Original subtitles

[grunts]

Hold all my calls.

[giggling]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

♪ Change my diaper, son, where's my bib? ♪

♪ Don't pacify, you just got to pay me ♪

-♪ Who's in charge? ♪ -♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

[Tim imitates French accent] I had rescued the captive,

but the woman was hot on our tail.

You'll never escape me!

Hang left!

-[tires screech] -[Boss Baby gasps]

[all laughing]

-[horn honks] -[both gasp, scream]

-[man yells] -[screaming continues]

-[horn honks] -[tires screeching]

[both grunt]

Croque-monsieur , she's gaining on us!

Do it, Templeton! It's time.

[button beeps]

[whirring]

[tires screech]

-Better? -Le best!

-Stop! Stop! -We can't stop, she'll--

-[tires screech] -[Tim grunts]

What the heck? What is it?

Have you seen anything like it?

-"Plushythingy"? Sounds dumb. -Name's irrelevant.

We're standing in the presence of great business.

A stuffed animal with a dumb name?

Perfect engineering!

That fluff, those eyes.

The ears alone can make you believe there's a better world,

and you belong in it.

[baby panting]

See what I mean?

[baby whines]

[coos, cries]

This is a toy that will alter the entire baby industry. Whoa!

Aha!

I caught you.

And now, off to my hideout,

where you'll be interrogated by ice cream!

No! I'm powerless against brain freeze.

Prepare yourself for the big guns: mint chocolate chip.

-[screams] -[both chuckle]

Round, but not too round.

Relatable, but not without self-respect.

-[chuckles] Probably great at parties. -[Tim scoffs]

-Why are you looking at me like that? -You want that toy.

It's no mere toy.

Plushythingy transcends supply and demand.

It creates a hole in your life that didn't exist before.

Stop looking at me!

You love it.

I respect it.

Look, I've been there. When I was a little kid,

I saw a commercial for this Kentucky Outlaw Police Chase slot car set.

Two tracks, a Thunder Comet Loop that went upside down.

I thought if I got it, it'd make me happy forever.

Yes, I know where this is going.

"Money can't buy happiness..." Blah, blah.

When I got it, I was happy forever.

Until the track got ruined when the basement flooded.

There it is.

It was all gone. Kentucky Outlaw car, police car...

[siren wails, distorts]

Thunder Comet Loop.

-You want that Plushythingy? -Yes!

Uh, for research purposes.

Then we are going to get you that Plushythingy.

But how to convince Mom and Dad. If only I had a birthday coming up.

Pfft! Birthdays are for amateurs.

I know how we'll get them, but we gotta be subtle.

Huh. A thing.

Ugh. What the milk?

Hmm. A thing.

Ah! A thing!

[screaming]

We're out of toilet paper!

[Tim chuckles, echoing]

Tim's at a fun age, isn't he?

I'd get up to take it off, but, honestly, I can't muster the energy.

-Tim! Get in here right-- -[Tim] Oh!

Hello, Father, Mother.

Wouldn't be in the mood for some toy shopping, would you?

-Huh? -[Mom sighs]

-Is it...? -Oh, yeah.

-Mount St. Janice is gonna blow! -[roars]

Wow! Mom knows a lot of bad words.

It was a good effort, Templeton.

But maybe look up "subtle" while you're in there.

If you want, you can play with Football Mike.

He knows touchdown karate.

Hup, hup, kee-aw!

Thanks, but if it's all the same to you,

I just wanna take a bottle in my crib and--

[Gigi] Psst!

When I was a kid, it was a Gilly Ann doll with eyes that opened and shut.

Mama thought that made her tawdry.

-[gasps] -What are grandparents for

but to undermine parents here and there?

-[cooing] -[chuckles]

-[Mom clears her throat] -Oh! Hello, Janice.

-Aw. You bought the thing. -[Boss Baby giggles]

How sweet.

-[Boss Baby] Staci, Jimbo. -What about Tim?

-Shh! -As summer break winds down,

he insists on watching as much television as possible.

Anyway, he's not our demographic. I assume you've each procured the product?

This toy represents a momentous opportunity for Baby Corp.

Happy babies equal cute babies.

And who doesn't love cute babies?

Don't answer. Nobody!

Baby love will skyrocket, along with our careers.

Who wants a fancy job title?

Vice President of Making People Feel Good About Themselves.

I call Regional Distributor of Butt-Kickings!

-Neat title, Staci! -Thanks!

See how great I'd be?

