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1
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♪ I love myself
I want you to love me ♪
2
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,480
♪ When I feel down
I want you above me ♪
3
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,040
♪ I search myself
I want you to find me ♪
4
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,840
♪ I forget myself
I want you to remind me ♪
5
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:36,920
♪ I don't want ♪
6
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,480
My God! How?
7
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,320
By magic, of course.
8
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:49,160
♪ Oh-oh-oh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no ♪
9
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,200
♪ You're the one
Who makes me come runnin' ♪
10
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,000
♪ You're the sun who makes me shine ♪
11
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,240
♪ When you're around
I'm always laughin' ♪
12
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,120
♪ I want to make you mine ♪
13
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,040
♪ I close my eyes and see you before me ♪
14
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,920
♪ Think I would die
If you were to ignore me ♪
15
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,440
♪ A fool could see
Just how much I adore you ♪
16
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,080
♪ I'd get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you ♪
17
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,320
♪ I don't want anybody else ♪
18
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,080
Fuck!
19
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,320
♪ Oh-oh-oh, I don't want anybody else ♪
20
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:38,600
♪ Oh no, oh no, oh no ♪
21
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:42,120
♪ I don't want anybody else ♪
22
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,240
♪ When I think about you, I touch myself ♪
23
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:51,960
♪ I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no ♪
24
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:57,800
I'll be ten minutes, love.
25
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:14,440
Not now.
26
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,800
♪ I don't want anybody else ♪
27
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,840
♪ When I think about you, I touch myself ♪
28
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:27,800
♪ Oh-oh-oh, I don't want anybody else ♪
29
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,360
♪ When I think about you, I touch myself ♪
30
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,720
- Ah! Mum!
- Otis!
31
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,600
Oh, I'm sorry! Ah!
32
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,880
- What?
- Fuck! Stop!
33
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,680
I forgot my wallet.
34
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,440
- What happened yesterday...
- Mum.
35
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,640
...is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
36
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,560
Masturbating is normal and healthy,
37
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:23,320
and I am so proud that you are at
this stage of your pubescent development.
38
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,760
Okay, great.
Can we please not talk about it?
39
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,800
However, there is a time
and a place for such a...
40
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,360
- private activity.
- Mum!
41
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,880
And I'm not sure the car,
it being a shared space,
42
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:43,400
is the most appropriate choice
for such an event to occur.
43
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,760
Understood.
44
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:51,520
Revealing one's genitalia in public
is also a criminal offense.
45
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,000
I will not do it again.
46
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,480
I promise.
47
00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,840
Also, I've noticed you've been taking
very long showers lately.
48
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,600
Now, I know that the bathroom is a...
49
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:08,200
safe environment
in which to enjoy oneself,
50
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,640
but I live here too,
51
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,800
and I also need hot water.
52
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,800
So if you could please...
53
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,560
keep that in mind.
54
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,840
- Will do.
- Isn't it wonderful,
55
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,880
how we've been talking so much more openly
and honestly lately?
56
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,080
I have got to go.
57
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,520
Bye, darling.
58
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:31,680
Love you.
59
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:35,760
The coast is clear.
60
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,360
Thank you.
61
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,440
We have to tell them, Jean.
62
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,000
We will, just not yet.
63
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,320
Things have only just...
64
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,000
settled down between Otis and I, and...
65
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,000
Well, he's not ready yet.
66
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,800
Okay, but soon.
67
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,360
Mmm.
68
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,280
I think I have a problem.
69
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,800
My body has complete control over me.
70
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:08,400
You have discovered the wonders
of your own penis, my friend.
71
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,320
It's normal.
72
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,400
It's not normal.
73
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,201
Last night I looked at some cheese,
and I got an erection.
74
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,520
What type of cheese?
75
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,720
Brie.
76
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,880
But I swear, it could have been anything.
77
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,200
The other day, I was riding my bike,
and I get a boner out of nowhere.
78
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,720
Nothing but trees around me.
79
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,200
Corduroy trousers?
80
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,440
- Yeah, how did you know?
- Too much friction.
81
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,920
Why are you wanking so much?
You've got a girlfriend now.
82
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,960
- Ola and I are taking things slow.
- Dude,
83
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,760
you have the untapped sexual knowledge
of a tantric master.
84
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,080
- What are you waiting for?
- I don't know.
85
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,440
It's a lot of pressure, all right?
86
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,640
I have all the theory,
but in practice, I know nothing.
87
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,400
So what if Ola finds out
about your wank problem?
88
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,120
I thought you said it was normal?
89
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,000
Oh, shit.
90
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,400
Enjoy the poverty shuttle!
91
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,920
I know. I need to be better.
92
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,920
You want that sports scholarship,
don't you?
93
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,160
Yeah.
94
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,680
Well, push yourself a bit harder,
and we'll be halfway there.
95
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,520
I need to get to assembly, okay?
96
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,080
Still no news from Maeve then?
97
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,640
Nope. That is okay.
98
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,400
It's a new term.
No more clinic, no more drama.
99
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,800
You can't give it up.
100
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,640
Think of all the status
you're throwing away.
101
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:19,040
Knowing everyone's secret sex shame
isn't going to make me popular.
102
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,840
No, it's going to make you all-powerful.
103
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,320
Um, maybe don't mention
the whole clinic thing to Ola.
