All language subtitles for How.To.Be.A.Latin.Lover.2017.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AG].en

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My Papa was the hardest
working person I ever met,

spending almost every day
of the year on the road.

Give it to me!

But, whenever he had time off,

he would race home to see us...

Maximo! Sara! Your father is here.

Even if he had
to drive all night.

Move!

I'm okay...

My Papa always said,
"You get what you work for,

"not what you wish for."

So much for hard work.

This is a nightmare.

I know it's horrible living here,
but we're still a family.

I don't need a family.

What I need is somewhere to live
that isn't an old wreck.

When I'm older, I'm going
to be an architect.

So I can build a
big house for us.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to sleep so I can be sleeping.

What are you going to do for work?

I'm going to be rich so
I don't have to work.

But Papa always said that you get what you
work for, not what you wish for.

And look what happened to him!

It's time to sleep, children.

We're already asleep.

Look...

This is who I'm going to be.

He didn't get that rich
without having a job.

I don't want his job.

I want hers.

Maximo.

Hi Maximo.

You'll like that, Maximo.

- Thank you.
- Thank you!

Talk to me, Rafa.

What's on the menu?

Take a look at lounge chair number three.

There's a hot one over there, super rich!

I see her, I see her.

She looks delicious.

Who is she?

Peggy Von Strauss.

Fifty-five, divorced...

- But she's loaded.
- Yeah?

Her family owns the biggest
supermarket chain in the United States.

She's perfect.

I think I'm making you wet.

You know, no I can't. I have my
helicopter lesson this weekend.

Spot!

Spill.

Shadow!

Finished.

Maximo!

There you are, my raindrop.

I was just, just on my way
to wake you

Do you know what day today is?

- Tuesday.
- No! It's Saturday.

- Close enough.
- Happy anniversary!

Yeah.

- Just what I needed.
- Really?

So different.

This one says 9:20,
this one doesn't.

I love it. Thank you, thank you.
I love it.

- I got you something too.
- Really?

Where is it?

We have...

to go...

pick it up.

- How exciting!
- I know!

- I'll be right back.
- Right.

Just one second.

I'm waiting for you.
I'm ready for you.

I'll be but a second, sweetie.

One second.

I'm here.

Happy anniversary!

Darling, what a sweet thought.

Get in. Get in!

I would, but with my knees I'm afraid
it's too close to the ground for me.

Okay, forget it.

We won't get it then.

I don't want my knees to
ruin our special day.

No, no, it's okay, it's okay.

Let's get in.
It could be your car too.

Yeah, I suppose that could work.

- We'll take this one.
- It's a fine choice.

You know the McLarens are like
snowflakes

and no two of them are the same.

Is that true?

Actually it doesn't, but...

I still think it's a lovely image
with the snowflake. Don't you think?

Are you the charmer?

Call it the romantic in me.

The guys in the floor calls me
the poet, these boneheads.

They like to make fun.

And what form of payment will
you be using today, sir?

Her.

Very good. I'll see if that's
an option in our system.

Are you se...
Another new car!

- Yep.
- How do you do, Mr. Maxwell?

Once you lower your expectations,
Timmy, the sky is the limit.

That's the most beautiful thing
I've heard in my entire life.

Four!

You don't mind if Max and I play
a few holes, do you?

Not at all.

As long as you play a few
holes with me later.

You are a naughty girl.

Here we are, a steak
and a salad.

Aha, mama likes
you slim and trim.

You want me
to feed you some meat.

I want it so bad.

This first bite is all fat.

- Hey buddy.
- Oye, brother.

Millicent.

You look radiant as always.

Have I ever told you
that you remind me of Senor Rojas?

He was my Spanish professor in college,

with whom I had a passionate affair...

Yes,
I think you mentioned it once or twice...

Or every time I see you.

- Let's hit the links.
- Yes!

Wanna grab a drink tonight?

Nope, sorry. No offense,
got me booked up.

Got a bleaching appointment.
You should try it some time.

I brush my teeth.

I'm not talking about the teeth.

- Ouch!
- Gotta keep it white and tight.

Guys like you and me,
we hide in the tall grass,

wait for the most beautiful gazelle
to come up from the back of the pack,

drops her head to get that last
drink of water and then we strike.

Thrill of the hunt.

Wait. Aren't the sickly ones
usually at the back of the pack?

