 --> 01:03:18,900
We've got us a convoy. Over.
943
01:03:19,060 --> 01:03:22,820
Yee-haw! Copy that, you son of a bitch
pile of monkey nuts.
944
01:03:23,530 --> 01:03:25,860
Open wide there, Rubber Ducky.
945
01:03:26,030 --> 01:03:28,530
I am entering your mouth now. Over.
946
01:03:34,790 --> 01:03:38,500
Oh, great. Goldmember got away.
-Now what?
947
01:03:38,670 --> 01:03:41,460
l think it's obvious.
We should take Dr. Evil's lair by force.
948
01:03:41,630 --> 01:03:44,050
-You can be my backup, son.
-Backup?
949
01:03:44,210 --> 01:03:46,130
Well, that's fairly condescending.
950
01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:48,380
Do you think Dr. Evil's
gonna expect an attack?
951
01:03:48,550 --> 01:03:50,390
We should infiltrate his lair.
952
01:03:50,550 --> 01:03:53,180
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
953
01:03:53,350 --> 01:03:57,350
We need commandos, scuba,
gadgets, for God's sake.
954
01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,850
Well, l don't like to use gadgets...
955
01:04:00,020 --> 01:04:02,150
...outside the bedroom. I thank you.
956
01:04:05,030 --> 01:04:06,110
Outside the bedroom.
957
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:09,700
You know, l think being frozen
damaged your brain.
958
01:04:10,530 --> 01:04:12,990
Really? And how would you know?
959
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:16,830
This is the most time
that we've ever spent together since...
960
01:04:17,330 --> 01:04:18,370
...ever.
961
01:04:18,540 --> 01:04:20,620
-What are you saying, son?
-Oh, please.
962
01:04:20,790 --> 01:04:23,710
What boy learned to drive a car
with machine guns on it?
963
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:26,880
Or had a helicopter
you can fit in a knapsack?
964
01:04:27,050 --> 01:04:29,050
What about your Swedish nanny, Helga?
965
01:04:30,510 --> 01:04:31,550
Oh, yes. Helga.
966
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,550
Let's say I didn't hire her for the cooking.
967
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:35,310
-Ha-ha-ha.
-Ha-ha-ha. Oh, yes.
968
01:04:35,470 --> 01:04:37,140
She stayed on until you were 24.
969
01:04:39,060 --> 01:04:40,640
We were mates, you and l.
970
01:04:40,810 --> 01:04:44,020
l didn't need a friend, I needed a father.
971
01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:47,070
Do you know l risked my life
trying to save you...
972
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,700
...and you still don't give me any respect.
973
01:04:49,860 --> 01:04:54,160
Respect? Oh, come on.
lf you've got an issue, here’s a tissue.
974
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,340
That is not funny.
975
01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:08,760
Well, l suppose we better go
our separate ways, then.
976
01:05:10,630 --> 01:05:16,560
Fine.
977
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:30,900
So I've been assigned to welcome you
to the Ministry of Defence.
978
01:05:31,070 --> 01:05:34,530
l have a letter from my director
personally thanking you for switching sides.
979
01:05:42,830 --> 01:05:45,080
l can't wait to inform Austin
of your defection.
980
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,800
Oh, hello, Basil.
981
01:05:51,970 --> 01:05:54,800
Yes, Austin should be here
any second. Yes.
982
01:05:55,390 --> 01:05:57,810
Yes, I'm in Austin’s hotel room right now.
Mm-hm.
983
01:06:04,270 --> 01:06:06,310
-Aah!
-Oh-- Uh--
984
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:08,480
-Assassin!
-Eek!
985
01:06:11,150 --> 01:06:13,070
Try to kill me, will you?
986
01:06:16,070 --> 01:06:17,950
Oh, you want to be friends, huh?
987
01:06:19,620 --> 01:06:21,250
Wait a tick.
988
01:06:22,580 --> 01:06:23,910
Peace?
989
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:25,120
Oh!
990
01:06:25,290 --> 01:06:27,130
I’m not falling for that again.
991
01:06:36,470 --> 01:06:38,680
But at least he didn't mention it.