104
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,376
- She might think it's weird.
- 'Cause it was weird.
105
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,600
- Hey.
- Hi.
106
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,080
Oh, you guys are super cute,
but stop now, it's disgusting.
107
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,040
How are you feeling? You nervous?
108
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,120
Yeah, a little bit.
109
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,480
- Is there anything I should know about?
- Um, no, not really.
110
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,840
Nothing interesting ever happens
around here.
111
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,440
There's a plague!
112
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,320
Don't let them breathe on you.
113
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,656
Why does it look like
The Walking Dead in here?
114
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,680
- What is going on?
- Chlamydia. Everyone's got it.
115
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,520
One for a fiver, three for ten.
116
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,296
You can't catch chlamydia from the air.
You have to have had sexual contact
117
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,336
- with a carrier.
- Ssh!
118
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,720
They don't know that, do they?
Don't kill my business, man.
119
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,200
Simon. Simon! That is highly unethical.
120
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,080
I've got to go and meet my chaperone,
but I've got a free period after lunch.
121
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,840
- So do I.
- Do you want to hang at mine?
122
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,440
Yes. Yes, let's hang.
123
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,280
- Okay, see you later.
- Let's hang. See you.
124
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:19,720
- Bye.
- Bye.
125
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,600
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah! Yeah!
- Stop that.
126
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,600
We all know what "hang" is code for.
127
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,360
It is time to put the theory
into practice, my friend.
128
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,201
- You never know... Oh, my God.
- Sex kid! I think I've got chlamydia,
129
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,536
and I read that I should rub bleach
on my vagina, is that true?
130
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,760
I'm not giving out advice anymore,
but do not rub bleach
131
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,200
anywhere on your body.
132
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,800
- Go to your GP.
- Excuse me. Otto.
133
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,760
Can one get chlamydia of the eye?
134
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:42,840
Okay, it's Otis,
135
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,880
and if infected genital fluids
got into your eye, then, yes,
136
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,800
you can have chlamydia of the eye.
137
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,160
But I've never had sex.
138
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,560
It's probably conjunctivitis,
139
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,360
but I'm not giving advice anymore,
so go to your doctor, please.
140
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,800
- Uh, you have to help them.
- Why, it's...
141
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,000
- It's not the same without Maeve.
- Why? Her job is so easy.
142
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,920
It's just booking appointments
and taking money. I'll do it for you.
143
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,800
I got a B plus
in business studies last year.
144
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,856
- You never did business studies.
- That's irrelevant.
145
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,560
Let me guess,
you think you have chlamydia?
146
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,200
No. My girlfriend says
my cum tastes like kimchi.
147
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,800
Why do I have a fermented dick?
148
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,160
Well, the taste of semen varies
from person to person.
149
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,800
I can only suggest you have
a healthy and balanced diet.
150
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,200
However, I'm not giving advice anymore,
so you'll have to get help somewhere else.
151
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,280
Admit it. You like giving advice.
152
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,720
Listen, Maeve has moved on,
and so have I. That's it.
153
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,240
- Okay? End of story.
- Oh!
154
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,360
Why are you running
from your true calling?
155
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,496
- I'm not running.
- It's literally in your DNA, Otis.
156
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:35,600
Otis!
157
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,080
Yes, we are fully aware of the outbreak.
158
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,440
I can assure you it's, uh...
159
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,640
Oh! My dick!
160
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,560
...under control.
161
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,280
Ah, can I call you back, Mrs. Hanratty?
162
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,360
Thank you so much.
163
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,720
The chairman of the board is here.
She's heard about the situation.
164
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,920
Show her in.
165
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,480
Quickly! Quickly! And take that thing off.
166
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,040
- Ah! Maxine! What a pleasure to see you.
- In a bit of a pickle, are we?
167
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,440
Pick...
168
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,080
No, no, no.
Everything is completely under control.
169
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,080
I don't want to see
"Moordale Chlamydia Outbreak"
170
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,960
as a headline in the papers tomorrow.
171
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,720
So, what are we doing to neutralize this?
172
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,520
W...
173
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,440
Hm. Well, I am organizing an...
174
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,080
emergency parents' assembly tonight.
175
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,200
Uh, we will nip this in the bud.
176
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,400
Very good.
177
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:34,760
I'm walking now.
178
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,160
Call all the parents,
emergency assembly tonight.
179
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,600
I'm looking for my chaperone.
180
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,640
Hello, I'm Lily.
181
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,960
Oh. I love Tank Girl.
182
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,720
Yeah. It's criminally underrated.
183
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,080
There's two black-hooded rats mating
in the biology lab,
184
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,160
if you wanted to go
and see after assembly.
185
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,920
They have surprisingly large phalluses.
186
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,040
Okay.
187
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,120
♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah
Bah, bah ♪
188
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,440
♪ Whoa-oh ♪
189
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,440
♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah
Bah, bah ♪
190
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,680
♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah
Bah, bah, bah ♪
191
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,080
♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah
Bah, bah, bah ♪
192
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,400
♪ The night is young
So are we... ♪
193
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,000
Apparently Fiona Brady is patient zero.
194
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,680
She had an orgy at music camp,
and it spread from there.
195
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,400
It is highly unlikely
that this many people have chlamydia.
196
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,680
I think this is a classic case
of mass hysteria.
197
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,440
What the fuck are you doing?
