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1
00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:20,673
WOMAN OVER RADIO:
We're talking today
about new beginnings.
2
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:24,070
Moments in your life
where you feel like it's time
for a change.
3
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:27,970
So, uh, I'm on with a caller.
Hi. What was your
second chapter?
4
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,570
MAN ON RADIO:
So I used to work
in the City...
5
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,830
You're going to have to let
her go.
6
00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:32,697
But there's nothing
wrong with her.
7
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,203
All you've got to do is
replace the windscreen,
she's good as new.
8
00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,333
Mate, this car's
deader than disco.
9
00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:39,467
I can't in any good conscience
let you drive her out of here.
10
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,900
I get it. You found Jamiroquai
in the tape deck?
11
00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,633
Look, I can explain.
I was feeling nostalgic!
12
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:47,427
It's not Jamiroquai.
Problem is, you'd be
safer driving a shark tank.
13
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:50,597
Your gear box is shot,
your engine
bearings are worn to shit
14
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,673
and your steering column's
rustier than an old anchor.
15
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,270
It'd actually be more
expensive to fix it than
buy a new car.
16
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,400
But I've had that
car since uni!
17
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,573
We've been through
everything together.
18
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,100
The break-ups and
the hangovers and...
19
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,773
I had my only threesome
in that back seat.
20
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,130
Yeah? What was it,
girl-girl-boy or
boy-boy-girl?
21
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,227
A threesome's a threesome!
Point is, I'm not
going to abandon her.
22
00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:12,567
Look, how old are you, mate?
What, 40, 41?
23
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,130
-I'm 32.
-Really?
24
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:16,067
Look, don't you think you
should start driving something
25
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,300
a little bit more mature?
26
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,433
Face it, pal,
you're not at uni any more.
27
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,500
Two, three...
28
00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:29,903
-Roly?
-It's not my OCD.
29
00:01:29,933 --> 00:01:31,333
-What?
-Nothing. Um, is Mum here?
30
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:33,827
Not yet. Do you have a minute
for a chat in the living room?
31
00:01:33,867 --> 00:01:36,527
While I have a pulse,
every room's a living room.
32
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,230
Hey, Roly.
33
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,373
Oh, is this about me
reorganising the shoe rack?
34
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,230
I'm sorry I put yours
on the bottom, Veronica.
35
00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:47,967
It's just, heels look
better on floor level.
36
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,327
No, it's fine.
37
00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:51,927
And thank you for colour
coordinating everything,
38
00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:54,497
it looks much neater.
39
00:01:54,533 --> 00:01:57,073
Veronica and I just want
you to know we're so proud
40
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,697
of how you've handled
this last year.
41
00:01:58,733 --> 00:02:01,673
There's been a lot of change.
I know I'm a big part of that.
42
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:04,800
And sorry I added those
series links without
your permission.
43
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:08,933
You've dealt with it all so
admirably and shown
real maturity.
44
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:11,697
I can't believe you're
turning 14 in two weeks!
45
00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:14,303
You're becoming a man
in front of our eyes.
46
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,473
It's like you could
cope with anything.
47
00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:21,833
Look, Roly,
the thing is, um...
48
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:24,527
-Veronica and I are...
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
49
00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:27,067
Oh! That'll be Mum.
Uh, TBC, guys.
50
00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:33,403
They made me kill my car.
51
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:35,733
I feel like Lassie's
just been shot.
52
00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:37,427
-Can I come in?
-I don't hear from
you for months
53
00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:39,327
-and now you want to come in?
-Can't we just go back
54
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,797
to the way things
were before the...
55
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,433
-K-I-S-S?
-It happened, Andy.
56
00:02:44,467 --> 00:02:46,667
G-R-O-W U-P.
57
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,430
-Grow up!
-You should have said
there was a space in it.
58
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:52,427
This was a mistake,
I'm sorry, I'll go.
59
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,100
Ryan and I broke up.
60
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,173
Do you want me
to have a word with him?
61
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,570
I mean, I can tell him
it was all my fault.
62
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,470
No, I... I broke it off.
63
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,070
He'll make
an amazing husband
to somebody.
64
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:08,127
I'm just... I'm not ready.
65
00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:10,597
-You having a spring clean?
-Yeah, uh...
66
00:03:10,633 --> 00:03:13,103
-I'm moving.
-I heard that the rent
round here is crazy town.
67
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,473
-To America.
-Well, you can
start with South Croydon.
68
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,870
-It'd make the commute easier.
-Actually, I...
69
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,470
I saw a listing
for a publishing house
in New York.
70
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,627
Editor's assistant.
71
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,767
Shit pay, but, um, it's always
been my dream to
work in publishing.
72
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,100
I didn't know
you liked books.
73
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,167
I'm an English teacher.
74
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,870
So, when are you leaving?
75
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,930
Tonight.
76
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:38,567
You know, you inspired me
to make this change, Andy.
77
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,830
You live on the edge
of disaster and I could
do with a bit of that.
