All language subtitles for Uncle.S02E03_English

ERROL: Hello?

(KNOCKING)

Uncle Andy?

Errol?

What happened?
Did you overdose?

I've got the flu.
How'd you get in?

I used the spare key
under the mat.

What spare key under the mat?

The one I had made.

(COUGHS)

Why aren't you
running for your life?

Oh, I've had the flu jab.
I'm invincible.

Oh. What do you want?

You came all this way
to give me a piece of paper?

It's a song competition.

I'll go and make a cup of tea
and you can read the details.

-(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
-(GROANING)

Is Roly there?

I'm not sure.
He could be a hallucination.

I've just drank
a ton of cough syrup.

Oh, are you Robo-tripping?
I use to love doing that.

No, I've got the flu.

Oh. You should've got the jab.
Listen, did Roly tell you
we had a fight?

He just stormed out.
He's been horrible lately.

It's just puberty.

Ugh, God, I hope not.

I tried to go on a date
the other night, but Roly
hid my car keys.

And then when we were
playing Scrabble,
he spelled "traitor".

So? What's the big deal?

Three times in one game.

Oh, shit. Scrabble messages?
That's how Fred West
got started.

(BLOWING NOSE)

So who's this bloke
you've been seeing?

Oh, just someone I met
at a sex trauma workshop.

-Sexy.
-Oh, speaking of...

If someone texts you,
"What are you wearing?"

but all you're wearing is
a shitty dressing gown,

then what would you say?

Are you really asking your
brother for sext advice?

It's not a sext!
It's a foreplext.

Just write "A strap-on
and an open mind."

Really?
That would do it for you?

Hypothetically.
Now let me die in peace.

I'm not fighting with Mum.
And I didn't hide her keys.

She's just always losing them.

Have you just listened
to our entire conversation?

Did she say who
she's been texting?

No. What do you care?

-Well, if I knew his name,
I could do a CRB check on him.
-(KNOCK ON DOOR)

-MAN: Andy?
-Who's that?

You're rent's past due again.
Two weeks late.

Andy?

Ugh, I think I just got
some of your body
salt in my mouth.

Why haven't you
paid your rent?

Because I'm out of severance
with Carpet Brothers,

and my job seekers hasn't
come in yet and I'm sick.

Which is why we need
to write this song.
The deadline's tomorrow.

The only thing
I'm going to do today

is watch Game of Thrones
and hate people on Facebook.

What have you got to lose?

My dignity.

You're wearing a onesie.

It's a jumpsuit.

But this could be
The Bear Maximum's
big comeback. It'll be fun.

No. You can't come back
in a band
after trying to go solo.

That's like Japan
not being allowed
weapons after the war.

Fine. Well, first prize
is only £20,000.

The Bear Maximum is go!

No. This is a solo project.

I'm doing this for myself
by myself.

Besides, I need the money
more than you.

But I was the one
who told you
about the contest!

And for that,
I am eternally grateful,
little buddy.

If you're so broke,
how are you
going to pay for a studio?

A friend owes me a favour.

-For what?
-Let's just say that

when the pigs
raided his house party,

his incriminating stash
magically disappeared.

I couldn't crap
straight for a week.

Psst, Andy.

Hugo, this is my
nephew, Errol.

Please don't tell
anyone about this because
if my boss Jerry finds out,

he'll literally
cut my head off,

put it on a pike
or cut my nuts off,
put 'em on my mouth.

Cut my feet off,
make them into hands.

Relax, we get the picture.

Then he'll sack me.

Would I get you the sack?

Probably.

Here she is.
Remember you've only got
until 2:00, guys.

There's another
band in afterwards so...

Oh, we're not a band.
This is a solo thing.

You're producing for the kid?
Nice one, brother.

Oh, and if you need
any engineering help,

I'm trying to get
my 10,000 hours.
Only got 9,958 to go.

Not necessary.
It's only a quick job.
In and out...

Ooh, someone's had
a boozy night?
Got the DTs?

I've got the flu.

Should've got the jab.
Keep it down.
Jerry's got bat ears.

Nice onesie, by the way.
Where'd you get it from?

Okay! See you in a bit, then!

* Last place hero...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait.

Last Place Hero is one of our
unrecorded songs.

I wrote the lyrics.

