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1
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:10,870
Trick or treat!
2
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,030
Andy, what are you doing here?
3
00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:14,667
I told you never to come
without an invitation.
4
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,570
I haven't heard from you
in a couple of weeks,
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,630
so I thought I'd surprise you
and be spontaneous
and fun-loving.
6
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,827
My husband's home.
And the neighbour's
blinds are open.
7
00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:24,397
(WHISPERING)
Well, in that case...
8
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,903
(LOUDLY) Can I
interest you in some
Jehovah's Witness literature?
9
00:00:26,933 --> 00:00:29,633
Andy, I think we're done.
10
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,770
You're getting too attached.
11
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,600
What? No, I'm not, see?
12
00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:37,203
You sent me 20 naked selfies.
13
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:40,133
I know, I was kind of going
for that flip book approach,
you know?
14
00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:42,727
(FLIPPING SOUND)
15
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:46,467
I love my husband. I don't
want to ruin my marriage.
16
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:49,630
Okay. You know...
We can just be friends.
17
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:53,927
You? Want to be friends?
You can't be friends
with women.
18
00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:55,927
Why not? I love women.
19
00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:58,797
I haven't known you long but
long enough to know that you
break everything you love.
20
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:01,433
If you really love women,
you'll leave them alone.
21
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:09,633
SHELLY: Andy?
22
00:01:11,933 --> 00:01:12,973
Shelly?
23
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:14,197
You all right?
24
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,903
Yeah, I'm just doing some
light reading.
25
00:01:16,933 --> 00:01:18,733
In the feminist book section?
26
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,327
Yeah, it's part of my new,
er, overhaul.
27
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:23,327
I'm eating goji berries
now as well.
28
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:24,727
Good for you. How are things?
29
00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:27,467
Yeah, good. I mean, the music
stuff is picking up.
30
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,600
How about you, you still
doing party gigs?
31
00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,603
No, I quit.
I couldn't stand it any more.
32
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,733
I started working for a label.
I'm a music video
commissioner now.
33
00:01:34,767 --> 00:01:36,227
Oh, you joined the enemy?
34
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:38,697
I get to nurture new acts,
see loads of gigs.
35
00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:39,873
Happiest I've ever been.
36
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,100
Except for that time that me
and you were together?
37
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:43,603
Yeah. Of course.
38
00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:45,873
Look, I... I'm sorry about...
39
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:49,070
Andy, it's fine. Going out
with you was an important
part of my life.
40
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,397
I mean, my self-esteem
was at an all-time low
41
00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:53,073
and my career was
going nowhere.
42
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:56,230
But, you know, I had to hit
rock bottom to pick
myself up again.
43
00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:59,067
Well, you know,
glad that I could help.
44
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,867
So, you seeing anyone?
45
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,470
Yeah. Lyle.
For about a year now.
46
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,770
He likes Mumford & Sons,
you'd hate him. You?
47
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,070
Nah. No. No, no.
48
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:09,367
Just taking time
for myself, really.
49
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,370
Practically living
like a monk.
50
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,830
-How's Errol?
-Yeah, he's good.
You know, still weird.
51
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,427
(LAUGHS)
52
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:18,167
Look, do you want to maybe,
um, get a bite to
eat some time?
53
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,600
You know, just as friends?
54
00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:21,103
You want to be just friends?
55
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:23,633
Yeah, why not? I mean,
you're seeing Mumford & Sons
56
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:25,567
and I've taken
a vow of celibacy.
57
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,570
I'm not monk-ing around.
58
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,730
Yeah, maybe sometime.
59
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:31,197
Yeah, sounds goo...
60
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:32,103
Whoo!
61
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:34,073
(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
62
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,700
Um, how long?
63
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:39,573
Eight months. You're still
happy being friends, right?
64
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,570
Baby, maybe. Definitely.
65
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,600
Nice seeing you, Andy.
66
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,597
Hello?
67
00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:52,903
Andy, what are you doing here?
68
00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:54,303
Shelly's pregnant.
69
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,973
Great, but you can't just
come in out of the blue.
70
00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:57,497
I gave you the key
for emergencies.
71
00:02:57,533 --> 00:03:01,433
Shelly's knocked up,
this is an emergency.
She looked so happy.
72
00:03:01,467 --> 00:03:03,797
I've never made anyone that
happy. Is Errol in?
73
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:07,203
Uh, no, he's just, he's, uh...
He's getting his costume for
the school Halloween party.
74
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:09,233
I'll just crash here
until he gets back.
75
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,427
No! You should go.
76
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,127
Have you got someone here?
77
00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:15,697
(LAUGHS) Yeah, right! I wish.
78
00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:18,333
Yeah, the only action I'm
getting is my spinning class.
79
00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:20,467
"Earn the burn",
"Spin to win"...
80
00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:22,673
Fine, I'll go.
81
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:26,070
No! No. You should stay.
82
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,227
Are you hungry?
