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1
00:00:00,799 --> 00:00:03,338
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
2
00:00:03,603 --> 00:00:06,263
Oof! Why am I doing
all the heavy lifting
3
00:00:06,264 --> 00:00:09,572
while you're on the floor folding
paper like a Japanese princess?
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,042
Assembling this display
is no walk in the park...
5
00:00:12,044 --> 00:00:15,596
he said, ignoring his paper cut!
6
00:00:15,714 --> 00:00:17,814
There you go.
Hope I didn't lose a finger.
7
00:00:17,816 --> 00:00:19,516
I hope you did.
8
00:00:21,453 --> 00:00:24,794
Well, I believe we earned
a refreshing beverage.
9
00:00:27,558 --> 00:00:29,324
What's so military about this?
10
00:00:29,326 --> 00:00:31,160
I thought it would be more...
11
00:00:31,162 --> 00:00:32,862
...explode-y.
12
00:00:33,998 --> 00:00:35,698
Hi-yaa!
13
00:00:37,434 --> 00:00:40,302
Oh, sorry. I thought we
were getting Red Dawn-ed.
14
00:00:40,304 --> 00:00:42,070
No, but good to know
you can pop a squat
15
00:00:42,072 --> 00:00:43,538
if World War III breaks out.
16
00:00:43,539 --> 00:00:45,107
It's a promotion for a new soda.
17
00:00:45,108 --> 00:00:47,843
Thought I'd give it a whirl,
since it came with six free cases.
18
00:00:47,844 --> 00:00:50,279
- How does it taste?
- Free.
19
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,247
Pretty unrealistic portrayal
of the male physique,
20
00:00:52,249 --> 00:00:54,316
- wouldn't you say?
- I'm more concerned
21
00:00:54,317 --> 00:00:55,717
with him going into
battle shirtless.
22
00:00:55,718 --> 00:00:58,270
I dunno. Those abs look like
they could stop a bullet.
23
00:00:58,305 --> 00:01:00,654
The real problem
is charging in with no gonch.
24
00:01:00,656 --> 00:01:02,389
No gonch?
How can you tell?
25
00:01:02,391 --> 00:01:03,691
He's a Commander.
26
00:01:03,692 --> 00:01:05,845
Where do you think
"commando" comes from?
27
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,893
Oh... then I guess you
can call me Commander Hank.
28
00:01:10,365 --> 00:01:12,966
And you can call me queasy.
29
00:01:15,337 --> 00:01:16,870
Get your hands
out of your pockets.
30
00:01:16,871 --> 00:01:20,406
? You think
there's not a lot going on ?
31
00:01:20,408 --> 00:01:21,942
? Look closer, baby ?
32
00:01:21,943 --> 00:01:23,709
? You're so wrong ?
33
00:01:24,495 --> 00:01:27,626
1x11 ? Smoke-a-Cola
34
00:01:27,882 --> 00:01:30,017
Buenos d�as, amigas.
C�mo est�s?
35
00:01:30,018 --> 00:01:33,351
Two weeks in Cuba, and
suddenly she's Chita Rivera.
36
00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:36,322
Cuba sounds great.
Better than my vacation.
37
00:01:36,323 --> 00:01:37,223
Oh, you took a trip?
38
00:01:37,224 --> 00:01:39,658
- Where? When?
- Here. Now.
39
00:01:39,659 --> 00:01:41,459
I had three extra
vacation days banked,
40
00:01:41,461 --> 00:01:44,363
and it's a "use 'em or lose 'em"
type of situation.
41
00:01:44,364 --> 00:01:46,498
I guess the upside is I've
been able to binge-watch
42
00:01:46,499 --> 00:01:48,233
this whole season of Battle Brides.
43
00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:50,735
Battle Brides?
That's my favourite show.
44
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:55,005
I don't like reality shows.
I prefer actual reality.
45
00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:58,843
Like deep conversations on the
white sandy beaches of Varadero,
46
00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:02,346
listening to salsa music
while smoking delicious cigars.
47
00:02:02,348 --> 00:02:06,683
- You like cigars?
- Yes, I love the rich, brown,
48
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:10,353
musky aroma, full body...
49
00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:12,488
Buenos d�as, beautiful lady.
50
00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:15,258
Pardon the muskiness of my full body.
