Original subtitles

[SINGING TO RADIO] ¶ AH-HA HA WIKKY-WIKKY WOO WAH ¶

¶ THE GIRLS DA-DOO 'CAUSE I KNEW WITH YOU

I'D KEEP MY WO-WO-WO-MAN ¶

UH, DAD? YOU CAN DROP ME OFF HERE.

REALLY. HERE IS FINE.

A WHOLE BLOCK FROM YOUR SCHOOL? HA!

NOT IN THIS DOWNPOUR. NO SON OF MINE

IS GOING TO END UP A WETTY-NETTY.

[RADIO PLAYING]

I BID YOU ADIEU,

MY LITTLE JAKE-A-ROO!

[ENGINE REVS]

WOW, SOUNDS LIKE THE OLD DAD-TAXI

IS IN NEED OF A TUNE-UP. HA HA.

¶ I'M YOUR WIKKY-WIKKY WOO-HOO ¶

¶ WHOA! MAN ¶

IS THAT JAKE'S DAD?

THAT'S EMBARRASSING.

NA-HA...NOT--NOT REALLY MY DAD.

MY MANSERVANT, HEINRICH. REALLY.

AH, YES. THE OLD PARENTAL DROP-OFF.

AS UNPLEASANT AS IT IS UNAVOIDABLE. MM-HMM.

YOU KNOW, IF I WERE OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE,

IT WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE.

AND FIGHT MAGICAL CREATURES ON A DAILY BASIS.

I THINK I'VE EARNED IT.

TWO MORE YEARS, JAKIE.

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY HAND OUT DRIVER'S LICENSES

TO JUST ANYBODY--

WHOO-HOO! - [SPLASH]

SORRY ABOUT THAT, DOOFUSES.

HA HA, I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU,

BUT YOU HAVE TO BE 16 TO DRIVE.

I AM. THE BRADSTER

WAS HELD BACK TWICE IN THE THIRD GRADE.

NOW I'M 2 YEARS STRONGER, SMARTER,

AND DRIVING-ER THAN YOU LOSERS.

SORRY YOU DON'T HAVE CARS!

BEING HELD BACK ROCKS! WHOO-HOO!

[ENGINE STARTING] LATER, LOSERS!

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

KID, SOME CREATURE'S GOING BERSERK

AT THE MAGICAL FLEA MARKET.

YOU BETTER GET OVER THERE, PRONTO.

OH! AND IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS,

YOU MAY GET A LITTLE WET.

NO KIDDING.

¶ HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ¶

¶ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL ¶

¶ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ REAL LIVE WIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY WELL, WHAT'S UP, G? ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ I'M A DRAGON, I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ IT'S MY DESTINY ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR OF THE N.Y.C. ¶

YA HEARD!

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶ - YOW!

OK, I'M THE PROTECTOR OF THE MAGICAL WORLD,

BUT BRAD'S THE ONE WITH CAR PRIVILEGES?

HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?

JAKE! DON'T JAB THE JUNIOROSITY.

FO' SHO'. BEING 14

HAS GOT ITS PRIVILEGES, TOO.

OH, YEAH?

NOBODY UNDER 17 SEES CARNIVAL OF CARNAGE 3

UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A LEGAL GUARDIAN.

YOU KNOW THE RULES, LITTLE MISTER.

NO SCAMPERING OFF TO HIPPY-HOP HOUSE PARTIES

ON A SCHOOL NIGHT.

[SIRENS AND BELLS]

HUH?!

CONGRATULATIONS!

AS OUR ONE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER,

ON AN ALL-EXPENSE PAID TRIP TO HAWAII!

YOU ARE OVER 18, RIGHT?

RIGHT?

I'M TELLING YOU GUYS, 14 IS ROUTINE.

OLDER IS GOLDER.

BRACE YOURSELF. THIS IS OUR STOP.

All: AAAHHH!

GOTTA SAY, NOT REALLY LOVIN'

THE MAGICAL SUBWAY STOP.

[PANTS RIPPING] - AAHH!

I'M NOT SEEING MUCH IN THE WAY OF BERSERKING CREATURES.

ARE YOU SURE THAT--

NOBODY LOOT ANYTHING WHILE WE'RE GONE.

[CRASH]

KID, TALK TO ME. WHAT'S THIS THING LOOK LIKE?

SOMETHING LIKE THIS. [CLICK]

AN AVIMETRIS? YUH-OH.

