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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:02,328 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:42,767 Looks like mom has been here... 3 00:00:44,034 --> 00:00:46,037 always with the expected. 4 00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:08,425 Seems like it was just 5 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,026 the last day of third grade 6 00:01:10,059 --> 00:01:13,731 when we started our tradition of ice cream 7 00:01:13,763 --> 00:01:15,198 and a trip to the museum. 8 00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:20,971 How crazy that it's the last day of tenth 9 00:01:21,005 --> 00:01:24,208 and you aren't here. 10 00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:27,144 How are you? 11 00:01:28,645 --> 00:01:32,049 Kind of an unusual spot. 12 00:01:32,082 --> 00:01:35,786 Or do you spend a lot of time in cemeteries? 13 00:01:37,153 --> 00:01:38,688 Yeah. 14 00:01:38,722 --> 00:01:41,659 Dead people don't ask you how you're doing all the time. 15 00:02:06,216 --> 00:02:09,018 Anyway, sounds like I'm off to Mimi 16 00:02:09,052 --> 00:02:11,022 and Papa's for the summer. 17 00:02:12,856 --> 00:02:15,760 I would rather be anywhere else. 18 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:28,071 I can't believe I won't be able to visit you every day. 19 00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:23,419 Yeah, it's totally not creepy 20 00:04:23,452 --> 00:04:25,187 that you're just sitting here all by yourself 21 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,757 staring at everyone. 22 00:04:27,791 --> 00:04:29,125 Wanna join us? 23 00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,262 Come on! 24 00:04:35,298 --> 00:04:37,034 Molly's trying so hard 25 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:40,002 to include me... and, no, 26 00:04:40,036 --> 00:04:42,139 I still have nothing in common 27 00:04:42,171 --> 00:04:44,808 with Shelley and the Karens, 28 00:04:44,841 --> 00:04:47,611 even though we've been in school together forever. 29 00:04:47,644 --> 00:04:49,245 Hey, kids. What's the latest? 30 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,382 We were just discussing our fabulous summer plans. 31 00:04:52,416 --> 00:04:54,317 Joey, does your family still go 32 00:04:54,351 --> 00:04:55,786 to the San River every summer? 33 00:04:55,819 --> 00:04:57,754 Oh, my mom's on this book tour this year, 34 00:04:57,786 --> 00:04:59,222 so we probably won't make it. 35 00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,291 So, you're just going to hang out with your pops then? 36 00:05:01,325 --> 00:05:02,659 Shut up, Shelley! 37 00:05:03,993 --> 00:05:08,332 No, I'm the girl whose dad died, remember? 38 00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:13,002 So, you're really going to abandon me this summer? 39 00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:14,838 Marissa is the one abandoning me 40 00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:16,139 for her stupid book tour. 41 00:05:16,173 --> 00:05:18,743 My dad's body is practically still warm. 42 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,312 - Too dark? - A little. 43 00:05:22,346 --> 00:05:26,884 Hey, congrats on those stellar PSAT scores! 44 00:05:26,916 --> 00:05:28,184 You'll be writing your own ticket to college 45 00:05:28,217 --> 00:05:30,620 - if you keep that chiz up. - Thank you, Mr. Gately. 46 00:05:30,654 --> 00:05:32,822 You guys joining the other kids for the big tailgater? 47 00:05:32,856 --> 00:05:34,057 Yeah, I'm not really 48 00:05:34,091 --> 00:05:36,327 in the mood for date rape tonight, so... 49 00:05:37,861 --> 00:05:39,296 Okay, well, have a great summer. 50 00:05:39,329 --> 00:05:42,299 Thanks, Mr. Gately. Too dark? 51 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:47,671 So, you're going to the party with me tonight? 52 00:05:47,704 --> 00:05:49,105 You are the worst best friend ever. 53 00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:50,373 You're gonna love me for it. 54 00:05:50,406 --> 00:05:52,675 Aaron's gonna be there, and he and I are, like, 55 00:05:52,709 --> 00:05:54,310 meant to be together forever. 56 00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:57,380 I wouldn't want to interfere with destiny. 57 00:05:57,413 --> 00:06:00,116 - See you later. - Right. Bye. 58 00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:06,122 Like you said, the best day of school 59 00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:08,259 is the last day of school. 60 00:06:14,365 --> 00:06:16,433 Not exactly thrilled 61 00:06:16,466 --> 00:06:19,336 to be hanging out with the old folks this summer, 62 00:06:19,368 --> 00:06:22,672 but at least I won't be here. 63 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,218 Mom? 64 00:06:36,385 --> 00:06:37,987 Marissa? 65 00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:48,666 Is there a dinner? 66 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:51,168 Dinner? Right. Um, Pizza? 67 00:06:52,902 --> 00:06:55,104 - Again? - No dishes. 68 00:06:55,137 --> 00:06:57,007 I really want to come home to a clean house. 69 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:59,009 Great! I'm not hungry. 70 00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:01,212 - Are you packed? - Thinking about it. 71 00:07:11,255 --> 00:07:13,055 Anything else? 72 00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:14,892 I put a fresh bouquet on Daddy's grave today. 73 00:07:14,925 --> 00:07:16,026 I know. 74 00:07:18,327 --> 00:07:20,029 Oh, you took the flowers out of the vase? 75 00:07:20,063 --> 00:07:21,230 Is that a problem? 76 00:07:21,264 --> 00:07:22,733 Well, they won't last as long. 77 00:07:22,765 --> 00:07:23,900 If you wanted them to last long, 78 00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:25,668 you wouldn't have cut them. 79 00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:26,969 Well, we're not going to be here 80 00:07:27,003 --> 00:07:28,037 to enjoy them this summer. 81 00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,805 So, I thought Daddy might like them. 82 00:07:29,839 --> 00:07:31,875 As if Daddy can even see them. 83 00:07:34,978 --> 00:07:36,781 - What are you doing? - Packing. 84 00:07:38,882 --> 00:07:40,283 Well, what are you looking for? 85 00:07:40,317 --> 00:07:41,952 Sweatshirt. 86 00:07:41,985 --> 00:07:44,221 Molly and I are going out tonight. 87 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,089 When are you going to be home? 88 00:07:46,123 --> 00:07:49,692 The question isn't when, dear Carissa, it's if. 89 00:07:57,767 --> 00:08:00,136 Oh, my God. He's coming over here. 90 00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:03,273 Act like I just said something really funny. 91 00:08:03,307 --> 00:08:04,674 I know, right? 92 00:08:04,707 --> 00:08:06,844 Hi Molly, having a good night? 93 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,146 Hi Aaron. You know Joey, right? 94 00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:11,347 Yeah. We had chem together, right? 95 00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,082 I'm surprised you remember. 96 00:08:13,115 --> 00:08:14,952 You never said a single word to me. 97 00:08:19,022 --> 00:08:21,425 So, who wants a drink? 98 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,392 I'd love one, thanks. 99 00:08:23,425 --> 00:08:25,795 Okay. 100 00:08:25,829 --> 00:08:27,364 BRB. 101 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,834 - Better stay right there. - I promise I won't leave. 102 00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:33,803 Is this seat taken? 103 00:08:33,836 --> 00:08:35,904 Yeah, Molly's coming right back. 104 00:08:35,939 --> 00:08:37,107 Are you sure about that? 105 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,742 To the best summer ever. 106 00:08:40,209 --> 00:08:42,045 You know, You're not the only one 107 00:08:42,079 --> 00:08:43,880 who doesn't like coming at these. 108 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,815 Do I fill my nose? 109 00:08:45,849 --> 00:08:47,917 Yeah, they look miserable. 110 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:54,156 Aaron, this is a total no-fun zone, 111 00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:56,093 - come back to the party! - All right. 112 00:08:57,426 --> 00:08:59,195 Sorry about your dad, Joey. 113 00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:06,770 Peace out, bitches. 114 00:09:16,646 --> 00:09:18,248 Joey, stop that. 115 00:09:19,248 --> 00:09:20,315 What will people think? 116 00:09:20,349 --> 00:09:22,185 Dad would have thought that was funny. 117 00:09:31,328 --> 00:09:32,897 You ready? 118 00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,735 Thank you. 119 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,693 Mom? Dad? 120 00:10:03,727 --> 00:10:06,730 You came through my vagina. You can come through the door. 121 00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:11,133 We discovered juicing. That's good. 122 00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,368 - There my girls! - Hey Joseph! 123 00:10:13,402 --> 00:10:15,904 - Hi Papa! - Sweetie! 124 00:10:15,939 --> 00:10:17,674 Power boost for the road! 125 00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:20,075 Beets, kale and pinch of psyllium husk. 126 00:10:20,108 --> 00:10:22,046 What? It's good for the colon. 127 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,414 I hope your seated on the aisle. 128 00:10:24,446 --> 00:10:26,182 So you're coming with us, Joey? 129 00:10:26,215 --> 00:10:28,417 I'm not a fan of airport goodbyes. 130 00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:30,954 I'll check in with you when I get to JFK, all right? 131 00:10:34,157 --> 00:10:35,090 I'm at a loss. 132 00:10:35,123 --> 00:10:37,795 Don't worry, we'll take good care of her. 133 00:10:38,994 --> 00:10:41,130 She is our favorite granddaughter after all. 134 00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:43,066 I'm your only granddaughter. 135 00:10:43,099 --> 00:10:45,134 We'll see you in August for our 40th? 136 00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:46,803 - That's the plan. - Okay. 137 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,809 So, who wants to do drugs? 138 00:10:52,842 --> 00:10:53,977 Hot acid. 139 00:10:54,009 --> 00:10:55,344 A little cocaine made. 140 00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:57,046 Maybe I should settle away 141 00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:58,715 and before you hit the hard stuff. 142 00:11:00,217 --> 00:11:03,020 You're very reasonable for a teenager. 143 00:11:31,046 --> 00:11:33,683 - I rule! - Ugh. 144 00:11:35,084 --> 00:11:36,685 I don't think I need to play another round 145 00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:39,222 of miniature golf for quite some time. 146 00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:41,924 You're just sore 'cause I beat you. 147 00:11:41,958 --> 00:11:44,328 Yeah, miniature golf is pretty lame. 148 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,295 No, actually, you're quite good. 149 00:11:46,329 --> 00:11:48,764 Give your old Mimi a run for her money. 150 00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:51,268 You should know that your grandmother 151 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,970 is the miniature golf champion of the family. 152 00:11:56,305 --> 00:11:59,575 You guys are cute. Mom and Dad were just like you. 153 00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:04,012 So, Joey, you have a boyfriend? 154 00:12:04,046 --> 00:12:06,182 Well, haven't found the right guy yet? 155 00:12:06,215 --> 00:12:08,817 Oh, Joseph, maybe she's a lesbian. 