78
00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:43,667
Spent my life trying
to be a grown-up and...
79
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,330
It's time to be selfish
for a change.
80
00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:48,767
-Yeah. Doesn't this seem
a bit rash, though?
-You tell me, Andy.
81
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,270
Is there any reason I should
give it a second thought?
82
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,297
I leave for Heathrow at 5:00.
83
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:01,767
RADIO DJ: And that was
a classic track from
White Town.
84
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,630
We're still talking about
taking a plunge and
changing your life.
85
00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:06,897
Hi, caller, what's your name?
86
00:04:06,933 --> 00:04:09,833
Hi, it's, um... Zach.
87
00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:11,767
Hi, Zach, what can
we do for you?
88
00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:13,903
Well...
89
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:15,303
I never thought it would
happen to me
90
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:19,073
and then one day I found
myself falling madly into
91
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:22,327
a massive case of...
92
00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:24,527
The bed bugs.
93
00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,727
All of a sudden, I find out
that the bed bugs are planning
94
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,597
on moving to America and
I'm not sure I want
to get rid of them.
95
00:04:30,633 --> 00:04:32,733
No, you always want
to get rid of bed bugs.
96
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:34,197
Bed bugs are bad.
97
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,103
-Hello?
-Holy shit!
98
00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:39,503
GEORGE: Great space and
wonderful views.
99
00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:40,933
George, what's going on?
100
00:04:40,967 --> 00:04:42,667
The bedroom has
terrific light.
101
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,730
And we'll deal
with the smell.
102
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:47,327
Time's up, Andy.
I'm evicting you
103
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:48,667
and suing you
for three grand in back rent.
104
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:51,270
Oh, no, you're not,
'cause check this out.
105
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:52,700
Boom! I've just won
106
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:55,473
three and a half grand
for coming third
in a song contest.
107
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,270
Ooh, it's a piece of paper
with your name on it.
108
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,900
What good's that to me?
I'm done with the
delay tactics, Andy.
109
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,303
-Game over.
-Wait!
110
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,733
What if I can get you
the money by the
end of the day?
111
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:06,067
I'm leaving for Pilates
at 5:00, that gives
you three hours.
112
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,627
After that,
I'm changing the locks.
113
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:10,467
Don't worry about the carpets,
we'll get them industrially
cleaned.
114
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,800
No more mystery stains.
115
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,533
They're not mystery stains.
116
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:15,067
-They're semen.
-Ugh...
117
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:19,473
-What's that about?
-Oh, my landlord's
118
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,830
kicking me out
'cause I haven't paid
him his back rent.
119
00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:23,427
-You haven't got
three grand, have you?
-Fuck off.
120
00:05:23,467 --> 00:05:25,127
I'm still struggling to pay
the 20 grand mortgage
121
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,367
I took out
for my coke habit.
122
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,070
-Listen, Roly's in a bit
of a mood.
-(DOOR SLAMS)
123
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,927
Hey! Here's my sunshine!
124
00:05:30,967 --> 00:05:32,827
The pollen's making
my sinusitis play up.
125
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:35,397
Great. Well, I need you both
at the flat for 5:00
on the dot.
126
00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:38,503
-Why me?
-I'm making dinner,
remember. Don't be late.
127
00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:40,203
Bye, sweetheart.
128
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,600
Did you know that Melodie's
moving to America?
129
00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:45,873
Yes, the school had
a big going-away party.
130
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:48,100
Why do you care anyway?
I thought you
weren't speaking?
131
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:50,303
I don't care. Whatever.
132
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,273
I think Dad's going
to marry Veronica.
133
00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:54,430
What's the point? I'm already
letting her live with us.
134
00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:56,567
-Surely that's enough.
-That must suck for you.
135
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,530
Anyway, why are we
eating at 5:00?
136
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,467
Is your mum on one of
her weird diets again?
137
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,100
She's planning my surprise
birthday party.
138
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,403
She thinks she's being clever
by doing it two weeks
in advance,
139
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:07,333
but really it's just like
watching a dog try to
solve a Rubik's Cube.
140
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,597
I mean, what's so fun about
being in a room full of people
141
00:06:09,633 --> 00:06:11,203
trying to give me a coronary?
142
00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,897
I hope I die.
That'll teach them.
143
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,203
She's just trying to
do something
nice for you. Grow up.
144
00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:17,333
-You grow up!
-No, you grow up!
145
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:18,667
-No, you grow up!
-I will!
146
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:19,970
By cashing this cheque.
147
00:06:20,067 --> 00:06:21,927
I've already lost the
car today, I'm not going
to lose the flat.
148
00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:23,927
Welcome to Cash Pig.
149
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,297
Our deals are a squeal.
150
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:29,103
I would like to cash
this cheque,
s'il vous plait.
151
00:06:29,133 --> 00:06:32,373
Sorry. We are out of cash.
152
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,070
Joking! That'd be like
a whorehouse
without any whores.
153
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,567
Little man knows
what I'm saying.