And I wrote the melody,
so if I change the lyrics,
then it's a new song.

* There's a way to win
And a way to lose

* If you're a hero
Just like Nero... *

Hold on, hold on.
Emperor Nero burned
Christians in his garden

as a source of light.

Well, maybe I mean
the band Nero.

And if you've got
any questions from now on,
raise your hand.

* Last place hero

* Fun like Robert De Niro...

-What?
-Robert De Niro is not fun.

Clearly you've never seen
Midnight Run.

The film set in
the Turkish prison?

That's Midnight Express.
Do you know nothing?

Now, here I am
just trying to write something
that's a little bit profound.

What do you want?

You want me to
write something,
what, that's important?

What, like a song
about recycling?

* Recycling, recycling
It is so exciting

* If you want a way
to earn some cash

* Why not go
return your trash... *

Whoa. Wait a minute,
that's a blatant lie.

You can't make cash
from recycling.

All right,
now don't touch anything.
Just push record on three.

So, you don't want me
to touch anything but
you want me

-to press record?
-Did I stutter?

No. It's just, how am I going
to not touch anything
yet press record?

(SIGHS) You know what I mean.
Just push it, on three.

I think I'll go... I think
I'll go on two,
just to be safe.

Then what's the point in me
counting to three?

-Well, it's a cushion.
-I don't need a cushion!

You're making me yell now!

-I can't make you yell.
-Just push it on three!

One, two, three.

(EXHALES)

I nailed it.
Let's hear it back.

-I thought I was only allowed
to press record?
-Just press play.

ANDY: Then what's the point
of me counting to three?

-ERROL: It's a cushion.
-I don't need a cushion.

-You're making me yell now.
-I can't make you yell.

Just push it on three!

One, two...

What happened to
that amazing track
I just recorded?

Oops. Looks like
I might have accidentally

pressed record a bit earlier
without realising it.

At least I went on two.

You're sabotaging me!

Sabotage?
Please, if I was sabotaging
you, you wouldn't even know.

-I'd be like Mossad.
-Who's Mossad?

The Israeli secret service.
They're the best!

Shh. I can hear
you guys in the lobby.

Well, then you need better
sound-proofing in here, then.

(MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES)

-What?
-I sent your strap-on text
and he wrote back,

"Sounds like
I've been a bad boy.
What're you going to do?"

What should I write?

Just write, "I'm reporting you
to Human Resources."

I'm hanging up now. Bye.

Hugo? Is something broken?

Have you got
a minute to come down
and record something for me?

-Oh, what, you need my help?
-Not help. Assistance.

Oh, right, you mean like
when you grow a moustache

and you let your face hair
grow around it,

and people are like, "Do you
have a beard?"

And you're like,
"No, I've got a moustache."

(MUSIC PLAYING)

And that's how
you record a track.

Nice work, Hugo.

Now all I've got to do is
finish off these lyrics.

Do you not think
this could maybe
use some keyboard?

Oh, that's funny,
I play keyboards,

but someone
doesn't want my help.

Really? Because I think this
could use a little EDM vibe.

I'm just going to jump in.

But I only play keyboards
for The Bear Maximum.

So I wouldn't
play them for you
if you begged.

Oh, really?
And what if it
was my dying wish?

That would be
the saddest dying wish ever.

I'm sorry.
What's your awesome
dying wish, then?

I'd like to have
my ashes sent
into space.

Preferably towards Europa.

Never going to happen. NASA
don't care about the ashes

of some dead British kid.
It's too expensive.

But it's my dying wish.
Money's no object.

In that case, my dying wish
is for you to take my guitar

up to the top
of Mount Everest.

Mount Everest? That's in
the Death Zone.

Do you know what they use for
landmarks up there?

-Dead bodies.
-Who cares?

I've just gone broke sending
your ashes into outer space!

I can't believe you won't
do this for me!

What's the point
in a dying wish
if we both end up dead?

Guys! Listen to this.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

That's good.
Is that generated?

The drums are, yeah.

But I actually sampled
the bass from a session

-we had with a band
last week.
-Can we use that?

We'll have to get the bass
guitarist to come in

and do a live version
but he's really cool, genuine,

down to earth, great tattoos.

I'm pretty sure
he'd do me a favour.

Well, get him in!

