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00:00:00,004 --> 00:00:03,121
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
2
00:00:03,907 --> 00:00:06,574
Okay, that'll be...
3
00:00:08,444 --> 00:00:11,812
- ...$35.00.
- 35 bucks for toilet paper?
4
00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:14,949
Yeesh, does it also come with
one of those butt fountains?
5
00:00:14,951 --> 00:00:17,451
- You know what a bidet is?
- Ha. Yeah.
6
00:00:17,453 --> 00:00:19,620
I, uh, also know
it doesn't cost anything
7
00:00:19,622 --> 00:00:22,056
to run a garden hose
through your bathroom window.
8
00:00:22,058 --> 00:00:23,991
That's...
No, that's 3.50.
9
00:00:23,993 --> 00:00:25,594
Oh, man, sorry about that.
10
00:00:25,595 --> 00:00:28,763
- I have not been sleeping well lately.
- Thank you.
11
00:00:28,864 --> 00:00:31,899
Now I'm gonna go take care
of some personal business,
12
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,335
and then I'm gonna take a dump.
13
00:00:33,336 --> 00:00:36,938
I wish we sold brain wipes
so I could forget I heard that.
14
00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:40,007
- So, why haven't you been sleeping?
- I keep having nightmares.
15
00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:41,009
What's a nightmare for you?
16
00:00:41,010 --> 00:00:43,210
Open the fridge,
and there's no cheese slices?
17
00:00:43,212 --> 00:00:46,280
No, it's not that terrifying.
It's just disturbing.
18
00:00:46,282 --> 00:00:48,049
I can't remember all the details,
19
00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:52,153
but they all seem to end with
Michael J. Fox attacking me.
20
00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:57,358
Look, kid,
don't make my boys get tough.
21
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,360
All you gotta do
is take dive in the fifth,
22
00:00:59,362 --> 00:01:01,095
and you get a nice chunk o' change.
23
00:01:01,097 --> 00:01:03,631
You get me?
The fix is in, kid.
24
00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:07,635
No one is fixing anything
while I'm around, tubby!
25
00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:11,172
And then he said,
26
00:01:11,173 --> 00:01:13,808
"No one is fixing anything
while I'm around, handsome!"
27
00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:15,810
and he blasted me with bullets.
28
00:01:15,812 --> 00:01:17,678
- He called you handsome?
- Yes.
29
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,247
Yes, he did.
30
00:01:19,248 --> 00:01:22,817
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
31
00:01:22,819 --> 00:01:25,953
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
32
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:29,361
2x01 - Dream Waiver
33
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:32,860
These Michael J. Fox dreams
are really starting to freak me out.
34
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:36,664
Yeah, they sound horrifying.
Well, see you in five days!
35
00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:38,666
Five days?
Wh-where are you going?
36
00:01:38,668 --> 00:01:41,202
I already told you, I'm heading
to Vegas for the weekend.
37
00:01:41,204 --> 00:01:43,070
How long do you think a weekend is?
38
00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:45,840
- Does it have to be this weekend?
- Yeah!
39
00:01:45,842 --> 00:01:47,908
I got a promo code
for Cheap Wing Airlines.
40
00:01:47,910 --> 00:01:50,678
It expires in 24 hours.
I have to book it now.
41
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,014
No way!
You-you can't leave me like this.
42
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:56,280
My head isn't workin' right.
Look how I stacked the oil!
43
00:01:56,952 --> 00:01:58,120
Just don't make
any sudden movements
44
00:01:58,121 --> 00:02:00,654
until I get back.
See ya!
45
00:02:00,656 --> 00:02:03,124
No, you-you can't go
until I can get some sleep.
46
00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:05,493
I can't miss out on
a flight this cheap.
47
00:02:05,495 --> 00:02:09,264
Okay look, if I solve your stupid
dream problem, can I go to Vegas?
48
00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:10,932
Yeah, but how are you
going to do that?
49
00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:13,235
Dream analysis.
Crack that melon open
50
00:02:13,236 --> 00:02:16,070
and see what nightmare
goo leaks out.
51
00:02:16,072 --> 00:02:17,872
You're speaking theoretically, right?
52
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:24,845
Ow! There's a loose
board on these stairs!
53
00:02:24,847 --> 00:02:27,948
- Damn near killed me.
- Do it again, and try harder.
54
00:02:27,950 --> 00:02:31,685
- Oscar, are you okay?