154
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,600
-Just so you know,
we take a 10% commission.
-10%?
155
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,703
If you've got a problem
with that, you can
always go to your bank.
156
00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:46,133
I'm sure they can cash this
in, oh, two to three days.
157
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,227
-10% is fine, that's fine.
-ID, please.
158
00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:54,303
Okay, that's 3,150
159
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:57,833
paid by Songtest Inc.
to Andy King.
160
00:06:57,867 --> 00:06:58,927
Songtest?
161
00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:00,327
Can I see that cheque?
162
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:02,067
No! Don't show him!
163
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,570
That's not your money!
164
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,830
(LAUGHS) He's joking!
One minute, please.
165
00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:10,627
I can't believe you didn't
tell me our song won!
166
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,667
-It didn't win. It came third.
-That was a collaboration.
167
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:16,800
We need to split it between
Val, Gwen, Casper, Hugo, me...
168
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:19,073
They'll get their split
after I'm back on my feet.
169
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,870
-Until then, nobody
has to know.
-But I know!
170
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,070
It's like the first time you
find out how sausage is made.
171
00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,567
You can never forget.
172
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,470
If I lose my flat, then
I'm going to be sleeping
on your mum's sofa,
173
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,630
touching all your things
when you're at school.
174
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:34,227
Your towels, your toothbrush,
your embosser...
175
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:36,073
You wouldn't.
176
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:38,130
-Wouldn't I?
-Uh-oh.
177
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:41,197
This cheque is made out
to Andy King.
178
00:07:41,233 --> 00:07:45,073
The name
on this ID is Andrew.
I can't cash this.
179
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,127
You're going to have
to get them
to write you another cheque.
180
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,597
-No, no, no.
I need that cash today.
-Sorry.
181
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:51,073
My manager
won't let me.
182
00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:54,173
But I know a guy...
183
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,530
Hi.
184
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:07,567
Uh, we're here for
the "Exterminator".
185
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,570
Hi, uh, Mr...
186
00:08:22,633 --> 00:08:23,973
The Exterminator.
187
00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:28,397
We would like
the "Total Kill Package,"
please.
188
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:30,867
How much?
189
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,370
Three grand.
190
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,400
And I can
pay you just as soon
as I cash this cheque.
191
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,073
What the fuck are you doing?
192
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:50,527
-Give me the slip!
-Sure. Sorry. Yes, yes, sir.
193
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,070
You wearing a wire?
194
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,427
(SCOFFS)
195
00:08:57,233 --> 00:08:59,873
(CHUCKLES) No, no, no.
196
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,830
No, I've seen Donnie Brasco.
197
00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:02,967
Why is he so quiet?
198
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,567
Because he is a dullard.
199
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,330
-What's your name?
-It's, uh...
200
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,330
(STUTTERS) Joey.
201
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:11,267
(IN UNCONVINCING NEW
JERSEY ACCENT)
Uh, Joey Falcone.
202
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:14,597
Sounds like you've got
a bit of an accent there.
203
00:09:14,633 --> 00:09:16,633
Sounds like you've got
a bit of an accent there.
204
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:18,667
What's an American boy
doing knocking about
205
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:21,870
with a middle-aged
English weirdo?
206
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:25,370
I'm 32! And he's on
an exchange programme.
207
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:37,267
-The interest rate's 20%.
-(NORMAL ACCENT)
20%! That's highway robbery!
208
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,270
The cheque cashiers
only took 10%!
209
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,130
What a shit accent!
210
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,127
Don't give up your day job,
Dick Van Dyke.
211
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,527
20% will be fine. Kids, eh?
212
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:47,797
That's a nice painting.
Your kids do it?
213
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:49,697
No.
214
00:09:50,533 --> 00:09:51,903
My wife did.
215
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:53,503
It's... It's nice.
216
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:55,373
Don't lie.
It's bloody horrible.
217
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,570
I only put it up
'cause she nagged me.
218
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,500
She's got you
well by the nuts.
219
00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:00,503
That's because she
is unbelievable in bed,
220
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,703
otherwise I'd have got rid
of her a very long time ago.
221
00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:05,473
She got a face that could
blast the paint off
a barn door.
222
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:09,000
'Ere, my wife is so ugly,
she could make an onion cry.
223
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:10,533
(LAUGHS)
224
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:13,467
Your wife's so ugly,
she don't need no
Halloween costume.
225
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,930
(LAUGHING)
226
00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:18,627
My wife is so ugly,
our wedding video's
in the horror section!
227
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:21,927
Your wife's so ugly
that the Elephant Man's like,
228
00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:23,997
"Ew, no thanks!"
229
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:32,800
What did you say?
230
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,500
-Elephant Man.
-(SLAMS DRAWER)
231
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,800
Wait there.
232
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,630
(SOFTLY) Joey Falcone?
233
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:48,427
I was masking my identity,
I panicked.
234
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:50,227
You're one to talk,
you insulted his wife!
235
00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:51,467
I thought we were bantering!
