Original subtitles

YOU GOT TO FEEL BAD FOR THAT DUDE.

I JUST DON'T GET HOW A GUY WITH NO HEAD

COULD HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD EMPEROR.

OOH, IS IT ME,

OR IS KYLE WILKINS LOOKING EXTRA CRISPY WITH A SIDE OF "MMM, MMM"?

TRIX, YOU KNOW ME AND SPUD DON'T DO GIRL TALK.

YEAH, THAT'D BE FAIRLY CREEPY.

BUT SPEAKING OF EXTRA CRISPY,

THE CHEERLEADERS ARE LOOKING H-O-T,

SPELLS "SMOKIN'."

SO YOU THINK I SHOULD TELL STACEY

THAT HER BEAUTY HAUNTS MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT?

SINCE WHEN ARE YOU CRUSHING ON STACEY?

SINCE OUR LIFE-ALTERING ENCOUNTER IN THE CAFETERIA LAST TUESDAY.

EWW. IT TOUCHED ME.

MY HEAD'S BEEN SPINNING EVER SINCE.

SPUD, THOSE CHEERLEADERS CAN'T EVEN PASS BY A WALL WITHOUT INSULTING IT.

LADIES, OBSERVE THE WALL.

NOW, TEAR IT TO SHREDS.

I'LL START IT OFF. THAT WALL IS BLANK AND STUPID.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?

Man: ENOUGH WITH THE CHITTY-CHAT.

AS YOUR FUTURE CHAPERONE, I WILL REMIND YOU

THAT THE COSMOPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART IS A HALLOWED INSTITUTION.

YOU ARE TO TREAT IT WITH RESPECT.

HMM. YOU SAW NOTHING. YOU HEARD NOTHING. MOVE ALONG.

[CRASHING]

WHAT?

AT LAST. I'M FREE.

[COUGHING]

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW STUFFY IT GETS INSIDE THAT MARBLE?

WE GOT A SITUATION DOWN HERE.

SWEET GRANNY MOSES.

HA. MORTAL FOOL.

YOU THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE FURY'S POWER?

ONCE I FIND MY SISTERS,

WE SHALL ONCE AGAIN RULE THE EARTH.

I STILL GOT IT.

OH! IS THAT A SPLIT END?

¶ HE'S COOL, HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST, HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL, BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ A REAL LIVE WIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HIS SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY WILL WALK UP SHEETS ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR FROM THE N.Y.C.¶

YOU HEARD!

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

AFTERNOON, MY LADY. I'M SPUD.

PERHAPS YOU REMEMBER ME

FROM A BRIEF YET MONUMENTAL CAFETERIA ENCOUNTER.

LADIES, OBSERVE WEIRD BOY.

NOW, TEAR HIM TO SHREDS.

I'LL START. WHAT KIND OF FREAKISH NAME IS SPUD?

TOTES. WAS YOUR MOM, LIKE, SOME KIND OF POTATO FARMER.

WELL, I GUESS I BETTER GO IN FOR THE SAVE.

UH, EXCUSE ME, GIRLFRIEND.

NOBODY PUTS DOWN SPUD EXCEPT FOR ME.

OK. SO WE'LL TEAR YOU DOWN INSTEAD. LADIES.

OOH, I'LL START.

DID YOU GET YOUR HAIR DONE IN A BAKERY?

AND DO THEY EVEN SELL WOMEN'S CLOTHES WHERE YOU BOUGHT THOSE PANTS?

IT'S CALLED BEING AN INDIVIDUAL, HONEY,

SOMETHING YOU CHEERLEADING-BUT- NOBODY'S-FOLLOWING CLONES

WOULDN'T KNOW IF IT TOOK A BITE OUT OF YOUR MASS- PRODUCED RUMPSHAKERS.

COME ON, SPUD. LET'S ROTATE.

UH, OK.

BUT I THINK I WAS MAKING REAL PROGRESS HERE.

MOMMY KNOWS, SWEETIEKINS.

I DON'T WANNA PUT YOU AWAY EITHER.

BUT WE'RE GONNA GO FIND OUR SISTERS.

