Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

- [Drifter] Reverie, noun,

a state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts,

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

a daydream,

an instrumental piece suggesting a dreamy or musing state,

a fanciful or impractical idea.

(hypnotic music)

- [Drifter] I've seen so much.

(hypnotic music)

- [Drifter] I need to record it all.

- [Drifter] The place between day and night.

The place between awake and dreaming

(chiming music) (hypnotic music)

(stomach rumbling)

(lozenge fizzing)

- [Drifter] The place between awake and dreaming.

- [Drifter] I've seen so much.

(hypnotic music) (whooshing)

- [Drifter] I sit back, let go of control.

(airplane engine humming)

- [Drifter] Something else controls me.

(typewriter crackling)

- [Drifter] As the darkness seeps into the room.

- [Drifter] And the inspiration seeps through my veins.

- [Drifter] I record my thoughts,

- [Drifter] My memories.

- My. (phone rings)

(phone buzzing)

(hypnotic music)

- [Drifter] My

- [Both Drifters] Reveries,

- Reveries. - Reveries.

Reveries. - Reveries.

(soft percussion music)

Well, it's true.

Yep, I called it.

I guess I was right.

As predicted a few years ago,

3D printing has become a huge part of my life

and I use it every day.

- [Drifter] I've seen six dolphins in my life,

four in the ocean, two I don't want to talk about.

- [Drifter] I don't want to talk about those.

(gentle music)

I think it's cool

when people get married to someone they met in high school.

I think it's important to find your soul mate in high school

within the boundaries drawn by the school district.

- [Drifter] Within the boundaries.

I played college football third string quarterback.

Now, while I may not have been the best,

I did hold the record for throwing the biggest football.

I had to make that thing myself and sneak it into the game.

Almost got me suspended, but boy were people surprised

when they saw its soaring overhead.

- [Both Drifters] Soaring overhead.

- [Drifter] Such a big ball

coming from such a little arm.

- [Drifter] Such a little arm.

I got my ass beat with one of those rubber food dividers

at the grocery store check out.

To this day, I can't stand in a checkout line

without thinking of that time

one of those rubber food dividers made

- [Both Drifters] Quick work of my ass.

- [Drifter] It made quick work

- [Drifter] Of my ass.

- [Drifter] Electric car?

Sure.

Call me when they've invented an electric guy.

- [Drifter] Who is that guy?

(hypnotic music)

Whenever a group photograph is taken,

I'm always the one that says cool, let's take another.

Nobody smile this time.

- [Drifter] Nobody smile this time.

For the last decade,

I've maintained the practice of eating one book every month.

I'm not well-read,

but when someone brings up a classic book they love

and talks about how much it means to them,

I can think to myself, I've

- [Both Drifters] Eaten that book.

- [Drifter] I saw an Elliott Smith impersonator

busking in the town square.

I put a couple dollars into his hat

and he stabbed himself in the heart

and died before realizing his

- [Both Drifters] Full creative potential.

- [Drifter] My little brother was born,

putting himself in a headlock.

- Ouch! - And to his credit,

he didn't tap out until he was four.

- [Drifter] I was vaping inside the Guggenheim Museum

until security mustered up the plums to throw me out.

The guards greased me up

and slid me down for spirals into the gift shop,

where I sent a postcard to my dad

telling him how well things were going for me.

- [Drifter] Hi dad.

- [Drifter] Take that dad.

- [Drifter] I've mustered up the plums dad.

- [Drifter] You gonna throw me out dad?

(gentle music)

- [Drifter] I've had a Tom Petty song stuck in my head

for the last 18 years.

- Which one? - I don't know.

It's not on any of his albums

and no one else has ever heard it before,

but I know it's him.

He's got that voice.

- [Drifter] That

- [Both Drifters] Voice.

- [Drifter] I enter a deep euphoric state

during acupuncture and I don't return until

- [Both Drifters] Tiny treasures

- [Drifter] From my subconscious fill up my basket.

- [Drifter] Little tiny treasures.

- My little - Memory basket.

- [Drifter] I have a little memory basket, hop inside.

(hypnotic music)

- [Subconscious] Welcome.

