Original subtitles

[DOOR OPENS] [SIGHS]

EASY THERE, PLAYA.

IT'S ALL OVER NOW.

HEY, WHAT'S WITH CHUCKLES?

YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN NOTHING GOES RIGHT?

UHH. AHH.

THAT BAD, HUH?

LET'S JUST SAY, IF JAKE'S DAY

WAS A WACKY JAPANESE GAME SHOW,

IT WOULD PROBABLY LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS...

AAH!

POP QUIZ!?

BUT-- BUT I DIDN'T EVEN READ THE CHAPTER.

WHOO WHOO WHOO! A POP QUIZ.

WATCH AS REPORT CARD GRADE

IS CHOPPED LIKE SASHIMI. HA HA!

IS CAUSE FOR UNHAPPINESS, NO?

HEY, COOL!

THEY PUT IN A CHILI BAR.

WHOA, JAKE! UH, THAT'S THE 5-ALARMER.

YOU GOTTA PREP YOUR TONGUE WITH SOME 2-ALARMER FIRST.

DING, DING.

WHO'S THE FIRE BREATHER HERE, SPUD?

HUH!

[SPLAT]

CHILI SPIT. PRETTY GIRL.

OH, NO!

HIYA! HA HA HA!

A SKATEBOARDING CONTEST?

NOW, THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN'T LOSE.

EYES ON THE BRADSTER.

ATTENTION, OVER-PADDED DORKLINGS.

THE BRADSTER HEREBY PROCLAMATES

THAT HE'S GONNA BE SKATIN' AND WINNIN'

THE 5 BOROUGHS SKATE JAMBOREE!

OW-WHOO!

BOY, YOU DON'T KNOW A NOSE GRIND

FROM A PORK RIND.

YEAH, THAT'S WHY MY DAD

HIRED SOMEBODY WHO DOES...

MY PERSONAL TRAINER,

PRO BOARDER TOMMY KING!

[CROWD GASPING]

HEY, HEY!

HA HA! WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY?

UNFAIR SKATEBOARDING HELP.

IT IS NOT THE BOMB.

AND...

SO ON AND SO FORTH.

YOU GET THE IDEA.

THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THIS DAY

IS THAT IT'S OVER.

JAKE! URGENT ASSIGNMENT!

YOU MUST GO IMMEDIATELY.

UHH!

AW, MAN!

GRANDPA SURPRISE!

HA HA HA!

START YOUR THEME SONG NOW!

¶ HE'S COOL ¶

¶ HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ¶

¶ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL ¶

¶ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ A REAL LIVE WIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HIS SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY WELL, WHAT'S UP, G? ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M A DRAGON, I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ IT'S MY DESTINY ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR OF THE N.Y.C. ¶

YA HEARD?

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

URGENT ASSIGNMENT? COME ON, G.

HASN'T MY DAY BEEN BAD ENOUGH?

UH, WAH, WAH, WHINEY,

BIMBOOEY, HOO HOO.

YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS?

GET OVER YOURSELF!

[STOMACH GROWLS]

OH...HEH HEH. SORRY.

I GET MOODY WHEN I'M HUNGRY.

SEE, THE VET PUT ME ON A NEW DIET TODAY--

SAYS I GOTTA TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GARBAGE? HEH HEH!

ANYWAY, I'M THINKING MAYBE I JUST GET THIS DAY OUT OF THE WAY,

AND THEN DO YOUR THING TOMORROW.

COOL? [SPEAKS MANDARIN]

NOT COOL. GRANDPA DOES NOT USE THE WORD "URGENT"

UNLESS HE MEANS IT.

INSIDE THIS BOX

IS THE LATEST CREATION OF THE N.E.R.D.

THE NERD?

NEW ELVEN RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT.

BUNCH OF TECH-DWEEB ELVES

WORKING ON INVENTING NEW MAGICAL OBJECTS.

PFFT! TALK ABOUT PUTTIN' THE EEK IN GEEK.