UH-HUH. YES, WE ARE.

SO WE CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD AGAIN.

WOW. I AM HOT.

WHATEV WITH THAT TOMBOY.

SHE WAS ALL--OH! MY BAD. I DIDN'T SEE YOU.

I MUST HAVE A BLIND SPOT FOR HORRID HATS.

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

YEAH. WE DON'T DISH WITH FREAKOS

IN FRAZZY ENSEMBLES.

INSOLENT MORTALS. DO YOU DARE MOCK FURY?

DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?

FU DOG.

CAN YOU TELL US WHAT YOU SAW?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, BUT IT WAS PRETTY WEIRD.

THERE'S BEEN AN INCIDENT AT THE MUSEUM.

I SWEAR. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT TOILET WAS ART.

I AM AFRAID IT'S SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS.

Fu: OH, BROTHER. HER NAME'S FURY.

SHE'S ONE OF THE 3 GORGONS.

THE WHO-GONS?

3 POWERFUL SISTERS.

COMBINED, THEY HAVE THE POWER TO IMPRISON IN STONE

ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT THEM.

AND THEY MAKE THE WORST TRIPLE DATE

IN THE HISTORY OF MAGICAL FEMALES, BELIEVE ME.

SO WHAT'S THEIR STORY?

YOU SEE, FURY AND HER SISTERS, EURYALE AND MEDUSA,

RULED OVER THE ANCIENT WORLD,

FORCING ALL MAGICAL CREATURES TO DO THEIR BIDDING.

UNTIL A GREEK WARRIOR USED THEIR OWN REFLECTIONS

TO IMPRISON THEM IN STONE,

WHERE THEY HAVE REMAINED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

ONLY NOW FURY'S FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY FREE

AND MOST LIKELY LOOKING TO TURN THE WORLD INTO LIVING LAWN ORNAMENTS.

ALONE, FURY'S GAZE WOULD ONLY HYPNOTIZE HER VICTIMS.

TO RESTORE THE GORGONS' FULL POWERS,

SHE MUST FIRST FIND AND FREE HER 2 SISTERS.

WHICH MEANS WE GOT TO FIND THEM FIRST.

Trixie: JAKEY, YOU AND SPUD, YOU THINK I DRESS REAL COOL.

RIGHT?

Jake: WHAT DO WE KNOW? WE LEAVE THE GIRL'S FASHION TO THE GIRLS.

YEAH. YOU'RE ONE OF US, ONE OF THE GUYS.

EXCUSE ME. I'M MORE THAN THAT.

I, TRIXIE CARTER, AM GLAM ALL THE WAY.

YEAH. LET'S TALK LATER, OK?

MAKE IT SNAPPY.

IF FURY LOOKS ANYTHING LIKE HER SISTER,

I THINK I GET WHY SHE'S SO MAD.

ACTUALLY, MOMMY ALWAYS SAID I WAS THE PRETTY ONE.

SOMETHING YOUR MAMA FORGOT TO TELL YOU--

NOBODY MESSES WITH THE HAIR.

JAKEY, WATCH YOUR BACK.

HUH?

WHOA! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SNAKES?

[GASPS] MY BABY!

OH, SWEETHEART, ARE YOU OK?

WHAT UP, FURY? THAT ALL YOU GOT?

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

MINIONS, ATTACK!

STACEY? TRACY? LACEY?

THAT'S RIGHT, DRAGON.

WE GIRLS DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER.

DANG. THOSE GIRLS HAVE MASTERED THE PUTDOWN

AND THE BEATDOWN.

Grandfather: FURY MUST HAVE THE CHEERLEADERS UNDER HER SPELL.

FRET NOT, MY PRECIOUS PUDDING CUP.

SPUDDY WILL MAKE THINGS ALL BETTER.

THE SPELL MUST HAVE AN ON/OFF SWITCH

'CAUSE WE STOPPED BY THE GYM THIS MORNING

AND THE CHEERLEADERS SEEMED FINE.

THEY DIDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.

FURY HAS AN INBORN ABILITY TO SENSE THE LOCATION OF HER SISTERS.