- [Drifter] Hello, where are we?

- [Subconscious] We're in your subconscious.

- [Drifter] Who are you.

- [Subconscious] I'm the keeper of memories,

every memory you have are on these shelves waiting.

Go ahead and look around.

- [Drifter] Each box has its own memory?

- [Subconscious] Every little box has one little memory

neatly stored away for when the time is right.

- [Drifter] Right for what?

- [Drifter] And all these memories belong to us?

- [Drifter] Right for what?

- [Subconscious] Every single one of them.

- [Drifter] How about that turquoise one up there,

I'd like to have a look at that one.

- [Subconscious] Touch any of them, they are your memories.

Take a look.

(water trickling)

- [Drifter] This one is warm to the touch.

- [Subconscious] Yes, that's a very healthy memory.

- [Drifter] Thank you for showing this to me.

- [Subconscious] Yes, but be warned,

don't look too long or else you'll use them up.

- [Drifter] Use them up?

- [Drifter] We'll put these back then.

I'd like to keep this one for a very long time.

- [Subconscious] All right!

Well, it's best that you go now.

I'm tired.

Sweet dreams boys.

(whooshing) (gentle music)

- [Drifter] One time I dived so deep into a swimming pool

that I came up in the middle of the ocean

and I was two years older.

- [Drifter] Did you see any dolphins?

- [Drifter] I saw four.

- [Drifter] I make most of my money

uploading tickle videos to the dark web.

Three times a week I strap myself down

and an Ultimate Frisbee team comes over to my apartment

and they have free rein on my body.

These guys pretty much go

- [Both Drifters] Hog wild.

- [Drifter] And the videos are distributed

all over the world.

Poland, Japan, Argentina,

so that shameful men can do God knows what to the images.

- [Drifter] God knows.

- [Drifter] What?

(gentle music)

(eagle cooing)

- [Drifter] I love the way the eagle cries when it's

- [Both Drifters] Soaring overhead.

- [Drifter] But I hate the way it grunts when it's

- [Both Drifters] Crawling underneath.

(gentle music)

- [Drifter] Angela, my ex, bear doll at a moth story slam.

I had no idea she was on the bill.

I didn't know she was gonna be slamming that night.

And there I was sitting right in the second row.

She detailed all my shortcomings in the relationship

and had the audience in absolute stitches.

The embarrassment was so overwhelming

that I began to sink down into my seat deeper and deeper,

like quicksand.

But before she noticed me, I had ripped through the cushion

and was now a puddle on the floor spilling into the aisle.

And when Angela walked offstage,

she slipped on me and fell hard.

So I guess I had the last laugh.

Sure I may have been an unsatisfactory

shape-shifting boyfriend,

but at least I haven't been in a coma for 13 months.

- [Drifter] Nice.

- [Drifter] Nice.

A coma for 13 months.

- [Both Drifters] Nice.

- [Drifter] The love of my life.

- [Both Drifters] Nice.

- [Drifter] Ever since

I got hit in the head with a softball,

- [Both Drifters] I don't dream.

- [Drifter] When I sleep,

I'm basically just lying there

- [Both Drifters] Waiting.

- Waiting. - Waiting.

- Waiting. (cymbal crashing)

- [Drifter] Waiting.

(matchstick flicks)

(cigarette crackling)

(whooshing)

(cigarette crackling)

(breath gushing)

(gentle music)

(stardust sparkling) (footsteps pattering)

- [Open Mic Poet] Who are these guys?

Drifters, nomads?

No wonder.

(breath howling)

I saw them sharing a cigarette in front of Cafe Barracuda.

I asked if they were poets, artists, philosophers.

They said yes, they're are all of those things.

(bell tolling)

(gentle music)

I always see them around coffee shops.

They never have laptops.

I think they're like 40.

They just showed up one day.

I'd be surprised if they were any younger than 40.

I've never seen before.

One of them might have a daughter.

Are they homeless?

They might even be 50.

I feel like I've seen them before,

but then again, I feel like I've seen all of this before.

I feel like I've seen,

(overlapping) I feel like I've seen all of this before.

I feel like I've seen all of this before.