- I think I broke a toe!
55
00:02:31,687 --> 00:02:32,921
Step aside, we got this.
56
00:02:33,956 --> 00:02:36,992
- What the hell are you...
- Elevate your toe behind your head.
57
00:02:36,993 --> 00:02:39,593
- Put this spoon under your tongue.
- Stand back!
58
00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,294
I need to punch his heart!
59
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:44,598
Ah! Get the hell off
of me, you jackasses.
60
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,402
He's okay.
You all saw him decline first aid.
61
00:02:48,404 --> 00:02:50,938
I saw him get
assaulted by the cops.
62
00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:53,774
Good point.
This is their fault!
63
00:02:53,776 --> 00:02:56,178
- Hey!
- Oh-ho-ho, man.
64
00:02:56,179 --> 00:02:58,112
Spoon in the mouth,
punch in the heart?
65
00:02:58,114 --> 00:03:01,116
- You guys suck at first aid.
- We don't suck.
66
00:03:01,117 --> 00:03:03,385
It's just been a while
since we took the training.
67
00:03:03,386 --> 00:03:05,319
Maybe it's time
you took a refresher course.
68
00:03:05,321 --> 00:03:08,255
We know everything
we need to know.
69
00:03:10,636 --> 00:03:13,205
- What's up?
- Oscar tripped on the stairs,
70
00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:15,706
and I'm not sure
what my insurance covers.
71
00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:16,875
Here it is.
72
00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:19,476
So, you, uh, covered for a lawsuit?
73
00:03:19,478 --> 00:03:22,246
No. Also not
covered for anything else.
74
00:03:22,248 --> 00:03:26,717
I let this policy expire.
I have no coverage at all.
75
00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:28,919
Yikes.
Well, big day,
76
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,955
gotta climb up onto the roof
and fix the vent,
77
00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:32,356
find the leak in the gas line,
78
00:03:32,357 --> 00:03:34,025
and these knives aren't going
to sharpen themselves.
79
00:03:34,026 --> 00:03:36,861
No, no! Just leave it.
You just, uh...
80
00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:39,998
you go sit down, on a pillow.
81
00:03:43,803 --> 00:03:46,837
D.R.P.D.
We'll be right there.
82
00:03:47,706 --> 00:03:49,406
We're here.
83
00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:52,911
- What's the problem?
- He's over there.
84
00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:56,247
I think I broke my leg.
85
00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:59,517
Okay, don't move.
Can you wiggle your toes?
86
00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:01,252
Put your head between your knees.
87
00:04:01,254 --> 00:04:03,622
- Do not induce vomiting.
- Vomiting?
88
00:04:03,623 --> 00:04:06,224
Wow. You guys are even
worse than I thought.
89
00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,393
He's in shock.
Get some soup!
90
00:04:08,394 --> 00:04:11,161
I'm not in shock,
and my leg is fine.
91
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,530
This was a test.
92
00:04:13,532 --> 00:04:17,034
A test? That's a waste
of official police time.
93
00:04:17,036 --> 00:04:20,171
- I was halfway through a magazine.
- Had to prove my point.
94
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,306
You're the only first
responders in Dog River,
95
00:04:22,308 --> 00:04:24,942
and our safety is in your hands.
96
00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:27,411
So until you take
the refresher test,
97
00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:30,214
I'm gonna keep putting you
through my test.
98
00:04:31,049 --> 00:04:33,866
Better stay on your toes.
99
00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:39,123
Okay, tell me
about your dreams
100
00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,858
so I can figure out
what's wrong with ngyou.
101
00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:44,395
- Details, go.
- I don't recall a lot of detail,
102
00:04:44,397 --> 00:04:47,131
other than Michael J. Fox
is very mean to me.
103
00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:48,899
You're mentally
blocking the dreams
104
00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,668
because you're too uptight.
105
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:54,171
Here... sit down.
I gotta get you to relax.
106
00:04:54,173 --> 00:04:57,041
Breathe deep.
107
00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:59,243
Calm your mind.
108
00:05:01,831 --> 00:05:03,231
That's calmer
than I was intending.
109
00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:06,601
But this gives me the chance to...
Hi, Cheap Wing Airlines?
110
00:05:06,602 --> 00:05:09,603
Yeah, I want to book a flight
to Vegas for this weekend,
111
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:13,432
and I have a promo code. Um...