YUH-OH? DON'T SAY YUH-OH!

I HATE IT WHEN YOU SAY YUH-OH.

WHATEVER YOU DO, MAKE SURE YOU STAY AWAY FROM THE TENT---

OK. WHY IS FU CONCERNED ABOUT TENTS,

WHEN THERE ARE TENTACLES AFTER US?

YO, AVI. I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME

SOMEONE TAUGHT YOU SOME PHONE MANNERS.

DRAGON UP!

[ROARING]

THAT'S IT, JAKIE. HIT IT WITH YO' BEST--

Both: AAAHHH!

I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST GET YOUR SQUID SLIME

ALL OVER MY JAZZY NEW TOP.

THAT'S IT. IT'S TIME FOR SOME

DEEP-FRIED CALAMARI.

[ROAR] - MMF! MMM!

I THINK HE SAID "MMF! MMM!"

GUYS, I GOT AN IDEA!

GRAB ONTO EACH OTHER!

[ROARING] - AAAHH!

UUHHH--UNH!

YOU KNOW WHAT GOES WITH SEAFOOD?

PRETZELS.

[ROARING]

WHOA! - WHOA!

[ROARING]

AND DON'T COME BACK!

THOSE ARE SOME SERIOUSLY MESSED-UP TENTACLES.

NOW WE KNOW WHAT FU WAS REFERRING TO

WHEN HE WARNED US ABOUT THE TENTS.

EVIL CAMPERS.

WHAT? YOU HAVE A BETTER THEORY?

[YAWNING]

JAKE, YOUR GRANDFATHER'S BEEN CALLING FOR YOU.

UHH. LONG DAY.

TALK TO HIM TOMORROW.

MUST SHOWER.

OOF! - OCCUPIED.

HALEY, COME ON.

I STINK LIKE DRAGON SWEAT.

I'M SORRY, JAKE. BUT WE HAD A VERY FESTIVE

TEA PARTY TODAY, AND ALL OF MY DOLLS HAVE TO GO.

ESPECIALLY PRINCESS FAIRHAIR.

[GIGGLES]

GREAT. ONLY 4 MORE YEARS BEFORE I CAN MOVE OUT

AND NOT HAVE TO SHARE A BATHROOM

WITH MY ANNOYING LITTLE SISTER.

AND HER DOLLS!

[SIGHS]

[ALARM BUZZES]

[YAWN] MAN, HOW LONG TILL CHRISTMAS?

'CAUSE THESE PJs ARE GETTING A LITTLE TIGHT.

[GASP]

WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BROTHER?

HALEY, WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?

JAKE?

HALEY?

HALEY! OK...

I DON'T WANT YOU TO FREAK,

UH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF.

AAH!

YOU'VE GOT TO GET TO GRANDPA'S!

I'VE GOT TO GET TO GRANDPA'S!

WAIT! THE ALARM'S ON.

I'M POURING MILK ON YOUR CEREAL.

COUNTDOWN TO SOGGY CITY STARTS NOW!

DAD! HE CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS.

I'LL DISTRACT HIM WHILE YOU SNEAK OUT.

HOP-TO, HALEY-HOO.

UM, DAD? I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

OH, WHAT ABOUT, PUNKIN?

UM...LADY THINGS.

I--YOU KNOW, I--HA HA.

I DON'T--I--UH, WHOA!

EE! OW!

MORNING, ALL!

WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A SEAT ON THE COUCH,

WHERE, UH, YOU CAN-- [SPUTTERS]

SIP COCOA AND TALK ABOUT YOUR LADY THINGS.

LADY THINGS? WHAT LADY THINGS?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL EVEN LIGHT A NICE, CRACKLING FIRE

SO YOU CAN TALK IN FRONT OF IT

LIKE THEY DO IN THOSE COMMERCIALS.

"OH, JEAN-PIERRE." YOU KNOW, THAT ONE.

NO FIRE. NO FIRE!

WHOA! OW!

WHOA!

AHH!

OH, MAN!

WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD MAN?

SPUD? TRIXIE?

YOU GUYS GOT OLD, TOO?

WAY OLD. HOW OLD?

WHERE'S YOUR HOME TRAINING, BOY?

YOU AIN'T EVER SUPPOSED TO ASK A WOMAN HER AGE.

OH, NO. I'M EVEN ACTING LIKE AN OLD LADY.

AND WHERE'D I GET THIS PURSE FROM?