(whooshing)

- [Drifter] Oh, we should go to this party huh?

- [Drifter] Yeah, let's check out this party.

- [Drifter] Yeah, we should go into this party.

(gentle music)

- [Drifter] I love a good party.

- Seems like a cool party. - Out of the way.

Move, coming through.

- [Drifter] Who am I?

I went to a party the other night,

I go to a lot of parties, who doesn't,

and I really needed to cut loose.

I wanted to party, party, I wanted to party.

But how do I know if I'm partying.

I wanted to wake up the next morning,

be able to confidently say that yes, yes, I indeed partied.

But is partying an action you can do

or is partying a state of mind?

I don't know.

Either way for about a half an hour,

I was avoiding conversation over at the snack table,

just stacking meats and cheeses on crackers,

whispering over and over to myself.

I'm partying.

I'm partying.

I'm partying.

- [Drifter] He's partying.

- [Drifter] I'm partying.

- [Drifter] He's partying.

- [Drifter] I'm partying.

- [Drifter] He's partying.

Oh hey, what's up man?

- Oh hey, nice to see you. - Hey, this is a cool place.

- [Drifter] Oh, I really like the decorations.

- [Drifter] I love what they've done with all the shadows

and stuff. - Let me take your coat.

- [Drifter] Oh cool, thank you.

Let me take your hand.

- [Drifter] Oh, that feels good.

Hey, you're looking good.

- [Drifter] Right.

Hey, thanks so I had just showered last night.

- [Drifter] I like your new jacket.

- [Drifter] Cool,

I like the way you've been talking lately.

- I like your new shoes. - Thanks man.

They are just big enough.

- [Drifter] Oh is that a dog over there?

I remember one of those, I've seen one of those before.

- [Drifter] Yeah, I love the way the whole vibe

of this place is really-- - Everyone's looking

so incredible tonight. - Hey, did you see Stacey?

- [Drifter] Oh, I love how she's looking.

- [Drifter] Yeah, have you heard about Mark?

- [Drifter] He got that big promotion.

- [Drifter] Yeah, finally, he's been working for it.

We're having a conversation.

- [Drifter] Do you need a drink, can I get you a drink?

- [Drifter] Yeah thanks, I'll have a little refill here.

- [Drifter] I would love to fill up your glass for ya.

- [Drifter] Thanks.

It always puts me in the mood.

We're having a conversation.

- [Drifter] Well, I'll see you later, I gotta go.

I'm late for my intervention.

- [Drifter] Yeah, you know I think I'll take off as well.

I'm getting that urge again, that urge for the

- [Both Drifters] Open road.

- Open road. (breath gushing)

- You guys were really cool back there.

You should stick around.

Seriously, the open mic scene

could really use a couple guys like you.

(background dance music)

Wait, where are you going?

You're just getting something out of your car, right?

(car alarm beeping)

You're not actually getting in that thing?

(car doors close)

You're just testing if the doors work, huh?

Maybe you're a little cold.

(car revving)

Just making sure the ignition is working right?

Come on.

You guys ready to leave?

Not when you could stay here and rule the city.

(car engine roaring off)

Those guys are 40.

(gentle music)

- [Man On Radio] This is Miles Davis radio,

the only radio station that plays exclusively Miles Davis.

(radio crackling)

(smooth jazz music)

- [Man On Radio] You're listening to John Coltrane Radio,

where we only play songs by John Coltrane.

(radio crackling) (smooth jazz music)

- [Man On Radio] Coming up on the top of the hour

here on Miles Davis Radio

and we're gonna be playing a new song by Miles Davis

just as soon as this last song by Miles Davis wraps up.

(radio crackling) (smooth jazz music)

- [Man On Radio] This is John Coltrane radio.

The request line is open.

We just ask that you request songs by John Coltrane.

(radio crackling) (smooth jazz music)

(radio crackling)

(creepy music)

(moves into gentle music)

- [Drifter] There is an unmarked single lane highway

that's a straight shot to the coast.

It's not on any map.

Sad lonely men search for it

when they're dissatisfied with their marriage,

or when they bring great shame on their families.