You stood on my foot.
198
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,320
- Ow!
- I'm sorry.
199
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:51,440
♪ We don't have to take our clothes off ♪
200
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,720
- Stop.
- Get off!
201
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,920
If you hadn't been such a slut
in the first place,
202
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,200
- we wouldn't be in this situation.
- Shut the fuck up!
203
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,056
- Are you actually crying?
- You dirty fucker.
204
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:05,160
Oh, my God.
They are butchering Jermaine Stewart.
205
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,480
At least I'm not miming.
206
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,800
- Stupid bitch.
- Oh!
207
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,440
I've got to go. Sorry. Excuse me.
208
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,520
Ooh!
209
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:23,880
Sorry. Sorry.
210
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,280
- Don't push me.
- You've ruined this for every...
211
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,360
Ow!
212
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,520
This is a shitshow.
213
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:39,120
♪ We don't have to take our clothes off ♪
214
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,680
Yeah!
215
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,680
Let's hear it for... Asking For Treble!
216
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,280
Earth-shattering stuff, huh?
217
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,560
You're a slut.
218
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:13,640
More chocolate.
219
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,360
Sir, I've covered your pretzel
in chocolate three times now.
220
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,640
More chocolate.
221
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:37,840
You've got to be kidding me.
222
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,080
Uh...
223
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,920
Wiley, get back here!
224
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,760
I can see you.
225
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,040
Hi, Frogface. It's me, Mum.
226
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,040
Yes, I know who you are. What do you want?
227
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,240
- Nice wank?
- I told you I have a problem.
228
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,800
Jesus is Lord.
229
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,920
- Hey. How you doing?
- Hey, man.
230
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,320
Hey? You all right?
231
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Yeah. Yeah, sorry.
232
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,320
I thought I just saw someone, but...
233
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:45,560
Can I talk to you?
234
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,520
Martha and Gwen are going to kick me out
of acapella group
235
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,080
if I don't own up
to giving them chlamydia, but it's not me.
236
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,720
I've been tested, and I don't have it.
237
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,680
I'm not giving out advice anymore,
238
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,800
but I don't actually think
anyone has chlamydia,
239
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,176
- it's just mass hysteria.
- No, they definitely did have it.
240
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,896
They've been tested and treated,
but they're convinced it's my fault,
241
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,280
and now everyone in school thinks
I'm a walking STI.
242
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,480
I heard Fiona caught chlamydia
from doing bukakke with five guys.
243
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,480
Ugh. What a slut.
244
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:16,240
Please. This is so humiliating,
I don't know what to do.
245
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,400
Okay, um, this is Eric.
He's in charge of appointments.
246
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,360
- He'll book you in.
- I don't have a diary yet,
247
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,360
but I'll just use the natural
organizational skills of my brain.
248
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:31,880
Thank you.
249
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,080
Is that true, Tim?
250
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:42,600
Did you tell Clara that you enjoyed
the dog's company more than hers?
251
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,400
Yes.
252
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,520
Can you elaborate?
253
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,360
The dog is...
254
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,480
really quiet.
255
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:13,800
Right.
256
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,520
Why do you guys think it was Fiona
that give you chlamydia?
257
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,520
She had a threesome at music camp.
258
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,400
And gave Sammy Watson a hand job
during Mozart's Concerto 21.
259
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,840
And everybody knows she put
Jamal Jacob's clarinet up her fanny!
260
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,400
Can we please stop slut-shaming Fiona?
261
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,640
She has had a full sexual health checkup
and is clear of STIs,
262
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,176
and neither of you have slept with her,
263
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,360
so I don't understand how you could
possibly think she gave it to you.
264
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,880
Because she put her slutty mouth
all over our shared pitch whistle.
265
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,241
- Yeah, that's how we caught it!
- I don't have chlamydia!
266
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,120
How many times have I told you?
267
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,616
He literally said over and over...
268
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,040
Stop. Stop!
269
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,960
Even if Fiona had chlamydia,
which she doesn't,
270
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,520
you cannot catch an STI
from a pitch whistle.
271
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,240
It's too late.
Everyone still thinks it's me anyway.
272
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,640
You guys are sexually active, right?
273
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,240
- Yeah.
- With multiple partners?
274
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,320
- Yeah.
- Great.
275
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,600
Well, I'm going to need both of you
to make a list
276
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,800
of everyone you've had
recent sexual contact with
277
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,440
so we can find out who it really was.
278
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,040
Then you can start telling people
it wasn't Fiona.
279
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,480
Names.
280
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,880
The sober virgins enjoy Tolstoy
and saving themselves for marriage.
281
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:40,120
Then he says, "Yes, Daddy, but you see,
I have to buy a horse."
282
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,440
The bong rats
can't remember their own names
283
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,840
and still think
farts are the height of comedy.
284
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,520
Hey!
285
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,520
The Untouchables rule over us
with an iron fist of terror.
286
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,960
Nice dungarees.
287
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,080
Thanks.
288
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,320
Don't make eye contact.
289
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,040
- But he likes my dungarees.
- He doesn't like anyone's dungarees.
290
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:05,600
Oh, my God.
291
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,080
♪ If you want my body
And you think I'm sexy ♪
292
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,200
♪ Come on, sugar
Let me know ♪
293
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,440
- Which group is he in?
