Original subtitles

WHAT? WHAT IN THE CUCKOO ARE YOU DOING?

IN CASE YOU FORGOT, WE HAVE A STANDARDIZED TEST TO STUDY FOR.

IF YOU MUST KNOW, I, TOO, AM PLANNING FOR MY FUTURE.

YEAH, UH, HOW'S THAT EXACTLY?

MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR REVIEWED MY ACADEMIC RECORDS.

IT SUGGESTED I WAS MOST SUITED TO A CAREER

AS A STREET PERFORMER.

BEHOLD, I'M STUCK IN A BOX.

THIS BOX HAS FOUR WALLS.

I CAN'T GET OUT.

I'M STARTING TO PANIC.

OK, MIMES DON'T TALK.

I'M JUST A BEGINNER.

IT TAKES YEARS BEFORE YOU CAN CREATE A WALL

WITHOUT TALKING, YEARS.

YOU KNOW, YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR WOULD BE SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE

IF SHE KNEW HOW SMART YOU REALLY ARE.

FOR REAL.

WHY DON'T YOU ACTUALLY TRY

ON TOMORROW'S TEST FOR ONCE?

NO CAN DO.

I ONLY NEED TO FAIL 57 MORE TESTS

TO COMPLETE MY ANSWER BUBBLE ODE TO DaVINCI'S LAST SUPPER.

SPUD, WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID

TO LET ANYONE KNOW YOU'RE A BRAINIAC?

I'M HOLDING ON TO A ROPE.

IT'S PULLING ME OUT OF THE ROOM.

AH!

IF THAT BOY WOULD JUST SHOW EVERYONE

WHAT HE CAN DO WITH THAT HEAD OF HIS.

OH, AND I DON'T MEAN THAT DANCING BOWTIE TRICK HE DOES

WITH HIS ADAM'S APPLE.

YEAH, THEN HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO ROLL THROUGH LIFE AS A MIME.

YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE.

[KISSING] [KISSING]

[GIGGLING]

[BURP]

TOMORROW'S TEST DETERMINES WHAT HONORS CLASSES WE CAN TAKE NEXT YEAR,

AND HONORS CLASSES GET YOU INTO COLLEGE,

AND A GOOD COLLEGE MEANS A GOOD JOB.

SO, I'M GOING TO DO SPUD THE BIGGEST FAVOR OF HIS LIFE.

HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?

I'M GONNA MAKE SURE HE FINALLY GETS THE PROPS

HE DESERVES BY GETTING HIM TO TAKE THE TEST FOR REAL.

[CRASH]

HEY, SPUD.

MY ACADEMIC STANDINGS COULD USE A LITTLE JUICING.

MIND ACING MY TEST FOR ME?

I'M BEHIND A WALL.

I'M OPENING A DOOR,

AND I'M GIVING YOU A THUMBS UP.

AND, BEGIN.

NOW REMEMBER, EYES FORWARD,

NUMBER 2 PENCILS ONLY,

AND IF YOUR IN NEED OF THE RESTROOM FACILITIES,

TOO BAD FOR YOU.

[BEEPING]

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THE FIRST PERFECT STANDARDIZED TEST SCORE

IN THE HISTORY OF MILLARD FILLMORE MIDDLE SCHOOL.

OUR OWN RESIDENT GENIUS IS...

SPUD?!

[NO AUDIO]

I'M YELLING...NO!

¶ HE'S COOL, HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST, HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL, BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ A REAL LIVE WIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HIS SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY, WHAT'S UP, G? ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M A DRAGON, I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR FROM THE N.Y.C. ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

[BELL RINGS]

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SUPERIOR,

GERMAN CARS, GERMAN STRUDEL,

GERMAN GIRDLES, AND THE WOMEN WHO WEAR THEM, THIS CAN'T BE.

DANG, IT'S BEEN LIKE A DAY AND A HALF.

YOU THINK HE'D BE OVER IT BY NOW.

YEAH, IT'S WEIRD.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF I SHOWED MY NOGGIN

AND ALL ITS NOGGINATING GLORY,

MY LIFE WOULD CHANGE LIKE, SHABAAM,

BUT SO FAR IT'S LIKE, TOTALLY SHABORING.

[GASPS]

THE NAME IS BRAINERD,

AGENT BRAINERD FROM THE MANHATTAN GENIUS INSTITUTE.

I'M HERE FOR--

[GASPS] M.G.I.?

THE ELITE TWO-WEEK BOOT CAMP FOR BRAINS?