236
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:52,730
ERROL: Well, he's going
to kill us now.
237
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,197
He's definitely going
to kill you.
238
00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:56,333
-Relax, I've got a plan.
-What is it?
239
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,270
Run!
240
00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,367
Faster!
241
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,300
(ANDY PANTING)
242
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:12,633
Oh...
243
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,800
Oh!
244
00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:18,933
Oh, great. I lose my flat
in an hour and a half.
245
00:11:18,967 --> 00:11:21,167
How about one of those
payday loans?
They give those to anyone.
246
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,470
Not if you've got
a worse credit
rating than a Greek bank.
247
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,070
-Excuse me!
-Sorry, we don't have
any change.
248
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,900
I don't want change.
I want sleep.
249
00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:30,573
-Now move along,
we're full up here.
-Hang on.
250
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:34,070
-I'm not homeless.
-You sure?
That jacket screams homeless.
251
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,697
It's vintage!
252
00:11:35,733 --> 00:11:38,433
He's going for that,
um, hobo chic look.
253
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:41,127
I sat outside a Greggs
yesterday for eight hours.
254
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,797
Does that sound chic to you?
255
00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,333
No.
256
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:47,967
My life is not some
trendy fashion statement
for you to appropriate.
257
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:50,527
Now, shove off before
I get my mates involved.
258
00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:53,267
Steve over there did
three tours of Afghanistan.
259
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:55,130
He's a walking Jacob's Ladder.
260
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:58,297
Well, go on, then!
I'm not going to roll out
the red carpet for you.
261
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:01,403
Carpet.
262
00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,433
-Carpet. Thank you! Thank you!
-(SQUEAKING)
263
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:06,167
Bonny?
264
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,897
-Bonny!
-Ugh. A rat.
265
00:12:09,933 --> 00:12:11,773
(WHIMPERING) She wasn't a rat!
266
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,700
She was my friend!
267
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,133
Hey, guys!
268
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:18,797
He killed Bonny!
269
00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:25,303
(HORN HONKS)
270
00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:28,533
-You guys need a lift?
-Shit, yes!
271
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,300
What was that all about?
272
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:36,603
We was just being chased by
a bunch of deranged tramps.
273
00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:38,433
That's wild.
So where to, lads?
274
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,767
Just down the road
to Carpet Brothers?
275
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,270
-Thanks for this.
-No probs.
276
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,330
It's all about people
helping people.
277
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:48,827
I'm Blake, this is Archie,
Winston, Raymond and Carter.
278
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,667
Welcome to our
humble tour van.
279
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,830
-Are you guys in a band?
-No, no.
280
00:12:52,867 --> 00:12:54,297
We're a collective.
281
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:58,503
Bands come with all this
baggage of hierarchy
and commercial gain.
282
00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:00,373
And we are just
in it for the music.
283
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,330
That's why we only use
equipment made pre-'79.
284
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,067
That's what I'm talking about!
You know?
285
00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:07,327
You can say what you like
about technological
advancement,
286
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:10,297
but for me, it really
doesn't get any better
than Phil Spector
287
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,633
-and his Wall of Sound.
-Didn't Phil Spector
kill someone?
288
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,067
Yeah, but I mean,
come on, Be My Baby?
289
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:18,367
-So, uh, you guys doing a lot
of touring at the moment?
-BLAKE: Yeah.
290
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,070
We've been on the road
for a year.
291
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,927
Live performance
is a dying art.
292
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,597
And it's getting to meet
old timers like you
293
00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:26,473
that makes it all worthwhile,
you know?
294
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:30,070
-What kind of music
do you play?
-Just music-music, I guess.
295
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,830
We don't really go in
for trends or genres.
296
00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:34,897
Yeah, but, um,
who are your influences?
297
00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:37,203
Again, we don't believe
in influences, really.
298
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,073
But, I mean, you look like
you've got some sort
of folky vibe going on?
299
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,467
-You must listen to Jim Croce?
-Who?
300
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,970
-Jim Croce, Operator,
Time in a Bottle?
-No.
301
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,827
-Have you heard of
James Taylor?
-James Taylor?
302
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:50,727
-Carole King? I mean, you're
fucking with me? Tapestry?
-No...
303
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:52,227
-Johnny Cash?
-Yes, yeah.
304
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:54,567
The guy from the
Joaquin Phoenix movie.
305
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,970
I like that one Adele song,
Make You Feel My Love?
306
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,667
-That's a Dylan cover!
-Why is all this so
important to you?
307
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:00,970
Because music is an evolution.
308
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,697
How can you move forward
if you don't know
where you've been?
309
00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:05,133
Forget it. I don't know why
I'm getting worked up
about it.
310
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,967
-It's not like you're signed
or anything.
-Oh, no, we're signed.
311
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:10,967
To Sony. We're supporting
Mumford & Sons on
their reunion tour.
312
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:14,127
-Oh, hipsters.
-Did you just call
us hipsters?
313
00:14:14,167 --> 00:14:15,697
I think he might have
said tipsters.