* You're a last place hero

* Last place for wimps
And first place for pimps... *

-Uncle Andy?
-I'm not changing that.

Do you know how hard it is
to find a rhyme for wimps?

Limps, glimpse, chimps,
crimps, shrimps.

That's not what I was
going to say, though.

If you let me
back in the band,

-I'll let you keep the prize.
-No deal.

-(COUGHING)
-Guys, meet Casper.

Fuck.

Hey, guys.

I'm so sorry. If I'd known...

Where are you going?

Kid, I'd rather have
my cock amputated

and replaced by a cactus than
play on your uncle's track.

We really
shouldn't be talking
in the hallway.

Jerry can smell people.

Errol, I'm sure you don't
understand why us
grownups keep fighting

and we can't put
our differences aside
in the name of music,

but life just doesn't
work like that,

plus your uncle is a dick
to my boyfriend.

You're looking
at this all wrong.

If you really want to get
under Uncle Andy's skin,

you need to
play on his track.

That way, every time he
listens to it, he'll hear you.

No matter how
good the song is,
it'll be ruined forever.

All right, let's do this.

Hey mate,
you're not
playing on my track.

Do you need bass or not?

Nobody needs bass.

You look like shit. Like worse
than usual. You got the HIV?

-I've got the flu.
-Should've got the jab.

Listen,
if you use Hugo's sample,

I'll sue you till
your arse is sore.

All right.
Live bass. Take one.

Only going to
need one take, mate.

(GAGGING)

-(MOANING)
-ERROL: What's that?

It's a rusty trombone.

(GAGGING)

I don't even want to know
what that one is.

One, two... One, two...

-Babe, do you mind?
-GWEN: What, babe?

CASPER: Babe, your phone.

Oh, yeah, one second, babe.
I'm just on the last level.

-Babe! Turn your fuckin'
phone off!
-Just play your little bass.

Okay, first off,
this isn't a little bass,

it's actually
quite a big bass.

And secondly,
show some respect
for my process.

Your process is dumb!
(CHUCKLES)

Right, fuck this.

And that's a cut
on take one.

Knock, knock,
are you ready to rock?
Did I just see Casper?

Mum, what are you doing here?

Oh, this is your mum? Cool.

-How did you find us?
-Roly tweeted your location.

So are The Bear Maximum
really back together?

No. I know what you're doing.
I switched my phone off,

so you come here to get me
to write a sext for you.

Pfft, as if I'd be
that desperate.

But, by the way, if you did
get a text asking
if you've been a filthy girl,

-then what would you say?
-Hmm, good question.

And I'll answer
that as soon as you

get Gwen to make up
with Casper.

SAM:
So what're you going to do?

Get Casper to make
up with Gwen.

Is that a onesie?

Want to talk about it?

-No.
-Works for me.

CASPER: I mean,
what is her problem?

When we were first dating,
she would be sat
in that front row

every single
night staring at me
with those fuck-me eyes.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, and those eyes
have been around.

Now it's like
she won't even look at me.

It's like I'm you.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hi, Jerry, you all right?
You're still
in the mix, right?

No, no, no, I didn't forget.
I can come over now.

No, I can take...
Okay, I'll take your order
on the phone.

(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES)

Okay, right.

Tuna, mustard, gluten-free
tuna wrap. Right, yeah.

Onion, lettuce, kale chips.

-Ah, there it is.
-You want onion
on the tuna wrap?

Okay. Diet energy drink, yeah?

-Taurine, no guarine...
-Thought you
were the food Nazi.

Decaf soya milk.
And one Toblerone.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, heavy on the Tobes.

No, it's not funny,
you're right. Okay.

Right. I've got to go.

Jerry turns into the Red Hulk
when he's hypoglycaemic.

Remember, you guys have
only got till 2:00, okay?

I mean, she finds every way
to try and humiliate me.

The other day
she tried to do me
with a strap-on.

-She ever do that to you?
-(SCOFFS)

No, although I've heard
it's not actually that bad.

And that
the prostate is quite

an under-appreciated organ.

But, yeah. Strap-ons, lame.

ERROL:
What're you talking about?

Errol, uh, we're not
talking about anything.

I hate it when you do that!
I'm nearly 14 now,
I can take it. I'm ready.

A strap-on's a dildo that
women will strap on
like a belt

in order to have sex
with other women
and sometimes men.