- I don't know,
294
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,760
but I think I just had
a very small orgasm.
295
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,600
♪ Come on, won't you tell me so? ♪
296
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,080
♪ Tell me so ♪
297
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,400
He's from France.
298
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,480
And I heard he's a son
of a Middle Eastern prince.
299
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,936
I heard he's Kim Kardashian's
secret adopted brother.
300
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,440
He will be my boyfriend, okay?
301
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Hmm.
302
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,360
Fuck me.
303
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,680
So, we've spoken to Luke Hanratty
and Niall Spencer,
304
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,760
and they've both been tested.
They're clear.
305
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:46,680
Okay.
306
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,120
Martha said she only kissed Tom Baker,
so we can cross him off the list.
307
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,920
Oh, my God. Otis.
308
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:53,560
Otis.
309
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,120
Otis.
310
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,120
Otis!
311
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,680
What?
312
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,640
The hottest man I've ever seen
just walked past me,
313
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,720
and you missed it because of chlamydia.
314
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,880
Ah.
315
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,680
So, there's only one more name
on this list.
316
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,000
Really?
317
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,440
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
318
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,720
J-Dog, it's O-Town.
319
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,320
Ah, it's Otis.
320
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:28,280
- What do you want?
- Well...
321
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,280
We were wondering why
you gave the acapella group chlamydia.
322
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,000
- Pardon?
- We were wondering...
323
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,320
It would seem that...
324
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,200
you had relations with Martha and Gwen
who then both had chlamydia.
325
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,960
- So I'm just trying to...
- I never have sex without protection.
326
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,400
I've also been tested.
Would you like to see the results?
327
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,640
- No.
- Yes.
328
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,080
That is exactly what we want,
Jackson Marchetti.
329
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,400
Come on.
330
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,920
Thank you.
331
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,800
- I believe you.
- Yeah, but here we are.
332
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,000
He's clear. He's clear.
333
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,360
Uh, yeah, you're good.
334
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,800
Thank you for taking
such an active interest in my sex life.
335
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,400
Oh, say hi to Maeve for me.
336
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,600
Ooh.
337
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,120
I mean, I haven't seen her.
338
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,400
Why does Jackson hate you now?
339
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,520
Shut up.
340
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,600
Dude, you're erect again!
341
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,760
Was it the chlamydia or Jackson
that gave you a hard-on?
342
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,160
Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
343
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,560
- Your sister's got big, ain't she?
- Half sister.
344
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,360
I grew you in the same womb,
you're sisters.
345
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,640
So you got her back then?
346
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,240
She was only at her dad's mum's
for a bit, it was a blip.
347
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,440
I bet you got a right fright, didn't you?
Seeing me out of the blue?
348
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,080
Yeah.
349
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,600
I'm on step nine of NA.
350
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,776
- Making amends to those...
- ...you've harmed in the past.
351
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,561
- We've been here before, Erin.
- Don't call me Erin, I'm your mother.
352
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,120
It's different this time.
353
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,200
I've got a proper sponsor,
been clean for a year.
354
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,800
I was waiting until I was really stable
before I came back, and here I am.
355
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,080
So nice of you
to fit me into your schedule.
356
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,720
Some things don't change.
357
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,040
I think you'll find
quite a lot has changed, Erin.
358
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,560
Don't talk with your mouth full.
359
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,800
Do you know what? I don't really feel like
making amends this time.
360
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,760
You haven't finished your burger!
361
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:40,280
♪ Kiss me
I love the way that you kiss me ♪
362
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,040
Are you sure there's no one in?
363
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,560
♪ There's only one thing wrong
With the way that you kiss me ♪
364
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:47,720
Certain.
365
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:50,520
Hurry up!
366
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,880
♪ And plenty strong enough ♪
367
00:21:55,400 --> 00:22:00,520
♪ But the bad part is
You don't do it slow enough, oh ♪
368
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,200
- Is this okay?
- Yes!
369
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,440
Is that okay?
370
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,040
That is okay.
371
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,520
♪ Do it again just a little bit slower ♪
372
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:31,280
♪ Hold me
I love the way that you hold me ♪
373
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:37,360
- Why isn't it working?
- I don't know. Just... keep...
374
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,680
♪ Slower, slower ♪
375
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,760
Is it me?
376
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,480
No. No. It's not you. Just, maybe...
377
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,800
- Why isn't it getting hard?
- I don't know. I don't know.
378
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,360
- Sorry. I can't.
- I'm sorry. Please just come back.
379
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,520
- Ah!
- Otis! The stairs!
380
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,496
- Are you okay?
- Fuck!
381
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,360
- Otis!
- Mum!
382
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:04,320
What?
383
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,120
- Dad?
- What the fuck?
384
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,440
- I'm sorry.
- Darling.
385
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,896
What the fuck is going on?
386
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,200
I'm sorry.
387
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:12,920
I'm sorry.
388
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,360
We didn't want our relationship
to affect your relationship.
389
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,480
- Relationship?
- Your mother and I are dating.
390
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:23,960
My mum doesn't date.
391
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,160
Tell him, Mum.
392
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,800
Jakob and I are dating.
393
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,680
What, you mean like having casual sex?
394
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,520
- Otis.
- Darling, it's...
395
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,800
not just casual.
396
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,360
Is there anything you want to say?
397
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:46,520
This is a safe space.