WELL, I ASSUMED YOU'D WANT TO RECRUIT ME TO TEACH THERE,

BUT YOU'VE COME FASTER THAN I EXPECTED. YES.

OH, HOTVASH SCHMORTBAN.

I ACCEPT.

I'M GOING TO TEACH AT THE GENIUS INSTITUTE.

¶ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ¶

NO. I'M HERE FOR ONE ARTHUR P. SPUDINSKI.

WHAT!?

SPUDINSKI?

YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN.

LOOK AT HIM.

WHAT? IN MY BOOK, A CLEAN TOE IS A HAPPY TOE.

HA HA.

MR. SPUDINSKI, MAY I HAVE A WORD?

NO. THIS IS A MISTAKE.

THE MACHINE, IT MALFUNCTIONED. I'M SURE OF IT.

[GRUNTING]

MR. SPUDINSKI, YOUR TEST SCORE IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.

SO IMPRESSIVE, WE'RE OFFERING YOU A PLACE AT THE MANHATTAN GENIUS INSTITUTE.

WHAT IS THIS NOW?

THE WHAT? THE GENIUS INSTITUTE?

IT'S A TWO-WEEK PROGRAM DESIGNED TO CULTIVATE

THE BRIGHTEST MINDS IN THE TRI-STATE AREA.

WOW, I'M HONORED AND ALL,

BUT I'VE GOT NO MULLAH FOR THE SCHOOLAH.

I MEAN, SO UNLESS I CAN PAY TUITION

IN POCKET LINT AND PRE-CHEWED GUM,

I'LL HAVE TO RESPECTFULLY DECLINE.

YOUR TUITION WILL BE COVERED BY AN ANONYMOUS BENEFACTOR.

YOUR PARENTS HAVE ALREADY SIGNED

THE PAPERWORK, SO IT'S SETTLED.

I EXPECT TO SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING AT THE INSTITUTE.

NO!

GOT TO TELL YOU PROFESSOR ROT, DUDE,

I'M PRETTY UPSET ABOUT IT MYSELF.

YOUVISHDIAGI...OOH.

PSST.

FU?

SORRY TO BUG YOU AT SCHOOL, KID.

WE GOT A LITTLE DRAGON EMERGENCY.

A SEWER TROLL ALERTED GRAMPS

THAT SOMEONE'S STASHING A POWERFUL MAGICAL ARTIFACT DOWN HERE.

WE GOT TO FIND IT BEFORE IT ENDS UP IN THE WRONG HANDS.

IN OTHER WORDS, THE USUAL.

SPEAKING OF USUAL, THAT'S HOW I LIKE MY LIFE.

USUAL. SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

BUT NOW, THANKS TO SOMEONE, WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED,

MY EXISTENCE IS CAREENING OFF

IN A COLLISION COURSE WITH CHANGE.

SPUD, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE OVER DOING IT JUST A TAD BIT?

NO, TRIX, I DON'T.

ONCE YOU GET LABELED A SMART LASS OR LADDIE,

LIFE IS ALL WORK AND NO PLAY.

MY POPS TAUGHT ME THAT WHEN I WAS BUT A BABE.

AND THAT SON, IN A NUTSHELL, IS TRICKLE-DOWN ECONOMICS.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU'RE TOO SMART TO LAUGH AT THAT KIND OF BROAD,

SLAPSTICK KIND OF HUMOR, MISTER.

[BURP]

[LAUGHTER]

ALL I'M SAYING IS, I LIKE MY LIFE JUST THE WAY IT IS.

YEAH, TRAGIC, KID, BUT IF WE COULD GET BACK

TO SAVING THE MAGICAL WORLD, HUH?

YO, WHAT IS THAT?

UH, HARD TO SAY FOR SURE, KID,

BUT IF MEMORY SERVES--

[ELECTRIC SURGING]

NOT YOURS.

NOW, STEP AWAY FROM THE BOX AND MAYBE,

JUST MAYBE I'LL LET YOU ALL LIVE.

ELI PANDARUS.

WHAT'S A LYING, CHEATING, EVIL WIZARD

DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

AH HA HA HA.

YOU SAY THE SWEETEST THINGS,

BUT IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN FLATTERY TO STOP ME

FROM TAKING WHAT'S MINE SO THAT I CAN--

OH, LET'S SEE, WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?

OH, YES.

TAKE OVER THE MAGICAL WORLD.

SORRY, PANDARUS, BUT THE ONLY WORLD

YOU'RE TAKING OVER IS A WORLD OF PAIN.

DRAGON UP.

