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1
00:01:29,362 --> 00:01:33,362
www.titlovi.com
2
00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:37,454
Oh, shit.
3
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,513
See you, Cal.
4
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:21,001
Sue, no, no, no!
5
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,540
Kill yourself on your own time.
6
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,645
According
to the Art of War by Sun Tzu...
7
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:05,807
...every battle is won and lost
before it is fought.
8
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,919
Well, then I guess
you've already lost.
9
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,589
Oh, that's not very sportsmanlike.
Let's fucking go!
10
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:43,618
Ladies. Hi again.
11
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,587
This is the third time
we've been out.
12
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,282
-I know.
-We're shutting this down.
13
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,156
You don't wanna shut the party down.
You wanna join us.
14
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,629
Why don't you put the guns in
the car and you come on in?
15
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,995
-Hey, Bill.
-Sorry I'm late, buddy.
16
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,034
-Fucking MapQuest.
-I know it, bro.
17
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,934
I'm right with you with that shit.
Look, guys.
18
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:04,543
Is this about earlier? When you first
came, I thought you were strippers?
19
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:08,010
Because that was an accident.
You're just very attractive.
20
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,478
Those uniforms are banging.
21
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:12,982
If we have to come out here again,
it's a $1 000 fine.
22
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,143
-Close it down.
-Okay.
23
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,515
Message received.
24
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,020
It's done. You have my word.
25
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,989
I'm gonna go inside,
get on the mike, shut it down.
26
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,145
I don't understand why you
won't just put it on.
27
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,406
Because I don't
find the notion of mocking...
28
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,345
...the American underclass
as amusing as your friends do...
29
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,180
...and because I don't share
your desperate need to fit in.
30
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:51,255
By not putting the wig on,
you are setting yourself...
31
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,857
...and me apart from my friends...
32
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,824
...which is a controlling
and hostile gesture.
33
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,394
Fine.
34
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:02,528
-Happy now?
-Yes.
35
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,000
-Now I'm Mr. Fun Times.
-I'm very happy. Thank you.
36
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:06,195
I'm going for a smoke.
37
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,932
Good, because
it's a fucking costume party.
38
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:14,278
Do we need to talk
quietly around her?
39
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,881
Oh, no, no, no.
She sleeps through anything.
40
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,449
Yes, you do.
41
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,414
When the babysitter bailed...
42
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,884
...Glenn and I were like, "Fuck it."
We have missed every party.
43
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,047
No way we're missing
the White Trash Bash.
44
00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:28,751
Give it up for Glenn.
Glenn's getting married soon.
45
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,192
I really did it.
46
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,026
What's the deal with your
bachelorette weekend?
47
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:36,566
-Yeah!
-I think it's gonna be...
48
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,601
...more of a bachelorette night.
49
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:42,434
And it's gonna be at
my folks' place in Jersey.
50
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:45,568
Sorry.
51
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,145
-That's gonna be fine.
-That's totally fine.
52
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,576
Has anyone seen Glenn?
53
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,309
Human torpedo!
54
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,624
It's okay. He's a doctor.
55
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,935
Hey, buttheads,
you guys seen Duquez?
56
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,132
-Will you relax with the doughnuts?
-Oh, sweetie, I want to.
57
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,278
I'm trying to push the savoury
and all they want is the sweet.
58
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,673
I promise you no one cares.
59
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,111
Hey. Where the fuck
are the doughnuts?
60
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,608
Except him.
61
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,010
Guess what.
D. Duquez is AWOL.
62
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,621
That is unacceptable.
I gotta have it out with that guy.
63
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,451
Like the doughnut police.
64
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,116
Hey, get off of that thing.
It's Saturday night.
65
00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,786
Well, it's Sunday in Korea, and those
motherfuckers don't stop working.
66
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,195
They make the Japanese
look like Jamaicans.
67
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,495
-ls that the new BlackBerry?
-Yes, it is. Got it at the office.
68
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:47,798
As punishment for not dressing up,
I'm putting this down my pants.
69
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,874
No, no, no.
Just don't do that.
70
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,509
My dick's checking your e-mail.
71
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,338
-I'm sending a text.
-Don't do that.
72
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,311
You have my life in your pants.
You cocksucker.
73
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,449
Hey, you two, get a room
or get a video camera.
74
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,388
-Hello. Excuse me, miss.
-Hi.
75
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,158
My name is Eric. This is my house.
My party, sort of.
76
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,530
You're looking at a bunch of options.
This is the one you want.
77
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,171
This is the finest box of wine
in the county.
78
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:21,499
-Really?
-Yes, delicious.
79
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:25,633
It has absolutely no body and
an amazing cough-syrupy aftertaste.
80
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,040
-Go ahead.
-Cheers.
81
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,046
Don't get it on your skin. All right?
82
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,877
Oh, yeah.
83
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:35,384
-Not bad, right?
-Really good wine.
84
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,588
-Even better bean dip.
-That's not bean dip!
85
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,348
-What?
-I'm kidding.
86
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,356
You knew that. That's awesome.
87
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,654
You're the first person
to eat out of that.
88
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,594
Not many people are thrilled
about eating out of a shitter.
89
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,996
Really? In prison, we used
our crapper as a punchbowl.
90
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,534
Really? No kidding?
91
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:54,195
I have never seen you
at one of these things.
92
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,398
-First time.
-We'll have to change that.
93
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,567
We do these kind of things
all the time.
94
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:02,009
You know, Labor Day. We're gonna
have a big Winter Wonderland party.
95
00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,614
Snow machine.
96
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,875
Gonna be sledding.
Should be interesting.
97
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,883
Give me your information.
98
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,180
-What?
-lnformation?
99
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,549
-Are you kidding me?
-No.
100
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,747
-Really?
-Yes.
101
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,050
Yes, like what?
102
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,558
Like my social security number,
my college GPA?
103
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:18,959
Why don't we start with your
phone number and your shoe size?
104
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,732
-Okay.
-Okay.
105
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,631
-I happen to have a pen.
-Of course you have a pen.
106
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,431
You gotta be ready.
Always be prepared.
107
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:28,733
What?
108
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,899
-On my baby.
-Look at that.
109
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,137
Oh, I'm so jealous of
this baby. I'm so jealous.
110
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,805
Oh, you wanna get out,
I wanna get in there. I'm kidding.
111
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,645
Kelly, local number?
112
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:40,876
Local girl.
113
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,111
-You kidding me?
-Get out.
114
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,755
Size 9 shoe.
115
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,414
You know what they say.
"Big shoe, big uterus."
116
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,758
I'll bring friends. Real sorry.
117
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,454
If you excuse me, I see an old friend
just showed up.
118
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:53,724
I'll talk to you later.
119
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,390
-Okay.
-Nice meeting you.
120
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,001
-Nice to meet you too.
-Hey, fucko.
121
00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:58,659
Excuse me.
122
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,771
I'm really mad, actually.
123
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,931
-What's wrong with this guy?
-Bye, guys.
124
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,440
Daddy's gotta go home.
125
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,874
One more for the road. Shotgun!
126
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,110
-Michael.
-I wasn't ready. Throw another.
127
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,274
-Asshole.
-You're supposed to catch that.
128
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:13,816
Come on, baby, we're going.
129
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,078
-Bye, guys.
-Bye, Katie.
130
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,949
I'm sorry if I got beer
on your baby.
131
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,813
You, you.
Where have you been?
132
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,118
I'm sorry. There was
a mess in the studio.
133
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,194
There was this buzzing undertone...
134
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,796
...that was bending me over
and fucking me in the ass.
135
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,956
Yeah. I'm not seeing any doughnuts.
136
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,125
You specifically said get the glazed.
137
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,635
They didn't have glazed.
I tried. There was jelly.
138
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,104
There was Boston cream.
Jelly, Boston cream.
139
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,142
Eric, I have a whole package
of ginger candies in my bag.
140
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,446
Hi, Willow.
141
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,639
Thank you.
But we're gonna be okay.
142
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,647
I found you a big brown naked!
143
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,718
I can't get it off!
I can't shake it off!
144
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,514
Hey, everybody naked in the pool.
145
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,329
Well, that's a half hour
ahead of schedule.
146
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,827
Yeah! Anybody?
147
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,400
Anybody?
148
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,901
Oh, you all suck. Chickenshit.
149
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,370
Want me to go to Brent's?
Pick up Entenmann's?
150
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,565
Don't worry about it.
151
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:11,642
Now I'm gonna go jump
in that pool...
152
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,745
...because McCrudden
is dying in there alone.
153
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,006
That's what friends do. See,
they don't leave each other hanging.
154
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,515
Where's your patriotism?
155
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:20,709
My man.
156
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,376
I got you.
157
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,518
My fucking BlackBerry.
158
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,541
Dad, what are you doing here?
159
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:58,715
Oh, yeah, I own the place.
Cherie, this is my son, Eric.
160
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,086
-Hi.
-He's told me all about you.
161
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,287
Yeah.
162
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,692
Great party. Thanks for
letting us sleep it off.
163
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,527
No problem.
164
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,731
-lt must have been quite a fiesta.
-Oh, yeah, I guess so.
165
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:15,430
-Did the best I could with the turds.
-I know you did, Bill.
166
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,236
I wish you would have let me
know you were coming out.
167
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,436
Maybe we can throw someone
down on a couch.
168
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,080
We're not staying.
169
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:26,617
I just came out for the day to do
a meet-and-greet with the brokers.
170
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:27,878
Brokers?
171
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,817
You got the message, right?
172
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,922
I saw that you called.
173
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,082
I'm putting the house on the market.
174
00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,153
What? Wait, you're selling
our house?
175
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:41,633
I'm hardly ever
out here anymore.
176
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:44,269
It's time to unload.
177
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,665
But hey, what about me?
178
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:49,934
I'm always out here.
My friends are always out here.
179
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,305
So make me an offer.
180
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,109
Dad, come on.
I don't ask you for anything.
181
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,148
How about this?
We go get breakfast.
182
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,945
We talk over the house situation.
183
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,179
Maybe we all can chip in
for utilities?
184
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:05,289
I'm a little pressed
for time, kiddo.
185
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:09,950
We're gonna go play a quick nine
and then gotta get back.
186
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,824
Cherie's never played before.
187
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,294
I'm so excited.
188
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,956
Dad, this is fucking bullshit.
189
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:18,126
I'll call you next week.
We'll do yoga.
190
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,144
I've said it before
and I'll say it again.
191
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,878
Your dad is a selfish prick.
192
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,021
Smoothie?
193
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:39,214
It's gonna be sad
not coming out here.
194
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:41,825
Me and Willy might not
even be around next summer.
195
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,326
The L.A. thing again?
Are you serious?
196
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,488
You just moved into
that place in Brooklyn.
197
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,895
But Willow's doing really
good with her acting.
198
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,797
She did that Pizza Hut
Latin America commercial.
199
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,170
Her dad is gonna hook me up with
a job at a big law firm.
200
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,538
What about the album?
201
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,703
I'll work on the album
while I'm doing law.
202
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,213
-Yeah? Will you?
-You know what I'm excited about?
203
00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:07,250
Throwing one of these parties
in my one-bedroom apartment.
204
00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,750
That'll be fun, right?
205
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,355
Maybe I can put
the food out on the fire escape.
206
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,355
-Eric.
-The band in the bathroom.
207
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,857
I have to get more outlets.
208
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,325
I'll get a power strip.
Why not? I'll splurge.
209
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,895
-Eric.
-What?
210
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,395
This is a major moment.
211
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:23,091
It's okay to let the hurt in.
212
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,329
To allow yourself to actually
be present in a moment.
213
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,235
Okay, thanks, doc. You really
make the moment more real...
214
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:32,036
...by talking about how real
the moment is in the middle.
215
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:35,203
No, I understand.
You're probably feeling...
216
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,576
...some anger and some
misdirected frustra--
217
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,376
-Feel better now?
-A little bit, yeah.
218
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,181
-Dude, that was awesome.
-Oh, fuck!
219
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,888
What about now?
220
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,184
Oh, much better.
221
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,994
Now I'm in the moment.
222
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,723
I don't understand summer school.
223
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,560
Isn't the point of being a teacher
that you get summers off?
224
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,897
Well, they pay us poop, so,
what am I gonna do, waitress?
225
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:01,539
Oh, my God, the big news.
226
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:04,904
So the principal told me today...
227
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,568
...that the friendship bracelets
that the girls are wearing...
228
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:10,476
...are actually sex bracelets.
229
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,741
What?
230
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,908
I saw something
about that on Oprah.
231
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,247
Girls wear these different
color bracelets...
232
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,255
...and every color represents,
like, a sex thing.
233
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,916
So if you tear off a girl's
blue bracelet...
234
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,925
...that means
she has to give you oral.
235
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,757
-Yup.
-What's a yellow bracelet?
236
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,057
Uh, a hug.
237
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,495
Oh, sweet.
238
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,760
-I know.
-What about purple?
239
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:31,960
Teabagging?
240
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:34,931
Really?
241
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,098
Well, what is teabagging?
242
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,300
Balls in mouth.
243
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:40,104
Oh, no!
244
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,975
Teabagging?
What is with the kids today?
245
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,810
Well, the blowjob
is the new French kiss.
246
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,953
Wow, we really missed
the boat on that one.
247
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,782
I feel like if we had had
sex bracelets back then...
248
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,514
...no one would have
torn mine off.
249
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:54,925
No, no, no, sweetie.
250
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,289
I would have torn off
your BJ bracelet.
251
00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,091
You're just saying that,
but thanks, Eric.
252
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,858
Thanks for letting me blow you.
253
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:04,298
-You're welcome.
-You're a good friend.
254
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,438
Hey, Dody.
255
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,645
Hi. Can I help you?
256
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,476
-Are you Eric?
-Yes.
257
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,642
Hi. We spoke on the phone.
258
00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:23,481
I'm Dody Henderson from
the Henderson Realty Group.
259
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,556
And this is my associate
Kelly Tanner.
260
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,158
-Hi. How are you?
-Hi.
261
00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:30,552
No, thank you.
262
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,821
Lame.
263
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,021
Oh, I shouldn't.
264
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,063
We can't wait
to get your house sold.
265
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,499
We need this place
clean, clean every day.
266
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,139
Water the lawns, skim the pool.
267
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:45,573
You never know when buyers are
gonna stop by to say hi and buy, buy.
268
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,541
Oh, B-U-Y!
269
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,738
Whatever.
270
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:53,851
Oh, and make sure the toilets
are clean enough to eat out of.
271
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,509
Yeah, whatever.
272
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,819
Maybe I should sprinkle some
rose petals on the driveway too.
273
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,549
Just do what you can.
274
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,387
Will do.
275
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:06,728
What are the chances of maybe
selling this sometime after Labor Day?
276
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,024
You wanna sell a summer home
during the summer.
277
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,396
That's kind of the point.
278
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,329
So glad we're in business together.
279
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,237
Om shanti it is.
280
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,375
Vultures.
281
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,076
It's light. It's light.
282
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,380
We should put it up closer.
Like there?
283
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:33,923
Oh, yeah. That'll bring in
all the right clientele.
284
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:46,299
Listen. Have you given any more
thought to the final Labor Day blowout?
285
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,632
I really don't know.
286
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,206
I mean, obviously,
we gotta do something huge.
287
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,640
But what do you do
for a final blowout?
288
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,405
Go out in a blaze of glory.
Heads held high.
289
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,980
-I get it.
-Deserved.
290
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,912
Holy shit. Oh, shit.
Here we go. Bingo.
291
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,915
-What?
-I got the concept right here.
292
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,485
Brown party.
293
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,146
Brown party. Brown party.
294
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,449
Brown clothes, brown food,
brown drink...
295
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,150
...brown clown,
brown balloons...
296
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,659
...Iive music supplied by
Jackson Browne.
297
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,094
I don't know what you're
thinking. Is that good?
298
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,392
It's fucking awful.
299
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:18,161
Take it easy.
I'm just spitballing.
300
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,429
It's not like you're throwing
ideas my way.
301
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,767
-He spells with an E at the end.
-Doesn't matter.
302
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,569
Holy shit. We got a situation here.
303
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,439
Oh, my fucking God.
304
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,843
Dude, she's wearing a sex bracelet.
305
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,346
Holy fuck, she is.
306
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,815
Oh, boy, that's trouble.
307
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,284
It's blue. It's blue.
Sword swallower.
308
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,322
When she reaches out for my cone,
I'm gonna snag that thing...
309
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,618
...and it's deep-throat city
all night long.
310
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,091
No, no, no.
311
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,163
Please don't do that.
Don't. No, stop.
312
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,026
Stop. Stop it.
313
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,693
I bet she unhinges her jaw like
a fucking python swallowing a rat.
314
00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:55,636
Do you guys know what you want?
315
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,867
-Yes, we do.
-Yeah. We got a pretty good idea.
316
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,635
No, ice cream is what we're into.
317
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,379
Do you think a girl like that looks at us
like we're a couple of old dudes?
318
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:09,817
The way we used to look at 30-year-old
guys back in high school and say:
319
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:13,480
"Oh, man, look at that
lame old guy hitting on Sue."
320
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,219
Yeah, probably.