SURELY, SHE WILL USE THE CHEERLEADERS AGAIN

TO HELP RETRIEVE HER ONLY OTHER SISTER, MEDUSA.

AND SO FAR, OUR SEARCH FOR MEDUSA HAS TURNED UP ZILCH.

THEN OUR ONLY HOPE IS TO GET IN TIGHT WITH THE CHEERLEADERS.

IF FURY SUMMONS THEM AGAIN, THEN THEY COULD LEAD US RIGHT TO THE STATUE.

YES. IF ONLY WE KNEW A GIRL

WHO COULD GO UNDERCOVER AS A CHEERLEADER,

A GIRL WHO COULD TRACK THEIR EVERY MOVE.

A GIRL THAT GOES TO OUR SCHOOL.

A GIRL WITH SERIOUS MOVES.

[COUGHING, GASPING]

HAVE SOME TEA, DEAR. IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR THROAT.

WHAT? I DON'T NEED NO TEA.

WHY DON'T I GO UNDERCOVER AS A CHEERLEADER?

TRIXIE AS A CHEERLEADER.

THANKS, TRIX. I THINK WE GOT IT COVERED, THOUGH.

BEHOLD YOUR NEW MASCOT.

EWW. KEEP DREAMING, FREAKO.

SO SPIRITED, YET SO GENTLE.

SPUD, FOCUS.

FURY'S GONNA TURN THE WORLD TO STONE UNLESS WE FIND SOMEONE--

Both: HUH?

HEY, Y'ALL, WHAT'S CRACKALATIN'?

I'M HERE TO TRY OUT FOR YOUR LITTLE CHEER SQUAD.

I--I--I--

I DIDN'T KNOW TRIXIE HAD A SISTER.

EURYALE. MY SISTER.

YOU ARE FREE.

[GROANING]

IS THIS A NEW WORLD?

AT LAST WE'LL RULE AGAIN.

AND ONCE WE FIND MEDUSA,

NONE SHALL STAND IN THE WAY OF--

OH, NO. YOU ARE NOT WEARING MY BRACELET.

SO YOU JUST PRANCE IN HERE WEARING THAT OUTFIT

AND YOU THINK YOU CAN BE ON THE TEAM?

ACTUALLY, THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME THINK I CAN BE ON THE TEAM.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE THE TEAM.

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN YOUR KNEECAPS BEFORE.

THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE SMILES.

UH, WHATEVER.

DID YOU SEE HOW THE CHEERLEADERS LOVED MY MOVES?

I WAS GETTING IT IN, WASN'T I?

STACEY EVEN SAID I CAN HELP THE TEAM GET INTO THE STATES.

YEAH, THAT'S, UH, GREAT.

SO HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY YET?

WE ONLY HAD ONE PRACTICE.

BUT OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT LACEY'S HAND CREAM SMELLS LIKE ROTTEN PEACHES,

THEY SEEM LIKE YOUR TYPICAL, POPULAR, MEAN-GIRL TYPE.

TRIX, THIS WHOLE UNDERCOVER THING COULD TAKE DAYS,

MAYBE WEEKS.

YOU SURE YOU CAN HANDLE IT?

HANDLE WHAT? BEING A GIRL?

BELIEVE IT. JUST 'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA BE A CHEERLEADER

DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T.

[GIGGLING]

UH--UH--UH...

WHAT UP, LADIES?

CHEER HUG!

WHAT, YOU THINK YOU CAN HANG WITH US

OUTSIDE OF PRACTICE, TOO?

UH, TOTES.

OK, LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT, WANNABE.

YOU MAY BE ON THE TEAM, BUT YOU ARE NOT ONE OF US YET.

THAT LITTLE ROUTINE OF YOURS WAS TEST NUMBER ONE.

SO WHAT'S TEST NUMBER TWO?

SURPRISE WARDROBE INSPECTION.

YOUR HOUSE, 20 MINUTES.

YOU IN?

UH, BRING IT ON, GIRLFRIENDS.

[SQUEALING]

SO, UH, WELCOME TO MY, UM...