83
00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:29,427
-(TV PLAYING)
-(DOOR SLAMS)
84
00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:32,703
-Hey, sweetie. How'd it go?
-It was a nightmare.
85
00:03:32,733 --> 00:03:35,333
I wanted to go as Isaac Newton
but they ran out
of baroque wigs.
86
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:37,727
Oh, no!
I hate it when that happens.
87
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:40,267
If I go wearing these clothes,
holding a Guardian,
88
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,700
could I pass for
Edward Snowden?
89
00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:43,073
-Oh, shit.
-What?
90
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,327
Amy's dropped out.
We're a chaperone short
for the party tonight.
91
00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:46,827
Big deal. It's just a bunch
of geeky kids.
92
00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:49,067
-How many chaperones
do you need?
-An army.
93
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:52,367
Last year, there were smoke
bombs in the faculty lounge,
laxatives in the punch bowl,
94
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,270
chilli oil on the toffee
apples, an unplanned
pregnancy...
95
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,070
Sounds like an average
night out in Camden.
96
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,327
Why don't you chaperone then?
97
00:03:58,367 --> 00:03:59,627
Hell, no.
98
00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:02,227
Mum, I like Uncle Andy,
and even I think
that's a horrible idea.
99
00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,727
Come on, you can handle kids.
100
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,397
Plus, Melodie will be there.
101
00:04:06,467 --> 00:04:08,097
No.
102
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:09,873
No, she's taken and I'm busy.
103
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,600
You don't want me
there, anyway.
104
00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,603
I'll just balls things
up like I normally do.
105
00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:16,103
Big deal. I always end up
an emotional wreck
at these things.
106
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,973
And I always have a chance to
look cool and blow it.
107
00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:21,397
Okay. So what if we just
decide to not do our usual
shit tonight, guys?
108
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:25,433
This family is capable of
having one night out,
without self-destructing.
109
00:04:25,467 --> 00:04:27,767
We just have to
think before we act
110
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,830
or speak or think.
111
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:32,367
Who is with me?
112
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,630
Fuck it, I'm in.
113
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:40,267
As long as I get to choose
Edward Snowden's costume.
114
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,200
-Deal.
-Wait, what?
115
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,103
Are you sure people are going
to get this?
116
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,733
I don't just look like
an underage mortician?
117
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,097
Relax. You look cool.
118
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:50,733
I'd better. This costume has
to get me my first kiss.
119
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:53,097
(LAUGHS)
120
00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:54,473
First kiss?
121
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,130
No, I mean, no biggy.
122
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,097
You know, nerds bloom late.
123
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,403
Once you're there and have
your own million-dollar
software corporation,
124
00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:04,633
women will be climbing
over each other to get you.
125
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,567
I can't wait that
long, though.
126
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,330
Research shows that
boys who don't hit
certain social milestones
127
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:10,127
are more likely
to become serial killers!
128
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,497
All right, all right, calm
down. Have you even got
a girl in mind?
129
00:05:12,533 --> 00:05:14,973
Ruby. I think
she's been flirting with me.
130
00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,767
The other day I asked her
if I could borrow her pen
131
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,230
and she actually
gave it to me.
132
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:22,127
Wow, not a whole pen!
What about that
One Direction thing?
133
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:24,367
Oh, she's moved on.
She's into Mumford & Sons now.
134
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,670
(MUSIC PLAYING)
135
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,800
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
136
00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:31,233
I can't believe you wouldn't
lend me a keyboard.
137
00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:32,867
Keyboards aren't props.
138
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,870
Yeah, but it's not Keytar Cat.
139
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,070
Whatevs, at least I'm
wearing a costume.
140
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,970
-This is a costume.
-No one is going to get it.
141
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:42,227
People with taste will get it.
The only people that are going
to get yours are weird,
142
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,467
creepy Internet geeks.
143
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,130
Hey, Keyboard Cat!
144
00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:46,827
Looking great, guys.
145
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:47,967
Thanks.
146
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,827
Can you guess what
we've come as?
147
00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:52,197
Of course. The Specials are my
all-time favourite band.
148
00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:54,173
Rudy rude boys forever!
149
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,730
-See?
-What a frightful bunch!
150
00:05:56,767 --> 00:05:58,227
Hi, Miss Vaughn. You look fab.
151
00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:00,067
-Can you guess what I am?
-A witch?
152
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,400
I'm a fairy godmother.
153
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:04,433
Miss Vaughn,
this is my brother Andy.
He's filling in for Amy.
154
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:07,167
If you need something filling
in, then I'm your man.
155
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,070
I'm loving the
whole MI5 thing.
156
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,300
Spooks is my favourite.
157
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:13,903
Here are your
chaperone badges.
158
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,133
Remember, we don't want
any trouble tonight.
159
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,567
Mr Foster! Hands out of the
punch bowl now!
160
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,230
Girls and boys need at least
one foot between them.
161
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:25,797
We don't want
a repeat of last year.
162
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:29,073
Of course, I don't have to
worry about you, Errol!
