All language subtitles for Fixing.Pete.2011.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

- IN ONE MINUTE,
I'LL BRING YOU BACK.

- 3, 2...
- WAIT. WE'RE GOOD.

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

AND WE'RE BACK WITH THE
ONE AND ONLY ASHLEY BOYD,

FASHION WRITER FOR
THE LOS ANGELES POST.

[cheers and applause]

NOW THE MAKEOVER'S COMPLETE...
- YES.

- AND NOW FOR
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH,

BUT FIRST,
LET'S TAKE A LOOK

AT WHAT ASHLEY
HAD TO WORK WITH.

OKAY.
- THERE'S KIM BEFORE.

- ASHLEY.
- MM-HMM.

- IT'S MAGIC TIME.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH,
TARYN.

LADIES, I'D LIKE
TO PRESENT TO YOU

THE NEW KIM.

[cheers and applause]

- OH, MY GOSH.
WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

WHO ARE YOU?
YOU ARE HOT, HOT, HOT.

- I KNOW.
I CAN FEEL THE HEAT.

LADIES,
CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT?

[applause]

KIM HAS SUCH WONDERFULLY
BRIGHT EYES.

I HAD ERIC T. LOWE GO IN

AND DO SOME HIGHLIGHTS
IN HER BANGS,

AND NOW THEY ARE
POSITIVELY ON FIRE.

- BEAUTIFUL. AND, UH,
WHO ARE WE WEARING?

- OH, IT HAD TO BE
JEFFREY BEAUMAN.

IT'S SOPHISTICATED,
IT'S SASSY,

AND IT DEFINITELY SAYS,
"LOOK OUT, HERE I COME."

- OH, WELL, I SAY,
"FABU, ASHLEY BOYD."

WE KNOW WHO
EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY

WILL BE
TALKING ABOUT TOMORROW.

[upbeat music]

♪

[phone ringing]

- ASHLEY,
YOU'RE WANTED UPSTAIRS.

- OH, NO.
WHAT DID I DO?

[bell dings]

- GOOD LUCK.

- I'M SO SORRY,
MRS. FRIEDLANDER,

IF YOU WEREN'T HAPPY
WITH MY TARYNAPPEARANCE.

YOU KNOW HOW I WANT
THINGS TO BE PERFECT,

AND I PLANNED FOR THIS
FOR WEEKS.

WAS IT THAT I DIDN'T MENTION
THE POSTENOUGH?

- STOP. I WATCHED THE SHOW
AND YOU DID A FABULOUS JOB.

- THANK YOU,
MRS. FRIEDLANDER.

IT WAS NOTHING, REALLY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING AS WELL.

I MEAN,
I WAS TRULY HONORED.

- DON'T GET TOO HONORED.

I AM PLANNING A NEW SUPPLEMENT
FOR THE POST

WHICH I'M CALLING
"FIRST LOOK,"

A SUPPLEMENT FOR WHICH
I INTEND TO NAME YOU EDITOR.

- OH, MY GOD,
I WANT THAT SO BADLY!

EVER SINCE I WAS
A LITTLE GIRL,

I ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVING
AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS--

BEING FIRST VOICE
OF WEST COAST FASHION,

MAKING THE WORLD
A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING
MY DREAM COME TRUE.

- IF--
- THERE'S AN "IF"?

- IF YOU CAN COMPLETE
THE FIRST COVER STORY

AND A SERIES OF ARTICLES
WITH IT.

- THAT'S THE "IF"?

I WOULD NEVER TURN DOWN
A COVER STORY.

- I'LL HOLD YOU TO THAT.

FOR THIS PIECE, I NEED FOR YOU
TO DO ANOTHER MAKEOVER.

A REPORTER HERE
NEEDS A FULL TRANSFORMATION.

- WHO IS SHE?
- NOT SHE, HE.

A MALE MAKEOVER.

HE'S WRITTEN A BOOK THAT THE
LOS ANGELES POSTORGANIZATION

IS PUBLISHING SOON,

AND I WANT YOUR MAKEOVER
AND THE FIRST LOOK COVERS

TO BE PART OF
A WHOLE PUBLICITY PUSH.

YOUR SERIES IS OUR OPPORTUNITY
TO INTRODUCE HIM

TO A FEMALE AUDIENCE.

HE'S A BIT OF A MESS.
A REAL GUY'S GUY.

HE NEVER REALLY GREW UP,

WHICH WORKS
ON OUR SPORTS PAGES

BUT REALLY WON'T PLAY
IN PERSON OR ON NATIONAL TV.

- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT--

- YOU'LL NEED TO ADJUST
HIS LOOK, HIS PERSONALITY--

- WAIT A SECOND.

- MAKE HIM READY
FOR THE BOOK TOUR.

- PLEASE, NO.

- YOUR NEW MAKEOVER
SUBJECT WILL BE...

[overlapping chatter]

- YEAH!
- OUR OWN PETE CAMDEN.

THAT GUY.

- LAZY. NO HELP.
BUT LOOK, COME ON.

I'M GONNA MAKE
THAT RECYCLE BIN. TEN BUCKS.
WHO'S IN?

- OH, YOU'RE ON.
- 10 BUCKS.
- OH!

- I GOT YOU, I GOT YOU,
I GOT YOU.

- HEY, CHEERLEADERS WELCOME.
DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE.

CLEAR THE COURT. LET'S GO,
LET'S GO. THANK YOU.

- YOU WANT ME TO MAKE-OVER
PETE CAMDEN?

- [mimics] "I'D NEVER
TURN DOWN A COVER STORY."

- AH!

- CAMDEN!
- PARKER, COME ON.

FAN INTERFERENCE.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

- NAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU
VISITING THE TRENCHES.

ALL RIGHT, YOU DINGBATS,
YOU GOT WORK TO DO.

- AH, PARKER, I'M SORRY.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I FORGET
THAT HERE AT THE POST,

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE
OUR EYE OFF THE PRIZE,

WHICH OF COURSE IS DELIVERING
THE BEST COVERAGE

OF NEWS, ENTERTAINMENT, AND
SPORTS IN THESE UNITED STATES.

I PROMISE, GUYS,
THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

BALL.
THANKS.

[recycle bin clanks]

OH, YEAH, TEN BUCKS, TEN BUCKS,
TEN BUCKS, ALL OF YOU.

EXPECT TO SEE IT ON MY DESK
BY THE END OF THE DAY.

[groans]

- PETE CAMDEN DOESN'T
NEED A MAKEOVER.

HE NEEDS
A COMPLETE TEARDOWN.

- HIS SPORTS COVERAGE
HAS MORE READERS

THAN THE REST OF THE PAPER
COMBINED.

YOU CAN'T BEGIN TO IMAGINE

HOW MUCH THE POST
HAS RIDING ON HIS BOOK.

NOW GO, TALK TO HIM.

- OH.

PETE, UH, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE?

- HEY, BEAUTIFUL.

YOU SEE THAT SHOT
THAT I JUST MADE?

THERE ARE ONLY TWO OTHER GUYS
IN THE WHOLE WORLD

THAT CAN MAKE THAT SHOT.

- REALLY?
AND WHO IS THE OTHER?

- WHO CARES?
AIN'T GOT ME.

- I GOT YOU
IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR.

I CAN'T DO THIS.

- [laughs]

[knock on door]

- DOOR'S OPEN, CHRISTOPHER.
COME ON IN.

[door opens]

- OKAY, I'M HERE.
SO WHAT'S THE BIG NEWS?

- MRS. FRIEDLANDER
IS GIVING ME A SHOT

TO BECOME EDITOR
OF "FIRST LOOK."

MY FIRST COVER STORY--
A MALE MAKEOVER.

- CONGRATS! YOU'RE NOT
MAKING ME OVER, I HOPE?

- NO. A SPORTSWRITER.
HE'S A REAL MAN-CHILD.

YOU ARE PERFECT.
- AS ARE YOU.

- HERE YOU GO.
NON-FAT, HALF-CAF,

SUGAR-FREE EXTRA FOAM LATTE,
JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT.

- I'M AFRAID IT'S GOING TO
HAVE TO BE TO GO.

I JUST HAVE A MINUTE.
- MMM.

I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA
BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN

AND TALK ABOUT THIS.

I NEED A CRASH COURSE IN
NAVIGATING THE MALE EGO.

- OH, I CAN'T STAY.

I'M IN STUDIO TO BREAK IN
FOR AN UPDATE.

WE HAVE TEAM COVERAGE
FOR STORM VIEW.

- OH, NO.

I'M SUPPOSED TO VISIT MANDY
AT HER PHOTO SHOOT.

WELL, I CAN'T GO OUT THERE
LIKE THIS.

I'M WEARING SILK.

- OOH, WE CAN'T BE
TOO CAREFUL WITH SILK.

HMM.
WELL, SORRY, BABE.

I GOTTA GO. LOVE YOU.
[kiss]

- [kiss]
LOVE YOU MORE.

- OKAY, NOW, ARCH YOUR BACK,
MANDY, DEAR.

OH, THAT'S IT.
FANTASTIC.

- [groans]
SORRY I'M LATE.

[groans]
THE RAIN!

- OR, AS THE REST OF THE
COUNTRY CALLS IT, DRIZZLE.

SO, ASH,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?

THE LINGERIE
OR THE CHAMPAGNE?

- THE LAMP.
- ENOUGH CROSS-TALK.

MANDY,
YOU'RE TOO ACCESSIBLE.

UM, SCOWL FOR ME, SWEETIE.

OH, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.

- I HAVE A CRAZY
NEW ASSIGNMENT

THAT I NEED
YOUR HELP WITH.

I'M MAKING OVER
PETE CAMDEN.

- PETE CAMDEN,
THE SPORTS COLUMNIST?

- I THINK I MAY BE IN
OVER MY HEAD ON THIS ONE.

- I'VE NEVER KNOWN YOU
TO RUN FROM A CHALLENGE.

HEY, EVER SINCE
WE FIRST MET IN FAT CAMP--

- YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT.

- FIRST MET IN SUMMER CAMP,

YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN UP
FOR A CHALLENGE.

- YES, BUT YOU CAN'T
CHANGE GUYS

THAT DON'T
WANT TO BE CHANGED,

AND I HAVE A FEELING
THAT PETE LIKES HIMSELF

JUST THE WAY HE IS,
GOD KNOWS WHY.

- WELL, DON'T BE SO SURE PETE
LIKES THE WAY HE IS.

I MEAN, EVERY MAN
WANTS TO BE CHANGED.

WE JUST DON'T WANT TO
ADMIT IT.

IT'S PART OF
THE MALE MYSTIQUE.

YOU KNOW, WE PLAY THE ROLE
OF THIS SELF-SATISFIED STUD.

DEEP DOWN, WE'D LIKE NOTHING
MORE THAN TO HAVE SOME WOMAN

COME AROUND AND MAKE US
MORE APPEALING.

- REALLY?
- OH, ABSOLUTELY.

SELF-ESTEEM
GOES THROUGH THE ROOF.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT.