156 00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:10,053 That's okay! 157 00:12:10,085 --> 00:12:11,687 A lot of kids are gay these days. 158 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,656 Jesus, I'm not a lesbian. 159 00:12:15,358 --> 00:12:16,459 Let's go! 160 00:12:16,493 --> 00:12:18,829 You guys are a little too cool, it's freaking me out. 161 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,935 Good afternoon, Roy. 162 00:12:26,969 --> 00:12:29,439 Hello, Joseph. Hello, Margaret. 163 00:12:29,472 --> 00:12:30,874 You got your granddaughter? 164 00:12:30,906 --> 00:12:33,743 This is Joey, stuck with us all summer. 165 00:12:33,776 --> 00:12:34,978 Poor sucker. 166 00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:37,147 Victor is back with us again. 167 00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,882 Who knows how long this time? 168 00:12:38,915 --> 00:12:41,017 But why so glum? 169 00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:42,719 He's gone goth. 170 00:12:42,752 --> 00:12:44,020 Well, I don't know what that means, 171 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,756 but it doesn't sound good. 172 00:12:45,789 --> 00:12:47,891 We'll see you for cards tomorrow night? 173 00:12:47,924 --> 00:12:49,693 Looking forward to it. 174 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,006 Joey! Joey! 175 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,009 Grandpa and I are heading over to the Irelands' for cards. 176 00:13:07,209 --> 00:13:09,211 Hello! 177 00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:11,047 - Hello! - What? 178 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,648 We play late. 179 00:13:12,681 --> 00:13:14,151 So don't wait up. 180 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,019 Ugh, you crazy kids. 181 00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:18,589 What will I ever do with you? Whoa! 182 00:13:19,388 --> 00:13:21,358 Oh, okay. What are you doing? 183 00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:24,861 Why don't you jump on my bike 184 00:13:24,895 --> 00:13:27,029 and tear through the neighborhood, okay? 185 00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:28,599 Good girl. 186 00:14:09,037 --> 00:14:10,173 Shit! 187 00:14:17,213 --> 00:14:18,415 Hello, young lady. 188 00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,050 - Joey? - What are you doing here? 189 00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:21,851 Is everything OK? Where are you going? 190 00:14:21,884 --> 00:14:22,951 Victor, honey! 191 00:14:22,985 --> 00:14:24,287 Someone's here to see you. 192 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,929 Victor, this is our granddaughter, Joey. 193 00:14:31,961 --> 00:14:33,996 She's spending the summer with us. 194 00:14:34,031 --> 00:14:35,765 Lucky Joey, 195 00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:39,435 You know you have the coolest grandparents ever, right? 196 00:14:39,469 --> 00:14:42,671 And your mom's like, that famous novelist, yeah? 197 00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:44,674 I'm sorry, I thought I saw something. 198 00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,677 I'm leaving now. 199 00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:48,579 Nice to see you, Joey. 200 00:14:49,978 --> 00:14:51,214 What is it all about? 201 00:14:51,247 --> 00:14:52,649 Good question. 202 00:14:56,886 --> 00:14:58,355 Hey, wait up! 203 00:15:05,094 --> 00:15:07,430 - Wait. - Okay, I know what I saw. 204 00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:08,698 Your window was open 205 00:15:08,732 --> 00:15:10,199 and pretty music was blasting out of it, 206 00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:11,633 so It couldn't help but notice. 207 00:15:11,666 --> 00:15:12,935 Next time you attempt suicide, 208 00:15:12,969 --> 00:15:14,371 you might wanna try turning your lights off! 209 00:15:14,403 --> 00:15:15,972 You liked my music? 210 00:15:17,406 --> 00:15:18,808 What? 211 00:15:18,842 --> 00:15:22,613 The music I was playing, you said you liked it. 212 00:15:24,747 --> 00:15:27,818 Uh, yeah, it was sad and beautiful. 213 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:32,154 Two great tastes that taste great together. 214 00:15:33,222 --> 00:15:34,790 I'm sorry I scared you. 215 00:15:34,824 --> 00:15:37,359 I was just doing one of my performance pieces. 216 00:15:37,392 --> 00:15:40,028 A performance? For who? 217 00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:42,398 For myself. Who else? 218 00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:49,372 What? 219 00:15:49,405 --> 00:15:51,007 Well, I can't come in. 220 00:15:51,041 --> 00:15:52,876 And why not? 221 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:55,811 A vampire has to be invited into a mortal's home. 222 00:15:55,844 --> 00:15:57,846 I thought everyone knew that. 223 00:15:57,881 --> 00:16:00,050 OK, whatever. Just come on in. 224 00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:07,823 Got any beer? 225 00:16:09,257 --> 00:16:10,661 Uh... root beer? 226 00:16:13,729 --> 00:16:15,132 Adorable. 227 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:23,306 So, if you're a vampire, shouldn't you be drinking blood? 228 00:16:24,239 --> 00:16:26,975 You know, I'm not really a vampire. 229 00:16:27,009 --> 00:16:30,780 But don't tell my grandparents, they're the real vampires. 230 00:16:31,748 --> 00:16:33,081 Wait, I'm not following. 231 00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:36,018 You're not really a vampire, but your grandparents are? 232 00:16:36,051 --> 00:16:37,086 Imagine their disappointment 233 00:16:37,119 --> 00:16:39,623 when they find out I am only a goth. 234 00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:52,334 You wanna make out? 235 00:16:52,368 --> 00:16:54,970 Err, I'm good. Thanks. 236 00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:02,144 What does your room look like? 237 00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:19,095 Wow, so tidy! 238 00:17:19,129 --> 00:17:20,830 You're not a serial killer, are you? 239 00:17:20,863 --> 00:17:22,766 Because I saw this show 240 00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:25,667 and serial killers tend to be very clean. 241 00:17:25,701 --> 00:17:27,336 Well, I am not a serial killer. 242 00:17:28,471 --> 00:17:34,377 Well, I guess I won't know until it's too late. 243 00:17:37,913 --> 00:17:40,616 Nice. Firm. 244 00:17:49,025 --> 00:17:51,093 Not half bad taste in music. 245 00:17:51,126 --> 00:17:54,729 Um, you are very smug, you know that, mister? 246 00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:57,132 If by smug you mean awesome, 247 00:17:57,165 --> 00:17:58,834 you'd be correct, young lady. 248 00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:01,804 Got any pot? 249 00:18:01,837 --> 00:18:03,172 Yeah, right. 250 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,143 Oh, I've never done drugs. 251 00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,278 Well... 252 00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:12,783 there's a first time for everything, isn't there? 253 00:18:19,287 --> 00:18:21,056 Do... do you mind taking that outside? 254 00:18:21,091 --> 00:18:22,358 I just don't want my grandparents thinking 255 00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:24,326 I'm some kind of drug addict. 256 00:18:27,162 --> 00:18:30,232 Smoking a little grass hardly makes you a drug addict. 257 00:18:31,299 --> 00:18:32,368 Here. 258 00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:35,738 Impressive timing. 259 00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:37,206 You know, it's very impolite 260 00:18:37,239 --> 00:18:38,974 to turn down another person's weed. 261 00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:45,681 Okay. 262 00:19:03,699 --> 00:19:08,671 He looked at the girl, aimed the pistol... 263 00:19:08,703 --> 00:19:11,307 and fired a bullet through his right temple. 264 00:19:13,843 --> 00:19:15,745 He freaking shot himself. 265 00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:21,418 Okay wait, so he just kills himself, and then it ends? 266 00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:22,885 That is so messed up. 267 00:19:24,019 --> 00:19:26,122 We're dying from the moment we're born, poodle. 268 00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:27,957 It's best that you accept that now. 269 00:19:30,927 --> 00:19:32,195 Oh, my God. 270 00:19:32,228 --> 00:19:36,364 Is it really that late? Where are my grandparents? 271 00:19:36,399 --> 00:19:38,635 I'm telling you, there are vampires over there. 272 00:19:40,436 --> 00:19:44,307 Should we eat some more? 273 00:19:45,674 --> 00:19:47,676 I'm thinking yes. 274 00:19:49,078 --> 00:19:50,680 Great. 275 00:19:55,651 --> 00:19:57,387 Did I scare you? 276 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,792 Good! 277 00:20:30,853 --> 00:20:31,720 We were wondering 278 00:20:31,755 --> 00:20:33,389 when you were gonna come back to life. 279 00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:34,656 What time is it? 280 00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:36,092 Almost noon. 281 00:20:36,124 --> 00:20:37,826 You kids had fun last night? 282 00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,862 I should ask you two the same thing. 283 00:20:39,895 --> 00:20:40,930 Last time I checked, 284 00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:42,865 it was 2:00AM and you still hadn't made it home. 285 00:20:44,432 --> 00:20:47,903 Whoa. Does he do that often? 286 00:20:47,937 --> 00:20:50,306 Do what, dear? What? 287 00:20:52,975 --> 00:20:55,178 Breakfast is served. 288 00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:59,649 Of course, it's almost lunch, but, what the hell? 289 00:20:59,681 --> 00:21:01,617 Really? Is the nakedness necessary? 290 00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:04,286 He isn't naked, dear. He's wearing an apron. 291 00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:10,793 So, what are you doing today? Any plans? 292 00:21:10,826 --> 00:21:13,696 Victor and I thought that it would be fun to hang out. 293 00:21:23,038 --> 00:21:25,040 You look really beautiful. 294 00:21:25,074 --> 00:21:26,241 I look really awkward. 295 00:21:26,276 --> 00:21:28,612 But in a really attractive way. 296 00:21:30,145 --> 00:21:32,614 Oh! 297 00:21:32,649 --> 00:21:36,119 Think of it as an advance on your inheritance. 298 00:21:36,151 --> 00:21:37,687 Have fun tonight! 299 00:21:37,719 --> 00:21:39,221 Thank you, Papa. 300 00:21:53,803 --> 00:21:56,672 Hi, Mr. Ireland, uh, is Victor home? 301 00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:58,742 You know, I think he just went to the coffee shop. 302 00:21:59,874 --> 00:22:01,209 Really? 303 00:22:01,242 --> 00:22:03,645 We were supposed to hang out together. 304 00:22:03,679 --> 00:22:04,781 He went to get coffee. 305 00:22:04,814 --> 00:22:05,848 He went for coffee. 306 00:22:05,882 --> 00:22:07,283 Are you excited about the fourth? 307 00:22:07,316 --> 00:22:09,651 I hadn't really thought about it. 308 00:22:09,684 --> 00:22:11,286 You're an American, aren't you? 309 00:22:11,319 --> 00:22:12,787 Well, yes, I'm an American, 310 00:22:12,821 --> 00:22:15,124 but the fourth seems a little bit far off. 311 00:22:15,157 --> 00:22:18,161 It's around the corner. I just got back from Tijuana 312 00:22:18,193 --> 00:22:19,828 with this little baby. 313 00:22:20,997 --> 00:22:23,700 Now, if the cops come knocking, you ain't seen nothing. 314 00:22:23,732 --> 00:22:24,899 Oh, okay. 315 00:22:24,933 --> 00:22:26,969 Well, have a good day, Mr. and Mrs. Ireland. 316 00:22:29,037 --> 00:22:30,406 Strange girl. 317 00:22:31,373 --> 00:22:35,611 There you are. 318 00:22:35,644 --> 00:22:36,979 Can't talk now, Mom. Gotta run. 319 00:23:11,747 --> 00:23:13,083 Victor? 