Together: WE'VE GOT TO GET TO GRANDPA'S!

Grandpa: YUP. THIS WOULD BE WHY I TOLD YOU

TO STAY CLEAR OF THE AVIMETRIS' TENTACLES.

TENTACLES? YOU SAID "TENT". I HEARD "TENT".

DID HE NOT SAY "TENT"?

OK, I DON'T KNOW

DON'T WORRY. HEARING IS THE FIRST TO GO.

I SAID...

[YELLING] AH, YES!

THIS WOULD BE WHY

I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.

BUT YOU GONNA HAVE TO GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE

SHEESH. YOU SURE TURNED INTO A CRABBY OLD LADY.

UH, YEAH. YOU TRY WAKIN' UP IN THE A.M.

WITH YOUR BOOTY 6 INCHES LOWER THAN IT WAS IN THE P.M.,

AND SEE WHAT KINDA MOOD YOU IN.

UH...HM. ALL RIGHT.

HERE'S THE DEAL. THE AVIMETRIS

HAS GOT THE ABILITY TO LIVE FOREVER

SEE, WHEN THE THREE OF YOU WERE IN THE AVIMETRIS' TENTACLES,

IT MUST'VE JUST, YOU KNOW-- All: [GASP]

SUCTIONED THE YOUTH RIGHT OUT OF YOU.

AH. MY SKIN'S ALL LOOSE.

HEY, MAYBE I CAN USE THESE WRINKLES FOR BODY POCKETS.

YO, WAIT--WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE. NUH-UH-UH, UH-UH!

YOU! NO SNACK MIX IN YOUR OLD MAN FOLDS.

YOU'LL GET ANTS. AND THAT'S JUST NASTY.

AND YOU! HOW COME YOU A STRAPPING

21-YEAR-OLD, AND ME AND SPUD

PROBABLY 'CAUSE IT DIDN'T HANG ON TO ME AS LONG AS YOU GUYS.

[DOOR OPENS] OH, SORRY I'M LATE.

THE LINE AT LING-CHO'S GROCER WAS--AIIEE-YAH!

DIDN'T FU WARN YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THE TENTACLES?

HE SAID "TENT".

SPUD, GET OVER IT.

FU, HOW DO WE CHANGE BACK?

"IN ORDER FOR THE AGE OF ITS VICTIMS TO BE RESTORED,

"THE AVIMETRIS MUST BE VANQUISHED."

THAT THING ATTACKED LAST NIGHT.

WHERE ARE WE GONNA STAY UNTIL YOU FIND IT?

AND DON'T SAY HERE, BECAUSE THIS PLACE

SMELLS LIKE OLD PEOPLE.

[SNIFFS] OH, WAIT. THAT'S ME.

AND I THINK I KNOW JUST THE PLACE YOU CAN GO.

LEROY? LEROY, IS THAT YOU?

I THOUGHT I LOST YOU IN THE TRENCHES

DURING THE GNOME-OGRE WAR OF '52.

UM, SURE. WHY NOT?

AWW. HE SEEMS LIKE A FRIENDLY OLD GUY.

I'LL PLAY YOU FOR YOUR HEARING AID BATTERIES.

UM, DUDE. THOSE ARE MY EARDRUMS.

BUT...OK.

GRAMPS PUT US IN A MAGICAL OLD FOLKS HOME.

I DON'T SUPPOSE ANY OF Y'ALL PLAY

"SHAKE YOUR BOOTY REVOLUTION"?

IS THAT LIKE CANASTA?

'CAUSE I PLAY A MEAN CANA-- [SNORES]

[SNORE]

LET HER DROOL. HER TAIL NEEDS THE MOISTURE.

HOW 'BOUT YOU DON'T TELL ME

HOW TO RUN THIS PLACE,

AND I DON'T HOCK ONE

IN YOUR FRIEND'S FRUIT CUPS TONIGHT.

TRIXIE CARTER AND ARTHUR SPUDINSKY?

LAO CHI CALLED AHEAD.

YOUR ROOMS ARE READY.

LIGHTS OUT IS AT 6:45 P.M.

DINNER IS AT 4:30.

AND VISITING HOURS ENDED 5 MINUTES AGO.

OH. YEAH, UM...

YOU JUST HURRY AND FIND THAT MONSTER. OK, JAKIE?

I'M OVER HERE. AND DON'T WORRY.