- SO VINCENT, YOU THINK
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA,

ME PUTTING UP WITH
ALL OF PETE'S NONSENSE

SO THAT I CAN MAKE HIM
A BETTER PERSON?

- THINK OF IT THIS WAY.

YOU'RE TAKING MERCY
ON HIS POOR SOUL, RIGHT?

[overlapping chatter]

- [groans]

HI, PETE, I THINK IT'S TIME
THAT WE OFFICIALLY MET.

I'M ASHLEY BOYD.

I'M A FASHION REPORTER
AT THE POST.

- YEAH, WE'VE MET BEFORE,
ACTUALLY.

OR ALMOST, ANYWAY.

I SAT DOWN NEXT TO YOU
AT A STAFF MEETING ONE TIME,

AND YOU GOT UP,
TOOK YOUR STUFF,

AND MOVED TWO SEATS DOWN.

IT WAS A REALLY CLASSY MOVE.
THANKS. MADE ME FEEL GOOD.

- LET'S LET BYGONES
BE BYGONES, SHALL WE?

- SMITTY, A CHILI-BURGER,
HEAVY ON THE CHILI,

EXTRA CHILI ON THE SIDE,
JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT.

AW, THANK YOU.

- MA'AM.
- OH, NO.

NOTHING FOR ME, THANKS.

I SEEM TO HAVE LOST
MY APPETITE.

- YOU REALLY SHOULD
TRY THEM. OH!

- UH...
[clears throat]

I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU
TO WORK WITH ME.

- REALLY?

WHAT CAN A SPORTSWRITER DO
FOR THE LADY SECTION?

- ACTUALLY, IT'S
WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

- NO, NO, NO.

SEE, IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT
WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

- [gasps]
- OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.

OH, HOLD ON, COME HERE.
NO, NO, I GOT IT.

- OH, NO. OH! OH!

- NO, I GOT IT. OH, YOU KNOW
WHAT? WE'VE GOT BEER.

IT'S ALL GOOD. IT'S LIKE
A MAN'S SELTZER.

- PLEASE. OH, MY GOSH.
- TAKING IT RIGHT OUT OF THERE.

I WAS TRYING TO HELP.
I'M SORRY.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
- YEAH, IT'S FINE. I'M GOOD.

IT'S--IT'S--
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO
IS CALLED A MAKEOVER.

- PASS.

- IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
TO HELP YOU

FOR YOUR UPCOMING BOOK TOUR.
- I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.

- YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT THERE
SELLING A BOOK, OKAY?

IN TODAY'S MARKET,
WHAT THAT MEANS IS,

YOU'RE ALSO GONNA BE
SELLING YOURSELF.

THERE'S SOMETHING IN IT
FOR YOU AS WELL.

- REALLY?
- OH, YEAH.

WOMEN LOVE A GUY
WHO LOOKS GOOD.

- THE THING IS,

WOMEN ALREADY LIKE ME
THE WAY I AM.

I GET PLENTY OF DATES.

- ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, PETE.

GIVE IT A TRY.

IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE,
I PROMISE.

AND ANYWAYS, WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT TO LOSE?

- THAT WAS SUCH
A NICE THING TO SAY.

THANKS A LOT.
REALLY SWEET OF YOU.

- I DIDN'T MEAN IT
LIKE THAT.

- OKAY, I'LL BE HONEST.

I'M NOT PERFECT LIKE YOU.
I GOT THAT.

BUT I HAVE SOMETHING THAT'S
WORKING RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

NOBODY WILL SAY THAT
I'M NOT ONE OF THE GUYS.

IN FACT, I'M KING OF THEM,
AND THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

SO IF I LET YOU COME IN HERE

AND START MESSING AROUND
WITH THAT

AND IT DOESN'T WORK,

WELL, THEN,
THERE'S NO TURNING BACK,

AND I AM JUST
A CERTIFIED LOSER.

SO, NO THANK YOU.

HEY, SMITTY.
- YO.

- SUSIE STYLE,
SHE'S GOT THE CHECK, OKAY?

- YOU GOT IT, PETE.

- OKAY, SO WHY ME?

- WELL, LOOK, THEY JUST
WANT YOU TO CUT YOUR HAIR,

WASH YOUR CLOTHES,
SOMETHING SOMETHING.

- CUT ME A BREAK HERE,
OKAY?

I DESERVE A LITTLE RESPECT.
I'M THE FRANCHISE.

PEOPLE BUY THIS PAPER
JUST TO READ MY COLUMN.

- THAT'S BECAUSE
THEY HAVEN'T MET YOU.

- YEAH, WELL, I'VE GOT
THE BOOK COMING OUT,

I'VE GOT THE WHOLE
PUBLICITY TOUR SET UP, SO--

- EXACTLY.

YOU SEE, YOUR BOOK TOUR
WILL UNSELL BOOKS.

NOW, DON'T THINK
FOR A SECOND

THAT THEY WON'T CANCEL
THAT BOOK TOUR

IF YOU DON'T DO IT.

NAN CAN BE VERY PERSUASIVE.
- OH, OKAY.

THE WHOLE "WHO SIGNS
YOUR PAYCHECK" THING AGAIN?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- [sighs]

- SO, I UNDERSTAND
YOU'RE IN.

- I THINK I'M GOING TO HURL.
- WHY?

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RUIN
MY OUTFIT ENOUGH ALREADY TODAY?

BE AT VINCENT VERDIN'S PHOTO
STUDIO FIRST THING TOMORROW

FOR THE BEFORE PHOTOS.

- [sighs]

- SO TODAY WE TAKE
HIS BEFORE PICTURES,

AND THEN I CLEAN HIM UP
AND WE TAKE HIS AFTER PICTURES,

AND POOF, I'M AN EDITOR.

OH, I JUST WISH THAT
MY ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL FUTURE

WASN'T RESTING ON SOMEBODY
LIKE PETE CAMDEN.

- DID I TELL YOU I THINK
I GOT THAT INTERVIEW

FOR THE WEEKEND ANCHOR JOB?

- [gasps]

CHRISTOPHER,
THAT'S PERFECT!

OH, THIS IS JUST LIKE
WE FANTASIZED ABOUT

ON OUR FIRST DATE.

I'LL BE A FASHION EDITOR
AND YOU'LL BE A NEWS ANCHOR.

THE ONLY THING LEFT
IS THE STORYBOOK WEDDING,

THE TWO ADORABLE CHILDREN,
AND THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

- IT FEELS GREAT TO HAVE
OUR WHOLE LIFE MAPPED OUT.

WE'RE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.

- [laughs]
- WHOA! I GOTTA GO.

- BUT I WANTED TO TALK.
- WE JUST DID.

- OH.

- HEY, YOU VINCENT?
I'M PETE.

I'M HERE FOR MY, UH,
BEFORE PHOTOS.

- BEFORE, INDEED.

UH, LET'S LEAVE THE LAUNDRY
OUTSIDE THE BUILDING.

- LAUNDRY? NO, NO, NO.

THEY ASKED ME TO BRING
THREE CHANGES OF CLOTHES,

SO I GOT 'EM.

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU
WANT ME TO DO WITH THEM.

- HAVE THEM CARBON-DATED.

NOW THAT'S AN OUTFIT I WOULDN'T
HAVE GUESSED YOU FOR,

ALTHOUGH
IT SHOWS MORE COURAGE

THAN IT DOES GOOD SENSE,
DOESN'T IT?

- YEAH,
THAT ONE'S ASHLEY'S.

- TELL ME THE REST OF HER IS
NOT IN THE TRUCK OF YOUR CAR.

- OH, I WISH.
NO, SHE'S JUST RUNNING LATE.

- I KNOW GUYS
WHO WOULD KILL

FOR A MAKEOVER
FROM ASHLEY BOYD.

- YEAH, BUT ANYBODY WHO KNOWS
WHO SHE IS DOESN'T NEED ONE.

- YEAH, WELL, EXCEPT ONE.

- COME ON, MAN, I DON'T NEED
THAT MUCH WORK.

- THE CAMERA NEVER LIES.

- WHAT A MESS.

- WHAT A SLOB.

both: PERFECT.

- "'FIXING PETE'
BY ASHLEY BOYD.

"THE ASSIGNMENT WAS CLEAR.

"IN EVERY MAN,
THERE IS A LITTLE BOY.

"AND LIKE
EVERY LITTLE BOY,

"PETE CAMDEN NEEDED AN ADULT
TO HELP HIM GROW UP.

I HAD MY WORK
CUT OUT FOR ME..."

- SKEETER.
AH...

- ALL RIGHT,
DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE.

BOB GAZARIAN
CALLED IN SICK.

I WANT YOU TO COVER
COLLEGE BASKETBALL.

- COLLEGE.
WOMEN'S BASKETBALL? NO.

I DON'T DO WOMEN'S SPORTS.
I'M THE MAN.

- JUST AS A REMINDER,

I'LL BE AT YOUR PLACE
TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00

TO GO THROUGH
YOUR WARDROBE.

YOU MUST HAVE SOME CLOTHES
THAT WE COULD USE.

JUST IN CASE, DON'T FORGET.
- YES, DEAR.

- AND DON'T GO ONLINE
FOR THE RESULTS.

I NEED YOU TO DO POST-GAME
INTERVIEWS WITH THE GIRLS.

DON'T FORGET.
- YES, DEAR.

[overlapping chatter]

- AND I KNEW WHEN LINDA BLOCKED
THREE SHOTS IN A ROW,

THE MOMENTUM
WAS GOING OUR WAY.

- [groans]

- YOU GOT A QUESTION?

- YES, I DO.

MISS TAYLOR, GREAT JOB
OUT THERE TODAY.

AGAINST OTHER GIRLS,
GREAT JOB.

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- WELL, LET'S BE HONEST
FOR A SECOND.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE THIS
IS REAL BASKETBALL.

ANY GUY COULD BEAT
ANY GIRL.

BUT MY QUESTION IS, UH,
WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL?

- OH, I'M GONNA GET YOU
BANNED FROM THIS CAMPUS

FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE!

- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[knocks]

HELLO.
WELCOME TO THE MAN CAVE.

I HAD A DECORATOR BUT,
OF COURSE, I WORKED WITH HIM.

SO COME ON IN.
DON'T BE SHY. ENTER, ENTER.

WIPE YOUR FEET, PLEASE.

- YEAH, ON THE WAY OUT.

- I MEANT ON THE WAY IN.

- [laughs]

ALL THAT'S MISSING
IS THE MUSHROOM CLOUD.

NO, DEFINITELY NO,
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- UH-UH-UH-UH,
ABSOLUTELY NOT IS RIGHT.

THAT'S MY LUCKY JACKET.
PUT THAT BACK.

- NOTHING IN HERE
IS A LUCKY ANYTHING, OKAY?

I MEAN, DO YOU
HAVE ANY CLOTHES

THAT DON'T HAVE
TEAM LOGOS?

- HELLO.
- NO.

I'M ASSUMING YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY SUITS.

- HA! YOU'RE WRONG.

LET'S GO.
OUT OF THE CLOSET.

- WITH PLEASURE.