- [Drifter] Or both.

- [Drifter] The road ends with a ramp

that launches you out into the ocean,

just beyond the break of the continental shelf.

Most of the men in my life have driven that road.

- [Drifter] I've driven that road.

The fire alarm had been ringing for days,

but no one could find the fire.

The whole town was looking everywhere,

checking basements, looking under furniture,

turning over rocks, no one could find a single flame.

But the alarm kept ringing

so we knew there had to be a fire somewhere.

The starting cornerback for the high school football team

suggested that maybe it had moved to another town

and then that year's graduating class

volunteered to rent a bus

and drive around looking for the fire

as their senior project.

After they left, we never heard from them again.

But over the years we would hear rumors of a small town

that had sprung up somewhere in Nebraska,

with no curfew and a prom every weekend.

And fast food restaurants do unusually well there.

(gentle music)

- [Drifter] The cornerback tipped them off.

When I'm house-sitting,

over time I get comfortable in my surroundings.

I begin to wear the clothing of the owner.

I settle into their furniture and cutlery.

Then I begin to mimic and adopt their mannerisms,

their speech patterns and cadence.

Then I take up their values and belief systems.

Once I feel cozy in my new body,

I take their name as my own

and take over their lease as my home.

Last week I was Jeremy in Queens.

Now, my name is Tomas and I live in Des Moines, Iowa.

Hi, I'm Tomas.

Welcome to Des Moines, Iowa. (gentle music)

- [Drifter] I went on a date with a girl to a bar.

The bar was empty.

There was a piano in the corner

and she sat down to play.

For a minute or so,

I thought she was playing a very complicated song,

but soon it dawned on me

that she was just testing every note in random order.

But by then it was too late.

I had already started singing along.

So I just had to go with it.

- [Drifter] Go with it.

After submitting multiple times,

I was finally cast in a reality show

that took place in Burbank, California.

The show was called Familiar Faces and the premise

was that a team of plastic surgeons

made my face as grotesque and unrecognizable as possible

and then handed me off to a different team of surgeons

that had to return my face to its natural-born look

using only a five-by-seven,

of my senior portrait to guide them.

The show was called Familiar Faces

and it shot in Burbank, California.

(gentle music)

- [Drifter] They made quick work

- [Drifter] of my face.

(gentle music)

- [Drifter] Our backyard was on a really big hill

in such a way that whenever we had a barbecue,

my dad was always up there on that hill by himself,

looking down on us as he grilled.

Every so often, someone would make the trek up the hill

to get some hamburgers for the rest of the party.

- I'm partying. - But for the most part

my dad just stood up there by himself

looking down on us and smiling.

Sometimes, after all the guests were gone,

we'd clean up and go inside,

and only later that night realize

he was still up there on that hill,

just grilling away, smiling.

- [Drifter] Hi dad.

Hey Dad. (gentle guitar music)

I've met many gurus in my life.

The last time I saw a guru they had just finished a seminar

and drove off in a flashy Corvette.

You'd think a car like that

isn't a very guru-ey thing to show off,

but that's why I like that guru.

They were a little corrupt and not afraid to show it.

All gurus are a little corrupt,

so it's nice when they just don't care anymore.

Do you know a guru? - I know a guru.

- You know a guru? - I grew up with a guru.

- Well who's the guru? - My dad was a guru,

I guess. (gentle guitar music)

One year my dad became a local celebrity

after he yelled so loud his teeth shot out.

- [Drifter] Shot out.

- [Drifter] After that everyone wanted his help,

or his advice, or just to be seen with him.

"Here comes Chuck yelling, he'll know what to do,"

they'd say or, "hey Chuck, you're loud.

"Help us move this crate."

It reached its peak when the Mayor asked him

to speak at the high school graduation.

And the big deal was that he was going to do the whole thing

without a microphone.

Everyone was really excited, except Mark Shapiro's dad,

he owned a really great microphone.

(gentle guitar music)

- [Drifter] I was in some diner off the county highway

and I remember the pancakes, they were fluffy

and the syrup, the syrup was golden and sticky,

just how I liked it.

So I dug in.

The warmth filled my body and spirit,

and I thought all this for under $5?