992
01:06:38,850 --> 01:06:41,180
Yes, I realize he can't talk.
993
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,350
Listen, l think Dr. Evil treated him badly
and that's why he's decided to help us.
994
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,610
Come back here, you little bugger.
995
01:06:54,740 --> 01:06:55,860
Got you.
996
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,790
Oh, yes, I’m sure Austin and Mini
will get along famously.
997
01:07:03,370 --> 01:07:06,460
No, l guarantee nothing will happen
to Mini Me on my watch.
998
01:07:10,710 --> 01:07:13,550
Come on, you bugger.
Come on, I got you.
999
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:23,220
Oh, l think he and Austin will be united
in their commitment to stopping Dr. Evil.
1000
01:07:27,310 --> 01:07:30,860
Austin, there you are.
I’ve come to tell you the good news.
1001
01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:36,900
Mini Me has...
1002
01:07:37,740 --> 01:07:38,740
...switched sides.
1003
01:07:39,410 --> 01:07:42,240
Ah! Oh. Heh.
1004
01:07:42,410 --> 01:07:46,870
Sorry about that, old chap. Sorry.
You know. Sorry.
1005
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,500
Welcome aboard, heh-heh-heh.
1006
01:07:49,670 --> 01:07:52,170
-My "mole-stake."
-What was that?
1007
01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:56,420
-Listen, just get it out of your system.
-No, I’m fine.
1008
01:07:56,590 --> 01:07:58,590
-We could work together better if--
-It’s okay--
1009
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:00,470
Mole! Bloody mole!
1010
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:04,770
We're not supposed to talk about the mole,
but there's a mole winking me in the face.
1011
01:08:04,930 --> 01:08:09,190
I’m gonna chop it off and cut it up
and make some guacamole.
1012
01:08:11,270 --> 01:08:13,690
-Better?
-Yeah. Yes.
1013
01:08:27,870 --> 01:08:31,040
So you've decided to join us,
huh, Mini Me?
1014
01:08:31,210 --> 01:08:33,460
Welcome to the good side,
my mini-brother.
1015
01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:36,630
And thank you for the map
of Dr. Evil's sub.
1016
01:08:38,130 --> 01:08:39,800
What's this? It says:
1017
01:08:39,970 --> 01:08:43,430
"Dr. Evil's tractor beam is now complete.
There's not much time.
1018
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,140
Dr. Evil must pay."
1019
01:08:49,770 --> 01:08:52,940
"You are so beautiful.
Are you a clone of an angel?"
1020
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:58,440
That is so sweet.
Well, no, my mini-man, I'm not.
1021
01:09:01,740 --> 01:09:03,990
"Are you sure you don't have
a little clone in you?"
1022
01:09:05,330 --> 01:09:06,740
Yeah, I'm sure.
1023
01:09:06,950 --> 01:09:08,200
"Would you like to?"
1024
01:09:11,830 --> 01:09:13,750
Horny bugger.
1025
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:15,960
That is so not funny.
1026
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,760
Okay, everyone, prepare to dive.
1027
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,430
This spy car's also a submarine.
1028
01:09:36,690 --> 01:09:39,190
Get me the World Organization.
1029
01:09:41,570 --> 01:09:42,860
What is it, Dr. Evil?
1030
01:09:43,030 --> 01:09:44,490
Gentlemen, in a matter of hours...
1031
01:09:44,660 --> 01:09:48,540
...a meteor will crash into Earth,
causing a global flood.
1032
01:09:48,700 --> 01:09:50,830
That is, of course, unless you pay me...
1033
01:09:52,540 --> 01:09:54,000
...one billion...
1034
01:09:59,880 --> 01:10:02,170
...million yen.
1035
01:10:02,340 --> 01:10:04,050
l think you're bluffing.
1036
01:10:04,220 --> 01:10:08,220
Well, perhaps you'd like a demonstration.
Number Two, the key, please.
1037
01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:32,250
Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing.
1038
01:10:32,410 --> 01:10:34,410
One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
1039
01:10:34,580 --> 01:10:37,000
-Which one?
-It's the one that looks like a pair of--
1040
01:10:37,170 --> 01:10:40,420
Melons. Big, juicy melons.