What do you mean "not valid"?
112
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:15,409
Okay, what kind of scam
are you trying to pull?
113
00:05:15,411 --> 00:05:18,179
Don't give me that fake, "I don't
know what you're talking about."
114
00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:20,447
I'm the last person
you want to piss off, lady.
115
00:05:20,449 --> 00:05:24,318
- I can be your worst nightmare.
- Aah! Michael J. Fox!
116
00:05:27,188 --> 00:05:31,058
And... how are we
doing over here?
117
00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,860
Shall I clear these plates?
118
00:05:32,862 --> 00:05:35,597
"Shall"?
Sure thing, Shakespeare.
119
00:05:35,598 --> 00:05:37,898
I hope you saved room
for dessert.
120
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,901
In fact, Oscar, how would
you like a free pudding?
121
00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,437
Damn right I would!
122
00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:46,541
I just need you to, uh, sign here,
and I'll bring it right out.
123
00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:48,675
Why do you have to
sign for pudding,
124
00:05:48,677 --> 00:05:51,044
and why are you covering
most of it with your hand?
125
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,980
Let me see that.
126
00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:56,451
- This is a legal waiver!
- It is? Wha... that's weird.
127
00:05:56,452 --> 00:05:59,420
Josh, you put some legal stuff
in with the pudding papers!
128
00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:01,722
I've been on the pillow
the whole time!
129
00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:04,792
I see what you're trying
to do, and it's pretty low.
130
00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:07,995
Tricking Oscar so he can't
sue you for his sore toe.
131
00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:10,498
Sue you?
Well, hot damn!
132
00:06:10,499 --> 00:06:13,901
I never even thought
about suing until now.
133
00:06:13,903 --> 00:06:15,169
See you in court, kid.
134
00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:19,129
Me thinks I shall be screwed.
Verily.
135
00:06:22,826 --> 00:06:24,726
♪ Money, money, money ♪
136
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:28,230
♪ I'm coming into money... ♪
Uh, uh, I mean...
137
00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:32,601
Ow. My toe.
I can no longer dance.
138
00:06:32,603 --> 00:06:35,637
Is a life without dancing
even worth living?
139
00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,973
So he's laying it on a little thick.
140
00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:40,342
Although thick is his default setting.
141
00:06:40,344 --> 00:06:43,578
Please, Emma.
You can't let Oscar sue me.
142
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:46,248
If he sues you, it doesn't
come out of your pocket.
143
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:50,952
- Your insurance has to pay.
- I accidentally let my insurance lapse.
144
00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:53,121
If he sues me now,
I'll lose everything.
145
00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:55,457
- I'll be destitute.
- Well...
146
00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:58,460
I guess totally destroying you
would be a bit much.
147
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:01,296
Okay, quick, while it's
still fresh in your mind.
148
00:07:01,298 --> 00:07:03,465
- What happened?
- It was terrible.
149
00:07:03,467 --> 00:07:04,967
Come on, come on,
I'm on hold here.
150
00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:09,204
Well, it started with me
in an old-timey circus tent...
151
00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:17,846
- Michael J. Fox!
- Nice costume, flabby.
152
00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:21,250
I'm surprised there was enough
fabric left over to make this tent.
153
00:07:22,686 --> 00:07:24,686
Why are you doing this to me?
154
00:07:24,688 --> 00:07:28,857
Oh, a frilly umbrella.
Are you a magical British nanny?
155
00:07:28,859 --> 00:07:31,460
Pleased to meet you, Mary Blobbins.
156
00:07:34,198 --> 00:07:36,732
Whoa, whoa!
I want down!
157
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,600
Why didn't you say so?
158
00:07:42,538 --> 00:07:45,408
- Whoa, that is screwed up.
- I know.
159
00:07:45,409 --> 00:07:47,309
Spandex is not a forgiving fabric.
160
00:07:47,311 --> 00:07:49,911
These dreams can only
mean one thing.
161
00:07:49,913 --> 00:07:53,148
- What?
- Michael J. Fox is clearly a murderer.
162
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,151
Hand me the phone.
I have to call the Hollywood police.
163
00:07:55,152 --> 00:07:57,820
I can't! I'm on hold with
the Cheap Wing cheapos.
164
00:07:57,821 --> 00:07:59,955
Besides, dreams aren't literal.