163
00:06:30,733 --> 00:06:31,773
-Bitch.
-Errol!
164
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:32,870
What? I said witch.
165
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,470
Which reminds me
that I need a drink.
166
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:42,703
So, I guess we should, uh,
partner up as, uh,
chaperone buddies?
167
00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:44,473
Oh, yeah. Good idea.
168
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:45,870
Have fun.
169
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,770
Pathetic. They think
they're being subtle.
170
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,770
Seriously. When did you
find out?
171
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,500
-About a month. You?
-Same.
172
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:54,533
I was playing Flappy Bird on
Bruce's phone when your
mum texted,
173
00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:56,927
"I need my meat injection."
Cringe.
174
00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:59,867
Are all adults as embarrassing
as this or is it just
our parents?
175
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,470
Old people make
everything gross.
176
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,700
Hope I'm not as gross as that
if I ever fall in love.
177
00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:05,433
Yeah.
178
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,827
Uh, cool suit, by the way.
179
00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:10,797
What? Oh, uh, thanks, yeah.
180
00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:13,733
It's from some dumb movie that
Uncle Andy's obsessed with.
181
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:16,227
It's giving me a bit
of a wedgie.
182
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:19,467
No screaming or running!
And get back inside.
183
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,270
What is there about this night
that turns our little angels
into devils?
184
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,530
You tell me.
I'm feeling a little bit
devilish myself.
185
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,297
Is Keyboard Cat in heat?
186
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:30,933
Depends, does 1950s robot
need me to change his oil?
187
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,727
Seriously, can you even
get out of this thing?
188
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:35,267
You'll be pleased to know this
costume is modular.
189
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,900
Nice try, dipshit.
190
00:07:40,933 --> 00:07:42,273
Hey, that's my dad's!
191
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,070
Well, you can tell your dad...
192
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,100
That he has got
shit taste in whisky.
193
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,473
What are you even
doing here, loser?
194
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:53,070
Well, I got finished
slamming your mum early,
so...
195
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,627
Uh, nice costume
by the way.
196
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:55,827
Bit on the nose,
don't you think?
197
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:57,927
What're you supposed to be,
a shit Men in Black?
198
00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:59,427
Jake Blues,
The Blues Brothers?
199
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:02,097
-Never heard of it.
-Obviously. It's not
a Pixar film.
200
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,903
What a massive dick.
201
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,533
Yeah? That's what
your dad said
202
00:08:05,567 --> 00:08:07,197
when your mum
203
00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:08,933
told him how big I was.
204
00:08:08,967 --> 00:08:10,097
(MELODIE CHUCKLES)
205
00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:12,333
Go on, get in there,
that's it, Charlie!
206
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:16,803
Just friends, you can do this.
207
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,633
That's it, you can do it!
208
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,167
Hey, friend!
209
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,470
Hey, Andy.
Nice Matrix costume.
210
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,400
Oh, uh, thank you.
211
00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:28,203
What do you think of mine?
Made it myself.
212
00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,167
It looks really well-made.
213
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,570
Oh, can I, uh...
Can I tempt you?
214
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,070
Oh, um...
215
00:08:39,433 --> 00:08:42,303
Not right now.
Er, Matrix men
don't eat, remember.
216
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,133
Hey, kiddies,
how's it shaking?
217
00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:47,927
Hey, Ryan. That's a really
good Back to the Future
costume.
218
00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,867
Do you think? I was sort of
torn between
219
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,830
Marty and George McFly,
to be honest.
220
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,897
"I'm your density."
221
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,073
I mean, "Destiny."
222
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:57,597
Aw, you're so cute.
223
00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,530
Keep an eye on this one.
224
00:08:59,567 --> 00:09:01,527
(GIGGLES)
225
00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,797
So, um, Melodie said
you've got a really sick
discography at home.
226
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:07,073
Melodie mentioned that she'd
been round my flat?
227
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:11,197
Yeah, the night you guys got
really mashed up.
228
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,673
Don't look so stricken, Andy,
she tells me everything.
229
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,130
Said that you have the best
music taste
230
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,067
out of any guy
she'd ever met.
231
00:09:18,067 --> 00:09:19,497
Oh, aside from you, obviously.
232
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:21,073
Obviously.
233
00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:23,367
But what is most important
is that we hate the
same bands.
234
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:25,103
Mumford & Sons.
235
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:28,273
I made them break up
using just my psychic powers.
236
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,727
(GASPS)
237
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:32,727
-All right?
-Yeah.
238
00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:35,533
I saw Alfie spit on those.
239
00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:40,973
We should go and mingle.
240
00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:42,467
Do you want to come and
talk to Ruby with me?
241
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,070
-No.
-Come on. You two can talk
about girl things.
242
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,570
I hate girl things.
243
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,400
I love jamming in
my spare time
244
00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:50,773
but the music career thing,
just a bit of a lark.
245
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,603
Teaching is my true calling.
246
00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:56,473
Like Pryzbylewski in, uh,
season 4 of The Wire.