1041
01:10:40,590 --> 01:10:42,590
Are they nice and firm?
1042
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:44,590
Well, what do you think?
1043
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:47,510
Look at that. It looks like a set of giant--
1044
01:10:49,430 --> 01:10:53,270
-Hey, "A" and "N," you're late.
-How we doing? We're back.
1045
01:10:53,430 --> 01:10:55,770
Go, Titans!
1046
01:10:55,940 --> 01:10:58,360
Check it out. Those remind me of--
1047
01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:00,860
-Boobs.
-Boobs, Ozzy?
1048
01:11:01,030 --> 01:11:05,450
-These filmmakers are ****ing boobs.
-What do you mean, Dad?
1049
01:11:05,610 --> 01:11:10,200
They're using the same ****ing joke
as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
1050
01:11:10,370 --> 01:11:12,790
-What ****ing joke?
-You know, the ****ing joke...
1051
01:11:12,950 --> 01:11:15,460
...about the long smooth rocket
that looks like some guy's--
1052
01:11:15,620 --> 01:11:17,460
-Johnson.
-Yes, sir.
1053
01:11:17,630 --> 01:11:21,300
-Any sign of that satellite?
-No, sir. It's gone.
1054
01:11:21,460 --> 01:11:25,010
Gentlemen, you have my demands.
Peace out.
1055
01:11:59,580 --> 01:12:02,290
Cor, baby. You look very switched on.
1056
01:12:03,670 --> 01:12:05,380
Thank you, Austin.
1057
01:12:05,550 --> 01:12:06,880
Uh--
1058
01:12:08,510 --> 01:12:11,800
No, Mini Me. Off. Bad. Mustn't.
No humping.
1059
01:12:14,180 --> 01:12:17,100
Dr. Evil, in light of the success
of the device...
1060
01:12:17,270 --> 01:12:19,690
...it is Japanese custom
that l receive a bonus.
1061
01:12:21,110 --> 01:12:23,860
A bonus? Ha-ha-ha. That's good.
1062
01:12:24,030 --> 01:12:25,690
Yeah, that's awesome.
1063
01:12:25,860 --> 01:12:28,360
Throw me a fricking bonus here.
Ha-ha-ha.
1064
01:12:31,370 --> 01:12:34,200
Oh, l haven't laughed that hard
since l was a little girl. Thank you.
1065
01:12:34,370 --> 01:12:36,580
-Hmm.
-Oh.
1066
01:12:36,750 --> 01:12:38,040
You're not joking.
1067
01:12:38,210 --> 01:12:40,370
No. In fact,
if you don't give me the bonus--
1068
01:12:40,540 --> 01:12:42,670
Hey, Dad.
-Hey, Scotty. How are you, sport?
1069
01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:44,500
Whoa!
1070
01:12:50,970 --> 01:12:53,140
-Why don't you let me take care of this?
-Okay.
1071
01:13:04,230 --> 01:13:05,400
Ugh.
1072
01:13:05,570 --> 01:13:07,030
He's got a good evil laugh.
1073
01:13:08,530 --> 01:13:09,860
Get along.
1074
01:13:10,030 --> 01:13:11,200
Scotty!
1075
01:13:11,990 --> 01:13:16,200
Scotty.
1076
01:13:16,370 --> 01:13:19,160
Take it down a notch.
1077
01:13:20,420 --> 01:13:21,580
It’s creeping a bit.
1078
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:23,670
Let's go.
1079
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:29,380
We'll need a disguise.
1080
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:32,430
There's only one uniform.
1081
01:13:33,340 --> 01:13:36,600
One of us has to go on
the other one's shoulders.
1082
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:52,150
Hey there, buddy. How's it going?
Good to see you.
1083
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:55,280
Yeah. Yeah. Hi.
1084
01:13:56,780 --> 01:13:59,290
How are you? Just getting my sea legs.
Sorry about that.
1085
01:13:59,450 --> 01:14:00,790
Hello. You all right?
1086
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:04,000
Yes, it's a good hat. Very good hat.
1087
01:14:05,210 --> 01:14:07,290
Come on, Mini Me. Let's go.