165
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,390
Like I don't actually have
lobster claws for hands
166
00:08:02,392 --> 00:08:04,326
and live in a pumpkin
with Tony the Tiger.
167
00:08:04,328 --> 00:08:07,629
- Geez, are you okay?
- My point is, they're symbolic,
168
00:08:07,631 --> 00:08:08,898
and I can get
to the bottom of this
169
00:08:08,899 --> 00:08:10,799
as long as I stay
hyper-focused on your...
170
00:08:10,801 --> 00:08:12,802
- Hello?
- I'm here, I'm here!
171
00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:16,738
You backstabbing pack of thieves.
Do you have children?
172
00:08:16,739 --> 00:08:18,907
I bet you they're ashamed
to be related to you.
173
00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:22,712
"My mommy is Chief
BS Officer at the Fraud Factory!"
174
00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:25,147
- I don't know what kind
of two-bit... - Brent!
175
00:08:25,148 --> 00:08:26,249
Have you seen your parents?
176
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:27,884
- Who did?
- Your parents!
177
00:08:27,885 --> 00:08:30,153
You have to talk to them.
They're threatening to sue me.
178
00:08:30,154 --> 00:08:33,422
- Sure, sure, help yourself.
- Are you okay?
179
00:08:33,423 --> 00:08:35,390
Did you even hear what I just said?
180
00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:37,860
Huh?
Oh, hey, yeah, Lacey.
181
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:39,794
Hey, how do you think I'd look
in a onesie?
182
00:08:39,796 --> 00:08:42,764
I'll take care of this myself.
183
00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:45,367
Just say, good or bad.
I can take it.
184
00:08:46,336 --> 00:08:47,837
That was embarrassing.
185
00:08:47,838 --> 00:08:50,438
We can't let Hank get
the better of us again.
186
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,875
I'm not going through
that whole first aid manual.
187
00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:54,609
It's as thick as a phone book.
188
00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:57,746
Like a big city phone book,
not Dog River's.
189
00:08:58,447 --> 00:09:00,515
I don't care.
I want to be prepared
190
00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:03,218
for Hank's next thing,
so let's bone up.
191
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,188
- We can start with "bones."
- Or...
192
00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:07,823
We could stake out Hank,
see what he's planning,
193
00:09:07,824 --> 00:09:10,759
and just study up
on whatever he's faking.
194
00:09:10,761 --> 00:09:14,396
Then we don't have to learn
how to save people's lives!
195
00:09:14,398 --> 00:09:16,965
- That is genius!
- Ha ha!
196
00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:18,800
Ow! That hurt my thumb.
197
00:09:18,802 --> 00:09:21,336
Let's see what the book
says about thumbs.
198
00:09:21,538 --> 00:09:24,707
I've thought things over,
and you shouldn't sue Lacey.
199
00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:26,675
We don't have to sue her
for everything.
200
00:09:26,677 --> 00:09:28,510
We just sue her for a bit of fun.
201
00:09:28,512 --> 00:09:31,047
Maybe get a new boat.
Huh?
202
00:09:31,914 --> 00:09:33,815
Pretty nice boat, eh, Emma?
203
00:09:33,817 --> 00:09:37,319
Nicer than that dinky
aluminum job we had before.
204
00:09:37,321 --> 00:09:41,489
You're right, Oscar.
Then again, you always are.
205
00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:43,592
Another boat would be nice...
206
00:09:44,695 --> 00:09:47,329
Where the hell are you going?
You can't leave me here.
207
00:09:47,331 --> 00:09:50,433
Bon voyage, Oscar.
See you on the island.
208
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:53,536
- What island?
- Did I forget to say? Whoopsie!
209
00:09:53,537 --> 00:09:56,375
Full throttle, Carl.
210
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,377
- Pretty appealing notion, isn't it?
- Very appealing.
211
00:10:01,378 --> 00:10:03,579
But no!
We can't sue Lacey.
212
00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:05,248
That would be wrong.
213
00:10:05,249 --> 00:10:08,316
Very boat. I mean, wrong.
Wouldn't it?
214
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:11,621
- Yes, I'm still here!
- I know, you're sitting right in front of me.
215
00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:14,522
I'm not hanging up
until I get some answers.
216
00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:16,025
I've got the coupon in my hand,
217
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:18,560
and the promo code is
right here in big font.
218
00:10:18,562 --> 00:10:21,296
- Do you think I can't read?
