Original subtitles

COCK-A-DOODLE DOO, JAKE-A-ROO.

AAH! UH!

WOW, WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT

A PAPER DRAGON COULD MAKE JAKE

SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL?

OK, ME. BUT WHO ELSE?

LET'S SEE HANDS.

Grandpa: GUNG HAY FAT CHOY, EVERYONE.

All: GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

GUNG--WHO, WHAT, WHERE?

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.

I SAY IT TO YOU EVERY YEAR,

BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN.

BUT I BET YOU LISTEN TO THESE.

HAH! OH, YEAH, 'CAUSE MONEY TALKS.

WHAT'S THAT LITTLE RED ENVELOPE OF CHEDDAR?

ANDREW JACKSON'S INSIDE,

AND HE BROUGHT HIS TWIN BROTHER.

THANK YOU, GRANDPA!

I'M NOT GREEDY, LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

'CAUSE MONEY'S THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL,

AND--

I WAS HOPING FOR A LITTLE MORE EVIL THAN THIS.

I'M SORRY IT'S NOT AS MUCH AS LAST YEAR.

BUSINESS HAS BEEN SLOW SINCE CHUCK BOOMGARDEN

OPENED HIS NEW ELECTRONICS SUPERSTORE

RIGHT NEXT TO MY OWN.

BOOMGARDEN!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DAD.

THE KIDS UNDERSTAND

THAT THE RED ENVELOPES

ARE NOT ABOUT THE MONEY.

Mother: THEY'RE AN ANCIENT TRADITION

TO WISH YOU HAPPINESS AND LUCK.

G-PA'S RED ENVELOPES ARE ALWAYS FUNTASTIC,

BUT, HEY, DON'T FORGET DEAR OLD DAD'S GIFT

TO HIS CHINESE CLAN, HUH?

[GROWLING]

HA HA HA!

WHAT, DAD'S GIFT IS TO WRECK MY ROOM?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

HE SIGNED YOU ALL UP TO PERFORM

THE DRAGON DANCE

IN THE CHINATOWN PARADE THIS AFTERNOON.

I TOLD YOU THIS LAST WEEK!

THE DRAGON DANCE WARDS OFF

ALL EVIL SPIRITS.

SO IT WOULD BE A GREAT HONOR FOR YOU AND--

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]

NAH, I'M PRETTY SURE

YOU DIDN'T MENTION IT.

¶ HE'S COOL, HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ¶

¶ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL, BURNING DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ A REAL LIVEWIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HIS SKILLS ARE GETTING FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY WALKS UP STREETS ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M A DRAGON, I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ IT'S MY DESTINY ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR FROM THE NYC ¶

¶ YOU HEARD? ¶ ¶ HEY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ YOW ¶

STAND STILL, HALEY.

I HAVE TO SEE HOW THESE SCALES GO.

I'M TRYING TO, BUT EITHER I'M

TOO EXCITED ABOUT THE PARADE,

OR I DRANK WAY TOO MUCH JUICE THIS MORNING.

Dad: YOU KNOW, FAMILIA, I HATE TO TOOT MY OWN HORN--

DRAGON DOWN!

BUT--HONK HONK!

I HAVE OUTDONE MYSELF

ON THIS LITTLE DAZZLE OF A DRAGON.

YEP. I PUT ALL...

OF MY CHINESE KNOW-HOW INTO THIS ONE.

DAD DOES KNOW HE'S NOT CHINESE, RIGHT?

OF COURSE HE DOES, HONEY.

Dad: JAKE-A-ROO!

WE'VE GOT REHEARSING TO DO.

RIGHT AFTER BREAKFAST, DAD.

OH, MAN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY DAD WANTS ME TO

PRANCE AROUND CHINATOWN LIKE A FOOL.

HEY, FU, HOW ABOUT YOU AND I SPEND THE DAY

DOWN AT THE PARK BAGGING ON DOGS AND SWEATERS?

FORGET IT, KID. FAKE QUALITY TIME

AIN'T GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THIS ONE.

EVEN GRAMPS THINKS IT'S A GOOD IDEA

FOR YOU TO BE IN THE PARADE.

HE WANTS YOU TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR CHINESE HERITAGE.