You can express any negative feelings.
398
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,480
You're dating my girlfriend's dad.
399
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,200
I was just starting to feel like
a normal teenager,
400
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,360
and now you go
and make me feel like a freak, again!
401
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,680
Otis.
402
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,136
It's all right.
403
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,480
He'll come around.
404
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,200
This is a good thing.
405
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,160
Can I bum one of those?
406
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,560
You're not supposed to smoke
in front of children.
407
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,200
Well, I'm bound to fuck her up anyway.
What's a bit of second-hand smoke?
408
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,920
I know you don't believe me,
but it is different this time.
409
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,800
Look.
410
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,800
I found these.
411
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,720
- You always loved sparkly things.
- They're hideous.
412
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,520
Oh, come on. They match your locks.
413
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,320
I used to dye my hair like that
when I was your age.
414
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,600
Where are you getting money
for gifts from?
415
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,760
I'm seeing someone.
416
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,040
His name is James. I met him at NA.
417
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,536
He's got his life together,
and he's helping me stay on track.
418
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,720
He really understands
how hard recovery can be.
419
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,520
Please don't tell me
you shagged your sponsor.
420
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,320
- You're unbelievable.
- Well, he's not my sponsor anymore, is he?
421
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,840
I've got a new sponsor now.
422
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,000
I really am taking it seriously, you know?
423
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:12,760
Mummy'll be there in a minute, darling.
424
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,720
And he's great with Elsie.
425
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,040
He loves kids.
426
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,600
Does Jimbo know about me and Sean?
427
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,560
Of course he doesn't.
428
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:33,080
- So are you selling pretzels permanently?
- Nope, I'm still at school.
429
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,080
- I'm not going to be a drop-out like you.
- Well, that makes sense.
430
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,280
You could recite the alphabet
when you were about one.
431
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:41,840
It was quite freaky.
432
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,480
I will tell him about you and Sean,
I promise.
433
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,720
Your promises
don't mean shit anymore, Erin.
434
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,200
I quit.
435
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,240
No, you're fired!
436
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,840
Good evening, parents of Moordale.
437
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,600
Our children are dying!
438
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,800
Yeah!
439
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:22,960
No one is dying.
440
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,760
And how will you stop them dying?
441
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,280
Yeah!
442
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:29,960
Well, we are encouraging all the students
to get treated with antibiotics,
443
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:34,240
and we will be re-educating them
on safer sex practices.
444
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,560
Uh, everything is fine.
445
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,560
Teenagers don't listen!
446
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,680
How will you be re-educating them
on safer sex practices?
447
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:46,920
Yeah!
448
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,720
Well, by re-educating them on safer sex...
449
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,400
- Come on.
- Come on!
450
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,040
...practices.
451
00:26:55,120 --> 00:27:00,680
I believe what we're dealing with here
is an outbreak of STI hysteria,
452
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,760
rather than an outbreak of chlamydia.
453
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,920
You cannot catch this disease
through breathing.
454
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,760
It is spread through genital fluids,
455
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,520
exchanged during unprotected sex.
456
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,840
However, it is the misinformation
about the disease
457
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,520
that's hugely problematic.
458
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:24,080
It comes shrouded in shame
and misunderstanding.
459
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,600
And is precisely how
this kind of hysteria is spread.
460
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:29,920
Yeah.
461
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,000
So, how will you be addressing that?
462
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,440
Yeah.
463
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:39,040
We will be returning to our tried
and tested sex education curriculum.
464
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:42,760
Well, with all due respect, sir,
465
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,320
your curriculum isn't working.
466
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,160
As a sexual health professional,
467
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,280
may I suggest that you look into
tailoring your program
468
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:55,040
to give our teenagers the correct tools
469
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,000
to be able to free themselves
from this unwarranted stigma?
470
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,840
And what exactly are those tools?
471
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,600
The three Ts.
472
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,120
Trust.
473
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:07,880
Talking.
474
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,040
And truth.
475
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,640
- No, no, no.
- That's what we need! Right there.
476
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,840
Whoo!
477
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,120
Yes... Thank you.
478
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,320
You are very sexy when you're passionate.
479
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,320
Yes, fine.
480
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,640
Of course he's got a training plan, Roz.
481
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,160
The coach says he's got to focus.
482
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,160
Well, he's lost all of his focus
since he broke up with that girl.
483
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,520
He's had his first heartbreak.
It's normal.
484
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,320
I told you.
We should never have let him date her.
485
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,400
Oh, as long as it's my fault then.
486
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,640
What? How are you making this about you?
487
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,560
- I'm here too, you know.
- Don't we know it.
488
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,040
You're right, Mum.
489
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:21,680
I haven't been focused.
490
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,560
But I really want to see this through,
and I'm going to make you proud.
491
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,000
Both of you.
492
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:29,720
I promise.
493
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:33,560
Now, please, just...
494
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:35,680
just stop fighting.
495
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,680
♪ Wake up, I feel a little out of focus ♪
496
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,920
♪ Grab the last of the beauty
That I left by the bedside ♪
497
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,520
♪ Wake up, I feel a little bit fuzzy ♪
498
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,280
♪ Feel a little out of focus
499
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,440
♪ Grab the last of the beauty
That I left by the bedside ♪
500
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,360
♪ Drink it down, wake up ♪
501
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,360
Otis, Otis. Okay, so...