321
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,124
I don't know. Weren't 30-year-old guys
a lot older back then...
322
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,822
...with, like, mustaches and jobs?
323
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,160
-lt certainly seemed like it.
-Yeah.
324
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:25,560
What?
325
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,864
-Fuck, dude, we're getting old.
-Bullshit. Come on.
326
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,372
I got a foot cramp
the other day masturbating.
327
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,511
-What? Doesn't make sense.
-I swear to God. It happened.
328
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:36,842
Do you think that girl and her friends
really have BJ orgy parties?
329
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,175
-lndubitably.
-Really?
330
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,341
Duquez is right.
We got fucking hosed.
331
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,453
Goddang.
332
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:45,353
Hey, what about that?
333
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,548
What about what?
334
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,386
What about that for the final party?
335
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,721
-What?
-An orgy.
336
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,363
-An orgy?
-An orgy.
337
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,021
-You wanna have an orgy?
-Why not?
338
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,860
Get out of town.
It'll never happen.
339
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,262
-Why not?
-Why not?
340
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,528
Because people don't
have orgies, you know?
341
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:01,104
Oh, come on. They used to.
342
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,070
-True.
-Yeah, think about it, dude.
343
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:06,109
An orgy. A good old-fashioned orgy.
344
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:08,945
That is a blaze of glory.
345
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:12,083
Okay. Now you know
I hate naysayers, right?
346
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:13,718
But I'm gonna have to say nay.
347
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,217
-Really?
-Really.
348
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,945
Are you throwing down
the gauntlet?
349
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:19,056
Oops, what's that?
350
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,488
It's on the ground as we speak.
351
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:24,726
We're gonna have an orgy.
352
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,622
We're gonna have an orgy.
353
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,668
Oh, boy. Here we go.
354
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:33,227
Okay, guys,
I've been mulling it over...
355
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,305
...and I have a concept
for the final fiesta.
356
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,236
-All right.
-What is it?
357
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,740
Fiesta.
358
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,902
While this will be
the most spectacular...
359
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:45,243
...and insane party any of us have taken
part of, it's not gonna be a big thing.
360
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,645
It's just gonna be us.
361
00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:51,755
It's gonna be small,
intimate, special.
362
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,653
Oh, I'll make lasagne.
363
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,318
Oh, yeah.
364
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,756
We're gonna have an orgy.
365
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,635
-Who?
-Us.
366
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,599
-Where?
-Right here. Labor Day weekend.
367
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:11,675
Us? A naked sex orgy?
368
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,311
-You're kidding, right?
-No, I'm not. Why not us?
369
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,276
People used to have them
all the time.
370
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:17,608
All the time.
371
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,273
What happened to our generation?
372
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,646
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
373
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,516
-AlDS.
-AlDS.
374
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,282
AlDS hit right when we hit puberty.
375
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:28,483
And it scared the shit
out of all of us.
376
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:32,619
It turned sex into this big,
frightening thing.
377
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,129
He's right.
378
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:37,962
Kids today are freaks,
our parents were freaks...
379
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,694
...we're a bunch of
fucking pussies.
380
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:42,465
-We're the lamest generation.
-This is our chance.
381
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:43,835
Our chance to do it right.
382
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,000
Take back what's
been taken from us.
383
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,510
-lsn't that from Goonies?
-I am paraphrasing Goonies.
384
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,308
Orgy. Orgy.
385
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:55,317
Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.
386
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:57,785
Duquez, come on.
You're into this, right?
387
00:20:57,956 --> 00:21:01,221
What? No.
388
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:04,362
We're all friends.
It would just be too weird.
389
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:06,121
How do you know unless you try?
390
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:12,161
If we all went into this with
an open mind, it could be amazing.
391
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:15,500
In theory, a noble call to arms.
392
00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:20,338
In practice, I cannot
imagine a more awkward...
393
00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,503
...and uncomfortably
terrible evening.
394
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,411
Oh, laugh, laugh,
laugh all you want.
395
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,812
Seriously, don't you get it?
This is it...
396
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:31,012
...the final blowout,
and then the house is gone.
397
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:34,522
People move away. Things change.
398
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:37,093
We need to think outside of the box.
399
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:40,197
And inside the box.
400
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,758
Mike, that's not what I'm going for.
401
00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,232
I'm in.
402
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:46,830
-What?
-What?
403
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:48,029
Are you serious?
404
00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,265
Yes, it worked.
405
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,205
Come on. An orgy?
406
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,708
It's madness.
407
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,907
It's gonna be a fucking blast.
408
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:58,572
-Success!
-Success!
409
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:00,877
Sue's in. Thank you, yes.
410
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:02,077
Here we go. Come on.
411
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,882
I'm gonna go meet Marcus.
Oh, my God.
412
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:07,582
All right, think it over.
Think it-- Everybody, okay.
413
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:09,056
All right, I get it.
414
00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:12,060
It's gonna take a while to come around
on this whole orgy idea.
415
00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:15,529
Right? Here? No, okay.
Very good, but go ahead...
416
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:18,135
...type it in your BlackBerrys,
pencil it in your notebooks.
417
00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:20,601
Orgy. Orgy.
418
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:22,899
Orgy. Orgy.
419
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:26,067
Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.
420
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,642
So, Sue, you think this is how
you're gonna finally sleep with Eric?
421
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:38,756
What? We dated in high school.
422
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,448
Come on, that was ages ago.
423
00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:42,388
You guys never, you know, did it...
424
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,324
...so it's kind of unfinished business.
425
00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:47,829
Yeah, but I've slept with
like a ton of guys since then...
426
00:22:47,999 --> 00:22:50,490
...so this doesn't have
anything to do with it.
427
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:53,432
Fine, but other than
social awkwardness...
428
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:54,765
...give me one reason.
429
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:58,068
Oh, very well. How about
I give you several reasons?
430
00:22:58,243 --> 00:22:59,767
Like, oh, I don't know...
431
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:01,606
...chlamydia, the herp...
432
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:05,614
...gonorrhoea, syphilis, papilloma.
433
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,115
The Steve McQueen movie?
434
00:23:07,285 --> 00:23:10,948
No, that's Papillon.
The virus that causes genital warts.
435
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,281
Why do you think of this stuff?
436
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,450
Don't you remember the article
my mom clipped from The New Yorker?
437
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,459
No.
438
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:22,998
Condoms can't stop it
and it causes cervical cancer.
439
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,033
You don't have a cervix.
440
00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:29,338
I don't know how you could have sex
in front of a room full of people.
441
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:32,636
I mean, I don't even like
to get naked at the spa.
442
00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:35,644
I'm not saying that this is
gonna be easy for me...
443
00:23:35,814 --> 00:23:38,806
...but isn't that what
kind of makes it exciting?
444
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:41,509
I'm not saying that
it wouldn't be fun...
445
00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,654
...but it's an orgy.
446
00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:45,847
What's the point of
losing all this weight...
447
00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,958
...if you're not gonna show off
your new bod?
448
00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:49,889
You haven't even worn
your bikini yet.
449
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:51,494
I still have 5 more pounds.
450
00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:54,496
I think this could help
build your self-esteem.
451
00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:57,226
There's the miracle cure.
I'm gonna start turning my clients...
452
00:23:57,402 --> 00:24:00,064
...onto group sex instead of Zoloft.
453
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,467
We're going to the beach.
At least do that.
454
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,666
It's our last summer.
Let's go to the beach.
455
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:08,335
Shockingly, I'm gonna pass on the
stroll through the tick-infested dunes.
456
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,504
Dude, I've had Lyme disease.
457
00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:13,173
It's not a big deal.
It's antibiotics, boom, done.
458
00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:16,548
You know I have a needle phobia.
Okay? I can't go to the doctor.
459
00:24:16,721 --> 00:24:19,349
The puncturing the veins and the....
460
00:24:19,524 --> 00:24:22,015
Okay, whatever.
Enjoy the great indoors.
461
00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:24,355
-Yeah. Bye.
-Okay.
462
00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:27,862
Hey, Eric. Could you grab some sand
for my ass crack?
463
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:29,557
I'll grab some for your cervix.
464
00:24:31,703 --> 00:24:34,035
Okay. Let's say you dated
four guys in one year...
465
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,197
...right, and you slept with them.
466
00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:38,535
-You'd be cool with that?
-Totally.
467
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:41,736
And how many guys
have you slept with this year?
468
00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:44,538
None.
469
00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:46,081
Or the year before.
470
00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:49,584
So really all you're doing
is sleeping with four guys...
471
00:24:49,754 --> 00:24:52,120
...in, like, a shorter time frame.
472
00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:55,419
I never really thought of it that way.
473
00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:57,619
What do you think?
474
00:24:57,829 --> 00:25:00,923
Insane, idiotic
and self-destructive.
475
00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:05,062
Okay, hypothetically.
476
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:09,071
If I did decide to do it,
but at the last minute...
477
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,368
...I totally freaked out...
478
00:25:11,543 --> 00:25:14,478
...they would let me out, right?
479
00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:16,910
Laura, it's an orgy,
not The Accused.
480
00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:20,142
It's not fun
unless everybody's into it.
481
00:25:22,554 --> 00:25:24,146
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
482
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,586
-I'm gonna do it.
-Yeah? Yeah?
483
00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:28,783
-I'm gonna do it.
-All right. Yeah, girl.
484
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,121
Hey, guys, what's the celebration?
485
00:25:33,098 --> 00:25:35,760
Just talking about how to get Laura
back in the saddle.
486
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,501
I'm gonna find you a guy.
487
00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:41,436
Glenn's cousin Frank
is coming to the wedding.
488
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:44,743
He runs a karate studio
in Hoboken. Pretty cool.
489
00:25:46,444 --> 00:25:48,776
-Okay, Game on. Let's go.
-All right, John Kruk.
490
00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:52,383
I'll tell you what I'm gonna throw,
and you're still gonna whiff at it.
491
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:55,279
Slow breaking curveball.
492
00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:59,480
Goddamn it! I dare you
to throw that again.
493
00:25:59,658 --> 00:26:02,627
Sweet Wiffle, the nerd's revenge.
494
00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,694
I got my bunt face on.
495
00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:07,160
Drills, ladies. Drills.
Let's go. Look alive.
496
00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:08,663
Album cover, hat or no hat?
497
00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:10,801
Oh, Doug, come on, man.
498
00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:12,834
You've been doing this
for two years.
499
00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:15,472
Mixing, remixing.
Hatting, no hatting.
500
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,767
Your music's awesome.
Get it out there.
501
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:20,309
No one will give it a shot
if they don't dig my look.
502
00:26:20,478 --> 00:26:22,639
-It's an image-based industry.
-What the fuck?
503
00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:25,305
This is why you're
headed for a shitty job.
504
00:26:25,483 --> 00:26:28,975
You need to stop trying to look like
a rock star and start living like one.
505
00:26:29,154 --> 00:26:30,553
-Yeah, do the orgy.
-Do the orgy.
506
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,519
You think Mick Jagger
would have said:
507
00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:34,283
"No thanks, mate.
No orgy for me.
508
00:26:34,459 --> 00:26:36,654
I've got an on-again-off-again
girlfriend."
509
00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,523
"l don't wanna cheat
on David Bowie."
510
00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:40,824
-"No cheating on Bowie."
-Hey, Willow.
511
00:26:42,233 --> 00:26:43,894
I know what Tom Hanks
feels like now.
512
00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:46,003
My only concern, Duque...
513
00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:48,503
...is that the hat doesn't
make you look gay enough.
514
00:26:48,673 --> 00:26:49,833
Oh, yeah.
515
00:26:50,008 --> 00:26:52,568
You could Photoshop in three
guys jizzing on your face?
516
00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:55,178
-Or on the hat?
-On the hat--?
517
00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:56,541
-That's good.
-Hey.
518
00:26:56,715 --> 00:26:59,707
You could take that five-song demo,
make it a double album.
519
00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:03,411
-One with the hat, one without it?
-You could call it Exile on Hat Street.
520
00:27:03,588 --> 00:27:07,024
-Yeah, or Jagged Little Hat?
-Oh, Meat Loaf. Hat Outta Hell.
521
00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:10,093
What about Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Hats Club Hat?
522
00:27:10,261 --> 00:27:13,890
What if I just call it
My Shitty Friends Don't Respect Me?
523
00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:17,027
Indie. You won't be able
to sell at Walmart.
524
00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:20,228
-Who's next up to hat?
-Two and two to Harvey Key.
525
00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:23,033
Sandy winds up and delivers.
526
00:27:25,176 --> 00:27:27,337
-Fuck me.
-Hey, Ali Cat.
527
00:27:27,512 --> 00:27:29,070
-Hi.
-Like what you see?
528
00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:31,272
This could be all yours
Labor Day weekend.
529
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,212
Oh, Eric.
530
00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:35,114
Do you mind if
I make an observation?
531
00:27:35,286 --> 00:27:38,255
Oh, boy. Sure, go ahead.
532
00:27:38,423 --> 00:27:40,357
You have intimacy issues.
533
00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:41,719
-Really?
-Yeah.
534
00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:44,225
I figured an orgy is
as intimate as it can get.
535
00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:47,229
No, no, no, but intimacy
isn't about intercourse, Eric.
536
00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:48,696
It's about emotion.
537
00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:51,631
You don't need to get laid.
You need to be in a relationship.
538
00:27:53,371 --> 00:27:55,737
Look, just because
you're in an unhappy relationship...
539
00:27:56,608 --> 00:27:58,405
...doesn't mean
the rest of us need to be.
540
00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:00,407
I'm not in an unhappy relationship.
541
00:28:00,578 --> 00:28:03,445
I'm in an adult relationship.
542
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,583
It's fun, whatever it is.
Hold on one sec?
543
00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:08,776
Hey, Marcus. You want
to take a few cracks with the bat?
544
00:28:08,953 --> 00:28:10,250
No, thank you.
545
00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:13,414
Football is my game,
European football.
546
00:28:13,591 --> 00:28:14,888
Gotcha.
547
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:17,290
Did he date Siegfried or Roy?
I can't remember.
548
00:28:19,931 --> 00:28:22,661
God, it's embarrassing
watching you play this sport.
549
00:28:24,469 --> 00:28:25,595
It's cow shit.
550
00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:28,603
Look, doc, it's your life.
551
00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:30,138
You can do whatever you want.
552
00:28:30,308 --> 00:28:32,606
All I'm saying is that maybe
Labor Day weekend...
553
00:28:32,777 --> 00:28:35,041
...might be the last chopper
out of Saigon for you.
554
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,685
Knock, knock. Guess who.
555
00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:47,654
Dody!
556
00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:50,124
-These are the Webers.
-How you doing?
557
00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:52,493
We brought some extra signs...
558
00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:54,325
...because someone is stealing ours.
559
00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:56,160
That's too bad.
560
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,662
Oh, good. Okay.
Hey, guys. Do me a favor?
561
00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:02,966
When you go in the house, don't go
to the basement or anything.
562
00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:07,305
Not that there's anything or anyone
down there in a cage or otherwise.
563
00:29:07,479 --> 00:29:10,471
Thanks, Eric. That's so helpful.
564
00:29:10,648 --> 00:29:11,808
What is he talking about?
565
00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:14,850
Oh, gosh. Don't worry. Don't worry.
566
00:29:15,019 --> 00:29:18,318
He's a little off.
567
00:29:18,490 --> 00:29:19,718
It's a head injury.
568
00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,984
That's why he wears the helmet.
569
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,651
Are they all challenged?
570
00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:27,798
Yes. But at least
they have each other.
571
00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:31,163
Oh, that's so great.
572
00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:33,861
Have fun with your game, sweetie.
573
00:29:34,038 --> 00:29:35,505
Thanks, Mrs. Weber.
574
00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:40,039
We are five minutes
from lndian Wells Beach.
575
00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:42,406
And wait till you see your bedroom.
576
00:30:20,718 --> 00:30:23,209
What if someone comes in?
These people never knock.
577
00:30:23,388 --> 00:30:25,788
I just locked the door.
578
00:30:25,957 --> 00:30:29,791
Fine, but you really
must be quiet.
579
00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:31,292
None of your usual screeches.
580
00:30:31,462 --> 00:30:33,054
-Okay, okay, okay.
-Yes?
581
00:30:33,231 --> 00:30:35,256
Yeah.
582
00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:39,465
Oh, Marcus.
583
00:30:40,405 --> 00:30:42,896
Let's get you out
of these dirty little panties.
584
00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,042
Do it. What?
585
00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:48,577
What's going on? Why are you
stopping? What's going on? Hey.
586
00:30:48,746 --> 00:30:50,236
What?
587
00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:52,439
What have you done
to your vagina?
588
00:30:54,085 --> 00:30:55,245
I shaved it.
589
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:04,126
-Why?
-I don't know.
590
00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:08,789
Because I thought it would be
something different, sexy.
591
00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:12,562
Women are supposed to have pubic
hair. Why would I find it sexy?
592
00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:14,796
You look like a prepubescent girl.
593
00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:16,338
I'm not a child molester.
594
00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:19,601
Okay, you know what, it's hair, Marcus,
and it's gonna grow back.
595
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:23,175
Well, I wished you
would have told me...
596
00:31:23,348 --> 00:31:25,839
...about your little secret
before I unwrapped this.