What a steal, what a life?

And I looked up smiling, but my booth was empty,

just me, all alone, nobody to share even this moment with.

And I had no place to go, no one to call.

So I turned out my pockets for change

and ordered another short stack.

And while I waited,

I stared at the display poster for choking victims

and how if you were choking,

the diagram explained that a friend or a loved one

would come to your aid to help you and hold you,

and I was alone in the booth when my pancakes arrived.

So I smothered them in golden syrup, took the utensils

and began to eat fast,

dangerously fast. (gentle guitar music)

- [Drifter] He made quick work

- [Drifter] Of this short stack.

- [Drifter] Yeah.

You eat at a lot of diners when you're on the open road

and you meet a lot of people.

- [Drifter] I've met so many cool people on the open road.

I've met people from all over the country

and one time, I met people from all over the world.

- [Drifter] Another thing about life on the open road

is the nights.

Nights on the open road are darker.

You sleep deeper.

Your dreams

get weirder.

- [Drifter] Gather round.

Nightfall is comin'.

The insects will be out soon.

(crickets chirping and coyote cooing)

(fire crackling)

(foreboding music)

(drifter gulping loudly)

- One year at summer camp

we lit a huge bonfire in the fire pit

and a snake came crawling out of the fire

just out of nowhere.

It came crawling out of the fire

and slithered right over to Sean Bensinger

and bit his ankle.

And the next week his voice got deeper

and he lost his baby fat.

And then a couple days after that,

he had little patches of stubble on his face.

And a couple days after that,

he started looking really serious and worried all the time.

And then finally,

and by now looking really fully like a man,

he walked into the mess hall one afternoon in a full suit

and told us all he had to go take care of some business

and left.

Later that day, Vince McGuire was down by the lake

and he saw that same snake from the fire

and he killed it with a rock.

And then the next day,

they announced a late arrival for the summer

and it was a new boy that looked, not completely,

but very much like Sean Bensinger.

And we all just went with it.

- [Drifter] Go with it.

- [Drifter] Years later, I was riding on the train

and I saw a man who wasn't afraid of anything.

You could feel it in the air when you were near him.

He was wearing a crisp dark suit,

the tie loosened and the top button undone,

as if relaxing after a long day at an important job.

He sat big and straight,

one long arm extended casually down the back of the seat,

claiming his territory.

He looked around slowly

and thoughtfully at everyone else on the train.

You could just feel it in the air around him

that this man wasn't afraid of anything.

If someone gave him a funny look, he smirked,

friendly but patronizing at the same time,

as if to say we're all just having fun here

why don't you join us?

Every so often he'd look over his shoulder out the window

and laugh a little to himself enjoying a joke

that only someone who's not afraid of anything could enjoy.

I was sitting near him taking all this in

when he suddenly leaned towards me and,

as if knowing what I'd been thinking said,

"But maybe I wish I was afraid of something,

"because I also don't care about anything.

"And maybe you don't know what you care about

"until you know what you're really afraid of."

And then, seemingly all at the same moment,

everyone on the train realized

that a small steady stream of water

was running out of each of his ears,

two tiny rivers of tears, as if two leaks had sprung

on either side of his head,

a lifetime of tears running out of each ear,

down the backs of his jaw,

flooding into his shirt-collar on either side.

And from there, who knows where it went.

And he just sat there smirking at us,

acting like that wasn't the case.

And at the next stop everyone got off the train,

not just our car, but all the cars.

Everyone got off except that man

and no one new got on the train.

We all stood on the platform and watched him ride off alone

looking out the window at us smirking peacefully

enjoying the silence.

Nice.

- [Both Drifters] Nice.

(foreboding music) (clock ticking)

(breathing sharply)

(clock ticking) (gentle guitar music)

- I've been having trouble sleeping lately.

I can't sleep.

I'm avoiding the wrist ticklers.

A lot of folks don't believe in the wrist ticklers,

or even know of them but I do.

I've spotted dozens of those little guys over the years.

Wrist ticklers are a sneaky people

who shrink each other down using a shrinking device.