- So, in my dreams,
219
00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:22,732
he's had two weapons
that I can remember,
220
00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:24,833
snippers and a Tommy gun.
221
00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:26,235
Wait, didn't we go to high school
222
00:10:26,236 --> 00:10:27,369
with someone named Tommy?
223
00:10:27,370 --> 00:10:30,939
Yeah, he was a real pinball wizard.
Yes, you have my attention!
224
00:10:30,941 --> 00:10:33,508
Pinball?
Oh, hang on, I remember him.
225
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:35,610
He had such a supple wrist.
226
00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:38,948
Dreams are usually highly symbolic.
What does a gun mean to you?
227
00:10:38,949 --> 00:10:41,016
What?
I-I wasn't threatening you.
228
00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:42,718
I was talking to a different idiot.
229
00:10:42,719 --> 00:10:44,854
What's a gun mean?
It means danger.
230
00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:47,657
Reminds me of a bad dream
I had about Michael J. Fox.
231
00:10:47,658 --> 00:10:50,392
- Did I ever tell you about that?
- Please hold.
232
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,783
- Ew, like, what is that?
- Blood.
233
00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,918
I'm faking a broken nose
to test Karen and Davis,
234
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:04,122
and I need this to be realistic.
What do you think?
235
00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:07,492
- What's it made of?
- Maple syrup and cranberry juice.
236
00:11:08,461 --> 00:11:10,663
But mostly pig's blood.
237
00:11:10,664 --> 00:11:12,364
I said it had to be realistic.
238
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,901
There's an emergency
at the Foo Mart!
239
00:11:20,873 --> 00:11:24,276
Looks like a broken nose.
Gauze...
240
00:11:25,178 --> 00:11:26,445
Peas.
241
00:11:26,446 --> 00:11:28,664
Sticker.
242
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,252
- Yeah...
- That's it.
243
00:11:32,253 --> 00:11:34,083
- All right.
- Nice.
244
00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:38,490
- My goodness, that was impressive.
- Yeah, too impressive.
245
00:11:38,492 --> 00:11:41,392
Davis and Karen have never
shown up that fast to anything.
246
00:11:41,393 --> 00:11:44,229
I think those cheaters
were following me.
247
00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:46,699
Hmm... tangy.
248
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,967
Well, maybe not to the pig farm.
249
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,102
Ah, that's a relief.
250
00:11:51,104 --> 00:11:54,272
Josh, you can get off the pillow
and bring out the knives!
251
00:11:54,274 --> 00:11:57,408
I'm the proud new owner
of an insurance policy.
252
00:11:57,410 --> 00:12:01,312
- Oh, good, now we can sue you.
- What?
253
00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:04,109
This calls for a free pudding!
254
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:10,969
- Have your dreams ever been lucid?
- I don't know.
255
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,939
Maybe a couple times
when I was a teenager.
256
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,941
Nah, that's something else.
Also... yuck.
257
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,375
When you're lucid dreaming,
258
00:12:17,376 --> 00:12:19,523
you're fully in control of your dream.
259
00:12:19,558 --> 00:12:22,414
Well, if I was in control, Michael
J. Fox wouldn't be murdering me.
260
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:25,751
We'd be doing our own cooler,
funkier take on the Blues Brothers.
261
00:12:25,753 --> 00:12:27,853
What if I tried to put
you in a lucid state?
262
00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:30,957
- I could help guide you with narration.
- Fine, let's give it a go.
263
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,325
Close your eyes,
264
00:12:33,327 --> 00:12:35,761
take a big, deep breath,
265
00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:38,330
and repeat after me.
266
00:12:38,332 --> 00:12:41,567
"I will know I'm dreaming,
and take control."
267
00:12:41,569 --> 00:12:44,703
Wanda will know she's dreaming,
and take control.
268
00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:48,440
"I" is you.
Now focus, and...
269
00:12:49,577 --> 00:12:51,543
...and we're off to dreamland.
270
00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:57,383
Why am I in a hot rod?
271
00:12:57,385 --> 00:13:00,695
I don't know, your screwed-up
subconscious got us here.
272
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:03,489
Relax, I'll take the wheel,
Jesus style.
273
00:13:04,525 --> 00:13:07,459
Oh.
Hey there, stranger.
274
00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:11,497
- Hey, gorgeous, wanna make out?
- I consent to this.