320 00:23:13,115 --> 00:23:14,683 Hi, hey, there. 321 00:23:14,717 --> 00:23:16,051 Hey, everyone, have you met 322 00:23:16,084 --> 00:23:18,254 my new friend, Joey? Joey, this is Pen, 323 00:23:18,286 --> 00:23:19,988 and this is her boyfriend, Cobb. 324 00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:24,260 Hi. Pen and Cobb are those nicknames 325 00:23:24,294 --> 00:23:25,227 or something? 326 00:23:25,259 --> 00:23:26,728 Pen is an adult female swan. 327 00:23:26,761 --> 00:23:28,229 Cobb is an adult male swan. 328 00:23:28,264 --> 00:23:30,700 Did you guys know that swans mate for life? 329 00:23:30,732 --> 00:23:32,667 Course we know that, don't we, beloved? 330 00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:34,069 Pen and Cobb have made a blood vow 331 00:23:34,103 --> 00:23:35,371 to be together forever. 332 00:23:35,404 --> 00:23:36,905 See, they have phials of each other's blood 333 00:23:36,939 --> 00:23:37,940 around their neck. 334 00:23:37,973 --> 00:23:39,208 Isn't that romantic? 335 00:23:40,308 --> 00:23:41,344 Sure. 336 00:23:42,878 --> 00:23:44,947 When he dies, I will take my own life immediately 337 00:23:44,979 --> 00:23:46,781 and he will do the same for me if I pass on 338 00:23:46,815 --> 00:23:49,219 to the next world before him. We'll be together in this life 339 00:23:49,251 --> 00:23:50,385 and in the hereafter. 340 00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:51,621 If there is a hereafter. 341 00:23:51,653 --> 00:23:52,921 Of course, there is a hereafter. 342 00:23:52,955 --> 00:23:54,424 Positively can't wait for the hereafter. 343 00:23:54,457 --> 00:23:55,824 But what if we're already dead? 344 00:23:55,857 --> 00:23:57,192 And this is the hereafter. 345 00:23:57,226 --> 00:24:00,029 I love you exquisitely twisted mind, you know that? 346 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,232 You ditched the grandparents this afternoon. 347 00:24:02,265 --> 00:24:05,168 A person can only play so much canasta, really. 348 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,635 I love canasta. 349 00:24:10,105 --> 00:24:14,809 Victor, can I talk to you in private for a second? 350 00:24:14,843 --> 00:24:16,146 Sure. 351 00:24:23,018 --> 00:24:24,086 What's up? 352 00:24:25,455 --> 00:24:27,957 It's just that I... I thought we were gonna hang out, 353 00:24:27,990 --> 00:24:29,758 you know, together. 354 00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:32,161 Jesus, Joey, I'm really shocked. 355 00:24:32,193 --> 00:24:33,662 We didn't even have sex last night, 356 00:24:33,696 --> 00:24:35,264 - you're already so possessive. - No, no. 357 00:24:35,297 --> 00:24:37,032 I mean, you stalked me all the way here, 358 00:24:37,065 --> 00:24:38,968 and now I hear you give me a guilt trip about meeting up 359 00:24:39,001 --> 00:24:39,834 with my friends? 360 00:24:39,867 --> 00:24:41,236 I wasn't stalking you, I just thought 361 00:24:41,269 --> 00:24:44,173 - that we were gonna hang on. - Joey, relax. 362 00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:45,708 I'm just kidding. 363 00:24:45,740 --> 00:24:46,709 I didn't have your number in my phone, 364 00:24:46,742 --> 00:24:49,110 so I thought you'd figure out to meet me here. 365 00:24:49,144 --> 00:24:52,248 But you're really sweet, you know that, right? 366 00:24:57,151 --> 00:24:58,621 What? 367 00:24:58,653 --> 00:25:02,025 It's just your outfit is really bringing me down. 368 00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:04,960 It's time to freshen things up a little bit, 369 00:25:04,994 --> 00:25:08,363 and by "freshen," I mean change every single thing 370 00:25:08,396 --> 00:25:10,799 about the way you look. 371 00:25:13,436 --> 00:25:14,904 Will this help? 372 00:25:16,005 --> 00:25:18,306 Pen, Cobb, emergency makeover. 373 00:25:26,114 --> 00:25:28,351 Back off, bitch, Eliza Doolittle's mine. 374 00:25:33,756 --> 00:25:35,658 You'll be a new woman once I'm done with you. 375 00:25:43,799 --> 00:25:45,300 She gets really moved by makeovers. 376 00:26:05,421 --> 00:26:08,757 Just one last thing. 377 00:26:08,789 --> 00:26:10,125 Okay. 378 00:26:16,065 --> 00:26:17,866 Look at this pair of WOBs. 379 00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:19,768 WOBs? 380 00:26:19,802 --> 00:26:22,205 Wearers Of Black, like you now. 381 00:26:23,337 --> 00:26:26,174 What's a great color on you ladies! Very slimming. 382 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:27,376 What the hell! 383 00:26:30,011 --> 00:26:31,079 How's our girl? 384 00:26:31,113 --> 00:26:32,180 We went shopping. 385 00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:34,050 This is no time for small talk, 386 00:26:34,083 --> 00:26:35,618 your whole life is about to change. 387 00:26:35,651 --> 00:26:36,952 Thank you. 388 00:26:39,955 --> 00:26:41,824 Should we be worried? 389 00:26:41,856 --> 00:26:44,594 They're teenagers. Yes. 390 00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:49,097 Okay. Oh, these are nice! 391 00:26:49,131 --> 00:26:52,168 We should dye this. 392 00:26:55,270 --> 00:26:57,039 What do you think? 393 00:26:58,207 --> 00:27:00,008 Utterly lugubrious. 394 00:27:00,042 --> 00:27:01,410 The Utterly Lugubrious. 395 00:27:01,442 --> 00:27:03,145 What do you think of that for our band name? 396 00:27:04,412 --> 00:27:05,847 Check this out. 397 00:27:11,319 --> 00:27:15,190 Oh, my God, my mom is gonna kill me. 398 00:27:16,758 --> 00:27:18,728 It's awesome, I love it. 399 00:27:20,929 --> 00:27:22,663 Like this? 400 00:27:22,698 --> 00:27:25,935 - You can do that? - Oh... Oh, God. 401 00:27:27,335 --> 00:27:30,305 You look like the bride of Frankenstein. 402 00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:31,806 Hot. 403 00:27:31,841 --> 00:27:33,709 Hey. See you at 8:00? 404 00:27:33,741 --> 00:27:36,778 I don't think I'm gonna make it tonight. 405 00:27:37,979 --> 00:27:39,848 Close your eye. 406 00:27:50,258 --> 00:27:52,795 You know, there's no going back now, right? 407 00:28:13,114 --> 00:28:16,651 Wow! You guys going to a funeral? 408 00:28:16,686 --> 00:28:18,221 Why? Do you happen to know of any good ones? 409 00:28:18,254 --> 00:28:19,988 We're off to a party, you guys. 410 00:28:20,021 --> 00:28:23,125 We'll get her home safe. Promise. 411 00:28:26,061 --> 00:28:29,098 Did you see what that boy did to our Joey? 412 00:28:29,131 --> 00:28:33,701 Yeah. It finally looks like she's having some fun. 413 00:28:33,735 --> 00:28:34,737 Uh... 414 00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:38,207 Wait. 415 00:28:42,077 --> 00:28:44,713 I want you... 416 00:28:44,747 --> 00:28:46,615 ...to be perfect. 417 00:28:52,853 --> 00:28:54,891 Hey, Joey, give me your phone. 418 00:28:55,857 --> 00:28:57,192 Okay. 419 00:28:59,428 --> 00:29:02,198 Now, uh, press play when we get to the party. 420 00:29:03,231 --> 00:29:04,933 Trust us. 421 00:29:21,950 --> 00:29:25,754 I love this song. Let's dance. 422 00:29:37,298 --> 00:29:39,401 Doesn't it seem sort of wrong 423 00:29:39,434 --> 00:29:41,303 to be dancing on someone's grave? 424 00:29:42,805 --> 00:29:45,673 I've got a secret for you, kiddo: 425 00:29:45,708 --> 00:29:48,377 they're already dead, they won't even know. 426 00:31:07,154 --> 00:31:09,624 The stars look amazing. 427 00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:10,758 You look amazing. 428 00:31:10,792 --> 00:31:12,161 You are amazing. 429 00:31:14,662 --> 00:31:16,598 You need to reapply, poodle. 430 00:31:18,033 --> 00:31:21,003 Well, well, if it isn't a Goth convention? 431 00:31:21,036 --> 00:31:22,837 Not again. 432 00:31:23,738 --> 00:31:26,408 Oh, hey, newbie! Nice lipstick. 433 00:31:26,441 --> 00:31:28,809 Very fetching. 434 00:31:28,844 --> 00:31:31,080 Aww, don't you two make a cute couple? 435 00:31:31,113 --> 00:31:32,847 Don't touch me, man! 436 00:31:32,881 --> 00:31:35,050 Victor, your girlfriend says I stop touching her. 437 00:31:35,083 --> 00:31:36,352 I'm not his girlfriend. 438 00:31:37,452 --> 00:31:38,819 You hear that, Victor? 439 00:31:38,853 --> 00:31:39,921 She says she's not your girlfriend. 440 00:31:39,955 --> 00:31:41,123 How does that make you feel? 441 00:31:42,324 --> 00:31:44,693 Oh, I was just having a little fun. 442 00:31:44,727 --> 00:31:46,094 Am I making everyone uncomfortable? 443 00:31:46,128 --> 00:31:47,129 Why don't you just leave? 444 00:31:47,162 --> 00:31:48,863 You weren't even going to be here. 445 00:31:50,132 --> 00:31:52,668 Hate the cemetery, nothing but goths and dead people. 446 00:31:53,701 --> 00:31:55,103 Hey, you know what would be really convenient? 447 00:32:02,077 --> 00:32:03,812 If I just killed all of you and buried you here. 448 00:32:04,813 --> 00:32:06,248 Just get out of here. 449 00:32:07,848 --> 00:32:09,050 I mean... 450 00:32:11,786 --> 00:32:13,288 ...you're a Goth now. 451 00:32:13,322 --> 00:32:14,689 You goths can't wait to die. 452 00:32:14,722 --> 00:32:16,224 Stop it, you're hurting me. 453 00:32:16,257 --> 00:32:17,357 Who's gonna make me? 454 00:32:17,359 --> 00:32:19,128 Antonio, stop. 455 00:32:20,228 --> 00:32:21,764 Try me. 456 00:32:28,103 --> 00:32:30,305 Damned goths, I should bury all of you. 457 00:32:30,338 --> 00:32:31,806 Punk bitch. 458 00:32:33,674 --> 00:32:35,076 Victor, just let him go. 459 00:32:36,344 --> 00:32:37,779 What did you just say to me? 460 00:32:45,220 --> 00:32:46,721 Antonio! 461 00:32:49,024 --> 00:32:50,293 Enough! 462 00:32:57,364 --> 00:32:58,968 Let's go! 463 00:32:59,867 --> 00:33:01,803 Why are punks such animals? 464 00:33:03,071 --> 00:33:06,275 You okay? That was such a buzzkill. 465 00:33:08,410 --> 00:33:11,680 Come on. I wanna show you something. 466 00:33:37,439 --> 00:33:39,175 I like to think of this as my summer home. 467 00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,948 Let's stay here all night and we can get up 468 00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:48,284 and watch the sunrise. 469 00:34:00,728 --> 00:34:02,396 Is everything okay? 470 00:34:02,430 --> 00:34:05,633 Um, I guess I'm just still a little freaked 471 00:34:05,667 --> 00:34:08,103 with the whole scene with Antonio maybe. 472 00:34:11,672 --> 00:34:13,174 You're a virgin, aren't you? 473 00:34:13,207 --> 00:34:17,077 What? Well, yeah, technically. 474 00:34:17,111 --> 00:34:19,748 Technically?, yeah, you're a virgin. 475 00:34:20,915 --> 00:34:22,984 I guess I just need to slow things down a little. 476 00:34:23,018 --> 00:34:24,853 Okay? 477 00:34:24,886 --> 00:34:26,921 Sure. I get it. 478 00:34:52,446 --> 00:34:53,815 Oh, my God, what time is it? 479 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:57,386 My grandparents are gonna kill me. 480 00:34:59,254 --> 00:35:02,323 - You coming? - Curse the light. 481 00:35:08,196 --> 00:35:09,732 Are you just now getting in? 482 00:35:10,899 --> 00:35:14,069 Yeah, I was hanging out at Victor's late last night 483 00:35:14,102 --> 00:35:16,004 and I guess we fell asleep. 484 00:35:16,038 --> 00:35:18,073 We were over there until late last night 485 00:35:18,107 --> 00:35:21,143 and, uh, we didn't see you there. 486 00:35:22,977 --> 00:35:25,113 Are you going to tell us what really happened? 487 00:35:26,214 --> 00:35:27,650 Okay. Victor and I went to a party 488 00:35:27,683 --> 00:35:29,184 at the old cemetery and we kind of fell 489 00:35:29,218 --> 00:35:30,719 asleep together in a tomb. 490 00:35:30,752 --> 00:35:33,122 But it's cool, nothing happened, it was totally PG. 491 00:35:34,323 --> 00:35:37,792 Was your phone stolen while you were sleeping? 492 00:35:37,826 --> 00:35:39,227 Whatever, okay? 493 00:35:39,261 --> 00:35:42,031 I go to one lousy party and I get interrogated. 