Original subtitles

? HE'S COOL, HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ?

? HE'S YOUNG AND FAST, HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ?

? PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ?

? HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ?

? HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ?

? DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL, BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ?

? REAL LIVE WIRE ?

? AMERICAN DRAGON ?

DRAGON UP!

? AMERICAN DRAGON ?

OH, OH, OH, WHOA!

? HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ?

? BREAK IT DOWN WITH THE DRAGON ?

? SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ?

? WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ?

? HIS DESTINY WILL WALK UP SHEETS ?

? IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ?

? AMERICAN DRAGON ?

? FROM THE "J" TO THE "A" ?

? TO THE "K" TO THE "E" ?

? I'M THE MACKDADDY DRAGON OF THE N.Y.C. ?

YA HEARD!

JAKE, GET BACK TO WORK!

AW, MAN!

[BEAT-BOXING]

[THUMPING AND CRASHING]

[ECHOING] EAR OF THE DRAGON.

[GLASS BREAKS]

HI, JAKE. CAN I BRING YOUR PRIVATE JOURNAL

TO SHOW AND TELL TOMORROW?

WHAT?! NO!

GET OUT OF HERE!

I PROMISE NOT TO READ THE SECTION

OR ALL THOSE LOVE SONGS YOU WROTE FOR THAT--THAT--

THAT ROSE GIRL.

WAAH!

Jake: THAT ISN'T GONNA WORK, HALEY.

WAAH!

I'M IGNORING YOU.

BUT I'M SO SA-A-D!

I DON'T CA-A-RE.

WAAH!

[SIGHS] OK. LET'S HEAR IT.

EVERY SHOW AND TELL, OLIVIA MEERS BRINGS IN HER CAT.

SO? HER RARE, AWARD-WINNING CAT, MISS TINKLES.

OLIVIA ENDS UP GETTING ALL THE ATTENTION EVERY TIME,

THE SWEET, SWEET ATTENTION

WE BOTH KNOW TO BE RIGHTFULLY MINE.

WELL, YOU GOTTA STEP YOUR GAME UP, HALEY.

YOU NEED TO SHOW-AND-TELL SOMETHING

THAT WILL BLOW THAT FANCY CAT OF HERS

RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER!

I KNOW, BUT WHAT'S BETTER THAN A KITTY?

I AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TO GET POKED,

DROOLED ON, AND MISSCRATCHED

BY A BUNCH OF SNOTNOSED KIDS.

FORGET ABOUT IT!

COME ON, FU. HALEY NEEDS YOU.

SORRY, SWEETHEART. ASK ME ANYTHING ELSE,

THAT WILL GET ME TO BE SHOWN-AND-TELLED AT YOUR SCHOOL.

TOMORROW IS SLOPPY JOE DAY.

UH, UH, D-DID YOU SAY SLOPPY JOES?

WE TALKIN' ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT? ALWAYS.

MEAT-TO-BEAN RATIO? 3-TO-1, AT LEAST.

DEAL.

HEY, KID, HUH?

WHOO. CAN YOU PULL THIS THING OVER?

'CAUSE I THINK I'M--OHH--GONNA BE CRATESICK.

SHH! NO TALKING!

AND YOU HAVE TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR TODAY.

HEY, IT'S ME. I MEAN,

YEAH, SURE, YOU KNOW, BOW-WOOF.

SURE, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.

THANKS, FU DOG.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO GREAT!

OH, YEAH, THIS IS THE TOPS.

600 YEARS OLD, AND I'M ABOUT TO ENDURE

MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. OY.

LOOK! HALEY BROUGHT A DOG!

COOL! LET'S GIVE HER ATTENTION!

OOH, WHAT'S HIS NAME?

FU DOG. All: OHH! GOOD DOGGIE.

HEE HEE HEE! HIS WRINKLES LOOK ALL FUNNY!

YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU FUNNY.

AND HOW COME HIS REAR END IS SO FAT?