[laughs]

WHAT IS THAT?
IS THAT YOUR PROM TUX?

- EXACTLY.

SEE, I TOLD YOU,
I HAD A DATE ONCE.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

YOU DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING NICE.

OR ANYTHING CLEAN,
FOR THAT MATTER.

- OH, WHAT A SHAME.

I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO
CANCEL THIS MAKEOVER.

- NO, WHAT IT MEANS IS,
WE HAVE TO GET YOU NEW CLOTHES.

[sighs]

[doorbell rings]

JUST WARNING YOU,
HE CAN BE A LITTLE COARSE

AND A LITTLE RUDE.

- OH, I'M SURE IT'S NOT
GONNA BE THAT BAD.

- HEY, THINK FAST.
- OH!

YOU'RE LATE.
- UH, YEAH.

BUT AT LEAST I SHOWED UP,
DIDN'T I?

WOW, CHECK THIS PLACE OUT.
UNBELIEVABLE.

AND WHO'S
BACHELORETTE NUMBER TWO?

- HER NAME IS MANDY,

AND SHE'S GOING TO BE
OUR FASHION CONSULTANT.

- OH, I'M LOVING THAT.
MANDY, WOW. SO PRETTY.

UH, YOU COULD BE A MODEL.
- I AM A MODEL.

- MAYBE I'VE SEEN YOU.
WHAT MONTH WERE YOU?

- TOLD YOU.

HERE, PUT THESE ON
AND SHUT UP.

- NICE.

[upbeat music]

♪

- ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW WHO
YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUP-ER-STAR ♪

♪

♪ BURNING BRIGHT
IN THE SKY ♪

♪ GONNA SET THE NIGHT
ON FIRE ♪

♪ BURNING BRIGHT
IN THE SKY ♪

♪ GONNA SET THE NIGHT
ON FIRE ♪

♪ BURNING BRIGHT
IN THE SKY ♪

♪ GONNA SET THE NIGHT
ON FIRE ♪

♪ BURNING BRIGHT
IN THE SKY ♪

♪ GONNA SET THE NIGHT
ON FIRE ♪

- ♪ I KNOW WHO YOU ARE

♪ I KNOW
WHO YOU ARE ♪

♪ I KNOW WHO YOU ARE

♪ I KNOW
WHO YOU ARE ♪

♪ I WANT TO SEE THE GUY
FROM BEVERLY HILLS ♪

♪ I KNOW WHO YOU ARE

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE? ♪

♪ BABY, BABY,
YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR ♪

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- WELL, I HATE TO ADMIT IT,
BUT I THINK THIS COULD WORK.

[doorbell rings]

- ERIC T. LOWE,
RIGHT ON TIME.

LISTEN, THIS IS THE BEST
HAIRSTYLIST IN BEVERLY HILLS.

- THE BEST.

- WELL, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH MY BARBER?

- I'M GUESSING HE DRINKS.

- HE CUTS MODELS,
HE CUTS MOVIE STARS.

- WELL, I'M FEELING THE NEED
TO CUT ONE RIGHT NOW.

- SIT.

[exhales]

- ASHLEY!

- HI!
MWAH! MWAH!

- YOU LOOK DELICIOUS.
- THANK YOU.

- MANDY. MWAH!

ERIC T. LOWE WILL NOT
TOUCH THIS MAN.

- LOOK, I KNOW THAT
YOU'RE USED TO HAVING

SOMETHING TO WORK WITH.

- ERIC T. LOWE CREATES
LOOKS FOR SUPERMODELS,

NOT SPORTSWRITERS.

- I'M RIGHT HERE.

- YES, I SEE.

ERIC T. LOWE, STYLIST.

NOT A MAGICIAN.

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

PETE L. CAMDEN IS A MAN,

NOT A VOLUNTEER
FROM THE AUDIENCE.

- GRANTED, HE'S NOT
YOUR TYPICAL CUSTOMER.

HOWEVER, THIS MAKEOVER
WILL BE A COVER STORY.

- COVER STORY, YOU SAY?
- YES.

- WELL, THEN, ERIC T. LOWE
SAYS, ABRACADABRA!

[pop music]

♪

- ♪ DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO-OOH ♪

♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOOOO ♪

♪ DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪

♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO

♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOOOO ♪

♪ DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪

- O--
- M--

- G.

- O-M-G.

[laughter]

- "STEP ONE COMPLETE.

"THERE'S AN OLD SAYING
THAT THE CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN.

"IT SHOULD BE AMENDED TO ADD

THAT A GOOD HAIRCUT
DOESN'T HURT EITHER."

[knock on door]

SHOW NO MERCY.

HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?

IT'S SO--
- LIVED IN.

YOU LOOK CRAZY
IN THOSE THINGS.

[upbeat music]

♪

- YOU NEVER GOT RID OF
THE CLOTHES WE GOT RID OF?

OH, THIS IS--UH-UH.

MM-MM. NO.

- ♪ OH, YEAH

- OH!

THIS IS DISGUSTING.
OH, HEY, NOW.

♪

- ♪ GOTTA GET THAT MONEY

♪ OH, YEAH,
OH, YEAH ♪

♪ SOMETIMES
I CAN'T BELIEVE ♪

♪ YOU DO
THE THINGS YOU DO ♪

♪

♪ THERE ARE THINGS
I CANNOT SAY ♪

- ALL RIGHT.

- ♪ OH, YEAH

- WHAT ELSE?

YOU NEED NEW WINDOW TREATMENTS,
NEW WALL HANGINGS.

AND, I'M SORRY, BUT THE COUCH
HAS GOT TO GO.

IT STILL LOOKS TERRIBLE.

- OKAY, WELL,
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW

THAT EVERY NICK, SCRATCH,
AND SCUFF ON THIS COUCH

IS A TESTAMENT TO THE FACT
THAT I HAVE FUN IN MY LIFE.

[spraying]

- ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I
DON'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN?

- WELL, I'M JUST SAYING,

IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S ALL
ABOUT PERFECT WITH YOU.

- WELL,
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

YOU CAN HAVE FUN
IN THE PURSUIT OF PERFECTION.

- OH, THAT SOUNDS FUN.

- FOR EXAMPLE...

THERE.
I HAD FUN.

- WOW. THIS IS HOW
YOU WANT IT TO BE, HUH?

OH, I'M TELLING YOU,
DO NOT CHALLENGE ME.

- OOH.

[sprays]

- OOH!

[spraying]
- [gasping]
- OH!

- WHAT DID YOU GET
ON YOUR SHIRT?

- OH!

- [laughing]

- OH!

- [laughs]

[squeals]

[both laughing]

- [groans]

- "'FIXING PETE.'

"IT WAS FINALLY TIME
FOR THE MAN-CHILD

"TO CLEAN HIS ROOM.

"IT TOOK A HAZ-MAT TEAM
TO DO IT,

"BUT WE GOT THE JOB DONE.

"A FEW WELL-CHOSEN PIECES
WOULD TURN THIS FRAT HOUSE

INTO A HOME."

[upbeat music]

♪

[laughs]

♪

- ♪ I CAN'T SAY YEAH,
SAY YEAH ♪

♪ IF I'M ON A DATE

♪ ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO
IS SEE YOU ♪

♪ BREAK THROUGH ONE HIT

♪ YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M WAITING FOR ♪

♪ I'M GOIN'
'ROUND AND 'ROUND ♪

♪ SITTIN' HERE,
JUST WATCHING THE WORLD ♪

♪ ROLL BY

♪ AND IF BY CHANCE
THE RADIO ♪

♪ STARTS PLAYING
OUR FAVORITE SONG ♪

♪ HEY, I WISH YOU WERE

♪ WISH YOU WERE

♪ I WISH YOU WERE,
I WISH YOU WERE ♪

♪ WISH YOU WERE
AROUND HERE ♪

♪ HEY, I WISH YOU WERE

♪ WISH YOU WERE

♪ I WISH YOU WERE,
I WISH YOU WERE ♪

♪ WISH YOU WERE
AROUND HERE ♪

- WOW,
I THINK IT LOOKS GOOD.

- GIVE US A SMILE.

- [laughs]

AND...

IT'S MY WAY
OF CELEBRATING.

- WOW.

- [laughs]

- THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY SWEET.

HEY, WHY DON'T WE GO OUT
AND CELEBRATE FOR REAL?

- UM, SURE, I HAVE TIME
FOR A DRINK,

BUT I'M MEETING SOMEBODY
FOR DINNER.

- OKAY.

[man whistles]

IT'S FUNNY,
'CAUSE I ALWAYS THOUGHT

THAT THAT FUZZY STUFF
ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR

WAS CARPETING.

- FUNNY NOW.
THAT WAS DISGUSTING.

AND DON'T YOU DARE TRY
THE "LIVED-IN" DEFENSE.

DA-DA-DA-DA-DA.
- EXCUSE ME?

- I DON'T WANT YOU
TO GET YOUR SUIT DIRTY.

- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I PROMISE I WON'T EVER EAT
ANYTHING AGAIN.

- THAT'LL WORK.

- YOU WANT TO DANCE?

- OKAY, SURE.

[piano music]

♪

[laughs]

- WHAT?

- YOU SUCK AT THIS.

- YEAH.

I DIDN'T REALLY EXPECT
YOU WERE GONNA SAY YES.

- OH, I SEE.
ALL RIGHT.

WELL, LET ME DRIVE, THEN.

THIS ONE GOES HERE.
THIS ONE GOES THERE.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT IT.
- ALL RIGHT. THANKS, COACH.

YEAH, I THINK I GET
THE KNACK OF THIS, UH, DANCING.

- I GUESS I SHOULDN'T
EXPECT TOO MUCH DANCING

OUT OF A JOCK LIKE YOU.

- AW, COME ON, I'M NOT
A REAL JOCK ANYMORE.

- NO?
- NO.

I WAS AN ATHLETE
IN HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE,

BUT, UH, IT'S REALLY ALL
JUST POSTURING THESE DAYS.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU GO PRO?

- I MEAN,
IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE
THE BEST OF THE BEST,

AND I WASN'T THAT GOOD.

- WAS THAT DISAPPOINTING?

- NO. I MEAN, I ALWAYS
WANTED TO WRITE.

AND, AS A SPORTSWRITER,

I GET TO HANG ON
TO WHO I'VE ALWAYS BEEN.

IT WORKED OUT.

MORE THAN WORKED OUT.
I LOVE MY JOB.

SERIOUSLY, I WOULDN'T TRADE IT
FOR ANYTHING.

- I HEAR, AS A SPORTSWRITER,
YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST.

- OH?
- YES.

YOU, UH,
KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK?

- YES, THAT'S HOW YOU SAY IT.
THANK YOU.

I KNOW YOU DON'T READ
MY COLUMN.

THAT'S OKAY.
I DON'T READ YOURS EITHER.

BUT I WILL. I'LL START
READING IT EVERY DAY.

- REALLY?
- SURE.

- NO, IT'S TRUE,
I REALLY DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH,

UM, WELL, ANYTHING ABOUT SPORTS,
BUT I CAN LEARN.