597
00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:28,451
This lambskin condoms
cost 2 Euros.
598
00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:30,281
It's wasteful.
599
00:31:31,322 --> 00:31:32,482
I did it for you!
600
00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:34,591
You could have consulted with me.
601
00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:38,126
I don't make you wear deodorant
because you don't want to!
602
00:31:38,296 --> 00:31:41,265
Alison, you're being like a child.
603
00:31:41,432 --> 00:31:43,866
Fuck you, go away!
604
00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:45,969
You go away.
605
00:31:46,137 --> 00:31:47,468
I think this is chemical.
606
00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,470
Darling, what dosage
are you taking?
607
00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:51,802
You-- Fuck you!
608
00:31:51,976 --> 00:31:53,307
This is your problem.
609
00:31:53,478 --> 00:31:56,879
I was just expressing my
sexuality in a healthy manner.
610
00:31:57,048 --> 00:32:00,984
God forbid, Marcus,
that we experiment a little bit.
611
00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:02,380
Fine.
612
00:32:02,553 --> 00:32:06,489
I'm going back to the city
and I'm taking the iPod.
613
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,888
Fine. Leave!
614
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:11,358
And your breath is terrible!
615
00:32:11,529 --> 00:32:14,521
My breath is natural.
Unlike your vagina.
616
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,024
Fuck you!
617
00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:25,566
Jesus.
618
00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:27,535
Sorry.
619
00:32:28,846 --> 00:32:29,870
It's all right.
620
00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:36,085
The worst part is
I'm just peeing right now.
621
00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:53,998
I've been kicking around
a few ideas.
622
00:32:54,172 --> 00:32:56,037
Party themes.
Let me know what you think.
623
00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:59,506
First one, Roman, right?
You're talking togas, wine...
624
00:32:59,677 --> 00:33:01,872
...bushels of grapes, the whole deal.
625
00:33:02,046 --> 00:33:03,911
Then I also have '70s, right?
626
00:33:04,082 --> 00:33:07,540
We got the swinger vibe,
polyester, big hair...
627
00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:10,552
...upstairs and down, you know?
I don't know.
628
00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:13,122
What about the Kama Sutra?
629
00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:14,723
-That's actually not bad.
-Yeah?
630
00:33:14,892 --> 00:33:17,588
Yeah, yeah, like the sex secrets
of the East, right?
631
00:33:17,762 --> 00:33:19,730
Oh, that's-- Yeah.
632
00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:23,697
You know you have like
incense, tapestries.
633
00:33:23,868 --> 00:33:26,359
-Veils, diaphanous fabrics.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
634
00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:29,267
I have no idea what the hell
that is, but I like it.
635
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,601
You and me, we're on the
same page with this.
636
00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:34,108
-Right? I think so.
-Absolutely.
637
00:33:34,278 --> 00:33:36,439
-How do you spell "Kama"?
-Yeah.
638
00:33:36,614 --> 00:33:38,081
Dude, babe alert at 3 o'clock.
639
00:33:38,249 --> 00:33:40,080
Three o'clock. My 3, my 3.
640
00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:46,416
-Wait.
-That hurts my dink.
641
00:33:46,591 --> 00:33:47,922
Wait a minute. That's Kelly.
642
00:33:48,092 --> 00:33:50,560
-Who?
-My Realtor.
643
00:33:50,728 --> 00:33:52,286
Oh, shit, the enemy.
644
00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:54,659
Listen to me. Listen.
645
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,767
We cannot afford to lose the
casa de sex before Labor Day, okay?
646
00:33:57,935 --> 00:34:00,836
You go over there, you get in
tight with her, lay on the charm...
647
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:02,939
...and get her to drag ass
selling the house.
648
00:34:03,107 --> 00:34:04,438
-No, no, that is--
-Yes, yes.
649
00:34:04,609 --> 00:34:06,907
She is a tough cookie.
She'll see through that.
650
00:34:07,078 --> 00:34:09,012
Her? Please, dude, you're the king.
651
00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:12,479
A little winey-diney, she'll be
your humble wench servant.
652
00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:15,442
Keep friends close,
but enemies closer.
653
00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:18,885
Yeah. That doesn't make any sense.
Just go fucking charm her, okay?
654
00:34:19,257 --> 00:34:20,622
-Okay.
-Go, go, go.
655
00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:22,020
-All right.
-Do the thing.
656
00:34:22,193 --> 00:34:25,458
-What?
-The smile thing.
657
00:34:26,464 --> 00:34:29,627
-Kelly. Kelly. Hi.
-Oh, Eric.
658
00:34:29,801 --> 00:34:31,166
-Hey.
-Hey.
659
00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:33,030
Oh, my God, look at this. Watch.
660
00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:36,264
I hope anything I said didn't
screw anything up with the client.
661
00:34:36,441 --> 00:34:38,534
I was joking around.
I didn't freak them out?
662
00:34:38,709 --> 00:34:40,370
-Oh, no. Not at all.
-Oh, good.
663
00:34:40,545 --> 00:34:43,275
You were wearing that helmet
so I was able to convince them...
664
00:34:43,448 --> 00:34:46,315
...that, you know,
you ride the short bus.
665
00:34:46,484 --> 00:34:48,145
Well, that's good.
666
00:34:48,319 --> 00:34:49,684
-Yeah. Thanks.
-Well played.
667
00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:52,186
Hey, do you mind if--?
Maybe I can make up to you.
668
00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:54,153
Take you out to dinner
or something?
669
00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:56,190
-Could be fun, yeah?
-Oh, gosh, thanks.
670
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,490
Technically, I'm not supposed to
go out with clients so....
671
00:35:00,665 --> 00:35:03,566
Well, technically
my dad's the client.
672
00:35:03,734 --> 00:35:06,567
Right now I'm just some
random dude on the beach.
673
00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:09,228
She's smiling.
Look, she's smiling. She's buying it.
674
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,738
Okay. I'll go to dinner with you.
675
00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:13,001
All right.
676
00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:15,338
But tell me which party
we met at.
677
00:35:15,513 --> 00:35:17,674
Was it one of my parties?
678
00:35:17,849 --> 00:35:19,476
Okay. What...?
679
00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:22,016
Oh, was it the
Cuba Libre party because...
680
00:35:22,186 --> 00:35:24,381
...I was in mojito haze
that whole day and I just--
681
00:35:24,555 --> 00:35:25,920
-Nope.
-No.
682
00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:27,421
Oktoberfest in July?
683
00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:29,526
-Nope.
-Oh, oh, no, no, I know.
684
00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,752
I know.
685
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:34,193
It was the Star Trek versus Star Wars
Battle for the Universe Party...
686
00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:37,198
...and you were dressed as
Obi-Wan Kenobi.
687
00:35:37,368 --> 00:35:39,700
How drunk do you get
at these parties?
688
00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:42,704
Pretty drunk.
It's kind of a social obligation.
689
00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:45,434
Okay. I'm gonna give you a hint.
690
00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:47,202
I wear a size 9 shoe.
691
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:50,675
Oh, my God.
692
00:35:50,848 --> 00:35:52,873
Oh, my God,
you're bean dip girl.
693
00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:55,018
-You're bean dip girl?
-I am.
694
00:35:55,186 --> 00:35:57,279
Have you been bean dip girl
the whole time?
695
00:35:57,488 --> 00:35:59,615
Oh, he's so good.
696
00:35:59,790 --> 00:36:01,883
I can't believe that.
I was gonna call you.
697
00:36:02,059 --> 00:36:03,390
I had your number on my hand...
698
00:36:03,561 --> 00:36:05,426
...and I jumped in the pool
and it was gone.
699
00:36:05,596 --> 00:36:08,087
I thought I lost you.
I thought you were gone forever.
700
00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:09,460
And you--
701
00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:11,795
You look so much better
without the fake baby.
702
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,561
I actually prefer the mullet.
703
00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,069
Oh, I just cut it yesterday.
704
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:16,433
For work.
705
00:36:16,607 --> 00:36:19,599
Don't think this whole funny,
charming thing right now...
706
00:36:19,777 --> 00:36:21,574
...gets you off
for stealing my signs.
707
00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:23,873
I don't know
what you're talking about.
708
00:36:24,048 --> 00:36:25,948
I'm furious those signs are gone.
709
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:27,584
-You're lying.
-I'm not lying.
710
00:36:27,752 --> 00:36:29,413
-Your voice just went up.
-What?
711
00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:31,418
I-- I'm--
712
00:36:31,589 --> 00:36:33,921
I'm not lying. I am not lying.
713
00:36:34,091 --> 00:36:35,490
-You're so lying.
-No, I'm not.
714
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:37,560
Fucking James Bond. Fuck.
715
00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:41,956
Wow, look at that, huh?
716
00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:45,261
Holy smokes.
Another gorgeous shot.
717
00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:46,596
Yeah, thanks.
718
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:50,767
What should I use,
pitching wedge or nine?
719
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:53,035
I used the nine.
720
00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:55,675
I think maybe
I should use the wedge.
721
00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:57,279
Or use the wedge.
722
00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:02,583
Why am I like this?
723
00:37:02,753 --> 00:37:05,950
Oh, just pick a club and hit it.
What is the big deal?
724
00:37:07,091 --> 00:37:08,820
Will you do the orgy with me?
725
00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:11,851
Hey, can we play through?
726
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,121
Hold on a second, man.
727
00:37:16,634 --> 00:37:17,828
The orgy.
728
00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:20,129
You think that would be
a good idea?
729
00:37:21,505 --> 00:37:23,996
I'm stuck. And I think the reason...
730
00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:26,473
...is because
I feel like a fucking fraud.
731
00:37:26,644 --> 00:37:30,045
I'm not cool.
I have a law degree.
732
00:37:30,214 --> 00:37:33,650
I ride a motorcycle and it scares
the fucking shit out of me.
733
00:37:33,818 --> 00:37:36,218
And I play golf at my mom's
fucking country club...
734
00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:38,546
...with assholes like this.
735
00:37:38,723 --> 00:37:41,385
What's the holdup?
Play the wedge!
736
00:37:41,892 --> 00:37:44,019
This is not rock 'n' roll.
737
00:37:45,396 --> 00:37:47,830
This could be really good for me.
738
00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:49,990
For me and for us.
739
00:37:50,668 --> 00:37:52,863
Will you do the orgy with me?
740
00:37:55,706 --> 00:37:57,833
Sure, yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah.
741
00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:00,173
Really?
742
00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:03,410
-Holy shit.
-Yeah.
743
00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:08,175
If you're sure this is what you want.
744
00:38:08,352 --> 00:38:11,014
Yeah, absolutely.
745
00:38:11,188 --> 00:38:13,349
-Good.
-I think.
746
00:38:13,524 --> 00:38:15,660
Fore!
747
00:38:23,267 --> 00:38:25,701
So you wanna know why
guys don't get as excited...
748
00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:28,361
...about their wedding
as women do?
749
00:38:28,539 --> 00:38:32,031
See, it used to be like a guy would get
rewarded for his commitment with sex.
750
00:38:32,209 --> 00:38:34,871
But you and Glenn have
had sex like a billion times.
751
00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:37,378
For God's sake,
you guys have a kid together.
752
00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:43,077
So for Glenn, it's just kind of like
all commitment, no reward.
753
00:38:43,254 --> 00:38:44,721
You know?
754
00:38:45,356 --> 00:38:47,381
I'm the fucking reward.
755
00:38:47,558 --> 00:38:49,719
-Of course you are.
-Of course.
756
00:38:49,894 --> 00:38:51,418
-No.
-Hello?
757
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,256
Something's wrong. He's never late.
758
00:38:54,432 --> 00:38:56,457
-Try him again.
-I have been trying him.
759
00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:58,066
He's not answering his phone.
760
00:38:58,235 --> 00:39:00,795
At least he won't wear a white tuxedo
like you dickheads.
761
00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:03,597
Oh, God, that's good.
762
00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:08,576
Oh, sweet Lord in heaven.
763
00:39:08,746 --> 00:39:10,373
What the fuck, are you stoned?
764
00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:12,743
No. No, no, no, better.
765
00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:15,545
I'm wearing a thing called
The Yank. From Adam & Eve.
766
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:18,587
One end straps around your leg,
the other end around your wang.
767
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:22,715
The brochure says, "With every stride,
it gives your member a gentle tug."
768
00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:26,928
What are you doing with a rope
on your cock at my wedding?
769
00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:28,998
Endurance training, Labor Day.
770
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,101
For what? A jack-off marathon?
771
00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:34,998
What? Yeah.
772
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:37,834
That's exactly it. You nailed it.
773
00:39:38,008 --> 00:39:39,669
Hey, check it out.
Look who's here.
774
00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:42,642
Oh, fantastic.
Another asshole in white tails.
775
00:39:42,813 --> 00:39:45,111
Keep the change, man.
776
00:39:46,250 --> 00:39:47,945
Oh, my God.
777
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,787
Well, well, well. Look at you.
778
00:39:50,955 --> 00:39:54,482
You're late, you're in costume,
and you appear to be hammered.
779
00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:55,818
Who the hell are you?
780
00:39:55,993 --> 00:39:58,120
Long story. I got fired.
781
00:39:58,295 --> 00:39:59,455
-What?
-What?
782
00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:03,122
It had more to do with the fact that l
almost blew a $2 billion merger deal...
783
00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:06,292
...because some bozo jumped into
the pool with my BlackBerry.
784
00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:08,331
Oh, shit. Dude.
785
00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:10,633
I spent most of last night
crying and drinking...
786
00:40:10,808 --> 00:40:14,642
...and then I drunk-dialed my mom.
She kind of talked me down.
787
00:40:14,812 --> 00:40:16,473
Then I woke up this morning...
788
00:40:16,647 --> 00:40:19,810
...had a little more to drink
and I realized, you know what?
789
00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,009
This is good. I'm free.
790
00:40:22,186 --> 00:40:23,483
Adam, I'm so sorry.
791
00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,656
You're my friend.
No, they took my twenties from me.
792
00:40:27,825 --> 00:40:30,851
And I plan to make my thirties
making up for it.
793
00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:32,655
And you know what else?
794
00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:35,390
I'm doing the orgy. Fuck it.
795
00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:36,990
Orgy?
796
00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:38,726
What orgy?
797
00:40:38,903 --> 00:40:40,530
The fuck are you talking about?
798
00:40:40,704 --> 00:40:43,400
See, this is exactly why
we should have told him, Eric.
799
00:40:43,574 --> 00:40:44,871
Told me what?
800
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,169
That's what we're doing
for Labor Day. An orgy.
801
00:40:47,344 --> 00:40:49,904
Bullshit. Who's having an orgy?
802
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,378
It's me, Willow, these two fellas...
803
00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:54,882
...Laura, Sue, now drunkie.
804
00:40:55,052 --> 00:40:56,178
Waiting on Alison.
805
00:40:56,353 --> 00:40:58,321
Jesus H. Fucking Christ.
806
00:40:58,489 --> 00:41:01,390
How come you cocksuckers
didn't think of this fucking orgy idea...
807
00:41:01,559 --> 00:41:04,892
...five fucking years ago?
Goddamn it!
808
00:41:05,196 --> 00:41:06,220
Glenn.
809
00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:08,888
I'm afraid we're gonna have
to start without your friend.
810
00:41:09,066 --> 00:41:10,294
Oh, he's here. He's....
811
00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:12,397
-Hi, Rabbi.
-No.
812
00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:14,402
Pardon my French.
813
00:41:18,676 --> 00:41:19,836
All right, everybody.
814
00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:22,501
Introducing for the very first time...
815
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,080
...Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Pasillio.
816
00:41:26,584 --> 00:41:29,610
-Paciello.
-Paciellio.
817
00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,186
Here we go.
818
00:41:39,063 --> 00:41:40,223
I am married.
819
00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:43,924
Thank you.
820
00:41:45,736 --> 00:41:48,569
I can't believe you guys
broke up because you shaved.
821
00:41:48,739 --> 00:41:50,639
He's the weirdest,
creepiest guy ever.
822
00:41:50,841 --> 00:41:52,468
Here you are, ladies.
823
00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:55,077
You guys are definitely
broken up this time, right?
824
00:41:58,415 --> 00:41:59,780
Fuck relationships.
825
00:41:59,950 --> 00:42:03,750
Right now, all I wanna
do is have some fun.
826
00:42:29,914 --> 00:42:31,745
Labor Day.
827
00:42:32,583 --> 00:42:33,607
I'm in.
828
00:42:33,784 --> 00:42:35,615
Yes. Yes.
829
00:42:35,786 --> 00:42:37,447
Oh, and I'm fully shaved.
830
00:42:39,290 --> 00:42:41,121
-Alison.
-Oh, no, no, no.
831
00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:43,283
I'm not making a speech.
832
00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:46,623
Sorry about that.
It's a private conversation.
833
00:42:48,032 --> 00:42:49,659
Are you okay?
834
00:42:49,833 --> 00:42:51,767
You know what they're
doing over Labor Day?
835
00:42:51,936 --> 00:42:54,530
-Do you know what the party is?
-What?
836
00:42:54,705 --> 00:42:57,139
They're having a fucking orgy.