502
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,800
you know the whole
natural organizational skills
503
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,640
of my brain thing? Yeah, well, you've got
three appointments today,
504
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,360
I don't know where, what time,
or with who.
505
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,680
- Dude!
- I'm sorry. Don't come for me, man.
506
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,400
I'm gonna start writing it down.
507
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:36,800
Who's next on the chlamydia list?
508
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,080
Well, we've spoken to all of them,
and they all say they're clear.
509
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,200
Well, at least we tried, man.
510
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:43,680
Rumors die down eventually.
511
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:47,056
- Who do you think you got it from?
- It was the choir chick, Fiona.
512
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,240
She's banged every gentleman
in the school.
513
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,560
She's dirty, man.
514
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,560
We need to talk to the girls again.
515
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaking of dirty, sexy times,
how did things go with Ola yesterday?
516
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,720
I do not want to talk about it.
517
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,320
Why, what happened?
518
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,240
No.
519
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,040
Something very bad happened.
520
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,520
What?
521
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:15,560
Okay, um...
522
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,640
- So, Ola and I tried to, you know...
- Have sex?
523
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,760
No, but we tried to do more than kissing,
and she...
524
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,280
- Wanked you off?
- And I couldn't...
525
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,280
- Get hard.
- So now I'm wondering
526
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,400
whether maybe I've masturbated so much
that my penis has run out of erections.
527
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,760
Eric, it's not funny.
528
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,520
Who goes there?
529
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,960
Well, I wasn't going to come out,
because what you're talking about
530
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,160
is very strange and embarrassing,
and I thought it would be awkward.
531
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,200
You should wash your hands, you dirty pig!
532
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:50,400
I didn't do a poo.
533
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,120
I was crying.
534
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:54,880
Oh.
535
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,280
Right, well, I hope you're okay.
536
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:58,920
Thank you.
537
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,800
What an odd little man.
538
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,440
Good form, man.
539
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:10,720
Yes. Nice.
540
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,080
Let's go.
541
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,280
Nice.
542
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,600
Fuck! Shit! Bollocks!
543
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,800
Get Coach, come on!
Get an ambulance!
544
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,240
Shit!
545
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:43,840
Uh, no. No, no, no, no.
546
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,280
Chlamydia.
547
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,920
Smallpox doesn't exist anymore,
Mrs. Gibbs.
548
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:52,640
Can I call you back?
549
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,720
- Wiley, you're barred from campus.
- Okay, please hear me out.
550
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,456
I know you don't think so, but I deserve
a second chance at this school.
551
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,896
The things you said about my family
are true, and I messed up,
552
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,520
but I don't want to be like them.
I know I have more in me than that.
553
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,320
I believe that I'm an asset
to your institution.
554
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:09,400
How so?
555
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,040
These are the student essays
that make your grade average so high.
556
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,680
I wrote every single one of them.
557
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,280
Leave my office immediately.
558
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,040
Read them and see.
559
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:24,400
If you let me back in,
I won't tell everyone
560
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,120
that your school is full of cheats.
561
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,760
I will call the police
562
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,600
if you do not leave my office
immediately.
563
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,320
What?
564
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,960
The chairman is here again,
she wants to see the new gymnasium.
565
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,600
Wiley, get out.
566
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,880
- You're back.
- Just visiting.
567
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,400
- Changed your hair.
- Perceptive.
568
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,000
How've you been? I...
569
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,200
miss you.
570
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,520
You better get to class.
571
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,240
Yeah.
572
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,160
Okay.
573
00:34:42,720 --> 00:34:44,480
Have you gone goth, cockbiter?
574
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,440
I think you're lost.
Pretzel Parlor's back at the mall.
575
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:48,560
Yeah.
576
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,480
I've just seen Carl Mason
use your car as a skate ramp.
577
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,360
Oh, for fuck's sake.
578
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,480
Masks off, everyone. Jesus.
579
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,800
But Fiona's given everyone chlamydia, sir.
580
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,720
Tell them that's not true.
581
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,480
You're supposed to be my friends.
582
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:30,680
Go and see if she's okay.
583
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,080
Come on.
584
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,800
Okay, who wants to know about molecules?
585
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,960
Good afternoon, Moordale.
586
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,800
It's your ex-resident cockbiter,
Maeve Wiley, speaking.
587
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,880
Here to read some of your brilliant,
prize-winning essays.
588
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,640
Let's start with Ruby Matthews'
A-star essay
589
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,760
on Shakespeare's relationship
to female empowerment.
590
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,320
It's a real belter, isn't it, Ruby?
591
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,200
Except you wouldn't know,
because I wrote it.
592
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,040
- Okay, so...
- Sir, come quickly, there's a fight.
593
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,640
Fight!
594
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,536
"It's most useful to examine
this topic through the theme of marriage,
595
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,520
as this is the framework
within which the majority
596
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,080
of Shakespeare's female protagonists
are permitted to function.
597
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:21,360
The women in both Othello and Much Ado
aim to take control over whom they marry
598
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:22,640
or if they must marry at all.
599
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,480
Desdemona's decision to marry Othello
against her father's wishes
600
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,760
was so singular
that it is almost transcendent."
601
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,000
Maeve! What are you doing?
602
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:33,600
- Well, I've got nothing to lose, have I?
- Wiley!