I'D LOVE TO STAY AND CHITTER CHAT,

BUT I'VE GOT BIG PLANS,

WORLD DOMINATION AND SO FORTH,

SO, I'LL HAVE TO LET MY MINIONS' FISTS DO THE TALKING.

TIME FOR A LITTLE MINION MASHING.

HYAH!

[GRUNTING]

I'M THROWING A BRICK.

IT'S HAVING NO APPARENT EFFECT.

[GROWLS]

AAH!

I'M RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!

[GASPS]

[GRUNTING]

HEY, YOU.

WATCH OUT FOR THAT THIRD RAIL.

[GRUNTING]

'CAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO GET HOT.

[GROWLS]

THIS IS WHAT I CALL MY BLINDSIDE MOVE.

[GRUNTS] HA!

WHOA!

SO HARD TO GET GOOD HELP THESE DAYS.

TA-TA, DRAGON.

UH!

AW, MAN.

PANDORA'S BOX.

LOCKED WITHIN, IS AN EVIL,

CAPABLE OF UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS.

WHAT DOES PANDARUS WANT WITH A BIG OLD BOX OF BAD?

GOOD QUESTION.

ONLY DIRECT DESCENDENTS OF PANDORA ARE CAPABLE

OF CONTROLLING THE EVIL LOCKED WITHIN.

HMM. PANDORA, PANDARUS.

HA! PANDORA, PANDARUS.

SPUD, YOU THINK THEY'RE RELATED?

NO, ACTUALLY I WAS THINKING THOSE WOULD MAKE GOOD NAMES

FOR A BROTHER/SISTER TEAM OF CRIME FIGHTING PANDAS,

BUT RELATED? ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO WITH THAT.

HOLD UP.

IF PANDARUS CAN CONTROL THE EVIL,

WHY DIDN'T HE JUST OPEN UP THE BOX

WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE?

I DO NOT KNOW,

BUT WE MUST FIND OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

YEAH, WELL, I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU

SAVE THE MAGICAL WORLD AND ALL,

BUT I START MY INTERNMENT AT THE GENIUS INSTITUTE TOMORROW.

GENIUS INSTITUTE?

YOU?

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

SPUD?

[SPEAKING CHINESE AND LAUGHING]

THANKS FOR WALKING ME TO MY FIRST DAY OF GENIUSIZING.

THERE'S NO PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW.

EXCEPT ON A DATE WITH KYLE WILKINS.

I'D SELL MY MAMA DOWN A RIVER

FOR A DATE WITH KYLE WILKINS, OK?

I MEAN, IF FINE WAS A CRIME--

YEAH, AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY, YOU'LL SEE.

LIFE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ALL PLAY AND NO WORK, OR ALL WORK AND NO PLAY.

SEE YA LATER.

AND I'M SORRY I SWITCHED THE TESTS, YO.

WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU.

HEY, I CAN MULTIPLY

UP TO THE 16th DECIMAL POINT WITHOUT A CALCULATOR.

HI! I WON THE NATIONAL SPELLING BEE WHEN I WAS 7.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR SPECIALTY?

I DO AN AWESOME MIME RENDITION OF ROAD RAGE.

I'M GETTING IN MY CAR.

SOMEONE CUTS ME OFF.

I HONK MY HORN AND YELL AT THEM.

HONK, HONK! HEY, YOU!

WHERE YOU GOING?

MIMES DON'T TALK.

I AM JUST A BEGINNER!

STUDENTS, WELCOME TO THE GENIUS INSTITUTE.

TOMORROW WE BEGIN TO TEST THE DEPTHS OF YOUR INTELLIGENCE.

YEAH!

ALL RIGHT!

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

THIS ROOM IS FILLED

WITH THE WORLD'S MOST EXTRAORDINARY YOUNG MINDS.

TAKE EACH FACE IN AND ASK YOURSELF,

"WHO AMONGST US IS THE ONE?

THE SMARTEST OF THEM ALL."

YES, YOU HAVE A QUESTION.

HUH?

NO, I'M FLYING A KITE,

AND THE WIND IS VERY STRONG.

AH!

THAT'S RIGHT.

ONE OF THEM IS THE ONE.

AND WHEN I FIND HIM, HE'LL BE MINE FOREVER.

AND BY FOREVER, I ACTUALLY MEAN

A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I DO AWAY WITH THE LITTLE BUGGER.

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

HEY, TRIX, CHECK IT. ACCORDING TO THIS JOURNAL,

A FEW CENTURIES BACK,

PANDORA'S BOX WAS MODIFIED WITH AN ENCHANTED LOCK.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY PANDARUS HASN'T OPENED IT YET,

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO.