837
00:42:58,676 --> 00:43:02,203
-What are you talking about?
-They are having an orgy.
838
00:43:03,047 --> 00:43:04,173
Like a sex orgy?
839
00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:06,475
Like a sex orgy
and we're not invited.
840
00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:11,686
Hey. Hi.
841
00:43:11,855 --> 00:43:13,220
So is it true?
842
00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:15,619
That all of you
are having this orgy...
843
00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:17,658
...and you didn't think
to invite us?
844
00:43:19,830 --> 00:43:22,697
What are you all
looking at me for? I--
845
00:43:22,866 --> 00:43:25,391
Guys, you just got married, okay?
846
00:43:25,569 --> 00:43:27,537
I-- You have a kid. You don't--
847
00:43:27,705 --> 00:43:30,003
Don't you think
it's a little inappropriate?
848
00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:31,835
Well, of course we wouldn't come.
849
00:43:32,009 --> 00:43:34,842
It's that you didn't ask us.
You didn't even think of us.
850
00:43:35,012 --> 00:43:37,412
In fact, you specifically
hid this from us.
851
00:43:37,581 --> 00:43:39,549
We invited all you
to be here today...
852
00:43:39,717 --> 00:43:42,049
...just the most special
day of our lives...
853
00:43:42,219 --> 00:43:46,087
...and you, who are supposed
to be our closest friends.
854
00:43:46,256 --> 00:43:49,350
There were family members who didn't
get invited so you could come.
855
00:43:49,526 --> 00:43:50,686
-Family members.
-Right.
856
00:43:51,528 --> 00:43:55,259
Now, we're just totally out of your
pervy little social club.
857
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:57,526
I don't believe this.
858
00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:06,202
-Sorry.
-Are you happy?
859
00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:11,212
Because you and your stupid orgy
just ruined our goddamn wedding.
860
00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,407
-Oh, come on, Glenn.
-Kate!
861
00:44:13,717 --> 00:44:16,208
-ls it too late to invite them?
-I'll go talk to her.
862
00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:17,411
No!
863
00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:19,522
-Are you kidding me?
-Guys, it's Katie.
864
00:44:19,690 --> 00:44:21,282
She's gonna be fine in like an hour.
865
00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:23,221
I just realized I'm really hammered...
866
00:44:23,394 --> 00:44:25,453
...and I would really like to dance.
867
00:44:25,629 --> 00:44:26,960
I'm dancing too.
868
00:44:27,131 --> 00:44:29,929
This reminds me of our senior prom.
869
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,091
You still won't give me
a hand job, right?
870
00:44:45,816 --> 00:44:47,078
Oh, God.
871
00:44:53,090 --> 00:44:56,719
It's amazing that you're still so tight
with your high school friends.
872
00:44:56,894 --> 00:44:58,759
None of mine moved
back after college.
873
00:44:58,929 --> 00:45:01,762
Yeah, it's a.... I don't know,
it's maybe corny to say...
874
00:45:01,932 --> 00:45:03,797
...but these guys and gals
are kind of like...
875
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,458
...the closest thing I've got
to a family these days.
876
00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:09,765
That's why the house, the summer
house, it's like our rec center.
877
00:45:10,274 --> 00:45:12,606
I think we're getting an offer
on the rec center.
878
00:45:13,977 --> 00:45:15,239
My dad will be thrilled.
879
00:45:15,412 --> 00:45:16,777
-I knew it.
-What?
880
00:45:16,947 --> 00:45:19,347
I knew it wasn't a family
decision to sell the house.
881
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,815
No. We're not big into
family decisions anymore.
882
00:45:22,986 --> 00:45:25,250
My mom,
she lives in Portland, Oregon...
883
00:45:25,422 --> 00:45:28,516
...with this Reiki healer asshole.
884
00:45:28,692 --> 00:45:31,320
-Tell me exactly how you feel.
-Oh, he's good. He's good.
885
00:45:31,495 --> 00:45:34,089
No, she's kind of out of the picture.
886
00:45:34,264 --> 00:45:36,824
Her doing. Yeah,
it's just me and my dad.
887
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,594
Well, your dad
seems like a fun guy.
888
00:45:39,770 --> 00:45:40,794
Yeah?
889
00:45:40,971 --> 00:45:42,996
Yeah, yeah, he's very fun.
He's a hoot.
890
00:45:43,173 --> 00:45:45,971
Kind of like being raised
by an older fraternity brother.
891
00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:48,668
-He hit on me a little bit.
-No.
892
00:45:48,846 --> 00:45:50,973
-He ask you to play golf?
-Yes.
893
00:45:51,148 --> 00:45:53,480
That's his move.
He's very good at golf. Very good.
894
00:45:53,650 --> 00:45:56,813
But he did it right in front of Cherie
and she had no idea.
895
00:45:56,987 --> 00:45:58,511
Neither did my mom for a while.
896
00:45:58,889 --> 00:46:00,823
Now if you will excuse me...
897
00:46:00,991 --> 00:46:02,891
...I have to win this game
if you don't mind.
898
00:46:03,093 --> 00:46:05,789
-Does this make you...?
-It's a little distracting.
899
00:46:05,963 --> 00:46:07,897
-That's not distracting at all.
-Jesus.
900
00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:10,396
I lied. It was a little distracting.
901
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,769
Help.
902
00:46:19,176 --> 00:46:22,873
Yeah. What do you think this is,
an underground sex club?
903
00:46:23,547 --> 00:46:25,174
Do you have any idea
where you're going?
904
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,374
He said come in through
the warehouse entrance.
905
00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:28,711
You got rubbers on you?
906
00:46:28,886 --> 00:46:29,910
-No.
-What?
907
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,054
We are here to observe. That is all.
908
00:46:32,222 --> 00:46:34,315
It's a sex club.
Semper fi. Always prepared.
909
00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:37,255
-You know what I mean?
-Doesn't that mean "always faithful"?
910
00:46:37,427 --> 00:46:39,520
Hey, who took Latin
in seventh grade?
911
00:46:39,696 --> 00:46:42,927
Moi, okay? I brought a pack with me
if you need one.
912
00:46:43,133 --> 00:46:44,930
-Give me the signal.
-I won't need one.
913
00:46:45,135 --> 00:46:47,160
-Altoid?
-Yeah.
914
00:46:50,774 --> 00:46:51,832
What do you want?
915
00:46:52,009 --> 00:46:54,170
The password is chandelier.
916
00:46:56,847 --> 00:46:57,871
Who's your connection?
917
00:46:58,048 --> 00:47:01,108
-Vic George, friend of my uncle's.
-Yeah. He told me to expect you.
918
00:47:01,285 --> 00:47:02,377
Come on in.
919
00:47:06,924 --> 00:47:09,757
So welcome to the Paradiso.
920
00:47:14,031 --> 00:47:15,055
What the fuck?
921
00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:17,032
-Can I take your clothes?
-No.
922
00:47:17,201 --> 00:47:18,429
-You sure?
-Yeah, I'm sure.
923
00:47:18,602 --> 00:47:19,728
-Okay, follow me.
-Yeah.
924
00:47:19,903 --> 00:47:22,064
-This is Bill.
-Hey, Bill.
925
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:23,934
That was a panda.
926
00:47:24,107 --> 00:47:25,199
Go easy on that thing.
927
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:27,400
Didi, Ginger.
928
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,236
Clambake.
929
00:47:29,413 --> 00:47:31,643
-Good look at that. That's pretty cool.
-Yeah.
930
00:47:31,815 --> 00:47:34,807
This group right here.
They're crazy, crazy, crazy.
931
00:47:35,385 --> 00:47:39,378
Okay. If you guys get a shot,
get in the swing. You will love it.
932
00:47:39,556 --> 00:47:41,285
My grandma has that thing.
933
00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:43,050
Another time, probably.
934
00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:44,956
You need anything,
just ask for Fred.
935
00:47:45,128 --> 00:47:47,153
-Oh, Fred's Beds?
-That's a different Fred.
936
00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,389
I'm a dentist.
937
00:47:48,565 --> 00:47:51,659
Vic, he is over there
in the futon section. All right?
938
00:47:51,835 --> 00:47:52,995
-Okay.
-Have a good time.
939
00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:54,227
Thanks, Dr. Fred.
940
00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:55,496
You guys be good.
941
00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:58,436
Should've had
this guy at the wedding.
942
00:47:58,775 --> 00:48:00,834
Love the new Price is Right.
943
00:48:08,485 --> 00:48:10,248
What are you doing?
944
00:48:12,356 --> 00:48:14,153
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, fuck.
945
00:48:14,324 --> 00:48:15,655
Vic?
946
00:48:15,826 --> 00:48:18,090
-Hey, Mikey.
-Hey.
947
00:48:18,262 --> 00:48:19,695
Little McCrudden.
948
00:48:19,863 --> 00:48:22,627
-Holy shit, you've grown.
-Yeah.
949
00:48:22,799 --> 00:48:24,460
-How you doing, baby?
-Good, good.
950
00:48:25,302 --> 00:48:27,463
-How's your folks?
-Good, they're on a cruise.
951
00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:29,503
Mom got her pound cake
recipe published.
952
00:48:29,673 --> 00:48:32,039
This is my buddy Eric. Eric, Vic.
953
00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:33,971
Your mom's a good woman.
954
00:48:34,845 --> 00:48:36,107
Oh, how you doing, man?
955
00:48:37,147 --> 00:48:39,047
Yeah. Good to meet you.
956
00:48:39,249 --> 00:48:40,273
This is Ellen.
957
00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:41,474
-Ellen.
-Hi, guys.
958
00:48:41,652 --> 00:48:43,051
-Hi.
-Eric and Mikey.
959
00:48:43,253 --> 00:48:44,845
It's Mike. I go by Mike now.
960
00:48:45,022 --> 00:48:46,683
First time at the Paradiso, guys?
961
00:48:48,258 --> 00:48:50,055
Got a couple of cherries to pop.
962
00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:52,820
Come on, guys, take off the clothes
and get fucking.
963
00:48:52,996 --> 00:48:56,397
No. No fucking. No. Actually, no, no.
We're here more doing research...
964
00:48:56,566 --> 00:48:58,693
...than anything else.
We're gonna throw an orgy.
965
00:48:58,869 --> 00:49:01,201
We were hoping we can
get a little advice.
966
00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:03,999
I see. Let's powwow
over at the snack nook.
967
00:49:04,174 --> 00:49:05,766
-Snack nook is good.
-Snack nook.
968
00:49:06,009 --> 00:49:07,340
Just let me finish up here.
969
00:49:07,511 --> 00:49:09,035
-No rush.
-Rush if you want.
970
00:49:09,212 --> 00:49:10,873
Rush a little.
971
00:49:11,048 --> 00:49:14,074
Come on, cowboy. Time to shine.
972
00:49:15,152 --> 00:49:17,677
Yeah. Almost. Let's keep going,
just a second.
973
00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:19,412
I'll be right there, just a second.
974
00:49:19,589 --> 00:49:20,817
There we go.
975
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,421
Look at me, not her.
976
00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:29,590
-Look at me, not her. Look at me.
-I'm not gonna look at him.
977
00:49:31,601 --> 00:49:34,934
Did your brother finish college?
I know he switched a couple schools.
978
00:49:35,105 --> 00:49:36,163
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
979
00:49:37,741 --> 00:49:39,333
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
980
00:49:39,509 --> 00:49:41,807
Do me a favor, count me down.
981
00:49:42,512 --> 00:49:45,037
Five, four, three--
982
00:49:45,215 --> 00:49:47,547
-Go back to 1 0!
-Ten, nine, eight--
983
00:49:48,518 --> 00:49:51,112
Your mom's a good woman.
984
00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:53,250
A little early on that one.
985
00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:59,921
He just said your mom's a good woman
when he ejaculated...
986
00:50:00,097 --> 00:50:01,121
...just so you know.
987
00:50:05,702 --> 00:50:08,364
Holy shit, I got a second one.
988
00:50:08,605 --> 00:50:10,232
Holy shit.
989
00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:20,778
So you kids are gonna have an orgy?
990
00:50:26,156 --> 00:50:29,592
So, Vic, as someone that's clearly done
this type of thing...
991
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:33,287
...thousands of times, I'm guessing,
we could really use your expertise.
992
00:50:33,463 --> 00:50:36,159
How do we make sure
that the women are into it?
993
00:50:36,366 --> 00:50:37,924
-The women?
-Yeah.
994
00:50:38,101 --> 00:50:40,661
Don't worry about the women,
worry about you guys.
995
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,305
Us? What?
996
00:50:43,473 --> 00:50:45,907
Women are in touch
with their sexuality.
997
00:50:46,076 --> 00:50:50,376
Guys are much more likely to freak out
at the sight of someone else's junk.
998
00:50:51,081 --> 00:50:52,378
Taquito?
999
00:50:55,652 --> 00:50:57,847
No, thanks. I ate just before I came.
1000
00:50:58,021 --> 00:51:01,787
You see? This is what I'm talking
about. You're scared shitless.
1001
00:51:01,958 --> 00:51:04,017
You won't even touch the taquito.
1002
00:51:04,194 --> 00:51:07,686
It's like it's a cock and you're afraid
to put it in your mouth.
1003
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:11,095
I swear to God, I had a bacon
cheeseburger, like 45 minutes ago.
1004
00:51:13,303 --> 00:51:15,100
-Hi.
-Hi.
1005
00:51:15,272 --> 00:51:17,706
Okay, so how
do we make it happen?
1006
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,376
You can't make an orgy happen.
1007
00:51:20,544 --> 00:51:22,375
It has to evolve organically.
1008
00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:25,014
Just because you have a bunch
of naked people in the room...
1009
00:51:25,182 --> 00:51:27,013
...doesn't mean
you're all going to get it on.
1010
00:51:27,184 --> 00:51:29,778
You might just need a really
intense conversation.
1011
00:51:29,953 --> 00:51:32,547
Sometimes a girl just
wants to have a heart-to-heart...
1012
00:51:32,722 --> 00:51:34,417
...and she ends up pulling a train.
1013
00:51:34,825 --> 00:51:36,725
Pulling a train?
1014
00:51:37,294 --> 00:51:38,784
Yeah, you know. A train.
1015
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:45,530
That's a choo-choo train. Thank you.
1016
00:51:45,702 --> 00:51:47,636
Hey. Ellen, hello.
1017
00:51:47,971 --> 00:51:49,836
-Vic.
-Two-minute warning.
1018
00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,573
I'm ready whenever you are.
1019
00:51:52,676 --> 00:51:54,644
She always is.
1020
00:51:55,579 --> 00:51:57,069
-One more thing.
-Yes.
1021
00:51:57,247 --> 00:51:59,841
Every wolf pack has a leader.
I take it you're the lead wolf?
1022
00:52:00,016 --> 00:52:03,383
-Fucking A.
-Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.
1023
00:52:03,553 --> 00:52:06,078
Well, then it's all on your shoulders.
1024
00:52:06,256 --> 00:52:09,748
If you don't run,
nobody behind you can run.
1025
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,690
-Oh, that's good.
-What does that mean? What do I do?
1026
00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:15,161
You have to get naked.
1027
00:52:16,199 --> 00:52:18,030
Okay.
1028
00:52:18,568 --> 00:52:20,092
I get that.
1029
00:52:20,270 --> 00:52:22,568
Not just your body.
1030
00:52:22,906 --> 00:52:28,173
You've gotta get naked in your mind,
in your heart, in your soul.
1031
00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:30,836
You've gotta be honest
with yourself and everybody...
1032
00:52:31,014 --> 00:52:35,007
...about what you want. If you're
a pegger, be honest about that.
1033
00:52:35,185 --> 00:52:36,675
-Okay.
-lf you're polyamorous...
1034
00:52:36,853 --> 00:52:37,877
...put it out there.
1035
00:52:38,054 --> 00:52:40,215
You want to put on a diaper,
embrace it.
1036
00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:43,416
But trust me, if you put up walls,
everybody's gonna put up walls.
1037
00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:45,356
The whole thing is dead in the water.
1038
00:52:45,529 --> 00:52:47,121
What is a pegger?
1039
00:52:47,297 --> 00:52:49,288
Chick fucks a dude up the ass
with a strap-on.
1040
00:52:49,799 --> 00:52:53,633
Yeah, not really my bag,
but like I always say...
1041
00:52:53,803 --> 00:52:56,431
...I'm willing to try anything twice.
1042
00:52:57,507 --> 00:52:58,599
I always say it.
1043
00:53:00,377 --> 00:53:01,435
Hey, guys. Hey!
1044
00:53:01,945 --> 00:53:04,277
Hello, senator. Hello.
1045
00:53:05,715 --> 00:53:08,309
This is a lot to process.
1046
00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:09,883
You listen to me.
1047
00:53:10,287 --> 00:53:14,155
You can't force it
and you can't fake it.
1048
00:53:14,324 --> 00:53:16,485
So you better cut the bullshit...
1049
00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:20,096
...nut up, and be a man.
1050
00:53:21,898 --> 00:53:23,388
Now if you'll excuse me...
1051
00:53:23,567 --> 00:53:25,762
...I feel the blood
rushing back to my sword.
1052
00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,733
I noticed that.
1053
00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:31,471
Well, hey, Vic, thank you.