247
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:59,100
I'm so heterosexually
attracted to you right now.
248
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,703
If it wasn't for the old
lady friend...
249
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:04,203
-She's a good one.
-She's the one.
250
00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:06,573
Never been more certain
of anything in my whole life.
251
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,800
BOY: Oh, Mr Sardson,
someone let off
252
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:10,203
a stink bomb
in the boys' loo.
253
00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,773
Well, duty calls.
254
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:26,027
Are you leaving without saying
goodbye, then?
255
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,667
Hey. Yeah.
256
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:32,430
Uh, I'm not feeling so hot.
Must be a glitch in the Matrix
or something
257
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:37,367
but, um...
It was really nice
seeing you.
258
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:40,633
And you look really happy.
259
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:43,833
Excuse me, Miss Thomas,
Miss Thomas.
260
00:10:43,867 --> 00:10:46,397
A girl just slipped down the
stairs, I think she's broken
her ankle!
261
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,473
Oh, God. Andy, will
you come help?
262
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:54,873
Uh, yep.
263
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,900
Everything seems in order.
264
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,033
She's just in there.
265
00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,397
Where is she?
266
00:10:59,433 --> 00:11:02,703
Well, well, if it ain't
Snore White and Men in Crap.
267
00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:03,703
Oh, shit.
268
00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:06,603
Enjoy your
all-night lez-off, ladies.
269
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,533
Alfie, no!
270
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,597
Alfie Foster,
you are in deep shit!
271
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:12,573
-Hi, Ruby.
-Oh, hey, guys.
272
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:13,500
Nice dress.
273
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:16,073
Cool ghost costume.
I like yours too, Errol.
274
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,527
It's giving him a wedgie.
275
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:19,873
She's joking.
276
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:21,330
(WHISPERING) Girl talk.
277
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:25,667
So, Ruby, have you started
your period yet?
278
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,570
-Uh...
-(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
279
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,270
No, I had to go out and buy my
mum some tampons
the other week.
280
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:33,430
Yeah, I think the cashier
thought I was some sort of
boyish lesbian.
281
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:35,797
You know tampons have been
around since Ancient Egypt?
282
00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:38,673
They used to call periods
"the Pharaoh's curse."
283
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,070
Crazy stuff, right?
284
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,497
Ladies?
285
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:43,473
Hey, Rubes, we stole
Miss Vaughn's keys
and we're going to the
286
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,070
staff room to play
Seven Minutes In Heaven,
want to come?
287
00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:47,227
What's Seven Minutes
In Heaven?
288
00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:49,067
It's a kissing game you play
in a cupboard.
289
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,597
You can bring
your friends too.
290
00:11:50,633 --> 00:11:51,603
What about Errol and Tiffany?
291
00:11:51,633 --> 00:11:53,803
Air-hole and Tuf-fanny?
I don't think so.
292
00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:57,203
It's either me and all
my friends, or none
of us at all.
293
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,600
-(GRUNTS)
-MELODIE: Someone help!
294
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,373
Who designed this door,
Josef Fritzl?
295
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,570
Shit, I haven't got any bars,
have you?
296
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,070
No. Alfie'd better get
expelled for this.
297
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:10,827
Yeah, well, his dad's on
the board of governors.
He's untouchable.
298
00:12:10,867 --> 00:12:14,527
Well, at least it's
not my fault.
299
00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:17,103
Why would it be your fault?
300
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:18,773
It doesn't matter.
301
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,900
Well, Ryan'll come looking
for us once he sees
I'm missing.
302
00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:24,703
And if not, the caretaker will
definitely unlock the door...
303
00:12:24,733 --> 00:12:26,803
-That's good.
-At 5:00 a.m.
304
00:12:27,467 --> 00:12:29,267
Fuck him.
305
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:32,070
And now I'm dying of thirst.
306
00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:39,427
Well, it's not water
but it's wet.
307
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:42,397
So, should probably tell
the kids soon, right?
308
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:44,773
Totally. Yeah, I'm just
waiting for the right time.
309
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,230
Errol's been a bit annoyed
with his dad lately
and I'm enjoying
310
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,767
being the good guy
for once.
311
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,670
I just hope Claire doesn't try
to murder you when
she finds out.
312
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,170
Why would she?
You're getting a divorce,
she cheated on you.
313
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,900
Yeah. Her brain doesn't
work like that.
314
00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:57,633
When we were together,
I wasn't allowed any female
Facebook friends.
315
00:12:57,667 --> 00:12:58,897
-Shit.
-Exactly.
316
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:01,173
(WHISPERING) No, it's Claire.
317
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,370
-I have a confession.
-Uh, shoot.
318
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,400
Claire didn't leave me.
I left her.
319
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:07,433
-Okay...
-And now she's trying
to win me back.
320
00:13:07,467 --> 00:13:09,067
What? Why don't you just
tell her we're together!
321
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,930
Claire! You look great.