275
00:13:14,234 --> 00:13:17,236
- Ow! Hey!
- Eyes forward, fatty-o.
276
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,607
Ow.
Aah!
277
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:26,496
Aw, great, nice driving.
I almost had him to second base.
278
00:13:26,497 --> 00:13:28,565
You were the one who was
supposed to be guiding the dream.
279
00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:31,233
I was, and I almost had him
to second base.
280
00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:34,554
Well, did you gain any insights
from your filthy trip
281
00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:37,139
into my subconscious?
Wanda?
282
00:13:37,140 --> 00:13:39,608
Listen to me you soul-sucking,
amoral, greasy cog.
283
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,611
I'm not getting off the phone
until I speak to a manager,
284
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,913
and don't just put me on hold
285
00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,548
and come back on
with a different voice.
286
00:13:45,549 --> 00:13:49,574
I'll know, you low-life,
two-faced, neck bearded...
287
00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:51,988
- Dammit!
- You're quite the poet.
288
00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:52,956
How do you know
someone on the phone
289
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,491
- has a neck beard?
- I can hear it rustling.
290
00:13:59,429 --> 00:14:01,930
- You can't sue me.
- Why the hell not?
291
00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:04,166
We'd just be taking
the insurance company's money.
292
00:14:04,308 --> 00:14:06,575
Don't you want to
help out your friends?
293
00:14:06,577 --> 00:14:09,345
In theory, but I wasn't
covered when Oscar hurt himself,
294
00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:11,346
so that money'll be
comin' out of my pocket.
295
00:14:11,348 --> 00:14:13,915
What if we redo the injury now,
296
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,650
so that it's covered
by your insurance?
297
00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:17,820
- Win-win.
- That's not win-win.
298
00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:21,224
- That's fraud-fraud.
- Frog? I don't see any frog.
299
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:23,692
I didn't say "frog,"
I said "fraud."
300
00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:26,495
- You mean like Kermit the Frog?
- Seriously?
301
00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:28,330
You're just going to pretend
you can't hear the word "fraud"?
302
00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:32,734
- Is he still dating that karate pig?
- She's a handful.
303
00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:43,578
Oh boy, give us a hard one.
304
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:46,082
Hatchet wound?
Textbook.
305
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:50,819
Wait just a minute.
Whiskey and a kite...
306
00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:53,588
Hmm, mysterious.
307
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:57,993
Oh, I have a theory.
The hatchet is just a red herring.
308
00:14:57,995 --> 00:15:00,295
Lin's going to get drunk,
try to fly the kite,
309
00:15:00,297 --> 00:15:02,430
and that crazy
prairie wind kicks up,
310
00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:04,800
drags her off her feet,
breaks her neck.
311
00:15:04,802 --> 00:15:07,135
Hmm, I don't know.
312
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:10,005
This feels like
a Chekov's hatchet situation.
313
00:15:10,007 --> 00:15:12,974
It's too flashy not to use.
314
00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:15,912
DRPD.
315
00:15:15,913 --> 00:15:17,913
Get down
the post office, and quick!
316
00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:21,283
- This one's a doozy!
- Showtime.
317
00:15:23,035 --> 00:15:25,705
I got the gauze ready.
Where's the hatchet wound?
318
00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:29,141
- Keep your neck still.
- Why? Will that help my...
319
00:15:29,142 --> 00:15:32,610
gigantic venomous snake bite?
320
00:15:32,612 --> 00:15:34,646
- Are you kidding?
- Aw, man!
321
00:15:34,647 --> 00:15:36,548
Who gets bitten by a snake
at the post office?
322
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:40,239
This guy. It was mailed to
me by international assassins.
323
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,520
You don't need the whole backstory.
Snake bite.
324
00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:43,923
I know how to handle this one.
325
00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:45,957
You... just have to go
suck the venom out.
326
00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:48,560
If you know how to do it,
you go suck the venom out.
327
00:15:48,562 --> 00:15:52,131
Dying. Dying!
Very nearly dead,
328
00:15:52,132 --> 00:15:55,334
all because you two didn't know
enough to administer anti-venom,
329
00:15:55,335 --> 00:16:00,538
and now my international enemies
are celebrating my death.
330
00:16:04,111 --> 00:16:06,011
That foam actually looks real.
331
00:16:06,013 --> 00:16:07,879
Thanks.
I gargled with dish soap.