I'M 21 YEARS OLD NOW, REMEMBER?

I CAN TOTALLY HANDLE THINGS.

AND NEXT TIME YOU VISIT YOUR FRIENDS,

DON'T PARK IN THE FIRE LANE.

TCCH! THAT'S NOT MY CAR.

I MEAN, DO I LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE?

I'M OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE!

MMWAH! YEAH!

READ 'EM AND WEEP. FULL HOUSE.

NOW HAND OVER THOSE HEARING AIDS.

BUT I'M NOT WEARING ANY.

DOUBLE OR NOTHING. AAH, DOUBLE OR NOTHING!

DON'T WORRY, GRAMPS. I'M HOT ON THE TRAIL OF THE AVIMETRIS.

UH, YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON USING

YOUR VAN TODAY, RIGHT?

NO REASON.

HA. GRANDPAS. ALWAYS WORRYING,

SO, WHAT SAY WE GET BACK TO THE OLD DRIVING TEST?

UH--UH, THE CURB!

MAILBOX! - [BRAKES SQUEALING]

SORRY! STILL LEARNING!

RED LIGHT!

[BRAKES SQUEALING] [CRASH]

I'LL JUST GO THIS WAY.

ONE WAY STREET! ONE WAY STREET!

WELL, NOT ANYMORE.

[HONKING]

TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER.

[HONKING] - PERFECT FIT!

SO. HOW'D I DO?

YOUNG MAN, THAT WAS THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE,

PATHETIC SHOW OF DRIVING I HAVE EVER WITNESSED!

YOU WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER BLINDFOLDED,

STEERING WITH YOUR FEET!

OK. I'LL TRY THAT WHEN I TAKE THE TEST

WITH YOU AGAIN TOMORROW.

AND THE DAY AFTER THAT,

AND THE DAY AFTER THAT...

HERE'S YOUR LICENSE, KID.

NOW REMEMBER OUR DEAL.

STAY OUT OF MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

HA!

[SPEAKING IN RHYTHM] DOUBLE DUTCH, DUTCH IS DOUBLE.

IF YOU TRIP THEN YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

HA HA! BEAT YOU AGAIN, LEROY!

AT YOUR OWN GAME, NO LESS.

MAN, HOW CAN LEGS SO STUBBY BE SO LIMBER?

YEAH, YEAH. HAND OVER YOUR HEARING AIDS

AND YOUR DENTURES. COME ON, GIVE IT!

BUT THESE ARE MY REAL TEETH,

I SWEAR! AAGH!

TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF MY MOUTH, OLD MAN!

HELP!

[DOOR OPENS] WHAT'S UP, PARTY SENIORS?

DID YOU FIND THE AVIMETRIS, BABY?

UM, NOT YET. BUT, I BROUGHT YOU SOME PRESENTS

TO HELP YOU PASS THE TIME. HA! CHECK IT.

PRUNE JUICE, DENTURE CREAM,

WHOOPSY-DAISY OVERNIGHT BRIEFS.

UH...NO MORE. OH, NO MORE.

HEY, I KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.

MY SWEET NEW RIDE.

YOU GET LITTLE PLASTIC FRIENDS CALLED CREDIT CARDS.

THIS BABY ONLY TOOK 4. WANT TO GO FOR A SPIN?

UH, YOU DO KNOW CREDIT CARDS IS JUST LOANS, RIGHT?

YOU GOT TO PAY THEM PEOPLE BACK.

HA. I'D BETTER GET MORE CREDIT CARDS.

JAKE! ARE YOU EVEN HUNTING FOR THAT AVIMETRIS?

'CAUSE I AIN'T GETTING NO YOUNGER.

AND SPUD, WELL...

AAAHHH! GET HIM--

I WANT THOSE TEETH!

HEY. IT'S OLDER, MORE MATURE JAKE

YOU'RE TALKING TO. I'M ON THIS THING 24/7.

ONE FOR CARNIVAL OF CARNAGE 3.

THAT'S RIGHT. JUST ONE.

NO SISTER, NO PARENTS. NO RULES.

'CAUSE THIS EAGLE IS LEGAL.

WELCOME TO YOUR SUITE, SIR.

AS REQUESTED, A 6 FOOT TRAMPOLINE,

2 SHAKE YOUR BOOTY PARTY MACHINES,

AND ENOUGH PUDDING TO FILL THE BATHTUB.