322
00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:14,197
And look at this hunky robot.
323
00:13:15,967 --> 00:13:18,627
Ooh, you wear my
favourite cologne.
324
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,367
Like a Boy Scout,
always prepared.
325
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,800
Hey, Claire.
That costume's fab.
326
00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:25,133
What costume?
327
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,570
Kidding! (LAUGHS)
328
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,430
Charlie's Angels used to be
mine and Bruce's favourite
role play.
329
00:13:30,467 --> 00:13:32,227
Anyway, how are you, Sam?
It's been too long.
330
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:34,067
Yeah. I probably didn't have
these whiskers then.
331
00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,297
Actually, you did.
332
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,203
Seriously though, if you want
to pop in the salon,
333
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,603
we'll wax that right off.
334
00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,673
So, you still doing that
psychology stuff?
335
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,500
I always thought Bruce should
go to therapy.
336
00:13:42,533 --> 00:13:43,673
Sorry, can we not...
337
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:46,370
Oh, relax. It's only Sam.
338
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,130
It's not like she's
your girlfriend.
339
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,503
Has anyone seen my keys?
340
00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:51,533
Anyone seen Melodie?
341
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:53,067
Actually, where's
Andy and Errol?
342
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,070
Bruce. Where's our daughter?
343
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,127
So, you spin the bottle
and whoever...
344
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:58,827
Whomever.
345
00:13:58,867 --> 00:14:01,867
Whoever it lands on, you go
in the cupboard with
for seven minutes.
346
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,600
If it lands on someone of the
same sex, you spin again.
347
00:14:04,633 --> 00:14:05,733
That's a bit homophobic.
348
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,070
(CHUCKLING)
349
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:17,503
And then, I scratched
a massive dick into his
dad's Bentley.
350
00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:18,733
That never happened.
351
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,567
No, I swear to Satan,
it happened.
352
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,530
Why do you think Alfie
hates me so much?
353
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:23,667
Because he's a cock.
354
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,630
(BOTH LAUGHING)
355
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,297
I'm not supposed to
badmouth my students.
356
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,073
-You can just blame it
on the whisky.
-Yeah.
357
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:45,673
I remember that was the day
that I first saw Shelly
again, since school.
358
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,170
I saw her today.
She's pregnant.
359
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,670
You don't sound too thrilled.
360
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,933
I'm never anyone's
happy ending.
361
00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:54,627
You know, I'm a bit like jazz.
362
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,227
You think it's a good idea
at the time and then,
in the end,
363
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:59,327
it's just disappointing
and messy.
364
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,703
Yeah, you dodged
a bullet with me.
365
00:15:03,533 --> 00:15:04,633
Dodged a bullet?
366
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:06,767
Well, you know, 'cause...
367
00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:10,397
It doesn't matter.
368
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:14,470
But you've met your
Prince Charming, haven't you?
369
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:17,400
Yeah. Ryan's amazing.
370
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,473
He's like a greatest hits
album, isn't he?
371
00:15:20,633 --> 00:15:23,073
I'm sure you'll be
very happy together.
372
00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:25,127
Why does that feel
like an insult?
373
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:30,227
You know, it's...
374
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:31,627
It's not like Ryan
and I are...
375
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:34,330
Married or anything.
376
00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:43,203
Now, that is the
whisky talking.
377
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,473
I might be a bad person
378
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,130
but that doesn't mean I have
to make bad decisions, so...
379
00:15:49,167 --> 00:15:50,697
(SOFTLY)
I'm going to take this...
380
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:52,473
And I'm going to
sit over here.
381
00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:56,603
(CHEERING)
382
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,600
It's your turn, Rubes.
383
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,967
(SHOCKED GASPS)
384
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:08,127
It's between two people.
Do over.
385
00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:24,267
* Seven minutes in heaven
386
00:16:26,267 --> 00:16:29,597
* Or a lifetime in hell
387
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:35,927
* Seven minutes in
heaven, darling
388
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:39,227
* It's too early to tell
389
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,627
* One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven
390
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:45,097
* Got seven whole minutes
just to take you to heaven
391
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:47,773
* Was there
something between us,
if there was, what was it?
392
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,300
* Trapped in a cupboard
but I'm not in a closet
393
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:52,573
* Breathing so hard,
going faster and faster
394
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,230
* But it might be the dust,
it's affecting my asthma
395
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,667
* Time's running out
at a rate that's alarming
396
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,300
* You're my fairytale
princess, I'm your Prince
fucking Charming
397
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:02,903
* Round, round, round,
goes the spin of the bottle
398
00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:04,973
* Better slow down,
don't give it full throttle
399
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,327
* I like, like you so hard,
I like, like you to bits
400
00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:09,797
* You look like an angel,
an angel with tits
401
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:12,433
* I've helped you with
homework for terms and terms
402
00:17:12,467 --> 00:17:14,867
* I wanted to kiss you,
to hell with the germs
403
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,330
* Want to take you to heaven
till you're begging for more
404
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:20,597
* I got seven whole minutes
but I'll only need four
405
00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:25,833
* I don't know why you
wouldn't want this to be
406
00:17:25,867 --> 00:17:28,597
* Anything that it could be
407
00:17:30,767 --> 00:17:35,727
* I don't know why you
would want this to end
408
00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:38,067
* Seven minutes in heaven
409
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,430
* Oh, oh, yeah
410
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:42,897
* Seven minutes in heaven
411
00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:45,273
* Oh, oh, yeah
412
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,770
* Seven minutes in heaven
413
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,300
* Oh, oh, yeah
414
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:53,073
* Seven minutes in heaven
415
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,730
* Oh, oh, yeah
416
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,703
-Spin again.