[LAUGHING]

OH, THAT'S JUST THE DIET TALKING.

THEY'RE GOOD KIDS.

UNFORTUNATELY,

SOME OF THE INVENTIONS ARE SO POWERFUL,

THEY MUST BE DESTROYED RATHER THAN FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DESTROY IT THEMSELVES?

BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO BUSY

TRYING TO SOLVE THE EQUATION OF WHY THEY NEVER GET DATES!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I'M SAYIN' THEY'RE NERDS!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

FU DOG! OHH!

2 WORDS: I'M HUNGRY!

IT REQUIRES POWERFUL MAGIC

TO DESTROY POWERFUL MAGIC.

YOU MUST DELIVER THIS BOX TO THE WITCHES OF WOODSTOCK.

THEY ALONE CAN BREW A POTION

STRONG ENOUGH FOR THE JOB.

UH, YEAH, CAN THEY BREW A VEGETABLE JUICE

THAT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE SOMETHING AN OGRE YAKKED UP?

BLAH! BLAH!

FLABA, FLABA FLABA, FLIBBITY FLAP.

AIYAA! AND TAKE FU DOG WITH YOU.

OH, PERFECT.

NOW I GOTTA GO ON A MISSION WITH GROUCHY GROUCHOWSKY.

MOODY TODAY. AM I RIGHT?

LET'S SEE HERE.

I THINK WE NEED TO HEAD WEST.

OH, WAIT. AM I HOLDING THIS THING UPSIDE-DOWN?

UHH. OW. OOH

WHAT ARE YOU--HELLO?

NOT BRIGHTENING MY DAY HERE, FU.

HEY, I DON'T HAVE EVERY SECRET ISLAND

ON THE HUDSON MEMORIZED, ALL RIGHT?

GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE OF THE WITCHES OF WOODSTOCK LIVE ON A--

NEVER LOOK DOWN NOW!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

WITCHES. GREAT.

THE LAST THING I NEED ON A DAY LIKE THIS

IS TO SPEND TIME WITH SOME UGLY, SCRAGGLY-HAIRED--

HELLO, LADIES!

JAKE LONG, MEET THE WITCHES OF WOODSTOCK--

MONICA, ANICA, AND BUBONICA.

OH, YAY!

I LOVE HIS HAIR.

AND HE'S SO CUTE.

HEY, I SAW HIM FIRST.

I CALL DIBS!

IT IS SO TOO LATE FOR DIBS. I'LL HEX YOU GOOD!

UM, HUH...

NO NEED TO FIGHT, LADIES.

AH! HE'S SO GOOD WITH PEOPLE!

LET'S HEAR IT FOR JAKE.

Witches: HOORAY!

AAH!

THE DESTRUCTION POTION IS ALMOST READY.

YOU DON'T MIND WAITING?

NA! I'M KINDA DIGGIN' IT OUT HERE.

YOU KNOW, THE BEAUTY OF NATURE...

REALLY? I THINK BEING OUT HERE ALONE

GETS SO SCARY.

BOO! AAH!

SEE? YEAH.

SOMETIMES I WISH WE HAD SOMEONE

TO CHECK UP ON US.

SOMEONE STRONG AND BRAVE

TO PROTECT US FROM DANGER.

MAYBE THIS ISN'T SUCH A BAD DAY AFTER ALL.

[GROWLS]

Anica: AAH! MOUNTAIN GOBLINS!

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WE WANT, BOY!

GIVE US THE BOX,

AND THERE WILL BE NO TROUBLE.

UH, LOOKS LIKE WORD GOT OUT

ABOUT THE ELVES' LITTLE PROJECT.

HOW'S THAT POTION COMIN'?

ANOTHER MINUTE? GOOD. DRAGON UP!

GET THE BOX!

YA'LL EVER PLAY BOWLING FOR GOBLINS?

IT'S EASY.

FIRST, YOU GATHER YOUR PINHEADS...