This is all good stuff.
1054
00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:33,472
-Good advice.
-Yeah. Good. Thank you.
1055
00:53:33,643 --> 00:53:34,667
My pleasure, guys.
1056
00:53:34,844 --> 00:53:37,039
-Okay, watch that thing.
-This is unnecessary.
1057
00:53:37,414 --> 00:53:39,177
Watch that thing.
1058
00:53:39,616 --> 00:53:41,140
Good luck.
1059
00:53:42,185 --> 00:53:43,516
Oh, one more thing.
1060
00:53:43,687 --> 00:53:46,679
Buy some scented candles.
It helps hide the smell of ass.
1061
00:53:46,856 --> 00:53:48,756
Okay. Good, good, good.
1062
00:53:48,925 --> 00:53:50,916
Smart. Smart, smart, smart.
1063
00:53:51,094 --> 00:53:52,288
Don't eat anything here.
1064
00:53:52,462 --> 00:53:54,157
-You son of a bitch.
-Don't.
1065
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:03,202
-Holy shit, is that--?
-Oh, boy.
1066
00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:05,773
Keep going. Don't let her see you.
1067
00:54:09,512 --> 00:54:11,104
Hey, what the fuck?
1068
00:54:14,851 --> 00:54:16,819
-Man, oh, man. All right.
-That was good?
1069
00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:18,284
-That was good.
-Yeah.
1070
00:54:18,455 --> 00:54:19,547
Yeah, okay, here we go.
1071
00:54:19,723 --> 00:54:21,623
-You ready?
-Showtime.
1072
00:54:22,659 --> 00:54:25,127
Sh-- Shit.
1073
00:54:25,295 --> 00:54:26,557
-I'm gonna count that.
-Okay.
1074
00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:28,391
I'm gonna count that there. Okay.
1075
00:54:28,598 --> 00:54:31,294
Yeah, it's juvenile. I've been meaning
to ask you something.
1076
00:54:31,468 --> 00:54:33,959
-What?
-What's Dody like as a boss?
1077
00:54:34,137 --> 00:54:37,732
She just seems like she could be
a little, you know, domineering.
1078
00:54:37,907 --> 00:54:41,673
Oh, my gosh, no. I mean,
she's not what you think, you know.
1079
00:54:41,845 --> 00:54:44,143
I mean, of course,
at work she's all business...
1080
00:54:44,314 --> 00:54:46,578
...but, Eric, she has
traveled the world.
1081
00:54:46,750 --> 00:54:49,014
-No shit.
-She speaks all these languages.
1082
00:54:49,185 --> 00:54:51,653
She's just full of surprises.
1083
00:54:51,821 --> 00:54:53,345
Oh, I bet she is.
1084
00:54:53,523 --> 00:54:55,650
I bet she's been places
I can only imagine.
1085
00:54:55,992 --> 00:54:58,825
So, like, now that
you're super into me....
1086
00:55:00,497 --> 00:55:03,227
No, there's something
I actually have to tell you.
1087
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:04,867
-Sincerely l....
-Really?
1088
00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:07,003
Yeah, I kind of misled you.
1089
00:55:07,170 --> 00:55:09,866
What you saw today was
not an actual representation...
1090
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,031
...of my Frisbee golf skills.
1091
00:55:12,208 --> 00:55:14,335
Yeah. I let you win.
1092
00:55:14,511 --> 00:55:16,172
-Really?
-Yeah.
1093
00:55:16,346 --> 00:55:18,337
So I want a rematch. Like, bigtime.
1094
00:55:19,215 --> 00:55:21,683
Or you could just stick
to sucking at pool.
1095
00:55:31,394 --> 00:55:32,622
One more.
1096
00:55:32,796 --> 00:55:34,024
-That's it, though.
-No.
1097
00:55:34,197 --> 00:55:36,256
That was the last one.
That's for the road.
1098
00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:37,525
I will call you.
1099
00:55:37,901 --> 00:55:39,801
-Okay.
-All right.
1100
00:55:39,969 --> 00:55:42,028
-See you.
-Hey....
1101
00:55:43,206 --> 00:55:45,538
What are you doing for Labor Day?
1102
00:55:46,576 --> 00:55:48,976
Oh, yeah. Is that--?
Yeah, Labor Day.
1103
00:55:49,179 --> 00:55:50,942
You know what?
1104
00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:53,810
The guys and the crew,
we're all gonna....
1105
00:55:53,983 --> 00:55:55,883
We're doing this small little thing...
1106
00:55:56,052 --> 00:55:58,543
...this intimate little thing.
Nothing-- Nothing special.
1107
00:55:58,722 --> 00:56:01,213
Well, I was thinking
that maybe, you know...
1108
00:56:01,391 --> 00:56:04,053
...your friends and my friends
could get together.
1109
00:56:04,227 --> 00:56:05,455
Yeah.
1110
00:56:05,628 --> 00:56:07,061
-Oh, that sounds great.
-Yeah?
1111
00:56:07,230 --> 00:56:09,130
We should definitely
look into that maybe.
1112
00:56:09,299 --> 00:56:10,732
Yeah. It'd be fun.
1113
00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:13,630
So, wait, Eric, is that--?
Is that a maybe?
1114
00:56:13,803 --> 00:56:15,600
Yeah, it's a maybe.
It's a definite maybe.
1115
00:56:15,772 --> 00:56:19,139
It's a hard, hard maybe. We should
definitely think about doing that.
1116
00:56:19,309 --> 00:56:21,573
Let's lock it in as a possibility.
1117
00:56:21,745 --> 00:56:22,939
-Okay.
-Okay.
1118
00:56:23,113 --> 00:56:25,343
I'll call you about it.
1119
00:56:25,515 --> 00:56:28,609
-Or write you.
-Okay.
1120
00:56:28,785 --> 00:56:31,083
Carrier pigeon. Something.
I'll get a hold of you.
1121
00:56:31,254 --> 00:56:32,949
-Good night, Eric.
-Good night, Kelly.
1122
00:56:50,473 --> 00:56:51,804
-Hey.
-Hi.
1123
00:56:51,975 --> 00:56:54,170
-What are you doing up?
-Oh, I never went down.
1124
00:56:54,344 --> 00:56:56,505
Stayed up drinking
with a dude from Blues Traveler...
1125
00:56:56,679 --> 00:57:00,115
...in the Talkhouse parking lot.
Like an hour ago, fucking dude says...
1126
00:57:00,283 --> 00:57:04,617
-...the bubonic plague is back.
-Great. Another thing to worry about.
1127
00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:07,781
What are you doing up?
1128
00:57:08,158 --> 00:57:10,649
I got a bit of a situation.
1129
00:57:10,827 --> 00:57:12,624
Hit me.
1130
00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:16,459
Okay, but first off,
you can't tell anyone.
1131
00:57:16,633 --> 00:57:18,396
Dude, look who you're talking to.
1132
00:57:18,568 --> 00:57:20,331
-It's the vault.
-Seriously.
1133
00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:22,869
A lot of people tell people
you can't tell someone...
1134
00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:25,974
...and those people go and tell
someone. That cannot happen.
1135
00:57:26,142 --> 00:57:28,474
Hey. You tell no one.
1136
00:57:28,645 --> 00:57:30,306
Not even Rodrigo?
1137
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,813
Why would you tell a 50-year-old
Guatemalan landscaper about my life?
1138
00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:36,508
Because he's a good
sounding board, okay?
1139
00:57:36,686 --> 00:57:39,849
But if you're gonna get all weird
about it, I won't tell Rodrigo.
1140
00:57:40,023 --> 00:57:42,014
I appreciate it.
1141
00:57:42,992 --> 00:57:44,892
I went on a date last night.
1142
00:57:45,061 --> 00:57:46,323
So far, so good.
1143
00:57:46,496 --> 00:57:47,520
With the Realtor chick.
1144
00:57:48,531 --> 00:57:50,021
Dody Henderson?
Did she peg you?
1145
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,998
No, not Dody.
I went out with Kelly.
1146
00:57:53,169 --> 00:57:54,329
Oh, thank the Lord.
1147
00:57:54,504 --> 00:57:56,495
I felt bad for your
butt hole for a minute.
1148
00:57:56,673 --> 00:57:57,697
Yeah.
1149
00:57:57,874 --> 00:58:02,072
Yeah, and I think
we've got a problem because...
1150
00:58:03,012 --> 00:58:04,673
...I really kind of dig her now.
1151
00:58:06,349 --> 00:58:08,681
I don't know what to do
about the orgy situation.
1152
00:58:08,852 --> 00:58:10,217
Are you fucking with me?
1153
00:58:10,386 --> 00:58:12,513
I know. What are the odds?
1154
00:58:12,689 --> 00:58:14,418
I mean, seriously, I'm smack dab...
1155
00:58:14,591 --> 00:58:16,252
...in the middle
of organizing an orgy.
1156
00:58:16,426 --> 00:58:17,757
-Orgy, yeah.
-Yes. Yeah.
1157
00:58:17,927 --> 00:58:20,361
And I meet the first girl
in a long time...
1158
00:58:20,530 --> 00:58:23,055
...that I can see myself
having a relationship with.
1159
00:58:24,601 --> 00:58:25,932
I gotta tell her about the orgy.
1160
00:58:26,102 --> 00:58:28,036
What?
1161
00:58:28,204 --> 00:58:30,536
No. No. It's so stupid.
1162
00:58:30,707 --> 00:58:32,937
No. Listen to me. No, no.
1163
00:58:33,109 --> 00:58:36,601
You don't ever, ever, ever
tell her about our little soiree here.
1164
00:58:36,779 --> 00:58:38,212
Ever.
1165
00:58:38,381 --> 00:58:39,871
Have you porked her yet?
1166
00:58:40,049 --> 00:58:42,381
Oh, goddamn it, Mike.
I hate when you say stuff.
1167
00:58:42,552 --> 00:58:44,577
No. No, we've kissed.
1168
00:58:44,754 --> 00:58:46,449
Kissed, good. Okay, good.
1169
00:58:46,623 --> 00:58:50,115
Keep it PG until after Labor Day, okay?
As long as you haven't had...
1170
00:58:50,293 --> 00:58:52,591
...the exclusivity talk,
and you're not boning....
1171
00:58:52,762 --> 00:58:54,559
-Yeah, I know.
-Then you, my friend...
1172
00:58:54,731 --> 00:58:55,891
...are a free agent.
1173
00:58:56,065 --> 00:58:57,999
I don't know, dude.
1174
00:58:58,167 --> 00:59:02,228
Listen to me.
You do not know what or who...
1175
00:59:02,405 --> 00:59:04,270
...she's been doing
in her free time, ace.
1176
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,637
So just keep it in your pants
until apr๏ฟฝs Labor Day...
1177
00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:09,437
...and then it'll just be this crazy...
1178
00:59:09,612 --> 00:59:12,740
...wet, vivid, erotic...
1179
00:59:12,916 --> 00:59:16,249
...sexual misadventure in your past...
1180
00:59:16,419 --> 00:59:19,252
...that you never have to
tell her about.
1181
00:59:23,593 --> 00:59:24,617
Okay.
1182
00:59:24,794 --> 00:59:26,762
-Okay?
-All right, that's the plan.
1183
00:59:26,930 --> 00:59:29,990
Thank you.
That was oddly helpful.
1184
00:59:30,166 --> 00:59:33,101
I am not just a pretty face.
1185
00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:38,030
Daddy really needs
to get in shape.
1186
00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,266
Oh, I'm with you.
I may even cut out carbs...
1187
00:59:40,443 --> 00:59:42,843
...except for pizza
and sandwiches, obviously.
1188
00:59:43,546 --> 00:59:47,448
Are you guys worried at all about
performing in front of everyone else?
1189
00:59:48,151 --> 00:59:50,142
Look, it's not a race.
1190
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,345
Well, assuming
that we can all get wood...
1191
00:59:52,522 --> 00:59:54,285
...one of us will have
the smallest dick.
1192
00:59:54,457 --> 00:59:57,324
And l, for one, do not wanna
have the smallest dick.
1193
00:59:57,493 --> 00:59:58,517
Okay. Two things.
1194
00:59:58,695 --> 01:00:02,290
The ladies are gonna be too concerned
about their bodies to think about yours.
1195
01:00:02,465 --> 01:00:04,797
And secondly, that's all myth.
1196
01:00:05,702 --> 01:00:07,465
Women do not care
about penis size.
1197
01:00:07,637 --> 01:00:10,037
Who do you think
has the biggest dick?
1198
01:00:10,206 --> 01:00:11,298
I think I know.
1199
01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,209
You're next up, laddie.
1200
01:00:17,246 --> 01:00:20,010
No one fucking said anything
about giving any fucking blood.
1201
01:00:20,183 --> 01:00:23,209
And can someone explain
why they need to puncture your vein...
1202
01:00:23,386 --> 01:00:25,650
...to find out if there's
a problem with your shvantz?
1203
01:00:25,822 --> 01:00:28,052
Summer after freshman year....
1204
01:00:28,224 --> 01:00:32,183
-Yeah?
-I walked in on one of the guys...
1205
01:00:32,362 --> 01:00:34,262
...whacking off.
1206
01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:36,557
-Shut up. Who?
-I won't say.
1207
01:00:36,733 --> 01:00:38,098
No, no, no, who? Who? Who?
1208
01:00:38,267 --> 01:00:43,864
I'm not gonna tell you, but I will
say that it was a monster.
1209
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,702
Hey. That is my blood.
1210
01:00:46,876 --> 01:00:48,343
That used to be inside you.
1211
01:00:48,511 --> 01:00:49,569
I'm gonna lie down.
1212
01:00:49,746 --> 01:00:51,373
What? Duquez, Duquez!
1213
01:00:51,547 --> 01:00:53,515
You gotta give us ballpark--
Right, right.
1214
01:00:53,683 --> 01:00:54,707
Like is that...?
1215
01:00:54,884 --> 01:00:57,045
It's more like-- It was like that.
1216
01:00:57,220 --> 01:00:58,585
-What?
-But the head.
1217
01:00:58,755 --> 01:01:00,279
-What?
-It's even bigger.
1218
01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:01,684
Mama likes.
1219
01:01:01,858 --> 01:01:03,689
I don't know
if you're gonna like it.
1220
01:01:05,795 --> 01:01:08,127
Oh, hi.
1221
01:01:08,297 --> 01:01:09,525
Eric?
1222
01:01:09,699 --> 01:01:11,963
Kelly. We're just
heading back to the city.
1223
01:01:12,135 --> 01:01:13,932
-We'll be in touch this week.
-Good.
1224
01:01:14,103 --> 01:01:15,127
Regarding the house.
1225
01:01:15,304 --> 01:01:18,205
Of course, the house, yes.
Yeah, I'll page you.
1226
01:01:20,710 --> 01:01:23,076
-Dody.
-Eric.
1227
01:01:23,246 --> 01:01:25,111
The password this week is unicorn.
1228
01:01:26,282 --> 01:01:28,307
Well, I don't know if that'll be nece--
1229
01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:46,801
We're here to share
our experiences...
1230
01:01:46,969 --> 01:01:50,735
...in creating the perfect orgy
of your personal fantasies.
1231
01:01:55,845 --> 01:01:58,313
See that? Everybody's
always touching two people.
1232
01:01:58,481 --> 01:02:00,244
A little teamwork.
1233
01:02:00,416 --> 01:02:01,940
They're playing good team ball.
1234
01:02:02,118 --> 01:02:04,416
Okay, I think we get the picture.
1235
01:02:11,494 --> 01:02:13,189
McCrudds, you want some pizza?
1236
01:02:13,362 --> 01:02:14,989
No, I'm not hungry. Thank you.
1237
01:02:15,164 --> 01:02:17,257
Got an all-l-can-eat buffet
going right here.
1238
01:02:18,468 --> 01:02:20,333
-Let me try.
-Try this.
1239
01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:22,268
What is that?
1240
01:02:25,942 --> 01:02:26,966
Shit!
1241
01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,441
Oh, he's doing my move.
Look at that.
1242
01:02:29,612 --> 01:02:31,603
He knows the Thoosh.
1243
01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:37,348
Hey, you guys? Guys.
Back to the music. Are we--?
1244
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,284
Are we really gonna listen
to lndian the whole night?
1245
01:02:40,456 --> 01:02:43,152
-I think it might get a little--
-Cab ride-y? Agreed. Yeah.
1246
01:02:43,326 --> 01:02:45,624
I'm working on
a killer playlist right now.
1247
01:02:45,795 --> 01:02:47,456
Got some obscure Radiohead.
1248
01:02:47,630 --> 01:02:49,655
Who has sex to Radiohead?
1249
01:02:49,832 --> 01:02:51,663
Thom Yorke.
1250
01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:53,199
No Radiohead. No Radiohead.
1251
01:02:53,369 --> 01:02:56,497
I think we need something
sensual, like Sting.
1252
01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,037
-I love Sting.
-No.
1253
01:02:58,207 --> 01:03:00,471
Unacceptable.
Absolutely not fucking Sting.
1254
01:03:00,643 --> 01:03:03,305
That's bullshit, man. If Sting comes on
the fucking stereo...