51
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,927
Would you like to buy a box of...
52
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,730
...of cigars.
I'm talking about the cigars.
53
00:02:19,731 --> 00:02:22,666
- Did you bring any back?
- Oh. Yeah, a couple.
54
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:24,466
What?
Chicks don't smoke cigars!
55
00:02:24,468 --> 00:02:28,737
- I smoke cigars.
- I said chicks, not my friend's mom.
56
00:02:28,739 --> 00:02:31,539
Now you're about to get smoked.
57
00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:33,441
Okay, crazy idea.
58
00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:35,410
Tomorrow, we get together,
smoke cigars,
59
00:02:35,412 --> 00:02:37,512
and watch the Battle Brides finale.
60
00:02:37,514 --> 00:02:39,314
I'd feel like I was still on vacation.
61
00:02:39,316 --> 00:02:41,883
We get it.
You had an actual vacation.
62
00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:44,519
- Count me in.
- Great! But can we watch something
63
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,553
other than a stupid bride show?
64
00:02:46,555 --> 00:02:48,455
Sorry, Hank.
Cigar-smoking chicks only.
65
00:02:48,457 --> 00:02:51,982
C'mon, I'll... I'll wear gonch!
66
00:02:54,864 --> 00:02:57,231
What is it that bugs me
about that guy?
67
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,132
That you'll never look as good
68
00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:00,234
- as a piece of cardboard?
- That's it.
69
00:03:00,235 --> 00:03:02,235
I don't know. Studies have shown
70
00:03:02,237 --> 00:03:04,070
that you can make a big
difference in your physique
71
00:03:04,072 --> 00:03:07,474
- by doing one simple activity per day.
- Yeah, right.
72
00:03:07,475 --> 00:03:10,710
Oh, look at me.
I'm doing three push-ups in a row.
73
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:13,836
I'm Dwayne "The Rock" Carrot Top.
74
00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:17,517
Jeez. Maybe you're right.
I do feel different.
75
00:03:17,518 --> 00:03:19,920
- Oh, my face is crying.
- That's sweat.
76
00:03:19,921 --> 00:03:23,023
Ew. But look.
I'm stronger already.
77
00:03:24,926 --> 00:03:27,928
Hm. Maybe there is something
that is working-out thing.
78
00:03:27,929 --> 00:03:30,863
Oops.
Hulk not know own strength.
79
00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:34,451
Oh. Oh...
80
00:03:35,268 --> 00:03:40,704
Those are impressive.
A woman could get lost in there...
81
00:03:40,706 --> 00:03:43,308
All right, back off, jar-head.
I got work to do.
82
00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:45,944
Why aren't ya inside with Karen?
83
00:03:45,946 --> 00:03:48,646
Don't wanna remind her of
work while she's on vaycay.
84
00:03:48,648 --> 00:03:52,983
With her off duty, it's just me
keeping an eye on the mean streets.
85
00:03:52,985 --> 00:03:55,018
Dog River
doesn't have any mean streets.
86
00:03:57,990 --> 00:04:00,490
Hey!
What're you trying to do, kill me?
87
00:04:00,492 --> 00:04:04,127
At worst, we have some
uncaring boulevards.
88
00:04:06,230 --> 00:04:07,948
Hey, Davis!
Do something about
89
00:04:07,949 --> 00:04:09,732
the curbs around here.
They're too damn high!
90
00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:13,002
'Cause that's what cops do.
Shave down curbs.
91
00:04:13,904 --> 00:04:15,839
Hey, Oscar.
If you're going to go to Corner Gas,
92
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,441
grab me a lottery ticket.
93
00:04:17,442 --> 00:04:20,776
Karen usually picks them for
us 'cause I have terrible luck.
94
00:04:20,778 --> 00:04:24,612
I didn't think you could
get any more useless.
95
00:04:24,614 --> 00:04:26,514
Here's your damn scratch and sniff.
96
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,317
I hope you lose,
you lazy, non-curb-shaving,
97
00:04:29,319 --> 00:04:30,686
unlucky ticket picking...
98
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,188
That's some top-notch muttering, Oscar.
99
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,292
Hey! I won two dollars!
All right!
100
00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:39,561
We did it!
I'll take my half in cash.