AND THEN YOU STRIKE!

NOW!

WHAT? SINCE WHEN DO GOBLINS FLY?

WHOA!

THE BOX IS OURS!

WE'RE HERE. DON'T WORRY, JAKE.

WE'LL GET THEM!

HE HAS REINFORCEMENTS. RETREAT!

WHAT?

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD REINFORCEMENTS.

YOU DON'T.

UH, HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD

AN AUDIO ILLUSION SPELL BEFORE?

Voices: YEAH! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

OH, HEX. THERE GOES THE LAST OF OUR YETI FUR.

WE CAN'T BREW MORE POTION WITHOUT IT,

AND WE WON'T GET ANOTHER SHIPMENT UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

A WEEK? THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO HOLD ON TO IT.

I MEAN, YOU'RE SO GOOD AT PROTECTING THINGS ANYWAY.

[ALL GIGGLE]

LET'S GO, KID.

UGH--WITCHES.

[SIGHS] WORST DAY EVER.

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SPEND MY WHOLE WEEK

GUARDING THIS--

WHAT'S IN HERE, ANYWAY?

AH, KID, MAYBE IT'S JUST A HUNGER,

BUT MY GUT'S GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

WHOA.

IT LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER?

CHEESE ON A BISCUIT,

THOSE ELVES REALLY ARE NERDS.

WHAT'S ALL THIS WRITING ON THE BACK?

WELL, I HAVEN'T READ ELF

SINCE I DATED ONE BACK IN THE 1800s,

BUT--HMM, IN THE TITLE HERE

I CAN PICK OUT THE WORDS CHEAT, CODE, LIFE.

AND THIS SEQUENCE HERE IS LABELED "REPLAY" FOR SOME REASON.

THAT'S WHAT MY DAY NEEDS--A REPLAY.

OR AT LEAST A DO-OVER ON THAT GOBLIN FIGHT.

UH, JAKE, YOU MIGHT NOT WANNA--

I MEAN, SINCE WHEN DO GOBLINS

SPROUT WINGS AND FLY--

Both: AAH!

AAH! MOUNTAIN GOBLINS!

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WE WANT, BOY!

GIVE US THE BOX, AND THERE WILL BE NO TROUBLE.

OK, I'M HAVING SOME SERIOUS DÉJÁ FU HERE.

NO, WE'RE HAVING A REPLAY.

THIS THING REALLY IS A CONTROLLER.

FOR REAL LIFE!

THAT STUFF ON THE BACK IS ALL CHEAT CODES!

YEAH, I DON'T SPEAK GEEK.

CHEAT CODES ARE WHAT YOU PUNCH IN

TO GET AN EDGE IN THE GAME.

BOOST YOUR STRENGTH, GET SPECIAL WEAPONS.

I JUST HIT THE CODE FOR REPLAY,

AND HERE WE ARE!

I WONDER WHAT ELSE THEY GOT HERE.

GET THE BOX!

UH, YOU MIGHT WANNA SAVE PLAYTIME FOR LATER, KID.

[MUMBLES]

GAME ON.

DRAGON UP!

STRENGTH BOOST!

I AM DEFINITELY GONNA HAVE TO WRITE THIS ONE DOWN.

Monica: HA HA! ALL RIGHT!

HE'S SO CUTE!

NOW!

OH, NO. NOT THIS TIME.

[BEEPS] WHOA!

CHECK THE SERIOUS AIR! WHOA!

I'M ON SUPER-SPEED HERE.

[SPEAKING GOBLIN]

HE KNOWS THE CODES!

WE'LL FIND ANOTHER WAY TO GET THE CONTROLLER.

RETREAT!

YO, THE GAME'S STILL GOING!

AND THE POTION'S READY, TOO.

YAY! HUGS!

AW, MAN.

I BARELY EVEN GOT TO USE THIS THING.

[GROANING]

I'LL TEACH YOU TO FRIGHTEN MY LADIES, CHUMP!