AND I'LL START READING
YOUR COLUMN.

- ALL RIGHT. YOU SHOULD
READ MY BOOK, THOUGH.

UM, IT'S DIFFERENT
FROM MY COLUMN,

'CAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY JUST
REPORT ON THINGS.

I ACTUALLY, UH,
REALLY EXPRESS MY OPINIONS.

AND I KIND OF LOOK AT BASEBALL
AS A THING OF BEAUTY.

YOU KNOW, JUST FINDING AND
CREATING THOSE PERFECT MOMENTS.

- HMM. WELL, I WRITE
ABOUT BEAUTY AS WELL.

MAYBE WE'RE NOT
SO DIFFERENT.

- [laughs]
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

- YOU KNOW, GOING INTO THIS,
I HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS--

- OH, SORRY.
- ANYWAY, I GOTTA GO.

SORRY I'M LATE.

I TRIED TO CALL YOU.
IS YOUR CELL OFF?

- OH, I DON'T KNOW.

CHRISTOPHER, PETE CAMDEN.

PETE, THIS IS CHRISTOPHER
HERNANDEZ, MY BOYFRIEND.

- BOYFRIEND, RIGHT.
THE, UH, THE TV REPORTER.

- GUILTY. AND YOU'RE
THE HUMAN GUINEA PIG.

- GUILTY.

- SO WHEN DO YOU START
THE MAKEOVER?

- UM, I REALLY--I HAD
A GREAT TIME WITH YOU TODAY.

I'LL SEE YOU BACK
IN THE OFFICE.

OH, EXCUSE ME. YEAH.

'CAUSE I THINK, UH,
WE'RE GONNA NEED TO

PRACTICE
A LITTLE MORE, YOU KNOW?

- MAYBE WE COULD, UH,
TRY THAT LOOK ON YOU.

OH!
[laughs]

- I HAVE TO BE
ON CAMERA LATER.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

- I WAS JUST MESSING AROUND.

I, UM, I'M SORRY.

[phone ringing]

- HELLO.

- HEY, MARTY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- HEY, PETE, NOTHING.

I'M JUST, UH,
WAITING ON A FARE.

- WELL, I WAS THINKING ABOUT
GOING TO GRAB A DRINK.

YOU WANT TO COME?

- THAT IS MUSIC TO MY EARS,
MY FRIEND.

[phone beeps]

[overlapping chatter]

SMITTY!

- MARTY.

- WHERE'S PETE?

- RIGHT THERE.

- [gasps]

SHE RUINED YOU.

- IS IT THAT BAD?

- THAT BAD?
IT'S WORSE.

[sniffs]
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

- OH, THAT'S NOT A SMELL.

THAT'S, UH,
THAT'S THE ABSENCE OF SMELL.

- I DON'T LIKE IT.
I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL.

WHEW!

- HEY, WHAT'S UP?

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT,
HUH?

PETE, THEY WERE
LOOKING AT YOU.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- BECAUSE THEY WERE SMILING.

SO EVIDENTLY,
THEY WEREN'T LOOKING AT ME.

ERGO, THEY WERE
LOOKING AT YOU.

COME WITH ME.
COME ON.

COME HERE.
COME HERE, MEAN BOY.

COME HERE FOR A SECOND.
COME HERE, DO ME A FAVOR.

YOU STAND RIGHT HERE, OKAY?
- WHY?

- JUST PLEASE,
STAND THERE, OKAY?

[overlapping chatter]

- HI, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

[cheering]

- CHICK MAGNET.

YOU ARE
A CHICK-FREAKIN'-MAGNET.

- OKAY, BUT IF
I'M A CHICK MAGNET,

WHAT ARE WE DOING,
STANDING HERE BY OURSELVES?

- RIGHT NOW,
WE'VE GOT TO STRATEGIZE.

[women chatting]

WHERE ARE THEY GOING?
WHERE'S EVERYONE GOING?

WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

- I GUESS
TO THAT CLUB OVER THERE.

- HEY.
- LET'S DO THIS THING, HUH?

- YOU THINK WE'RE
GONNA FIT IN THERE?

- IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

YOU MAY NEVER LOOK
THIS GOOD AGAIN.

[overlapping chatter]

[music playing]

♪

- WOW, MAN, THIS IS WHERE ALL
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HANG OUT.

- YEAH,
I HATE TO SAY IT,

BUT EVEN THE MEN
ARE GIVING ME GOOSEBUMPS.

- [clears throat]
LISTEN, WITH YOUR NEW LOOKS,

THIS IS GONNA BE LIKE
SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL.

- ALL RIGHT.

- NOW, UH, START WORKING
THE HANDSOME THING

SO I CAN SCRAPE UP
SOME OF YOUR CASTOFFS.

[overlapping chatter]

- HI, I'M NAOMI.

- HEY.
- HEY, NAOMI.

WOW. JEEZ, YOU'RE HOT.

REALLY. I MEAN, YOU'RE,
WHAT, LIKE AN 8?

- UH-HUH.

- YEAH, BUT I BET IF WE
PUT YOU IN THE RIGHT LIGHT,

YOU COULD PROBABLY BE,
LIKE, AN 8 1/2, 8.6, YOU KNOW?

- WOW, SO YOU CAN DRESS 'EM UP
BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE 'EM OUT.

- OKAY. NO CHEMISTRY HERE,
BOY, SERIOUSLY.

UH, WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

[hard slap]

[overlapping chatter]

THAT'S RUDE.

- YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET THEM
GET AWAY?

- I JUST GOT SLAPPED,
MARTY.

I THINK SHE WAS RIGHT, TOO.

- NO. SHE SAID HELLO FIRST.

- SHE DIDN'T SAY HELLO
TO ME.

SHE SAID HELLO TO THE CLOTHES
AND THE HAIRCUT, YOU KNOW?

- AND THE ABSENCE OF SMELL.

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY
TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S EXPECTED OF ME.

I MEAN, BEFORE THEY'D COME UP
AND THEY'D SEE A FRAT GUY,

AND THAT'S WHAT THEY GOT,
YOU KNOW?

BUT I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW TO BE THIS NEW GUY.

- WOW. YOU'RE BEING
KIND OF HARD ON YOURSELF.

- NO. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
AGREED TO THIS.

I HAD A GOOD THING GOING.

SERIOUSLY, NOW,
LOOK AT ME.

I JUST--I FEEL SILLY
AND PATHETIC.

THIS WHOLE MAKEOVER THING,
IT'S NOT WORKING.

- NO, NO, IT IS WORKING.
IT'S JUST INCOMPLETE.

- YEAH?
HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT?

- YOUR HEIGHTENED SENSE
OF SELF-AWARENESS

SHOWS EMOTIONAL GROWTH.

- WHERE DID YOU
COME UP WITH THAT?

- A FORTUNE COOKIE.

LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,
OKAY?

YOU'RE JUST MISSING
SOME OF THE PIECES STILL.

- MAYBE
YOU'RE ON TO SOMETHING.

OR CONFUCIUS WAS.

- CONFUCIUS.

- THANKS, CHANTAL.

I AM
CHRISTOPHER HERNANDEZ.

I'M OUTSIDE WHERE WE ARE
CAUTIOUSLY AWAITING THE RAIN.

NOW IF YOU HAVE
AN UMBRELLA AT HOME...

- OH, YOU NEVER TOLD ME.

I GUESS YOU SURVIVED
THE APARTMENT CLEANING?

- OH, YEAH.
IT WAS FUN.

- FUN?
- WELL, WE GOT IT ALL CLEANED.

- AND NOBODY
KILLED EACH OTHER?

- NO. PETE WAS GREAT.
WE EVEN HAD A NICE TIME.

- WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT
HAVE YOU DONE WITH ASHLEY?

- I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

WE WENT OUT
FOR DRINKS AFTER,

AND WHEN HE'S NOT BEING
ONE OF THE BOYS,

HE'S KIND OF A CHARMER.

OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

THE COLOR OF THE SPORT COAT
WE PICKED OUT? PERFECT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD
HE LOOKED THAT NIGHT.

I MEAN, HE LOOKED GOOD,
THAT'S HOW GOOD HE LOOKED.

- YEAH, BUT BENEATH THE SURFACE,
HE'S STILL A PIG.

- NO, BENEATH THE SURFACE,
HE'S A REALLY GOOD GUY.

- [sighs]

[sniffs]

- OKAY, YEAH,
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

THANKS, CHRISTOPHER.
TALK TO YOU LATER.

GREAT. BYE.

[phone beeps]

HI.

- APPLE FOR THE TEACHER.
- THANK YOU, PETE.

SO FAR,
YOU'RE MY FAVORITE STUDENT.

- SO YOU AND CHRISTOPHER, UM,
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK.

UM, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE, LIKE,
THIS PERFECT WOMAN.

SO I, UH,
WAS JUST WONDERING HOW

CHRISTOPHER WON YOU OVER?

- WE'RE PERFECT
FOR EACH OTHER.

WE HAVE THE SAME TASTES
AND THE SAME INTERESTS.

AND, WELL, WE BOTH
LIKE THINGS A CERTAIN WAY.

WE'RE PRACTICALLY
THE SAME PERSON.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO COMPARE
YOURSELF TO CHRISTOPHER.

YOU CAN BE
YOUR OWN KIND OF PERFECT.

- YOU SHOULD PROBABLY
TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THAT.

- WHAT? YOU KNOW I'M KIND OF
A PERFECTIONIST.

- YOU SAY "KIND OF
A PERFECTIONIST,"

I SAY, "KIND OF CRAZY."

- WHAT CAN I SAY?
I LIKE THINGS PERFECT.

I WAS
MY PARENTS' ONLY CHILD,

AND I GUESS I GREW UP
TRYING TO PLEASE THEM.

I SPENT HALF MY CHILDHOOD
TRYING TO MAKE SURE

EVERYTHING WAS JUST RIGHT,
YOU KNOW?

- YEAH, SEE, I SPENT
MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD

JUST RUNNING AROUND
ON THE PLAYGROUND

TILL MY MOM GOT HOARSE
CALLING ME IN FOR DINNER.

- WOW. YEAH.
NO PLAYGROUNDS FOR ME.

I NEVER WANTED TO
GET DIRTY.

- COME ON, YOU MUST HAVE WANTED
TO AT SOME POINT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, ALL KIDS DO.
THEY HAVE TO.

- WELL, SOMETIMES
I WOULD WATCH THE KIDS

PLAYING IN THE SCHOOLYARD
AND--ANYHOW, UH,

WE'RE HERE FOR YOU, NOT ME,
SO LET'S GET STARTED.

I INVITED A FRIEND OVER
TO PORTRAY YOUR DATE.

- SO WE MEET AGAIN,
MR. CAMDEN.

- [laughs]

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S FIND OUT

WHERE THIS PROJECT
HAS GONE SOUTH.

WE'RE GONNA START WITH
A LITTLE BIT OF ROLE PLAYING.

- OOH.

- MANDY, YOU'RE GOING TO BE
A LADY FRIEND

WHO'S JUST RETURNED
FROM THE SALON.