1088
01:14:08,300 --> 01:14:10,590
Hold it right there, mister.
1089
01:14:13,090 --> 01:14:16,300
Did you really think
you could get away with this?
1090
01:14:16,470 --> 01:14:18,640
l did, actually. Yes.
1091
01:14:18,810 --> 01:14:20,890
Every new recruit must have a physical.
1092
01:14:21,850 --> 01:14:23,600
Now get in here, sailor.
1093
01:14:23,770 --> 01:14:26,860
I’m going to need a urine sampIe.
1094
01:14:28,570 --> 01:14:29,820
Okay.
1095
01:14:33,990 --> 01:14:35,740
No.
-I don't know.
1096
01:14:36,990 --> 01:14:39,990
Okay, then. Um....
1097
01:14:44,830 --> 01:14:46,210
Okay.
1098
01:14:55,300 --> 01:14:56,590
Hello.
1099
01:15:03,060 --> 01:15:05,810
And here we go.
1100
01:15:06,310 --> 01:15:07,650
Sorry.
1101
01:15:07,810 --> 01:15:10,270
Right. There you go. Right.
1102
01:15:11,860 --> 01:15:13,110
Ah, yes.
-Terrific.
1103
01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:15,360
Yes, good. Okay.
1104
01:15:15,530 --> 01:15:19,280
All right, sailor, go behind that screen...
1105
01:15:19,490 --> 01:15:21,330
...and strip down to your skivvies.
1106
01:15:21,490 --> 01:15:24,700
All right, then. I’ll just go to that screen...
1107
01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:28,420
...which is over there.
1108
01:15:32,130 --> 01:15:33,800
Right behind that screen.
1109
01:15:35,130 --> 01:15:36,470
Next.
1110
01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:40,390
Come on, hurry. The map.
1111
01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:43,060
Okay, what's our plan?
1112
01:15:45,390 --> 01:15:47,810
-I’m going to need a urine sample.
-Okay.
1113
01:15:47,980 --> 01:15:49,560
Which way to the main chamber?
1114
01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:11,170
Okay, so.... Oh, sure.
1115
01:16:13,550 --> 01:16:15,340
Oh.
1116
01:16:23,220 --> 01:16:26,520
-Excuse me, doctor?
-It’s difficult in public, isn't it?
1117
01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:37,280
Mini Me, our shadows.
We're casting a shadow.
1118
01:16:37,450 --> 01:16:39,200
What's wrong, sailor?
1119
01:16:39,410 --> 01:16:41,570
You should check that guy out.
1120
01:16:47,620 --> 01:16:49,040
What the hell's going on here?
1121
01:16:52,460 --> 01:16:53,880
Hands up.
1122
01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:58,800
You heard me. l said, hands up.
Both of you.
1123
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,140
Oh.
1124
01:17:11,650 --> 01:17:14,650
-Come with me.
-Mini Me, the map. Go.
1125
01:17:16,980 --> 01:17:19,780
Okay. You got me.
1126
01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:32,330
Are you all right, little man?
1127
01:17:32,500 --> 01:17:34,000
Uh-huh.
1128
01:17:36,750 --> 01:17:38,260
Right on.
1129
01:17:55,020 --> 01:17:56,610
Mr. Powers.
1130
01:17:56,770 --> 01:17:58,360
Before l kill you...
1131
01:17:58,530 --> 01:18:01,990
...perhaps you'd like to see
the genius of my plan.
1132
01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:05,660
Key, please.
1133
01:18:09,790 --> 01:18:13,040
What the--? Who? But how? Where? Huh?
1134
01:18:15,420 --> 01:18:16,880
-Looking for this?
-Huh?
1135
01:18:19,210 --> 01:18:21,010
-Mini Me?
-All right...
1136
01:18:21,170 --> 01:18:24,930
...everybody drop your guns,
because Foxxy Cleopatra's in the sub.
1137
01:18:25,090 --> 01:18:28,220
Smashing, Foxxy. Yeah.
1138
01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:32,560
Unh!
-Here, sugar.
1139
01:18:33,190 --> 01:18:34,730
All right, Dr. Evil.
