Original subtitles

3 STRAIGHT NIGHTS OF BUZZING, BLASTING, BLINKING, BLAZMATAZ!

IF HEAVEN IS ANYTHING LIKE A VIDEO GAME CONVENTION,

I'M PREPARED TO BE A VERY, VERY GOOD BOY TO GET THERE.

PLASTIC BAG? FOR FREE?

OH, JAKE, THIS IS HEAVEN!

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MISSIN' IT.

HEY, THAT'S GREAT.

WHY DON'T YOU REMIND ME HOW MUCH FUN YOU'RE HAVING

WHILE I'M HERE PAINTING SELF PORTRAITS WITH MY TOES.

STUPID SCHOOL-NIGHT- NO-GOING-OUT RULES.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I CAN'T BELIEVE.

THAT I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS WEARING THIS KAMIKAI BIG HAND

KUNG FU 3 COSTUME.

I THOUGHT WE WERE BOTH GONNA DRESS UP.

I TOLD YOU IT'S A TEAM COSTUME.

I'M THE KAMIKAI PLAYER.

WELL, YOU CAN SWITCH IT TO SOLO MODE, PLAYA.

I'M NOT STICKIN' STAND AROUND HERE

DRESSED LIKE SOME KIND OF BRIDE OF FREAKENSTEIN.

NICE KAMIKAI COSTUME!

MMM-MMM-MMM.

THIS REALLY IS HEAVEN.

OH, UH, SORRY FOR RUBBING IT IN, JAKEY.

HAVE FUN WITH THAT TOE THING.

YO, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

Spud: UH, CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?

ALL THE FUN MAKES IT PRETTY HARD TO HEAR.

JUST SAVE ME A SPOT IN THE GAME TESTING LINE.

I'M ON MY WAY.

WELL, MOST OF ME ANYWAY.

YES, A PERFECT CHI DOPPELGANGER COPY.

GIVE IT UP FOR DRAGON POWERS.

DRAGON UP!

JUST LIE DOWN AND PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP.

I'LL BE HOME AT-- [KNOCKING]

Haley: JAKE, CAN I COME IN?

I NEED THE GLUE FOR AN ART PROJECT.

IT'S, UH, NOT IN HERE.

MOM SAYS IT'S IN YOUR CLOSET.

COME ON, JAKE! MY TOOTHPICK TAJ MAHAL IS ALREADY CRUMBLING.

YO, HALEY, CAN'T YOU SEE THE DOOR'S LOCKED?

THAT'S OK. I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PICK THIS LOCK AGES AGO.

WHAT? NO, NO! HEY!

WHY'S THE WINDOW OPEN?

IS THERE A FIRE OR TROUBLE OUTSIDE?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING, JAKE?

I, UH, IT'S--

YES, JAKE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

GETTING SOME... MORE GLUE?

HEH HEH.

¶ HE'S COOL ¶

¶ HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ¶

¶ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL ¶

¶ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ REAL LIVE WIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY WILL WALK UP SHEETS ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR FROM THE N.Y.C. ¶

YA HEARD!

IF DISAPPOINTMENT WERE DONUTS,

I WOULD BE DROWNING IN POWERED SUGAR RIGHT NOW, MISTER.

IF WE CAN'T TRUST YOU NOT TO SNEAK OUT,

THEN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND OTHER WAYS TO KEEP YOU SAFE.

LIKE THIS GROUND-O-MATIC TERRIBLE TEEN SECURITY SYSTEM.

WINDOW AND DOOR ALARMS, MOTION SENSOR,

A SIREN LIKE A FIRE TRUCK

DRIVING STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR EARDRUMS.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THOSE ROTTEN APPLES,

SIR SNEAKS-A-LOT OUT... A LOT?

I--

THAT'S RIGHT.

I DON'T THINK ANY OF US HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO SAY EXCEPT--

[BEEP BEEP] [LOW HUM]

DON'T YOU THINK DAD'S GOING A LITTLE OVERBOARD ON THIS?

I MEAN, WHAT IF I GOT DRAGON BUSINESS LATE AT NIGHT?