FRESH ABODE, LADIES.

WHATEVER. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.

[BOTH GASP]

OH, MY BARF.

IT'S OK, GIRL. DEEP BREATHS.

IN WITH THE PRETTY, OUT WITH THE UGLY.

WHAT? THESE PANTS?

THEY PUT THE "HIP" IN HIP HOP.

DON'T THEY?

OH, SURE, IF YOU'RE A RAPPING BRICKLAYER

IN A TOOLBELT CONVENTION.

OH. WELL, I DO HAVE THESE, BUT...

[GASPS]

TREVACE TRENDOCA ORIGINALS.

BERNARD DE LAURENT EXCLUSIVES?

YEAH. MY MOM, SHE'S AN AIRLINE PILOT.

SHE BUYS ME ALL KIND OF STUFF FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.

IT'S NOT REALLY MY STYLE, BUT...

UH, CLEAN-UP AISLE YOUR MOUTH.

THIS IS SO YOUR STYLE.

CAN'T YOU SEE YOURSELF DISHING ABOUT BOYS IN THIS FRESH ENSEMBLE?

HEY, YEAH.

I DO LOOK KIND OF FRESH, DON'T I?

SO DOES ANYBODY ELSE THINK KYLE WILKINS

IS A SNACKALICIOUS COMBO PLATTER

WITH EXTRA HOTTIE SAUCE?

SSS. SIZZLING, GIRL.

OH, TOTES.

HE'S A MAJOR ORLANDO IN BLOOM.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

WHOO! THAT FACIAL WAS THE BUSINESS, RIGHT?

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WE DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY.

CHEERLEADERS NEVER PAY.

WE BRING IN TITANIC BUSINESS, OK?

PEOPLE GO THERE 'CAUSE WE GO THERE.

YEAH. THE DAY I PAY FOR FACIALS

IS THE DAY I BELIEVE LACEY'S AS GOOD A CO-CAPTAIN

AS ME AND STACEY.

OH, TOTES.

HEY!

ENOUGH WITH THE BICKERING.

LET'S GET BACK TO BUSINESS.

OK, WANNABE, YOU'VE GOT THE MOVES AND THE LOOK.

NOW IT'S TIME TO CHECK YOUR CHEERLEADER 'TUDE.

THE NEXT PERSON WHO COMES AROUND THAT CORNER, RIP 'EM TO SHREDS.

WHAT? I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD--

HEY, TRIX. YOU LIKE MY NEW LOOK?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? FINISH HIM ALREADY.

SPUD, WHAT IS YOUR ISSUE?

WELL, THIS OUTFIT CHAFES A LITTLE ON THE RUMPUS REGION, BUT--

NO, I MEAN IN LIFE.

YOU'VE NEEDED HELP TYING YOUR SHOES SINCE YOU WAS 5.

YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW IS MR. PIGGY'S PLAYHOUSE.

AND WHEN YOU BELCH OUT BROWNIE RECIPES IN HOME EC,

PEOPLE LAUGH AT YOU, NOT WITH YOU, OK?

SO HOLD THIS ALL DOWN. 1, GROW UP,

AND 2, SCRAM. BEAT IT.

GET LOST!

NICE, GIRL.

YOU REALLY MASHED THAT POTATO.

GOOD WORK.

TRIXIE. TRIX.

WHAT? WHAT?

THOSE THINGS YOU SAID TO SPUD, AS HE PUT IT,

"THEY WERE EXTRA HARSH WITH A SIDE OF MEAN BEANS."

WHAT? I PRETENDED TO BE ONE OF THEM.

ISN'T THAT THE PLAN?

YEAH, BUT DO YOU HAVE TO PRETEND SO HARD?

HERE. WE'RE MIKING YOU FOR THE SLEEPOVER TONIGHT.

MIKING ME? FOR WHAT?

UH, TO GET THE INFO ON THE GORGONS.

THE TWISTED SISTERS WHO WANNA TURN THE WORLD TO STONE.

RING ANY BELLS?

UH, YEAH. RIGHT. RIGHT.

