Original subtitles

What's worse?

Mental rubbish or emotional rubbish?

When nonsense starts making sense,

does it make more sense to be senseless?

Should I fuck you or should I just fuck it?

Why aren't you coming?

It's my wedding, Jeh.

I want you in my corner.

I want Dee in my corner.

I fucking need you both in my corner!

I love how I'm stuck between the two of you.

Jeh...

She loves you.

You know that, right?

Truly.

You're clearly very busy, so...

-Anj, what do I do? -I've been calling him!

He hasn't even returned my calls or texts!

Obviously, I'm trying to calm her down.

-What else do you think I'm doing? -He's just wiped me out!

I don't even exist for him!

I don't know! He's just not...

-He's just not calling me back! -Dee, it's fine. It's fine, okay?

-I'm here. I'll help you pack. Come. -I... I...

-I'll pack for you. -You...

-Will you teach me? -Do you think he'll come for the wedding?

You invited him, right?

Maybe he'll come for you. He doesn't give a shit about me!

I didn't do it on purpose!

I told him I'm sorry!

-But he still... -Let me...let me help you, Dee.

-It's okay. Dee, it's fine! -No. no, no!

Leave it!

Just leave it!

What are you standing here for?

Go open the door! Maybe it's Jeh!

Hey, Damini. I've got your pre-natal meds for your trip.

What's wrong? What happened?

Talk to me. Talk to me.

Can't breathe.

Don't worry about it. Close your eyes.

Just breathe. Focus on your breathing.

Inhale through the nose.

C'mon, inhale through the nose.

One.

Two.

Breathe out.

One... two...

Again, c'mon.

Breathe in. Exhale.

That's good.

Everything will be fine.

Feeling better?

Doc, do you think Dee should travel in this condition?

I'm fine, Mangs.

You're not fine, Dee.

And it breaks my heart to say this but...

maybe you shouldn't come to the wedding.

What is wrong with you?

It's your wedding, Mangs. I have to be there.

And what if something happens to you on my watch?

Nothing will happen to me.

-Dee, will you please just listen-- -No, I won't listen.

Hey, hey, guys!

What if I offer my presence?

What? No!

-As a doctor. -No!

-No! Aamir, no! -Damini, as a doctor.

That's a really good idea.

-No, Mangs. -Doc, I'm officially inviting you.

-Please come to my wedding. -Mangs, no. Please, no!

It's my wedding and for your health,

my peace of mind, he's coming!

Oh my God.

-Wow! This place is amazing! -Ya.

Cheer up, Dee.

Sids, you're matching the environment.

I was built for royalty, guys.

I don't get it. Is this a wedding or a social media circus?

God, Mangs! A little perspective, please!

You're having a fairytale wedding. That too, with Samara Kapoor!

So can you just shut up and smile!

Just shut up and smile!

Wow!

That's a camel!

-Where? -Oh, my God!

Wow, Mangs! Full feels!

Guys! This is so much fun!

People arrive on horses. You'll be arriving on a camel!

Come meet Mama.

This is Ava.

Hi, Aunt Ava.

Don't call me auntie.

You can call me Mama.

Now, now...

-This is my sister-in-law, Caroline. -Hi!

-These little munchkins are my nieces. -Hi!

-That's my brother over there, Sidharth. -Hi!

-This is Maya, my crazy sister. -You're family now.

And her long suffering boyfriend, Ben!

Oh, my God! This is incredible! So much fun!

Guys, this is my family.

-This is Siddhi. -Hi!

-This is Damini. -Hi!

-And this is Anjana. -Hi!

Nice to see you girls.

Hi! How are you? Thank you.

Are you getting it? You're getting it, right?

Come, come, let's all pose together for the photographers.

Okay.

Come, come. Come to the centre.

-Come to the centre. -Come, come, come.

-Mama, come. -Ready?

Smile!

Umara.

Umara!

-The wedding has begun! -Yay! Feels so good!

Anywhere you look, there's a camera!

Feels more like a reality show than a wedding.

Mangs, calm down.

I get that all this is new for you. And for us.

But, this is Samara's life.

Oh, shit!

Anj, are you fucking kidding me?

Mangs, I haven't invited him.

Why would I call my secret affair to a celebrity wedding?

Calm down.