What do you know about animals? What
are you, Steve Irwin? Rest in peace.

I watch a lot of animal shows.

- You're missing my point.
- You know what, Rick,

I don't have to worry about
hunting old gazelles anymore

because in my marriage,

I call the shots.

Would have been a lot cooler
if I sank that.

I loved that you got yourself
a matching McLaren.

We only played nine holes because
I wanted to get back home to you.

Maximo, you're home early.

I missed you.
What's wrong?

Did you get winded trying to
scrap cook again?

It was a nice refreshing beverage
after the workout we did...

Hey! You're back!

Hey, how you liking the car?

Handles like a beauty,
doesn't she?

You cheated on me
with a car salesman?

No, a little.

Remy. Here you go.

The number on the bottom
doesn't work anymore

but the top one is good.
Call any time, okay?

You want a drink?
The bar here's incredible.

Well, I don't have to tell you.

I'm sorry, Maximo.
It's over.

You sneeze, you lose, ese.

Okay. But, half
of everything is mine.

Actually, no.

You signed
a prenuptial agreement.

No, no, no. I signed a prenup.

No.

Shit!

I can't believe this.

After I gave her my best years,

and after I gave her my youth,

after I gave her the best of me.

Of course, now that my boobs have sagged,

she finds someone younger than me.

Shit!

I'm leaving. I'm leaving!

Look, once I cross this threshold,
I'm never coming back!

I won't come back!

I won't come back!

It's finished!

It's finished forever!

But she's going to miss me.

She'll miss my seeds.

Come harvest time, she'll miss my seeds.

I'm feeling like playing some
cops and robbers tonight.

Spice things up

I think I might need
to get frisked.

That polyester
looks a little itchy.

It will suit you just fine.

No, no, no, you're gonna put
it on, you're gonna love it.

Whatever you want, mommy gets.

That's right.

Maximo.

Rick.

- I'm sorry...
- My god!

I'm sorry, you scared me.

- Sorry, you okay?
- Yeah.

What's going on?

Peggy dumped me.

What the hell am I gonna do?

I have no money, no home,

no helicopters.

My god! Stop hitting me!

I'm sorry.

I'm on these horse
testosterone pills,

that Millicent makes me take and
it gets me a little agitated.

Guys like you and me,

we're survivors.

We do whatever it takes
to come out on top.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Look at me.

- We're survivors. That's what we do.
- Yes.

All you need to do is
find yourself a new wife.

- Yes. New and improved.
- And improved!

Someone who's richer
and older than Peggy.

Absolutely, yeah. There's
plenty of fish in the sea.

All I need is a place to stay
while I am fishing.

Well, I know you haven't been
in touch for a while

but you could always try
stay at your sister's.

I'm not sure.
I mean, what about here?

- No.
- Why?

Millicent insisted every room
be reserved at all times

in case she wants
to have a session.

There is not a room
that we don't...

There is one place.

Great!

I'm so... It's the
pills, it's the pills!

I don't know how these
horses do it.

This is Millicent's
grand daughter's play house.

Millicent's grand daughter
has excellent taste.

Millicent's grand daughter
has expensive taste.

This cost a fortune.

Horrible little girl. One
time she made me salt a slug,

just so she could remember
how to laugh.

Anyway, sleep tight.

Thank you.

So true.

So...

how do you guys know each other?

My god!

Thanks for letting me stay
at your house.

I am sorry.
I thought it was a real toilet.

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey! Leave it alone!
That's mine!

Leave me alone!

Hello?

Surprise! It's your brother!

No sir,
you've got the wrong apartment.

Sara.

- Yes?
- Sara?

Who's this?

It's me, your brother.

- Maximo?
- Yeah. The one and only.

Open the door, will you?

Sara?

Sara?

Is this for real?

You show up today, as if it were nothing?

After you didn't even bother
coming to see our dying mother,

When that avocado tree fell on her.

You didn't come to see
my child when he was born.

What made you think

I'd have any desire to see you?

You can't just show up like this.

I'm not opening the door for you!
I'm not...

Hey, Sara! Sarita!

I can't believe this.

Me neither!

You're happy to see me, right?

No.

What are you doing here?

Nothing! I wanted to see you and my niece.

Nephew!

That! Niece, no? Nephew?

Niece? What did I say? Nephew?