They sneak under the cracks in your door and window,

crawl up in your bed,

pull out small feathers from your pillow

and tickle your wrists ever so slightly.

You won't wake up, but you'll toss and turn

and never know about these sly intruders,

the wrist ticklers. (foreboding music)

After many sleepless nights I knew something was off.

I could feel the bending of reality,

fiction and nonfiction were aligned,

indistinguishable for a brief time.

I eventually discovered

that the written word was affecting reality in real time.

A scribble on a notepad became natural law.

In other words, I was the author of my own reality.

Simple pleasures were easy.

I could write on the table was a cup of hot cocoa

and there it appeared,

or I could write my body experienced a substantial orgasm

and the pen would drop out of my hand in celebration.

Unfortunately, this secret was spreading.

And out my window, the sky lit up with a barrage of colors

and events too many ideas to contain

because, of course not all written commands were pleasant.

The world was going mad with experiments, power and greed.

Anyone with a pen anywhere

could anonymously will destruction on their enemies

at a moment's notice.

A written command of a revenge would begin,

but then being quickly canceled out

by the next written phrase that disagreed.

After all,

reality could only honor the latest contradiction.

And with the freedom of internal desires

exposing some of our darkest wishes,

these writings could have destroyed us all

quickly and mercilessly.

That is, if it wasn't for a small collective of writers

in San Francisco, who worked in shifts

staggering their written phrases to end in rapid succession

like an endless flip book, a metronome of incredible pace

that simply repeated, let there be peace on earth,

let there be peace on earth.

- Let there be peace on earth. - Let there be peace on earth

- Let there be peace on earth. - Let there be peace on earth

- [Drifter] Let there be peace on earth.

- [Drifter] And I haven't seen the wrist tickler since.

Nice.

- [Both Drifters] Nice.

- [Drifter] Back in the city,

- [Drifter] I feel like I've seen all of this before.

(twangy music)

- [Drifter] Sometimes you look in the mirror

to see who you are.

- [Drifter] But sometimes you look in the mirror

to see what you could have become.

- [Both Drifters] We're looking into the mirror.

(drifter gulping loudly) (foreboding music)

(gulping loudly)

(drum beating) (foreboding music)

(slurping and gulping loudly)

(foreboding music) (drum beating)

(cigarette crackling)

(breath gushing)

(drum beating) (chiming)

(electric crackling)

(creepy music)

(slurping and gulping) (cigarette crackling)

(breath gushing)

(electric crackling) (man slurping)

(man gulping) (breath gushing)

(men slurping) (electric cracking)

(breath gushing)

(foreboding music)

- [Drifter] There are many roads you can travel,

many paths to wander.

- [Drifter] If you travel long enough,

you eventually end up back in the same place.

- [Drifter] I feel like I've seen all this before.

- [Drifter] I feel like I've seen all this before.

- [All] I feel like I've seen all this before.

(guitar strings twanging)

- [Drifter] Wow, it all makes sense now.

- [Drifter] Now I understand.

- [Drifter] I had a rough day.

I just found out that nobody else's eyes can zoom.

My eyes zoom.

I'm able to zoom in and out with my eyes,

in and out. - In and out.

- [Drifter] In and out like a barn owl.

- [Drifter] Zoom zoom.

(twangy music)

My shirt's been tucked in for two years,

and I can't get it out.

I think it might be caught on something,

or maybe I'm just getting

- [Both Drifters] Older.

- [Drifter] Just getting older.

(twangy music)

I hear a lot of rumors.

I actually heard that on the show Survivor,

if you create some drama within your tribe,

a producer will sneak out of the jungle

and reward you with a Snickers bar.

That's why there's so much drama.

(twangy music)

- [Drifter] Once every seven years,

all the dogs in my neighborhood sync up

and bark at the exact same time.

And there's always a big celebration planned around it.

Everyone in the neighborhood shows up.

We all come together as one, losing ourselves in the party.

- [Drifter] I'm partying.

- [Drifter] At the party, we forget about everything,

except that one big bark. - One big bark.

- [Drifter] And then the next day

the dogs go back to barking individually

and everyone in the neighborhood

goes back to doing their own thing.