If neither you nor Mangs invited him,

then why the hell is he here?

Oh, shit.

Shashank.

C'mon, darling, Umang's here.

-Come meet her. -Oh, shit. That's Sushmita, his wife.

Sam is going to kill me.

Mangs, you were right.

This is not a wedding. This is a reality show.

Sush!

Hey!

Sush!

Umang, Umang! Sush meet Umang.

Umang.

-You have to meet Sushmita. -So lovely to meet you.

-Congratulations! -Thank you.

This is Sush, my roommate from Boston University.

Oh. Sushmita from college!

-I've heard a lot about you. -That's me.

-Hi, Anjana. -Hi, Shashank.

-How's it going? -Going well.

-Damini, you've met... -From the publisher's party.

-Yes, I do. And you are? -That's Siddhi.

-Siddhi. And you? -Shashank.

-Shashank. -Nice to meet you.

-Anjana. -Hi...

So lovely to finally meet you.

-Lovely to meet you, too. -Hi.

-Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. -That's Damini, Siddhi.

Guys, I'm going to go check-in.

-Ya, sure. -Okay, come guys.

-Let me know if you need anything at all. -Come, let's go.

-I'll catch up with you guys in a second. -Ya.

Okay, just make sure they're comfortable.

Damini.

Siddhi.

Siddhi Patel.

Thank you.

So creepy.

It's one thing to be with him in a hotel room or at work.

And a totally different thing to be around his wife.

Anj, it's an open marriage.

Shashank must've told her about you.

Besides, you never know.

He might just call you for a fun threesome!

-Yuck! -Siddhi!

If I had to disappoint two people at once,

I'd rather go and spend a weekend with my parents.

Just stay away from him please.

Listen, I hate to say this but I told you so.

Guys, this was supposed to be a fun escape!

Nothing is a fun escape anymore.

Okay listen, Dee I think I'm shifting with you.

I'm not leaving you alone.

Wow. First Warsi, then you.

I have so many caretakers.

-So blessed. -Yes, you are.

But for a fact. Isn't Warsi hotter than us as a caretaker?

Excuse me, speak for yourself.

I'm a Goddess.

I agree.

Yay! What's up?

Woah! What's up, bro?

How was your flight?

Not bad. Just a little tired.

-Hey, Mihir. Hi. -Hi, how are you?

-Hi. -Hi, how are you?

I had to invite him. I know you're not over him.

Of course I'm over him, Mangs.

Then, why do you keep stalking him on social media?

Have you lost your mind?

I don't stalk him. I just want to see whether he's moved on or not.

That's it.

And why does it matter to you?

It doesn't.

I was dating Amit, right?

That's proof that I don't care about Mihir.

You do care about Mihir.

That's why the minute Amit started getting serious,

you panicked!

And let's be honest. Amit was your rebound.

So bloody what?

Every-- Everybody has a rebound.

What's wrong with that?

Sids, you need closure.

And this is why I invited Mihir.

Maybe he needs closure as well.

And that's why he's here.

No, Mangs. You should've asked me.

I know you would've said no.

-Exactly! -Exactly.

Shit!

You scared me! What's wrong with you, Shashank?

Leave me. Leave my hand!

What can I say?

You drive me crazy.

You knew I was going to be at the wedding.

I took four days off.

You didn't find it important to mention that you were coming,

and that too with your wife?

I couldn't stay away from you.

And I wanted to surprise you.

Surprise me?

How twisted are you?

I'm not twisted, I just want to--

Shashank!

Doesn't it bother you that you're going to be with me now and later with your wife?

As far as I remember, we've spoken about this and...

things are cool, right?

I don't think I'm very cool with all this.

This is all getting too sordid for me.

And being in the hotel room wasn't sordid for you?

Shashank, she is right here.

She's in the hotel somewhere.

I'll have to see her face after I've been with her husband.

Till now she was this intangible concept for me.

So, you're going to break my heart and call this a... no touch weekend?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Don't be such a prude.

Look, I didn't know that you didn't know.

I know.

-I can leave if you-- -Do you want to leave?

Do you want me to leave?

What do you want?

Really?

Then, why did you come at all?

How are your parents?

Good.

Papa was upset for a while but...

we're fine now.

That's good.

I... I mean about the reconciliation. Not that he was upset.

And your... parents?