603
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,440
What exactly is happening here?
604
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:40,680
Nothing.
605
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,360
Just reading some non-plagiarized,
606
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,800
top-line, A-star essays
for shits and giggles.
607
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,360
What is she talking about?
608
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,320
Would you like to tell her, or shall I?
609
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,960
Every year we read out the best essays
students have written
610
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000
to celebrate Moordale's achievements.
611
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,280
This is Maeve Wiley,
one of our brightest pupils.
612
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,360
She's recently joined our Aptitude Scheme.
613
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,840
So you get students to read out essays
in the middle of class time?
614
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,920
Yes.
615
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,760
It's a... tradition.
616
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,720
A very silly tradition
that we must stop immediately.
617
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,760
An STI outbreak, mass class interruption.
618
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,240
I'm sorry, what's next?
619
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,200
Little monkeys instead of teachers?
Creationism?
620
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,400
It's anarchy.
621
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,080
Oh...
622
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,320
Off you go, Maeve.
623
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,920
- Miss Sands. You...
- I think the chairman would be
624
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,040
very interested to know that your son
won the essay prize by cheating,
625
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,000
and that you knew about it.
626
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,240
Maeve will be re-enrolled at school,
and that's the end of it.
627
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:16,840
♪ When two tribes go to war
One is all that you can score ♪
628
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,480
♪ Score no more, score no more ♪
629
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:24,440
♪ When two tribes go to war
One is all that you can score ♪
630
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,800
Ah, ferocious.
Right, I'm going to go get help.
631
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,960
There's nothing more scary
than a woman fight.
632
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,400
- What?
- I'm going.
633
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,720
Otis! Debbie,
get out of the way. Otis.
634
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,296
We need to do something.
They'll kill each other, right?
635
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,840
- I know!
- When I say "we," I mean "you." Go!
636
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:44,920
Go!
637
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,600
Girls, okay. Sorry to interrupt.
Can you just stop fighting?
638
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,720
Eric!
639
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,120
- What the hell's going on?
- Okay, so, Gwen and Martha
640
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,480
think that Fiona gave them chlamydia,
but she's clear.
641
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,336
So we checked all the boys they slept with
and they're clear too. Look.
642
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:58,840
Stop it.
643
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,280
Oh, my God. Jesus be with him.
644
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,320
- Why isn't Owen's name on here?
- Who's Owen?
645
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,560
- That guy.
- What? Pointless acapella kid?
646
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,936
Yeah, Gwen and Martha
have been sleeping with him for ages.
647
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,856
He's always crying in the toilets
'cause they're trying to keep it a secret.
648
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:13,920
- How do you know that?
- Because I know everything.
649
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:15,960
Otis needs help.
650
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,280
Oh, my God. Time to do something.
651
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,040
Excuse me, please. Excuse me now.
652
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,720
- You slut!
- Slag!
653
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:23,800
Bitches!
654
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,600
You gave me chlamydia!
655
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,080
No...
656
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,160
Otis!
657
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:46,960
Otis? Otis.
658
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,200
Yes!
659
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,840
Excuse me. Excuse me.
660
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:52,600
Speak up.
661
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,600
Okay, speak from the diaphragm.
Okay? Go on.
662
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,720
Owen has something to tell you,
don't you, Owen?
663
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,200
What?
664
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,160
It was me who gave
Martha and Gwen chlamydia.
665
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:09,400
Well, I found out I had it
and got treated.
666
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,680
But didn't tell them
I probably passed it on.
667
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:12,720
Uh-huh.
668
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,200
- Why didn't you tell them?
- Why didn't you tell them?
669
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,440
They're already ashamed
of sleeping with me.
670
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,760
Apparently, I'm boring and uncool.
671
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,080
Imagine if they knew I had an STI too.
672
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,360
It is not shameful to have chlamydia,
673
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,040
- but it's wrong to lie about it.
- It was wrong to lie about it.
674
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,360
We all have flaws,
675
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,360
and our bodies do things
we have no control over.
676
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,360
But we can always control being truthful.
677
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,880
I think you deserve better
than to be someone's secret, Owen.
678
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:47,320
But you have to be honest
679
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,440
- with your sexual partners in the future.
- That's all they're asking for.
680
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:51,520
I will.
681
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:54,560
And...
682
00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:57,600
you should maybe tell your girlfriend
about your wanking problem.
683
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:00,320
The truth will set you free.
684
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,040
I didn't ask to be therapized.
685
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,680
I didn't ask to be therapized either,
to be fair.
686
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:08,280
Uh, I think that we've had quite enough
of you today. Go on.
687
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Owen.
688
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,880
Uncalled for and unnecessary.
689
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,160
This institution is in disarray,
690
00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:21,520
and if you don't pull it together,
you'll no longer be headmaster.
691
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,320
I'll be checking in every month,
and I expect to see a turnaround.
692
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:26,760
Understood.
693
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:28,960
Good.
694
00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:48,600
Hi, Headmaster Groff.
695
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:52,600
I was just wondering
when Adam would be back?
696
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,320
He won't be.
697
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,880
- Oh.
- Do not worry, Eric.
698
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:00,280
My son will no longer be making
your life difficult.
699
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:03,800
Okay.
700
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,160
Thank you.
701
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:14,120
Why is he talking to her?
Do they like ugly noses in France?
702
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:17,120
I like your shirt.