AAH!

OOH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.

HOPE YOU HAVE MORE OF THAT DESTRUCTION POTION.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE OUT OF YETI FUR,

BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE'LL GET MORE IN A WEEK.

I'M SURE A BIG HERO MAN LIKE YOU

CAN GUARD IT THAT LONG.

HEH HEH. WELL--

BUT YOU BETTER COME AND SEE US BEFORE THEN.

OH, YES, PLEASE.

WE WILL BE SO HEARTBROKEN IF YOU DON'T.

YOU, UH, REMEMBER WHICH ONE'S THE REPLAY CODE?

WHOO-HOO.

[BEEPS]

WE WILL BE SO HEART-BROKEN IF YOU DON'T.

AW, YEAH.

I THINK THIS IS TURNING INTO A VERY GOOD DAY.

SHIELD, INVISIBILITY, BOOST FOR AGILITY,

SPEED, INTELLIGENCE, CHARM--HA HA!

THIS THING IS OFF THE CHAIN.

[BEEPS] NO, THAT THING IS OFF LIMITS.

WE HAD OUR FUN.

NOW LET'S LOCK IT UP IN THE VAULT BEFORE IT'S--

DON'T YOU GET WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE, FU?

I NEVER HAVE TO HAVE A BAD DAY AGAIN!

THIS IS GONNA LET ME CHEAT CODE MY WAY TO A PERFECT LIFE!

OH, NO, IT AIN'T.

NOW HAND IT OVER.

UH, YOU SURE THERE'S NOTHING YOU WANNA CHEAT?

LIKE, MAYBE...

YOUR RABBIT FOOD DIET?

Fu's Stomach: LISTEN TO HIM!

IS THERE A CODE THAT WILL MAKE THIS TASTE LIKE A CHEESEBURGER?

[ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING]

TAKE ORDER?

YEAH, WE'LL HAVE THE FRONT SIDE TO START--

BACKSIDE FOR DESSERT.

[BOTH SIGH]

WHOO-HOO-HOO!

BABY. AHH.

I'M AS--HICCUP--

STUFFED AS THAT TURDUCKHEN I JUST ATE.

READY FOR A--HICCUP-- REPLAY?

TAKE ORDER?

NAH, WE HAD A LATE LUNCH.

UH, SPUDINSKI,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AAH!

OOF!

I'M PRACTICING MY NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN,

ONE ARM, 50/50 WIGGYWACK MOONBOOT BLOODRUSH HEADSTAND.

I FIGURE, I GOTTA BRING OUT A PRIMO TRICK

TO BEAT BRAD'S TOMMY KING TRAINING.

TSK! SPUD, MY MAN.

DON'T WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE

ON PAINFULLY UNNECESSARY WIPEOUTS.

BUT, JAKE, THE CRASHES GIVE ME EXPERIENCE.

AND EXPERIENCE IS THE MOTHER OF BOTH SKILL AND REWARD.

INSTEAD OF GROUNDING ME, MY DAD MAKES ME

READ MOTIVATIONAL BUSINESS BOOKS.

THAT WAS FROM RON SLAM'S

THE GRINDSTONE: IS YOUR NOSE TO IT?

[SCOFFS] OLD SCHOOL.

I SAY WHY SUFFER A THOUSAND FAILURES

WHEN YOU CAN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME, EVERY TIME?

YOU BLINGED YOUR KAMIKAN BIG-HAND KUNG FU CONTROLLER.

AND HOW DOES THIS TAKE THE PLACE OF PRACTICE, AGAIN?

NO, IT'S A MAGICAL CONTROLLER FOR LIFE.

AND I GOT ALL THE CHEAT CODES, BABY!

CHECK THIS!

LET'S SEE-- BOOST AGILITY,

AND A LITTLE HIGH JUMP

AND SOME REVERSE GRAVITY FOR THE HANG TIME.