- OKAY.

[inhales]

[exhales]

I'VE BEEN STUDYING AT
THE SANTA MONICA PLAYHOUSE.

- OH, CONGRATULATIONS.
- WONDERFUL. UPSTAGE.

THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, PETE.

I WANT YOU TO NOTICE
AND COMPLIMENT HER.

ARE YOU READY?
ACTION.

- A WOMAN COMING FROM THE SALON.
OKAY, GO.

- MANDY, WOW.
WHAT A GREAT HAIRCUT.

- VERY GOOD.

OKAY, NOW SAY
SOMETHING ELSE NICE.

UH, COMPLIMENT HER OUTFIT
OR SOMETHING.

- OKAY, EASY ENOUGH.
I CAN DO THAT.

MANDY, WHAT A LOVELY OUTFIT
YOU'RE WEARING.

- THANK YOU.

IT'S A ONE-OF-A-KIND
LESTER SHANE.

I DID HIS FIRST RUNWAY SHOW
IN NEW YORK,

THEN HE WASN'T SURE
IF HE WAS GONNA BE

AS BIG IN THE U.S.
AS HE IS IN EUROPE.

- OKAY. HANG ON A SECOND.
TIME OUT.

SERIOUSLY, LIKE, GUYS
DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF.

NOT AT ALL.

- PETE, IF YOU WANT
SOMEONE ELSE TO CARE

ABOUT YOUR SIDE
OF THE CONVERSATION,

BEGIN BY CARING
ABOUT THEIRS.

- OKAY, BUT WHAT IF
I REALLY DON'T CARE?

- WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE THAT
YOU'RE REALLY INTERESTED IN,

YOU WILL CARE
WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY,

BUT IT'LL JUST COME
NATURALLY.

LIKE--LIKE IT HAS BEEN
WITH YOU AND ME

FOR THE LAST COUPLE
OF DAYS.

- YEAH, BUT I MEAN,
YOU'RE NOT SOMEONE SPECIAL.

YOU'RE JUST--YOU'RE YOU,
YOU KNOW? AND IT--

I'M SORRY.

OKAY, LOOK,
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.

RIGHT NOW, I CAN'T EVEN
TALK TO YOU RIGHT.

- PETE.

[door closes]

COME ON, PETE,
JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE.

- ASHLEY,
I GAVE IT A CHANCE

AND THEN ANOTHER CHANCE,

AND I'M STILL
BATTING ZERO.

- I KNOW, BUT IT'S SIMPLE.

THE KEY TO A TRULY
MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION

IS JUST LISTENING.

- OKAY, I'M LISTENING.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GIVE IT
ONE MORE TRY, ALL RIGHT?

IF YOU START WITH
SOMETHING YOU KNOW,

THEN IF
THE GIRL'S INTERESTED,

YOU'LL KNOW RIGHT AWAY

WHETHER YOU GUYS HAVE
A CONNECTION OR NOT, ALL RIGHT?

SO YOU BE THE BOY
AND I'LL BE THE GIRL.

- OKAY, NOW, HOLD ON.

A BOY.
- [laughs]

- I'VE BEEN STUDYING AT THE
PLAYHOUSE IN SANTA MONICA.

- NICE.
- SORRY. UH, GO AHEAD.

- HI, I'M ASHLEY.

- HI, UH, I'M A BOY
NAMED PETE.

SO, HOW 'BOUT
THOSE LAKERS?

- I LOVE THE LAKERS.

YEAH, I THINK THIS, UH,
COULD BE THEIR YEAR

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, BABE RUTH
HAS, UH, BEEN HITTING WELL

AND, UM, THEY, UH,
THEY BROUGHT UP THAT, UM,

JOE NAMATH.

- OH, YEAH.
BROADWAY JOE.

SURE. WE HAVEN'T SEEN
WHAT HE'S MADE OF YET.

- I LOVE TO WATCH HIM
THROW THE PUCK, UH,

BUT I DON'T GET TO GAMES
AS OFTEN AS I'D LIKE TO.

- NO, CLEARLY YOU DON'T.

YOU KNOW, HONESTLY,
I THINK YOU WOULD LOVE, UH,

FOOT--BASEBALL, UH,
KAYAKING, LAWN DARTS,

WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE ACTUALLY
TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE.

UM, THE DODGERS HAVE GOT
A HOME GAME ON THURSDAY,

AND I'M GONNA BE
COVERING IT,

SO I'LL BE SITTING
IN THE PRESS BOX.

IF YOU WANT TO COME,

THAT'D BE A GREAT WAY
TO WATCH THE GAME.

- COOL. YEAH.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

- NICE. OKAY,
I'LL PICK YOU UP.

SAY, LIKE, 1:00?
- IT'S A DATE.

SEE?

- WHAT'S THAT? WHAT--

- YOU DID IT.

YOU TALKED AND I LISTENED,

AND THEN I TALKED
AND YOU LISTENED,

AND IT BECAME
AN ADULT CONVERSATION.

THAT'S GREAT.

YOU EVEN CHARMED ME
INTO GOING OUT WITH YOU.

- I DID, DIDN'T I?

WOW. WELL DONE, PETE.
UM, THAT'S GREAT.

AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THURSDAY.
IT'S GONNA BE REALLY FUN.

- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

- THE GAME, THE PRESS BOX,
THE--

- OH, THURSDAY NHT,

JEAN LaCAZE IS ACTUALLY
PREMIERING HIS FALL COLLECTION.

IT'S GONNA BE, LIKE,
THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR,

AND I'M INTERVIEWING HIM
BEFORE THE SHOW.

- YEAH, YEAH, NO, NO,
I WAS JUST JOKING AROUND.

I WAS STILL ROLE-PLAYING,
YOU KNOW.

- I'M SORRY. THURSDAY'S
KIND OF IMPORTANT.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH ME?

YEAH, I COULD EVEN
TAKE YOU BACKSTAGE

AND WE COULD USE IT SORT OF
AS LIKE A ROAD TEST, YOU KNOW?

THERE WILL BE TONS
OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN THERE.

IT'S PERFECT.

- UH, YOU'RE NOT BRINGING
SENOR HERNANDEZ?

- [laughs] UH, NO,
HE CAN'T MAKE IT.

THEY'RE STILL ON STORM VIEW.

IT'S ALL HANDS ON DECK.

- OKAY, WELL, I'LL, UH,

I'LL COME BY
AFTER THE GAME, THEN.

IT IS A DATE.
- PERFECT.

OOH.

[overlapping chatter]

- "'FIXING PETE.'

"I CAN ADMIT NOW
THAT I HAD MY DOUBTS

"GOING INTO THIS,
BUT NOW I CAN ALSO ADMIT

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
HOW FAR WE CAN GO."

[electronica]

♪

[overlapping chatter]

ISN'T THIS SO GREAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN,
I DON'T REALLY GET IT.

LIKE, WHAT IS THIS STUFF?

- IT'S NEW FASHION.
IT'S FUN, THOUGH, RIGHT?

- IT'S FUNNY.
- OH, COME ON.

WHY ARE THEIR CLOTHES
ANY MORE RIDICULOUS

THAN WHAT YOU'RE WEARING?

STYLE'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT
HOW YOU LOOK.

IT'S ABOUT
THE WAY YOU FEEL.

- OKAY, BUT THEY DO LOOK
RIDICULOUS.

- OF COURSE.
IT'S HAUTE COUTURE.

I MEAN, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
OUTLANDISH.

EVEN IF YOU WOULDN'T ACTUALLY
WEAR SOME OF THESE OUTFITS,

THEY'RE JUST MEANT
TO INSPIRE YOU

AND MAKE YOU BREAK OUT.

- YEAH, OKAY.

SO WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
HAVING FUN WITH THIS, HUH?

- YES.

- OKAY. I CAN DO THAT.
HOO-HAH.

- OH. OH, GOD.
- THERE YOU GO.

LOOK HOW FUN THIS IS.
YOU LIKE?

- MM, YEAH.
IT'S A GOOD LOOK ON YOU.

- DID YOU SEE THAT ONE?

YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT
IN THAT ONE.

- YOU THINK?
- FOR SURE.

I MEAN, BETTER THAN HER,
ANYWAY,

AND SHE LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

- ALL RIGHT.
- COME ON.

- LET'S GIVE IT A GO.

I THINK I CAN DO THIS ONE
ALL ON MY OWN.

- OH, FABULOUS.
BRAVO, BRAVO.

- GIVE ME THIS.
GO GET US A DRINK.

- OKAY. THAT'LL HELP.

- [laughs]

[overlapping chatter]

HMM.

I DO BELIEVE THERE'S A WOMAN
WHO'S GOT YOU IN HER SIGHTS.

- REALLY? WHERE?
- MM-MM-MM. COOL IT, COOL IT.

REDHEAD AT THE BAR.

- OKAY.

PARIS, KIM,
GREAT TO SEE YOU.

THANKS FOR COMING.

THAT REDHEAD?
- MM-HMM.

- YOU KIDDING ME?

OH, MAN, UM,
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS, UH,

I'D REALLY LIKE TO
MAKE HER ACQUAINTANCE

WITH YOUR PLEASURE.

- SO GET GOING.
- [exhales]

- REMEMBER,
THE KEY TO HAVING

A TRULY MEANINGFUL
CONVERSATION IS...

both: LISTENING.

- SO, UH,
HOW ABOUT THOSE LAKERS?

- EXCUSE ME?

- SORRY, THAT WORKED ONCE.

UM, MY NAME'S PETE CAMDEN.

I'M A SPORTSWRITER
FOR THE POST.

- WOW, THIS IS REALLY OFF
YOUR BEAT THEN, ISN'T IT?

- YEAH, IT REALLY IS.

UM, YOU KNOW, BUT WE ALL
WEAR CLOTHES, DON'T WE?

WE ALL PUT 'EM ON,
WE ALL TAKE 'EM OFF.

NOT THAT I'M SUGGESTING
YOU TAKE YOURS OFF,

OR THAT YOU DON'T.

I JUST...

UH...

YOU KNOW, BUT I--

I HAVEN'T EVEN
REALLY NOTICED

WHAT A BODY YOU HAVE
'CAUSE OF YOUR GREAT EARS

FOR, YOU KNOW, FOR PUTTING
YOUR EARRINGS IN.

UM, AND THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL,
THOSE EARRINGS.

I REALLY LIKE THEM.
THEY'RE BIG.

OH, GOSH.

YOU KNOW,
YOU--YOU SURE CAN DANCE.

I MEAN, I WAS--
I WAS WATCHING YOU,

AND IT'S GREAT.

SHOE?
- SHOE?

- YEAH, LOOK AT YOUR SHOES.
THEY'RE LOVELY.

THEY'RE BLACK AND THEY'VE
GOT THOSE ZIPPERS.

THEY'RE REALLY NICE.
- KENNETH COLE.

- NO, IT'S PETE. CAMDEN.
- [laughs]

- BUT THAT'S OKAY. I CAN'T
REMEMBER A NAME EITHER.

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?

I-I CAN GET YOU A DRINK.