-No!
417
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,073
You made the rules, Alfie.
418
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,297
Come on, Errol.
419
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,830
Melodie?
420
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:16,067
Tiff?
421
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,130
So, uh, how long have you been
with Errol's mum?
422
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,427
Whoa, whoa,
who says I'm with Errol's mum?
423
00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,727
Come on, it doesn't take
a rocket scientist.
424
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:27,627
Plus, I saw you guys coming
out of the broom
cupboard together.
425
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:28,767
Please don't tell my ex.
426
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,400
Relax, it's none
of my business.
427
00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:33,333
Out of curiosity though,
as a formerly married man,
428
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:36,067
how did you, um, propose?
429
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,173
Claire proposed
to me, actually.
430
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,170
Half-time at the
Fulham-Stoke match.
431
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,930
Projected on the big screen
in front of 20,000 fans.
432
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,097
It must've been a great day.
433
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:46,073
Yeah, it was. We won 2-0.
434
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,630
Tiff?
435
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,067
Love a good closet.
436
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,200
It's like being in a lift
437
00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:53,903
but without all of the
hydraulic risk factors.
438
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,203
I can't kiss you, Errol.
439
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,533
No, definitely, no.
I'd, uh, recommend against.
440
00:18:57,567 --> 00:19:00,097
Just to be clear though,
why aren't we kissing?
441
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:01,333
I just want to be
on the same page.
442
00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:02,927
Is there another
boy you fancy?
443
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,197
No. It's Tiffany.
444
00:19:04,233 --> 00:19:05,973
You fancy Tiffany?
445
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:08,827
Wow, okay.
I didn't see that coming.
446
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:12,127
Now I see how the One
Direction thing was just an
overcompensation.
447
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:15,927
No, Tiffany fancies you
and I'm afraid
she'll beat me up.
448
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:17,327
No, that's crazy.
449
00:19:17,367 --> 00:19:19,867
Rubes? Is Air-hole's breath
knocking you out already?
450
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,830
Go away, Alfie!
451
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:25,527
Look, if Tiffany didn't have
a crush on you, why does
she follow you everywhere?
452
00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:26,667
She's my bodyguard.
453
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,670
I've seen the way
she looks at you in class.
454
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,630
She's just keeping an eye
out for snipers.
455
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,697
Look, if we kiss,
we don't have to tell anyone.
456
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:36,370
Are you angry with me?
457
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,100
No.
458
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,070
Yes.
459
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:43,227
People look at me
and all they see
is some innocent little...
460
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:45,427
Pollyanna.
461
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,767
Well, the costume's
not helping.
462
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,100
I know you think you're this
tortured artist, Andy,
463
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:50,703
but I'm no angel.
464
00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,973
I've slept with a married man.
465
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,127
I've slept with
a married woman.
466
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,397
Now you're just
turning me on.
467
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:58,773
-I was sectioned once.
-Okay, that's less sexy.
Go on.
468
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,630
I had food issues...
Have, I have food issues.
469
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,867
Couldn't keep
a meal down for five years.
470
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:07,200
I ate 30 Crunchie bars
in an hour, once,
471
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:10,203
and I still can't see one
without breaking a sweat.
472
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:13,173
Bulimia with self-harm was
the official diagnosis.
473
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:16,627
Does Ryan know all this?
474
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:21,173
I don't want to pull him
down into the darkness.
475
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,430
But you and me,
we already live there, Andy.
476
00:20:25,467 --> 00:20:28,527
So you're not protecting me
from the big bad wolf.
477
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,030
I was ruining my own life
long before I met you.
478
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:38,503
Were they
the fun size Crunchies
or the regular ones?
479
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,427
Tiff!
480
00:20:43,467 --> 00:20:45,067
Roly?
481
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:47,070
Sam, can I ask you something?
482
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:50,330
Is it the lines on my
forehead? Yeah, I know
I should get Botox.
483
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:53,797
But I'm just, I hate needles.
That's why I never
mainlined heroin.
484
00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:57,103
It's not the lines but I can
get you a good price
on those.
485
00:20:57,133 --> 00:21:00,403
As a therapist, anything I say
is confidential, right?
486
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,133
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely, yeah.
487
00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,403
Do you think I'm scary?
488
00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:06,633
You?