-I wasn't ready.
-What are you
doing here anyway?

Hugo's just gone to
get Jerry's lunch.

He says that
time's running out. Why would
you use it on a man?

Because it feels great.

You know, apparently.

Wait, are you saying a man...

Can stick it up his arse
if he thinks I'm
going to apologise!

You know, sometimes
I imagine cutting his cock
into little coins

-to relax myself.
-Ow.

It's just so intense.

I mean, he makes the sex
go on for hours
just for the ego of it.

It's boring, you know?

That's so boring.
Back off, Sting.

I feel like I'm
being bitten by

a pit bull and I
can't shake it off.

I heard the best way to stop
a pit bull biting you is to

stick your finger
up its bum.

So maybe you should
just stick your finger
up the bum of life.

Yeah, I'm not even going
to take my rings off.

Next time I see Casper,
I'm definitely breaking
up with him.

Cool. Um, so...

Are you any good
at sexting?

'Cause I've got this...

-(TAPPING ON PHONE)
-CASPER: Babe?

(GUITAR STRUMMING)

Well, I wish I could say
it's been a pleasure.

ANDY: The feeling's mutual.

Boo! So what did I miss?

Just about to
kick this lot out

and then finish
off the lyrics,

record the guitar,
go home and...

Where are my lyrics?

Don't look at me.
Mossad, remember.

I may have written
Jerry's lunch order
on the back of them.

And where are they now?

-In a bin, on the High Street.
-Hugo!

Shh. Jerry!

Oh, is it a bad time
to tell you I had
a major brainwave?

I think this tune
could do with some rhythm
guitar to really

fatten up the strings.

ANDY:
I don't want fat strings!

I'm looking for that lo-fi
singer-song-writery vibe.

(COUGHS) Coffee shop.

Yeah, and not even Starbucks.

-Kind of agree, mate.
-Yeah, me too.

Nobody asked you!

And I've not
got time to record

the guitar and
write new lyrics.

-Gwen could do it.
-(SCOFFS)

Oh. You're being serious.
Gwen can't play guitar.

We met in a guitar shop.

Yeah. You were there
picking up musicians.

But I was also
buying a guitar.

No deal. Girls can't shred.

Uh, What? How about
Lita Ford,

Joan Jett,
Courtney Love, Charo?

Oh, I love Charo.

Nancy Wilson. Kim Deal.

Kim Deal's a bassist. That is
an official girl's instrument.

All right, you don't want
a girl on your track,

maybe I'll just delete
my girlie bass?

(SIGHS)

-And the key is?
-It's in E.

Wouldn't it sound
better in C?

Well, we've already
recorded all the other
instruments in E,

haven't we, genius?

Well, C is a more
commercial key.

Yeah, if you're Katy Perry.

Hey, don't diss Katy.

Gwen thinks Blink-182
is a punk band.

(LAUGHING)

Oi, shut up, dick face.

Well, thank you all
for playing, everyone.

I'll always be
eternally grateful,

now if you'll all
kindly fuck off.

(EXHALES)

What, what now?

I think it needs live drums.

But you said it needed
a more electronic beat

to make it sound
"dope" and "fresh".

Yeah, but now it
sounds a little too EDM.

-Needs to be more analogue.
-(ANDY GROANS)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello? Okay.

Jerry's coming, please,
everyone hide,
right now, please.

What do you not understand
about get me a Toblerone?

Is there spunk
between your ears?

-No, Jerry.
-Everyone knows when
Jerry's done with lunch,

Jerry eats fuckin' Toblerone!

I don't care whatever fuckwit
excuse you come up with.

If it happens again, I'm gonna
staple your balls to the wall,

shit down your throat and then
stick a Grammy up your ass,

because who cares,
I've got so many of them,

and then, I'll fire you!

What about my word?

You never go back
on your word, Jerry.

Fuck right, I don't.
Get it together, Hugo!

You insignificant
needle-dick prick!

You should have heard him
when I forgot his Twiglets.

If you want live drums,
you can have live drums.

Where are we
gonna find a drummer
at such short notice?

Are you sure
you can do this?

I was playing in punk bands
before you got
your first period.

Any I've heard of?

Screaming Vaginas.
Face Kick. Piss.
Stiletto Testicle Smashers.