Nephew.

That's it. Nephew.

Tell me what you want, and then beat it!

Peggy kicked me out.

She took everything. Everything!

But, wasn't everything hers to begin with?

Ok, fine.

She kept everything.

She even kept the car I picked out for her

to buy for me,

to give her, for our anniversary.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I know you're angry with me, but...

Can I stay with you?

Here? Here in my house?

I have nowhere else to stay.

Really? You have honestly lost your mind!

You've lost your head.

You're my sister!

Oh, I'm your sister now, right?

You've always been my sister!

Oh, come on, Maximo!

I can't believe what
comes out of your mouth!

Don't be like this.

One day, and no more?

- Come on.
- Really?

Grab your things!

What, do you think that I'll carry them?

This isn't a hotel!

- Hey, your apartment is nice.
- Thanks.

Like, outside it seemed a little...

But it's cool.

My goodness!
It's Hector!

Hugo!

Right. What did I say?

Hugo, remember I told you I
had an ugly crazy brother

who was the champion of farting?

- Yes.
- That's it.

- Hey how are you?
- Meet Maximo.

Hi.

Look at you! You must be
six years old by now.

I just turned...

Ten.

Ten?

I know. I was kidding.

Everyone's so serious around here.
It's like, who died?

My dad.

I was sorry to hear about that.

Pictures! Hey,
where's my picture?

I don't know.
Those are family photos.

- I'm family.
- Uncle Maximo...

We're having chicken rice.

Want some?

Chicken?

No. Maybe I'll have
a lobster roll.

Or maybe you don't eat?

Why don't you say grace
before we start eating?

I'm really sorry. Next time.

- This time...
- Okay, okay.

Dear Lord, even though we are
eating just chicken and rice,

at least we're
all here together.

Well, not all of us because...

Hector's dad is dead.

Hugo! His name is Hugo.

Yeah. Because Hugo is dead.

- Hugo is not dead. His fa...
- Amen.

Wait, wait, wait...

Lord, before you go, please

help me find a new wife
with a big heart,

but not necessarily
a strong heart,

with a high net worth,

and nice big house,

who doesn't ask me to poke
her that often.

Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

- Hey, you got a girl friend?
- No.

Really? What's wrong with you?

He's ten, Maximo.

Late bloomer?

Hugo, I have an idea.

Why don't you tell uncle Max
about your science fair project?

And this way, it will be
you talking

and not this dummy over here.

Okay. Sure.

I'm sending a weather balloon

with a Go Pro camera
to the edge of the stratosphere.

Stratosphere, wow!

I've modified the Go Pro camera
to send live video stream

back to earth
via FM transmitter.

Wow, transmitter, wow! The
balloon's gonna go very high up.

And then we're gonna see
like a little part of the earth.

- Earth. Wow!
- Yeah!

Now I understand why he
doesn't have a girlfriend.

Stop it!

Wanna know what I'm doing,
uncle Maximo?

No.

- Oops!
- You know,

I prefer my own room.

And I prefer for you
to be normal.

But, we get what we get.

I'm serious.
What about upstairs?

Those are other
people's apartments.

- Really?
- Really.

But, hey, why don't you go knock
on their doors.

Maybe they'll take you in.

I love you!

- I love you mom.
- Sweet dreams!

What? I guess I'll
just tuck myself in.

How do you do this?

My god.

Uncle Maximo...

How long were you married?

Twenty five years.
Good night.

And you didn't have to work
that whole time?

Nope. Nightie night.

What did you do for money?

I didn't need money.

She paid for everything.

You go to sleep.

So now you have to find a
new wife to pay for stuff?

Yep. That's the plan.
Sweet dreams.

How are you going to do that?

By getting a good nights sleep.

Why haven't you ever visited us?

- I've been busy.
- Doing what?

- You just said you didn't work.
- Sara!

Sara Help! Sara!
Emergency, Sara!

- Emergency, Sara!
- What?

I'm trying to sleep and the kid
won't stop talking!

- You were talking too!
- To tell you to stop talking!

- Still talking!
- Did I tell you to stop talking?

- No, no!
- Enough!

You almost gave me
a heart attack.

Mira! I thought we were being
robbed.

I was being robbed of
my beauty sleep.

Go to sleep. Both of you!

Yes, mommy.

And no more talking
about not talking.