-Guys! It's your toy! -♪ Fluffy, fuzzy, lovely ♪

-♪ Snuggly, comfy, cuddly Plushythingy ♪ -Look! You're famous!

[man] Do your parents love you?

-[giggles] -Are you sure?

Well, now you can find out.

Just ask them to buy you Plushythingy.

[cooing]

Your parents must love you very much.

[baby giggling]

This is the greatest commercial I've ever seen.

What ad genius came up with this?

-[man 2] ♪ Brought to you by... ♪ -[man] The Consortium of Ancients.

[man 2] ♪ LLC ♪

For babies!

-[all scream] -[Staci gasps]

Boss! You don't think there's something wrong with Plushythingy?

Take that back!

What's the game here, Estes?

I want a full product analysis. No surprises.

Looks like we're gonna be spending a lot of time together, Plushythingy.

Okay, kid, why don't you tell me about yourself?

[coos]

[coos]

[chuckles] Peekaboo!

Wait, something's not right.

Oh.

[laughing]

[giggling]

And remember, never trust anyone who doesn't tea party.

Looking at you, Mr. Fuzz Guts!

[gasps] Those are some crazy secrets, Plushythingy.

Wanna hear mine?

Good night, Plushythingy.

Tomorrow, I'll teach you how to tie a constrictor knot.

I was a fool for ever doubting you.

You make me a better businessman.

I trust you both had as productive a night of research as I did.

I discovered that Plushythingy is my best friend.

He's right, Boss. There's nothing wrong with Plushythingy.

In fact, mine's a cuddle bug who taught me how to love again!

-[squeals] -"Cuddle bug"? "Friend"?

Can we please keep this professional?

Beauregard B. Plushy and I have formed a lucrative partnership.

What's that, Bobo? We should take five for a cuddle break?

You heard the man!

-[all cooing] -Hold on.

You guys found out your new archenemy made those toys,

and you're not doing anything?

Of course we are. I said we'd get to the bottom of this.

Full investigation, appropriate vengeance, standard package deal.

But surely you don't think we should take this out on our Plushythingies?

Look at these clearly innocent faces.

-But-- -Shh!

Don't listen to the bad man, Bobo. I know your heart.

-[Gigi] Flip it to Channel 8. -[all gasp]

That old gossip bag Adele Goldfarb said Frederic's on the news!

-I was watching commercials. -[Adele] ... plush toy craze...

The savvy senior behind the hottest baby toy in town-- Frederic Estes. [yelps]

Hello, television. It's Frederic.

Yeah, I invented your baby's Plush-a-doodle,

whatever bushwa name we gave it.

So, turns out that toy has some dangerous design flaws.

Oopsie.

It's just your typical manufacturing kerfuffles--

rusty nails in the stuffing,

-the fur can give kiddos paper cuts... -[gasps]

...exposed high-voltage wires...

Oh, my.

...bursts into chemical flame when exposed to human saliva,

emits an odor that causes hair loss,

prolonged eye contact makes children go blind.

Blah, blah, et cetera.

Should our viewers feel like terrible parents

and/or grandparents for buying such a horrific toy?

[coos]

Heavens, no, because my company is gonna make this right,

by taking them all back.

Right now!

-[doorbell rings] -[gasps] No!

-Mrs. Templeton. -Mrs. Fardy.

Enough small talk. I'm here for Plushythingy.

-Ah! -[all gasping]

There's that death trap.

-Ha! Gimme! -Hey!

You can't just take a baby's toy like that.

It's my duty.

And a Fardy takes her duties seriously.

-[crying] -[laughs]

Fardy duties. Sorry. Not the moment.

So, do we get a refund, or--?

[screams] He's got a taste for human flesh!

Gigi, do something!

-[crying continues] -[both grunting]

-[wailing] -[growls]

Chop, chop, Fardy. Just grab and go.

Take the toys, all the toys.

Don't let them sway you with their big, sniffly baby faces.

-[knock on door] -[doorbell rings]

-[cries] -[Frederic] Faster!

Faster!

Sorry for your loss, little baby.

-Sorry, kiddo. -[whimpers]

You think this was the plan?

Make babies fall in love with the toys just so he could take them away?

I will avenge you, Bobo.

And then I said, "I did write my name on it, Steve."

And then Steve said, "Oh, are you calling me a yogurt stealer?"

So I said, "Yeah, I guess I am, Steve."

Then guess what I did to his filing cabinet.

[Mom] What's wrong with the baby?