Iron Lung. Mandy Boy.

That one was new wave.

So, what is this
song called?

It's called Last Place Hero.

Ugh, sounds like Bon Jovi.

-ERROL: Who are Bon Jovi?
-They're the strap-ons
of music.

-Still got it.
-All right, you've got
about 30 minutes

to get these vocals nailed.

I hope these great lyrics
are ready to go, Uncle Andy.

(GIGGLING)

Mum, stop giggling or
I'm going to throw your phone!

Is that what I've raised?
A phone thrower? Wow!

-Give it to me.
-Guys, not now.

No. I'm an adult.
It's my business who I text.

You're sleeping with him,
aren't you?

And what if I am? Just because
you came out of my vagina,

it doesn't mean you can
control who goes in it!

Shh! Jerry.

-Shall we go?
-Are you kidding? This is just
starting to get good.

You don't even
know this guy, he could be
a serial killer. Or worse.

-Vegan.
-Will you shut up?

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!

Between Sid and Nancy there,

and Hugo
with your fat guitars,

and Sam with your sexting,
seriously! You're almost 40.

Have phone sex with the man
like an adult!

I mean, Jesus Christ, Val,
I mean, you're all right.

But you,
why don't you just let

your mum get on
with her own

love life instead of
interfering all the time?

If she wants to
get serial killed,
it's up to her.

You dragged me out of my
deathbed to come here

and all you've done
is screwed with me.

All day long! Do you know
what you are? You're a...

(SOUND SWITCHES OFF)

(INDISTINCT)

-He's just lost it, hasn't he?
-Hmm.

ANDY: ...and try
and do anything! You...

(SOUND SWITCHES OFF)

Are you finished?

36 is not almost 40.
And I'm not
the one wearing a onesie.

Last Place Hero,
vocal, take one.

(MUSIC PLAYS)

(HOARSE VOICE)
* Last place hero...

(CLEARS THROAT)

HUGO: Good start.

* Last place...

* Last place...

Stop looking at me!

I can do it.
Just give me a minute.

(CLEARS THROAT)

He...

He...

He...

Hero...

He sounds like a chainsaw
fucking another chainsaw.

(BLOWS NOSE)

That was just a practice.
I'll get it next time.

Who'd have thought
one day we'd be hanging
out like this, eh?

You don't need to
cheer me up, Val.

I need the fresh air.

Plus your sister wouldn't
stop bothering me
about her texts.

-I've got the flu.
-I've had the jab.

Doesn't taste of anything.

It's better than that
Nicotine gum, though.

-That stuff just
gave me a temper.
-You? No way.

You know, I was
a pretty good musician.

Could have made
a decent living out of it.

Then the last band,
the manager quit,
so I started booking gigs,

and then I was
managing events in
clubs and now,

I have my own club.

What's your point?

There's more than one way
to be a star, Andy.

Nice jumpsuit, by the way.

(GWEN SINGING INDISTINCTLY)

* You look behind

* You've constantly
been overlapped

* I raise my hat

* I'm impressed
that you really ran
with being crap *

Sorry. Just messing about.

Oh, shit, not this again.

Gwen, will you
do me the honour

of singing lead
vocals on my song?

Only if we use Errol's lyrics.

Well, Roly? What do you say?

Okay.

Only on one condition.

I can't believe
I'm doing this.

Shh. I need
complete silence.

Guys, you know you've only
got seven minutes to
get this vocal.

-Just saying.
-SAM: This reminds me
of my NA meetings.

-Oh, which one do you go to?
-Quaker Centre, Notting Hill.

Oh, I've been there.
Good crowd.

-Yeah, they're...
-Guys!

Dear corpse of famed American
astronomer, Carl Sagan.

Please bless us
with the organic
molecules that have been

released from your
desiccated remains.

Look over the studio,
poor gentle Hugo and
Gwen's beautiful vocals

and my amazing lyrics,
to help this song shine.

And Uncle Andy can get
everything that he deserves.
Nothing.

Mossad, bitch!

Errol! What are you doing?

If you won't let me play
on my own track,

I'm going to delete
the whole project on three.

-Roly, darling,
just calm down.
-One...

-He doesn't know how to
delete the project.
-Two...

No! You said you were
going to go on three!

Well, I went on two.