ACTUALLY, YOU CAN CANCEL THE TRAMPOLINE.

THESE SOFAS GOT BOUNCE!

BUT IF I CAN'T HOP THE CURB,

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THIS BABY UP ON 2 WHEELS?

AND YOU CAN EVEN PAY TRAFFIC TICKETS WITH A CREDIT CARD.

THERE'S NOTHING BAD ABOUT BEING 21.

I MISSED 21 AND SKIPPED STRAIGHT TO 81!

LOOK, GRAMPS AND FU

ARE CLOSE TO FINDING THIS THING.

THIS HAS BEEN A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME.

IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER

WANTED TO DO, I'M DOIN'.

EXACTLY.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO.

WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR US?

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

BEFORE WE ALL TURN BACK TO NORMAL,

LET'S THROW THE BIGGEST PARTY, EVER!

TONIGHT. AT MY NEW PAD.

WELL, I GUESS A PARTY SOUNDS GOOD.

I LOVE SODA, I LOVE PIZZA,

LOVE SHAKIN', SHAKIN' WHAT THE GOOD LORD MAKE IT.

SPUD, OH, I THINK I'M STUCK.

SPUD!

STAY BACK.

I BEAT YOU AT SHUFFLEBOARD.

NOW HAND OVER YOUR TOUPEE!

I TOLD YOU. THIS IS MY REAL HAIR.

MY REAL HAIR!

AAH!

YAAH!

OW! YAH!

AND IF YOU STRIKE ME DOWN,

I ONLY BECOME STRONGER.

WEEYA!

OK. YOU GUYS WORK OUT YOUR ISSUES

AND I'LL SEE YA TONIGHT.

REMEMBER, KEEP THE SODAS FLOWING,

AND NOBODY'S SUNDAES ARE ALLOWED

TO BE HALF EMPTY.

AH, NOTHING THAT CAN'T WAIT TILL TOMORROW. RIGHT?

[ROARING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS] WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING?

SORRY YOU CAN'T REACH ME

BUT PLEASE DON'T BREACH ME.

BE BRIEF AFTER THE BEEP. [BEEP]

HE MUST BE SCREENIN' HIS CALLS.

WHAT, HE TURNS 21 AND SUDDENLY

HE'S TOO GOOD TO ANSWER HIS--AAH!

WHOA!

I CANNOT FIGHT THIS THING ALONE!

AAH! YAA!

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

YOU GUYS MADE IT.

AWESOME!

SNACK MIX?

[RETCHES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

YO, WELCOME TO MY TOTALLY FUN

...DRAISER FOR THE POLICEMAN'S BALL.

THE NEIGHBORS ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE NOISE.

YOU DON'T CLEAR EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE IMMEDIATELY

I'M CITING YOU FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT.

DISORDERLY WHAT, NOW?

YO, I'M JUST A KID.

EH HE HE. NICE TRY.

OR I'M TAKING YOU DOWN TO THE STATION.

WHAT?! [MUSIC STOPS] WHAT THE--

YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME, LEROY!

YAAH!

AAH! ALL RIGHT. THAT IS IT.

YOU'RE COMIN' WITH ME!

NO, WAIT. I--

AAH!

UHH. [EXHALES]

TRIXIE TRIED TO SHAKY, SHAKY.

BUT I THINK SHE BREAKY, BREAKY.

AAH!

YOU CAN'T HIDE LEROY FROM ME!

UH, JAKE!

SAVE ME?

JAKEY,

TURN ME BACK, BOY.

I CAN'T FEEL MY ANYTHING!

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT

OK. EVERYBODY, CHILL. I'LL FIX THINGS.

I'LL JUST--I, UH,

[GROANS]

MAN, I'M STARTIN' TO THINK THIS GROWIN' UP STUFF

AIN'T ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.

YOU KNOW, I WANTED TO BE A SITCOM ACTOR,

I'M STUCK AS A STINKIN' MESSENGER FAIRY!

OH, YEAH. YOU HAVE A MESSAGE.

FU DOG SAYS...

KID, GET TO GRANDPA'S SHOP, PRONTO.

A-GU GU-GU. GU. GU.

KID,

IT'S TERRIBLE.

I WAS HIT BY THE AVIMETRIS

OVER IN THE WAREHOUSE DISTRICT.

YOU WERE?

ALL THE EXTRA WRINKLES WITH THE THING?

AHH, THAT'S NOT THE WORST OF IT.