494 00:35:42,964 --> 00:35:44,065 Ouch! 495 00:35:44,098 --> 00:35:45,167 What did you that for? 496 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,801 Because I can legally beat the crap... 497 00:35:46,835 --> 00:35:48,938 beat any sense into you. 498 00:35:49,870 --> 00:35:51,973 Next time send a text, young lady. 499 00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:54,142 You know how to text? 500 00:35:54,176 --> 00:35:55,244 Nah. 501 00:36:18,132 --> 00:36:20,102 Say something and I will get back to you. 502 00:36:20,134 --> 00:36:21,837 Maybe. 503 00:36:35,082 --> 00:36:37,818 OMG! What did you do to your hair? 504 00:36:37,852 --> 00:36:39,687 I met a boy. 505 00:36:39,721 --> 00:36:42,390 Okay, obviously, I need the Lydia Deetz. 506 00:36:42,422 --> 00:36:43,825 What? 507 00:36:43,859 --> 00:36:45,826 Who is he? I mean he has to be a good kisser 508 00:36:45,861 --> 00:36:47,661 to make your hair change colour like that. 509 00:36:47,696 --> 00:36:50,199 You are really out of control, you know that? 510 00:36:50,232 --> 00:36:51,300 I miss you. 511 00:36:51,332 --> 00:36:54,969 I'm only 45 minutes away, I should just come over. 512 00:36:55,002 --> 00:36:58,105 I would love that, you can meet Victor. 513 00:36:58,138 --> 00:37:00,276 Ooh! He sounds like trouble. 514 00:37:00,308 --> 00:37:02,643 I think he might be. We spent the night together 515 00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:05,714 - in a tomb. - Okay, that is totally creepy, 516 00:37:05,747 --> 00:37:07,315 and I'm totally there. 517 00:37:07,348 --> 00:37:09,383 Okay, sweet. See you soon. 518 00:37:09,417 --> 00:37:10,685 I'll check on my parentals 519 00:37:10,718 --> 00:37:12,286 and I'll get back to you. 520 00:37:12,321 --> 00:37:13,721 Later, Lydia. 521 00:37:26,335 --> 00:37:27,335 Hello there, YouTube. 522 00:37:27,368 --> 00:37:29,036 So today, I'm going to be doing 523 00:37:29,069 --> 00:37:30,671 my everyday makeup routine. 524 00:37:30,705 --> 00:37:32,107 And I'm going to be showing you how... 525 00:37:48,122 --> 00:37:49,156 So you can take it up 526 00:37:49,189 --> 00:37:52,760 as high as you want depending on the kind of... 527 00:37:53,728 --> 00:37:54,562 Whenever you tease your hair, 528 00:37:54,596 --> 00:37:56,364 you're gonna take a brush like this. 529 00:38:00,268 --> 00:38:02,870 It's time to hairspray, the ever-living shit 530 00:38:02,904 --> 00:38:04,372 out of his hair. 531 00:38:10,946 --> 00:38:13,281 Hi, guys, what are you doing? 532 00:38:13,314 --> 00:38:15,716 Well, the picnic, duh. 533 00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:17,252 And your little boyfriend's grandparents 534 00:38:17,285 --> 00:38:18,754 are itching to get going. 535 00:38:18,786 --> 00:38:20,221 He's not my boyfriend. 536 00:38:20,254 --> 00:38:22,056 Let's get to move on, people. 537 00:38:33,734 --> 00:38:36,136 Well, if it isn't the belle of the ball... 538 00:38:36,171 --> 00:38:38,172 I didn't have my team to put me together this morning. 539 00:38:38,205 --> 00:38:39,774 What do you think? 540 00:38:41,042 --> 00:38:45,747 It's close, but not quite. 541 00:38:45,779 --> 00:38:47,248 It's like you're holding back or something. 542 00:38:48,450 --> 00:38:51,886 I guess I'm just new to this whole goth thing. 543 00:38:51,919 --> 00:38:54,388 I think you're just scared of what people 544 00:38:54,422 --> 00:38:56,959 would think if you really went for it. 545 00:38:58,026 --> 00:38:59,627 I don't care what people think. 546 00:38:59,660 --> 00:39:02,129 No? 547 00:39:02,163 --> 00:39:04,932 Well, if you don't care what people think... 548 00:39:07,002 --> 00:39:08,704 why did you just ask me what I thought? 549 00:39:33,661 --> 00:39:35,330 Huh. It's a little early for Halloween, 550 00:39:35,364 --> 00:39:36,932 don't you think? 551 00:39:40,067 --> 00:39:42,870 Hey, Victor, try not to get your ass kicked today, would ya? 552 00:39:42,904 --> 00:39:45,007 Would you look at that! 553 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,642 A hot dog wrapped in bacon? 554 00:39:47,676 --> 00:39:49,210 God bless America. 555 00:39:51,044 --> 00:39:52,780 You want to get out of here? 556 00:41:52,466 --> 00:41:54,169 Happy 4th of July, Joey. 557 00:42:22,029 --> 00:42:23,698 You want to go to our summer place? 558 00:42:31,004 --> 00:42:33,273 Happy birthday, America. 559 00:42:33,308 --> 00:42:34,976 I don't ever wanna go back, 560 00:42:35,009 --> 00:42:37,279 can't we just stay in the cemetery forever? 561 00:42:38,712 --> 00:42:40,348 Wow, 562 00:42:40,381 --> 00:42:43,317 maybe you are real goth. 563 00:43:21,022 --> 00:43:22,623 See you later? 564 00:43:22,656 --> 00:43:24,225 You know where to find me. 565 00:43:44,346 --> 00:43:46,848 Have a nice evening, Joey? 566 00:43:46,881 --> 00:43:48,649 Yeah, Thanks, Mimi. 567 00:43:48,683 --> 00:43:49,851 Want paincakes? 568 00:43:49,884 --> 00:43:51,953 No, I'm just going to sleep for a while. 569 00:43:51,986 --> 00:43:53,854 Victor and I are gonna hang out later. 570 00:43:54,888 --> 00:43:56,390 Didn't we agree you would text 571 00:43:56,424 --> 00:43:58,794 the next time you were going to stay out late? 572 00:43:58,826 --> 00:44:01,428 Yeah, I lost my phone, but no worries, I found it. 573 00:44:01,462 --> 00:44:02,997 You're spending an awful lot of time 574 00:44:03,031 --> 00:44:04,733 with that boy. 575 00:44:06,067 --> 00:44:09,204 Yeah, well, I really like him, I guess. 576 00:44:09,236 --> 00:44:11,338 We don't like it that you're staying out 577 00:44:11,372 --> 00:44:14,808 all night. Are you being... safe? 578 00:44:14,843 --> 00:44:16,176 Okay, It's fine. Nothing's happened. 579 00:44:16,210 --> 00:44:18,914 Your mother called worried to death. 580 00:44:20,015 --> 00:44:21,049 If my mother is so worried 581 00:44:21,082 --> 00:44:22,984 about my whereabouts, so why she dumped me here 582 00:44:23,017 --> 00:44:24,152 all summer? 583 00:44:24,185 --> 00:44:25,420 Why don't you spend some time 584 00:44:25,453 --> 00:44:26,954 with your grandparents this summer? 585 00:44:26,988 --> 00:44:28,922 Okay. You guys, listen, I'm sorry 586 00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:31,025 that I didn't send a text, but I figured you guys knew 587 00:44:31,058 --> 00:44:32,127 I was with Victor. 588 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:33,627 That doesn't make us feel any better. 589 00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:37,263 We're asking you not see Victor for two weeks. 590 00:44:37,297 --> 00:44:38,966 Are you, like, grounding me? 591 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,135 We're not grounding you. 592 00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:44,205 We're just limiting your bad choices. 593 00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,041 And what does that mean exactly? 594 00:44:46,073 --> 00:44:47,308 We're grounding you. 595 00:46:04,152 --> 00:46:05,353 Hi, it's Mom. 596 00:46:07,989 --> 00:46:09,624 Hello, it's your mom. 597 00:46:12,093 --> 00:46:14,094 It's Carissa calling. 598 00:46:31,712 --> 00:46:32,814 Joey, dear. 599 00:46:32,846 --> 00:46:34,783 Yes, grandfather, dear. 600 00:46:34,815 --> 00:46:36,384 We thought it might be a good idea 601 00:46:36,417 --> 00:46:40,087 if you joined us. We have big plans. 602 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:41,989 Oh, big plans huh? 603 00:46:42,022 --> 00:46:44,858 I'm not sure I can resist the sound of that, Papa. 604 00:46:44,892 --> 00:46:46,794 And I'm not sure I would have taken no 605 00:46:46,828 --> 00:46:48,129 for an answer. 606 00:46:48,161 --> 00:46:51,632 Now throw on something black and meet us downstairs. 607 00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,002 Yes! 608 00:46:58,471 --> 00:47:00,841 People actually play bingo? 609 00:47:00,875 --> 00:47:03,210 This ain't your grandma's bingo. 610 00:47:03,243 --> 00:47:05,912 This is like acid trip bingo. 611 00:47:05,946 --> 00:47:07,113 Now, I'm curious. 612 00:47:07,147 --> 00:47:08,248 Yeah. Come on. 613 00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:10,384 O row, 69. 614 00:47:10,417 --> 00:47:14,788 And our next number is in the B row, B-11. 615 00:47:14,823 --> 00:47:17,391 Up next, we have... 616 00:47:17,424 --> 00:47:19,693 Oh, bingo? 617 00:47:19,727 --> 00:47:20,795 Helga! 618 00:47:20,828 --> 00:47:22,329 My goodness, you won again. 619 00:47:22,363 --> 00:47:24,065 Come on up! Let's see, 620 00:47:24,098 --> 00:47:26,368 I have to confirm that, 'cause you win an awful lot. 621 00:47:26,401 --> 00:47:27,567 I'm suspicious. 622 00:47:27,602 --> 00:47:29,703 And everybody's so quiet, they're not very happy for you. 623 00:47:29,738 --> 00:47:31,339 Can we get a nice bunch of applause 624 00:47:31,372 --> 00:47:33,241 We had to be supportive of one another. 625 00:47:33,274 --> 00:47:35,609 B-3, yes. 626 00:47:35,643 --> 00:47:37,378 B-11, yes. 627 00:47:37,410 --> 00:47:40,146 O-69, my favorite number. 628 00:47:40,181 --> 00:47:41,249 Congratulations. 629 00:47:41,281 --> 00:47:42,616 How do you always win so much? 630 00:47:42,649 --> 00:47:44,251 I'm an expert at bingo. 631 00:47:44,285 --> 00:47:45,719 You're a very expert bingo. 632 00:47:45,752 --> 00:47:46,653 Thank you so much. 633 00:47:46,687 --> 00:47:48,055 Your prize is... Are you ready for this? 634 00:47:48,089 --> 00:47:50,024 A year's supply of soft cheese. 635 00:47:50,056 --> 00:47:52,160 Oh? I like it. 636 00:47:52,192 --> 00:47:54,194 I knew you would. You're welcome. Congratulations. 637 00:47:54,228 --> 00:47:55,696 Very nice, supportive of Helga. 638 00:47:56,797 --> 00:47:58,299 Okay, everybody, welcome to our newcomers 639 00:47:58,332 --> 00:47:59,732 who have just arrived a little bit late. 640 00:47:59,767 --> 00:48:02,370 Nice to see you, little unhappy girl, welcome. 641 00:48:02,402 --> 00:48:04,772 Okay, ready? The game you're going through right now 642 00:48:04,806 --> 00:48:07,275 is just plain old regular straight bingo. 643 00:48:07,308 --> 00:48:09,744 Just like me, plain, old, regular and straight. 644 00:48:09,777 --> 00:48:12,646 You can go up and down, side to side or diagonal, got it? 645 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,248 You only need five to win. 646 00:48:14,281 --> 00:48:17,151 How about B-4? 647 00:48:17,183 --> 00:48:20,087 Not after but B-4. 648 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,657 - I have that one. - Oh, good. 649 00:48:23,690 --> 00:48:27,895 And our next member is G-55. 650 00:48:27,928 --> 00:48:29,631 I can't drive 55. 651 00:48:29,663 --> 00:48:30,832 I got that one too. 652 00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:32,067 That's great! 653 00:48:34,868 --> 00:48:37,872 The last number in the bingo board is O-75. 654 00:48:37,906 --> 00:48:39,940 How about O-7-5? 655 00:48:39,973 --> 00:48:41,109 I got it. 656 00:48:41,142 --> 00:48:42,243 And ladies and gentlemen 657 00:48:42,276 --> 00:48:46,980 and those in between, for you, our next number is I-27. 658 00:48:47,015 --> 00:48:48,950 My age I-2-7. 659 00:48:48,982 --> 00:48:50,218 Don't snicker over there. 660 00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:52,085 Oh, my gosh, wait, with the free space, 661 00:48:52,118 --> 00:48:53,353 I think that I might have... 662 00:48:53,386 --> 00:48:57,892 - Shout it out! Shout! - Bingo! 663 00:48:57,926 --> 00:48:59,360 Another winner in the family! 664 00:48:59,393 --> 00:49:01,228 Oh, wait a minute, did you say bingo? 665 00:49:01,261 --> 00:49:02,363 Yeah! 666 00:49:02,395 --> 00:49:04,031 Oh, I couldn't hear with all this popcorn machine. 667 00:49:04,064 --> 00:49:06,166 So, okay, zombie girl. Come on, let's see what you got. 668 00:49:08,069 --> 00:49:09,671 The game was rigged. 669 00:49:09,703 --> 00:49:10,805 You're the new one, right? 670 00:49:10,839 --> 00:49:11,806 I haven't seen you around here before. 671 00:49:11,839 --> 00:49:12,707 Yeah, it's my first time. 672 00:49:12,739 --> 00:49:13,975 Oh my! You haven't played Bingo ever? 673 00:49:14,007 --> 00:49:15,176 - Hum, hum. - Oh, my gosh. 674 00:49:15,209 --> 00:49:17,011 You've ever been this close to a man in a dress before? 