TRIX?

THAT WAS OUT BY A MILE.

UH, WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?

IT'S THE MIME CHANNEL.

I KNOW I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HIM,

BUT I CAN'T HELP MISSING OUR LITTLE MIME BOY.

YEAH, I MISS HIM, TOO.

"I" BEFORE "E," EXCEPT AFTER "C."

"I" BEFORE "E," EXCEPT AFTER "C."

YOU TWO ARE GOIN' DOWN.

THESE TESTS ARE FOR SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE,

NOT ANNOYANCE.

SO, HELLO, I'M GONNA WIN.

YOU GUYS WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS I DO BETTER THAN YOU?

FAIL.

I BET YOU THAT I CAN FAIL OUT OF HERE IN ONE DAY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND I'M GOING TO HAVE FUN DOING IT.

FAIL?

ON PURPOSE?

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

NO TRUE GENIUS WOULD DO THAT.

IT'S AGAINST OUR NATURE, OUR RAISON D'ETRA.

MMM, I HAD A RAISON BAGEL FOR BREAKFAST.

DELISH.

WE WILL NOW BEGIN THE ADVANCED INTELLIGENCE TESTING.

FOR THE FIRST EXAM,

THE STUDENT WHO BUILDS THE STRONGEST LASER WINS.

[CRYING]

MMM. MOST IMPRESSIVE, IRA.

[LAUGHTER]

ARTHUR SPUDINSKI!

READY TO ROCK.

OH, AND YOU MIGHT WANT SOME EARPLUGS.

[LOUD ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING ]

¶ WO'OW, WO'OW, WO'OW, WO'OW ¶

¶ MY FINGERS ARE GOIN' ¶

¶ AND WE MELT, FALL TO THE GROUND EXHAUSTED ¶

I'VE GIVEN MY SOUL TO THE GODS OF ROCK.

PRONOUNCE ME WORTHY.

WELL, SPUD.

THAT WAS VERY LOUD.

FAILED IT.

NEXT, WE WILL TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF CHEMISTRY.

WHAT DID YOU MAKE, DEAR?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I THINK I'M ALLERGIC TO IT.

I MADE SOME FROTHY PURPLE STUFF.

OH, AHH.

WHAT THE--

OHH. OH, MR. SPUDINSKI,

ARE YOU SURE YOU RECEIVED AN INVITATION TO M.G.I.?

YEP. OH, AND MRS. GRUMPLESTOCK?

DIG THE BEARD.

MR. SPUDINSKI, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CHEATED

ON THE ENTRANCE EXAM,

BUT I WON'T STAND FOR IT ANY LONGER.

THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE TEST.

WHEN YOU FAIL IT, YOUR TIME AT THE GENIUS INSTITUTE IS OVER.

STILL NOTHING ON PANDARUS

AND HIS CONTROL OVER PANDORA'S BOX?

NO, BUT I DID FIND A VIDEO

OF A GUY STANDING TOO CLOSE TO THE BUSINESS END OF AN ELEPHANT.

"THAT'S A WHOLE LOT OF PEANUTS," IS ALL I CAN SAY.

JAKIE, THIS IS POINTLESS.

SPUD'S THE COMPUTER GENIUS, NOT ME.

HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE.

BEFORE THERE WAS AN INTERNET,

WE USED TO GET THE SCOOP THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

BELIEVE YOU ME, IF PANDARUS IS UP TO SOMETHING,

SOMEBODY HERE'LL KNOW ABOUT IT.

NOTHIN' BUT NET.

[GRUNTING]

CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOME WATER?

THANKS, I WAS PARCHED.

HEY, HEY. BINGO.

LOOK WHO'S AT THE END OF THE BAR

NURSING A MILKSHAKE,

AND A GRUDGE, BY THE LOOKS OF IT.

THIS MILKSHAKE, IT'S LIKE LIFE.

SO SWEET UNTIL THE CHIPS GET STUCK IN THE STRAW

AND IT GIVES YOU A HEADACHE.

A ROUND OF BROWNIE DELIGHTS, AND KEEP 'EM COMIN'.

OH, I KNOW YOU.

ELI PANDARUS' SIDEKICK. AM I RIGHT?

YEAH, UNTIL HE GAVE ME MY WALKING PAPERS.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL FU ALL ABOUT IT.