101
00:04:39,562 --> 00:04:42,829
- Your half?
- I-I picked the ticket, I should get half,
102
00:04:42,831 --> 00:04:46,441
- you cheap, stingy, ticket-scratching...
- Fine.
103
00:04:48,504 --> 00:04:50,204
Why are you suddenly all Patrick Swayze?
104
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,507
I don't get the reference.
I'm not dancing, molding clay,
105
00:04:53,509 --> 00:04:55,275
cross-dressing, or undercover surfing.
106
00:04:55,277 --> 00:04:57,644
- No sleeves.
- Oh, Roadhousing.
107
00:04:57,645 --> 00:05:01,080
Yeah, I rolled them up as a precaution
before my biceps shred them.
108
00:05:01,082 --> 00:05:03,616
Don't want anyone to lose
an eye due to shirt shards.
109
00:05:03,618 --> 00:05:07,487
Right? Wanda?
Is there something wrong with
110
00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:08,888
the Commander Cola cutout?
111
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,858
- You keep staring at it.
- Huh? No! Who did?
112
00:05:11,859 --> 00:05:14,427
- And why are you wearing lipstick?
- Shut up!
113
00:05:14,428 --> 00:05:17,595
- My lips are chapped.
- Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
114
00:05:17,597 --> 00:05:20,533
Gimme another scratch and win.
I'm on a roll!
115
00:05:20,534 --> 00:05:22,634
Give him two.
I'm riding his roll.
116
00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:25,703
Pick 'em and weep.
I mean, good luck.
117
00:05:27,374 --> 00:05:29,642
Ah well. End of the roll.
Fun's over.
118
00:05:29,643 --> 00:05:33,378
Holy hell, I won a hundred bucks!
119
00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:36,813
? I'm Richy Richard
Richardson the Richest! ?
120
00:05:36,815 --> 00:05:40,551
- I'll take my 50 in cash.
- My fat Aunt Fanny you will.
121
00:05:40,553 --> 00:05:44,221
I gave you half my winnings,
so you give me half yours.
122
00:05:44,223 --> 00:05:46,690
You ungrateful, underhanded,
good for nothing...
123
00:05:46,692 --> 00:05:49,393
Is he muttering more than usual?
Dad, it sounds like
124
00:05:49,394 --> 00:05:51,327
Davis is being completely
reasonable here.
125
00:05:51,329 --> 00:05:54,264
He... he didn't...
126
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,824
Wanda's wearing lipstick!
127
00:05:57,969 --> 00:06:00,403
So we can't have the party at
Karen's because of the smoke,
128
00:06:00,405 --> 00:06:02,972
can't have it at my place
because I don't have cable,
129
00:06:02,974 --> 00:06:05,740
and can't have it at
Emma's, because... Oscar.
130
00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:08,644
- We can have it at my place.
- One, you're not invited.
131
00:06:08,645 --> 00:06:11,914
Two, your place stinks.
Three, you're Hank.
132
00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:14,849
Numbers one and three aside,
my place does smell.
133
00:06:14,851 --> 00:06:17,286
If anything, cigar smoke
would make it better...
134
00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:19,088
and keep the insects away.
135
00:06:19,090 --> 00:06:21,523
Have you ever talked
anyone into anything?
136
00:06:21,525 --> 00:06:22,891
The hotel bar!
137
00:06:22,892 --> 00:06:26,261
Phil just installed a new projector
and screen for movie night.
138
00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:31,833
- C'mon, Oscar! This isn't fair.
- So call a cop.
139
00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:33,534
Don't know... how long...
140
00:06:33,536 --> 00:06:36,138
- arms will hold...
- Take it down a notch.
141
00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:38,498
You guys are overreacting to...
142
00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:41,441
Nooo!
143
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,478
This isn't over, Oscar!
144
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,315
His arm!
His beautiful, bumpy arm!
145
00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:53,089
- It's completely ripped!
- I know how he feels.
146
00:06:57,425 --> 00:06:58,725
Hey, Phil.
147
00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:01,228
Can we have a cigar and Battle
Brides party here tomorrow night?
148
00:07:01,229 --> 00:07:03,962
Sure. So long as "Officer By-law" here
149
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:05,998
overlooks the no-smoking rules.
150
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,435
- Meh. I'm on vacation.