His new toy got recalled, and he's depressed.

Whoa-oh. [gasps]

You know who feeds on sad babies?

The neck fart monster!

[blows raspberries]

Wow. Nothing. What do we do, Ted?

I don't know. But do you know who would?

Dr. Tickle!

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

[blows raspberry]

Oh, no! Spittle makes Dr. Tickle melt like a banana splittle!

[chuckles] I love Dr. Tickle!

Glad someone does. Tough crowd.

He'll be fine. We just need to get his toy back.

Oh, honey, by now, I'm sure all the toys have been destroyed.

-[whimpers, crying] -Whoa!

Sounds like a thirsty baby.

You want some milk?

[gasps] My yogurt!

Oh. I gotta call Steve before he looks in his filing cabinet.

Look at you all. [clicks tongue]

[huffs] Don't you have a TV to watch?

You know, when I lost my slot car track--

Ugh. Again with the slot car track.

I thought I'd never laugh again.

And I never did.

For a long time. But you wanna know what helped?

Jokes. [clears throat]

What do you call a pork chop?

A pig that does karate!

[chuckles]

Oh, wait. I got it mixed up.

[gasps, grunts]

My comedy career!

Where's Jimbo?

[muffled laughter] Right here, where I've been the whole time.

-[snorting] -Is it just me,

or does Jimbo suddenly seem happier?

What? I'm not happy.

[chuckling]

He's so happy he can't stand it.

-He came from there, behind the sofa. -[Jimbo] No!

Jimbo, I swear, if there's a kitten behind that couch...

Yes, it is a kitten.

Meow!

Plushythingy!

But how?

Can I hold it, Jimbo? Jimbo? Jimbo? Can I hold it?

-Jimbo, can I hold it? Jimbo. -Turn her off! She's scaring me!

Can I hold it? Jimbo? Now!

Forget her, Jimbo. I'm the boss. I get first cuddle.

[whimpering]

-Jimbo, I'm ordering you to-- -Ha!

-Oh! -[cackling]

[yelps, grunts]

-Ha! [panting] -Oof!

[all grunting]

Stop!

Would you look at yourselves?

Tripping, fighting, hitting... Spitting, Staci?

I should call the old people right now

and tell them they missed one Plushythingy.

No! Stop him!

-Ah! -[all grunting]

Guys!

Gag him! We'll stow him in the basement till the heat cools off.

Don't you see yourselves? You're--

[muffled grunting]

Wait, wait. Stop. He has a point. Go on, Templeton.

[grunting continues]

Hmm. Well spoken. What's worse than no toys for any baby?

One toy that all babies want!

-[grunting continues] -[Staci gasps]

Tim's right! Frederic knew we'd tear each other apart over this.

What Tim said!

So there's only one solution.

-I should take it. -But I'll just die without it.

And my ghost will haunt your posterity for seven generations!

[all grunting]

You're missing the point. This is exactly what he wants.

As long as this exists, the team is doomed.

Then, who's gonna fight for babies?

There's only one thing we can do.

Destroy Plushythingy or it will destroy us.

But not at all me. Just the three of you. It's the toy or the team.

Make the call.

Jimbo, send it off honorably.

[grunts]

-[grunts] -You've got to let go, Jimbo.

-[grunts] I'm trying. I can't! -I got this.

-[inhales, exhales] -[whimpers]

Just close my eyes, pretend I'm back in daycare

and Braden just took the good carpet square.

[yells]

My body won't let me!

I have too many feelings!

Fine. I'll do it.

[yells]

Uh...

Boss.

What is wrong with you babies?

Templeton, what do you think you're doing?

Bon voyage, sailor.

Shh!

-Do you hear that? -What?

The sound of your old Kentucky Outlaw slot car, vrooming down the track.

-[whispers] I can hear it! -But wait!

What's that rumbling noise? The water!

Templeton, it's so cold!

The basement rats are singing a funeral dirge.

[vocalizing]

Your toy didn't deserve that, and neither does this one.

[yells]

Now, if all of us can just come together and form a rational solution,

-this whole thing-- -Couldn't agree more! Ha!

[all grunting]

-Timmy! -Gigi!

There's my Bobo back.

BB, hide the toy!

Okay, Dumpy Sad Face,

time to flip that frown with a Gigi car ride.

Tim, find my keys. You're coming, too.

-[both growling] -The perfect escape.

Together forever, miles away from any other baby.

Ta-da!

Look at all these other babies.

I didn't think it was possible,

but she's even worse when she tries to be nice.