Oh, hi,
is this the right room?

Sorry, we're just wrapping up
in here. Thanks.

This was supposed
to be our fun day and
you made it all about you!

Not everything
wants keyboards, Errol.

Not every single song, Errol.

Am I right? I'm right, guys.

It worked for the Beach Boys.

-And The Cure.
-And Deep Purple.

-New Order.
-Floyd.

The Doors.

CASPER:
That is so effed-up, man.

All your nephew wanted
was to play with his uncle.

Shame on you.

But I'm sick!

You're right, man.
You are sick.

Shit.

I'm sorry, Errol.

If I could re-record it
with you, I would.

But what can I do?
We're out of time.

Look, you've got
five minutes left.

Couldn't you just record
the whole thing live?

Sam, it...

That's a great idea.

Good luck, dickheads!

I'm sorry for
trashing the project.
I hope this turns out good.

Don't worry about good.
Just try and have fun.

Right, this song's in C.
On your cue, Val.

* We're always told
it's all about the taking part

* Well, woop-dee-doo
and well done, you

* You took that
sentiment to heart

* You lag behind

* You've constantly
been overlapped

* I raise my hat

* I'm impressed that
you've really
ran with being crap

-* Last place hero
-* Here we go again,
here we go again

* You're perfect again

* Coming last again

* You can't know again

* You're on show again

* Feeling low again
Acting real slow again

-* Last place hero
-* You offend again,
can't pretend again

* Still regrets again

* Getting your revenge again

* You're really slumming it

* You're really
slumming it now

* But you should know that
you're the best at being you

* The pity is how shitty is
everything you fuckin' do

* We're all wrong
and you're
the only one that's right

* You've tried your best

* You failed the test
surrounded in
your self-made shite

* Can't afford your heating
'cause your money's
always spent

* Scraping every penny
'cause you're always
low on rent

* You're so
good at slumming it
that you could be the coach

* Had the winning ticket
but you've used it for a roach

* Always missing birthdays
and you're never there
on time

* Living like you're 20
even though
you're past your prime

* Last place, last place

* Everyone should just admit
you're absolutely
smashing it now *

-Oh!
-What?

It didn't record.

Only kidding. Yeah!

-JERRY: Hugo!
-Jerry's going to kill me.

-(BANGING ON DOOR)
-VAL: We won't
let him, kid.

No, you know
you don't understand.

Jerry's really strong!
He does cross-fit.

Who the fuck are these people?

We're The Bear Maximum.

That's the dumbest name
I've ever heard.

Hugo, I'm going to punch
your teeth out through
your dick,

but first, you're fired.

No! You can't do that.
He's a good kid.

And he's good at his job.

(COUGHING)

-What's wrong with him?
-He's got the flu.

What's the matter, Jerry?
Haven't had the jab?

Jerry doesn't
believe in vaccines.

It'd be a shame
to get you sick.

Just stay away from me.

-Then give Hugo his job back!
-No, get away! Fuck off.

(COUGHING)

You don't know
where I've been, Jerry.

You don't know what
I've been through in there.

(COUGHING)

Just stop! Okay, yes!

He can have his job back.
Whatever you say.

Do you swear it, Jerry?
Do you swear it?

Yes! You have my word.
Just stop.

(COUGHS)

That's the grossest thing
anyone's ever done for me.

Bet you're glad I haven't had
the jab now, aren't you?

-Where...
-SAM: We brought
you home

after you passed out.

Well, Val and Casper
carried you. I watched.

You feeling better?

Mmm.

I'll get you some
more paracetamol.

Did you submit the song?

Hugo's still mixing it.
I'll do it in a few days.

But the deadline's tomorrow!

No, I just said that
to get you out of bed.

You know,
I've thought about it

and I will take your guitar
up Mount Everest
if you really want.

-You'd do that?
-Yeah.

I will need 15 years
of mountaineering
lessons first.

So, don't die before that.

(KETTLE WHISTLES)

Oh, the tea!

Here you go, prick.

Look, it's probably
none of my business,
but if you're going to

get serious with this guy,
you should probably tell him.

(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES)

Yeah, you're right.

It's none of your business.

(LINE RINGING)

MAN: Sam, you naughty girl.
You want to get
kinky on the phone?

Sam?

Hello? Sam?

Sam?