WHAT?!

COULD I BE ANY MORE IN TOUCH WITH MY HERITAGE?

I ALWAYS GET SWEET AND SOUR DIPPING SAUCE,

AND WATCH ME WORK SOME MAGIC

WITH THESE CHOPSTICKS.

YAH!

I'M NOT FETCHING THAT.

POINT IS, I GOT CHINESE CULTURE

COMING OUT OF MY EARS.

GOOD TO HEAR, YOUNG ONE.

THEN SURELY YOU KNOW WHY

I'M CLOSING THE SHOP TODAY.

PSSH, OF COURSE I DO.

UH... YOU KNOW...

PARADING AND MAKING FIREWORKS--PSHAW!

AND... THINGS.

PARADES AND FIREWORKS ARE FUN, BUT THERE ARE

OTHER TRADITIONS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME--LIKE

VISITING FRIENDS, BURNING INCENSE TO HONOR ANCESTORS,

AND PREPARING A TRADITIONAL NEW YEAR'S MEAL.

OK, SO MAYBE I'M NOT AS UP ON

THE CHINESE STUFF AS I COULD BE,

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL EVER NEED IT.

I'M THE AMERICAN DRAGON.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

YES, YOU'VE GROWN UP IN AMERICA, JAKE,

BUT YOUR ROOTS ARE IN CHINA.

IF YOU FORGET WHERE YOU ARE FROM,

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING.

ENJOY YOUR DRAGON DANCE!

GRAMPS, WAIT!

WHAT IF I KEEP THE SHOP OPEN FOR YOU TODAY?

THINK ABOUT IT.

I CAN SOAK UP CHINESE CULTURE ANYTIME.

BUT CAN YOU REALLY AFFORD TO GIVE UP

A WHOLE DAY OF BUSINESS TO BOOMGARDEN?

BOOMGARDEN!

YOUNG DRAGON,

YOU ARE MORE TRANSPARENT THAN

FU DOG VISITING A SICK FRIEND

IN ATLANTIC CITY.

BUT PERHAPS HAVING YOU WATCH THE SHOP TODAY

IS A GOOD IDEA.

HEY, GRAMPS!

I BROUGHT MY ASSISTANT MANAGERS.

UH, NO.

YOU BROUGHT 2 FRIENDS YOU BRIBED

WITH BIG CHUNK FREEZY SLURPS.

[SLURPING]

GAH!

TOO COLD!

UH, BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD!

YOU'RE SURE YOU'LL BE OK BY YOURSELVES?

PSSH, BETTER THAN OK.

LOOK, I EVEN BOUGHT SNAZZY NEW UNIFORMS.

HOLD UP, DAWG.

THESE ARE NURSE'S UNIFORMS.

HEY, CHECK OUT THE ORTHOPEDIC CLOGS.

LIGHTWEIGHT, YET STURDY.

AND WITH TODAY'S RUBBER SOLE TECHNOLOGY,

THEY'RE WHISPER QUIET!

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

DON'T WORRY, GRAMPS. NO CLOGS.

AND IF I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS,

I'LL GIVE FU A SHOUT.

NO, YOU WON'T.

'CAUSE I'M A LITTLE BEHIND ON

MY OWN CHINESE NEW YEAR TRADITIONS.

GOT A FEW OF LAST YEAR'S DEBTS LEFT TO SETTLE.

I JUST HOPE BIG ERNIE WILL TAKE A SALAD SPINNER

FOR THE 5 LARGE I'M INTO HIM FOR.

5 LARGE!

WELL, YOUNG DRAGON.

I SHOULD GET MY NEW YEAR'S TRADITIONS

STARTED AS WELL.

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

YEAH, GRAMPS. GUNG HAY CHOW--YUK.

HUH? YOU JUST WISHED ME STIR FRIED MEAT.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

THE OLD MAN HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

NOW LET'S KICK IT.

MY FAVORITE STORY, "ALL MY SHORTIES."

NOT TODAY, TRIX. DON'T YOU GET IT?

THIS IS MY BIG CHANCE!

UH, FOR WHAT?

IF I DO A GOOD JOB RUNNING THE SHOP,

GRAMPS WILL LET ME DO IT AGAIN.