And no more talking
about poking either.

Tattletale.

Poke you!

Did you put your homework
in your back pack?

- Yes.
- Good.

- Morning.
- Morning...

- Morning.
- Morning.

We have rules here.

Any dish that you use,
you have to wash.

- I didn't know we can do that.
- We can't.

So don't even think about it.

- James!
- Hi.

Hi!

Sorry to interrupt you,
you have a guest...

I don't have a guest.

That.
That's my brother, Maximo.

Nice to meet you.

Pleasure is all mine.

You know what. My door knob
is sticking again.

Can you believe it.

- Again?
- I know. It's crazy, right?

- Can I borrow your tools or?
- No, don't worry about it.

- I'll take care of it.
- Are you sure?

Yeah.

Easy. Easy peasy. I'd love to.

Got a sticky knob...

Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet
you there like in five minutes?

Okay. You're the best.
Thank you.

It's nothing.

Are you a carpenter or what?

When you're both the man
and the woman of the house,

you have to be a handyman

and do whatever is necessary.

Are you two...

What you doing?

What are you implying?

No!

I just help out

when something gets jammed in his house,
or there's a problem in his house.

It's an old building.

Go get dressed. Look at you. We
have to leave in five minutes.

Hugo, get your stuff.
I'll meet you in the car.

Sticky knob.

Look, that sad man has to spin the
sign like a fool for all to see.

At least he has a job.

It's more than I can say
about another man in this car.

Work's for suckers.

Mom, uncle Maximo
said the S word.

- That's not the S word.
- What is?

- Can I tell him?
- No!

Shit.

So, you're big time
architect now.

Junior architect.

But, I still haven't got my own
house to design.

So I am not going
to be late for work

because you take two hours
to blow dry your hair.

I am trusting you with my car...

I am trusting you with my car and
I am trusting you with my son.

You need to go out there and
find yourself a job.

Pick me up at 5:00, okay?

Okay, I'll try to remember.

You will remember, because I have
no other way to get back home.

I said I'll try. Jeez.

5:00!

Is she always like this?

No, I just think
she doesn't like you.

Wow! I smell money.

How do you go here?

I'm in academic scholarship,

that covers some of my tuition.
My mom has to pay the rest.

You can drop me off here.

Drop you off? Are you kidding?

I'll walk you in. Where do
the rich single mom's park?

- Wait, wait, wait.
- What?

- Friend of yours?
- Arden? No.

I wish.
She doesn't even know I exist.

Why do you say that?

Because, she's a girl
and she's cute

and I am me.

You make a great point,
you are, you.

How old is she?

She's turning 10 next week.

I heard she's having
a big birthday party.

No, no, no. Not the kid. Her.

That's Arden's grandmother.

She's perfect.

Name?

- I think it's Celeste.
- Celeste what?

- Celeste Birch.
- Is there a grandpa Birch?

He died last year.

Great! Great. That's great news.
He's dead!

I'm so very sad.

Life's a gift.

Okay kid. Have a great day.

But I thought you
wanted to walk me in.

What are you, a baby?
You can walk yourself in.

Andale vamos.

I've got work to do.

Hey!

- May I help you?
- It's me, Maximo.

I'm an old friend of Celeste's.

I feel like we've
met before, right?

- I don't think so.
- I think so.

- You're Ryan, right?
- Quincy.

I knew it started with a Q
or a B or a S.

Quincy.
That's a great name, Quincy.

I was named after
my grandfather's dog.

The legacy lives on.

- Don't touch me.
- Yeah.

And where did you say
you met Celeste?

At the sports event.

- The polo match.
- Yes, exactly.

- The one back in April.
- Yeah, that's the one.

She never went to a polo match
back in April.

- May?
- No.

- June?
- No.

- July?
- No.

- August?
- No.

- September?
- No.

- October? November?
- No.

- December?
- No.

- January, February?
- No, no.

- March.
- No.

- April.
- You already said April.

And you said?

No.

I am so sorry.
I must have gotten confused.

- March.
- No.

Of course. Thanks.

Pizza delivery.

Hey man, what's up?
I'm a little busy.

I think I found my next wife.

You've heard of Celeste Birch?

Celeste Birch?

She's worth
10 Peggy Von Strauss's.

- You ever meet her?
- I haven't had the pleasure.