My mom left him.

But she's refusing to move to New York.

Says her life is here in Mumbai.

Siddhi, I missed you.

Mihir, nothing is the same anymore.

But we're still where we were, right?

No... I don't even know where I am.

I feel like a girl in transit.

With a...

stopover in my city?

Do I need a visa?

You have a lifetime visa on arrival.

Coffee?

Let's go.

Oh, my God!

I missed you so much.

-I missed you. -I missed you, too.

Are you still upset about the wedding? There's only 30 people.

That's like 28 too many.

Just one for me.

-Who's that? Who's that? -Well, I'm looking at her.

-I'm looking at her. -Me? Is that me?

Just... wait here. One second.

Ma'am, your radio interview is scheduled for 04:00 p.m.

Okay, thanks.

Okay.

-Where were we? -Here.

I'm so happy you're here.

Ya? What is it?

Ma'am, costume trial for the pre-wedding shoot.

Oh damn, I forgot.

I'll be there in five.

What shoot is this now?

Baby, it's our bridal photoshoot.

I told you about it.

When?

Just give me a second, okay?

Okay, yes. Look, one second.

Sam, they're calling you for the video chat interview.

-Now? -Yes, right now.

-Okay, I'm coming. -Okay.

Umang, just start the costume trial.

I'll quickly wrap up the interview.

Need any help?

No, thank you.

I should take folding lessons from you.

Hey, little one. It's me, your dad.

Be gentle on your mom, okay?

No acid reflux, no gas, no back pain.

Can they hear?

Well, some theories say they can.

But this was more for you.

Just relax.

I've got you.

Would you like some tea?

-Make you a cup? -Ya, maybe.

Chamomile, coming up.

I feel completely rested, rejuvenated.

And you know, to be completely accepted for who I am...

is the greatest gift that my fans could give me.

-Ma'am... -I'm so grateful.

Samara ma'am has chosen these three outfits for you.

Is it normal to feel lonely at one's own wedding?

-Oh! -Oh!

Anjana.

I am so sorry.

No, no. It's great bumping into you.

I mean, quite literally of course.

Great. See you.

You know, I've heard a lot about you from Shashank.

It's funny but I feel like I already know you.

But I don't, do I?

No, I guess.

Let's fix that.

Drink?

Oh, my God. Baby, I'm so sorry this took so much time.

I miss you.

I really miss you so much.

You're so busy. Do you even have the time to miss me?

It's a lot of work to put together this wedding, baby.

-Is that what you chose? -Ya.

It's gorgeous.

Let's get ready, okay?

Let's get ready for the next shoot.

My outfit's in here.

Wine?

It's 11 in the morning.

C'mon, it's a wedding.

That means we get to drink all day.

Hi, two glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon please.

Sure, ma'am.

So, tell me. How's it going at the firm?

Shashank must be working you hard.

Ya. No, he's very chilled out.

He's great.

I am sure he is.

I hear you guys make a great team.

Thanks.

You have a daughter, don't you?

Ya. She's four.

And how does she handle the late nights?

On those nights, she stays with her dad.

So, you're separated?

Separated, divorced and he's remarried.

Thank you. You want another one?

-Husband? -Oh God, no!

No. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I meant a child.

No. One and done.

Ya. Well, I know how that goes.

It's none and done for us.

And I think we just value our freedom too much.

To just be, do as we please.

You know, I always wonder...

Does freedom exist in the construct of marriage?

My marriage was a complete lockdown.

Well, you need to communicate with each other about your needs and...

of course, honesty is super important.

You know.

Guys, wait for me.

C'mon.

Hey, look at that one.

C'mon, everybody, all eyes here.

It's kho-kho time!

-We're going to have Team A and Team B. -What?

Mihir, Maya, Ben, Sushmita in Team A.

Hey! C'mon, let's play.

I've been in way too many parent races courtesy Arya's school.

So, thank you.

You'll be in my team. We'll win. Let's go, c'mon.

-Shashank, what's wrong with you? -It'll be fun. Let's go!

-Take your hand off. -Okay, okay, let's play.

Take your shoes off and you'll be fine.

-And this dress? -I'll give you my jacket.

What about you?

What about me?

If you want a normal delivery, squats are great for your pelvic muscles.

C'mon! Let's do it!