314
00:14:15,733 --> 00:14:17,973
"If you see something,
say something," right, guys?
315
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,497
-We're not hipsters.
-ANDY: Oh, yeah.
316
00:14:19,533 --> 00:14:20,973
You just happen to
all be dressed
317
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,127
like some sort of
apocalyptic gypsy gang
318
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,127
with facial hair
from the Crimean War.
319
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,827
It takes more than a ukulele
and a tweed jacket
320
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,097
-to be in a band...
-Collective.
321
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,903
I hate everything
you stand for,
322
00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:33,533
from your roly cigarettes
to your prescription-less
glasses
323
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:36,127
and your artisanal
cheese-making
and your male knitting.
324
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,597
You're living in some
sort of weird
fictional version of the past
325
00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:40,203
that never existed.
326
00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:42,503
But I've got news for you,
you're not beautiful
unique snowflakes.
327
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:45,933
You're nothing but
a bunch of fucking posers!
328
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:48,967
You couldn't keep your stupid
mouth shut for five minutes,
could you?
329
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:51,797
-They were pricks!
-Those pricks were
trying to help!
330
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,130
(HORN HONKS)
331
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,930
(ANDY PANTS)
332
00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:00,927
I let you down,
I let myself down,
333
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,697
but most importantly,
I let Carpet Brothers down.
334
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,073
I let the carpets down.
335
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:08,967
Since you fired me,
I've really been able
to work on myself.
336
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:11,267
He's friendlier,
more patient, giving.
337
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,270
He's even promised to get me
a microscope for my birthday.
338
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:17,070
Andy, I don't know how
to tell you this.
339
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,227
Of course
you can have your job back.
340
00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:20,697
It's not been
the same without you.
341
00:15:20,733 --> 00:15:23,673
I don't want my job back.
342
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,170
I just need to borrow
three grand off you.
343
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,300
Look, I can pay you back
in a couple of days,
344
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,103
as soon as I get this
cheque cashed.
345
00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:31,803
Please. For my embosser.
346
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,673
Okay, I'll lend you the money.
347
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,730
If you can sell them a carpet.
348
00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:41,597
Hi, there. Can I help you?
349
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:44,373
Uh, yeah, we're looking for
some carpeting for
his new bedroom.
350
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,070
-But we're on a budget.
-Well, we have the best
prices in town.
351
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:52,427
Really? This app says
Magic Carpet,
which is just 0.28 miles away,
352
00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:56,067
has a 20% sale
on all its stock.
353
00:15:56,100 --> 00:16:00,070
Well, who cares about
discounts? It's all about
quality and selection.
354
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,767
Carpet Brothers' carpets
are made from the
finest materials,
355
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,900
sourced from all over
the world, but exclusively
manufactured in the UK.
356
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,433
-Who are you?
-I'm his manager.
357
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,367
Aren't you a little young
to be a manager?
358
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,600
I'm 25.
I have a pituitary condition.
359
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:15,133
-Oh. Sorry.
-No worries.
It's a common mistake.
360
00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:19,367
Can I talk to you over there
for a second, Mr Manager?
361
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,400
What do you think
you're doing? You're screwing
this up for me.
362
00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:23,833
-Where did you get that shirt?
-Roopesh gave it to me.
363
00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:25,467
The man's a treasure.
364
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:28,800
Look, relax. I know retail.
I've read Mary Portas'
book twice.
365
00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:30,073
You've got to be firm,
but fair.
366
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,930
Sorry about that.
Did anything catch your eye?
367
00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,767
What do you think
of this carpet, Louie?
I think it's nice.
368
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,270
That one has the very latest
in stain-resistant
369
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,070
and hard-wearing fibres,
370
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:43,170
and we can offer a 20%
discount for today only.
371
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,670
-I hate it.
-Yeah, it's horrible.
372
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,970
No problem. I've got something
I think you'll love.
373
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:49,867
Take a look at this beauty.
I'm sure your dad
will approve.
374
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:51,830
He's not my dad.
He's my stepdad.
375
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:55,267
Carpet shopping is his idea
of "fun bonding" time.
376
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,770
I know exactly
what you mean.
377
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,800
My dad's girlfriend's
always trying to get me
to Madame Tussauds.
378
00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:00,573
I don't care about
the real life David Beckham,
379
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,900
let alone his stupid
wax double.
380
00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:05,703
Um, I mean,
I remember from when
I was your age.
381
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,903
Yeah...
And all he ever talks
about is work.
382
00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,873
I mean, who cares
about food science?
383
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,530
Food science can
be a lot of fun.
384
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,367
Do you know
how they measure calories?
By blowing food up.
385
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,630
-Really?
-Yeah. That's my third
career choice.
386
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:19,927
Uh, before I fell in love
with carpets, of course.
387
00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:22,597
Let's just say that
you're a solitary
grizzly bear.
388
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:24,803
You start having
feelings for a fox.
389
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:30,233
She's smart and cute,
with soft hair and quirky
sense of humour.