- Great!
151
00:07:08,436 --> 00:07:12,004
Battle Brides is on at 8:00,
so get that projection screen ready.
152
00:07:12,006 --> 00:07:15,907
- Can't. Hank ruined the screen.
- What? When?
153
00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:18,809
Put 200 bucks on my tab!
154
00:07:22,482 --> 00:07:24,650
Hey, Phil.
Can we have a cigar
155
00:07:24,651 --> 00:07:26,685
and Battle Brides party
here tomorrow night?
156
00:07:26,686 --> 00:07:29,954
- Not long ago.
- Great. Now we have no choice
157
00:07:29,956 --> 00:07:33,790
- but to have the party at Hank's place.
- Well, well, well.
158
00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:36,860
Look who came crawling
back to old Hanky.
159
00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:39,879
I mean, we're going to have so much fun!
160
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:43,433
Who'd have thought that cigars
could bring the girls together?
161
00:07:43,435 --> 00:07:46,236
It's like I brought my
vacation home with me.
162
00:07:46,238 --> 00:07:49,139
Oh, fine, I'll bite.
Whatcha doing, Brent?
163
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:51,073
I used to just swivel for fun,
164
00:07:51,075 --> 00:07:54,044
but now I can feel it working
my core. Wanda was right.
165
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,580
Small changes go a long way
to getting fit.
166
00:07:56,581 --> 00:07:58,081
This morning, I did one squat,
167
00:07:58,082 --> 00:07:59,915
and I can already see a difference.
168
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:03,153
Yeah, I see squat, all right.
But isn't all that cola,
169
00:08:03,154 --> 00:08:05,854
which you didn't purchase
here, by the way, fattening?
170
00:08:05,855 --> 00:08:06,855
Oh, sure, the cola has sugar,
171
00:08:06,856 --> 00:08:10,692
but the sugar gives me the energy
to burn off the sugar.
172
00:08:10,694 --> 00:08:13,528
I'm calorie neutral.
Like Sweden.
173
00:08:17,534 --> 00:08:21,468
Shh.
You're going to be just fine, soldier.
174
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,774
Tell me about the place you grew up.
175
00:08:29,445 --> 00:08:32,246
? Richy Richardson,
the Richest of the Richy Riches ?
176
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,083
Hmm.
177
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:37,818
Jaywalking is a $50 fine.
178
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:41,987
Or you could just give me
my half of the lottery winnings.
179
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,825
You're not getting a cent
of my money!
180
00:08:44,826 --> 00:08:47,196
And neither are you!
181
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:51,312
Well, look who's up already.
182
00:08:51,314 --> 00:08:55,114
You certainly have better colour today.
183
00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:58,184
A-Are you flirting with me, mister?
184
00:08:59,087 --> 00:09:01,521
Ooh, someone's excited.
185
00:09:04,393 --> 00:09:05,727
Hey, Emma!
186
00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:08,762
How many new teeth can I
get for a hundred bucks?
187
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:12,264
Oh no. If you think you're
trapping me into a second wedding,
188
00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:13,900
you got another thing coming.
189
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,835
Why would I want a second wedding
190
00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:17,870
when I'm not done regretting the first?
191
00:09:17,872 --> 00:09:21,207
This is for the Battle Brides party.
192
00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:22,642
Emma.
193
00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:26,044
I'm here to collect $50,
or Oscar's going to jail.
194
00:09:26,046 --> 00:09:30,348
- Oscar, get your shoes on.
- I'm not giving nothing to that scratch and loser!
195
00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:34,185
Why don't you two idiots spend
the money on more tickets?
196
00:09:34,187 --> 00:09:37,389
Agree to split whatever you
win, and be done with it.
197
00:09:37,391 --> 00:09:38,624
Hmm...
198
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:40,892
That would make the
jaywalking fine go away.
199
00:09:40,894 --> 00:09:43,727
Okay, but I pick the tickets.
200
00:09:43,729 --> 00:09:48,294
Am I the only one with
any brains around here?
201
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:50,367
Aah!
202
00:09:52,938 --> 00:09:54,971
You going to arm-wrestle
that thing all day,
203
00:09:54,973 --> 00:10:00,109
- or pump some gas?
- My eyes are up here, ladies.