AND BY AGAIN, I MEAN ANYTIME

I'VE GOT STUFF I DON'T WANT TO DO.

LIKE THAT CHINESE PARADE TODAY.

BUT CHINESE STUFF IS SO COOL!

YOU GOT THE FOOD, THE HISTORY,

NOT TO MENTION THE MANY VARIETIES

OF EXOTIC MARTIAL ARTS.

I CALL MINE SPUNG FU.

AI-I-YAH!

WEE-YOW!

WHOA! ORTHOPEDIC CLOGS--

HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME?!

AAH!

[CRASH]

SPUD! CAREFUL, MAN!

YOU'RE MAKING A MESS!

MESS? HOW CAN YOU TELL

WITH ALL OF GRAMPS' CLUTTERED JUNK AROUND HERE?

DUDE'S GOT A CHAIR WITH 3 1/2 LEGS,

A CLOCK WITH 1 HAND, AND A UM WITH NO BRELLA.

YO, TRIX! THAT'S IT.

IF WE CLEAN THE PLACE UP,

IT'LL SHOW GRAMPS I'M RESPONSIBLE

ENOUGH TO WATCH THE SHOP WHENEVER HE NEEDS IT.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY,

WHENEVER I NEED IT.

[COUGHING]

Jake: THERE YOU GO.

IT'S ALL YOURS.

WHOOPEDY-DOO.

JUNK EVEN JUNK WOULD CALL JUNK.

NEXT TIME,

JUST DUMP IT IN THE HUDSON LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

BUT IF WE DUMP IT, YOU DON'T MAKE ANY MONEY.

WHAT? I--

[SIGHS]

I SHOULD'VE NEVER QUIT SCHOOL.

¶ DO-DO-DO DO-DO-DO DEE DO ¶

AH--D--IT--

WHA--WHAA--

HEY, FU. SO WHAT YOU THINK?

JAKEY AND THE CREW

MADE IT REAL JAZZY UP IN HERE, HUH?

THERE'S NOTHING--

[STAMMERING]

YEAH! I THINK

GRANDPA'S GONNA BE SPEECHLESS, TOO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE MIGHT EVEN GIVE ME THE KEYS TO THE PLACE.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

YOU CAN'T CLEAN ON CHINESE NEW YEAR!

WHY NOT? IT'S AGAINST TRADITION!

YOU'RE NOT JUST SWEEPING OUT THE TRASH,

YOU'RE SWEEPING OUT ALL THE GOOD LUCK,

LEAVING ONLY BAD LUCK--

AND BAD LUCK IN A MAGICAL SHOP

IS THE WORST KIND OF BAD LUCK THERE IS! OH, HO, HO!

YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE

THOSE CHINESE SUPERSTITIONS, DO YOU?

KID, THEY'RE NOT JUST SUPERSTITIONS,

THEY'RE 4,000 YEARS OF CULTURE!

JUST BECAUSE IT'S OLD DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE.

A MESSAGE FROM BIG ERNIE TO FU DOG.

"THANKS FOR THE SALAD SPINNER.

MY ARUGULA HAS NEVER BEEN CRISPER."

WHOA!

Fu: OH, NO, THERE GOES THE MOUSETRAP

WITH THE TOASTER--

OOH, AND THE CEILING FAN!

[GASPS]

NOT THE OLD MAN'S PRICELESS MING VASE!

[SIGHS]

WOW, OF ALL THE LUCK.

[GASP]

[DRUM MUSIC CONTINUES]

OK, UH, ONE MORE TIME.

HALEY DOESN'T QUITE HAVE IT.

OK, UM, SWEETIE BUNCHES,

JUST TRY TO IMAGINE

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A DRAGON.

I'LL TRY.

HONEY, DON'T YOU THINK

WE'VE PRACTICED THIS ENOUGH?

AS CONFUCIUS SAID,

HE THAT WOULD PERFECT HIS WORK

MUST FIRST SHARPEN HIS TOOLS.

BESIDES, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP

HALEY-HOO DIG DEEP

INTO HER CHINESE SOUL LIKE ME.

LIKE YOU?