390
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:32,067
But she's still a fox.
391
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:35,127
And she might lift you up
with all of her
foxy qualities.
392
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,900
But you're just going to
drag her down
393
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:40,673
with all your bear shit,
you know?
394
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,370
I saw a pig doing
a goat on YouTube.
395
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,900
And he's always
buying me stuff
to make me like him.
396
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:49,073
Hmm, exploiting their
insecurities
for material gain.
397
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,727
I hadn't thought of that.
398
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,067
I mean, um, you remind me
a lot of myself when
I was your age.
399
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,300
-You're a weird guy.
-Thanks.
400
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:56,833
You know,
if you really want
to show him,
401
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,967
you should buy
the most expensive
carpet we've got.
402
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:02,067
We haven't sold
an inch of gold velour in,
like, four years.
403
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,700
-How do you do it?
-I guess I'm just
a natural salesman.
404
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:07,503
You never change, Andy.
That's what I love about you.
405
00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:10,773
Right, three grand,
to be paid back
ASAP, okay?
406
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,070
-Now, put it away quick,
'cause my dad's in...
-Roopesh!
407
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,827
Dad.
408
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:16,397
This is the company's money.
409
00:18:16,433 --> 00:18:19,733
It belongs to Carpet Brothers,
not Carpet Sons.
410
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,897
-That sucks.
-Yeah. I didn't even get
to keep the shirt.
411
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,933
If we hurry, maybe we
can find another
cheque cashing place.
412
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:27,067
-There's got to be one that
doesn't care about ID's.
-MAN: Oi!
413
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,170
There's the guy
that insulted your wife.
414
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,170
-Leg it!
-Get him!
415
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,073
* Fight for the future
416
00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:02,427
* Fight for the future
417
00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:08,533
* It's me versus you
And there's nowhere to run
418
00:19:08,567 --> 00:19:11,627
* I can see in your eyes
that the moment has come
419
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,767
* A man's gotta do
what has gotta be done
420
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,170
* There's a dozen of you
But with me, there's just one
421
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,130
* Who can recall
how we got to this place?
422
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:24,397
* Let's put aside
our differences
and cut to the chase
423
00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:27,603
* 'Cause a kick to the nuts
is like a slap in the face
424
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:31,803
* To the children of tomorrow
and the human race
425
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,133
* Fight for the future
426
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:37,867
* It's the clash of the Titans
Where legends must meet
427
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:40,330
* Fight for the future
428
00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:44,067
* We'll be pounding the ground
to the beat of the street
429
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,200
* Pow, pow, pow
Fuckin' holy cow
430
00:19:47,233 --> 00:19:50,173
* The only thing that matters
is we're dancing now
431
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,370
* Moving our feet as fast
as time allows
432
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,400
* As we fight
through the night
to make everything right
433
00:19:56,433 --> 00:20:00,603
* And use all of our might
to dance all night
434
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,533
* Fight for the future
435
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:07,000
* Don't punch my
Don't punch my face
436
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:10,003
* Fight for the future
437
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:13,333
* Don't touch my
Don't touch my face
438
00:20:13,367 --> 00:20:16,467
* Fight for the future
439
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,830
* No, not the
No, not the face
440
00:20:19,867 --> 00:20:22,967
* Fight for the future
441
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,870
* Don't punch my
Don't punch my face
442
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:30,100
-* Fight for the future...
-ERROL: Uncle Andy?
Uncle Andy?
443
00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:32,027
Uncle Andy?
444
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:46,000
My wife might be a minger,
but she's my minger.
445
00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:48,273
So, in future,
you be a bit more tactful.
446
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,000
(GROANS)
447
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,370
You took Bonny,
so I'm going to take
something you care about.
448
00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:01,703
It's tramps like you
that give the homeless
a bad name.
449
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,600
We might be hipsters,
but you're mean.
450
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:12,573
And FYI, Hurt is my favourite
Johnny Cash song, so...
451
00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:15,803
That's a Nine Inch Nails
cover.
452
00:21:18,967 --> 00:21:20,667
Oh, 15 minutes.
453
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:22,330
I'm going to be living on
the street, selling my
body for cash.
454
00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:25,297
No shame in that.
Prostitution's one of
the oldest professions.
455
00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:28,973
I could make you a website.
How about RandyAndy.net?
456
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,597
Dot net's much sluttier.
457
00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:32,103
(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES)
458
00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:35,867
Or we could just
go on the run.
459
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:37,100
I wouldn't have to
go to this party
460
00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:39,073
or watch my dad
get married to Veronica.
461
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:42,367
You could live a life without
burden. We could ramble
and pick fruit.
462
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,730
We could work on our art
and push each other
to be better,
463
00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:46,167
like van Gogh and Gauguin,
464
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,770
except without
all the ear-lopping
and suicide.
465
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,230
And giving syphilis
to all those Tahitian women.
466
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:58,630
I have a confession.
I set your phone
15 minutes fast.