If this joint can't get your baby spirits up,

I don't know what will.

Have fun, boys. I'll be in the grown-up lounge.

Templeton, we have to get out of here.

I remember this place.

Free advice: stay away from the ball pit.

-[shrieks] -[chomps]

If any baby sees what I've got behind my back, I'm applesauce.

Maybe you should have thought of that before you, um, got a toy?

No, shoot. There must be a lesson here.

[cooing]

[sniffing, cooing]

[Boss Baby gasps]

[sniffing]

-[giggling] -He's on to us!

-Templeton, put this in your shirt! -What? Hey!

He knows everything. We'll have to take him out.

What? He's a baby.

-[coos] -Shh.

He'll alert the whole place. You have to silence him!

Seriously? No!

I just mean put a bottle in his mouth.

Oh.

-He doesn't have a bottle. -Then create a diversion.

No one can see what I have-- [grunts] Oh!

[metal squeaks]

-Templeton, help me! -[giggling]

He can't take that much love!

He's very poorly built!

My armpits! It tickles!

-[chuckles] I can't keep arms up! -Here!

[laughing]

[sighs] Ah!

[grunts, chuckles]

-[cooing] -[gasps]

[gasping, grunting]

Ah! [grunts]

Ah!

Boss, throw it here!

-No way! -What's worse? Jimbo takes it,

or it gets torn to shreds by this drooling, toy-crazed mob?

Oh!

-[babies clamoring] -[Boss Baby grunting]

[grunts, screams]

-[all cooing] -[Jimbo whimpering]

[gasps]

[whimpering, gasps]

Jimbo, I'm open!

-[grunting] -[Staci grunts]

[grunts]

See you on the other side, babies.

Sorry, Stace. [grunts]

For Plushythingy! Ah!

[panting]

-Banzai! -[Boss Baby grunts]

[slurps] Ginger ale! And keep the free refills coming!

[thumps]

[thuds]

-[grunts] -[all clamoring]

Sorry, babies, the fighting will never end as long as Plushythingy exists.

Wait!

Yeah!

[yells]

[grunts, groans]

[gasps]

Templeton, what are you doing?

Those sharks will tear it apart in seconds!

[chomping]

It must be destroyed!

Triplets, it's time.

Is that the toy?

I love it so much!

Trade you either one of my brothers for it!

Hey!

-No, that's fair. -[Boss Baby grunts]

I was afraid it might come to this,

so I had the triplets bring in an old friend of yours

to help teach an important business lesson.

You know what separates those on bottom from those on top?

Leverage.

[gasps] The Thunder Comet Loop.

Picture it, just the two Templeton boys with the toys that make them happiest.

We'll never know sadness, loneliness, boredom ever again.

Simply hand me Plushythingy,

then you get the car set, we take the zip-line down to Gigi,

and we leave with everything our hearts have ever wanted.

What do you say, brother?

[all cooing]

[chomping]

I'm sorry.

[slo-mo] No!

[grunts]

[cooing, chomping]

-[cooing] -[grunts]

[normal voice] Come on, fella, give it back.

I'll give you visitations every other weekend.

We just want to keep it in the family!

Forget it, you guys.

You have to learn to let it go.

I just saw my dream toy busted, for the second time in my life.

And you know what? No big deal.

Let the kid have it.

[giggling]

-Nope, still want it! -[woman] Simon, time to go home!

Guys, seriously, let it go!

This is the lesson.

If you really love something, you have to--

-[sizzling] -[all scream]

Holy smokes!

It really does burst into chemical flame when exposed to human saliva.

-[shouts] -[all scream]

Die, abomination! Die! Die!

Uh, you were in the middle of a lesson, Templeton?

Ugh. Who cares? Let's go home.

I can't believe Gigi bought this for us!

She really knows how to brighten our day

after we were almost burned alive in a fire sparked by my own foolishness.

Two loops! Who knew there could be two loops?

Are you sure you're okay, about Plushythingy and everything?

Never been better, Templeton.

Now... [yawns] If you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna turn in.

Mr. Charrington.

Something tells me you and I will be in business forever.

-I knew it! -No! No! [grunts]

-Templeton! Let me have this one thing! -Let go!

[fabric tears]

-[Boss Baby] Ah! Rusty nails! -[Tim] Don't touch the high-voltage wires!

-[Boss Baby] Rest in peace, Bobo! -[Tim] Run!

[fire flares]

[theme song playing]

♪ Boss Baby ♪