OK, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

WE CAN TALK, BUT, UH--

I JUST THINK OUR LITTLE GIRL

COULD BE A BIT MORE DRAGONY.

ALL RIGHT, THAT IS IT!

I AM--

[MUFFLED TALKING]

I THINK I GOT IT!

OK, TURN IT OFF SLOW--

--LY.

OOH, THAT WAS CLOSE.

NOTHING WORSE THAN SOGGY KIBBLE.

I DON'T KNOW, JAKEY.

I'M STARTING TO THINK

CLEANING OUT THE CLUTTER MIGHT'VE

OPENED THE DOOR TO A WHOLE MESS OF TROUBLE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE OLD PLUMBING IN THIS PLACE

HAS ALWAYS BEEN MESSED UP.

IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE.

YEAH, A VASE THAT LASTED 600 YEARS

SUDDENLY BREAKS,

A DRAIN THAT GUSHES LIKE OLD FAITHFUL,

AND THAT CRICKET ON THE WINDOWSILL?

[CHIRPS]

COINCIDENCE? HAH, I DON'T THINK SO.

WHAT? NOW YOU'RE BUGGIN'

OVER A HARMLESS BUG?

YEAH, I THOUGHT A CRICKET MEANT GOOD LUCK.

YES, A CRICKET MEANS GOOD LUCK,

BUT ONE CRICKET!

All: CRICKETS!

THEY'RE IN MY HAIR!

THEY'RE IN MY MOUTH!

AAH, THEY'RE UP MY SHORTS!

[YELLING]

DRAGON, UP!

Trixie: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, JAKEY!

WE GONNA HAVE OURSELVES A CRICKET ROAST!

OK...MAYBE WE

SHOULDN'T HAVE CLEANED OUT

THE PLACE ON CHINESE NEW YEAR'S.

AND YOU WOULD'VE KNOWN THAT

IF YOU'D LISTENED WHEN

THE OLD MAN MENTIONED IT

ABOUT A GAZILLION TIMES!

JUST TELL ME HOW TO FIX THIS, FU!

IF IT WAS ME? I DON'T KNOW,

I'D TRY TO RETRIEVE ALL THE STUFF

YOU THREW OUT. REVERSE THE CURSE.

OK! THEN LET'S GET ON IT!

HOLD UP, KID.

SOMEBODY'S GOTTA STAY HERE AND COVER

IN CASE THE OLD MAN SWINGS BY.

GOT YOU, JAKEY BABY.

SPUD AND I GOT IT COVERED HERE.

YOU THINK TRIXIE AND SPUD

CAN HANDLE THE BAD LUCK?

Fu: EH, I FIGURE WE'VE SEEN THE WORST OF IT.

[RUMBLING]

Trixie: AAH! MAGICAL EARTHQUAKE! AAH!

Jake: WHERE'S THE REST OF IT?

YOU KIDS TAUGHT ME

A VALUABLE LESSON

IN JUNKMAN ECONOMICS.

SO I SOLD MOST OF YOUR STUFF

ELSEWHERE FOR CASH MONEY PROFIT.

BUT I GOTTA GET THAT STUFF BACK.

WELL, HERE'S MY BUYERS.

CHECK WITH THEM FIRST.

THEN TRY THE DUMPSTER ON THIRD.

SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD.

ALL THIS IS IN CHINATOWN.

GOOD, 'CAUSE WE ONLY GOT A COUPLE HOURS

BEFORE THE OLD MAN GETS BACK.

I JUST HOPE TRIXIE AND POTATO BOY

ARE KEEPING THE SHOP TOGETHER.

[SCREAMING]

EXCUSE ME!

BUT--ACTUALLY THAT RADIO

BELONGS TO MY GRANDPA.

CAN I--JUST--

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

UH, FU?

YOU WANNA JUMP IN HERE?

MM, FINE.

BEHOLD:

THE INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE

OF CUTE PUPPY DOG WHIMPERING.

[WHIMPERS]

WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS?

AH, BAH, DAH.

Spud: WELL, AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE AND THE VORTEX,

RAIN SEEMS ACTUALLY REFRESHING.

[THUNDER]

Jake: "DANCE THE HONG KONG HUSTLE."