C'mon! We're winning this one!

Run! Run! Run! Come on, guys! Come on!

Guys! My turn. C'mon, guys! C'mon!

I'm getting you! Shashank!

There you are!

Go, Shashank go!

Tag someone! Anj!

-Let go! -Go!

Go, Sush!

Sush, tag someone!

Tag someone, Sush!

-Sush, tag someone! -Sushmita!

Oh, c'mon!

Sushmita, tag someone!

Tag someone!

Tag someone, Sush! You have to tag someone!

I feel like a mannequin.

You're anything but a mannequin, my Ludhianvi live wire.

Lovely!

How about the two of you get a little closer?

Like this.

We haven't been close for a minute since we got here.

Weddings are hectic.

Brides, move to the steps. And show me you're in love!

Now, I have to show her that I'm in love?

She's just giving directions, okay?

-Here? -Yes.

-Centre? -Yes.

What am I even doing here?

You're just being your usual sulky self, obviously.

Dorothy, there's shine on Umang's forehead.

Mayank, move the light this side.

-I'll click you till then. -Come. Take some.

Hey!

What happened?

Umang. Baby. Hang on!

Baby!

Tag me, Sushmita!

C'mon, Sushmita!

C'mon, Sushmita! Sushmita, tag someone!

C'mon! C'mon!

-C'mon! -Tag!

-C'mon! -Tag.

Sushmita, tag anybody.

-Sushmita! -Sushmita, tag.

Please!

-Tag someone. -What's going on!

What the hell?

Please stop.

No, no, no!

Fuck!

-Anj, are you okay? -Anj!

-You okay? -Anj!

Anj, are you okay?

Stop it! I've had enough.

Why do you even want to get married?

So, you can trend on social media?

How can you even say such a thing?

Really?

Really?

This is a goddamn circus!

These interviews, these photoshoots, these non-stop live feeds!

It's like a circus!

Listen. These things have to be done.

I just wish that you would stop behaving like a teenager!

-God! -Why? Why?

Because it's good for your career?

Because it's going to keep you in the news?

Ya. Ya! You know what?

It is good for my career and it will keep me in the news.

What's wrong with that?

Have you forgotten about something called privacy?

A sense of belonging? Love?

It's hashtag Umara, Umara, Umara all over.

Does Umara even exist between us?

Since we've come here,

I haven't had a minute to look at your face, Sam.

You're looking at it now, okay?

And that's what the honeymoon is for, baby.

You have no idea how self-centered you sound right now.

It's amazing.

So do you!

Umang!

Babe, listen. We need to talk!

I can't keep chasing you.

Darlings.

Where have you been?

We're having so much fun.

Come with us. Come.

Okay.

Mom, mom! Wait. Listen.

I'll... I'll catch up with you. In a minute.

In a minute. Enjoy.

How bad?

Did everyone hear that?

Ya, pretty much.

Listen, it's okay.

Wedding stress. It's totally understandable.

Are you two okay?

Anything we can do to take the load off?

No, we're fine.

We should...

Ya, just take a break.

Okay.

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry!

When that girl was pounding my face with powder, I lost it.

I just lost it.

I'm sorry, too.

You should be sorry.

Hey!

-What? -Shut up.

-You shut up. -You shut up.

Best outfits to snuggle in.

-I'm sorry about that. -The best.

I don't want to fight.

Got it.

Just make sure you give me some cake after this.

Like butterscotch. Like red velvet.

-One minute. Hang on. -Okay!

So one, two, three and four.

-Five, six, seven and eight. -Seven and eight.

-And twice. -Twice.

This, too.

This hand is straight?

Guys, I think Mihir wants to get back with me.

You know, Warsi keeps talking to the baby.

It's so weird.

And what's with that Sushmita?

She's just being competitive, Anj.

Shashank must've told her that you're awesome in bed.

Are you?

Shut up.

Guys...

I don't want to do this.

I need some wine.

And I shouldn't have any more wine.

God, I miss wine. I can't have wine.

I could do with some pizza though.

Shall we order?

Guys, we're going to suck so bad at the dance.

We will need wine and pizza both.

-Oh, my God! Look at Mom! -So cute!

Yay!

Hi!

I love you! I love you!

Ya!

That was amazing!

Such a wonderful performance by Samara's family.