467
00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:00,827
-Wait, what?
-I thought it would help you
with your lateness.
468
00:22:00,867 --> 00:22:02,427
It didn't work. But...
469
00:22:02,467 --> 00:22:04,367
Good news is,
we've got some more time.
470
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,400
Yeah, but who do we know
with a spare three grand?
471
00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:08,633
-Are you having
a fucking laugh?
-I told you he'd say that.
472
00:22:08,667 --> 00:22:11,297
Look, Val, I know
I've brought this on myself,
473
00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:14,073
but if you help me
get out of the hole I'm in,
474
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:16,197
I swear I'll start doing
things differently.
475
00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:18,173
You know, from tomorrow.
476
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,570
Or the day
after that, definitely.
I'll do whatever it takes.
477
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,170
I'll let you kick me
in the balls, or...
478
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,170
-Shut the fuck up, Andy.
-I told you he'd
say that, too.
479
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,970
All right, we'll leave.
480
00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:28,097
-How much do you need?
-Seriously?
481
00:22:28,133 --> 00:22:29,603
I knew a lad like you once.
482
00:22:29,633 --> 00:22:31,703
Moving through life
without purpose,
483
00:22:31,733 --> 00:22:34,433
people treating him
like a freak
for the way he was born.
484
00:22:34,467 --> 00:22:37,127
He didn't have
anyone there for him
when the chips were down.
485
00:22:37,167 --> 00:22:38,967
I get it.
486
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,527
That freaky kid was you.
487
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:43,797
-I'm talking about my cousin
Billy with cerebral palsy.
-Oh.
488
00:22:43,833 --> 00:22:46,103
Anyway,
489
00:22:46,133 --> 00:22:48,633
they say that life
is like a roller-coaster.
490
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:51,127
Now, some people,
they have a grand old time.
491
00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:53,627
Some people cry
and scream their heads off.
492
00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:55,927
Some just vomit.
493
00:22:55,967 --> 00:23:00,967
And others close their eyes
and try and make the
whole world disappear.
494
00:23:01,067 --> 00:23:03,067
I know!
The ride's what
you make of it.
495
00:23:03,067 --> 00:23:06,697
-You've just got to enjoy
the roller-coaster.
-No, twat!
496
00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:07,873
I'm trying to tell you
497
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,070
that the fair has more
than one ride.
498
00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:12,297
You don't have to be
on the roller-coaster.
499
00:23:12,333 --> 00:23:15,603
You can go on the...
The teacups
or the Ferris wheel
500
00:23:15,633 --> 00:23:18,073
or the whack-a-mole.
501
00:23:18,067 --> 00:23:21,127
So, today, Andy,
I'm going to buy
you a new ticket
502
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:23,397
to get on a different ride.
503
00:23:23,433 --> 00:23:25,373
And you'd better
fucking use it.
504
00:23:30,133 --> 00:23:31,733
-I've got your money.
-With two minutes to spare.
505
00:23:31,767 --> 00:23:33,967
I bet you didn't think
that was going to happen,
did you?
506
00:23:34,067 --> 00:23:35,897
I have to say, I'm impressed.
507
00:23:35,933 --> 00:23:38,203
-I'm still
evicting you, though.
-What? But he got your money.
508
00:23:38,233 --> 00:23:40,133
That he already owed me.
I won't have to sue.
We're square.
509
00:23:40,167 --> 00:23:41,797
Please, George, I'll be
the best tenant ever.
510
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:43,073
I'll even fix the hole
in the wall.
511
00:23:43,067 --> 00:23:44,927
-What hole in the wall?
-I mean...
512
00:23:44,967 --> 00:23:47,467
Sorry, Andy. That couple have
already signed a lease and
put down a four-month deposit.
513
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,170
I'll give you the weekend
to move out. By the way,
514
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,070
I'd throw out your mattress.
The upstairs tenant
reported bedbugs.
515
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,600
(DOOR SHUTS)
516
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:58,673
You're 35 minutes late.
The food is totally cold.
517
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:01,230
-Oh, the food.
-Shit. We really were
having an early dinner.
518
00:24:01,267 --> 00:24:02,697
What else
did you think
was happening?
519
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:06,800
ALL: Surprise!
520
00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:08,973
Oh, wow. Um, I had no idea.
521
00:24:09,067 --> 00:24:11,627
-Well, thanks, guys.
-Only the best for
our birthday boy.
522
00:24:16,967 --> 00:24:19,497
Uh, Dad, I believe there was
something you wanted
to tell me.
523
00:24:19,533 --> 00:24:21,503
-Oh, it can wait till later.
-Let's do it now.
524
00:24:21,533 --> 00:24:24,173
It can be a...
A dual celebration.
525
00:24:24,733 --> 00:24:26,073
Okay.
526
00:24:26,067 --> 00:24:28,627
Well, um, Veronica,
do you want to...
527
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:31,627
Uh, Roly, guys, Sam...
528
00:24:32,733 --> 00:24:34,073
And Bruce.