AHEM. SO ANYWAY, GIRL...

YO, WHAT IS ALL THIS?

THE WAY YOU PEELED POTATO BOY TODAY MADE IT OFFICIAL.

YOU'RE ONE OF US, GIRL.

REALLY?

TOTALLY. YOU RULE.

I KNOW. LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE.

TOTALLY.

YOU GO FIRST, TRIX.

AIIGHT. I PICK TRUTH.

OK, IF YOU COULD KISS ANY BOY IN THE SCHOOL,

WHO WOULD IT BE?

HMM. I GUESS I'D HAVE TO PICK...

SPUD?

All: AAH!

NO, NO, NO. NO. NO. THAT'S JUST JOKES, BABY.

HOLD UP. I GOT TO BOUNCE TO THE LADIES ROOM REAL QUICK.

ALONE.

SPUD.

TRIX, YOU OK? WE LOST THE AUDIO.

I TURNED IT OFF.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PRIVATE GIRL STUFF IN HERE.

NOW, GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU BLOW MY COVER.

YOUR COVER? OR YOUR STATUS AS ONE OF THE GIRLS?

LOOK, SPUD, IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED, I AM A GIRL.

AND GIRLS DON'T BETRAY EACH OTHER'S SECRETS.

HEY, YOU GUYS, WAIT UP!

IS IT TIME FOR THE SCAVENGER HUNT?

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON, Y'ALL?

UH, SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS AIN'T A SCAVENGER HUNT.

GUYS?

I DON'T KNOW. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

I THINK THERE'S SOME BAD BUSINESS ABOUT TO GO DOWN, AND I--

[GASPS]

UH-OH.

OH, LOOK, EURYALE. A GUEST.

LET'S TRY TO MAKE HER WELCOME.

HA-HA-HA-HA! HA-HA-HA-HA!

IT'S QUIET IN THERE.

MAYBE THEY'RE SLEEPING.

HOLD UP. GIRLS DON'T ACTUALLY SLEEP AT SLEEPOVERS.

Both: HUH?

UH-OH.

Grandfather: TRIXIE WAS OUR ONE LEAK TO THE CHEERLEADERS.

IF FURY HAS INDEED SUMMONED THEM, IT MAY BE TOO LATE.

FU, DON'T YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF SPELL OR POTION

OR SOMETHING WE CAN USE TO FIND HER?

NOTHING THAT WOULDN'T TAKE AT LEAST A DAY OR TWO TO WHIP UP.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, SPUDINSKY?

YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH THAT STACEY GIRL, HUH?

ANY IDEA WHERE WE COULD FIND HER?

Jake: YOU INVENTED THIS THING TO TRACK STACEY'S EVERY MOVE?

GEESH. EVEN I'M NOT THIS WEIRD ABOUT GIRLS.

ACCORDING TO THE GEO STACEYTRACKER 3.0,

SHE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE.

LET'S PICK UP THE PACE, LADIES.

I'M MISSING SOME SERIOUS BEAUTY SLEEP HERE.

TRIX?

MINIONS, SEIZE THEM!

UH...UH-OH.

WHOA!

EURYALE, DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

HELP ME.

OK.

BUT FOR THE RECORD, NOBODY LIKES A BOSSY BECKY.

AT LAST.

OUR SISTER.

[GROANS] THAT ROCK MADE MY SKIN SO DRY.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DON'T LIVE HERE.

OR YOU COULD TRY SAYING THANK YOU.

EURYALE, MEDUSA, TAKE MY HANDS.

SORRY, SISTERS.

IT'S TIME TO BREAK UP THIS LITTLE FAMILY REUNION.

OK, SPUD, IT'S ALL YOU.

HEY THERE, GORGONS.

NO. IT CAN'T BE.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE WARRIOR WHO IMPRISONED US.

NOW TASTE YOUR OWN REFLECTIONS.

UM, I FEEL LIKE THAT COULD HAVE GONE BETTER.

YOU, MINION, FINISH HIM.

TRIX? WHOA!

TRIXIE?

TRIXIE, THANKS.

WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TRIXIE, NO!

IT'S ME. SPUD!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, MINION?

WILL YOU FINISH HIM ALREADY?

WHO DO YOU HANG OUT WITH AFTER SCHOOL EVERY DAY

WATCHING MR. PIGGY'S PLAYHOUSE?

ME. SPUD.

SPUDINSKY.

YOUR FRIEND.

SP-SPUD?

AAH!

MY SPELL. SHE BROKE MY SPELL.

THAT'S RIGHT, FURY. AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK

A WHOLE LOT OF SOMETHING ELSE.

NOBODY DEFIES ME.

I AM FURY, RULER OF ALL.

UH, EXCUSE ME. WE RULE TOGETHER.

YEAH. WHO DIED AND MADE YOU QUEEN?

MAN, THOSE GORGONS BICKER WORSE THAN THE CHEER--

HOLD UP.

I GOT AN IDEA.

HEY, FURY, DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE MORE POWERFUL THAN MEDUSA?

'CAUSE IF YOU ASK ME, SHE DESERVES TO RULE, NOT YOU.

YOU SAID YOU WERE MORE POWERFUL?

PLEASE. LIKE YOU COULD EVER RULE WITHOUT ME.

WELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS MEDUSA.

BUT WHAT THE HECK IS A FURY?

AND SINCE ONLY ONE OF YOU CAN REALLY BE HANDLING THINGS,

WHY SHOULDN'T IT BE HER?

WELL, GIRLFRIEND'S GOT A POINT.

BUT I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT OF THE GORGON SISTERS.

UM, REALITY CHECK, SWEETIE.

WE'RE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOU ARE.

I'M THE RULER.

HELLO. I AM.

I AM.

TRIX, IT WORKED.

Both: AAH!

LIKE, ARE WE IN THE HUDSON RIVER?

I THINK WE WERE SLEEPWALKING TOGETHER.

SO YOU'VE HUNG UP YOUR CHEER OUTFIT FOR GOOD, HUH?

YEAH. TURNS OUT BEING ONE OF THE GIRLS

WASN'T ALL THAT AFTER ALL.

DITTO WITH MY SPARTACUS UNIFORM.

THE WHOLE THING JUST REEKS OF DESPERATION.

DESPERATION AND B.O.

THANKS FOR HANGING WITH ME, GUYS.

ESPECIALLY AFTER I KIND OF ACTED BRAND-NEW.

OH, COME ON.

FRIENDS DON'T GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER THAT EASY.

PLUS YOU KIND OF SAVED OUR LIVES IN A MAJORLY DRAMATIC FASHION.

FROM NOW ON, ME AND SPUD ARE GONNA BE THERE FOR YOU,

EVEN TO TALK ABOUT THE GIRL STUFF.

OOH! OH, LOOK.

ISN'T HE...KYLE WILKINS...

SPREAD ON FINE LIKE CHEESE AND...

UH, SAVE IT FOR THE LADIES, JAKEY.

THANK YOU.

IF YOU COULD BE BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DARK SIDE,

MAYBE THERE'S HOPE FOR MY PRECIOUS STACEY, TOO.

OH, EXCUSE ME. I--

EWW. IT TOUCHED ME. AGAIN!

AAH!

OH, YEAH. SHE DIGS ME.

YOU HAVE NEW MESSAGE.

HELLO, MOTHER. IT'S YOUR FAVORITE SON.

YOU KNOW. HANS. ANYWAY, LISTEN.

I'M IN JAIL AGAIN.

BUT NOT FOR MISTAKING A STUDENT FOR A DRAGON

AND LOCKING HIM IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK LIKE LAST TIME.

NO. I KNOCKED OVER A PRICELESS STATUE

AT THE COSMOPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART.

ANYWAY, I NEED YOU TO WIRE ME THE BAIL MONEY QUICKLY.

[PANTING] MY CELLMATE CALLS HIMSELF "BEEF"

AND TAKES MUCH PLEASURE IN SHOWING ME HIS MANY TATTOOS.

AUF WIEDERSEHEN. [BEEP]