You guys were all so good!

Love you!

Now, put your hands together for Umang's family.

Siddhi, Anjana, Damini, can we please have you on stage?

What!

Go Mihir! Let's go!

This is my family!

All of them are my best friends.

I love them.

Now we'll have on stage...

Guys, I love you so much!

...the bride and bride.

Congratulations.

Get a room, Mangs!

-Amazing! -Was it good?

Superb!

I'll just come.

Your hard work has paid off!

Double celebrations when you're back!

We love you, Damini!

Jeh...

The number you have dialed is busy. Please try later.

What happened?

Bad news?

Good news, actually.

What?

My book just made it to the top ten bestsellers.

Wow! That's amazing!

-Congratulations! -Thank you.

-Let's go tell everyone. -No.

-C'mon! -No! It's Umang's night.

Not now.

I'll tell them after the wedding.

Anju.

I love you. I love you.

I love my Anju. I love my Anju.

Tell me something.

If there's guilt, why don't you end it once and for all?

I don't think this is you at all.

Am I wrong?

What's going on?

Come, let's dance.

What do you want, Damini?

What do you want?

I thought I knew everything I wanted.

Ya.

Now, I just want to be happy.

Don't go turning into a shrink.

I need you to be my friend.

I am your friend.

But.

Truth be told...

The first time you left me for that boy,

it hurt.

And the second time,

it hurt a bit much.

Why do you keep calling him "that boy"?

Trying to dismiss the competition, I guess.

He's not competition.

You mean, I'm not his competition, right?

You know, Damini...

Heartbreaks are painful.

But when you hear your baby cry for the first time,

you'll forget all your pain.

At least that's what I've heard.

I don't have any children of my own.

At least not those I know of.

Who knows, maybe one day, an 18-year-old will land up at my doorstep...

saying, " Hello, Daddy!"

I must make my will really fast and leave everything to this one.

It's so quiet here.

You can hear the silence.

I don't feel like going back to Mumbai.

So, don't.

And do what?

I've already backpacked through Europe on Sneha's money...

and this stand-up barely pays.

Because this is just the first step.

Better your skills.

Do a comedy writing course.

Don't be silly.

I just found out that I can be funny.

But I always knew.

You know what, come to New York.

The birthplace of stand-up.

-Are you crazy? -Seriously.

Check this out.

One search and I've already found four different one year courses in New York.

See.

-One year diploma course. -Ya.

It's 15,000 dollars, Mihir! Have you lost it?

I can't ask Papa for this kind of money.

Take it from me.

And...

And you can stay with me.

See Mihir, this is what I'm talking about.

What?

Why do you want to save me?

I'm not some damsel-in-distress that needs saving.

Siddi-Piddi, I'm saving myself.

I'm being selfish.

I want you to move to New York so that...

so that we can have a chance at being together again.

Mihir, why don't you just move on, please?

Have you?

Mihir, I think the reason I haven't moved on is because of what happened.

Not because of what I feel for you.

Sorry.

Well then, I guess there's nothing else left to say.

So, I have been offered the Head of Department position...

at the Singapore Central Hospital.

Wow, Aamir! That's amazing!

And you were celebrating my news. Such a martyr.

I leave in two months.

Don't worry, we'll figure out something.

You can come down to Mumbai sometimes.

Sometimes the baby and I can come see you in Singapore.

Come with me.

What? Don't be silly.

Why not?

Singapore is one of the best places to bring up a child.

The best health care, best educational facilities, large parks.

I can't just leave Mumbai.

Why not?

Listen, I thought I'd made it clear that we were...

We are just co-parents.

Of course, we'll be co-parents.

I mean, we'll just be a really modern family.

Together, yet separate.

And you can write your books and articles from anywhere.

Isn't that right?

Think about it.

Babe listen, I'll be back.

-Just some wedding stuff. -Okay.

Okay, I think we're done.

Let me see.

It's a beautiful night, isn't it?

Done taking selfies with your wife?

Do you realize you look even more gorgeous when you're jealous?

I'm not jealous, Shashank.

And I so want to kiss you right now.

Shashank, please. Please! I'm very uncomfortable...

and confused about this whole thing!

Let me make it okay.

Let me make it okay.

-Shashank, please! -What the hell!

What the fuck is going on?