FAT? HOW'D YOU LIKE A FAT LIP?

THAT'S ALL MUSCLE, SWEETHEART.

AND DON'T YOU--I, UH--

UH, WOOF!

YEAH. WOOF. WOOFITY-WOOF.

HALEY, YOUR DOG'S BARK SOUNDS KIND OF WEIRD.

UM, HE'S A SHAR-PEI.

HE BARKS IN CHINESE.

HELLO, CHILDREN.

PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.

WE'LL BEGIN BY TAKING ROLL.

THEN WE'LL REVIEW LAST NIGHT'S ASSIGNMENT.

HERE. DOG, EAT MY SPELLING HOMEWORK.

I DIDN'T FINISH IT.

YEAH, SURE THING, KID.

TASTES LIKE ABOUT A B-MINUS.

EXCUSE ME, MS. MAGUIRE. SORRY I'M LATE.

MY CAT'S MANICURE APPOINTMENT RAN A LITTLE LATE.

I SEE SOMEONE BROUGHT IN A STUPID DOG.

STILL CAN'T COMPETE WITH MISS TINKLES.

I OWN SHOW AND TELL.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

[GASPS] YUEN-YUEN.

WELL, WELL, WELL. FU DOG.

BEEN A LONG TIME.

[HISSES AND YOWLS]

HAND OVER THE ENCHANTED COIN, FU DOG!

FAT CHANCE, YUEN-YUEN.

THIS OPEN NICKEL WAS MY DAD'S LUCKY COIN

AND HIS DAD'S LUCKY COIN

AND HIS DAD'S DAD'S LUCKY COIN

AND HIS DAD'S DAD'S DAD'S--

AH, WELL, YOU GET THE IDEA.

HY-AH!

[YOWLS]

WHOA!

OHH!

[YOWLS]

IT SHALL BE MINE!

OFF MY DAD'S DAD'S DAD'S DAD'S LUCKY COIN!

OHH, OHH! AAH!

MEOW.

CATS. HOW DO THEY DO THAT?

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, POOCH.

[CREAKS] AAH!

SO, WE MEET AGAIN.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

369 YEARS. BUT WHO'S COUNTIN'?

ARE YOU PREPARED TO DANCE THE SWEET TANGO OF COMBAT?

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

ENOUGH SMALL TALK, KITTEN.

LET'S TALK WITH OUR PAWS.

DAHH!

HY-AH!

YAH!

WHOA!

HEY!

[YOWLING AND BARKING]

[PANTING]

IT'S MY COIN, YUEN-YUEN.

NOT FOR LONG, FU DOG.

MEOW!

HUH?

[YOWLS]

HAVE A NICE FLIGHT, FU.

A-A-H! AAH!

MEO-W-W-R!

UH, HERE GOES NOTHIN'.

YAAH!

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I MAKE A FEW ALTERATIONS

TO YOUR PARACHUTE.

HEY! WHAT THE--

HEY, THAT'S REALLY COOL! IT'S VERY ARTISTIC.

AW, BROTHER.

AAH! UNH!

SO LONG, FU DOG!

AH, THIS AIN'T OVER, YUEN-YUEN!

YOU HEARIN' ME?

AH--AAH! [THUD]

TO THIS DAY, I STILL CAN'T STAND THOSE PAPER DOLL THINGIES.

AND TO THIS DAY, I HAVE THE COIN.

OH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, SISTER.

Ms. Maguire: OK, CLASS,

WE'LL HAVE SHOW AND TELL RIGHT AFTER.

I'LL BRING YOU BACK THE SLO JOES.

BYE, MISS TINKLES.

[YOWLS]

OH, HEH HEH HEH.

THAT'S GRAND. YOU POSIN' AS SOME KID'S HOUSE CAT.

YOU GOT A LITTER BOX AND EVERYTHING?

AWARD-WINNING HOUSE CAT TO YOU.