1255
01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:04,912
...guess who's walking. This guy.
1256
01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:07,139
Sting, it is then.
1257
01:03:09,352 --> 01:03:11,877
-So l....
-Yeah?
1258
01:03:12,054 --> 01:03:13,351
Got you a little present.
1259
01:03:13,523 --> 01:03:14,547
Really?
1260
01:03:14,924 --> 01:03:17,415
It's filled with some great things
for next weekend.
1261
01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:18,651
It's not my birthday.
1262
01:03:20,062 --> 01:03:22,155
-Hey. Look, oh, boy.
-Yeah.
1263
01:03:22,331 --> 01:03:24,891
Oh, wow, look at that guy.
He's like a Swiss Army dude.
1264
01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:27,331
Wow, that's great.
People are gonna love that.
1265
01:03:27,503 --> 01:03:29,937
Just so you know....
1266
01:03:30,139 --> 01:03:32,039
I'm not wearing
any underwear right now.
1267
01:03:32,208 --> 01:03:33,573
On these stools?
1268
01:03:33,743 --> 01:03:35,506
Well, well, well, the gang's all here.
1269
01:03:35,678 --> 01:03:37,373
Paciellio!
1270
01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:39,037
-Hi.
-Paciellio.
1271
01:03:40,449 --> 01:03:42,246
-Hi, guys.
-What's up?
1272
01:03:42,418 --> 01:03:44,215
We have some business
to discuss.
1273
01:03:44,387 --> 01:03:50,019
Right. So Glenn and l
have talked it over and...
1274
01:03:51,194 --> 01:03:53,594
...we would like to be
included in the orgy.
1275
01:03:55,198 --> 01:03:57,189
We're in.
1276
01:03:57,366 --> 01:03:58,424
We wanna do it.
1277
01:04:05,208 --> 01:04:06,232
No.
1278
01:04:06,409 --> 01:04:07,535
-Why not? What--
-What?
1279
01:04:07,710 --> 01:04:09,541
We already lined up
my folks to babysit.
1280
01:04:10,046 --> 01:04:13,482
Guys, guys, as a friend
and a mental-health professional...
1281
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:15,446
...I think it is a horrible idea.
1282
01:04:15,618 --> 01:04:17,711
If you feel disconnected,
I understand--
1283
01:04:17,887 --> 01:04:20,549
Alison, with all due respect...
1284
01:04:20,723 --> 01:04:23,055
...you're an MA, I'm an MD.
1285
01:04:23,426 --> 01:04:24,916
You're a podiatrist.
1286
01:04:25,094 --> 01:04:26,755
Okay, let's take a vote.
1287
01:04:26,929 --> 01:04:29,159
-How many people want us in?
-Right.
1288
01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:32,460
I would just like to say that I think they
maybe have a point here.
1289
01:04:32,635 --> 01:04:35,934
Just because they have a baby
doesn't mean we should discriminate.
1290
01:04:36,105 --> 01:04:39,302
Plus, Kate's rack is killer right now.
1291
01:04:39,475 --> 01:04:41,067
-Thank you, Michael.
-Yeah.
1292
01:04:41,244 --> 01:04:44,736
Jesus, Mike, are you insane?
No. No, no.
1293
01:04:44,914 --> 01:04:47,781
Dude, dude, dude, 10 o'clock.
Ten o'clock. My 10, my 10.
1294
01:04:49,085 --> 01:04:50,416
Shit.
1295
01:04:50,586 --> 01:04:53,248
Hey! Look who it is.
1296
01:04:53,422 --> 01:04:54,912
Hi, there it is.
1297
01:04:55,091 --> 01:04:56,956
Hey, this is my Realtor, Kelly.
1298
01:04:57,126 --> 01:04:58,821
This is the group, the gang.
1299
01:04:58,995 --> 01:05:00,622
-Hi, Kelly.
-Hi, Kelly.
1300
01:05:00,796 --> 01:05:03,162
Gosh, I've heard so much
about all of you guys.
1301
01:05:03,332 --> 01:05:04,822
How? When?
1302
01:05:05,001 --> 01:05:07,595
What? Why? What's she
talking about? Let's get a drink.
1303
01:05:07,770 --> 01:05:09,362
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1304
01:05:10,506 --> 01:05:13,304
You think we couldn't handle this
because we're parents?
1305
01:05:13,476 --> 01:05:16,468
Well, we can handle shit
that you can't even imagine.
1306
01:05:16,646 --> 01:05:19,206
You know, you motherfuckers
have no idea.
1307
01:05:19,382 --> 01:05:20,781
-That's right.
-No idea.
1308
01:05:20,950 --> 01:05:23,111
-Come on.
-You-- You--
1309
01:05:23,286 --> 01:05:25,277
You're all lightweights.
1310
01:05:25,454 --> 01:05:28,218
You are all playing JV ball.
1311
01:05:28,391 --> 01:05:29,449
Lightweights.
1312
01:05:29,625 --> 01:05:31,490
-All right, Glenn.
-Come on, honey.
1313
01:05:32,528 --> 01:05:35,827
On a lighter note,
I have this present.
1314
01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:39,461
Dildos.
1315
01:05:39,635 --> 01:05:42,536
You know, in a pinch,
this would be great for a toothbrush.
1316
01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:46,998
And I have no idea what this is.
1317
01:05:47,176 --> 01:05:49,474
Hey, Eric, what's up
with all the dildos?
1318
01:05:49,645 --> 01:05:52,637
Hey, those are my friends.
Hey, what's going on with the house?
1319
01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:57,548
Um, I've been able to slow things down
to buy you till the end of the summer.
1320
01:05:58,154 --> 01:05:59,678
-Really?
-Yeah.
1321
01:06:00,423 --> 01:06:02,482
Oh, you're the best.
1322
01:06:04,827 --> 01:06:06,158
Thank you so much.
1323
01:06:06,329 --> 01:06:07,853
-What is that?
-What?
1324
01:06:08,030 --> 01:06:09,554
-What's going on?
-Nothing.
1325
01:06:09,732 --> 01:06:11,495
He told me not to tell
anybody so....
1326
01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:12,998
-Yeah, okay.
-You know.
1327
01:06:14,170 --> 01:06:15,728
-Keep it on the down-low.
-Yeah.
1328
01:06:15,905 --> 01:06:17,702
He asked her out
to get them to stall.
1329
01:06:17,873 --> 01:06:19,431
Went on a couple dates,
likes her...
1330
01:06:19,608 --> 01:06:21,735
...doesn't want to sleep with her
before the orgy...
1331
01:06:21,911 --> 01:06:25,176
-...because it's wrong to do both.
-He doesn't wanna sleep with her.
1332
01:06:25,348 --> 01:06:27,509
That actually means he likes her.
1333
01:06:27,683 --> 01:06:28,707
Awesome.
1334
01:06:28,884 --> 01:06:30,511
Hey. Dildo wave.
1335
01:06:30,686 --> 01:06:32,677
-Hi.
-Hi.
1336
01:06:52,575 --> 01:06:55,135
Yo, maharajah,
wanna get my back for me?
1337
01:06:55,344 --> 01:06:57,437
-What is this shit?
-Self tanner, man.
1338
01:06:57,613 --> 01:06:59,444
I wanna look like a porn star.
1339
01:06:59,615 --> 01:07:01,947
Fuck me, I just stroked out
my third batch du jour.
1340
01:07:02,118 --> 01:07:04,552
You boys might wanna do the same.
Don't wanna come quick...
1341
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:08,850
-...Iike a bunch of amateurs.
-Oh, God. I am not touching you.
1342
01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:11,884
Fuck it.
I'm gonna whack it again.
1343
01:07:12,061 --> 01:07:14,791
-You look so pretty.
-So do you.
1344
01:07:14,964 --> 01:07:15,988
Thank you.
1345
01:07:16,165 --> 01:07:17,564
I love it.
1346
01:07:17,733 --> 01:07:19,291
Consider yourself warned.
1347
01:07:19,468 --> 01:07:22,835
This absinthe is the real deal.
I had it flown in from Amsterdam.
1348
01:07:23,005 --> 01:07:25,906
The guy that sold it to me
said it's the stuff Van Gogh was on...
1349
01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:28,566
-...when he cut his ear off.
-Oh, no.
1350
01:07:28,744 --> 01:07:30,473
It's gonna be a starry night, huh?
1351
01:07:30,646 --> 01:07:31,772
It smells like licorice.
1352
01:07:31,947 --> 01:07:34,279
A toast. A toast.
1353
01:07:34,450 --> 01:07:35,940
To friends.
1354
01:07:36,118 --> 01:07:37,483
To friends.
1355
01:07:37,653 --> 01:07:41,749
And to making sweet love
with, to, near....
1356
01:07:41,924 --> 01:07:43,152
-On.
-ln.
1357
01:07:43,325 --> 01:07:45,418
Under. And behind.
1358
01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,498
All right, salud.
1359
01:07:55,104 --> 01:07:56,594
Sober. Never more.
1360
01:08:04,947 --> 01:08:06,608
The pillows look really nice.
1361
01:08:06,782 --> 01:08:08,113
Yeah.
1362
01:08:08,284 --> 01:08:10,184
These Crate and Barrel or...?
1363
01:08:18,794 --> 01:08:19,818
You guys look great.
1364
01:08:19,995 --> 01:08:21,121
Oh, thanks.
1365
01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:22,628
You look so fucking hot.
1366
01:08:22,798 --> 01:08:25,631
I'm just being honest.
I wanna lick your belly button.
1367
01:08:25,801 --> 01:08:28,827
And yours, your belly button's
nice too. You got a good one too.
1368
01:08:29,004 --> 01:08:32,132
I haven't seen yours, but I'm gonna
lick the shit out of that thing.
1369
01:08:33,809 --> 01:08:36,642
As the de facto lead wolf,
right?
1370
01:08:36,812 --> 01:08:39,542
I--
I should kick this mofo off...
1371
01:08:39,715 --> 01:08:42,843
...but I gotta be honest with you.
I have no idea what to do, so....
1372
01:08:43,018 --> 01:08:44,485
-Lead wolf?
-Oh, yeah.
1373
01:08:44,653 --> 01:08:47,816
-You had to be there kind of.
-Tut-tut-tut. Okay.
1374
01:08:47,990 --> 01:08:50,481
Listen up, everybody.
As per usual...
1375
01:08:50,659 --> 01:08:53,526
...it is up to me
to get this party started.
1376
01:08:53,696 --> 01:08:55,323
Hang on.
I got something for you.
1377
01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,998
Hang on a second, ladies.
1378
01:09:02,171 --> 01:09:04,605
-Yeah, rock 'n' roll.
-Holy moly.
1379
01:09:04,773 --> 01:09:05,831
We're on safari now.
1380
01:09:06,008 --> 01:09:07,066
Yeah.
1381
01:09:07,243 --> 01:09:08,710
How many leopards had to die?
1382
01:09:08,878 --> 01:09:11,005
Just one big old kinky leopard.
1383
01:09:12,381 --> 01:09:13,746
They won't kick us out.
1384
01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:15,747
If we're here,
they won't kick us out.
1385
01:09:15,918 --> 01:09:18,284
-Okay.
-They won't do it.
1386
01:09:18,487 --> 01:09:21,479
And we're totally sure
we wanna do this?
1387
01:09:22,491 --> 01:09:24,425
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1388
01:09:25,060 --> 01:09:26,721
Somebody do something.
1389
01:09:28,430 --> 01:09:31,194
All right? Anybody?
1390
01:09:32,034 --> 01:09:33,763
All right, fuck it. I'm gonna call it.
1391
01:09:34,003 --> 01:09:36,369
Sue, kiss Alison. I'm gonna start
touching myself.
1392
01:09:36,539 --> 01:09:40,202
Oh. We could start with a
back-rub circle like in college.
1393
01:09:42,945 --> 01:09:45,106
I'll get things started.
1394
01:09:45,281 --> 01:09:46,714
Yes. Yeah!
1395
01:09:46,882 --> 01:09:48,907
Here we go.
1396
01:09:49,752 --> 01:09:52,550
I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do this anymore.
1397
01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:54,552
I can't.
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1398
01:09:57,059 --> 01:09:58,083
I knew it.
1399
01:09:58,260 --> 01:10:00,387
I knew you'd fucking
puss out, man.
1400
01:10:00,563 --> 01:10:02,793
I'm not pussing out.
I'm in a relationship...
1401
01:10:02,965 --> 01:10:05,798
...that I really appreciate.
And I don't wanna fuck this up.
1402
01:10:05,968 --> 01:10:08,903
Classic Duquez. You know,
it's like doughnuts, no doughnuts...
1403
01:10:09,071 --> 01:10:10,732
...hat, no hat, orgy, no orgy.
1404
01:10:10,906 --> 01:10:12,737
We take a look-see
through the window...
1405
01:10:12,908 --> 01:10:15,399
...and if it looks, like,
too freaky or lame...
1406
01:10:15,578 --> 01:10:17,102
-Yeah.
-...we take off.
1407
01:10:17,279 --> 01:10:21,340
And if it looks,
you know, cool, we go in.
1408
01:10:21,550 --> 01:10:23,142
-Okay?
-Okay.
1409
01:10:23,319 --> 01:10:24,752
I'm not mad at you.
1410
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:27,252
Eric, Eric. I love
what's going on here...
1411
01:10:27,423 --> 01:10:29,482
...but I don't think
you need to insult.
1412
01:10:29,658 --> 01:10:32,354
-You should actually communicate.
-My God, Alison, please.
1413
01:10:32,595 --> 01:10:35,928
-Give it a rest? Just one night?
-You're uncomfortable with emotion.
1414
01:10:36,098 --> 01:10:38,589
Oh, yeah, I can't. I'm the
only one here with issues.
1415
01:10:38,767 --> 01:10:41,429
It's just me? What about you
and your relationship?
1416
01:10:41,604 --> 01:10:42,764
-We broke up.
-You broke up?
1417
01:10:42,938 --> 01:10:43,962
-Yes.
-You broke up?
1418
01:10:44,139 --> 01:10:47,438
Like you broke up a couple years ago
at the Oktoberfest in July party?
1419
01:10:47,610 --> 01:10:49,669
-That kind?
-What happened on Oktoberfest?
1420
01:10:49,845 --> 01:10:53,110
This one tells me that her
and Marcus are broken up. Over.
1421
01:10:53,282 --> 01:10:56,308
We're joking, having drinks,
she tells me about it, we hook up.
1422
01:10:56,485 --> 01:10:59,010
Next morning, she's having
brunch with the guy.
1423
01:10:59,188 --> 01:11:01,486
Whoa, whoa, wait. What?
1424
01:11:01,657 --> 01:11:02,954
You never told me this.
1425
01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:06,856
I don't need to tell you because nothing
happened. We didn't sleep together.
1426
01:11:07,029 --> 01:11:09,361
You told me it was a blowjob,
she wouldn't swallow.
1427
01:11:09,531 --> 01:11:11,658
No, I did not, Mike.
I did not say that.
1428
01:11:11,834 --> 01:11:14,359
-lt was a fucking hand job.
-Hand job. That's right.
1429
01:11:14,536 --> 01:11:16,527
It was a hand job.
I'm sorry. My bad.
1430
01:11:16,705 --> 01:11:18,866
-Please don't go there.
-No, no, no.
1431
01:11:19,041 --> 01:11:22,374
Alison, shut up.
You're a hypocrite.
1432
01:11:22,544 --> 01:11:23,806
What's going on?
1433
01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:28,313
First of all, they're dressed
like lndians from lndia.
1434
01:11:28,484 --> 01:11:30,384
-That makes much more sense.
-Yeah.
1435
01:11:30,552 --> 01:11:33,316
-This is why I don't tell you.
-You could've given him a blowjob.
1436
01:11:33,489 --> 01:11:35,889
-Why didn't you fuck him?
-Why don't you get over it?
1437
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,821
How long are you gonna be
obsessed with Eric?
1438
01:11:39,828 --> 01:11:40,852
Oh, shit.
1439
01:11:41,897 --> 01:11:43,387
Wait, what?
1440
01:11:44,867 --> 01:11:46,835
Okay, okay.
1441
01:11:47,002 --> 01:11:49,163
"Urch" your brakes on, people.
1442
01:11:49,338 --> 01:11:51,863
We are rapidly losing
the erotic vibe.
1443
01:11:52,508 --> 01:11:56,000
I'm gonna get this party rocking
right here in a major way.
1444
01:11:56,178 --> 01:11:57,702
What you got, man?
1445
01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:00,246
Ready, set, here we go.
1446
01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:02,680
Let loose the Kraken.
1447
01:12:04,887 --> 01:12:07,856
Will you give it a break, Mike?
This shit's pathetic.
1448
01:12:08,023 --> 01:12:10,583
Oh, fuck you. You fucking pussy.
You're lame.
1449
01:12:10,759 --> 01:12:12,192
You're the lame one, man.
1450
01:12:12,361 --> 01:12:15,694
You don't have a job. You don't have
a girlfriend. You follow Eric around...
1451
01:12:15,864 --> 01:12:19,197
...and do everything he tells you to do.
Like his little fucking pet.
1452
01:12:21,937 --> 01:12:23,529
Dougie.