COME HERE.

GRAMPS!

JAKE, I DON'T THINK HE HAD MUCH USE LEFT TO SPARE.

GRAMPS, I'M SO SORRY.

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

DO NOT BURDEN YOURSELF

WITH BLAME, YOUNG ONE.

THE HANDS OF FATE OFTEN--

OH, WHAT AM I SAYING?

YES, IT'S YOUR FAULT.

JAKE, YOU MUST FIND AND DEFEAT THE AVIMETRIS.

THE OLD MAN'S ON A BULLET TRAIN

TO BYE-BYE VILLE.

ANOTHER SCONE FOR YOU, PRINCESS FARIA?

PSST.

HALEY, I NEED YOUR HELP!

I AM NOT FLOSSING YOUR BACK SCALES, AGAIN.

WAIT. WHY ARE YOU STILL BIG?

LISTEN, I NEED YOU TO HELP ME CATCH SOMETHING.

I NEED YOUR YOUTH.

I'M SO YOUNG

AND SO DEFENSELESS.

I WONDER WHAT'S AROUND THIS DARK CORNER.

JAKE, IF THE AVIMETRIS WERE ANYWHERE AROUND HERE,

IT WOULD HAVE COME AFTER MY BRIGHT-EYED, FRESH FACED,

KEWPIE DOLL CUTENESS HOURS AGO.

'CAUSE GRAMPS IS RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

AND UNLESS WE DESTROY THE AVIMETRIS,

WE'RE-- [GROWLING]

[GROWLS]

BACKIN' UP.

WELL, LOOK WHO SLITHERED IN.

YOU TOOK SOMETHING FROM THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.

AND GUESS WHAT?

I'M TAKIN' IT BACK.

[GROANING]

AAH! [GROANS]

[GROWLS]

AAH!

WHOA!

HALEY!

[GASPS]

UHH!

[AVIMETRIS SQUISHING]

NOW, I'M MAD, YOU BIG SQUIDIOT.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOMEONE SUCTIONED

THE YOUTH OUT OF YOU?

SUCTION THE YOUTH OUT OF YOU.

THAT'S IT!

HALEY, FOLLOW MY LEAD.

READY TO PLAY?

Jake: LET'S SEE HOW HE LIKES

SUCKING SOME OF HIS OWN YOUTH.

AH, CHECK IT!

HE CAN'T HANDLE IT.

WOW, THAT WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF FUN!

EXCEPT FOR THE GUTS PART.

IT'S NEVER FELT SO GOOD TO BE A KID.

NOW, BEFORE I RELIEVE YOU OF

YOUR TEETH, YOUR HEARING, AND YOUR HAIR--

ANY LAST WORDS?

YEAH.

HOPE YOU'RE THIRSTY.

HA HA HA HA.

YEAH, BABY! WE ARE BACK.

FU DOG!

THERE'S A VICIOUS CREATURE ON THE LOOSE

AND YOU'RE HERE PLAYING NURSE MAID?

GOOD JOB, KID. GOOD JOB.

HEY, GUYS! WAIT UP!

JAKE, DUDE.

YOU LOOK WORSE THAN WE DID

WHEN WE WERE 80.

I TOOK A NIGHT JOB STOCKING SHELVES

TO PAY OFF MY CREDIT CARDS.

LOOK WHO'S FINALLY SOUNDING LIKE AN ADULT.

YEAH. THE WHOLE LOOKING 21 THING CAME EASY.

BUT THE BEING MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT PART?

NOT SO MUCH.

SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A JERK.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

UH, NO WORRIES.

COMING THROUGH!

BUT SPEAKING OF JERKS...

AND IMMATURITY!

WHOO-HOO! CHECK ME OUT!

BEING OLD ROCKS!

ROCKS! WHOO-HOO!

[CRASH]

Brad: OH, MAN...

KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

BEING 14 ROCKS JUST FINE.

[BRAD GROANS]

Jake: COOL. LET'S CHECK OUT...BRAD.

HA! HA HA!

WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE NASTY HAIR

GROWING OUT OF HIS EARS.

YOU SHOULDN'T TAUNT THE HOLOGRAMS.

HE SHOULD AT LEAST BRAID IT OR SOMETHING.

I'M TELLING YA, JAKE, DON'T--

FU, HAND ME THE PHONE SO I CAN CALL

THE UGLY POLICE ON HIS SORRY--

UHH!