675 00:49:17,044 --> 00:49:18,011 Oh, I don't think so. 676 00:49:18,046 --> 00:49:19,212 It's the day of firsts for you. 677 00:49:19,245 --> 00:49:20,080 - What is your name? - Joey. 678 00:49:20,114 --> 00:49:21,816 Joey, nice to meet you. I'm Ralph. 679 00:49:21,848 --> 00:49:24,852 Okay, so we have B-4. 680 00:49:24,886 --> 00:49:27,721 We have I-27. Okay. 681 00:49:27,754 --> 00:49:29,390 You use your free spot, very clever. 682 00:49:29,422 --> 00:49:30,991 Sometimes cheating, but not in this case. 683 00:49:31,024 --> 00:49:33,626 How about G-55? Yes. 684 00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:36,129 And O-75? That's a good bingo. 685 00:49:36,163 --> 00:49:37,832 Let's get a nice round of applause for Joey. 686 00:49:37,864 --> 00:49:39,667 Congratulations! Okay, Joey. 687 00:49:39,700 --> 00:49:40,868 So, there's no more soft cheeses. 688 00:49:40,902 --> 00:49:43,371 But I have for you a two-month pass 689 00:49:43,404 --> 00:49:47,175 to underwater aerobics at the SINU center. 690 00:49:47,207 --> 00:49:49,075 Oh, we can go together! 691 00:49:49,109 --> 00:49:52,078 I know, they usually like that kind of prize. 692 00:49:52,113 --> 00:49:53,381 Congratulations. 693 00:49:53,415 --> 00:49:55,884 Applause for Joey one more time. Thank you so much. 694 00:49:55,917 --> 00:49:57,250 And now we're going to clear the board. 695 00:49:57,283 --> 00:49:58,718 We're going to play again; you guys ready? 696 00:49:58,752 --> 00:49:59,953 Let's play again! 697 00:50:01,689 --> 00:50:03,892 How's your licorice, bingo queen? 698 00:50:05,792 --> 00:50:07,727 Even her tongue wears black. 699 00:50:07,761 --> 00:50:11,097 You see, it's not so bad hanging here with us? 700 00:50:11,131 --> 00:50:13,834 Yeah, you guys are all right, I guess. 701 00:50:13,868 --> 00:50:15,804 I wonder how your mom is doing. 702 00:50:18,372 --> 00:50:20,173 I don't. 703 00:50:20,207 --> 00:50:21,643 Whoops! 704 00:50:22,676 --> 00:50:26,213 Listen, you can always talk to us. 705 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:28,181 Okay. 706 00:50:28,214 --> 00:50:31,051 How about we just keep not talking about her or him? 707 00:50:31,085 --> 00:50:34,322 - Okay? - You know what? 708 00:50:34,355 --> 00:50:36,757 I think today is the last day 709 00:50:36,790 --> 00:50:39,126 of your grounding, zombie girl. 710 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:40,228 What do you think, mimi? 711 00:50:40,261 --> 00:50:43,397 Yeah, she satisfied the terms of her sentencing. 712 00:50:43,430 --> 00:50:45,332 Really? Like, you mean it? 713 00:50:45,366 --> 00:50:46,934 Mm-hmm. 714 00:50:46,966 --> 00:50:49,203 You're all cleared for takeoff, little bird. 715 00:51:05,152 --> 00:51:06,854 Aren't you gonna say, "Trick or treat"? 716 00:51:06,886 --> 00:51:08,256 Bye, guys, yes, I promise 717 00:51:08,288 --> 00:51:09,890 I'll text if we're gonna be out late. 718 00:51:16,364 --> 00:51:18,833 You're sure you want to take them camping? 719 00:51:20,368 --> 00:51:22,703 At least I know they'll love your ghost stories. 720 00:51:25,372 --> 00:51:26,974 Thank god. 721 00:51:33,714 --> 00:51:35,181 I'm beginning to tan! 722 00:51:35,216 --> 00:51:37,886 Well, that's a cream was with positively blood-curdling. 723 00:51:37,919 --> 00:51:39,252 That's such a turn-on. 724 00:51:39,286 --> 00:51:41,288 Let's get out of here, I'm starting to melt. 725 00:51:41,321 --> 00:51:42,957 Wait, one last shot, okay, guys? 726 00:51:45,692 --> 00:51:46,995 I win! 727 00:51:55,435 --> 00:51:57,171 Gonna have to use a ton of powder tonight. 728 00:51:57,203 --> 00:51:59,906 Or we wanna like extra dud for the party. 729 00:51:59,940 --> 00:52:01,308 What party? 730 00:52:01,341 --> 00:52:03,243 Victor didn't tell you about the party? 731 00:52:03,277 --> 00:52:05,113 No, he didn't mention it. 732 00:52:06,647 --> 00:52:08,583 I got to take it, I'll be right back. 733 00:52:09,450 --> 00:52:12,152 Joey. Lipstick. 734 00:52:21,661 --> 00:52:24,899 So, you guys gonna tell me about this party or what? 735 00:52:25,866 --> 00:52:28,002 Okay, get over it. 736 00:52:29,870 --> 00:52:31,939 I think I know what you're gonna say, 737 00:52:31,973 --> 00:52:35,176 but we kind of work together, don't we? 738 00:52:35,209 --> 00:52:37,212 We just don't want you to feel unwelcome, that's all. 739 00:52:38,245 --> 00:52:40,147 And why would Joey feel unwelcome? 740 00:52:41,948 --> 00:52:43,816 - Oh, right, the party. - What? 741 00:52:43,850 --> 00:52:46,786 Am I, like, not invited or something? 742 00:52:46,819 --> 00:52:48,055 Well, at first, I didn't invite you 743 00:52:48,089 --> 00:52:49,824 because you were grounded. 744 00:52:49,857 --> 00:52:52,726 But I have to admit I am a little nervous 745 00:52:52,759 --> 00:52:54,094 you might feel uncomfortable. 746 00:52:55,696 --> 00:52:57,131 Why would I be uncomfortable? 747 00:52:58,399 --> 00:53:01,067 Because these are real goths. 748 00:53:01,100 --> 00:53:03,036 You may feel like kind of a poser. 749 00:53:04,172 --> 00:53:07,608 I never thought of myself as a poser. 750 00:53:07,642 --> 00:53:08,875 You can't just dye your hair 751 00:53:08,910 --> 00:53:10,245 and change your clothes for the summer 752 00:53:10,277 --> 00:53:13,247 and expect everyone to accept you as one of our own. 753 00:53:13,279 --> 00:53:15,582 It's not just a scene, it's a way of life. 754 00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:20,955 Hey, hey, don't pout, pretty lady. 755 00:53:22,290 --> 00:53:23,858 It'll be fun. 756 00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:27,661 I promise. 757 00:53:35,370 --> 00:53:37,004 Are you sure I'm dressed up enough? 758 00:53:37,036 --> 00:53:40,707 Yes. You look fine, please. 759 00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:52,152 Relax, they can smell your fear. 760 00:53:52,185 --> 00:53:53,687 I can't help it. 761 00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:55,122 I don't want them thinking that I'm a poser. 762 00:53:55,156 --> 00:53:58,058 Please, you're with me, 763 00:53:58,091 --> 00:53:59,993 and practically goth royalty. 764 00:54:05,064 --> 00:54:06,733 Victor. 765 00:54:11,839 --> 00:54:13,975 You didn't tell me you would be bringing company. 766 00:54:15,109 --> 00:54:19,013 Yes, Pandora, this is Josephine, 767 00:54:19,046 --> 00:54:21,381 the newest addition to our little coven. 768 00:54:21,415 --> 00:54:23,117 You can call me Joey. 769 00:54:24,417 --> 00:54:27,754 Joey, this is Pandora. She's our host, 770 00:54:27,788 --> 00:54:31,059 and her family owns the biggest mortuary in town. 771 00:54:31,091 --> 00:54:32,426 - Oh. - Yes. 772 00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:34,695 Business has been especially good lately. 773 00:54:34,727 --> 00:54:36,763 Why? You've been killing them? 774 00:54:39,433 --> 00:54:40,901 No, I just mean that you... 775 00:54:40,935 --> 00:54:42,069 it must be really convenient, you know, 776 00:54:42,102 --> 00:54:43,704 having your family on the mortuary, 777 00:54:43,738 --> 00:54:46,272 you know, being like a goth and... 778 00:54:46,306 --> 00:54:48,308 Oh, poo! 779 00:54:48,341 --> 00:54:50,910 Sad thing, empty chalices. 780 00:54:50,944 --> 00:54:52,413 Victor, do you fancy accompanying me 781 00:54:52,446 --> 00:54:54,815 to get some punch? 782 00:54:54,848 --> 00:54:56,650 Sure! 783 00:54:56,683 --> 00:54:58,618 Come, Josephine. 784 00:54:58,652 --> 00:55:00,788 Let's all go get some punch! 785 00:55:10,464 --> 00:55:12,900 Vampires' blood, spooky. 786 00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:24,277 Well, your little friend is charming. 787 00:55:24,310 --> 00:55:26,814 Where did you find her? 788 00:55:26,846 --> 00:55:29,750 It's the neighbor girl. But a doll, isn't she? 789 00:55:32,352 --> 00:55:33,386 I stopped playing 790 00:55:33,419 --> 00:55:35,288 with dolls a long time ago, Victor. 791 00:55:36,455 --> 00:55:39,227 So, how about that Marilyn Manson, right? 792 00:55:45,765 --> 00:55:47,968 Excuse me for a moment, would you? 793 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,971 It looks as though someone's in desperate need of rescuing. 794 00:55:53,674 --> 00:55:55,243 Come, my pet! 795 00:55:57,410 --> 00:55:58,945 New project. 796 00:56:08,189 --> 00:56:09,790 I'm gonna get a drink. 797 00:56:09,823 --> 00:56:11,190 What's that? 798 00:56:11,223 --> 00:56:13,126 Said I'm gonna kill myself. 799 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,296 I can't hear you. 800 00:56:15,328 --> 00:56:16,830 This should do. 801 00:56:20,134 --> 00:56:22,737 Ouch, peachy! 802 00:56:24,971 --> 00:56:26,239 Hey Victor, you should try... 803 00:56:28,709 --> 00:56:29,977 Sorry. 804 00:56:31,879 --> 00:56:34,647 Hey, guys! What are you doing? 805 00:56:34,681 --> 00:56:37,418 Summoning the spirits. How about yourself? 806 00:56:37,451 --> 00:56:39,652 I lost Victor. 807 00:56:39,687 --> 00:56:41,054 You smell pretty fruity there. 808 00:56:41,087 --> 00:56:42,154 What's in your cup? 809 00:56:42,189 --> 00:56:43,825 It's peachy! You wanna try? 810 00:56:45,725 --> 00:56:46,993 Well, well, well. 811 00:56:47,027 --> 00:56:49,763 If it isn't America's next top Goth. 812 00:56:49,797 --> 00:56:51,799 What are you doing here? 813 00:56:51,832 --> 00:56:54,067 Slumming! Need a drink? 814 00:56:54,100 --> 00:56:56,169 I am all set. Thanks. 815 00:56:56,203 --> 00:56:58,706 What are you doing here? 816 00:56:58,739 --> 00:57:00,975 Well, if you really must know, I came with Victor. 817 00:57:02,743 --> 00:57:04,645 Have you seen him, by chance? 818 00:57:04,678 --> 00:57:07,714 You know, I'm really not that bad of a guy. 819 00:57:07,747 --> 00:57:09,349 I don't know what happened the other night. 820 00:57:09,382 --> 00:57:11,151 You guys! I don't mean to be rude, 821 00:57:11,185 --> 00:57:13,887 but we're trying to communicate with the other side here. 822 00:57:13,921 --> 00:57:16,089 Yeah. Why don't you and the Jolly Rancher 823 00:57:16,122 --> 00:57:18,058 take your conversation over there? 824 00:57:20,294 --> 00:57:21,763 Okay. 825 00:57:38,978 --> 00:57:42,181 What should I play? "Bela Lugosi's Dead"? 826 00:57:42,216 --> 00:57:43,683 Never heard of it. 827 00:57:45,451 --> 00:57:47,587 You're new to this whole Goth thing, aren't you? 828 00:57:51,123 --> 00:57:52,426 Hello, new girl. 829 00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:55,763 Oh, hey, Pandora. This is my friend, Antonio. 830 00:57:56,730 --> 00:57:58,799 Who cares? Where's Victor? 831 00:57:58,832 --> 00:58:01,669 I am looking for him too, actually. 832 00:58:02,868 --> 00:58:05,272 You know, you two are so cute together. 833 00:58:06,205 --> 00:58:08,142 Me and Victor? Thank you, Pandora. 834 00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:09,609 No, you and him. 835 00:58:12,946 --> 00:58:14,748 You wanna do shots? 836 00:58:14,781 --> 00:58:16,750 Why are you being so nice to me? 837 00:58:22,223 --> 00:58:23,224 Where is the drink? 838 00:58:23,256 --> 00:58:24,757 What are you doing with my cup? 839 00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:28,728 Okay. 840 00:58:28,761 --> 00:58:30,964 I need a cane. Don't. Stop it! 841 00:58:30,997 --> 00:58:32,165 I wanna sing. Okay. 842 00:58:32,198 --> 00:58:33,967 From the top of the strings... 843 00:58:36,035 --> 00:58:37,137 Joey! 844 00:58:37,171 --> 00:58:38,872 Joey! Joey! Joey! 845 00:58:38,904 --> 00:58:40,975 Victor, this is my friend, Antonio. 846 00:58:41,007 --> 00:58:42,877 Nice to meet... Oh, no. What I'm I talking about? 847 00:58:42,910 --> 00:58:45,413 You guys have already met, remember the graveyard? 848 00:58:45,446 --> 00:58:48,181 Yes. Good to see you again, Antonio. 849 00:58:48,214 --> 00:58:49,415 Yeah. 850 00:58:49,448 --> 00:58:50,916 It's time to go. 851 00:58:50,951 --> 00:58:53,286 What? I'm just starting to have fun. 852 00:58:53,321 --> 00:58:54,855 No, I am not going. 