PLUS I'M ROLLING IN CATNIP, LITERALLY.

YOU CAN KEEP THE CATNIP,

BUT THAT COIN IS MINE.

NOW, FORK IT OVER, BALDIE.

HMM, LET ME THINK.

OOH! WELL, YOU REALIZE THIS IS ABOUT TO TURN UGLY, HUH?

WHY, IS YOUR MOTHER COMING?

SO IT'S GONNA BE LIKE THAT?

WELL, YOUR MOTHER IS SO BALD, SHE--

[YOWLING AND HISSING]

WHOA--HEY-- CUT THE--

I LEARNED THIS NEXT MOVE AT THE KENNEL

IN THE XIAOLIN MONASTERY.

HYAH!

UHH!

I LEARNED THAT MOVE ON FLATBUSH AVENUE IN BROOKLYN.

[YOWLS]

[COUGHING]

EAT METAL, MUTT.

YAAH!

UNH!

SO, THIS IS HOW IT ENDS, FU DOG.

AWW, SWEETHEART, I'M JUST GETTIN' ROLLIN'.

[YOWLS]

GIVE ME THAT!

MEOW-W!

[PANTING] MEOW-W-W!

AAH!

[BOTH PANTING]

WE'RE CAUSIN' SOME REAL DAMAGE HERE.

DON'T WE ALWAYS?

[YOWLS] UNH!

[GASPS]

[HORN BLOWS]

UNH!

YAAH!

[YELLING]

W-W-W-W-...

OHH! WOW!

NOW I KNOW WHAT A VASE FEELS LIKE.

OH, IT'S-- OH, MY, IT'S--

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

A-PLUS!

WHEN I FIND THAT CAT,

I'M GONNA PUT THE "OW" IN "MEOW."

OH. BINGO!

HMM. NEEDS A LITTLE MORE SLOPPY.

Fu Dog: OH, YUEN-YUEN...

OH, I HATE TO WASTE A 3-TO-1 MEAT-TO-BEAN RATIO, BUT--

AHEM. HUNGRY?

OHH!

[CLANG CLANG]

YI-AHH! GIVE IT UP, FU DOG!

THERE IS NOPLACE YOU CAN HIDE THAT COIN

THAT I CANNOT FIND IT.

GUESS AGAIN, KITTEN.

NO!

[BURPS] I'LL, UH, RETRIEVE IT LATER.

[BELL RINGS]

SO LONG, YUEN-YUEN.

BETTER LUCK NEXT MILLENNIUM.

I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, FU DOG. MEOW-W-R!

WAA--KI--OHH--YAAH!

[PANTING]

[CHILDREN GASP]

Olivia: AAH!

CURSES!

I MEAN, MEOW.

SCHOOL IS JUST NO PLACE FOR A KITTY LIKE TINKLES.

YOU'LL HAVE TO SHOW-AND-TELL SOMETHING ELSE FROM NOW ON.

BUT--BUT...

[SIGHS] YES, MS. MAGUIRE.

SHALL DANCE THE SWEET TANGO OF BATTLE AGAIN.

YEAH, YEAH, HONEY, I'LL SEE YA IN A COUPLE HUNDRED YEARS MAYBE.

BRING YOUR DANCIN' SHOES. HEE HEE HEE!

[GROANS]

NOW, LET'S BEGIN SHOW AND TELL.

HALEY, WHY DON'T YOU START?

DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY?

EH, PROBABLY NOT.

IT WAS THE BEST SHOW AND TELL EVER.

THANKS, FU DOG.

BUT WE STILL GOTTA RENEGOTIATE OUR SLOPPY JOE DEAL.

ANYTHING TO, UH, YOU KNOW, HELP MOVE THINGS ALONG?

YOU TALKIN' ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT?

OF COURSE. MEAT-TO-BEAN RATIO?

I'M THINKIN' 6-1, AT LEAST.

5-1. 5 1/2.

DEAL. WHOO-HOO!

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