THEN YOUR GRANDFATHER WILL CALL ME,

AND I'LL TURN OFF THE SYSTEM.

BUT MOM-- I'M SORRY, JAKE.

BUT YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.

TEENAGER ESCAPING! [SPEAKING SPANISH]

WHOA!

JONATHAN!

WHOA!

[BEEP BEEP]

THANKS, HONEY.

I BROUGHT BACK THE GLUE.

WHAT? ARE YOU GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT?

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK IF I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE YOU'RE DOING IT.

SEE, THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT--

YES! I'M GIVING YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT.

OH, YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT THEN.

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I DESERVE IT ANYWAY.

OF COURSE NOT.

YOU'RE MISS GOODY TWO-SHOES WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING WRONG.

WHAT? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD THING?

POLLY PERFECT.

I NEVER SAID I WAS--

NELLY McNICE-NICE.

PLEASE STOP THAT.

PRINCESS KISS-UP. I ASKED YOU TO--

DEBBIE DO-GOOD. THAT'S NOT--

ST. PERFECTUS. I SAID--

LITTLE HALEY HALO. I'M--

STOP IT! I'M NOT ALWAYS A GOODY TWO-SHOES.

SOMETIMES I START TO THINK ABOUT MAYBE DOING SOMETHING

THAT'S NOT COMPLETELY GOOD.

OH, YEAH? LIKE WHAT?

OK. I'VE GOT ONE.

THERE'S THIS NEW TV SHOW I LIKE CALLED

POOKA POOKA FUN-FUN FARM.

IT'S ABOUT A WACKY PUPPET AND CRAZY SONGS.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN EDUCATIONAL. BUT IT'S SO, SO FUNNY.

DAD SAYS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH.

HE SAYS THE POOKA PUPPET IS TOO DARN CREEPY.

BUT I REALLY WANT TO WATCH IT ANYWAY.

DOES THAT MAKE ME A HORRIBLE PERSON?

HA HA HA! THAT'S IT?

I'VE GOT AT LEAST 6 PATENTED METHODS

OF WATCHING SHOWS MOM AND DAD HATE.

AND I'D BE HAPPY TO SHARE MY TECHNIQUE.

OH, I REALLY SHOULDN'T.

DAD SAID "NO." AND IT'S AGAINST MY NATURE TO GET IN TROUBLE.

I COULDN'T-- OH.

MY BAD. HERE, CAN I SHINE UP THOSE GOODY TWO-SHOES FOR YOU?

BRING ON THE POOKA.

EXCELLENT.

I'M THINKIN' WE'LL GO WITH PATENTED METHOD NUMBER 4.

I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT SOME HELP CLEANING THE STORAGE CLOSET.

I'M SURE A LOT OF THINGS IN THERE COULD GO TO PEOPLE IN NEED.

OF COURSE, MY LITTLE BUNDLE OF ALL THAT IS SWEET AND GOOD.

JUST TRY NOT TO WORK TOO HARD, DEAR.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO STRAIN YOUR ANGEL WINGS.

THANKS, GRANDPA.

I LOVE YOU.

I TELL YA. THAT LITTLE GIRLIE GIRL CAN DO NO WRONG.

TOO LATE, POOKA POOKA!

I'M TURNING YOUR FARM INTO A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL STADIUM.

HA HA HA!

OH, YOU LIKE BASEBALL?

HA HA HA. WELL, HERE'S THE WIND UP.

WHOA!

HEE HEE HEE.

AND HERE'S THE PITCH.

1, 2, 3, 4.

¶ MOOKA MOOKA NA-GO-NA ¶

¶ WAKI WAKI CHICK SA DO ¶

¶ SASHI SASHI BA-GO-BA ¶

¶ DO-GA POOKA'S ROCK AND ROLL ¶

WHOA!

HA HA HA!

POOKA POOKA!

[CRASH]

Jake: HAVE FUN? AAH!

I DID IT. IT WAS ME.

WHY ARE YOU SNEAKING INTO YOUR OWN HOUSE?

IT MAKES YOU LOOK GUILTY.

OF COURSE I LOOK GUILTY. I AM GUILTY.