332
00:16:08,982 --> 00:16:12,617
If Hank's onto us, we're going
to have to actually study.
333
00:16:12,619 --> 00:16:15,920
Not necessarily.
He might choke on the dish soap.
334
00:16:15,922 --> 00:16:18,824
Let's see how this plays out.
335
00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:23,728
Put me on hold...
I'll put your heart on hold.
336
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:27,432
Oh, that sounded romantic,
but I mean it violently.
337
00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:29,368
Hello?
What about my problem?
338
00:16:29,369 --> 00:16:31,636
Your stupid dreams
are all over the map.
339
00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:33,873
You fix a fight,
you're on a high wire,
340
00:16:33,874 --> 00:16:35,007
you're driving a coupe...
341
00:16:35,008 --> 00:16:37,677
Nobody could ever make any
sense of that brain porridge.
342
00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:40,346
Fix...
Wire...
343
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,314
Coop?
That's it!
344
00:16:42,315 --> 00:16:46,885
I was supposed to fix the wire on
Helen's chicken coop, but I forgot!
345
00:16:46,886 --> 00:16:48,587
...and then
a fox got in and killed them.
346
00:16:48,589 --> 00:16:51,756
So, Michael J. Fox
is haunting my subconscious
347
00:16:51,758 --> 00:16:53,825
as a manifestation of my guilt.
348
00:16:53,827 --> 00:16:56,428
Just like I said.
You're welcome.
349
00:16:56,429 --> 00:16:58,598
Now you know what you have
to do to make this right.
350
00:16:58,599 --> 00:17:03,869
I do, but I don't want to
preemptively kill Michael J. Fox.
351
00:17:03,871 --> 00:17:06,772
No, you promised you'd help
someone, and then flaked.
352
00:17:06,773 --> 00:17:08,473
So just go help someone else,
353
00:17:08,475 --> 00:17:10,542
- and you'll be cured.
- Oh.
354
00:17:10,544 --> 00:17:14,317
And then it's goodbye, Murder J. Fox,
Hello, Vegas.
355
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:16,081
Hello!
You're the manager?
356
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,583
Well, maybe now we can
actually get somewhere,
357
00:17:18,585 --> 00:17:20,186
and have a reasonable...
358
00:17:20,187 --> 00:17:22,988
I'm holding the coupon
in my hands,
359
00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:27,026
you filthy, lying dumpsack!
Yeah, I'll hold.
360
00:17:29,363 --> 00:17:31,830
Now, just walk up
and stub your toe,
361
00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:34,866
and if you happen to fall
and crash into the glass door,
362
00:17:34,868 --> 00:17:39,037
- great.
- Uh... Ow.
363
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,474
Um...
364
00:17:41,475 --> 00:17:44,376
Ow! Ow! That hurts.
365
00:17:44,378 --> 00:17:47,445
That was fake
as this marriage is long.
366
00:17:47,447 --> 00:17:49,147
Try again.
367
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:55,620
I can't do it. I keep tensing
up when I know it's coming.
368
00:17:55,622 --> 00:17:57,189
We need to take this seriously.
369
00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:59,858
How do you treat a victim
of electric shock?
370
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,361
- Uh... Band-aid?
- What about a bee sting?
371
00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:04,397
- Band-aid?
- What about a sunburn?
372
00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:07,499
- Cold Band-aid?
- And you are 0 for 3.
373
00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:09,901
Are you sure?
The Band-aid is the duct tape
374
00:18:09,902 --> 00:18:10,835
of the medical profession.
375
00:18:10,837 --> 00:18:13,673
I have no idea how we're
going to learn this stuff.
376
00:18:13,674 --> 00:18:16,901
This book is 400 pages long!
377
00:18:17,344 --> 00:18:20,263
Main Street. SOS. Now.
378
00:18:26,752 --> 00:18:29,722
- And... action!
- They're everywhere!
379
00:18:29,723 --> 00:18:31,123
They're everywhere!
380
00:18:31,124 --> 00:18:34,292
- Every man for himself!
- Looting!
381
00:18:36,963 --> 00:18:41,566
- What the hell is this?
- I don't feel so good.
382
00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:43,401
Wha... what the...
383
00:18:48,574 --> 00:18:50,743
- Really?
- I'm pretty sure "alien invasion"
384
00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:52,111
isn't in the first aid manual.
385
00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:56,348
I know how to fix this.
Two cc's of coffee, stat.