- CYNTHIA.
CHAMPAGNE WOULD BE LOVELY.

- GREAT. UH, YOU FIRST.

HEY, BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

ARE YOU GOING?

- THANKS. YEAH.
IT'S 2:00 A.M.

I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO
INTERRUPT YOU AND CYNTHIA.

- OH, NO, SHE HAD TO--
SHE HAD TO LEAVE.

SHE'S GOT AN EARLY MORNING.

- THE, UH,
EARLY MORNING EXCUSE, HUH?

YEAH, I'VE USED THAT ONE
MYSELF.

- UH, NO, I THINK, UH,
I THINK THIS WAS FOR REAL.

I GOT HER NUMBER.
- THAT'S GREAT.

WOW, PETE! GRADUATING
AT THE TOP OF YOUR CLASS.

- YEAH, WELL, IT'S THANKS
TO YOUR TEACHING.

[both laugh]

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GUESS
WE'RE BOTH GOING THEN.

LET'S GO.

WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?

- UM, MY CAR IS IN THE LOT
ACROSS THE STREET.

- YEAH?

- I'M WAITING
FOR THE RAIN TO STOP,

BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO GET WET.

- WHY? YOU'RE JUST
GOING HOME.

- YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT
MY CLOTHES?

- COME ON, GO CRAZY.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

- NO.
- IT WILL INSPIRE YOU.

IT WILL HELP YOU BREAK OUT.
- OH! OKAY.

ONE...

both: TWO, THREE.

- [laughs]

- [squeals]

- WHOO!

AH!

- COME ON, LET'S GO!
COME ON!

[squeals]

- FEELS SO GOOD!

- AAH!
- COME ON.

- OH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- COME HERE.

- AAH!

- AH.

[pop music]

♪

[both laughing]

- OH.
- OOH.

- THAT WAS FUN.
- AH, SEE? I TOLD YOU.

A LITTLE WATER
NEVER CAN HURT ANYBODY.

- NO, I MEAN
THE WHOLE NIGHT.

IT WAS GREAT.
[laughs]

[kiss]

[sighs]

WELL, I GUESS
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

- YEAH.
TOMORROW IT IS.

- THANKS.

- ALL RIGHT. I'LL TAKE YOU
BACK TO YOUR CAR NOW.

[engine starts]

[clears throat]

- HI, PETE.

- AH, YOU CLEAN UP
PRETTY GOOD.

- THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO TELL YOU.

I HOPE YOU LEARNED
SOMETHING LAST NIGHT.

I KNOW I DID.

- YEAH. I'M, UH,
I'M GETTING THERE.

- [laughs]

- HEY, I BROUGHT YOU
A COPY OF MY BOOK.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

- OH.

- I THINK, UH,
BEING OUT LAST NIGHT

MADE ME UNDERSTAND THAT--

BYE.
- BYE.

- SO, UH,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- WHAT'S THIS?

- IT'S A NEWSPAPER,
PARKER.

BUT BY TOMORROW MORNING,
I'LL BET IT'LL BE LINING

THE FLOOR
OF SOMEONE'S BIRDCAGE.

- WELL, I'M TALKING
ABOUT YOUR COLUMN.

"SURE,
THERE WAS ANOTHER LOSS,

"BUT THE NIGHT WASN'T
WITHOUT ITS SUCCESSES.

"THE TEAM'S NEW UNIFORM"--
[laughs]--

"A PLAYFUL MELANGE
OF TANGERINE"--TANGERINE--

"AND DUSKY DAWN
IS A BOLD STATEMENT

THAT WE HOPE REFLECTS A BOLD
NEW ATTITUDE IN THE CLUBHOUSE."

"DUSKY DAWN"?
- IT'S A COLOR.

IT'S SORT OF HALFWAY IN BETWEEN
NEW MOON AND GARDEN STONE.

YOUR CREDENZA IS DUSKY DAWN.
- OH, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

I SHOULD HAVE
LET YOU STAY A SLOB.

[overlapping chatter]

[music playing]

♪

- HEY.

- UH, THIS PLACE?
REALLY? YOU?

- I AM TRYING TO
LET MYSELF GO.

- YEAH, BUT WHY DO I
HAVE TO SUFFER?

- OH, I ALREADY ORDERED
FOR US.

I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY

THAT THE CHILI-BURGERS HERE
ARE THE BEST IN L.A.

- TWO CHILI-BURGERS DELUXE,
LADIES.

BON APPETIT.

- IN BASKETS?

- [clears throat]

BABY STEPS.

- MMM, YOU'RE RIGHT.
NOT BAD.

WHAT ARE YOU READING?
- I HAVEN'T STARTED IT YET.

IT'S PETE'S BOOK.
HE GAVE IT TO ME.

OH, HE WROTE...

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- OH, NOTHING.

UH...

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU.

- HI.

- JANICE.
- THANK YOU.

- JANICE, QUICK QUESTION
FOR YOU.

- OKAY.
- THANKS.

- SO WITH ALL THIS TALK ABOUT
YOU AS THE PLAYOFF MVP,

I JUST WANT TO KNOW
HOW IT IS

THAT YOU MANAGED TO STAY
DOWN-TO-EARTH ENOUGH

TO BE THE KIND OF TEAM PLAYER
YOU WERE TODAY.

- WELL, IT'S THE TEAM THAT MAKES
THE MVP, YOU KNOW?

NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

HEY, WAIT, I KNOW YOU.

- I DON'T THINK SO.
- YEAH, YEAH.

YOU'RE THE GUY
I HAD BANNED FOR LIFE.

- OKAY, SO I HAVE
A NEW LIFE

AND A NEW CREDO,
I PROMISE.

AN ATHLETE IS AN ATHLETE

NO MATTER WHICH LOCKER ROOM
THEY CHANGE IN.

- OH, REALLY?

THEN I GUESS YOU
WOULDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM

WITH A LITTLE ONE-ON-ONE,
HMM?

- BRING IT ON, BABY.

- SEE WHO'S FOOLIN' WHO.

[overlapping chatter
and cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪

- [groans]

- THAT IDIOT'S GONNA KILL
HIS OWN REPUTATION.

[overlapping chatter]

PETE, PETE, PETE.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

WHAT THE HECK
WERE YOU THINKING?

- BRAVO.

[applause]

- GOOD JOB.

- [laughs]

[applause]

- WELL, BUT THEN AGAIN,
WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW?

[applause]

- YAY!
HE LOOKS WONDERFUL.

- IT'S AMAZING.

- YES.

- HEY, LOOK, IT'S YOUR FRIEND
THE FROG PRINCE

AND HE'S GOT HIMSELF A--
WOW!

- ASHLEY, WOW.
I--YOU--

- I DIDN'T KNOW.

- HOW ARE YOU, GUY?

- GOOD, GUY.

UM, ASHLEY, CHRIS,
THIS IS CYNTHIA.

CYNTHIA, ASHLEY BOYD
AND CHRISTOPHER HERNANDEZ.

- NICE TO MEET YOU.

I THINK I SAW YOU
AT THE LaCAZE SHOW?

- I REMEMBER.

SHALL WE?

- WHY?
WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING?

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THE ANGELS

TRADING THEIR
STAR OUTFIELDER, HUH?

- YOU KNOW, CHRISTOPHER, UM,
I PROMISED CYNTHIA

THERE WOULD BE NO SPORTS TALK
TONIGHT, SO...

- WOW. WHAT DOES THAT
LEAVE YOU WITH?

[laughs]

- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE DATING.

- WELL, WE--
- OH.

- YEAH.

- IT, UH, STARTED WITH
A CUTE LATE NIGHT PHONE CALL.

PETE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO, UH,
TALK TO SOMEONE SPECIAL.

AND HE'S
SUCH A GOOD LISTENER.

- REALLY?

- PETE SAYS THAT THE KEY

TO A TRULY MEANINGFUL
CONVERSATION IS LISTENING.

- YES, WELL, IT WAS REALLY
NICE MEETING YOU

AND I WILL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.

LET'S GO.
- OH.

- OKAY.

- SO HERE'S MY GREAT NEWS.

I WAS GOING TO WAIT
UNTIL DESSERT,

BUT I CAN'T HOLD BACK
ANY LONGER.

REMEMBER THAT WEEKEND ANCHOR JOB
I TOLD YOU ABOUT?

- MM-HMM.

- WELL, I'M
ON THE SHORT LIST FOR IT.

AND HERE'S THE BEST PART.

IT'S IN NEW YORK.

NEW YORK!

I GOT THE CALL THAT I NEED
TO FLY OUT IN THE MORNING

TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE CHEMISTRY'S THERE

BETWEEN ME
AND PENNY TAKAMURA.

IT'S PROBABLY
JUST A FORMALITY.

- THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S REALLY GREAT.

BUT, UM, NEW YORK?

YOU DIDN'T--YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
THAT IT WAS IN NEW YORK.

- WELL, I THOUGHT
YOU'D LIKE THE SURPRISE.

I'M SEEING YOU AND ME

IN A PENTHOUSE
ON CENTRAL PARK,

JUST LIKE
WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

- HMM.

YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO LIVE IN NEW YORK.

- WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO LIVE IN NEW YORK WITH YOU.

- YES, BUT I HAVE A JOB HERE.

A CAREER.

I MEAN, I CAN'T
JUST PICK UP AND GO.

- I KNOW, BUT THIS IS
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR US.

IT'S PERFECT.

- [chuckles]

YES.

JUST LIKE
WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

- THAT'S THE ATTITUDE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, WILL YOU
EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND?

- HELLO AGAIN.

- HI.

- PARDON ME, SIR.

- SO...

CYNTHIA SEEMS NICE.

- SHE IS.

I'M DOING ALL RIGHT.

COURSE, IT'S
ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, COACH.

- NAH, YOU HAD IT IN YOU
ALL ALONG.

IT WAS JUST HIDDEN.

- EVERYTHING'S
OKAY WITH CHRISTOPHER?

- CHRISTOPHER'S PERFECT.

YEP, EVERYBODY
LOVES CHRISTOPHER.

- EXCUSE ME, SIR.

- SO, UM...
CYNTHIA SEEMS NICE.

- OH, CYNTHIA, YEAH, UM...

- SORRY.

- YEAH.

SHE SEEMS NICE.

OH, MAN.

I HAVE TO GO
BACK TO CHRISTOPHER.

- YEAH, I GUESS I HAVE TO GO
BACK TO...

- CYNTHIA.

- YES.
- YEAH.

- CYNTHIA.
THANKS.

- THIS ISN'T RIGHT, RIGHT?

- RIGHT.

IT'S NOT RIGHT.

YOU HAVE CHRISTOPHER.

- RIGHT.

AND YOU ARE THE NEW YOU,

AND YOU SHOULD GO
ON THE ROAD WITH THAT, RIGHT?

- RIGHT.

YEAH.

- COURSE IF I BECOME
A NETWORK CORRESPONDENT,

I HOPE IT'S PARIS OR ROME
AND NOT THE UKRAINE.