But, Millicent was supposed to
go her charity function today

at the Pacific Woodruff.

Pacific Woodruff, today?

Yeah. I mean, go get her.

Be the best 500 bucks
you ever spent.

500 dollars!

Yes, that's the cost
of the charity ticket.

That seems like the opposite
of charity.

- Pizza boy...
- I've got to go. Duty calls.

One extra large sausage.

That'll be $17.15.

I'm afraid I don't have
any change.

Well, maybe we'll have to work
something between us.

Maybe...

Five hundred dollars.

Hi, I need to get my car wrapped... and
I need the cash upfront.

Bro.
Is he here about the bike?

- Are you here about the bike?
- No.

Bro, he's not here for this
stupid tiny bike, alright?

He got the thing online,
you idiot.

We all make mistakes, okay?
You're not perfect.

- I misunderstood the dimensions.
- It happens.

Anyway, you thought about what kind
of edge you wanna wrap your car in?

Whatever...

This looked a lot bigger
on the Internet

because it had a picture with a
little boy, so it seemed much bigger.

Great.

How do he not know the difference
between a little boy and a grown man?

He looked older, he had a
little bit of a mustache.

Look at this.
This was in the picture.

It was a boy with the mustache
so I assume...

Whatever pays the most!

Sorry.

Was that rude? I'm in a rush,
that's all. I'm in a rush.

- Man's in a rush.
- Yes, thank you.

Here's the terms. Wrap stays
on the car for ninety days.

Yes.

You take it off before that, you
have to pay us the money back.

Not a problem. Yeah.

Leave the warp on the vehicle.

Yes, I will do that. Can we
start as soon as possible?

One thousand dollars.

Keep it close, my son.

I don't think they will let me.

Good afternoon, sir.

Sir?

Would you like to buy a ticket?

Yes, I would.

Pool side. Perfect.

Sir?

Keep the change.

Am I making you wet?

Am I making you wet?

Am I...

I look like my grandfather.

Come to papa.

Is that shit?

Am I making you wet?

Sorry.

Am I making you wet?

No, no. Bone dry. Thanks for
asking, though. Come on.

Unhand me, sir.

I just wanna speak to Celeste.

Listen, Menudo,

you think you're the first money
grabbing gigolo

to throw himself at my boss?

Maybe not the first, but I'm
hoping to be the last now.

Not while I'm working for her.

She's been through too much
emotionally and surgically

to put up with this.

You can't keep me away.

- No, I can.
- No.

- Very easily I can.
- No.

I just did.

Yes, you did.

So unless you have a written
invitation to our home,

you're not going
anywhere near her.

Hey, there's your clown suit.

Alright, here's your...
car... toon.

I kept it close just like
you asked me to, Paisano.

I don't speak Spanish.

Hi bro. Did you make a move?

I sort of made a move.

Can you talk?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Millicent's just
taking a post coital cool off.

Tell me you closed her. Tell me you
closed her during silent auction.

She didn't even see me.

I'm not sure about this one.

She's impossible to get to.

I have no in.

Or maybe I do.

Sounds like you have an idea.

But I can't tell.
I can't see your face.

- Describe your face.
- My face?

Yeah. What does it look like?

Thoughtful, very handsome
with a hint of mischief.

That's the spirit. Hey, I'm there
for you, whatever you need.

Unless it's money. Then I can't do it.
Because I'm on an allowance.

Great. Listen. Find out whatever
you can about Celeste.

Interest, passions, hobbies.
When I'm invited to her home,

I plan on selling the deal.

- I'll ask her on the club.
- Thanks.

And I've got work
to do on my end.

Hey. Hey!

My eyes are up here. Get in.

Usually we come here on Sundays

because mom says it's too much sugar
to have more than once a week.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

So, Hugo I wanna talk to you
about Arden...

Froyo Lo, look out That's right

You've got to let your
fantasies out For a bite

- Say your name
- Hugo.

Ain't no shame

Froyo Lo Froyo Lo

Do they make you sing
that every time?

I get to sing that every time.

You know if you guess the weight
of your yogurt, it's on the house.

Five pounds.

That's a lot.

I'll give you one more guess.

- Thirty pounds.
- Let's check.

Wow, they're fourteen ounces.

I was so close.

That will be six fifty.

Hey, watch me and learn.

I like your bandages.

I am...
I have a lot of rescue cats.