1140
01:18:34,900 --> 01:18:37,650
It’s finally come down to this.
1141
01:18:38,230 --> 01:18:41,860
You, me and a gun.
1142
01:18:44,450 --> 01:18:46,530
What are you going to do now, Austin?
1143
01:18:48,580 --> 01:18:50,200
Dad?
1144
01:18:50,540 --> 01:18:52,950
What are you doing here?
1145
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,080
I’ve gotta finish this off once and for all.
1146
01:18:57,750 --> 01:19:00,300
I’m afraid you can't do that.
1147
01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:02,420
l have to protect my son.
1148
01:19:02,590 --> 01:19:04,590
Dad, I’m fine.
1149
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:06,930
I’m not talking about you.
1150
01:19:07,890 --> 01:19:11,100
I’m talking about him.
1151
01:19:13,980 --> 01:19:15,520
What?
1152
01:19:15,770 --> 01:19:19,110
Dr. Evil's not your son, l am.
1153
01:19:19,570 --> 01:19:21,110
-You both are.
-Huh?!
1154
01:19:23,030 --> 01:19:24,280
What?
1155
01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:29,120
It was our first family holiday together.
1156
01:19:29,620 --> 01:19:31,620
Just as I was finishing a case...
1157
01:19:31,790 --> 01:19:34,950
...your mother brought the two of you
to Belgium.
1158
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:41,460
I stopped to have a tinkle when the car....
1159
01:19:51,810 --> 01:19:56,230
But my parents died in a car accident.
1160
01:19:56,390 --> 01:19:58,480
It was no accident.
1161
01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:01,270
It was an assassination attempt.
1162
01:20:01,440 --> 01:20:03,860
I thought only Austin survived.
1163
01:20:04,030 --> 01:20:06,320
I should have told you the truth earlier...
1164
01:20:06,490 --> 01:20:09,320
...but those Belgians,
they made you so damn...
1165
01:20:09,490 --> 01:20:10,780
...evil.
1166
01:20:11,580 --> 01:20:15,250
And, of course, they share a border
with the Dutch.
1167
01:20:16,500 --> 01:20:20,170
Very interesting story, Mr. Powers.
1168
01:20:20,330 --> 01:20:23,630
Of course, I’m gonna have to wait
until l see all the facts.
1169
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:25,420
Daddy.
1170
01:20:27,510 --> 01:20:29,510
Shh, Daddy's here, Dougie.
1171
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:31,680
-Shh.
-Uh, "Dougie"?
1172
01:20:31,850 --> 01:20:33,760
-Dougie?
-Dougie. Remember, Dougie?
1173
01:20:33,930 --> 01:20:36,100
Dad, what's going on?
1174
01:20:39,850 --> 01:20:41,690
What are you going to do, Austin?
1175
01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:56,830
-Austin.
-Hmm?
1176
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:58,830
Are you sure you can trust Dr. Evil?
1177
01:21:01,130 --> 01:21:03,040
He ain't heavy...
1178
01:21:03,380 --> 01:21:05,550
...he's my brother, baby. Yeah.
1179
01:21:08,550 --> 01:21:11,630
l should have told you this
so long ago, son.
1180
01:21:12,510 --> 01:21:14,010
-I’m very proud of you.
-Unh!
1181
01:21:15,890 --> 01:21:19,520
-Can you forgive me?
-l forgive you, Dad.
1182
01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:27,400
Come on.
1183
01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:31,240
Yes.
1184
01:21:40,750 --> 01:21:42,920
My two sons.
1185
01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:47,090
I’m Dougie. I’m Dougie.
1186
01:21:50,380 --> 01:21:52,050
Come on.
1187
01:21:53,090 --> 01:21:55,260
Oh, there you are.
1188
01:21:59,850 --> 01:22:01,350
Oh, come on.
1189
01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:05,060
l mean, first I’m not evil enough for you.
1190
01:22:05,230 --> 01:22:07,440
And now you're gonna turn good?
1191
01:22:07,610 --> 01:22:09,070
Listen, Scott.
1192
01:22:09,240 --> 01:22:10,860
You can spend your whole life...