PANDARUS DROPPED ME LIKE YESTERDAY'S NEWS

AND TOOK OVER THE MANHATTAN GENIUS INSTITUTE WITHOUT ME.

SAY WHAT, NOW?

HE'S LOOKING FOR A SUPER GENIUS

TO UNLOCK THE CODE FOR SOME BOX HE HAS.

HE'S BEEN FUNDING THE WORLD'S GREATEST SCIENTISTS,

BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CRACK IT.

SO, HE DECIDED TO SEE IF A FRESH, NEW MIND COULD DO IT.

AND THUS, M.G.I.

PROBLEM IS, THE POOR SUCKER WHO DOES IT

IS GOING TO BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE

WHEN PANDARUS GETS HIS HANDS ON HIM.

SPUD! SPUD!

YOU FAILED ME.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT WAS TO FIND THE ONE

WITHOUT HAVING TO REVEAL THE CODE.

NOW, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SHOW THEM THE TEMPLATES.

JUST REMEMBER, IF NO ONE CRACKS IT,

YOU'LL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS A TOAD.

AND AN UGLY ONE AT THAT.

[CROAK]

I WON'T FAIL YOU.

THIS IS OUR FINAL PLACEMENT TEST.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL PRESSURED,

BUT IT WILL DETERMINE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,

AND MINE.

WHOEVER CRACKS THIS CODE IS THE ONE.

WE WILL NOW BEGIN.

[GASPING]

BUT I NEVER FAIL.

AH, THE HUMILIATION.

H-U-M-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N.

HUMILIATION.

OH, THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

THIS CODE HAS CRACKED ME.

OH, NO.

NO ONE CRACKED THE CODE.

YOU ALL CROAKED,

I MEAN CHOKED.

I HAVE ONE FINAL LESSON.

ALWAYS BE KIND TO TOADS.

HEY, HO. OVER HERE.

I HAVEN'T TRIED IT YET.

WHY WASTE OUR TIME, MR. SPUDINSKI?

IT'S CLEAR YOU DON'T BELONG AT THE GENIUS INSTITUTE.

WHY DON'T YOU PACK YOUR PROTRACTOR AND LEAVE?

YES!

TOLD YOU I COULD FAIL OUT OF HERE!

IT'S OBVIOUS. HE'S NOT A REAL GENIUS.

OH, WHY?

BECAUSE I ACTUALLY HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?

YOU GUYS ARE THE REASON I DON'T WANT TO USE MY NOGGIN.

WHO WANTS TO BE A STRESSED OUT TYPE "A" WHO FORGETS TO BE A KID,

'CAUSE THEY'RE SO BUSY TRYING TO BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME?

OH, I DO!

WELL, I DON'T.

ALL WORK, NO PLAY, ALL PLAY, NO WORK?

THERE HAS TO BE A BALANCE.

THAT SPEECH WOULD BE MOVING, IF YOU REALLY WERE A GENIUS.

OK, I'LL PROVE IT.

YOUR CODE IS EASY.

I MEAN, IT MIGHT SEEM HARD

IF YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT IN 2-D,

BUT IN 3-D IT'S LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY.

3-D?

I DON'T SEE IT.

DUH.

YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE EVERY FOURTH DERIVATIVE

OF THE DANGLING PARTICIPLE

OF THE 10th LETTER OF EVERY SIXTH--

OH, I'M SORRY. WHAT?

NO ONE'S WITH ME HERE?

YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE.

ELI PANDARUS?

WAIT, AREN'T YOU LIKE, TOTALLY EVIL?

AGAIN WITH THE FLATTERY, BUT IT WON'T WORK.

HA HA HA HA!

AAH!

[ALARM BLASTING]

JAKIE, I'M TELLING YOU.

THERE IS NO WAY WE'RE GOING TO BE ABLE

TO STEALTH OUR WAY IN WITH YOU ALL DRAGONED UP.

HOLD UP. I GOT AN IDEA.

TAIL OF THE DRAGON.

[GRUNTS]

COME ON, FOLLOW ME.

JAKIE, LOSE THE TAIL.

AH, YES.

THERE'S NOTHING MORE EXCITING

THAN EXECUTING A PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT.

TRUE, AND I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORDS FOR IT.

YOU SEE, PANDORA'S BOX WAS MISSING FOR YEARS,

BUT THE CODE TO UNLOCK IT

HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THROUGH MY FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS.

MY FATHER AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM WERE NEVER ABLE

TO FIND ANYONE WHO COULD CRACK IT.