703
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,840
I like your shirt too, Eric.
704
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,040
Yeah. I mean, it's not completely hideous.
705
00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:30,640
Hi.
706
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:31,720
Hey.
707
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:33,880
We need to talk.
708
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,320
Yeah. Yeah.
709
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,400
Um...
710
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,040
Look, I'm sorry.
711
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:46,880
What's going on with you?
712
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,960
I think I'm addicted to wanking,
713
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,280
'cause I've only just started,
but I can't seem to stop,
714
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,560
and I think I might have broken my penis
because I do it too much.
715
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,960
That's why it wasn't working.
716
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,600
Ah. Okay.
717
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,400
If you want to break up with me,
I understand.
718
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:08,640
You're very unusual, Otis,
719
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,600
but I don't want to break up with you.
720
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,960
It's all new for both of us.
721
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,680
We'll just figure it out together. Okay?
722
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,000
Yeah.
723
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,000
Stop kissing my daughter!
724
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:26,080
Oh!
725
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,880
Just kidding. I'm here to see your mum.
726
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:32,960
Sorry.
727
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:36,080
Jackson.
728
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:40,840
You have a metacarpal fracture.
You'll be in a cast for about six weeks.
729
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,480
No swimming
for the foreseeable future. Sorry.
730
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,560
- Can I get someone to sign some forms?
- Yeah.
731
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,520
What happened?
732
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,240
Mum, I'm fine. I'm fine.
733
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,240
I just wasn't concentrating.
734
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,560
It was a stupid accident, okay?
735
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:12,680
Okay.
736
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,000
Silly boy.
737
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:57,920
Hi.
738
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:00,480
Do you need some help?
739
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,040
Well, I didn't ask for any, so, no.
740
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,600
- Okay.
- Looks like we're neighbors. I'm Joe.
741
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,280
That ungrateful git's Isaac.
742
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,440
I'm Maeve, and I don't like noise.
743
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,000
Okay.
744
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,400
Otis, too long!
745
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,960
No more hot water, I'm afraid.
746
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,440
I'll look at your boiler if you like.
747
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,680
- Smoothie?
- No!
748
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,080
Oh, God.
749
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,200
Jean Milburn speaking.
750
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Jean. Maxine Tarrington here,
Moordale's chairman.
751
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:56,360
Sorry to call so early.
I was at the parents' assembly,
752
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,160
and I agree with everything you said.
753
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,240
The state of our sex education
is appalling. It needs a rethink.
754
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:07,080
Well, I can recommend some great people
to help revamp the curriculum
755
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,160
if you'd like.
756
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,360
Or you could do it?
757
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,160
♪ Something's happening
Happening to me ♪
758
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:24,480
♪ My friends say
I'm acting peculiarly ♪
759
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:29,680
♪ Oh, ohh ♪
760
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:34,160
♪ I wanna be with you everywhere ♪
761
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:47,200
Dude,
762
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,600
I think we've cured chlamydia.
763
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,200
♪ Something's happening ♪
764
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,720
♪ Happening to me ♪
765
00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:58,640
Which group is Maeve in?
766
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:01,920
She was kind of a loner
767
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,920
until she started running
that sex clinic thing with Otis,
768
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,080
and then they would hang out all the time.
769
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,840
I wonder if they'll do it again
now she's back?
770
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:32,200
You do realize you can't do what you do
without Maeve?
771
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,240
She's the key
to your whole weird operation.
772
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:36,960
Which is why it's over.
773
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:40,520
I've known you since you were
nine years old, and you're never happier
774
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:43,320
than when you're talking to people
about their genitals.
775
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,360
I thought you wanted to be involved
for the status.
776
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:48,400
I'm doing all right on my own.
777
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,640
Talk... to... her.
778
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,240
Do it.
779
00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:09,000
- Hey.
- Hi.
780
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,920
Do you want your old job back?
781
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,280
Back?
782
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:20,880
I created it.
783
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,080
Now I'm not interested.
784
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:24,400
I need you.
785
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,560
You never wanted to do this
in the first place, Otis.
786
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,160
Why not just drop it?
787
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,760
Because we're good at it.
788
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:33,560
And...
789
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,800
I'm learning things, which I know
sounds crazy, but it's true.
790
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,000
Come on.
791
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,920
I'll up your cut, 55 percent.
792
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,440
- Seventy.
- Sixty.
793
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:52,560
Deal.
794
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,680
- This is entirely about the money.
- Yeah.
795
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,280
It's good to be back in business.
796
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:17,040
♪ I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking
Of the right words to say ♪
797
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:21,080
♪ I know they don't sound the way
I planned them to be ♪
798
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,840
♪ But if you wait around awhile
I'll make you fall for me ♪
799
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:30,960
♪ I promise, I promise you I will ♪
800
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,080
♪ I gotta tell you ♪
801
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:47,280
♪ Need to tell you ♪
802
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:52,960
♪ Gotta tell you, I've gotta tell you ♪
803
00:49:53,720 --> 00:49:57,720
♪ I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking
Of the right words to say ♪
804
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:01,880
♪ I know they don't sound the way
I planned them to be ♪
805
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,480
♪ And if I had to walk the world
I'd make you fall for me ♪
806
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:12,200
♪ I promise, I promise you I will ♪
807
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,640
♪ I will ♪
61244
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