489
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,073
No.
490
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:12,867
No? It's just that sometimes
I think things ended
with me and Bruce
491
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:14,170
because I was overpowering.
492
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,630
I thought they ended
because you cheated on him?
493
00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,597
We could be all night
trying to figure out
who's to blame,
494
00:21:17,633 --> 00:21:20,303
it's just that there's
something different
about him.
495
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,103
A glow. If I didn't
know any better...
496
00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:26,173
-Claire, I just want to say...
-I think he wants me back.
497
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,700
-Pardon?
-It's obvious.
498
00:21:27,733 --> 00:21:30,803
And I know Tiff hates
living between two houses.
499
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:35,073
I mean, look how
it's damaged your boy.
What do you think?
500
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:37,067
Should we give it another go?
501
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:38,230
-Um...
-There you two are!
502
00:21:38,267 --> 00:21:40,727
I think I know where the
children might be.
503
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:43,403
ALFIE: You've got
a minute left.
504
00:21:43,433 --> 00:21:45,833
Maybe we should just
come out early.
505
00:21:45,867 --> 00:21:48,127
There's valour in defeat.
506
00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:49,697
-Wait...
-ALFIE: That's it.
I'm coming in.
507
00:21:49,733 --> 00:21:51,303
Leave them alone, Alfie.
508
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:53,833
Don't you mind your
boyfriend's in there with
the prettiest girl in school?
509
00:21:53,867 --> 00:21:56,267
-Shut up, you're just jealous.
-Get off me, Tuf-fanny!
510
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,470
What's that...
511
00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:02,167
...wet feeling?
512
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,600
It's not me, I swear!
513
00:22:03,633 --> 00:22:05,103
Oh, no.
514
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:08,233
I think I just got my first
Pharaoh's curse.
515
00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:11,627
Wait, your first? You mean
you've... You've never...
516
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,203
So you've, uh,
had your first period.
517
00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:17,673
Um, congratulations.
518
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:19,070
You're a woman.
Don't freak out.
519
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:21,070
It happens late
for some girls.
520
00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:22,227
We can still kiss, though,
can't we?
521
00:22:22,667 --> 00:22:23,727
I have to go!
522
00:22:24,633 --> 00:22:26,403
-Ow!
-Ruby, wait!
523
00:22:29,067 --> 00:22:30,897
What's going on?
Is this an orgy?
524
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:32,103
Get out!
525
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,473
Roly, what is going on here?
526
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:37,830
What do you care?
You're too busy with Bruce
to understand!
527
00:22:37,867 --> 00:22:40,767
Bruce? (CHUCKLES)
What's he talking about?
528
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,900
Sam and Bruce are shagging.
529
00:22:41,933 --> 00:22:44,373
(LAUGHS) Kids' imaginations!
530
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,970
Listen, Claire, I can explain
everything.
531
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,727
The thing is
that I'm going to run.
532
00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:51,103
(MELODIE SIGHS)
533
00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:53,527
Ryan's going to propose.
534
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,070
-How do you know?
-I can just feel it.
535
00:22:57,067 --> 00:22:58,867
Like when you eat
12 packets of Maltesers
536
00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:00,270
and you know
you're going to be sick.
537
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:03,530
-You've eaten 12 packets
of Maltesers?
-18 is my record.
538
00:23:03,567 --> 00:23:06,467
That's what I get for watching
the Buffy box set.
539
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,230
You could do a lot
worse than Ryan.
540
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:10,073
Yeah, I know.
541
00:23:10,967 --> 00:23:13,597
Ryan's nice and...
542
00:23:14,533 --> 00:23:16,633
Good, fun...
543
00:23:17,733 --> 00:23:19,333
Safe.
544
00:23:19,367 --> 00:23:20,367
Safe is good.
545
00:23:24,433 --> 00:23:26,073
But I don't want to be safe.
546
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,270
I want to be...
547
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,670
...thrilled.
548
00:23:32,633 --> 00:23:34,073
Just once more...
549
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:37,500
...before I'm locked
away for good.
550
00:23:47,567 --> 00:23:48,797
There.
551
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,500
See?
552
00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:53,730
Nothing ruined.
553
00:24:09,867 --> 00:24:11,227
Melodie?
554
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:17,330
Ryan...
555
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,230
Got it! Reservoir Dogs!
556
00:24:25,867 --> 00:24:27,527
Ryan, it's not what
it looks like!
557
00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:30,797
Oh, really? 'Cause it looked
a lot like you two were
sucking face.
558
00:24:30,833 --> 00:24:32,073
We weren't kissing,
559
00:24:32,067 --> 00:24:33,467
Alfie locked us in the
storeroom
560
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,330
and then I got a Skittle
stuck down my throat.
561
00:24:36,367 --> 00:24:38,367
Was it an orange one?
God, I hate those guys.
562
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,070
You must think I'm
stupid, Andy?
563
00:24:40,067 --> 00:24:42,567
It's not like I didn't know
there was a spark
between you two
564
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,400
but I thought you
were cooler than that.