853 00:58:57,924 --> 00:58:59,326 I think I'm gonna retch... 854 00:59:00,426 --> 00:59:02,328 Okay. The fun is over. 855 00:59:02,361 --> 00:59:04,263 But wait. No, I don't want to go. 856 00:59:04,297 --> 00:59:05,332 No, no, no, no, no. 857 00:59:05,364 --> 00:59:08,133 See, I wanna sing with my friends and I wanna... 858 00:59:08,167 --> 00:59:10,203 Wait, where is everybody going? 859 00:59:10,236 --> 00:59:12,272 Wait! 860 00:59:12,306 --> 00:59:14,208 Okay. 861 00:59:14,241 --> 00:59:16,643 - Hey, Victor? - Yes? 862 00:59:16,676 --> 00:59:19,579 Do you think I'm a real goth? 863 00:59:20,781 --> 00:59:23,985 No, I think that you're real mess. 864 00:59:26,018 --> 00:59:27,254 Oh, sorry! 865 00:59:28,721 --> 00:59:29,957 Okay. 866 00:59:37,997 --> 00:59:40,100 Baby bats just can't hold their liquor. 867 00:59:42,301 --> 00:59:43,970 What's going on? 868 00:59:51,944 --> 00:59:52,979 Hey! 869 00:59:54,314 --> 00:59:56,382 Yeah, me too. 870 00:59:56,417 --> 00:59:58,185 Listen, I can't talk right now. 871 00:59:59,986 --> 01:00:03,056 Okay, good night, beautiful. 872 01:00:11,899 --> 01:00:13,401 Antonio, it's never gonna happen. 873 01:00:42,629 --> 01:00:44,899 Say something and I will get back to you. Maybe. 874 01:00:45,866 --> 01:00:46,934 Hey, Victor. 875 01:00:48,368 --> 01:00:51,972 I think I might owe you an apology or something. 876 01:00:52,973 --> 01:00:54,275 Call me, okay? 877 01:01:03,451 --> 01:01:05,986 Thought you might need a strong cup of Joe this morning. 878 01:01:06,018 --> 01:01:08,022 Thank you, yeah. 879 01:01:18,131 --> 01:01:21,868 Oh. Oh, God, curse the light. No, no. 880 01:01:23,036 --> 01:01:26,073 How about joining me for a dance class later, huh? 881 01:01:26,105 --> 01:01:27,741 Might be good to sweat it out. 882 01:01:27,774 --> 01:01:31,144 Yeah, and it also might be good to stay in bed all day. 883 01:01:32,312 --> 01:01:34,413 Maybe it's not exercise you need, 884 01:01:34,446 --> 01:01:37,017 maybe it's an exorcism. 885 01:01:37,051 --> 01:01:40,621 - What? - We've tried everything else. 886 01:01:41,721 --> 01:01:44,123 Maybe it is time to call in a priest. 887 01:01:44,158 --> 01:01:45,226 Okay, very funny. 888 01:01:45,259 --> 01:01:46,961 No, I'm not joking. 889 01:01:48,828 --> 01:01:50,096 I'm pretty sure 890 01:01:50,129 --> 01:01:53,800 you're possessed by a soul-devouring demon. 891 01:01:53,834 --> 01:01:55,167 What else would make you stay out all night 892 01:01:55,201 --> 01:01:56,770 keeping us up with worry? 893 01:01:56,803 --> 01:01:58,771 What else would make you get drunk? 894 01:01:58,805 --> 01:02:01,075 And do drugs in our home? 895 01:02:02,109 --> 01:02:03,109 Why? 896 01:02:03,143 --> 01:02:06,179 Oh, why are you still chasing after that boy? 897 01:02:06,212 --> 01:02:09,114 Victor doesn't care a flying flip about you. 898 01:02:09,149 --> 01:02:11,719 Okay, how I feel shittier. 899 01:02:12,819 --> 01:02:14,587 That's the demon. 900 01:02:15,689 --> 01:02:17,658 You might wanna to look into that. 901 01:03:09,743 --> 01:03:10,844 Hello, Victor? 902 01:03:10,877 --> 01:03:13,312 Oh, hey! Finally, she answers. 903 01:03:13,346 --> 01:03:14,346 Are you alive? 904 01:03:14,381 --> 01:03:17,750 Are your grandparents taking for care of you? 905 01:03:17,783 --> 01:03:19,385 What is it I hear about a boy? 906 01:03:19,419 --> 01:03:20,819 Are you using protection? 907 01:03:20,853 --> 01:03:22,388 - Jesus, Mom. - What? 908 01:03:22,422 --> 01:03:24,958 I know what a summer fling is like. 909 01:03:24,991 --> 01:03:26,360 It's not a fling. Okay? 910 01:03:27,995 --> 01:03:30,263 Oh, it's not a fling. So, it's serious. 911 01:03:30,297 --> 01:03:31,865 What, after a month and a half? 912 01:03:31,899 --> 01:03:34,267 Was there a point to this phone call, Mother? 913 01:03:34,301 --> 01:03:36,837 I'm just calling to tell my daughter that I love her. 914 01:03:37,870 --> 01:03:40,373 Is that for me or for the fans? Later, Mom. 915 01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:46,247 Ah, that is such a nice thing to say, honey. 916 01:03:47,281 --> 01:03:48,782 Okay, well, talk to you tomorrow. 917 01:03:50,450 --> 01:03:52,152 And who should I make this out to? 918 01:03:56,290 --> 01:03:57,558 What is he doing? 919 01:03:58,725 --> 01:04:00,227 OMG, it totally feels like we're detectives right now. 920 01:04:00,259 --> 01:04:01,895 Focus! 921 01:04:03,997 --> 01:04:06,132 He's smoking. 922 01:04:06,165 --> 01:04:07,767 Ew. 923 01:04:07,801 --> 01:04:09,902 You fell for a smoker, that doesn't seem like you. 924 01:04:09,937 --> 01:04:12,238 I wouldn't say that I'd fallen for him exactly. 925 01:04:12,272 --> 01:04:14,408 You're stalking him with your best friend, 926 01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:16,276 you're so totally. 927 01:04:17,810 --> 01:04:20,314 Here. Let me look at him. 928 01:04:25,018 --> 01:04:27,187 He's so goth. 929 01:04:31,890 --> 01:04:33,193 I don't trust the look of him, Joey. 930 01:04:34,426 --> 01:04:37,363 Yeah, I know what you mean. 931 01:04:37,397 --> 01:04:39,966 Who's ready for a little fun in the forest? 932 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,735 How are the good horror films start. 933 01:04:42,768 --> 01:04:44,671 It's him! 934 01:04:47,073 --> 01:04:48,642 He knows we're watching him. 935 01:04:49,776 --> 01:04:52,346 Girls, we're loading the car. 936 01:04:52,379 --> 01:04:55,082 "Have you ever done it in the woods?" 937 01:04:56,382 --> 01:04:59,118 Girls, I can hear everything you're saying. 938 01:05:03,689 --> 01:05:04,991 - Okay. - Okay. 939 01:05:10,230 --> 01:05:11,665 What about Victor? 940 01:05:15,301 --> 01:05:16,401 Hey there! 941 01:05:16,435 --> 01:05:18,337 I wanted you two to finally meet. 942 01:05:18,372 --> 01:05:20,040 I'm the BFF. 943 01:05:21,709 --> 01:05:25,044 You were pretty trashed the other night, weren't you? 944 01:05:25,078 --> 01:05:27,080 I tried calling you. 945 01:05:27,113 --> 01:05:28,881 I left my phone at Pandora's. 946 01:05:30,450 --> 01:05:31,350 I was worried 947 01:05:31,384 --> 01:05:33,252 that I might have done permanent damage. 948 01:05:33,286 --> 01:05:34,821 I mean, when I woke up the next morning, 949 01:05:34,855 --> 01:05:37,123 I wasn't even sure how I got home. 950 01:05:37,156 --> 01:05:39,292 Well, that sounds like quite a night. 951 01:05:39,326 --> 01:05:40,761 It wasn't. 952 01:05:44,163 --> 01:05:46,932 You look like a couple of dead honeymooners 953 01:05:46,966 --> 01:05:48,701 from one of Margaret's ghost stories. 954 01:05:48,734 --> 01:05:50,402 Thank you. 955 01:05:50,437 --> 01:05:53,841 Joey, get your little friends stop scaring 956 01:05:53,873 --> 01:05:56,676 the other campers and help us set up. Okay? 957 01:05:58,178 --> 01:05:59,779 Hi, I'm Molly. 958 01:05:59,812 --> 01:06:01,281 Enchantée! 959 01:06:04,017 --> 01:06:06,654 You've got to be kidding me, right? 960 01:06:11,189 --> 01:06:12,759 - Ready, Margaret? - Yeah. 961 01:06:12,792 --> 01:06:15,294 Oh, we're so terrible! 962 01:06:44,757 --> 01:06:46,225 That was unexpected. 963 01:06:46,259 --> 01:06:48,261 I know, but kind of fun, right? 964 01:06:48,294 --> 01:06:50,631 Well, he doesn't seem to think so. 965 01:07:02,042 --> 01:07:06,379 And the beast had recently acquired a mate. 966 01:07:06,411 --> 01:07:08,681 And she gave birth 967 01:07:08,714 --> 01:07:11,984 to a brood of little beautiful beasties. 968 01:07:13,285 --> 01:07:16,322 And they were ravenous. 969 01:07:16,355 --> 01:07:17,390 And the beast knew 970 01:07:17,424 --> 01:07:20,794 he had to find fresh blood, 971 01:07:20,826 --> 01:07:25,866 guts and gore to feed his little family. 972 01:07:26,866 --> 01:07:28,368 So, he put his nose to the air... 973 01:07:29,870 --> 01:07:31,404 ...and sniffed. 974 01:07:32,739 --> 01:07:34,875 and ferreted out 975 01:07:34,908 --> 01:07:38,145 a bitter venom. 976 01:07:38,178 --> 01:07:42,049 It was a mile away, but the beast could smell him. 977 01:07:42,082 --> 01:07:44,417 So, he tracked him down, 978 01:07:44,451 --> 01:07:46,286 and charged, 979 01:07:46,319 --> 01:07:49,789 and gouged out an eyeball, and he wanted to devour it. 980 01:07:51,757 --> 01:07:53,794 - Woo! - Jesus, Joey! 981 01:07:55,094 --> 01:07:56,062 You scared me. 982 01:07:56,096 --> 01:07:57,096 You think that was scary? 983 01:07:57,129 --> 01:07:59,398 You should hear one of Margaret's ghost stories. 984 01:07:59,431 --> 01:08:01,768 I think Pen's half a shade whiter. 985 01:08:03,268 --> 01:08:05,671 You want to get out of here? 986 01:08:06,906 --> 01:08:08,408 What do you mean? 987 01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:10,710 There's this club thing happening tonight. 988 01:08:10,743 --> 01:08:12,044 I think it might be fun. 989 01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:16,016 Oh, I don't know. 990 01:08:16,049 --> 01:08:18,719 It doesn't seem right somehow. 991 01:08:19,986 --> 01:08:23,223 Does it seem... wrong? 992 01:08:24,290 --> 01:08:28,394 And then the beast disemboweled her 993 01:08:28,428 --> 01:08:30,263 and strung up 994 01:08:30,295 --> 01:08:32,264 her freshly murdered cadaver 995 01:08:32,299 --> 01:08:35,368 with her own hands. 996 01:08:35,402 --> 01:08:38,305 Carving his name into the earth below 997 01:08:38,337 --> 01:08:41,707 as a warning to all future campers 998 01:08:41,741 --> 01:08:43,844 who dared to enter 999 01:08:43,876 --> 01:08:47,380 his forest home again! 1000 01:08:49,782 --> 01:08:53,252 Wooh! Wooh! 1001 01:08:54,888 --> 01:08:56,823 I'm giving you honorary goth status 1002 01:08:56,857 --> 01:08:59,225 for that macabre and wonderful tale, Margaret. 1003 01:09:00,426 --> 01:09:04,063 You guys feel like hitting the club Medusa tonight? 1004 01:09:04,096 --> 01:09:06,631 Actually, we're kinda having fun here. 1005 01:09:06,666 --> 01:09:08,635 We'll catch it next month. 1006 01:09:08,667 --> 01:09:10,136 What's club Medusa? 1007 01:09:10,170 --> 01:09:14,341 Okay, kids, we're going to turn in. 1008 01:09:14,373 --> 01:09:16,309 Don't stay up too late! 1009 01:09:22,448 --> 01:09:24,116 Can I borrow your car? 1010 01:09:24,151 --> 01:09:25,919 Promise we'll take real good care of it. 1011 01:09:30,023 --> 01:09:32,659 So, you're really just going to leave everyone? 1012 01:09:33,693 --> 01:09:37,097 Um, yeah, there's this party thing. 1013 01:09:37,130 --> 01:09:38,699 Let's go. 1014 01:09:40,332 --> 01:09:42,102 Wait! Molly's gonna come with us. 1015 01:09:42,135 --> 01:09:44,871 She's dying to go to club Medusa. 1016 01:09:44,903 --> 01:09:46,572 I am? 1017 01:10:01,654 --> 01:10:03,389 You look amazing tonight, Joey. 1018 01:10:04,456 --> 01:10:06,058 I wish I could be you. 1019 01:10:06,091 --> 01:10:07,727 I don't feel amazing. 1020 01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:09,796 I feel like I just ditched everyone. 1021 01:10:09,828 --> 01:10:11,831 You did just ditch everyone. 1022 01:10:12,864 --> 01:10:16,068 You chose me over them. 1023 01:10:16,102 --> 01:10:18,136 I mean, who wouldn't? 1024 01:10:18,170 --> 01:10:19,772 Just look at me. 1025 01:10:22,142 --> 01:10:24,010 Then again... 1026 01:10:24,944 --> 01:10:26,779 ...just look at you. 1027 01:10:30,983 --> 01:10:34,388 Tonight is gonna be out of control. 1028 01:10:40,260 --> 01:10:41,762 What the hell? 1029 01:10:44,264 --> 01:10:46,666 Come on. 1030 01:10:46,700 --> 01:10:48,035 Everyone's waiting. 1031 01:10:48,068 --> 01:10:49,937 Who's everyone? 1032 01:10:52,037 --> 01:10:55,674 Are you sure you don't want to change? 1033 01:10:55,707 --> 01:10:58,245 I bet you say that to all the girls. 1034 01:11:22,335 --> 01:11:24,136 I'm going to dance. 1035 01:11:26,038 --> 01:11:29,943 Are you ever going to hit the concept of reapplying? 