204
00:10:05,149 --> 00:10:09,084
- How long is this going to take?
- As long as you like.
205
00:10:10,455 --> 00:10:12,922
The gas fumes have
finally gotten to Brent.
206
00:10:12,924 --> 00:10:15,558
Just like his old man.
207
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,493
Rrr!
208
00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:21,464
- Oh, my.
- Who is this? Commander Cola.
209
00:10:21,465 --> 00:10:25,099
Well, he can shimmy
into my foxhole any day.
210
00:10:25,101 --> 00:10:27,335
If I knew the military looked like this,
211
00:10:27,337 --> 00:10:29,270
I wouldn't have dodged the draft.
212
00:10:29,272 --> 00:10:32,174
You didn't have to dodge the draft.
You're a woman.
213
00:10:32,175 --> 00:10:35,209
That's right.
A woman.
214
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:37,077
Hey! You two floozies
going to buy something,
215
00:10:37,079 --> 00:10:38,447
or you're just going to hang around,
216
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,414
drooling like a couple
of high school hussies?
217
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:43,485
Just 'cause there's snow
on the roof doesn't mean...
218
00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:46,349
Take your snowy roofs and powder.
219
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:51,730
And don't stand there grinning
like you had nothing to do with it.
220
00:10:52,594 --> 00:10:54,870
And put on a damn shirt!
221
00:10:56,932 --> 00:11:01,000
Welcome to Casa Del
House of Hank's House.
222
00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:04,804
Everything is ready for
the big party... inside.
223
00:11:06,341 --> 00:11:10,042
- What exactly did you do to get ready?
- I'm wearing pants, ain't I?
224
00:11:10,043 --> 00:11:12,911
Whatever, let's get this show
on the road to holy matrimony!
225
00:11:12,913 --> 00:11:16,048
Why don't we leave the TV
off for now and enjoy a cigar
226
00:11:16,049 --> 00:11:17,717
in the company of good friends?
227
00:11:19,319 --> 00:11:21,019
Hey, I didn't know I had a cat.
228
00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:24,255
Huh. Probably why I haven't
seen as many rats around lately.
229
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,995
No.
I'm not jealous.
230
00:11:29,996 --> 00:11:32,096
I was just worried
you might catch a cold
231
00:11:32,098 --> 00:11:34,832
by that drafty door.
232
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:37,735
I'm not trying to change you.
233
00:11:37,737 --> 00:11:41,005
Well, if you don't want
to wear it, take it off.
234
00:11:41,007 --> 00:11:43,574
Oh, the silent treatment?
Hmph.
235
00:11:43,575 --> 00:11:46,102
Well, two can play that game, hot stuff.
236
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:50,882
- Hello?
- Do you mind?
237
00:11:50,883 --> 00:11:52,349
Trying to win a war here.
238
00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:55,451
Fine. I'll get my own
scratch and win tickets.
239
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,254
- Ow!
- Pick 'em and get out.
240
00:11:57,255 --> 00:11:58,355
I'm in the middle of a domestic.
241
00:11:58,356 --> 00:12:01,525
Ooh, get the Leprechaun.
Scratchie O'Shamrock.
242
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:05,361
- Luck of the Irish.
- That's racist. I got a system.
243
00:12:05,362 --> 00:12:08,865
Yeah, stick to your system, Oscar.
Loyalty is important.
244
00:12:08,866 --> 00:12:11,735
- At least it is to some people!
- Quit yammering.
245
00:12:11,736 --> 00:12:14,970
You're jinxing my mojo.
Where's Brent?
246
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,908
All I'm saying is,
a few small changes yield big results.
247
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:21,443
I can train you if you're interested.
248
00:12:21,444 --> 00:12:23,945
And if we're not interested,
will you leave?
249
00:12:23,947 --> 00:12:25,647
Nope.
It's called commitment.
250
00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:28,983
Carbs equal energy.
251
00:12:31,421 --> 00:12:32,521
Aw, don't move those comics!
252
00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:35,722
They're scattered in alphabetical order!
253
00:12:35,724 --> 00:12:38,426
Don't touch the remotes!
I have a system!
254
00:12:38,427 --> 00:12:41,895
- Aah! What are you doing?
- Your milk is expired.
255
00:12:41,897 --> 00:12:44,517
I was making cheese!