529
00:24:34,067 --> 00:24:37,067
Um, Veronica and I
530
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,130
are getting married.
531
00:24:39,167 --> 00:24:42,767
WOMAN:
Yeah! Aw, congratulations.
532
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,300
(APPLAUSE)
533
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,430
(WHISPERS) Microscope,
microscope, microscope.
534
00:24:48,467 --> 00:24:51,167
-It's a telescope.
-That is so cool.
535
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,330
Yeah, yeah...
Actually, yeah, it is.
Thanks, Dad.
536
00:24:59,633 --> 00:25:02,073
You know, you can always
live with us, if you want.
537
00:25:02,067 --> 00:25:04,667
-I wouldn't mind.
-Thank you.
538
00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:07,100
Your embosser will be safe,
I promise.
539
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,770
You know, as far
as wicked stepmothers go,
540
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,930
you could do a lot worse.
541
00:25:13,967 --> 00:25:16,167
Yeah, I suppose.
542
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,270
Dad's entitled
to a bit of happiness.
543
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:19,770
And when love's
staring you in the face,
544
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,370
you'd be a fool
to kick it in the teeth.
545
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,170
Even if it does have
a subscription
to HELLO! Magazine.
546
00:25:25,167 --> 00:25:26,497
Be back in a second.
547
00:25:29,233 --> 00:25:31,333
Be honest.
Did you know about the party?
548
00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:34,627
No. No, you got me.
Total surprise.
549
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:37,367
You know that Bruce
really helped me
put all this together.
550
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,470
Cool.
551
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:42,230
How would you feel
about him being around
a little bit more?
552
00:25:42,867 --> 00:25:44,297
How much more?
553
00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:48,303
Well, we were
thinking of, um...
Of moving in together.
554
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:55,570
What, like, um,
me, you, Bruce, and...
555
00:25:56,867 --> 00:25:58,097
And Tiffany?
556
00:25:58,133 --> 00:26:00,203
Well, Tiff's joint custody
like you, so...
557
00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:03,067
So sometimes, yeah.
558
00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:05,067
But, you know,
we'll figure it out.
559
00:26:06,100 --> 00:26:07,900
-Great.
-Yeah?
560
00:26:07,933 --> 00:26:11,073
-Yeah.
-Yeah? I love you.
561
00:26:14,267 --> 00:26:15,527
ANDY: So, now you know
my sob story.
562
00:26:15,567 --> 00:26:18,497
The worst thing
that could've happened
happened.
563
00:26:19,567 --> 00:26:20,797
And you know what?
564
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,327
I don't even care.
565
00:26:23,367 --> 00:26:26,067
I'm going to start
a new chapter in my life.
566
00:26:26,067 --> 00:26:27,827
-Only...
-DJ: Only?
567
00:26:27,867 --> 00:26:32,697
Well, it's too late.
My foxy bedbug has left me.
568
00:26:32,733 --> 00:26:35,403
-She went to Heathrow at 5:00.
-Well, then there's
still time.
569
00:26:35,433 --> 00:26:38,203
It's 6:00 now,
so unless you've
got a DeLorean
570
00:26:38,233 --> 00:26:40,303
or a magic police box
lying around...
571
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,933
If she left at 5:00
for an international flight,
572
00:26:42,967 --> 00:26:44,727
the flight doesn't leave
until 8:00 or 9:00.
573
00:26:44,767 --> 00:26:47,527
-I've still got time?
-Yes, dummy,
you still have time.
574
00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:51,100
Sam! I need to borrow
your car keys.
575
00:26:51,133 --> 00:26:52,733
-What for?
-I need to cause a disaster.
576
00:26:52,767 --> 00:26:55,197
Okay, but you'd better
not change
my radio presets.
577
00:26:59,133 --> 00:27:01,203
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
578
00:27:01,233 --> 00:27:04,433
Melodie, I was just about
to call you. Please say
you haven't left yet.
579
00:27:04,467 --> 00:27:06,727
TERESA:
Andy, who's Melodie?
580
00:27:06,767 --> 00:27:10,727
Teresa? Ah... Um, I'm sorry.
I can't talk right now.
581
00:27:10,767 --> 00:27:12,097
Don't worry.
I won't keep you long.
582
00:27:12,133 --> 00:27:14,133
I just wanted you to know
my husband's left me.
583
00:27:14,167 --> 00:27:16,827
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
584
00:27:16,867 --> 00:27:20,127
Well, not your fault.
Finding my pregnancy test
didn't help.
585
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:23,130
He had a vasectomy
20 years ago.
586
00:27:23,167 --> 00:27:25,397
-Uh-huh.
-Are you listening, Andy?
587
00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:29,130
I'm pregnant.
588
00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:30,597
So much for the menopause.
589
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:32,730
Andy?
590
00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:51,067
Do you want
to go for a drive?
591
00:27:51,633 --> 00:27:52,773
Where?
592
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:54,730
Anywhere.
593
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,130
Sounds perfect.
47608
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