1453
01:12:23,706 --> 01:12:24,730
Fuck you, Doug.
1454
01:12:29,478 --> 01:12:30,911
Is that what you think of me?
1455
01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:33,412
You think I'm his--?
You think I'm his fucking pet?
1456
01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:35,243
No.
1457
01:12:35,984 --> 01:12:39,442
He meant pet in a nice way.
1458
01:12:42,224 --> 01:12:44,215
Is he fucking with me right now?
1459
01:12:44,693 --> 01:12:47,594
This is the worst orgy ever.
1460
01:12:47,763 --> 01:12:49,754
Should we just go home or...?
1461
01:12:49,932 --> 01:12:51,399
No.
1462
01:12:51,567 --> 01:12:53,762
We already got a sitter.
1463
01:12:53,936 --> 01:12:56,427
You wanna go see a movie
or you wanna--?
1464
01:13:00,242 --> 01:13:01,800
Okay, okay.
All right, time out.
1465
01:13:01,977 --> 01:13:04,104
Time out.
Time out, T.O., okay?
1466
01:13:04,279 --> 01:13:07,476
I think everyone just needs
to take a deep breath.
1467
01:13:07,649 --> 01:13:08,911
All right?
1468
01:13:09,952 --> 01:13:13,353
We need to relax and chill out
for a second, all right?
1469
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:16,486
Where are you going?
1470
01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,751
I'm just going outside
to get some fresh air.
1471
01:13:18,927 --> 01:13:20,417
Clear my head.
1472
01:13:23,599 --> 01:13:26,090
I swear to God, guys,
I thought this was gonna be fun.
1473
01:13:49,792 --> 01:13:52,283
Oh, yeah, oh!
1474
01:13:52,461 --> 01:13:55,123
Why won't God
just let me have an orgy?
1475
01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:05,969
Okay. All right, here we go.
1476
01:14:09,077 --> 01:14:11,307
-Eric.
-Kelly.
1477
01:14:11,513 --> 01:14:14,141
What are you doing? I thought
you were with your friends.
1478
01:14:14,316 --> 01:14:15,476
I know. I know.
1479
01:14:15,651 --> 01:14:17,175
Did you fly here on a carpet?
1480
01:14:17,352 --> 01:14:19,547
No. No, no. I....
1481
01:14:19,721 --> 01:14:22,656
It's a last-second
costume concept for....
1482
01:14:22,825 --> 01:14:26,989
Look, l-- I've been thinking about
things and I realized something.
1483
01:14:27,796 --> 01:14:28,854
Oh, shit.
1484
01:14:29,031 --> 01:14:31,591
I thought we ordered pizza.
What'd you get, lndian food?
1485
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:35,327
I'm sorry.
1486
01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:38,371
I-- Sorry to interrupt.
Sorry.
1487
01:14:38,540 --> 01:14:41,270
Pete, give us a second?
Hey, hey, hey, Eric.
1488
01:14:41,443 --> 01:14:43,001
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1489
01:14:43,178 --> 01:14:44,236
-You didn't call.
-I know.
1490
01:14:44,413 --> 01:14:47,075
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1491
01:14:47,249 --> 01:14:49,945
Oh, pizza? Really?
1492
01:14:50,118 --> 01:14:52,052
-I'm sorry.
-No, that's all right.
1493
01:14:52,221 --> 01:14:54,018
-Hey, what's up, man?
-Eighteen bucks.
1494
01:14:54,189 --> 01:14:55,679
Go, have fun. Hone--
1495
01:14:55,858 --> 01:14:58,019
Honestly. No biggie.
1496
01:14:58,193 --> 01:14:59,524
I'll call you tomorrow.
1497
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,729
Bye.
1498
01:15:04,633 --> 01:15:08,569
Like I don't know
that I don't have a girlfriend.
1499
01:15:08,737 --> 01:15:14,107
Like I'm not trying to remember that
every fucking night of my life.
1500
01:15:14,276 --> 01:15:16,471
It's hard.
1501
01:15:21,884 --> 01:15:23,044
-Hey.
-Hi.
1502
01:15:23,218 --> 01:15:26,210
-So where were we?
-Where'd you go?
1503
01:15:26,388 --> 01:15:28,447
I know, I know, I know, l....
1504
01:15:28,624 --> 01:15:31,388
I'm sorry I left. You know, l....
1505
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:35,929
I'm gonna be honest with you guys.
I'm freaking out a little.
1506
01:15:38,901 --> 01:15:41,563
I have had the best times of my life...
1507
01:15:41,737 --> 01:15:43,898
...with you guys in this house...
1508
01:15:44,072 --> 01:15:48,736
...and I'm gonna miss it.
1509
01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,739
I'm gonna miss it so much.
1510
01:15:51,914 --> 01:15:54,280
I love you guys.
1511
01:15:54,449 --> 01:15:56,076
I love every single one of you.
1512
01:15:57,886 --> 01:15:59,251
She wasn't home, huh?
1513
01:15:59,922 --> 01:16:02,755
No. No, she was home.
1514
01:16:02,925 --> 01:16:04,085
She was on a date.
1515
01:16:05,827 --> 01:16:09,786
Yeah. And I showed up
dressed like fucking Aladdin.
1516
01:16:11,199 --> 01:16:13,599
Well, I think that
you look adorable.
1517
01:16:13,769 --> 01:16:18,103
And I am so happy
that you're back.
1518
01:16:18,273 --> 01:16:21,834
It's been a pretty
emotional night for all of us.
1519
01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:25,343
How about a big
super-gay group hug?
1520
01:16:25,514 --> 01:16:27,539
-Oh, yeah.
-Group hug.
1521
01:16:28,951 --> 01:16:31,283
I love you guys.
1522
01:16:36,158 --> 01:16:37,352
Oh, my God.
1523
01:16:39,795 --> 01:16:43,060
Oh, my. I would not
have called that.
1524
01:16:47,235 --> 01:16:48,827
Hey, what was that about earlier?
1525
01:16:49,004 --> 01:16:50,335
-Yeah, nothing. Later.
-What?
1526
01:16:52,941 --> 01:16:54,169
Wha--?
1527
01:16:55,310 --> 01:16:57,039
Oh, gosh!
1528
01:16:57,212 --> 01:16:59,476
It's happening.
It's really happening.
1529
01:16:59,648 --> 01:17:02,344
-We can do this.
-I don't know if I can.
1530
01:17:02,517 --> 01:17:04,212
We'll do it together. Okay?
1531
01:17:06,588 --> 01:17:08,818
One.
1532
01:17:10,325 --> 01:17:12,259
Two.
1533
01:17:14,663 --> 01:17:15,687
Three.
1534
01:17:18,533 --> 01:17:20,501
Hello, boobs.
1535
01:17:23,205 --> 01:17:24,331
Are they okay?
1536
01:17:25,540 --> 01:17:27,167
They're fucking fabulous.
1537
01:17:27,843 --> 01:17:30,004
Thank you.
1538
01:17:32,381 --> 01:17:35,441
Oh. And just so you know...
1539
01:17:35,617 --> 01:17:39,917
...I've never been able to orgasm,
so no pressure.
1540
01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:42,022
I'm all about giving pleasure.
1541
01:17:42,190 --> 01:17:44,249
This is so much better
than porn.
1542
01:17:52,734 --> 01:17:54,725
Well, hey-o.
1543
01:17:54,903 --> 01:17:56,370
Oh, my God!
1544
01:17:56,538 --> 01:17:57,562
I told you so.
1545
01:17:57,739 --> 01:17:58,763
You weren't kidding.
1546
01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:02,376
That is remarkable
that he is insecure.
1547
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:07,271
Tequila!
1548
01:18:31,807 --> 01:18:34,435
Everybody, drink from the ceiling.
1549
01:18:44,486 --> 01:18:46,579
-Hey, Mike.
-Hi there.
1550
01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:49,349
You guys gotta try these
chocolate-covered strawberries.
1551
01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:50,786
They're so decadent.
1552
01:18:50,959 --> 01:18:53,257
Oh, no, no. I'm good.
I just had some Bagel Bites.
1553
01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,761
-Where'd you get Bagel Bites?
-Forget it.
1554
01:18:56,932 --> 01:18:58,490
Mahalo, freaky people.
1555
01:18:58,667 --> 01:19:00,066
We thought it might
be fun...
1556
01:19:00,268 --> 01:19:02,429
...if we all went out
and made love in the pool.
1557
01:19:02,604 --> 01:19:04,936
-Yes, yes.
-Yeah, you wanna go in the pool?
1558
01:19:05,107 --> 01:19:07,473
No. No, no. We're good
right here. We're good.
1559
01:19:07,642 --> 01:19:09,109
-Oh, we're okay.
-Yeah.
1560
01:19:09,277 --> 01:19:12,440
Thanks though.
It's chlorinated. Have fun.
1561
01:19:14,883 --> 01:19:16,942
Sue, I'm so happy for you.
1562
01:19:17,119 --> 01:19:20,179
Hey, guys, could we just
get a minute? Just a minute?
1563
01:19:20,355 --> 01:19:22,186
Yeah, just give us a sec, will you?
1564
01:19:22,357 --> 01:19:25,292
Oh, so sorry.
1565
01:19:25,460 --> 01:19:28,793
We're not giving you
enough privacy at an orgy?
1566
01:19:28,964 --> 01:19:32,559
-Oh, kind of a fair hit.
-Yeah, now....
1567
01:19:32,734 --> 01:19:34,634
Are you okay? You wanna talk
or something?
1568
01:19:34,803 --> 01:19:37,636
No, no.
Just be in the moment.
1569
01:19:37,806 --> 01:19:40,832
Okay. Yeah, no, can do. Can do.
Okay. Okay.
1570
01:19:43,411 --> 01:19:45,504
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, yeah?
1571
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:47,147
You like to dirty talk? Yeah?
1572
01:19:47,315 --> 01:19:49,010
-Fuck.
-Okay, you wanna fuck me?
1573
01:19:49,184 --> 01:19:52,017
-You wanna fuck me hard?
-No, Sue. Hop off. My foot, my foot.
1574
01:19:52,187 --> 01:19:53,211
Oh, oh, okay.
1575
01:19:53,388 --> 01:19:54,480
Oh, foot cramp.
1576
01:19:54,656 --> 01:19:55,918
-Okay.
-That's a doozie.
1577
01:19:56,124 --> 01:19:57,318
Okay. All right.
1578
01:19:57,492 --> 01:20:00,256
Oh, God, my big toe's so far
away from my other toes.
1579
01:20:00,428 --> 01:20:02,328
Okay, hey. Hey, flex it out.
1580
01:20:02,497 --> 01:20:04,158
Flex it out. Flex it, okay.
1581
01:20:04,332 --> 01:20:06,562
Oh, we should have
done this 1 5 years ago.
1582
01:20:07,068 --> 01:20:09,002
Hey, guys.
1583
01:20:09,171 --> 01:20:11,503
I broke my diet.
1584
01:20:14,176 --> 01:20:16,007
-Okay. You're good?
-Oh, yeah.
1585
01:20:16,178 --> 01:20:18,043
-Yeah? You're good?
-Okay. There it goes.
1586
01:20:18,213 --> 01:20:20,545
-There it goes. Oh, wow.
-Okay.
1587
01:20:20,715 --> 01:20:22,444
Okay. Okay. Okay.
1588
01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:25,916
Oh, no, it's back.
It's back worse!
1589
01:20:26,087 --> 01:20:28,180
It's-- The little guy
is in on it now.
1590
01:20:28,356 --> 01:20:30,950
Hey, gang. Sake bombs.
1591
01:20:40,435 --> 01:20:41,697
Oh, my God!
1592
01:20:41,870 --> 01:20:44,532
Oh, my God, my dick is having
the best night of its life.
1593
01:20:44,706 --> 01:20:47,573
Oh, we're all fucking.
Oh, we're all finally fucking.
1594
01:20:47,742 --> 01:20:49,767
Oh, and I can be as loud
as I fucking want!
1595
01:20:49,945 --> 01:20:50,969
Oh, no.
1596
01:20:53,915 --> 01:20:54,939
My contact.
1597
01:20:55,116 --> 01:20:56,549
Alison, my contacts.
1598
01:20:56,718 --> 01:20:59,744
-I'm good. I'm good. Play through.
-Bro, count me down.
1599
01:20:59,921 --> 01:21:02,389
-What?
-Count me down from five.
1600
01:21:02,557 --> 01:21:05,583
-What does that even mean?
-Oh, fuck! Count me down from 1 0.
1601
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:07,955
Count him down, Adam.
Just count him down.
1602
01:21:09,464 --> 01:21:11,898
This whole sex in the pool thing
is not working.
1603
01:21:12,067 --> 01:21:14,558
Water is not a lubricant.
1604
01:21:14,736 --> 01:21:18,001
Okay, brothers and sisters.
Let's take this party indoors.
1605
01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:20,834
I'm running with a boner!
1606
01:21:21,243 --> 01:21:23,939
Pineapple mojitos.
1607
01:21:24,112 --> 01:21:25,477
Yeah, most--
1608
01:21:27,349 --> 01:21:28,407
Fuck!
1609
01:21:28,583 --> 01:21:29,675
Are you ready?
1610
01:21:29,851 --> 01:21:31,944
As I'll ever be.
1611
01:21:37,425 --> 01:21:38,756
I'm next, I'm next, I'm next.
1612
01:21:39,995 --> 01:21:41,462
Vodka tonic.
1613
01:21:46,635 --> 01:21:49,536
Yo, can I tag in?
1614
01:21:50,839 --> 01:21:53,137
You're like the sweet, tender lion.
1615
01:21:53,308 --> 01:21:54,935
Mike, go away.
1616
01:21:55,110 --> 01:21:58,546
You guys haven't slept with anybody
else yet. You're hogging Willow.
1617
01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:01,477
Go away. Go away, Mike.
1618
01:22:02,484 --> 01:22:04,281
Vodka.
1619
01:22:04,886 --> 01:22:05,944
Come on.
1620
01:22:06,121 --> 01:22:10,148
Sue, I just wanna say I'm so sorry
about the whole Eric thing.
1621
01:22:10,325 --> 01:22:13,624
No. Totally don't.
It's so over. I don't care.
1622
01:22:13,795 --> 01:22:18,459
No, but you know, you're a really
good friend and I love you.
1623
01:22:18,633 --> 01:22:22,899
No, I love you. You are so smart
and you're so beautiful.
1624
01:22:23,071 --> 01:22:26,802
And I totally get why he would
wanna be with you.
1625
01:22:26,975 --> 01:22:28,340
You're the beautiful one.
1626
01:22:28,510 --> 01:22:31,343
Oh, my God,
your body is ridiculous.
1627
01:22:31,513 --> 01:22:33,640
Your body is ridiculous, okay?
1628
01:22:33,815 --> 01:22:36,909
And I would give anything
to have your breasts...
1629
01:22:37,085 --> 01:22:38,712
...just for, like, one day.
1630
01:22:38,887 --> 01:22:43,347
Yeah, but your ass
is off the charts, seriously.
1631
01:22:43,525 --> 01:22:45,891
Okay. I would kill
to have your eyes.
1632
01:22:46,061 --> 01:22:49,827
You know that you have
the most beautiful green eyes...
1633
01:22:49,998 --> 01:22:53,092
...that I have ever seen.
1634
01:22:58,673 --> 01:23:00,072
Oh, yeah.
1635
01:23:05,246 --> 01:23:06,736
Oh, yeah.
1636
01:23:08,850 --> 01:23:10,010
-I saw that.
-You see that?
1637
01:23:10,185 --> 01:23:13,882
-lt looked like a little flash of light.
-I know. I think I just-- God.
1638
01:23:14,589 --> 01:23:16,682
I never thought
I'd hear myself say this...
1639
01:23:16,858 --> 01:23:18,883
...but I'm gonna take a break...
1640
01:23:19,060 --> 01:23:21,927
...from this
girl-on-girl-on-girl action...
1641
01:23:22,097 --> 01:23:25,589
...and check the score
of the Yankee game.
1642
01:23:25,767 --> 01:23:27,758
This feels fucking fabulous.
1643
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:33,064
Michael!
1644
01:23:33,708 --> 01:23:35,403
-Let's go.
-Are you sure?
1645
01:23:35,577 --> 01:23:37,545
Yes, 1 00,000 percent sure.
1646
01:23:37,712 --> 01:23:40,112
-Let's go. Right now.
-Okay, okay. Let's go.
1647
01:23:40,281 --> 01:23:44,843
You fucking did it. Look at this.
You are awe-inspiring.
1648
01:23:45,286 --> 01:23:46,446
-Thank you, Mike.
-No.
1649
01:23:46,621 --> 01:23:48,088
I'm gonna tell you something...
1650
01:23:48,256 --> 01:23:50,884
...and I want you to listen
because I fucking mean it.
1651
01:23:51,059 --> 01:23:52,583
Okay.
1652
01:23:52,761 --> 01:23:55,662
You could be the president
of the United States.
1653
01:23:57,599 --> 01:23:59,430
Well, not after
something like this.
1654
01:23:59,601 --> 01:24:02,832
Hey! No. I'm fucking serious.
1655
01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:06,064
You could do it if you wanted to.