256
00:12:45,568 --> 00:12:49,570
Aw, it was going to pair perfectly
with those crackers I found.
257
00:12:50,972 --> 00:12:53,739
Quit messing with my stuff!
258
00:12:57,912 --> 00:13:01,714
I'll start with the Western theme,
then move on to the fruit motif.
259
00:13:01,716 --> 00:13:05,551
Ha!
Wagon wheel! Wagon wheel!
260
00:13:05,553 --> 00:13:07,787
- Spaceship?
- That's a cow patty.
261
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,157
Well, it's still not a match.
262
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,325
Ooh, look!
I won a bag of chips!
263
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,426
Half a bag of chips.
264
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,763
Well, I'm closing up now.
265
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:22,166
But, look, I think we
both got carried away.
266
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,703
Things were said.
Feelings were hurt.
267
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,104
But I'm going to be mature,
take the high road,
268
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:30,814
and offer you a chance to apologize.
269
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,612
Ugh!
You military types are all the same.
270
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,947
You need the drama,
don't you, Hurt Locker?
271
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,649
Well, I can't live like this!
272
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,203
That's exactly where you belong!
273
00:13:43,421 --> 00:13:46,989
Oh, God, what have I done?
This isn't right.
274
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:51,460
There.
And you can keep the t-shirt.
275
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:54,596
It'll only remind me of you.
276
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,366
Now, power-walking like Wanda there
277
00:13:57,368 --> 00:13:59,167
is a good way to raise the heart rate,
278
00:13:59,169 --> 00:14:01,369
but that much rage can
also make it explode.
279
00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:05,206
Bit of a tightrope.
Okay, ready?
280
00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:08,745
- And we're done. Shake it out.
- That's it?
281
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:10,679
That was Brent's
Butt-Blaster Challenge?
282
00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:12,480
I said they were small changes.
283
00:14:14,217 --> 00:14:17,318
Nice power-walking, ladies.
But dial back that rage.
284
00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:19,965
You'll feel it in the morning.
285
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:24,058
This is the life.
Good friends, quality cigars,
286
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:26,527
and whatever this
liquid is Hank gave us.
287
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:27,863
Cheers!
288
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,366
Sorry I, uh, lost my head, ladies.
289
00:14:33,368 --> 00:14:39,188
Allow me to present you with my
specially prepared h'ordurvays.
290
00:14:39,223 --> 00:14:41,042
Aw!
Oh.
291
00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:42,976
It looks like chopped-up
wieners in popcorn.
292
00:14:42,978 --> 00:14:45,311
Yeah, my own invention, popdogs!
293
00:14:45,313 --> 00:14:49,112
I was going to call it "corndogs,"
but that was a legal can of worms.
294
00:14:49,147 --> 00:14:51,592
Ooh!
The brides are arriving in the limos.
295
00:14:51,627 --> 00:14:53,786
- Volume.
- Okay, the entertainment
296
00:14:53,787 --> 00:14:56,189
system is a tad complicated.
Try to keep up.
297
00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:59,292
If you want volume, use this one,
and press "source."
298
00:14:59,293 --> 00:15:02,361
- Then push "input 1" on this...
- No need.
299
00:15:02,362 --> 00:15:03,629
I programmed all of them
into your universal remote.
300
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:05,564
You can't use the universal remote!
301
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:08,315
I haven't bought a Universal yet!
302
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,601
And who fixed my lucky broken lamp?
303
00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:14,305
I'm starting to regret letting you guys
let me into this hen party.
304
00:15:14,307 --> 00:15:16,574
It's time to leave.
305
00:15:16,576 --> 00:15:19,677
Eh...
No, I was thinking you guys leave.
306
00:15:19,679 --> 00:15:22,662
Guess I should've been more specific.
307
00:15:22,697 --> 00:15:24,582
Hey!
Who fixed the door lock?
308
00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,778
Come on!
309
00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:28,752
Welcome to Battle Brides!
310
00:15:28,754 --> 00:15:31,387
We've watched it all season,
and it's come down to this.
311
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,890
Two brides enter.
312
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,591
One dream dies.
313
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,362
This is Battle Brides?
It looks awful!
314
00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:41,197
This is Battle Brides?
It looks awesome!