MAN, I'M GLAD I WASN'T BORN

WHEN GRAMPS WAS SHAKING HIS BOOTY.

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S AN OFFERING.

AN OFFERING, HUH?

NOW THAT'S CUSTOMER SERVICE.

AAH!

AN OFFERING FOR HIS ANCESTORS!

YOU DISHONOR MY FAMILY!

SORRY. RUN!

HELLO, BRAINSTORM!

HAH! HAH!

FAMILIA, GET READY FOR

THE AHH'S AND APPLAUSE

OF A LOUD CROWD.

WHEN I HIT THIS BUTTON,

YOU WILL WITNESS 50,000 BTUs OF

PROPANE POWERED DRAGON BREATH.

MAYBE WE SHOULD DIAL THE 9 AND THE 1 NOW,

JUST TO GET A HEAD START.

THIS IS GONNA MAKE

MY CHINESE ANCESTORS SO PROUD.

HONEY, THERE'S REALLY

NO WAY TO PUT THIS GENTLY.

YOU'RE NOT CHINESE!

OOH, WHOOPSY DAISY, I BEG TO DIFFER

THERE WITH YOU, HONEY-HOO.

AS YOU MAY RECALL, UH, ONE OF MY MANY

ENDEARING QUALITIES IS THAT I AM

1/16th NAVAJO.

AND WE ALL KNOW THAT THE ANCESTORS OF

NATIVE AMERICANS ARRIVED HERE VIA

THE BERING STRAIT FROM WHERE?

ASIA!

AND WHAT'S IN ASIA?

CHINA!

WHOO!

SORRY FOR CRACKLING YOUR CORN, MA'AM!

JUST EAT TOWARDS THE LIGHT!

SPUD! ANOTHER SLIME HOLE BY YOUR HEAD!

UH--I'M OUT OF PLUGS!

OH, NO, WAIT!

I GOT IT!

AHH.

IT'S WORKING!

OUTSTANDING.

JAKE'S BEHIND ME WITH THE LAST OF THE JUNK.

YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS LIMEY, BUT IT'S

ACTUALLY MORE OF A CURRY FLAVOR.

[PANTING]

Grandpa: JAKE?

HEY, GRAMPS! WH--WHAT'S UP?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY MAGAZINES?

YEAH--WH--WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WITH HIS MAGAZINES?

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT CLEANING.

[LAUGHING]

OF COURSE NOT!

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT CLEANING IS

A MEGA NO-NO ON CHINESE NEW YEAR?

VERY GOOD.

SOMEONE HAS BEEN LISTENING TO

THE TRADITIONS OF OUR CULTURE.

HEY, I'M ALL ABOUT

TRADITIONS AND CULTURE.

AND--WHATNOT.

GOOD, THEN I WON'T

HAVE TO REMIND YOU ABOUT THE VAULT.

THE VAULT?

I KNOW ABOUT THE VAULT.

I COULD TEACH CLASSES

ON THE VAULT. NOW, YOU GO DO

YOUR CHINESE NEW YEAR THINGIES,

AND DON'T WORRY YOUR

LITTLE GRAY HEAD ABOUT THE VAULT.

BUH-BYE, NOW!

GO AS FAR AS 10 BUCKS'LL TAKE HIM.

AW, MAN!

JUST KEEP WALKING, GRANDPA!

EVERYTHING'S COOL!

YOU DON'T REMEMBER HIM TELLING YOU

ABOUT THE VAULT, DO YOU?

OF COURSE I DO.

THAT IS THE VAULT OF DEMONS,

WHICH WE MUST NEVER OPEN

ON CHINESE NEW YEAR,

OR--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

THEN AGAIN,

I MIGHT'VE MISSED A COUPLE OF DETAILS.

OH, NO! YOU GENIUSES PROBABLY

THREW THE VAULT OUT, TOO!

AAH!

OH, PHEW.

STILL THERE.

YOU WORRIED ABOUT A RUSTY OLD BOX?

THAT RUSTY OLD BOX

DOESN'T HOLD YOUR RUN OF THE MILL DEMONS.

IT HOLDS DEMONS SO GNARLY

THEY COULDN'T BE DESTROYED,

ONLY IMPRISONED.

OK, THEN.