1036 01:11:33,345 --> 01:11:34,880 Why are you still going out with him? 1037 01:11:34,913 --> 01:11:36,683 I'm not going out with him. 1038 01:11:36,715 --> 01:11:38,184 But you're still hanging out with him? 1039 01:11:38,218 --> 01:11:41,287 Joey, you look beautiful. It's okay. 1040 01:11:41,321 --> 01:11:46,660 - Hey, what were you doing? - Come on! 1041 01:11:48,728 --> 01:11:51,364 - You wanna dance? - Okay. 1042 01:11:51,398 --> 01:11:53,666 I'm gonna find the bathroom. 1043 01:11:53,700 --> 01:11:55,035 Okay. 1044 01:11:58,104 --> 01:12:00,841 Excuse me! Sorry! Sorry! Excuse me! Excuse me! 1045 01:12:04,743 --> 01:12:06,246 Looking rather fetching tonight. 1046 01:12:06,278 --> 01:12:08,348 - Are you with Victor? - Sort of. 1047 01:12:09,815 --> 01:12:11,218 Are you okay? 1048 01:12:11,251 --> 01:12:12,786 I have no idea. 1049 01:12:15,221 --> 01:12:17,090 Oh, God! I'm... 1050 01:12:17,122 --> 01:12:19,192 Is everything okay? 1051 01:12:19,225 --> 01:12:22,728 This night has gotten very confusing very fast, sorry. 1052 01:12:22,761 --> 01:12:23,964 Excuse me. 1053 01:12:38,711 --> 01:12:40,146 You've gotta be kidding me. 1054 01:13:05,171 --> 01:13:06,372 Nice, dude. 1055 01:13:07,305 --> 01:13:10,042 Hey, look what we've got here. 1056 01:13:10,076 --> 01:13:13,645 Oh, why are you so sad little goth chick? 1057 01:13:13,679 --> 01:13:15,982 Did your DVD of "The Craft" get scratched? 1058 01:13:16,014 --> 01:13:17,783 Douchebag. 1059 01:13:17,817 --> 01:13:20,219 What did you just say to me? 1060 01:13:20,252 --> 01:13:21,787 Say it again. 1061 01:13:23,156 --> 01:13:25,358 I said, I bet you love 1062 01:13:25,392 --> 01:13:27,426 giving your boyfriend's mullet a little tug 1063 01:13:27,460 --> 01:13:28,995 every time you blow him. 1064 01:13:29,028 --> 01:13:31,363 You did not just say that you feisty little freak! 1065 01:13:31,398 --> 01:13:33,733 - What are you doing? - Little tailgate party. 1066 01:13:33,765 --> 01:13:35,768 You guys sure know how to treat a lady. 1067 01:13:35,801 --> 01:13:36,935 I'm sorry, buddy. 1068 01:13:36,970 --> 01:13:38,071 I already got myself a date. 1069 01:13:38,104 --> 01:13:39,772 With your mother or your sister? 1070 01:13:39,805 --> 01:13:42,308 You wanna say that to my fist? 1071 01:13:42,341 --> 01:13:44,242 Okay, once more with feeling. 1072 01:13:44,277 --> 01:13:45,578 Oh, shit, run! 1073 01:13:47,179 --> 01:13:48,748 That's what I thought. 1074 01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:51,851 Thank you. 1075 01:13:51,884 --> 01:13:54,953 Oh, come on now. Us freaks have to stick together. 1076 01:13:54,987 --> 01:13:56,956 Oh, my God, are you okay? 1077 01:13:56,989 --> 01:13:59,192 I'll just, like, go sit or something. 1078 01:14:07,933 --> 01:14:10,636 So, what's going on with you and Victor? 1079 01:14:10,670 --> 01:14:13,206 So, what's going on with you and that guy from the club? 1080 01:14:15,907 --> 01:14:17,042 So, what's going on with your friend 1081 01:14:17,076 --> 01:14:18,377 and that guy from the future? 1082 01:14:23,349 --> 01:14:25,318 Come on, I'll take you two back to the campground. 1083 01:14:31,256 --> 01:14:32,725 Let's go! 1084 01:15:18,203 --> 01:15:19,971 What is it I hear about a boy? 1085 01:15:20,005 --> 01:15:21,774 I don't trust his look, Joey! 1086 01:15:21,808 --> 01:15:24,978 Get drunk and do drugs in our home! 1087 01:15:25,010 --> 01:15:26,211 Feisty little freak! 1088 01:15:26,245 --> 01:15:27,080 What are you doing? 1089 01:15:27,112 --> 01:15:28,780 Are you ever going to get 1090 01:15:28,814 --> 01:15:31,151 the concept of reapplying? 1091 01:15:31,184 --> 01:15:34,687 Come on now, us freaks got to stick together. 1092 01:15:34,720 --> 01:15:37,122 You two are so cute together. 1093 01:15:37,157 --> 01:15:38,692 Why are you still hanging out with him? 1094 01:15:38,724 --> 01:15:40,125 Just help me! 1095 01:15:51,437 --> 01:15:53,006 Sorry about your dad, Joey! 1096 01:15:58,879 --> 01:16:00,613 I bet you're excited to finally go home. 1097 01:16:02,380 --> 01:16:04,216 Dad? 1098 01:16:05,852 --> 01:16:07,287 Go home? 1099 01:16:08,955 --> 01:16:10,857 Honey, school starts in a few weeks. 1100 01:16:14,794 --> 01:16:16,196 Wow. 1101 01:16:17,263 --> 01:16:18,931 I don't know, I just... 1102 01:16:18,965 --> 01:16:21,735 I guess I didn't think this summer would end so soon. 1103 01:16:22,868 --> 01:16:24,371 You're going to have to say goodbye to summer 1104 01:16:24,403 --> 01:16:25,705 sometime, Joey. 1105 01:16:37,916 --> 01:16:39,618 Dad? 1106 01:16:57,136 --> 01:16:58,638 Bye, Molly! 1107 01:16:58,670 --> 01:17:00,739 It was nice to having Molly over. 1108 01:17:02,440 --> 01:17:06,245 Oh, any idea what happened to Victor? 1109 01:17:06,278 --> 01:17:07,746 No idea. 1110 01:17:09,815 --> 01:17:11,684 Oh, your mom called. 1111 01:17:11,716 --> 01:17:14,786 She's definitely gonna make it back in time for the party. 1112 01:17:14,821 --> 01:17:17,724 Wow! Is that supposed to make me feel better? 1113 01:17:18,925 --> 01:17:20,393 God! 1114 01:17:24,397 --> 01:17:27,033 Hey, guys! What are you doing? 1115 01:17:27,065 --> 01:17:29,434 - Sacrificing Virgins? - What? 1116 01:17:29,468 --> 01:17:31,171 Oh, we're just trying to decide a band name. 1117 01:17:31,203 --> 01:17:33,773 What do you think of Sacrificing Virgins? 1118 01:17:33,805 --> 01:17:35,040 It's a little close to home. 1119 01:17:35,075 --> 01:17:37,277 So, not exactly a deal breaker. 1120 01:17:38,309 --> 01:17:39,678 We have no idea where Victor is, 1121 01:17:39,711 --> 01:17:41,346 if that's what you're about to ask us. 1122 01:17:41,380 --> 01:17:43,382 And even if we heard a rumor that he was 1123 01:17:43,415 --> 01:17:46,319 at Pandora's, we certainly wouldn't tell you. 1124 01:17:48,287 --> 01:17:51,123 Oh, the tragic unveiling of misguided teenage hearts. 1125 01:17:51,157 --> 01:17:52,692 - That's it! - What's it? 1126 01:17:52,724 --> 01:17:54,993 The Tragic Unveiling Of Misguided Teenager Hearts. 1127 01:17:55,027 --> 01:17:55,995 That's the name of our band. 1128 01:17:56,028 --> 01:17:57,296 You're a genius. 1129 01:18:08,174 --> 01:18:09,375 Hello? 1130 01:18:09,407 --> 01:18:11,343 Victor, I know you're in here. 1131 01:18:11,376 --> 01:18:12,678 Hello? 1132 01:18:14,246 --> 01:18:17,315 Sorry! Oh, my God. Pandora, I was just looking for Victor. 1133 01:18:17,349 --> 01:18:20,852 Yeah. Well, obviously, 1134 01:18:20,885 --> 01:18:22,187 he is not in here. 1135 01:18:23,389 --> 01:18:25,291 But if you leave my house this instant, 1136 01:18:25,325 --> 01:18:27,358 I promise that I won't call the cops on you 1137 01:18:27,393 --> 01:18:28,761 for breaking and entering. 1138 01:18:29,929 --> 01:18:31,598 Okay, sorry! My mistake. 1139 01:18:34,433 --> 01:18:36,100 All right, she's gone. 1140 01:18:36,135 --> 01:18:37,971 You can come on now. 1141 01:18:40,706 --> 01:18:41,875 That was close. 1142 01:18:50,282 --> 01:18:52,017 I'm such an idiot. 1143 01:19:01,794 --> 01:19:03,028 Got it! 1144 01:19:07,966 --> 01:19:09,067 Don't tell me you're having feelings 1145 01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:11,004 for your toys now, are you? 1146 01:19:14,072 --> 01:19:15,340 No. 1147 01:19:19,845 --> 01:19:21,147 Mimi? 1148 01:19:23,416 --> 01:19:24,951 Papa? 1149 01:19:26,452 --> 01:19:27,986 Is anybody home? 1150 01:19:33,893 --> 01:19:35,761 You've reached the goddess Pen, whatever you say 1151 01:19:35,795 --> 01:19:37,596 after the beep shall determine your fate. 1152 01:19:38,363 --> 01:19:41,201 Hi, Pen. Um... 1153 01:19:41,233 --> 01:19:42,434 I really need a friend right now, 1154 01:19:42,468 --> 01:19:44,403 so call me back, okay? 1155 01:19:57,750 --> 01:19:59,419 You've reached reached Carissa Javitts. 1156 01:19:59,452 --> 01:20:00,920 Please leave your message after the tone. 1157 01:20:02,287 --> 01:20:03,889 Mom. 1158 01:20:05,757 --> 01:20:07,260 Listen, I know that you're probably 1159 01:20:07,292 --> 01:20:09,194 at the airport right now, but, um... 1160 01:20:12,031 --> 01:20:13,232 I need my mother. 1161 01:22:16,455 --> 01:22:17,855 What are you doing here? 1162 01:22:17,889 --> 01:22:19,124 You know. 1163 01:22:20,224 --> 01:22:21,928 Just looking for some trouble. 1164 01:22:23,694 --> 01:22:25,063 So, what are you doing out here in the middle 1165 01:22:25,098 --> 01:22:26,631 of the night anyway? 1166 01:22:26,665 --> 01:22:28,401 That's a good question. 1167 01:22:28,434 --> 01:22:29,735 You were hoping Victor would come 1168 01:22:29,768 --> 01:22:31,004 looking for you, maybe? 1169 01:22:32,270 --> 01:22:34,372 Another good question. 1170 01:22:34,407 --> 01:22:36,108 Look, you're not the only one 1171 01:22:36,140 --> 01:22:38,809 who sat here waiting for him. 1172 01:22:38,844 --> 01:22:41,212 You weren't even gonna be here. 1173 01:22:41,246 --> 01:22:43,149 You punched me last time I saw you. 1174 01:22:43,181 --> 01:22:46,184 No, you're not invited, get over it! 1175 01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:50,622 I was pretty lovesick, too. 1176 01:22:50,656 --> 01:22:52,091 I guess he didn't tell you that. 1177 01:22:53,459 --> 01:22:55,193 Come on, tell Antonio everything. 1178 01:22:57,028 --> 01:22:58,397 Victor treated me like I was 1179 01:22:58,430 --> 01:23:00,632 his little summer project. 1180 01:23:00,666 --> 01:23:02,935 I want you to be perfect. 1181 01:23:05,971 --> 01:23:07,773 Did I even mean anything to him? 1182 01:23:09,108 --> 01:23:10,142 Well, let's see! 1183 01:23:10,175 --> 01:23:11,876 You're in a graveyard in the middle of the night 1184 01:23:11,910 --> 01:23:13,078 by yourself. 1185 01:23:13,112 --> 01:23:14,913 There's a positively menacing punk 1186 01:23:14,947 --> 01:23:17,049 with a knife sitting next to you. 1187 01:23:17,082 --> 01:23:19,786 And Victor's not exactly looking for you right now. 1188 01:23:19,818 --> 01:23:21,886 Do you know what I mean? 1189 01:23:21,920 --> 01:23:23,221 Yeah! I suppose. 1190 01:23:24,389 --> 01:23:26,023 Now, can I ask you a question? 1191 01:23:26,058 --> 01:23:27,660 You're the one with the knife. 1192 01:23:29,228 --> 01:23:32,765 If you're not his project, then who are you really? 1193 01:23:34,366 --> 01:23:39,272 Come on, you got this, you're smart, you're hot. 1194 01:23:39,304 --> 01:23:41,239 Don't let some guy tell you who you are. 1195 01:23:41,273 --> 01:23:44,143 You have to decide for yourself who you are, you know? 1196 01:23:45,678 --> 01:23:49,113 I've learned one thing about myself this summer, 1197 01:23:49,147 --> 01:23:51,216 I deserve better than Victor. 1198 01:23:52,684 --> 01:23:53,951 I don't think that's the only thing 1199 01:23:53,986 --> 01:23:56,054 you learned about yourself this summer, but, hey, 1200 01:23:56,087 --> 01:23:57,689 That's a good start! 1201 01:23:57,723 --> 01:23:59,858 Yeah. I guess you're right. 1202 01:23:59,890 --> 01:24:02,059 How did you get to be so wise? 1203 01:24:02,094 --> 01:24:03,996 My mom buys Oprah magazines, 1204 01:24:04,028 --> 01:24:05,598 I read 'em on the can sometimes. 1205 01:24:06,864 --> 01:24:08,968 Wait, does that make me gay? 1206 01:24:10,169 --> 01:24:11,304 You got to decide for yourself 1207 01:24:11,336 --> 01:24:13,004 who you are, you know? 1208 01:24:13,037 --> 01:24:14,172 Touché! 1209 01:24:20,712 --> 01:24:23,081 Get off my baby girl! You thug! 1210 01:24:23,114 --> 01:24:25,283 You screwed with the wrong family. 1211 01:24:25,317 --> 01:24:26,919 - Are you all right? - I'm fine! 1212 01:24:26,952 --> 01:24:29,254 Your mom called and said you left a strange message. 1213 01:24:29,287 --> 01:24:31,889 - We were really worried. - I'm good now, promise, 1214 01:24:31,922 --> 01:24:34,925 no one need worry, least of all my mother. 1215 01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,362 Can we please get out of here? 1216 01:24:36,394 --> 01:24:38,263 I'm like, way claustrophobic. 1217 01:24:38,296 --> 01:24:40,732 Great idea! When we get to be our age, 1218 01:24:40,765 --> 01:24:44,202 the last place you want to hang out is the cemetery. 1219 01:24:54,813 --> 01:24:56,415 Where have you guys been? 1220 01:24:56,447 --> 01:24:58,250 Rescuing teenagers. 