HEY, YO, BRAD--

CHECK OUT WHAT A REAL SKATER LOOKS LIKE, FOOL.

YOU BETTER TEACH ME ALL THAT!

DADDY COVERS OVERTIME?

YEAH, WE'LL PAY, WE'LL PAY.

RIGHT ON.

GUYS, CAN I NOT GET A BUMP-BUMP

FOR SCHOOLIN' THE CHUMP-CHUMP?

I DON'T KNOW, JAKE.

I LOVE MAGICAL POWERS AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY,

BUT RON SLAM SAYS THE ONLY TREASURES WORTH HAVING

ARE THE ONES WE PAY FOR WITH SWEAT.

SPEAKING OF WHICH,

I GOTTA MAKE ANOTHER SWEAT DEPOSIT AT THE BANK OF SUCCESS.

NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE!

[THUD] OW, MY NOSE.

WHAT IS UP WITH YOU GUYS?

DIDN'T YOUR MAMA EVER TEACH YOU THAT CHEATING IS WRONG?

YOU CAN'T USE THAT THING IN COMPETITION!

IT'S NOT FAIR!

I MEAN, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK--

DIDN'T YOUR MAMA EVER TEACH YOU THAT CHEATING IS--

WRONG. SO TRUE.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I'LL NEVER USE THIS THING AGAIN.

UH, UH--

WELL, THAT'S...GOOD?

[WHISTLES]

LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, BUDDY.

LET'S GO LIVE THE EASY LIFE.

ANOTHER POP QUIZ?

I HOPE YOU READ THE CHAPTER THIS TIME.

NAH, BUT I'M FEELIN' LUCKY TODAY.

BOOST INTELLIGENCE.

A-PLUS. HA!

[FOOD SIZZLES]

BLAH!

WOW! UH, THANKS.

HEY, I OWED YOU ONE.

[GOBLINS GROWLING]

ADD SOME ONE-PUNCH KNOCKOUT,

THEN BOOST STRENGTH TO TASTE,

AND SIMMER WITH A PROTECTIVE SHIELD.

SOUP'S ON!

HE'S TOO POWERFUL!

EVERY WARRIOR HAS A WEAKNESS.

AND VICTORY GOES TO HE

WHO WON'T QUIT UNTIL HE FINDS IT.

I LEARNED IT FROM A RON SLAM BOOK.

THAT GUY IS A GENIUS.

ONE MORE PEBBLE IN THE ROCK GARDEN OF SUCCESS.

OW.

JAKEY!

HOW GOOD OF YOU TO SHOW UP.

ARE YOU READY TO PRACTICE?

NAH, IT'S COOL.

I'VE BEEN, UH, PRACTICING ON MY OWN.

SEE?

OH, NUH-UH, PLAYER.

YOU ARE NOT STILL USING THAT CONTROLLER.

SO WHAT IF I AM? YOU THINK IT'S FAIR

THAT BRAD GOT HIS DAD TO HIRE TOMMY KING?

WHOO-HOO! I OWN THIS RAMP!

I REALLY DO. MY DAD BOUGHT IT FOR ME.

WHAT? YOU WANNA BE LIKE BRAD NOW?

GETTING EVERYTHING YOU WANT WITH NO HARD WORK?

[SCOFFS] IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT THE SKATE CONTEST, JAKEY.

IT'S ABOUT GETTING FAT, SLOW, AND LAZY

WHILE YOU LET THAT THING DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU.

BOOST CHARM.

HA HA. DID I TELL YOU HOW KICKIN' THAT NEW TOP IS?

OOH, GIRL, YOU'VE GOT IT GOIN' ON.

HA! YOU-- YOU THINK SO?

I SO APPRECIATE THAT. THANK YOU, JAKEY. AHH.

NO PROB, BABES.

HA! THAT SLOW AND LAZY?

PSSH. I DON'T THINK SO.

Fu Dog: WHOA. AHH...