1193
01:22:11,030 --> 01:22:14,070
...trying to win your parents' acceptance,
believe me.
1194
01:22:15,030 --> 01:22:18,620
But at the end of the day,
you've just gotta do it for yourself, baby.
1195
01:22:18,790 --> 01:22:20,120
That all I’ve gotta do?
1196
01:22:20,290 --> 01:22:21,450
Hey, Austin? Shh!
1197
01:22:22,290 --> 01:22:23,580
What?
1198
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:25,420
l hate you.
1199
01:22:26,290 --> 01:22:28,630
l hate you. I hate you.
1200
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:32,920
l don't even know you,
but l hate you too.
1201
01:22:33,090 --> 01:22:34,760
And l especially hate you.
1202
01:22:37,810 --> 01:22:39,010
You'll pay.
1203
01:22:39,640 --> 01:22:41,100
You'll all pay.
1204
01:22:45,230 --> 01:22:49,360
I'd like to point out that no one else
in my gene pool runs like a girl.
1205
01:22:49,530 --> 01:22:51,320
Not so fast, smarty-pants.
1206
01:22:52,820 --> 01:22:54,150
Dr. Evil...
1207
01:22:54,320 --> 01:22:59,450
...you might not want to destroy the world,
but l do.
1208
01:23:00,620 --> 01:23:03,410
Preparation H goes ahead as planned.
1209
01:23:03,580 --> 01:23:05,250
I’m going to flood the Earth.
1210
01:23:06,580 --> 01:23:07,750
Think again, Goldmember.
1211
01:23:08,340 --> 01:23:10,670
Ah, Foxxy Cleopatra.
1212
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:15,590
It’s a shame l had to kill your partner.
Too bad for you.
1213
01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:19,680
Too bad for me?
How about too bad for you?
1214
01:23:19,850 --> 01:23:21,350
Oh, no.
1215
01:23:21,520 --> 01:23:25,180
No! No! No!
1216
01:23:25,350 --> 01:23:27,770
No....
1217
01:23:27,940 --> 01:23:29,940
Luckily, I keep a spare.
1218
01:23:37,950 --> 01:23:39,120
Look, everyone.
1219
01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:41,370
My winkie was a key.
1220
01:23:41,540 --> 01:23:43,490
Only a bloody Dutchman.
1221
01:23:43,660 --> 01:23:45,620
-Ha-ha-ha.
-You mine, sucker.
1222
01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:50,040
Yes.
1223
01:23:50,210 --> 01:23:51,880
Foxxy, I’m coming.
1224
01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:55,840
Nobody try anything stupid
or the shooting begins.
1225
01:23:56,010 --> 01:23:59,890
Austin. Take Dougie.
I’ll stay here and be your backup.
1226
01:24:00,050 --> 01:24:05,140
-Dougie, what do we do?
-I’m not a real "hands-on evil genius."
1227
01:24:05,310 --> 01:24:07,560
Think. You were always the smart one.
1228
01:24:07,730 --> 01:24:11,810
Uh, l could reroute the output capacitor
to the tractor beam...
1229
01:24:11,980 --> 01:24:14,530
...from one of the conduit boxes up there.
1230
01:24:14,690 --> 01:24:15,860
Come on, let's go.
1231
01:24:21,740 --> 01:24:24,580
Yes. The shooting begins.
1232
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:29,420
Let me shoot.
1233
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,210
You know, Dr. Evil...
1234
01:24:36,380 --> 01:24:39,260
-...l used to think you were crazy.
-l know.
1235
01:24:39,430 --> 01:24:42,970
But now l can see you're nuts.
l thank you.
1236
01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:45,810
Give me the gun.
1237
01:24:48,770 --> 01:24:50,100
Ow!
1238
01:25:00,530 --> 01:25:02,120
Hurry.
1239
01:25:05,620 --> 01:25:07,830
Father. Father. Father.
-Ow!
1240
01:25:08,460 --> 01:25:10,790
Father, can you hear me?
1241
01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:12,080
Father. Father.
1242
01:25:16,460 --> 01:25:17,630
Wow!
1243
01:25:22,970 --> 01:25:27,310
Well done, Austin.
He saved the world again.