How could you, man?
565
00:24:45,433 --> 00:24:47,673
And dressed as a character
from my all-time
favourite film.
566
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,070
You know, I'm never going to
be able to watch
Blues Brothers again.
567
00:24:50,067 --> 00:24:53,327
Yes! Finally,
somebody gets it.
568
00:24:56,567 --> 00:24:58,127
SAM: Help.
569
00:24:58,167 --> 00:25:00,467
Bruce, are you slamming
this bony bitch?
570
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,130
Hey! Aw, do you
think I'm bony?
571
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:03,897
I was joking.
They're not really together.
572
00:25:03,933 --> 00:25:05,603
-Yes, they are.
-Who the fuck are you?
573
00:25:05,633 --> 00:25:06,903
Claire. Who the fuck are you?
574
00:25:06,933 --> 00:25:08,173
I'm Sam's brother.
575
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,070
Hang on, you're
Bruce's ex, Claire?
576
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:12,770
And you think them
two are together?
577
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,400
I think I would know if my
sister was shacking
up with Bruce.
578
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,770
It's true.
579
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,430
Sorry I didn't tell you
sooner, Claire.
580
00:25:22,467 --> 00:25:25,597
But now that everything's
out in the open,
581
00:25:25,633 --> 00:25:27,503
hopefully we can handle
this like adults.
582
00:25:28,067 --> 00:25:29,667
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
583
00:25:30,933 --> 00:25:32,173
Truce?
584
00:25:32,867 --> 00:25:34,067
Ow!
585
00:25:35,633 --> 00:25:36,633
Yeah, yeah?
586
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:40,700
Don't! You wouldn't dare.
I've just had my roots done!
587
00:25:40,733 --> 00:25:42,533
What on earth is going here?
588
00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:44,567
(ALL GASP)
589
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:46,800
(SCREAMS)
590
00:25:57,900 --> 00:25:59,170
Hi, Tiff.
591
00:25:59,467 --> 00:26:01,327
Hey.
592
00:26:01,367 --> 00:26:03,397
I appreciate you
sticking up for me before.
593
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,130
Especially considering...
594
00:26:06,967 --> 00:26:08,627
What?
595
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,067
I just wanted to say thanks.
596
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:11,700
You're welcome.
597
00:26:11,733 --> 00:26:13,133
Haven't said thank you yet.
598
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,130
No matter how hard
I try doing things right,
599
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:27,227
I always end up with
egg on my face.
600
00:26:27,267 --> 00:26:30,197
Or cupcake in your hair.
601
00:26:31,967 --> 00:26:33,597
It's my fault.
602
00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:35,903
I should have been
honest with Claire.
603
00:26:35,933 --> 00:26:38,303
I guess I'm just
a malfunctioning robot.
604
00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:40,103
Somebody should probably give
you a service then.
605
00:26:40,133 --> 00:26:44,403
You're right, otherwise we
might have a CAT-astrophe
on our hands.
606
00:26:44,433 --> 00:26:46,073
-Ow!
-Yeah?
607
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,070
Bruce, can you
give us a minute?
608
00:26:54,467 --> 00:26:57,267
Look, Claire. I just want to
say, for my part,
609
00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:00,230
I didn't handle the situation
well and I'm really sorry.
610
00:27:00,267 --> 00:27:02,067
Yeah. I really need
to step back
611
00:27:02,067 --> 00:27:05,097
and take a good long
look at myself after this too.
612
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:06,630
Really?
613
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,067
No.
614
00:27:08,067 --> 00:27:10,367
Watch your back, bitch.
615
00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:18,603
So, if you knew about
your mum and Bruce,
616
00:27:20,533 --> 00:27:22,503
why didn't you tell me?
617
00:27:22,533 --> 00:27:25,133
I figured you'd have
a meltdown about it
being weird
618
00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:27,627
between you and Bruce,
and make it all about
yourself.
619
00:27:29,867 --> 00:27:31,197
Did you have
your first kiss?
620
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:32,573
A gentleman never tells.
621
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,470
Yeah, but Blues Brothers don't
keep secrets, do they?
622
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:38,070
All right, then.
623
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:39,370
Do you love Melodie?
624
00:27:44,367 --> 00:27:45,367
You know...
625
00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:50,873
Next year, we should
come as Ghostbusters.
626
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:53,600
ERROL: Great. Another film
I haven't heard of.
627
00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:55,903
Are the costumes for that
wedgie-inducing as well?
628
00:27:55,933 --> 00:27:57,903
ANDY: Nah. Super baggy
and comfortable.
629
00:27:57,933 --> 00:27:59,773
Naturally, I'll be
Bill Murray.
630
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,400
You'll be Harold Ramis,
obviously.
631
00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:05,700
And Bruce is going to have
to be Ernie Hudson.
632
00:28:05,733 --> 00:28:10,073
And Tiff is just going to have
to live with being Aykroyd.
47691
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