NOW, ALL I NEED IS FOR YOU TO FINISH THE CODE

AND I'LL FINALLY HAVE MY ARMY TO TAKE OVER THE MAGICAL WORLD.

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

REALLY GOOD EVIL LAUGH, DUDE.

OH, CHILLS.

BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M GOING TO HELP YOU?

[WIMPY EVIL LAUGH]

MY LAUGH OF EVIL NEEDS A LITTLE WORK.

A MOMENT, PLEASE.

ALL THE TIME YOU NEED.

MANIS ATMOVAYO MOHAIR MOTEM!

AH! OK! OK, I'LL READ YOUR CURSE.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.

OK, LET'S SEE.

FLIP THE OUTER HANDLE, TURN THE LOCK 14 DEGREES,

YADA, YADA, YADA.

THEN UNSEAL THE 6 LATCHES AND YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.

JAKE!

TOO LATE DRAGON.

NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.

GUESS AGAIN.

HYAH!

HOW ABOUT WE DECIDE ONCE AND FOR ALL,

WHO WINS IN A FIGHT BETWEEN BRAINS AND BRAWN.

TOO BAD FOR YOU I'VE GOT BOTH.

UH! UH!

AND TOO BAD FOR YOU, MR. SPUDINSKI.

I HAVE NO USE FOR YOU NOW.

AAH!

HUH?

SPUD, HANG ON.

HUH! HUH! OW!

COULD SOMEONE GIVE ME A HAND?

OH, WAIT. I ALREADY DID.

[JAKE GRUNTING]

WAS THIS THE KIND OF HAND YOU NEEDED?

OOF!

OR WAS IT THIS KIND?

UH!

WOW!

OH, I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND. NOW, WHAT WAS IT?

OH, YEAH.

MEDAS ATMOVAYER MOOVAYER MOOTAM.

[MOOING]

OOPS. THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

MANTIS ATMOVAYER MOVAYER MONTAM.

NOPE. LAST TRY.

MANIS ATMOVAYO MOHAIR MOTEM.

UHH!

I WON'T BE STICKING AROUND FOR THE BIG FINALE.

HUH?

YOU CAME FOR ME.

WE COULDN'T GET THROUGH TWO DAYS WITHOUT YOU,

LET ALONE TWO WEEKS.

AH, YOU'RE CRUSHING MY SPINE A LITTLE BIT, THOUGH.

OH, SORRY.

COME HERE, YOU.

COME ON, GIVE SPUD THE LOVE.

YOU KNOW YOU WANNA. COME HERE.

OK, OK.

I'M GIVING YOU THE LOVE.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

HEY, SPUD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TEACHING MY NEW BUDS OVER HERE YOU CAN BE SMART AND HAVE FUN.

AN AVERAGE SPEED OF 15 MILES PER HOUR DOWN A 47-DEGREE ANGLE...

SPUD, I'M SORRY I PUSHED YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO.

IT'S OK.

SOMETIMES A KID NEEDS A LITTLE PUSH FROM HIS FRIENDS.

WHOA, HA HA! YEAH!

TRUTH IS, I WAS WRONG TO HIDE MY NOGGIN.

WHEN I WAS CRACKIN' THE CODE,

IT FELT GOOD, LIKE I WAS BEING CHALLENGED.

AND I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT IF YOU HADN'T BELIEVED IN ME.

I MEAN, I WAS EVEN THINKING OF TAKING SOME ADVANCED CLASSES.

THAT IS GOOD TO HEAR, SPUD.

OH, YOU GUYS WILL BE GLAD TO KNOW

THAT I'M THINKING MAYBE THE LIFE OF A MIME,

NOT SO MUCH THE LIFE FOR ME.

SO, THEN WHAT YOU GONNA BE?

A FAMOUS SCIENTIST? OOH, A MATHEMATICIAN?

NO, I'M THINKING MAYBE I'M MORE OF A ONE-MAN BAND KIND OF DUDE.

AW, MAN. AW, MAN.

SPUDINSKI'S MIND IS ONE STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS PLACE.

HERE'S ON OF HIS IQ TESTS YOU DIDN'T SEE.

SPUD, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A NUMBER OF IMAGES.

JUST BLURT OUT WHATEVER IT IS THEY REMIND YOU OF.

MONKEY RIDING A UNICYCLE.

OH, I KNOW, THAT'S A MONKEY RIDING A UNICYCLE.

AND THIS ONE?

MMM, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE HARDER TO DECIPHER.

IT'S A STINKING MONKEY RIDING A UNICYCLE.

NOPE, SORRY, JUST NOT SEEING IT...