1244
01:25:27,470 --> 01:25:29,430
Hey, yeah.
1245
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:30,730
Thank you.
1246
01:25:30,890 --> 01:25:32,190
Right on.
1247
01:25:32,350 --> 01:25:35,770
-Austin, you did it.
-We did it.
1248
01:25:35,940 --> 01:25:37,980
Yeah, baby.
1249
01:25:39,650 --> 01:25:42,660
No? Just trying it on.
1250
01:25:44,580 --> 01:25:45,910
Goldmember?
1251
01:25:46,490 --> 01:25:47,990
You under arrest, sugar.
1252
01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:53,290
Hey, assholes.
1253
01:25:53,460 --> 01:25:58,000
Do l have time for a last smoke
and a pancake, or what?
1254
01:26:02,130 --> 01:26:06,300
I am from Holland. Isn't that weird?
1255
01:26:08,930 --> 01:26:10,060
Yeah.
1256
01:26:10,230 --> 01:26:12,440
Yes, well done.
1257
01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:14,650
Good on you, man.
1258
01:26:18,690 --> 01:26:19,690
Thank you.
1259
01:26:35,460 --> 01:26:36,460
Yes.
1260
01:26:38,590 --> 01:26:40,460
Hey, Powers.
1261
01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:47,010
Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore.
1262
01:26:47,180 --> 01:26:50,680
l went on the Subway diet.
You know, just like Jared.
1263
01:26:50,850 --> 01:26:53,060
I've lost 180 pounds.
1264
01:26:53,230 --> 01:26:54,810
Congratulations, baby.
1265
01:26:54,980 --> 01:26:58,650
Thank you. l do have a little bit
of excess skin, though.
1266
01:26:58,820 --> 01:27:00,400
Bit of a problem here, yeah.
1267
01:27:00,570 --> 01:27:04,650
And unfortunately,
my neck does look like a vagina.
1268
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:09,200
Austin! Austin!
-Over here.
1269
01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:13,620
Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1270
01:27:13,790 --> 01:27:15,580
Austin, you the boss!
-You all right?
1271
01:27:15,750 --> 01:27:18,170
Loved it!
-Okay.
1272
01:27:18,630 --> 01:27:19,840
Austin...
1273
01:27:20,590 --> 01:27:23,170
...thank you for everything.
1274
01:27:31,470 --> 01:27:32,770
Shazam.
1275
01:27:44,990 --> 01:27:48,410
I’m gonna get you, Austin Powers.
1276
01:28:20,230 --> 01:28:22,190
Well, they're using the same
****ing joke...
1277
01:28:22,360 --> 01:28:26,280
...as they did in the last Austin Powers
film-- Movie-- What was it?
1278
01:28:26,450 --> 01:28:28,110
Well, they're using the-- Well--
1279
01:28:28,280 --> 01:28:31,570
Well, they're using the same joke
that they did-- Oh.
1280
01:28:32,660 --> 01:28:34,700
What do l mean?
-Ha-ha-ha.
1281
01:28:34,870 --> 01:28:37,500
-Boobs, Ozzy.
-Stop, do that again.
1282
01:28:37,660 --> 01:28:39,080
You're starting to laugh.
1283
01:28:40,460 --> 01:28:44,000
Oh, don't start, Kelly,
or I'll put you back in the refrigerator.
1284
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:46,840
One more.
1285
01:28:47,010 --> 01:28:48,720
-l don't like that.
-A little serious.
1286
01:28:48,880 --> 01:28:51,090
Don't make that noise, Sharon.
I’m getting turned on.
1287
01:28:51,260 --> 01:28:53,640
My testosterone is going dancing.
1288
01:28:54,850 --> 01:28:55,850
Get off me.
1289
01:29:00,940 --> 01:29:03,940
Is--? Is it true what they say about you?
1290
01:29:06,990 --> 01:29:09,950
Kickstand. Really?
1291
01:29:10,110 --> 01:29:13,530
Um, can I give you my cell phone number?
1292
01:29:13,700 --> 01:29:14,870
Please?
1293
01:29:17,290 --> 01:29:20,370
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Burt Bacharach.
93137
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