I BROKE A RULE.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE I COULD GET IN?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

EASY THERE, PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE.

IF I KNEW HOW BAD YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE IT.

BAD? ARE YOU JOKING?

I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!

HUH? MORE!

I HAVE TO HAVE MORE!

MORE DANGER, MORE RULE-BREAKING!

I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST TAKE ME ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

YEAH...I DON'T KNOW IF...

HEY, YOU, UH, WOULDN'T HAVE ANY IDEAS ON GETTING PAST

THE TERRIBLE TEEN SECURITY SYSTEM WOULD YOU?

THAT ALARM REMOTE IS SO COOL, DAD.

CAN I STUDY ITS INTERNAL WIRING TONIGHT?

I'M THINKING OF TAKING A COURSE IN SOLID STATE CIRCUITRY.

OH, SURE THING, PUMPKIN.

ANYTHING FOR MY RESPONSIBLE

AND TRUSTWORTHY LITTLE GIRL.

Haley: TERRIBLE TEEN MAIN SYSTEM SHUT OFF ACTIVATED.

I AM DEFINITELY LIKING THE NEW HALEY.

WHOA, WAIT. NOBODY SAID WE'RE DOING THE COSTUME THING AGAIN TONIGHT.

I DIDN'T BRING MY GAME PAD.

I'M COSTUME NAKED!

IT AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO DO WITH YOU, BOY.

AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HELPING

MY SUPER FINE KAMIKAI BOY RECOGNIZE ME.

GREETINGS. WOULD MY LADY CARE TO DANCE, DANCE PARTY BLAST?

WHY, YES, YOUR LADY WOULD.

WHAT UP, BUD?

J-MAN, YOU MADE IT, BUDDY.

YEAH, I GOT SOME HELP FROM--

AAH! TATTLE-TALE POLICE! RUN, JAKE. I'LL DISTRACT HER.

HEY--HEY, LOOK, I'M A HUMAN PETTING ZOO.

[IMITATING GOAT] I'M AN OLD GOAT.

[IMITATING PIG] I'M A BABY PIGGY.

AHH, SOMEONE SCRATCH ME.

IT'S OK, SPUD. HALEY'S WITH ME.

SHE'S COOL NOW.

OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE, MAY I RECOMMEND

TRYING TO SCORE A FREE PLASTIC TOTE BAG?

SURE TO BECOME A VALUABLE COLLECTOR'S ITEM.

ISN'T THAT JUST FOR HOLDING

ALL THE OTHER FREE STUFF THEY GIVE AWAY?

AHH, FLYING DISKS, YO-YOS,

GLOW ERASERS, LICORICE JOY STICKS--

SO MUCH, SO FREE.

IT'S LIKE HEAVEN GOT A BONUS LEVEL. [LAUGHING]

WELL, LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST--

[SQUEALING] POOKA POOKA!

HEE HEE HEE! POOKA POOKA POOKA!

UH, OK, SO WE'LL JUST MEET BACK AT THE HOUSE AT MIDNIGHT!

[DING] [DING] [DING]

OWW!

POOKA POOKA!

[SQUEALING AND LAUGHING]

[SIGHS]

SHOOT, I GOTTA GO!

YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.

BUT ONCE THE KAMIKAI COSTUME COMES ON,

IT'S LIKE HALF AN HOUR OF ZIPPER TIME

BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN THINK ABOUT--

NO, I MEAN, I GOTTA GO HOME.

I'M WAY PAST MY CURFEW.

WELL, CAN I SEE YOU SOME OTHER TIME?

I REALLY GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW.

HUH?

THAT WAS AWESOME!

WHERE WERE YOU? I SAID MIDNIGHT.

HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW COOL IT WAS TO WALK ON THE WILD SIDE?

WHATEVER. LET'S JUST GET INSIDE--

I BLEW A WHOLE MONTH OF ALLOWANCE ON POOKA POOKA STUFF.

THEY EVEN HAD A DVD. THAT'S GREAT, BUT--

AND WHAT A RUSH SHOVING THOSE OTHER KIDS OUT OF THE WAY

TO CUT IN THE POOKA KARAOKE LINE.