I MEAN, SURE, I'M
A DEDICATED JOURNALIST AND ALL,

BUT THERE ARE LIMITS.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU DON'T LOOK WELL.

- YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
ACTUALLY FEELING THAT GREAT.

I THINK
I'M GONNA GO HOME.

- I UNDERSTAND.

IT'S ALL THE EXCITEMENT
OF MY NEWS.

HERE, LET ME
GET THE CHECK.

- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

UM, REALLY, STAY.

I'LL BE FINE.

I'LL CALL
YOU TOMORROW, OKAY?

[engine starts]

- WHAT GREAT GLASSES.

- YEAH, THANKS.
THEY'RE NICE, RIGHT?

ASHLEY PICKED THOSE OUT.

- TO ASHLEY...

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT
HER FOR THE LAST HOUR ANYWAY.

- OKAY.

OKAY, FORGET ABOUT ASHLEY.

WHEN I LOOK
IN YOUR EYES

AND HOLD YOUR HAND,

THE WHOLE WORLD
FADES AWAY.

- THAT'S--
THAT'S REALLY NICE.

- YEAH, ASHLEY SAID
THAT IT'S NICE TO--

- OKAY, I'M DONE.

- OKAY, I'M SORRY.

UH, I'M REALLY SORRY.

- PETE, YOU'RE
A VERY CHARMING MAN,

AND I'D LOVE
TO HEAR FROM YOU

WHEN YOU FINALLY
GET OVER YOUR EX.

- MY EX?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- ASHLEY.

- OH. NO, NO, NO.

ASHLEY'S NOT MY EX.

I MEAN, ASHLEY AND I
ARE JUST FRIENDS.

- WELL, THEN
MAYBE THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

woman on TV:
OH, REGINALD,

WHY CAN'T
I FIND THE WORDS

TO SAY HOW MUCH
I LOVE YOU?

WHY CAN'T YOU SEE IT--

[changes channel]

man: I KNOW YOU AND I
ARE FROM DIFFERENT PLANETS,

BUT LOVE IS ONE TRUE
INTERGALACTIC LANGUAGE.

[changes channels]

woman: JIM, I CAN'T GO
TO DODGE WITH YOU.

- OH!

woman: THE TRUTH IS I'M
REALLY IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER--

male announcer:
IT'S A TIE BALLGAME.

TONIGHT'S BROADCAST
IS BROUGHT TO YOU

BY THE LOS ANGELES POST,

THE BEST SPORTS COVERAGE
IN TOWN.

- READY FOR LUNCH?

- SURE.

- LOVE THE SHADES.

WORK THOSE ACCESSORIES.

OH, MY GOSH, ASH,

WHAT'S WRONG?

- [sighs]

IT'S BAD.

- CHRISTOPHER
BROKE UP WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T NEED
THAT LOSER.

THAT PERFECT LOSER.

- NO, IT'S NOT CHRISTOPHER.

- YOU'RE SICK.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW
THAT YOU LOOKED TERRIBLE.

IT'S CANCER, ISN'T IT?

YOU POOR, BRAVE SOUL.

YOU HAVE CANCER.

- NO.

NO, IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.

IT'S WORSE.

I THINK I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE
WITH PETE CAMDEN.

- THAT IS WORSE.

I MEAN, CANCER AT LEAST
WE CAN TREAT.

BUT...

LOVE?

I GUESS IF HE'S THE ONE,
THEN HE'S THE ONE.

- IT'S JUST
WITH CHRISTOPHER AND ME,

EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAID
THAT WE LOOKED PERFECT TOGETHER.

I DON'T KNOW,
IT ALWAYS FELT

LIKE SOMETHING WAS MISSING.

- SO WHAT WAS MISSING?

- EVERYTHING
THAT THE EYE CAN'T SEE.

- WHAT CAN I SAY?

LOVE IS LOVE.

- BUT HE'S NOT INTERESTED.

- NOT INTERESTED?

NOT YET, YOU MEAN.

COMPARED TO ALL THE OTHER THINGS
YOU'VE CHANGED ABOUT HIM,

THIS ONE'S A GIMME.

- YEAH, BUT CHRISTOPHER...
AND CYNTHIA.

HE'S DATING SOME GIRL
NAMED CYNTHIA,

AND I THINK
HE REALLY LIKES HER.

OH! THE WHOLE THING
WILL JUST GET TOO MESSY.

- THEN GET MESSY.

GET MESSY, GIRL.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

- OF COURSE, I AM.

- [laughing]

- A FULL HOUR
WITH WRITER PETE CAMDEN

ON TODAY'S TARYN.
DON'T MISS IT.

AND LATER WE WILL TELL YOU

HOW TO STRETCH
YOUR DOLLAR FARTHER...

- HEY, PETE.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE
A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

- [sighs]

I'M FINE.

- WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE
YOUR DOG JUST DIED.

- IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?

- NO.

I DON'T HAVE A DOG.

- SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

- THINK I'M IN LOVE
WITH MY TEACHER.

- YOU'RE NOT IN SCHOOL.

- MY CHARM SCHOOL TEACHER.

- DOES THE GIRL
KNOW HOW YOU FEEL?

- NO, SHE DOESN'T.

AND, UH, I CAN'T TELL HER,

'CAUSE SHE'S
GOT SOMEBODY.

IT'S A TV NEWS GUY
NAMED CHRISTOPHER.

- CHRISTOPHER.

HERNANDEZ?

HEY, YOU TALKING
ABOUT ASHLEY BOYD?

- YOU KNOW, PETEY,

YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY
CHOPPED LIVER.

- YEAH.

YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF GIRLS

OUT THERE,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

AND I'VE TRIED
GOING OUT WITH THEM.

BUT, UH, THERE'S
ONLY ONE GIRL FOR ME.

THERE'S ONLY ONE ASHLEY.

- THEN GO GET ASHLEY.

- [sighs]

[TV show theme music
playing in background]

[stage manager
giving orders]

ASHLEY, I HAVE SOMETHING
THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU.

NO, UM...

[cheers and applause]

- HEY! ALL RIGHT!

WE'RE GONNA START
THE SHOW IN JUST A MINUTE,

BUT TODAY'S
YOUR LUCKY DAY.

MY GUEST IS THE AUTHOR
OF THE PERFECT PAST TIME,

NONE OTHER THAN
STAR SPORTSWRITER PETE CAMDEN.

[cheers and applause]
HUH?

AND MY AUDIENCES HAVE
THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO.

WE'RE CALLED TARYN LIVE,

BUT WE'RE ONLY LIVE
ON THE EAST COAST.

SO THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TIME
TO GO HOME

AND WATCH YOURSELVES ON TV!

[cheers and applause]

- YOU KNOW, ASHLEY,
IN THESE PAST FEW WEEKS,

I HAVE REALIZED
THAT MY SEARCH

FOR MEANING IN MY LIFE
HAS COME TO AN END,

BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND
THE PERSON WHO COMPLETES ME.

[sighs]

[groans]

[cheers and applause]

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, YOU READY?

LET'S MAKE A TV SHOW.

[cheers and applause]

- ASHLEY, I'VE FINALLY
REACHED THE END ZONE

IN MY QUEST FOR LOVE.

THE END ZONE?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

PETE, YOU SOUND
RIDICULOUS. OH!

- PETE!

I AM SORRY
I'M SO LATE.

THE TRAFFIC WAS STOPPED.

- OKAY, ASHLEY,

THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU.

OKAY.
NOW THAT WE'RE FRIENDS...

COMPLETE FRIENDS...

- I KNOW, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT TO TELL YOU, TOO.

- NO, HOLD ON,
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS, SO...

- LET ME GO FIRST.
- YOU FIRST.

both: OKAY, YOU FIRST.

- [laughs]
- OKAY, LOOK,

NOW THAT WE'VE BEEN SPENDING
SO MUCH TIME--

- YOU'RE ON.
- WAIT!

I'M SORRY, MY HEAD
IS JUST SPINNING RIGHT NOW.

I REALLY WANT TO TELL YOU--

- YOU NEED TO TELL HIM LATER.

- WE'RE LIVE IN FIVE, FOUR...
- [groans]

- THREE, TWO...

- EVERYBODY, LET'S WELCOME
PETE CAMDEN!

- AH!

[cheers and applause]

- I'M SO PLEASED
YOU CAME BY TO SEE ME.

- YEAH, THANKS A LOT, TARYN,

AND THANK YOU ALL.

APPRECIATE IT.

- OKAY, SO YOU KNOW
I'M KIND OF A GIRLY GIRL.

[laughter]

SO I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED
ABOUT A BOOK ABOUT BASEBALL,

BUT YOU PULLED ME IN.

THE PERFECT PAST TIMEIS HOT.

- WELL, THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH, I TRIED TO WRITE IT
FOR EVEN NON-SPORTS FANS, SO...

- YEAH. WELL, AND EVERYONE
IN OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE TODAY

IS GOING HOME
WITH A FREE COPY.

- WHOO!

- SO WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT,

EVEN THOUGH THE GAME
IS A COMPETITION...

[cell phone vibrating]

EVERYONE ON THE FIELD IS
STILL PLAYING FOR THE SAME TEAM.

- YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT WAY
OF PUTTING IT, TARYN.

- CHRISTOPHER, CAN
I CALL YOU RIGHT BACK?

- I GOT THE JOB!

YOU'RE TALKING
TO THE NEW WEEKEND ANCHOR

AT WMET TV 3.

- THAT'S REALLY GREAT,
CHRISTOPHER.

- HA! I KNOW!

- WELL, ENOUGH
ABOUT BASEBALL.

I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOU

AND YOUR LIFE.

IS THERE ANYONE SPECIAL
WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

GIVE US THE SCOOP.

IS THERE ANYONE
YOU HAVE YOUR EYE ON?

- UM, WE'VE BEEN SPENDING
A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER LATELY,

AND IT'S SOMEONE THAT I WOULD
HAVE NEVER GOTTEN TO KNOW

IF IT WEREN'T
FOR MY PUBLISHER

THINKING THAT I NEEDED
A LITTLE SPRUCING UP.

- OKAY.
[laughter]

- CYNTHIA.

- NO, STILL ME.

COME OUT TO NEW YORK
WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

I KNOW THE TIMING'S BAD,
BUT LET'S JUST DO IT.

- RIGHT, RIGHT, YEAH.
- UM...

NO, UM, ACTUALLY,
CHRISTOPHER,

THE TIMING IS PERFECT.

- GREAT!
I'LL CALL YOU FROM MY HOTEL.

- WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

- I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM,

AND NOBODY WILL HELP ME.

LOOK, I GOTTA GO.

- I MEAN,
WHEN WE FIRST MET,

UH, I COULD BARELY
EVEN TALK TO HER,

BUT SHE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE

IN WAYS THAT
I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE.

[door closes]

BUT IT'S NOT WHAT
SHE'S DONE FOR ME

THAT MAKES ME LOVE HER.

IT'S, UH...
IT'S WHO SHE IS.

- AWW!

- TARYN, CYNTHIA
AND I ARE GREAT FRIENDS,

BUT THAT'S
NOT WHO I'M IN LOVE WITH.