386
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,316
Let's roll.
387
00:18:58,318 --> 00:19:03,855
Wait. You have to be prepared
for anything! Anything!
388
00:19:04,117 --> 00:19:08,152
- Maybe you could use a push?
- All right, that's enough.
389
00:19:08,154 --> 00:19:10,555
Stop this before you
actually hurt yourself.
390
00:19:10,557 --> 00:19:13,958
Relax, it's all part of the plan.
Or have you forgotten?
391
00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:16,327
I actually have forgotten.
Maybe you can remind me.
392
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,463
We're recreating
the earlier accident
393
00:19:18,465 --> 00:19:21,032
to cash in on your new insurance policy,
394
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,668
because that's what friends do.
395
00:19:22,669 --> 00:19:25,637
They wait for their friends
to renew their insurance
396
00:19:25,639 --> 00:19:29,174
- before they recreate earlier accidents.
- Got it!
397
00:19:29,175 --> 00:19:32,043
Friends also sometimes record
other friends on their phones
398
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,145
- admitting to fraud!
- You did what?
399
00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:36,015
Give me that!
400
00:19:36,016 --> 00:19:39,117
Aah! My ankle!
My ankle's broken.
401
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,186
- Oh, here we go.
- The jig's up, Oscar.
402
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:45,503
- We know you're all faking.
- Ow!
403
00:19:45,991 --> 00:19:49,486
Say hi to E.T. for us.
404
00:19:53,498 --> 00:19:54,968
So, when are you leaving for Vegas?
405
00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:57,836
- I've changed my mind.
- After all that?
406
00:19:57,838 --> 00:19:59,905
You're not gonna let
those crooks at Cheap Wing
407
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,140
get away with that
phony promo code, are you?
408
00:20:02,142 --> 00:20:03,842
I am.
Because, uh,
409
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:06,089
it was not a coupon
for Cheap Wing Airlines.
410
00:20:06,102 --> 00:20:08,637
It was a coupon for
cheap wings from Poo-Mart.
411
00:20:08,681 --> 00:20:12,284
- Like... chicken wings?
- No, bat wings. Anyhoo,
412
00:20:12,318 --> 00:20:14,319
have you, uh, decided
who you're going to help
413
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:15,989
to relieve your chicken coop guilt?
414
00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:18,223
Because four out of five
psychologists agree,
415
00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:21,828
buying an employee a flight to
Vegas cures a lot of problems.
416
00:20:25,199 --> 00:20:27,734
Nope. You'd better go
strap on those bat wings,
417
00:20:27,735 --> 00:20:29,668
because I know exactly
who I'm helping.
418
00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:32,538
I'm gonna sue you!
The cops!
419
00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:34,874
- These steps!
- Oscar, that's enough.
420
00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:37,676
Lacey, Karen, Davis,
they're our friends.
421
00:20:37,678 --> 00:20:39,444
Nobody is suing anybody.
422
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:42,447
Thanks, Emma.
I'm glad we're friends.
423
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,850
Plus, I have you on tape.
424
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,785
Mom, Dad, if you sue Lacey,
425
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,088
I'll never talk to either
one of you ever again.
426
00:20:49,089 --> 00:20:52,324
- We're not suing Lacey.
- Huh.
427
00:20:52,325 --> 00:20:55,460
Well, when I put my mind to it,
I'm a hell of a problem-solver.
428
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:57,429
Screw you, Michael J. Fox.
429
00:20:57,431 --> 00:20:59,532
Oh, by the way, Brent,
I have a loose board on the stairs.
430
00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:00,700
Could you fix it for me?
431
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,602
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure,
I'll get right on it.
432
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,824
♪ I don't know ♪
433
00:21:10,825 --> 00:21:13,826
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
434
00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:18,809
♪ I don't know ♪
435
00:21:18,865 --> 00:21:22,234
♪ I just... don't know ♪
436
00:21:24,304 --> 00:21:28,241
- ♪ Ooh
- It's a great big place ♪
437
00:21:28,242 --> 00:21:31,678
- ♪ Ooh
- Full of nothin' but space ♪
438
00:21:31,679 --> 00:21:35,614
- ♪ Ooh
- And it's my happy place ♪
439
00:21:35,616 --> 00:21:38,150
♪ I don't know ♪
440
00:21:38,352 --> 00:21:41,706
sync & correction by f1nc0
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