I'M SURE IT WAS VERY--

AND, OF COURSE, IT WAS PRETTY EXCITING

WHEN I ROBBED GRANDPA'S SHOP ON THE WAY HOME.

YEAH, THAT'S-- WAIT. YOU WHAT?

OH, DON'T BE SUCH A GOODY TWO-SHOES, JAKE.

NOBODY SAW ME.

[ALARM RINGING]

[MUMBLING]

COME ON, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

BUT--WH-WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

PORTABLE DVD PLAYER. DUH!

GOTTA WATCH MY POOKA POOKA.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ON ME RIGHT?

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE AN EXTREMELY BAD IDEA.

OK, GOOD NIGHT.

AHH, MAN.

Jonathan: JAKE-A-RULE, HALEY-BALEY,

SHAKE YOUR LEGSIES FOR BACON AND EGGSIES.

COOL. I'M STARVING FROM, UH,

A FOOL NIGHT OF THINKING ABOUT MY ACTIONS.

OK, NOW, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, MISTER.

HALEY!

OK, I'M COMING ALREADY!

WHAT?

UM...PUMPKIN.

UH...THERE WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE A SECOND

BONUS APRIL FOOL'S DAY THIS YEAR IS THERE?

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, DAD? UGH!

COOKED ANIMALS AND MUSH. YUM.

IS SOMETHING WRONG, HONEY?

JAKE, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

UH...

THAT REMINDS ME, I'M WORKING ON ANOTHER ART PROJECT.

IT'S AN OATMEAL PAINTING.

I CALL IT, THE BOY WHO TALKED TOO MUCH.

LOOK FAMILIAR?

AND THIS IS WHERE THE MEAT HAMMER GOES.

HYAH!

OHH!

A LITTLE GRUESOME, DON'T YOU THINK, SWEETIE?

VERY CREATIVE USE OF RAISINS THOUGH.

WHATEVER! I'M OUT.

WITHOUT YOUR BREAKFAST?

I'LL PICK UP AN ENERGY DRINK AND SOME PORK RINDS

ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL. JUST BUTT OUT! UGH!

I TOOK HER TOO FAR TOO FAST.

AND NOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BRING HER BACK.

IF I TELL MY PARENTS, I'LL NEVER LEAVE MY ROOM AGAIN.

YOU KNOW WHAT ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP?

THE SPACEDOG ARMADA NOVELTY SLIDE WHISTLE.

[WHISTLES]

IT MAKES CIRCUS MUSIC.

YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT TROUBLE, I DIDN'T EVEN GET THAT BOYS NAME.

ALL I HAVE TO REMEMBER HIM BY IS THIS KAMIKAI BIG HAND GLOVE.

THERE'S STILL ONE NIGHT OF VIDGAME CON LEFT.

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST LOOK FOR THE GUY IN THE KAMIKAI COSTUME?

YOU THINK HE'D WEAR THAT THING WITHOUT THE BIG HAND?

BOY, PLEASE, MY MAN KEEPS HIS KAMIKAI RI-ZZEAL.

HE'S LIKE A KYLE WILKINS WITH A SIZZLIN' DOUBLE SCOOP OF MYSTERY AND EXCITEMENT.

COME ON! GIVE ME THE GOOD STUFF!

[BANGING]

AAH!

WHAT THE? HALEY?

GRR!

[GRUNTING]

HMM.

FREE NUTTERFUDGE BARS!

WANT ONE?

YOU CAN'T JUST...

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSE TO BE IN IN SCHOOL?

AREN'T YOU?

HUH?

[BELL RINGS]

BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS, JAKE.

DRAGON UP!

WHOO-HOO!

[ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY]

Jake: DRAGON UP!

GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHOPLIFTING PUNK!

COOL! SOMETHING TO WASH DOWN THE NUTTERFUDGE.

5 CLAW DISCOUNT.

HALEY, YOU'RE KIND OF GOING OVERBOARD

WITH THIS BREAKING THE RULES THING.

TALK TO THE CAN, JOHNNY NO FUN.