1221 01:24:58,283 --> 01:24:59,984 I've been here for over an hour, 1222 01:25:00,018 --> 01:25:01,886 none of you have your phones on. 1223 01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,390 Did you get anything to eat on the plane? 1224 01:25:04,422 --> 01:25:05,992 No, I'm starving. 1225 01:25:06,024 --> 01:25:08,727 Honey, I'm so glad you're back. 1226 01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:10,696 Aww, thanks Mom! 1227 01:25:10,729 --> 01:25:12,964 Listen, we'll get dinner started, 1228 01:25:12,997 --> 01:25:15,268 so you two can catch up. 1229 01:25:20,872 --> 01:25:22,908 Oh, honey. It's so good to see you. 1230 01:25:29,648 --> 01:25:30,882 Did you miss me? 1231 01:25:35,453 --> 01:25:37,790 I got your message. 1232 01:25:37,822 --> 01:25:39,224 What was that all about? 1233 01:25:40,658 --> 01:25:42,862 Jesus! What is it with you? 1234 01:25:42,894 --> 01:25:45,730 You're annoyed if I don't call, you're annoyed if I do. 1235 01:25:45,764 --> 01:25:47,232 Oh, Joey, don't start with me. 1236 01:25:48,367 --> 01:25:50,136 You have no idea how much pressure it is 1237 01:25:50,169 --> 01:25:51,937 to be on a book tour. 1238 01:25:51,970 --> 01:25:54,139 You have no idea how much pressure it is 1239 01:25:54,171 --> 01:25:55,640 to be 16. 1240 01:25:57,876 --> 01:25:59,745 Like I've never been a teenager. 1241 01:26:03,415 --> 01:26:07,952 So, what's with all the black? 1242 01:26:07,986 --> 01:26:09,421 I wear black on the outside, 1243 01:26:09,453 --> 01:26:11,357 because black is how I feel on the inside. 1244 01:26:12,724 --> 01:26:15,961 That's very dramatic. 1245 01:26:15,995 --> 01:26:17,629 What's his name? 1246 01:26:17,662 --> 01:26:20,398 His name is Victor, and he broke my heart. 1247 01:26:20,433 --> 01:26:21,966 Thank you very much. 1248 01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:24,035 Oh, honey! 1249 01:26:24,068 --> 01:26:27,138 You look like you just came from a funeral. 1250 01:26:27,171 --> 01:26:28,840 A funeral? 1251 01:26:28,873 --> 01:26:30,175 I kind of just did, Mom! 1252 01:26:30,207 --> 01:26:31,978 You were there too, remember? 1253 01:26:33,112 --> 01:26:36,614 You think I don't miss him? 1254 01:26:36,648 --> 01:26:39,351 I miss him every single day, 1255 01:26:39,385 --> 01:26:43,188 and I really don't appreciate you throwing that in my face. 1256 01:26:43,220 --> 01:26:45,924 And I'm sure your throng of adoring fans 1257 01:26:45,957 --> 01:26:48,227 has helped you through this grieving process. 1258 01:26:48,260 --> 01:26:50,896 That throng of adoring fans pays 1259 01:26:50,929 --> 01:26:52,998 for your entire life. 1260 01:26:53,031 --> 01:26:54,265 You know, it wouldn't kill you to show 1261 01:26:54,300 --> 01:26:56,302 just a little bit of gratitude. 1262 01:26:58,903 --> 01:27:00,171 And I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you 1263 01:27:00,205 --> 01:27:01,940 - with your boy troubles. - No, no, no, no. 1264 01:27:01,974 --> 01:27:04,076 Let's talk about gratitude a little bit, 1265 01:27:04,108 --> 01:27:06,946 because you know what I'm grateful for? 1266 01:27:06,979 --> 01:27:08,847 I'm grateful that I didn't have to spend 1267 01:27:08,880 --> 01:27:12,017 my summer listening to your saccharine bullshit. 1268 01:27:12,050 --> 01:27:13,685 You know, I feel sorry for the shallow idiots 1269 01:27:13,719 --> 01:27:15,688 who read your shitty novels. 1270 01:27:25,831 --> 01:27:27,632 Want dinner? 1271 01:27:30,202 --> 01:27:31,804 I'm not hungry. 1272 01:27:33,237 --> 01:27:34,706 Yeah. 1273 01:27:51,156 --> 01:27:52,658 I hope she wasn't a total handful 1274 01:27:52,690 --> 01:27:54,827 this summer, Mom. 1275 01:27:54,859 --> 01:27:58,697 I'm probably at least partly to blame for that. 1276 01:27:58,730 --> 01:28:02,001 Sometimes we push people away 1277 01:28:02,033 --> 01:28:04,737 and we really should be pulling them in close. 1278 01:28:06,104 --> 01:28:07,238 - Boo! - Oh! 1279 01:28:07,273 --> 01:28:10,676 Jesus! Dad! 1280 01:28:10,709 --> 01:28:12,376 What am I going to do about this new phase, you guys? 1281 01:28:12,411 --> 01:28:15,047 Accept her for who she is, 1282 01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:17,649 and hope for the best. 1283 01:28:17,683 --> 01:28:18,984 That's what we did 1284 01:28:19,017 --> 01:28:22,421 when you were a Madonna wannabe. 1285 01:28:22,453 --> 01:28:24,755 Look how cool you turned out. 1286 01:28:24,790 --> 01:28:26,056 Come in! 1287 01:28:26,090 --> 01:28:28,893 This way for the punch and brownies. 1288 01:28:38,269 --> 01:28:41,639 Can you watch the door for a minute, please? 1289 01:28:41,674 --> 01:28:43,975 We need to get this party moving, huh. 1290 01:28:48,813 --> 01:28:51,182 Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ireland, come on in! 1291 01:28:51,215 --> 01:28:54,185 Watch out for the brownies, there have been rumours. 1292 01:28:54,219 --> 01:28:55,888 Why do you think we are here, dear? 1293 01:28:58,857 --> 01:29:02,160 I see they'll let any old vampire in here. 1294 01:29:02,193 --> 01:29:03,728 Hold that thought. 1295 01:29:05,296 --> 01:29:07,031 Surprise! 1296 01:29:07,064 --> 01:29:08,433 What are you guys doing here? 1297 01:29:08,466 --> 01:29:11,103 Oh, I heard about the party from these freaks. 1298 01:29:11,135 --> 01:29:12,370 Come on, Tony-Boy, let's get some punch 1299 01:29:12,403 --> 01:29:13,839 and frighten the old people. 1300 01:29:20,045 --> 01:29:24,149 So, where did you disappear to the other night? 1301 01:29:24,183 --> 01:29:25,651 Is that a joke? 1302 01:29:25,684 --> 01:29:28,887 I left you like a dozen voicemails. 1303 01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:30,055 I missed you too, my pet. 1304 01:29:30,087 --> 01:29:31,857 I did not say that I missed you. 1305 01:29:33,224 --> 01:29:35,093 No, I cannot believe that I fell for you. 1306 01:29:35,126 --> 01:29:37,361 I mean, what a total waste of a summer. 1307 01:29:37,395 --> 01:29:41,300 I turned you into something almost borderline interesting. 1308 01:29:41,332 --> 01:29:43,100 - You should be thanking me. - Really? 1309 01:29:43,135 --> 01:29:46,672 - Hey! Are you Victor? - Mom, not now! 1310 01:29:46,705 --> 01:29:50,175 Oh, this is your mother, the famous novelist. 1311 01:29:50,209 --> 01:29:53,711 Mrs. Javitts, it's an honour, I am a huge fan. 1312 01:29:53,745 --> 01:29:54,913 So, you read my book? 1313 01:29:54,947 --> 01:29:56,248 Absolutely! Every one. 1314 01:29:56,281 --> 01:29:58,384 Well, that makes complete sense then! 1315 01:30:00,019 --> 01:30:01,120 How's that? 1316 01:30:01,153 --> 01:30:03,622 Because my daughter says that my books are written 1317 01:30:03,656 --> 01:30:05,123 for shallow idiots. 1318 01:30:08,359 --> 01:30:11,697 I'm sorry, did you just call me a shallow idiot? 1319 01:30:11,729 --> 01:30:13,064 I'm just saying that my daughter 1320 01:30:13,099 --> 01:30:15,267 is right more often than I would like to admit. 1321 01:30:16,768 --> 01:30:17,736 In fact, you know, 1322 01:30:17,769 --> 01:30:19,304 I think I can do better than shallow idiot. 1323 01:30:19,337 --> 01:30:21,040 If I were to describe you in one of my novels, 1324 01:30:21,072 --> 01:30:24,108 I think I'd call you a vainglorious egomaniacal 1325 01:30:24,142 --> 01:30:25,777 narcissist. 1326 01:30:25,810 --> 01:30:28,714 You are but a phase, my dear boy. 1327 01:30:28,746 --> 01:30:31,048 A mere case of temporary proctalgia, 1328 01:30:31,082 --> 01:30:33,818 cleared up by a tube of drugstore haemorrhoid cream. 1329 01:30:33,852 --> 01:30:35,621 Ooh! 1330 01:30:35,653 --> 01:30:37,855 So, I think you better go. 1331 01:30:37,889 --> 01:30:40,893 Oh, and Victor. Time to reapply! 1332 01:30:45,362 --> 01:30:46,698 Where did that come from? 1333 01:30:48,466 --> 01:30:49,801 A wise woman once told me 1334 01:30:49,835 --> 01:30:51,303 that sometimes we push people away 1335 01:30:51,336 --> 01:30:54,773 when we got to bring them closer. 1336 01:30:54,806 --> 01:30:57,041 I just want you to know that I'm always on your side. 1337 01:30:59,176 --> 01:31:01,912 By the way, proctalgia? 1338 01:31:01,947 --> 01:31:04,783 Just another medical term for pain in the ass. 1339 01:31:04,815 --> 01:31:07,952 It's another thing your grandmother taught me. 1340 01:31:07,986 --> 01:31:11,689 So, you guys, the big news is, 1341 01:31:11,723 --> 01:31:14,193 that I'm gonna cancel the second half of my book tour. 1342 01:31:14,225 --> 01:31:16,126 Really, dear? Is that wise? 1343 01:31:16,161 --> 01:31:19,264 You don't have to do that for me, Mom. 1344 01:31:19,297 --> 01:31:21,099 Yeah, I do. 1345 01:31:23,068 --> 01:31:25,371 Are you guys ready to get this party started? 1346 01:31:27,773 --> 01:31:29,708 This thing on? Hi! 1347 01:31:29,741 --> 01:31:32,077 I would just like to welcome everyone and to congratulate 1348 01:31:32,109 --> 01:31:34,813 my amazing grandparents, Joseph and Margaret, 1349 01:31:34,845 --> 01:31:36,747 on 40 years of marriage. 1350 01:31:38,215 --> 01:31:40,419 Now, without further ado, I am proud to introduce 1351 01:31:40,452 --> 01:31:43,222 my new favourite band, ah... 1352 01:31:43,255 --> 01:31:45,991 The Tragic Unveiling of Misguided Teenage Hearts. 1353 01:31:46,023 --> 01:31:50,094 Congrats, you crazy kids! This song is for you. 1354 01:31:52,429 --> 01:31:53,831 One, two, three. 1355 01:32:05,144 --> 01:32:07,112 I remember how excited I was 1356 01:32:07,144 --> 01:32:10,114 for my fifth birthday party. 1357 01:32:10,148 --> 01:32:13,151 Then when the kids showed up, I hid in my room, 1358 01:32:13,184 --> 01:32:15,320 wouldn't come out. 1359 01:32:15,353 --> 01:32:18,924 You held my hands and said, "Joey, 1360 01:32:18,956 --> 01:32:22,627 "you will meet many people in this astonishing 1361 01:32:22,661 --> 01:32:25,797 "and wonderful life of yours, and you'll know 1362 01:32:25,831 --> 01:32:27,867 when your true friends appear." 1363 01:32:29,835 --> 01:32:32,104 This is how I will always remember 1364 01:32:32,136 --> 01:32:36,140 my summer as a goth, dancing with my mom 1365 01:32:36,174 --> 01:32:39,711 and my grandparents and a group of new friends 1366 01:32:39,745 --> 01:32:42,081 that actually get me. 1367 01:32:42,113 --> 01:32:45,384 Astonishing and wonderful, indeed. 1368 01:32:45,416 --> 01:32:46,884 Who would have guessed? 1369 01:32:50,087 --> 01:32:51,756 Hey! 1370 01:32:57,395 --> 01:33:01,300 So, you're a goth now? 1371 01:33:01,332 --> 01:33:04,102 I didn't even know goths still existed. 1372 01:33:04,135 --> 01:33:06,238 I don't know what I am. 1373 01:33:06,270 --> 01:33:10,608 Hey Aaron! You've been replaced. 1374 01:33:10,642 --> 01:33:13,111 Your new boyfriend looks kind of gay. 1375 01:33:13,144 --> 01:33:14,947 Oh, shut up, Shelley! 1376 01:33:43,640 --> 01:33:47,011 Hey, Dad. I have some friends I want you to meet. 1377 01:34:49,675 --> 01:34:51,076 Standing someone up for those 1378 01:34:51,108 --> 01:34:53,411 or similar reasons is inexcusable. 1379 01:34:53,444 --> 01:34:56,113 Mind you, no one is owed a date ever. 1380 01:34:56,148 --> 01:34:57,950 The only reason you should accept a date 1381 01:34:57,983 --> 01:35:00,319 or whatever you want to call romantic social activity 1382 01:35:00,352 --> 01:35:02,854 between two people, is because you are interested 1383 01:35:02,888 --> 01:35:04,154 in spending time together. 1384 01:35:04,188 --> 01:35:06,023 You don't have to go out with someone just 1385 01:35:06,058 --> 01:35:08,694 because he or she is nice, pays attention to you 1386 01:35:08,727 --> 01:35:10,028 or seems to expect it. 1387 01:35:10,060 --> 01:35:12,130 Nor should you feel obliged to go out with someone, 1388 01:35:12,163 --> 01:35:15,099 because you are single goths who know each other, 1389 01:35:15,132 --> 01:35:16,734 you may scoff, snarklings, 1390 01:35:16,768 --> 01:35:19,638 but the Lady of the Manners has seen that exact thing happened 1391 01:35:19,670 --> 01:35:21,172 with alarming regularity. 1392 01:35:32,379 --> 01:35:37,379 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 98019