KID, PUNCH IN THE CHEAT CODE.

I'D DO IT, BUT--[BURPS]

MY EYES ARE GLAZED OVER WITH COCONUT MILK AND LOBSTER GREASE.

OH, I LOVE MY NEW DIET.

NO--[HICCUP]--PROB.

HEY! I'VE GOT IT, MASTER.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

KEEP TRYING, AND YOU'RE BOUND TO FIND A WEAKNESS.

I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S--[HICCUPS]--WEAK.

[PANTS] DRAGON UP!

[PANTING]

[CACKLING]

HEY! OOH! QUIT IT!

WHEN I GET THAT THING BACK, I'M GONNA--

WHAT'S THE MATTER, KID? YOU GOT A MILLION TRICKS UP YOUR SLEEVE.

I'M A LITTLE OUT OF PRACTICE, A'IGHT?

ENOUGH. THERE WILL BE TIME FOR REVENGE LATER.

LEAVE THE PIGGIES TO THEIR FOOD COMA.

[GROANING]

AWW...

[BURPS]

OH, YEAH.

THAT ONE'S BEEN WAITING TO COME OUT.

NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT.

MAN.

[GRANDPA SPEAKING MANDARIN]

DID I NOT TELL YOU THAT MAGICAL OBJECT WAS DANGEROUS?

I KNOW, GRAMPS. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO

GET IT OUT OF THE HANDS OF THOSE MOUNTAIN GOBLINS.

IT WAS NOT THEIR HANDS I WAS REFERRING TO.

HUH? RESISTANCE BUILDS MUSCLE, YOUNG DRAGON.

IF YOU REMOVE EVERY OBSTACLE FROM LIFE,

YOU BECOME WEAK IN BODY AND IN MIND.

YOUR ENEMIES WON BECAUSE THEY WERE WILLING TO DO

WHAT YOU HAVE CHEATED TO AVOID--

TO FAIL AND FAIL AGAIN UNTIL A SOLUTION WAS FOUND.

[GROANING]

SO YOU WANT ME TO FAIL?

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

I WANT YOU TO FAIL SOMETIMES.

FOR IT IS ONLY BY EXPERIENCING FAILURE

THAT WE LEARN TO SUCCEED.

WOW. DEEP.

RON SLAM. I GET A DAILY EMAIL QUOTE.

NOW, TO THE TASK AT HAND.

YOU SAY IT WAS MOUNTAIN GOBLINS WHO TOOK THE CONTROLLER.

ONLY ONE RANGE IN THIS AREA IS NOT ACCOUNTED FOR

BY GIANTS, TROLLS, OR OTHER MOUNTAIN DWELLERS.

IT LIES HERE, IN TALLMAN MOUNTAIN STATE PARK

ON THE HUDSON RIVER.

YOU MUST SCOUR EVERY CAVE AND CREVASSE IN THIS RANGE

UNTIL YOU FIND THE GOBLINS' LAIR.

[GROANING]

[CLATTER]

[BATS SCREECHING]

WHOA! WHOA! AAH!

HUH?

YAAH!

AW, MAN. THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME OTHER WAY TO DO...

WAIT A MINUTE.

MAYBE THERE IS.

EAR OF THE DRAGON.

[HUMMING]

Goblin: THIS HANDWRITING IS TERRIBLE.

BUT WE'VE GOT HALF THE CODES DECIPHERED ALREADY.

Second Goblin: GOOD. KEEP WORKING.

SOON WE SHALL HAVE THE ULTIMATE POWER.

GOTCHA.

[BEEPING]

AND THIS ONE GIVES YOU OLD TEAM FROBAT JERSEYS.

OOH, OOH! DO THEY HAVE THE 1976 GOBLIN TROTTERS?

[BEEPS]

SWEET-- MEADOWLARK DEMON.

I GAVE THE WITCH TRIPLETS A HEADS-UP.

THEY'RE WORKING ON THE DESTRUCTION POTION.