HEY, THAT'S--PBBLTH.

[HUMMING]

[NEIGHS]

Jake: I'M NOT PLAYING HERE, HALEY!

[GASPS]

[IMITATING MAN] HELLO, SCHOOL NURSE?

THIS IS HALEY LONG'S DOCTOR.

SHE'S VERY SICK WITH A BOOGER INFECTION

AND CAN'T COME TO SCHOOL FOR AT LEAST 2--

HEY! GAME OVER.

I'M TAKING YOU HOME.

YOU'RE NOT THE DRAGON MASTER OF ME.

OH, YOU DO NOT WANT TO ESCALATE.

Both: DRAGON UP!

[FIGHTING SOUNDS]

[BEEPING]

OOH! POOKA POOKA TIME!

POOKA POOKA!

HUH?

HELLO?

Pooka: MY PRIZED POSIES.

POOKA POOKA!

[HALEY LAUGHS]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH, POOKA CHA-CHA?

DON'T WORRY, PRINCESS.

MOM AND DAD AREN'T HOME.

COME ON AND WATCH WITH ME.

IT'S AN ALL-NEW EPISODE TODAY.

UH-- [TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

JAKE, HAVE YOU SEEN HALEY?

IT'S SO OFF HER LIFE PATH TO BE LATE FOR DRAGON TRAINING.

UH, HALEY'S NOT REALLY HERSELF RIGHT NOW.

JAKE!

I'M TRYING TO WATCH POOKA POOKA!

HA HA HA! I KNOW WHAT...

WAS THAT HALEY?

CAN I SPEAK WITH HER?

¶ 3, 4 ¶

WHAT'S THAT?

[SINGING]

WAIT. THAT'S SINGING.

IT'S JUST HALEY'S DUMB TV SHOW.

SHH. I'M LISTENING.

[SINGING CONTINUES]

GET HALEY AWAY FROM THE TELEVISION.

NOW!

AW, MAN.

¶ WELL, TACK TACK TACKLIN' ¶

¶ COVERED IN MUD ¶

¶ HEY THERE, POOKAPANTS, GIVE ME SOME LOVE ¶

I WAS REALLY HOPING I WASN'T RIGHT.

WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

THAT'S NO PUPPET.

HE'S A REAL POOKA--

A POWERFUL, MAGICAL CREATURE SKILLED IN ENCHANTMENTS.

AND THOSE SONGS OF HIS ARE MIND-CONTROL SPELLS.

MIND CONTROL?

BUT YOU AND ME JUST--

WE JUST GOT ONE SMALL DOSE.

WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH HALEY'S BEEN GETTING.

AND EVERY OTHER POOKA POOKA FAN OUT THERE.

THERE COULD BE THOUSANDS UNDER HIS SPELL.

THE POOKA THRIVES ON MAYHEM AND CHAOS.

WE GOTTA TELL GRAMPS.

THERE'S GOTTA BE A POTION OR SOMETHING

TO SWITCH THOSE KIDS BACK TO NORMAL.

THERE'S NO TIME.

IF HALEY'S GONE, THEN THE POOKA MUST ALREADY

BE GATHERING HIS HOODLUM TROOPS.

WE HAVE TO FIND THEM NOW!

COULDN'T BE THAT HARD.

HOW COULD YOU NOT SPOT A FURRY PUPPET DUDE

ROUNDING UP A HUGE CROWD OF KIDS?

UNLESS THERE ALREADY WAS A HUGE CROWD OF KIDS.

COME ON!

[LAUGHTER]

All: POOKA POOKA RULES!

Jake: IN HERE.

ANY SIGN OF THEM?

NO, I CAN'T SEE ANY--

Trixie: TRY IT ON!

I HAVE TO FIND MY MAN.

IF THE BIG HAND FITS, YOU MUST BE IT.

EW, NO!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF STANK IS IN THERE.

TRY IT ON!

OK, IT AIN'T YOU.

YOU THEN. OR YOU. OR YOU.

TRIX, HALEY'S BEEN TAKEN BY SOME LITTLE PUPPET DUDE,

AND WE CAN'T FIND HER OR HIM ANYWHERE.