- JUST SAY HER NAME ALREADY.

[laughter]

- OKAY, WELL, YOU, UH...

YOU ALL KNOW HER.

UM, ASHLEY BOYD.

[cheers and applause]

- I DON'T MIND PACKING UP
YOUR APARTMENT FOR THE MOVERS,

BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
SO SUDDENLY?

- BECAUSE I'M SO HAPPY!

- YOU ARE?

- YES.
I LOVE CHRISTOPHER.

WE'RE GONNA LIVE IN A PENTHOUSE
ON CENTRAL PARK,

AND HE'S GONNA BE
A REALLY GOOD LISTENER.

WHICH IS THE KEY

TO A TRULY MEANINGFUL
CONVERSATION, BY THE WAY.

- ASH, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

- I'M FINE.

PETE PROFESSED HIS LOVE
TO CYNTHIA ON TARYNTODAY.

I LOST HIM.

AND I HATE CHILI.

UNH!

STUPID JACKET.

- WELL, IT WAS GONNA GET
WRINKLED ON THE TRIP ANYWAY.

- I HAVE TO GO
BY THE OFFICE,

AND THEN I'M OFF
TO THE AIRPORT.

DUMB...HANGER!

[bag zips]

PROMISE YOU'LL VISIT ME.

I HAVE TO GO.

- THAT'S ALL THE TIME
THAT WE HAVE FOR TODAY.

THANKS, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU.

AND YOU,
GO GET BUSY.

[laughs]

[cheers and applause]

- ASHLEY, DID YOU HEAR
WHAT I SAID?

I MEANT EVERY--

HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN ASHLEY?

- UH, SHE GOT A CALL
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW

AND TOOK OFF.

- I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

- YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT,

YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY IN,

YOU DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT.

HEY! LOOK AT THIS!

MICHAEL JORDAN IS COMING
OUT OF RETIREMENT AGAIN.

WOW! LEBRON IS QUITTING
TO BECOME AN ARUGULA FARMER!

WHOA.

DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN'.

AND KOBE IS RELEASING
A CD OF POLKA HITS.

DUDE,

SAY SOMETHIN'.

- USE A COASTER.

- [sighs]

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

- THE PROBLEM?

THE PROBLEM IS
I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL

I CAN'T HAVE.

- YOU REALLY DO
LOVE HER, HUH?

- YEAH.

- WELL, THEN MAYBE
YOU SHOULD CALL HER.

- AND SAY WHAT?

SHE'S ALREADY GOT
CHRISTOPHER HERNANDEZ.

HE'S PERFECT.

- COME ON, MAN,
SO ARE YOU.

JUST CALL HER.

- [sighs]

COME ON.
WHAT'S THE POINT?

SHE LEFT THE STUDIO,

EVEN AFTER I
PROCLAIMED MY LOVE

FROM COAST TO COAST, SO...

LOOK, CLEARLY, SHE DOESN'T
CARE ABOUT ME, SO.

- YOU GOTTA
GIVE IT A SHOT.

I SHOULD HAVE PUSHED YOU

WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED
TALKING NICE ABOUT HER,

BUT I DIDN'T.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

OKAY, MAYBE I DIDN'T
WANT TO MEDDLE.

MAYBE I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE
MY CHICK MAGNET PARTNER.

MAYBE MY EYES
WERE CLOUDED

BY A TOUCH
OF A JEALOUS BROMANCE.

I DON'T KNOW.

- OKAY, GIVE ME--

JUST GIVE ME THAT THING,
WILL YA?

[sighs]

- SIT RIGHT HERE.

[phone dialing]
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?

[line ringing]

[rings]

[TV playing]

- HELLO.

- HI.

IS ASHLEY THERE?

- PETE? IT'S MANDY.

- OH, HEY, MANDY.

UM, YEAH,
I WANT TO TALK TO ASHLEY.

YOU KNOW, I NEED
TO TALK TO ASHLEY.

- WELL, I'M SURE THAT SHE WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU, TOO,

WHETHER OR NOT
SHE'LL ADMIT IT.

BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, SHE'S
ALREADY ON HER WAY TO NEW YORK.

- NEW YORK?

- I HEARD ALL ABOUT YOU

AND THAT COW CYNTHIA
AND ALL.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- ON THE TARYNSHOW,

YOU SAID
YOU HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL.

- YEAH, I DID,

BUT NOT CYNTHIA.

I SAID ASHLEY
WAS THAT SPECIAL PERSON.

YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE SHOW?

- HOW COULD I?
IT'S JUST COMING ON RIGHT NOW.

OH, NO.

THAT MEANS ASHLEY
HASN'T WATCHED--

UM, AND SHE'S ON THE WAY
TO THE AIRPORT.

YOU HAVE TO STOP HER!
CALL HER CELL!

- OKAY, I GOT IT.
THANKS.

[phone beeps]

[line ringing]

[cell phone ringing]

[rings]

- WELL, I GUESS
THAT DIDN'T WORK.

- OKAY, HEY, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT FLIGHT SHE'S ON?

- NO. I, UM...

OH! UM, SHE SAID SHE HAD TO STOP
BY THE OFFICE FIRST.

GO!
GO, GO, GO, GO!

- OKAY, THANKS.

LOOK, IF I RUSH,
I CAN CATCH HER AT THE POST.

- LISTEN,
IF YOU GOTTA HURRY,

LEAVE IT TO A PROFESSIONAL.

I'M GONNA DRIVE, OKAY?

- ALL RIGHT.

[horn honks]

- COME ON!

WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID?

[horns honking]

I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU.

- WHY AREN'T WE MOVING?

- 'CAUSE IT'S RAINING,
AND IT'S LOS ANGELES.

WHAT ARE YOU, NEW HERE?

- I DON'T GET IT.

IT STARTS TO RAIN,

AND SUDDENLY PEOPLE
CAN'T DRIVE?

IT'S GONNA TAKE US
THREE HOURS

TO GO THE FIVE MILES
TO THE OFFICE.

- BUT WHY LEAVE US NOW?

AND SO SUDDENLY.

- I'M SORRY,
MRS. FRIEDLANDER,

BUT WE'RE MOVING TO NEW YORK.

CHRISTOPHER GOT THE JOB.

- OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

WONDERFUL FOR HIM.

TERRIBLE FOR US.

YOU EVEN TOLD ME,

YOUR BIGGEST DREAM
WAS TO BECOME THE FIRST VOICE

OF WEST COAST GLAMOUR.

"FIRST LOOK" IS YOURS.

- I'M SORRY.

I'LL EMAIL YOU THE FINAL ARTICLE
FROM NEW YORK, OKAY?

- YOU MUST
REALLY BE IN LOVE.

- I AM.

THAT'S WHY I'M LEAVING.

THANK YOU...

FOR EVERYTHING.

- YOU'RE MOST WELCOME.

- IF YOU HAD TOLD ME
TWO WEEKS AGO

THAT I'D BE SITTING HERE
RIGHT NOW

TELLING YOU THAT ASHLEY BOYD

WAS MY SOUL MATE,

I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
YOU WERE CRAZY.

YOU KNOW, ONE DAY,
WE WERE STANDING ON THE STREET,

AND SHE PRETENDED THAT SHE
KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT SPORTS,

AND, I SWEAR,
I FELT LIKE

I COULD HAVE MARRIED HER
RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT.

[rain falling]

[horns blaring]

[honks horn]

- LET'S GO, PEOPLE!

IT'S CALLED RAIN
AND IT'S MADE OUT OF WATER!

GET OVER IT!
[horn honks]

I FEAR
MY APPEAL TO LOGIC

HAS FALLEN
UPON DEAF EARS.

- BUT SHE HAS CHANGED
MY LIFE

IN WAYS THAT
I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE.

GO, GO, GO, GO,
GO, GO, GO, GO!

I...I MEAN, THAT'S IT.

GAME'S OVER.

THE FAT LADY SUNG.

- "SANG."

- NO, IT'S "SUNG."

- I'M SORRY, AMIGO.

MARTY GIORDANO,

PROFESSIONAL CAB DRIVER,
HAS FAILED YOU.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS GAME ISN'T OVER.

WE ARE JUST ABOUT
TO START OVERTIME.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

- I'M MAKIN' A RUN FOR IT.

- NO!
YOU CAN'T GO OUT THERE!

NOT IN...WEATHER.

- IT'S RAIN, MARTY.

[horns blaring]

- HE'S GONNA GET WET.

- YOU KNOW, AND SHE IS
BACKSTAGE RIGHT NOW.

AND AS SOON AS THIS SHOW
IS OVER,

I AM GONNA GO BACK THERE...
- [blows nose, sniffles]

- AND I'M GONNA ASK
HER TO MARRY ME.

I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE
THIS CHOICE.

I MEAN, MY HEART
JUST MADE THIS CHOICE FOR ME.

IT JUST FEELS ABSOLUTELY
LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO BE.

- THAT'S BECAUSE
IT W MEANT TO BE.

- WHOA! WHOA, WHOA!

[panting]

- SO, MARK AND OWEN...

Pete on TV:
YEAH, IT'S CORNY,

BUT IT'S, UH...IT'S TRUE.

- [whispers]
NO, NO, NO, NO.

[audio from TV
continues indistinctly]

- ...BUT SHE HAS CHANGED
MY LIFE

IN WAYS THAT
I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE.

BUT IT'S NOT WHAT SHE'S DONE FOR
ME THAT MAKES ME LOVE HER.

IT'S, UH...

IT'S WHO SHE IS.

[applause]

- [deep breath]

[Pete continues
speaking on TV]

Pete: [clearly] ASHLEY.

ASHLEY,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO.

I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE

WITH ME.

I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY
ABOUT ANYBODY BEFORE.

I MEAN, ALL KINDS OF WOMEN
ARE FINALLY NOTICING ME.

- [laughs, sniffles]

- I COULD LIVE THE LIFE
THAT MOST GUYS DREAM ABOUT.

ALL I DREAM ABOUT IS YOU.

- WHAT ABOUT THE SHOW

AND CYNTHIA?

- NO, NO. YOU LEFT THE STUDIO
BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO...

Pete on TV:
YOU ALL KNOW HER.

I LOVE ASHLEY BOYD.

YEAH.

I LOVE ASHLEY BOYD.

[applause]

I LOVE YOU, ASHLEY BOYD.

I'VE SAID IT.
I'LL SAY IT AGAIN.

I LOVE ASHLEY BOYD.
- I LOVE YOU, ASHLEY.

I LOVE YOU.

- AND I LOVE YOU,
PETE CAMDEN.

[laughs]

[gasps] WHA--

- ASHLEY...

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

- [sniffles, laughs]

THIS IS SO NOT HOW I PLANNED
MY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TO BE.

YES.

- AWW!
[applause]

[cheers and applause]

- THAT A WAY, PETE!

- THE TRANSFORMATION
WAS COMPLETE,

BUT IN A WAY I NEVER
WOULD HAVE PREDICTED.

HE WAS FIXED,

BUT SO WAS I.

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