315
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,115
Here we go, Sondra.
Get in there
316
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,716
and tell her that
bouquet is so last season!
317
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,403
Yeah!
Ask her why her dad isn't there
318
00:15:53,404 --> 00:15:56,222
- to walk her down the aisle!
- Harsh.
319
00:15:56,257 --> 00:15:58,075
Whew!
Commercial break.
320
00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,790
How about we calm down
with some Cuban music
321
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,326
I brought back from my vacation?
322
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:05,630
Oh, isn't this better?
Maybe we can chat?
323
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,933
With each other?
Hey, Emma,
324
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,368
what was the best part
of your wedding night?
325
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,672
Oscar fell asleep early.
That was nice.
326
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,374
I've always imagined my wedding
to be on a beach somewhere,
327
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:20,445
- with a warm breeze, and...
- A punch to the head!
328
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:22,632
- No...
- It's back on.
329
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:25,044
Sondra punched the priest.
330
00:16:48,771 --> 00:16:51,606
Gaah?
Commander Cola?
331
00:16:51,608 --> 00:16:54,375
Wha...
How did you... ?
332
00:16:55,712 --> 00:16:59,647
And the prize for our lucky winners!
333
00:16:59,649 --> 00:17:02,218
Gimme.
It may be the only thing we won,
334
00:17:02,219 --> 00:17:04,051
but we're splitting it fair and square!
335
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:09,856
Oh, excuse me...
Oh, hello.
336
00:17:09,858 --> 00:17:12,192
Sergeant... Soda, wasn't it?
337
00:17:12,194 --> 00:17:13,694
Anyway, nice to see you again.
338
00:17:13,695 --> 00:17:17,409
- Looks like your arm has healed nicely.
- Can I help you, Wanda?
339
00:17:17,444 --> 00:17:18,833
I think you've done enough.
340
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,101
It didn't take you long to move on...
341
00:17:20,102 --> 00:17:23,269
- Pig.
- Quite the display, huh?
342
00:17:23,271 --> 00:17:25,338
Did you get one of
these at Corner Gas too?
343
00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:27,674
- Oh, so this is...
- Kind of creepy, eh?
344
00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:30,877
- I feel like he's always watching me.
- Don't flatter yourself.
345
00:17:30,878 --> 00:17:34,147
I mean, yeah,
super creepy and not sexy.
346
00:17:34,149 --> 00:17:37,955
- I'll get him out of here for you.
- Weirdo.
347
00:17:39,686 --> 00:17:41,719
This is some amazing smack-talk!
348
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:44,525
How long does the smack-talk last?
349
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,969
Till someone stops talking
and starts smacking!
350
00:17:51,865 --> 00:17:54,432
Ah! This is more like it.
351
00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:58,236
- Hey, wanna play something?
- Maybe. Any requests?
352
00:17:58,237 --> 00:18:00,237
Hmm. ..
Know any Pablo Milan�s?
353
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,309
No. I don't play guitar.
354
00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:06,656
I was gonna use this for kindling.
355
00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:11,249
Hey.
This one has three cherries.
356
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,184
- Doesn't that mean...
- It's a winner!
357
00:18:13,185 --> 00:18:15,419
- Two hundred bucks!
- I'm rich!
358
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,289
You mean I'm rich.
You two thought it was garbage.
359
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:20,424
I picked the ticket!
It's my money!
360
00:18:20,425 --> 00:18:22,225
We agreed to split
everything, remember?
361
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,527
How about we split it three ways?
362
00:18:24,529 --> 00:18:26,796
That's about 66 and change apiece.
363
00:18:26,798 --> 00:18:30,199
- Nice.
- All right!
364
00:18:30,201 --> 00:18:33,102
- There you go, boys.
- Uh, okay...
365
00:18:33,103 --> 00:18:36,705
There's the change.
You forgot the "66" part.
366
00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:39,241
Taking into account
your outstanding tabs,
367
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,045
- I'm being generous.
- Gimme a bag of chips.
368
00:18:43,046 --> 00:18:46,178
And this time, I'm not sharing.
369
00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:50,586
Welcome home, soldier.
I'm off for the night,
370
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,853
but here's a little
something for you to read
371
00:18:52,855 --> 00:18:55,589
if you get bored.