And we all wait quietly for the next seven years

until the dogs sync up again.

(twangy music)

- [Drifter] I like to sit in crowded movie theaters alone.

I wait for that moment right after a preview ends,

you know, when it goes full silent.

And that's when I shout nope, not gonna see that one.

(twangy music)

- [Drifter] Well, the X-rays came back

and it turns out I haven't had lungs for a while now.

The doctors are trying to figure out where all the air goes

when I breathe in.

They think it might be ending up

in a small town in Nebraska, that's been having some

- [Both Drifters] Weird weather this year.

(twangy music)

- [Drifter] I was having trouble

finding a publisher for my zine,

so I did some soul-searching.

I took long introspective walks.

I ran some numbers and ultimately decided to go ahead

and self-publish. - Self-publish.

- [Drifter] I self-published my zine.

- [Drifter] I had to repeat the second grade

and also the eighth grade,

because I could never fully wrap my head around birds

and I still don't know if I totally get it.

I understand how they go up, but how do they go forward?

- [Drifter] I don't know.

Maybe they flap those little feathers in the back.

(twangy music)

I saw a tourist taking a picture of a tumbleweed.

So what I did was I took a picture of the tourist

taking a picture of the tumbleweed and it looked cool.

The photo said a lot.

And I got excited and lightheaded

and sat down on the ground smirking to myself

about her how creative and spontaneous I was.

- [Drifter] So spontaneous.

My uncle Kelly went bald on top of his head

and he was pretty pissed off

until he discovered that he had a second face up there.

And that face was much younger and handsomer

than his first face.

So he just looked down all the time and went with it.

- [Drifter] Go with it.

My book club was turning into an excuse club.

My social life was crumbling,

so I took it upon myself to draft up some bylaws

for the club and one night I went around

to each member's house

and I nailed them to their front door,

- [Both Drifters] Martin Luther style.

- [Drifter] And sure enough, the next month

the club was bustling at full attendance

and the analysis was thorough and engaging.

- [Drifter] I've eaten that book.

I'm trying to teach myself how to be able to look at a word

and not read it,

because I find that it's impossible to do.

And they don't tell you that when you're learning to read.

They don't warn you that once you learn this,

you can't take it back.

- [Drifter] You can't take that back.

(hypnotic music)

♪ Devil's trying to stop me ♪

♪ The Devil is trying to stop me ♪

♪ The Devil is trying to stop me ♪

♪ Why he did that, ♪

♪ Why he did that, oh, why did that ♪

♪ Why he did that, oh ♪

♪ God, Devil, which one will I choose ♪

♪ Which one will I choose ♪

♪ The Devil is trying to stop me ♪

(hypnotic music)

- [Both Drifters] Who was that guy?

- [Drifter] I think he's probably like 40.

In high school, some students

took a religious release period right before lunch

to attend Chapel or seminary,

and they would spend a quick 45 minutes praying to their God

before hitting the cafeteria to lay waste to a Cobb salad.

I took a release period as well,

but for the socially awkward.

It was mandatory for select students

and we were trained from a young age

how to avoid embarrassing situations,

how to talk to a girl,

how to behave on a group email thread

and, most importantly, what to do with your hands.

(hypnotic music)

- [Drifter] Well, I've got some bad news.

Turns out I've been doing yoga wrong this whole time.

And now I've only got three months to live.

(hypnotic music)

- [Drifter] When I was 17,

I was kidnapped and put in a steel room.

I was placed behind a drafting table

and was forced to design airport carpets,

10 patterns an hour, 20 patterns an hour.

A couple the famous patterns are actually my originals.

When I eventually grew insane,

the patterns were used in casinos, wall-to-wall,

pattern after pattern.

And looking back,

although those sick twisted men ruined my life,

they managed to help produce some of my greatest work

and unlock my

- [Both Drifters] Full creative potential.

(hypnotic music)

- [Drifter] I used to think I could speak Spanish,

but now

I don't know what that was.

(hypnotic music)

(static crackling)

- Reveries. - Reveries reveries, reveries.

- [Drifter] Reveries.

(hypnotic music)

(airplane engine humming) (hypnotic music)