ALL WE GOTTA DO IS GET THEM THE CONTROLLER.

THEN LET'S DO IT. YOU GO LEFT, G. I'LL GO RIGHT.

DRAGONS!

GOODIE!

[BEEPING]

[ROARING]

WHOA! WHOA!

[CHEERING] STAND DOWN, FRIENDS.

I WANT TO SHOW THESE DRAGONS WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO FIGHT AN UNFAIR BATTLE.

THE OLD ONE GOES DOWN FIRST.

AAH!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

HA HA!

UNH!

[GRUNTS] GRAMPS!

DON'T GIVE UP!

EARN IT, JAKE.

[FU DOG GRUNTING]

HERE'S HOPIN' THIS IS ON THE DIET MENU.

AAH!

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

REPLAY.

NOT THIS TIME, FLEA BAG.

WHOA! UNH!

AAH!

[LAUGHING]

YOU CAN'T HIT WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE.

HYAH! HUH?

[GRUNTING]

COME ON, JAKE. THINK!

AHA!

GOTCHA!

[BEEPING]

GO, JAKE! TO THE WITCHES!

I'M ON IT, G.

LEAVE THE OTHERS. AFTER THAT CONTROLLER!

IS IT READY? WE NEED A MINUTE.

NO PROBLEM. I'LL JUST PUNCH IN SOME--

NAH, LET'S EARN THIS OLD-SCHOOL.

COME AND GET IT!

AAH! AAH!

WHAA!

Jake: OLÉ! OLÉ ON THE FLIPSIDE.

NOW, JAKE! IT'S READY!

AND OH-LATER!

[ALL GROANING]

GAME OVER.

FEELING ANY BETTER, BRAVE, STRONG HERO MAN?

MUCH. HEH HEH!

YOU ARE TOO KIND.

HE'S SO POLITE.

AND WRINKLY CUTE!

I CALL FIRST HUG!

[ALL GIGGLING]

HEY, UH, YOU GUYS GOT ANY MAGICAL MEDICINE FOR ME--

SORRY, WE DON'T TALK TO CHEATERS.

Witches: HMMPH!

WELL, AT LEAST TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY.

IT SURE IS!

HEY! I ACTUALLY STUDIED THIS STUFF.

PREPARATION IS...

GO FOR THE 5-ALARM, DUDE.

NAH. I THINK I'LL START MILD

AND WORK MY WAY UP.

HE KNOWS HIS CHILI LIMIT!

HAPPY TUMMY!

[CHEERING]

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY PULLED IT OFF.

HE DESERVED IT. HE KEPT WORKING AT IT.

YEAH, LOOKS LIKE RON SLAM

KNOWS A LITTLE MORE THAN TOMMY KING.

YOU'RE FIRED. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

BUT I NEED THE MONEY FOR MY THIRD BEACH HOUSE!

[CRYING]

I GUESS THERE'S SOMETHING TO THAT OLD "IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED,

TRY, TRY AGAIN" THING, HUH?

USUALLY. MAYBE NOT ALWAYS, THOUGH.

HEY, STACY, CHECK OUT MY TROPHY.

I WON! HA! HEY, WAIT UP.

STACY!

HA HA. KEEP WORKING, SPUD.

KEEP WORKING! HA HA HA HA!

Ron Slam: JUDGES, SHOW US JAKE LONG'S FINAL SCORES.

FOR FIGHTING STYLE, MERMAID GIVES 9.3,

CYCLOPS 9.2, AND MOUNTAIN GOBLIN 0.7!

FOR HUGGING STYLE, MERMAID 8.3, CYCLOPS 7.9,

AND--OH! MOUNTAIN GOBLIN IS REALLY HATING THIS PERFORMANCE.

FOR CHILI-SPIT STYLE-- HA HA HA HA!

WHO CARES ABOUT SCORES? SHOW ME CHILI-SPIT AGAIN!

AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!

LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE CASTLE!