372
00:18:56,693 --> 00:18:59,393
Two hours of juicy
jabs and sleazy slams,
373
00:18:59,395 --> 00:19:03,463
- and now the main event!
- Here we go!
374
00:19:13,174 --> 00:19:15,074
That's it?
375
00:19:15,076 --> 00:19:17,911
That was a lot of hype and
build-up for zero payoff.
376
00:19:17,912 --> 00:19:21,781
- That's marriage, all right.
- Now what do we do?
377
00:19:23,384 --> 00:19:25,584
See, isn't this the best
kind of entertainment?
378
00:19:25,586 --> 00:19:28,487
Yup.
Best mandatory vacation ever.
379
00:19:28,489 --> 00:19:30,889
Can I take my pants off now?
380
00:19:30,891 --> 00:19:33,726
Whatever.
I've got my own entertainment.
381
00:19:35,162 --> 00:19:36,630
Stupid universe.
382
00:19:36,631 --> 00:19:41,180
Karen!
How do you work this thing?
383
00:19:43,442 --> 00:19:47,176
- You ever going to open those?
- Eat my winnings? No way.
384
00:19:47,178 --> 00:19:49,780
These chips are worth 66 bucks!
385
00:19:50,832 --> 00:19:52,532
Hey, is that Zeke?
386
00:19:54,035 --> 00:19:55,703
What the hell is he doing with a boat?
387
00:19:55,704 --> 00:19:58,172
Hey, Zeke!
Where'd you get that boat?
388
00:19:58,173 --> 00:20:01,374
I won it!
Bought the last leprechaun ticket!
389
00:20:01,376 --> 00:20:03,876
Thank you, Scratchie O'Shamrock!
390
00:20:03,878 --> 00:20:08,213
- Stupid Irish!
- Now, that's racist.
391
00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:12,051
Morning, Wanda.
Off to prom?
392
00:20:12,052 --> 00:20:13,052
None of your business.
393
00:20:13,053 --> 00:20:17,456
A gal doesn't need any special
reason to look her best. Aah!
394
00:20:17,457 --> 00:20:20,858
Oh yeah, that's the new display
for Screamin' Demon Diapers.
395
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:23,796
It's a weird name, until you
learn they're hellishly absorbent.
396
00:20:23,797 --> 00:20:26,465
- Where's Commander Cola?
- He shipped out.
397
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:29,066
- To war?
- No. Back to the distributor.
398
00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:31,068
Turns out that soda
hadn't been approved
399
00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:33,271
by the foodie druggie... approvers?
400
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:36,072
Anyway, it had unhealthy
levels of "tyrosine."
401
00:20:36,074 --> 00:20:40,277
Side effects include heightened
feelings of passion and delusion.
402
00:20:40,279 --> 00:20:42,979
In hindsight, that does
explain some odd behaviour.
403
00:20:42,981 --> 00:20:45,949
And emotions.
By certain people.
404
00:20:45,951 --> 00:20:48,586
- I'm going to go wash my face.
- Don't be sad.
405
00:20:48,587 --> 00:20:51,487
I heard Cap'n Crunch say
he thinks you're cute!
406
00:20:51,489 --> 00:20:54,056
I drank a lot of that soda too.
407
00:20:54,058 --> 00:20:56,326
Wonder why I didn't become delusional.
408
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:01,499
How you doin'?
409
00:21:04,452 --> 00:21:07,648
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
410
00:21:07,911 --> 00:21:09,112
? I don't know ?
411
00:21:09,113 --> 00:21:11,513
? The same things you don't know ?
412
00:21:15,052 --> 00:21:17,052
? I don't know ?
413
00:21:17,054 --> 00:21:19,988
? I just... don't know ?
414
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,692
? Ooh ?
415
00:21:24,694 --> 00:21:25,961
? It's a great big place ?
416
00:21:25,962 --> 00:21:28,229
? Ooh ?
417
00:21:28,231 --> 00:21:29,731
? Full of nothing but space ?
418
00:21:29,732 --> 00:21:32,066
? Ooh ?
419
00:21:32,068 --> 00:21:33,934
? It's my happy place ?
420
00:21:33,936 --> 00:21:34,869
? I don't know ?
421
00:21:34,870 --> 00:21:38,827
Visit us at cornergas.com
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