1656
01:24:06,241 --> 01:24:08,106
Yeah.
1657
01:24:08,276 --> 01:24:10,141
You're getting kind of close,
Mike.
1658
01:24:10,311 --> 01:24:12,677
-Am l?
-Yeah.
1659
01:24:13,314 --> 01:24:15,612
You're not trying to kiss me,
are you?
1660
01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:17,411
Would it scare you if I was?
1661
01:24:18,319 --> 01:24:20,116
I guess so.
1662
01:24:20,288 --> 01:24:22,620
Fucking kiss chicken, dude.
1663
01:24:22,791 --> 01:24:25,089
-It's on.
-All right.
1664
01:24:25,260 --> 01:24:26,921
Let me just set this right here.
1665
01:24:27,095 --> 01:24:28,653
Whatever.
1666
01:24:35,637 --> 01:24:37,798
You scared yet?
1667
01:24:38,940 --> 01:24:39,998
No.
1668
01:24:40,175 --> 01:24:42,439
No?
1669
01:24:42,610 --> 01:24:46,102
How about now?
Touching your nose with my nose.
1670
01:24:46,281 --> 01:24:48,476
It's okay, I'm part Eskimo.
1671
01:24:48,650 --> 01:24:50,618
We're nose-kissing, buddy.
1672
01:24:50,785 --> 01:24:53,151
It's more than our noses
touching right now.
1673
01:24:53,321 --> 01:24:55,653
It's our souls.
1674
01:25:00,662 --> 01:25:02,493
Yeah, that's been brewing
for years.
1675
01:25:02,664 --> 01:25:03,961
Well, I think we both won.
1676
01:25:06,067 --> 01:25:07,830
I'm pretty sure we both just lost.
1677
01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:13,871
Tonic.
1678
01:25:16,845 --> 01:25:19,871
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.
Almost there. Almost there.
1679
01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,312
No, don't stop. Don't stop.
Don't stop.
1680
01:25:22,684 --> 01:25:25,710
It feels so good.
It feels so good, don't stop.
1681
01:25:29,757 --> 01:25:30,815
How about that?
1682
01:25:30,992 --> 01:25:33,392
So how long
has this been going on?
1683
01:25:33,561 --> 01:25:34,823
About a half an hour.
1684
01:25:34,996 --> 01:25:36,987
I'm good. I'm gonna--
I'm getting it.
1685
01:25:37,165 --> 01:25:38,223
Poor bastard.
1686
01:25:38,399 --> 01:25:40,367
Fucking so good.
1687
01:25:40,535 --> 01:25:41,832
Hang in there, buddy.
1688
01:25:42,003 --> 01:25:43,163
Almost there.
1689
01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:46,603
Yeah. Yes. Yes!
1690
01:25:46,774 --> 01:25:48,571
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm coming.
1691
01:25:48,743 --> 01:25:51,234
Yes! Oh, yes!
1692
01:25:51,412 --> 01:25:53,004
Yes, yes, yes!
1693
01:25:53,181 --> 01:25:56,014
Oh, yes! Yes!
1694
01:25:56,184 --> 01:25:58,482
Yes!
1695
01:26:18,573 --> 01:26:21,371
Hey! Good morning, everybody.
1696
01:26:21,543 --> 01:26:23,568
So look what I got.
1697
01:26:23,745 --> 01:26:26,213
Commemorative Labor Day
orgy T-shirts right here.
1698
01:26:26,381 --> 01:26:27,712
Pink and blue.
1699
01:26:27,882 --> 01:26:29,975
Unisex,
1 00 percent cotton.
1700
01:26:30,151 --> 01:26:31,209
You made T-shirts?
1701
01:26:31,386 --> 01:26:32,785
Yup. Laura.
1702
01:26:35,590 --> 01:26:36,955
Where are we gonna
wear these?
1703
01:26:37,125 --> 01:26:39,593
Anywhere.
What do you mean?
1704
01:26:40,161 --> 01:26:43,562
Jesus Christ, l
am hung over like a madman.
1705
01:26:44,899 --> 01:26:47,094
All right, ladies.
Ladies, I got one--
1706
01:26:47,268 --> 01:26:48,792
One easy question for all of you.
1707
01:26:49,337 --> 01:26:52,568
Overall,
where would you rank me?
1708
01:26:52,740 --> 01:26:54,139
Just have a bagel and relax.
1709
01:26:54,309 --> 01:26:56,777
Listen, I need to know.
I just-- I need to know.
1710
01:26:56,945 --> 01:27:00,745
Well, for me,
there was one clear winner.
1711
01:27:00,915 --> 01:27:04,476
Okay, I know, good. Eric. Blah, blah.
Big surprise. What about this guy?
1712
01:27:04,652 --> 01:27:07,746
-I was gonna say Adam.
-Adam.
1713
01:27:07,922 --> 01:27:09,150
What?
1714
01:27:09,324 --> 01:27:11,815
For a neurotic hypochondriac
with panic attacks...
1715
01:27:11,993 --> 01:27:14,461
...he was really uninhibited.
1716
01:27:14,629 --> 01:27:16,927
So what? Out of the four dudes
in the house...
1717
01:27:17,098 --> 01:27:20,329
...I didn't even rank in the top two?
That's what you're telling me?
1718
01:27:20,501 --> 01:27:21,627
Didn't I do my move?
1719
01:27:21,803 --> 01:27:24,499
The move with the fingers
and the tongue? The Thoosh?
1720
01:27:24,872 --> 01:27:26,464
-Laura.
-You did it.
1721
01:27:26,641 --> 01:27:29,610
-I thooshed you. I know I did.
-You don't need to do it now.
1722
01:27:29,777 --> 01:27:31,438
We don't need to see it again.
1723
01:27:31,613 --> 01:27:33,308
Yeah. Can we just eat breakfast?
1724
01:27:36,117 --> 01:27:37,141
It's Marcus.
1725
01:27:40,588 --> 01:27:41,953
Hello?
1726
01:27:42,957 --> 01:27:44,788
Oh, tell him how much
we missed him.
1727
01:27:46,628 --> 01:27:48,118
-Hey.
-Everybody's up.
1728
01:27:48,296 --> 01:27:49,320
Hey.
1729
01:27:49,497 --> 01:27:50,691
Morning.
1730
01:27:50,865 --> 01:27:53,299
Hey, man, about the shit
that went down last night--
1731
01:27:53,468 --> 01:27:54,560
Dude. Oh, shit.
1732
01:27:54,736 --> 01:27:57,830
I'm sorry if I did anything weird to
you or Willow, any thooshing.
1733
01:27:58,006 --> 01:27:59,496
Anything like that. I'm sorry.
1734
01:27:59,674 --> 01:28:02,142
I was so fucking hammered,
I don't remember anything.
1735
01:28:02,310 --> 01:28:03,334
Seriously, nothing?
1736
01:28:03,511 --> 01:28:05,502
-You don't remember anything?
-No.
1737
01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:09,207
Nothing. I remember the fucking
absinthe shots and then that's it.
1738
01:28:09,384 --> 01:28:11,818
I'm so bummed, that was
gonna be spank fodder...
1739
01:28:11,986 --> 01:28:13,817
...for the next 20 years of my life.
1740
01:28:13,988 --> 01:28:16,320
-Total fucking blackout.
-Thank God.
1741
01:28:16,491 --> 01:28:17,719
Amen.
1742
01:28:17,892 --> 01:28:18,984
I got something for you.
1743
01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,219
-Holy shit!
-Dougie.
1744
01:28:21,396 --> 01:28:23,057
I did it. I got more coming.
1745
01:28:23,231 --> 01:28:25,028
Oh, my God, dude,
this is major.
1746
01:28:27,035 --> 01:28:29,868
I wanted hat, but he was
so passionate about no hat.
1747
01:28:30,038 --> 01:28:32,029
-No fucking hat.
-Good shit, man.
1748
01:28:32,206 --> 01:28:34,333
I still would've
Photoshopped in the dudes...
1749
01:28:34,509 --> 01:28:36,670
...schnizzing on your face.
But it's just me.
1750
01:28:36,844 --> 01:28:38,243
You made fucking shirts.
Fuck.
1751
01:28:38,413 --> 01:28:40,847
Yeah. Hey, Willow,
grab one of those.
1752
01:28:41,015 --> 01:28:42,846
It's blue and pink,
my favorite.
1753
01:28:43,017 --> 01:28:45,918
-A medium. Awesome.
-It's the Breakfast Club.
1754
01:28:46,087 --> 01:28:49,853
Oh, there he is. Sam Rockwell.
1755
01:28:50,024 --> 01:28:51,685
Yeah, there you go.
1756
01:28:53,027 --> 01:28:55,860
Thank you, I'm sorry,
and you're welcome.
1757
01:28:58,099 --> 01:28:59,862
Still a little sore.
1758
01:29:02,804 --> 01:29:03,862
Hey.
1759
01:29:05,239 --> 01:29:07,764
Yeah, I think
we're headed down shortly.
1760
01:29:08,710 --> 01:29:10,473
Yeah, I'll see you there.
1761
01:29:11,612 --> 01:29:14,046
-That was Kelly.
-Slut.
1762
01:29:15,216 --> 01:29:16,581
She's...
1763
01:29:16,751 --> 01:29:18,582
...headed to the beach.
I'm gonna meet her.
1764
01:29:18,753 --> 01:29:21,745
That's gonna be some awkward shit.
I wanna be front-row center.
1765
01:29:21,923 --> 01:29:23,550
-Let's do it.
-I'm there.
1766
01:29:24,992 --> 01:29:27,051
Give the ticks a goodbye hug
for me, please?
1767
01:29:27,228 --> 01:29:29,219
-I will do so.
-Okay.
1768
01:29:34,736 --> 01:29:38,137
I can stay here
and hang out with you if--
1769
01:29:38,306 --> 01:29:40,103
Yeah, yes.
1770
01:29:40,274 --> 01:29:41,400
Okay.
1771
01:29:41,576 --> 01:29:44,943
We could take a dip
in the pool or something.
1772
01:29:45,113 --> 01:29:47,240
Oh, the-- Yeah.
I don't know about the pool...
1773
01:29:47,415 --> 01:29:50,441
...after what happened
in there last night.
1774
01:29:51,119 --> 01:29:53,917
But you wanna
do the crossword with me?
1775
01:29:54,756 --> 01:29:56,087
I'd love that.
1776
01:29:58,292 --> 01:30:00,061
1 6 Across.
1777
01:30:01,295 --> 01:30:04,287
So, what happened
with you-know-who?
1778
01:30:04,465 --> 01:30:07,434
Marcus apologized. He wants
to go to couples' therapy.
1779
01:30:07,602 --> 01:30:08,864
You're getting
back together?
1780
01:30:09,036 --> 01:30:12,267
We're gonna go to city hall, get
married, see if we can make it work.
1781
01:30:12,440 --> 01:30:14,738
-What the fuck?
-Just kidding.
1782
01:30:15,777 --> 01:30:19,713
-Okay.
-Yeah, no, it's totally over.
1783
01:30:19,881 --> 01:30:21,815
Nice. I'm proud of you.
1784
01:30:21,983 --> 01:30:23,280
Thanks, Sue.
1785
01:30:23,451 --> 01:30:25,783
That's too bad.
I always liked that guy.
1786
01:30:26,487 --> 01:30:28,546
God, I hope
Kate has some guys for us.
1787
01:30:28,756 --> 01:30:30,781
Hell, I'd even go to Hoboken.
1788
01:30:30,958 --> 01:30:34,052
I mean, if he's really amazing,
I'd consider going to Jersey City.
1789
01:30:34,262 --> 01:30:35,286
Oh, you would not.
1790
01:30:35,463 --> 01:30:37,454
I'm just making a point.
1791
01:30:37,632 --> 01:30:40,294
So Eric, last night...
1792
01:30:40,468 --> 01:30:41,992
...some things came up.
1793
01:30:42,170 --> 01:30:44,638
Yeah, I swear. I had no idea.
1794
01:30:44,806 --> 01:30:47,001
No, it's fine, really.
It was just something...
1795
01:30:47,175 --> 01:30:49,143
...that I needed
to get out of my system.
1796
01:30:56,517 --> 01:30:58,314
I hope she likes
my sloppy seconds.
1797
01:30:58,486 --> 01:31:00,351
Oh, come on.
1798
01:31:01,389 --> 01:31:04,381
-Morning, Kelly.
-Hey. Morning, Eric.
1799
01:31:04,559 --> 01:31:06,322
Hey. Hey.
1800
01:31:06,494 --> 01:31:08,359
Hi, I'm Mike.
We haven't officially met.
1801
01:31:08,529 --> 01:31:10,656
-Nice to meet you.
-Oh, wait, Mike.
1802
01:31:10,832 --> 01:31:13,858
Right. You're the guy
that Dody was asking about.
1803
01:31:14,035 --> 01:31:17,493
She wanted your number for some
kind of business thing or something?
1804
01:31:19,574 --> 01:31:22,008
What the fuck?
Give her my digits, all right?
1805
01:31:22,176 --> 01:31:24,201
Nice to meet you.
1806
01:31:24,378 --> 01:31:28,007
Let loose the Kraken. Yeah.
1807
01:31:28,182 --> 01:31:30,673
So wow. Okay.
1808
01:31:30,885 --> 01:31:32,580
-About last night.
-How about this?
1809
01:31:32,753 --> 01:31:34,584
-What?
-How about this about last night?
1810
01:31:34,755 --> 01:31:37,849
We never talk about it
ever, ever again.
1811
01:31:38,526 --> 01:31:40,084
It never happened. All right?
1812
01:31:40,728 --> 01:31:42,457
You and I have just met.
1813
01:31:42,630 --> 01:31:45,064
We're starting fresh
right here, right now.
1814
01:31:46,701 --> 01:31:48,191
-Done.
-Done.
1815
01:31:48,369 --> 01:31:49,529
-Hi.
-Hi.
1816
01:31:49,704 --> 01:31:51,194
-I'm Kelly.
-Hi, Kelly. I'm Eric.
1817
01:31:51,372 --> 01:31:53,203
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
1818
01:32:08,489 --> 01:32:09,547
Come in!
1819
01:32:12,560 --> 01:32:13,925
Your BlackBerry.
1820
01:32:14,095 --> 01:32:16,791
Just an empty,
symbolic gesture.
1821
01:32:16,964 --> 01:32:18,454
I'm getting a new one
on Tuesday.
1822
01:32:18,633 --> 01:32:21,932
But that did feel really,
really good.
1823
01:32:22,103 --> 01:32:23,934
So this is the beach, huh?
1824
01:32:24,105 --> 01:32:25,595
Pretty beautiful. Who knew?
1825
01:32:25,773 --> 01:32:27,741
-This is it.
-Let's go on.
1826
01:32:29,610 --> 01:32:31,578
Come in!
1827
01:32:33,514 --> 01:32:35,277
Okay, listen.
I've got some bad news.
1828
01:32:35,449 --> 01:32:36,973
-You're al Qaeda.
-No.
1829
01:32:37,151 --> 01:32:39,483
You know the delay I pulled
with closing the house?
1830
01:32:39,654 --> 01:32:41,588
It spooked the buyers
and they pulled out.
1831
01:32:42,823 --> 01:32:44,450
-The house isn't sold?
-No.
1832
01:32:46,827 --> 01:32:48,761
-Are you mad?
-No. No, no, no.
1833
01:32:48,930 --> 01:32:50,420
Will you hold on
a sec though?
1834
01:32:50,598 --> 01:32:51,690
-Hey, guys!
-Yeah?
1835
01:32:51,899 --> 01:32:54,459
Quick announcement.
I have a really shitty Realtor.
1836
01:32:54,635 --> 01:32:56,603
-Fire her.
-And she blew the deal.
1837
01:32:56,771 --> 01:32:58,602
And the house still isn't sold.
1838
01:33:03,110 --> 01:33:04,441
-They're pissed.
-They're mad.
1839
01:33:04,645 --> 01:33:06,670
-Great, now they're pissed.
-They're mad.
1840
01:33:06,847 --> 01:33:10,476
Now I gotta start thinking of
something to do for Memorial Day.
1841
01:33:10,651 --> 01:33:13,119
We've been kicking around
this idea for a brown party.
1842
01:33:13,287 --> 01:33:15,278
You know brown clothes,
brown food.
1843
01:33:17,291 --> 01:33:19,350
Hey, you guys
remember Kelly, right?
1844
01:33:59,100 --> 01:34:00,226
What do you want?
1845
01:34:00,401 --> 01:34:02,062
Password's roundelay.
1846
01:34:02,236 --> 01:34:03,328
Who's your connection?
1847
01:34:03,504 --> 01:34:05,062
Dody Henderson. She's our Realtor.
1848
01:34:05,239 --> 01:34:07,173
Oh, Dody. Yeah, she's in the swing.
1849
01:34:07,341 --> 01:34:09,866
Come on in. Come on, you too.
1850
01:34:13,681 --> 01:34:16,172
Yeah. Okay.
1851
01:35:07,768 --> 01:35:08,792
What?!
1852
01:36:48,169 --> 01:36:49,830
That's tough.
1853
01:36:52,830 --> 01:36:56,830
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