[GRUNTING]

I MAY BE REACHING,

BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT FURRY LITTLE GUY OVER THERE?

¶ WAKI WAKI CHICK SA DO ¶

¶ SASHI SASHI BA-GO-BA ¶

¶ DO-GA POOKA'S ROCK AND ROLL ¶

[CHEERING]

Haley: POOKA POOKA POOKA!

Jake: COME ON.

YEP, I'M...

[GRUNTING] SLOWLY

COMING.

DRAGONS! [GASPS]

Pooka: FASTER, GANG.

LET'S TAKE THIS POOKA PARTY DOWNSTAIRS!

EXCUSE ME. COMING THROUGH.

INTO THE TRAINS.

LET'S GO POOKA-WILD ON THIS CITY. HA HA HA!

YOU GET THE POOKA,

AND I'LL USE MY MEDITATION TRAINING

TO CALM THE CROWD.

OK, PEOPLE.

BREATHE IN THE LIGHT

AND OUT THE EVIL PUPPET MAN.

WE MADE IT!

[BEEP]

POOKA, ON THE LOOSE-A.

AAH! Jake: NOT QUITE.

END OF THE LINE, FUZZBALL.

ISN'T THIS A PRECARIOUS SITUATION.

Haley: I'LL PROTECT YOU, MASTER.

HALEY, NO! NO!

DRAGON UP!

AAH!

SO I'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL POOKA FAN, DO I?

HMM.

CLEAR YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE.

BREAK THE SPELL.

VIOLENCE IS THE PATH OF THE WEAK AND COWARDLY.

Boy: OH, FORGET YOU!

Girl: GET HER! GET OUT OF THE WAY!

[ALL SHOUTING]

COME ON, SISTER.

GO WEAK AND COWARDLY ON THEIR BEHINDS ALREADY.

UHH!

[GRUNTING]

STOP! STOP!

SORRY, POOKA PALS,

BUT ONE DRAGON IS WORTH 1,000 OF YOU LOSERS.

HA HA HA!

TA TEE TA TA!

HALEY! JAKEY!

[ALL CRYING]

HEY, I MADE IT.

Jake: UHH! Haley: STOP!

HA HA HA!

POOKA PAIN! POOKA POKE!

TAKE THAT POOKA HATER DOWN!

THEN WE CAN GO RAISE SOME MAYHEM DRAGON STYLE!

UHH!

GIVE IT UP, HALEY.

I'M BIGGER, STRONGER, AND BEEN DOING THIS LONGER.

AAH!

YEAH? WELL, I CHEAT.

HA! MISSED ME! MISSED ME! NOW YOU GOTTA--

HYAH!

WHOA!

[SUBWAY WHISTLE BLOWS]

OH!

HALEY, HANG ON!

Girl: WHERE ARE WE?

THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM.

THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN GET ALL THESE KIDS FOCUSED ON ONE THING.

THERE IS ONE WAY,

BUT IT REQUIRES A SACRIFICE

ALMOST TOO HORRIBLE TO CONTEMPLATE.

WELL, GET ON WITH THE SACRIFICE, BOY!

OH, ALL RIGHT.

HEY! WHO LIKES FREE VIDEO GAME RELATED PROMOTIONAL TOYS?

[CRYING STOPS]

[ALL CHEERING]

THAT'S IT. ONE AT A TIME.

OFF YOU GO UP THE STAIRS, LITTLE KIPPER.

REALLY? YOU'RE IN A BAND, TOO?

WELL, ACTUALLY I JUST PLAY THE TAMBOURINE

AND SMILE A LOT, BUT--

WHOA!

UHH! UHH!

COME ON, FIGHT LIKE A POOKA.

GO FOR THE CHEAP SHOT!

UNH!

WHO'S THE BIG, STRONG DRAGON NOW,

HUH, JAKE?

FINISH HIM. POOKA COMMANDS YOU.

¶ MIKSHAKA-KALA FEELA RISTS... ¶

COME ON, HALEY, YOU CAN FIGHT HIS BRAINWASHING.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE DEEP DOWN.