WE'LL JUST LEAVE THE THING ALONE.

HELLO, EVERYONE.

I'VE BEEN DELIVERING MESSAGES ALL DAY.

YOU MIND IF I TAKE A BREAK OVER HERE ON THE--

NO, DON'T!

WHOA!

UH!

GAH!

OH, YEAH.

WHO'S GOT HIS LUCK BACK ON? UH-HUH.

PHEW. PHEW.

HUH?

[GASPING]

[ROARS]

[SCREECHES]

WHOA!

[SCREECHING]

AW, MAN.

I DON'T GET IT.

WE BROUGHT ALL THE STUFF BACK.

WHY ARE WE STILL HAVING BAD LUCK?

BECAUSE NOT EVERYTHING'S BACK.

THE BROKEN VASE!

UH-OH. I KIND OF SWEPT IT UP

AND THREW IT IN THE TRASH CAN OUT BACK.

YES! IT'S STILL HERE.

I AM SO NOT LOVING THIS CHINESE BAD LUCK.

ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S BAD LUCK,

IT'S JUST TRASH DAY.

[SIGHS]

DRAGON, UP!

Trixie: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I GOTTA GET THOSE CREATURES BACK IN THE BOX.

WHAT ABOUT TRIX AND ME?

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO

HAVE A TRUCK TO CATCH.

Fu: WHOA, UP, UP, AND AWAY, WOO-HOO!

DID I ASK TO BE VOLUNTEERED,

MR. JOHNNY HELPER SCOUT?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OH!

AH! HEY!

[SCREECHES]

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

[SCREECHES]

[THUD]

[GROWLS]

HEY, BUDDY, YOU'RE STOPPING THE SHOW.

OR SHOULD I SAY, DRAGGIN' DOWN THE DRAGON.

[GROWLS]

[SCREECHING]

HI-YA!

WHO DID THAT? WHAT'S HE WEARING?

LOOK AT THAT!

UH!

[CRIES]

[GRUNTING]

[ROARS]

[SCREECHES]

[SCREECH]

DAD!

YUM! THAT SURE IS

A FANCY DRAGON COSTUME RIGHT THERE.

DARN TOOTIN'!

HA HA! AREN'T YOU GUYS GLAD

WE WORKED HARD ON OUR DRAGON?

THAT ONE LOOKED SO FAKEY-McFAKERSON.

WAS THAT-- JAKE?

[SCREECH]

MAN, YOU DUDES AREN'T BAG-HEAD UGLY,

YOU'RE BOX-HEAD UGLY. AAH!

UH!

[FAINT SCREAM]

[SCREECHING]

AAH!

Crowd: WOO!

SPECIAL EFFECTS!

[SCREECH]

WHOA!

[MOANING]

UH.

I THINK BEING STUCK IN A BOX

MADE THEM A LITTLE CRANKY.

AH-CHOO!

COME ON, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

IS GET THEM BACK IN THE BOX.

ONE AT A TIME!

JUST PITCH ME ONE RIGHT HERE,

I'LL CATCH IT.

HI-YAH!

[SCREECH]

[GROWLS]

Fu: THAT'S IT, BUDDY!

BRING THE HEAT! BRING IT!

PULL UP! PULL UP!

AAH--YAH!

OHH.

STEE--RIKE!

[CHEERING]

DUDE, HOW DID THEY DO THE TALKING DOG?

[PANTING]

UH.

THERE IT IS!

STOP! STOP!

[PANTING]

WE CAN'T CATCH HIM.

NO, BUT ORTHO-CLOGGY CAN.

YI-YI-YI-YAH!

LIGHTWEIGHT, YET STURDY.

HAH, I KNEW THEY'D COME IN HANDY.

OR FOOTY.

AAH!

OH, OK.

THE COSTUMES AREN'T THAT BAD,

BUT I CAN TOTALLY SEE THE WIRES.

HONEY, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOUR BROTHER

GOT IN THIS MESS,

BUT I THINK HE NEEDS YOUR HELP.

FINALLY! BEING A FAKE DRAGON

IS SO LESS FUN THAN THE REAL THING.

WHOA! WHOA!

SEE, HALEY, NOW THAT IS A CONVINCING DRAGON.