I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!

YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.

THEN I GUESS YOU WON'T MIND IF I DO THIS.

[BEEP, DIALING]

HEY, MOM. JAKE.

YEAH, I JUST CALLED TO TELL YOU THAT ME AND HALEY

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE TO GO TO VIDGAME CON...TWICE.

Mom: WHAT?! NO!

YOU ARE BOTH... NO!

YOU TOLD ON ME?

UH, WHAT DO YOU CARE?

WE'RE POOKA PEOPLE.

WE'RE ALL ABOUT THE FUN.

OH, AND HALEY SAYS TO TELL DAD

SHE'S BEEN WATCHING THAT PUPPET SHOW HE HATES.

Dad: NOW, YOU KNOW HOW I HATE THAT CREEPY PUPPET.

YOU GET HOME RIGHT AWAY.

THAT IS A BUNCH OF BRAINWASHING.

HOO HOO! COME HOME RIGHT NOW!

SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE IN PRETTY BIG TROUBLE.

TROUBLE?

I CAN'T GET IN TROUBLE.

IT'S AGAINST MY NATURE!

THIS IS... THIS IS...

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

YOU MADE ME DO ALL THIS!

YOU WANT FIRST CRACK AT HIM?

Haley: HYAH!

[CHEERING]

YO, SPUD.

CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE UP ALL THE FREE GOODIES.

ALL POSSESSIONS ARE FLEETING,

BUT A GOOD DEED IS ETERNAL.

DANG! I WAS JUST GONNA SAY SOMETIMES LIFE'S A PUNK LIKE THAT,

BUT YOURS WAS WAY MORE POETIC.

HEY, HEY! IT'S MY KAMIKAI GIRLFRIEND.

OH, AND YOU FOUND MY BIG HAND GLOVE.

UH, WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, SHORT STUFF?

OH, YEAH.

THAT'S THE CUSTOM FIT.

OH, NO. PUMP THEM BRAKES.

YOU ARE NOT MY KAMIKAI MAN.

YOU'RE LIKE 6 YEARS YOUNGER

AND UMPTEEN INCHES SHORTER.

HEH HEH HEH. YEAH, YOU'D BE AMAZED

WHAT PLATFORM BOOTS AND FOAM MUSCLES CAN DO.

YOU WANNA GO DANCE AGAIN?

OR WE COULD JUST KISS OR SOMETHING.

AW, MAN.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A KYLE WILKINS

OF MYSTERY AND EXCITEMENT.

YOU KNOW MY BIG BROTHER KYLE?

HOW COOL!

I'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM WE'RE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.

UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

OH, NO!

SORRY I WENT HOSTILE ON YOU.

NAH, IT'S MY FAULT.

IF I HADN'T TEASED YOU INTO BREAKING THE RULES,

YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN HOOKED ON THAT SHOW

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I GUESS MAYBE BEING A GOODY TWO-SHOES

ISN'T SUCH A BAD THING.

IT WAS KIND OF FUN HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

GOOD. 'CAUSE I GOT A FEELING

WE'RE GONNA BE SPENDING A WHOLE LOT

OF TIME AT HOME TOGETHER.

[BEEP]

Mom: YOU ARE BOTH GROUNDED.

GROUNDED! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Dad: THAT IS RIGHT. YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE MY HOUSE AGAIN.

AW, MAN. AW, MAN.

...SO HELP ME, LITTLE MISTER AND MISSY,

YOU ARE STAYING HERE IF I HAVE TO BOLT YOU TO THE FLOOR.

Haley: WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU

THAT POOKA POOKA FUN-FUN FARM

HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY CANCELLED.

INSTEAD, ENJOY THIS EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM

THAT WILL STIMULATE YOUR MIND

AND MAKE YOU A MORE SELF-ACTUALIZED YOUNG PERSON.

LUDWIG VON BEETHOVEN.

THE WATER CYCLE.

THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM.

OK, EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS IS BORING.

LET'S WATCH BELCHING MONKEYS.

[ALL BELCHING]

OH, YEAH. NOW THAT'S GOOD TV.