YOU GOT-- WHERE'D SHE GO?

UH, POTTY BREAK.

HALEY!

WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?

YOU'RE FREE, AREN'T YOU?

SO WHAT'S THE PLAN?

WE GOTTA GET UGLY AND UGLIER

INTO THAT BOX THAT FU'S HOLDING.

HALEY, REMEMBER THAT NOODLE FIGHT

WE HAD LAST CHINESE NEW YEAR'S?

OH, YEAH.

MAYBE SNARLY BROWN OVER THERE

WOULD LIKE ONE OF YOUR NOODLE WIGS.

[SCREECHING]

HAPPY NOODLE YEAR, CREEP!

OH!

GOING BACK, BACK, BACK--

Fu: UH! HE MAKES THE CATCH!

[CHEERING]

UH!

[GRUNTS]

[SCREECHING]

[GRUNTING]

UH--COME ON!

GET IN THERE!

Crowd: [CHANTING "DRAGONS!"]

OK! BECAUSE YOU ALL DEMANDED IT,

UH, GRAND FINALE TIME!

UH! HUH?

[SCREECHES]

Jake: WHOA!

GOT 'EM ALL, KID. AH, GOOD THING, TOO,

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T THAT MUCH

FLUFF LEFT IN MY CUSHION.

HALEY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!

YOU COULD'VE PICKED UP A FEW

TIPS FROM THE BIG DRAGON SHOW.

I HEARD THE CROWD CHEERING FROM THE BATHROOM.

YOU MUST'VE BEEN ONE AWESOME DRAGON, HUH, DAD?

OH, WELL, I--

YOU KNOW, I'M JUST TRYING

TO DO JUSTICE TO MY HERITAGE.

Spud: CAREFULLY--

PHEW. PHEW.

GOT THESE MONKEYS BACK IN THE CAGE.

AND WE GOT THIS BABY

BACK TOGETHER IN ONE PIECE.

MORE LIKE 477 PIECES.

NICE TRY, THOUGH.

AH--WHERE'S 478?

[GASP] OOH!

[GASP]

LOOKING FOR THIS?

I FOUND IT OUTSIDE.

ANY PROBLEMS MINDING THE SHOP?

NAH! EASY-PEASY, LEMON SQUEEZY.

YEAH--YEAH, NOTHING GOING ON HERE.

SNOOZEFEST.

[SIGHS]

ACTUALLY, GRAMPS,

WE DID HAVE PROBLEMS.

BIG PROBLEMS.

EH--

HMM. BY PROBLEMS, DO YOU PERHAPS MEAN

ACCIDENTALLY SWEEPING

TRASH OUT OF THE SHOP,

RESULTING IN CATASTROPHIC BAD LUCK

UNTIL EVERYTHING WAS RETURNED?

HOLD UP. YOU KNEW WHAT

WAS HAPPENING THIS WHOLE TIME,

AND YOU DIDN'T HELP?

[CHUCKLES]

SOME LESSONS ARE MORE FUN TO WATCH

THAN TO TEACH.

SO I DUG THROUGH TRASH--

AND I LICKED SLIME--

AND I HAD MY CRIPPLING FEAR

OF CRICKETS EXPOSED--

JUST SO JAKE COULD LEARN A LESSON ABOUT HIS CULTURE?

I ONLY SAID IT WAS FUN FOR GRANDPA.

BUT COME, NOW. IT IS TIME FOR

THE BEST PART OF THE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION.

SORRY FOR NOT LISTENING TO YOU, GRAMPS.

I UNDERSTAND.

I MUST ADMIT, THERE ARE TIMES

WHEN I DON'T LISTEN AS WELL, EITHER.

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT, G!

IT WAS KIND OF A BACKFLIP INTO

A 180 OLLIE WITH A--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Jake: AND DID YOU KNOW

ON CHINESE NEW YEAR YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT OUT

LEACH NUTS TO HELP THE FAMILY GET ALONG?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT LEACH NUTS ARE,

BUT I THINK WE SHOULD DEFINITELY

PUT THEM OUT NEXT YEAR.

OH, AND DID YOU KNOW WASHING YOUR HAIR IS BAD LUCK, TOO...

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