- Really?
- Yeah,

so I'm no stranger to scratches.

I'm always bleeding.

Thank you...

- Cindy.
- Wow. Cindy.

What an enchanting name.

Thank you.

You know, if these frozen yogurts
were half as sweet as you,

we're in for quite a treat.

Wow!

You said fourteen ounces, right?

Gracias, sweet Cindy.

I hope your pussy cats realize

what a beautiful scratching post
they have in you.

Bye.

I am a beautiful
scratching post.

See what I did there?

You got us FroYo for free?

No, my skills of seduction
got us FroYo for free

What if I told you I can teach you
how to use your skills of seduction

to get what you want.

I forgot to ask for gummy bears.

Screw the gummy bears.
I'm talking about Arden.

Hey, I can get you invited
to her birthday party.

Would you like that?

You can't get me invited
to Arden's birthday party.

Papa por favor.

- It's impossible.
- Somebody asked for gummy bears?

They're on the house.

Thank you, sweet Cindy.

I have gummy bears coming
out of my ears, literally.

Not literally, but they are in a
surprising amount of places around here.

Hey, thank you.

See, I can make things
happen for you.

When do we start?

We just did.

Okay, lesson number one.

Eye contact. Follow me.

Follow me. Eye contact.

- Okay.
- Eye contact is power, Hugo.

Women will lust after you.

Now, it's your turn.
I am Arden, okay?

Say hello to me.

- Okay.
- Hello Hugo, I'm Arden.

Hello, Arden.

You broke eye contact.

You broke eye contact.

You threw a gummy bear at me.

What? Life will throw
gummy bears at you.

Okay. Do it again.

Stop throwing gummy bears at me.

Stop breaking eye contact.

Hello, Arden.

Not bad. Good eye contact.

Not bad at all.

You guys are getting real
creative with these gummy bears.

Most people just eat them.

Okay, lesson number two...

Women love when men take control

because women have no idea
what they wants.

I'll have the steak and the lady
would have the Cobb salad.

What if she doesn't want
the Cobb salad?

Listen, a woman would rather eat
something you ordered for her

that she doesn't want

rather than something she ordered
for herself that she does want.

It doesn't make sense.

Like, at all.

You know what
doesn't make sense?

What is that? You under
house arrest or what?

It's a planetary watch.

Some people call it
an astronomical watch.

I'm gonna call it I'm
gonna die a virgin watch.

Lose it. Let's go.

Wait, uncle Maximo.
What is a virgin?

It's an airline.

Last lesson of the day...
Your walk.

Your walk tells more about you
than your mouth ever can.

- My walk?
- Yes, your walk.

Show me your walk.

- Do I just walk?
- Just walk, walk.

- Okay.
- Like you walk.

Horse shit.
Sit and watch.

Loose stride,

sleepy eyes,

smiling just a little bit
because you know what

all the ladies are thinking.

What are the ladies thinking?

Look at that confidence,

he must be great in bed.

I'm great in bed.

- What?
- I don't pee or anything anymore.

Come on now, my boy. Let's walk.

Loose stride, sleepy eyes.

What are you doing?

Pretend there's a girl
and you're walking towards her.

Feel your sexiness.

I don't feel my sexy.

What is that? You're walking
exactly like the geese.

Let's go.
Don't watch the geese, okay?

A girl pass by, turn around,
walk backwards, sexy, sexy.

What is this? What is this?
What is this?

One more time.
Feel it in your crotch.

You want everyone
to see down here.

No, I don't.

Look at me.
You learn from the best.

Okay, one more time.

You feel sexy right now?

- Yeah.
- Great. Okay, one more time.

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

There you go. Much better.

Shit.

Okay.

One more time.

Gwen,

I wanted to see if you heard
back on the Robinson account.

Sara,

I was really hoping to avoid you
and then ignore you a bunch

before you could
ask me about this.

I know, sorry.

I can ask you again tomorrow as
soon as you get out of the car.

No, no.
Can't unbreak this egg.

Alright, they loved you. They
thought you were incredible.

But they're gonna go
with someone who has...

- More experience.
- Sorry, can I finish?

Sorry...

Yes, yes...

Someone who has more experience.

You finished?

Yeah.

I just don't know what to do.

I can't get a job because
I don't have experience

and I can't get experience
if I don't get a job.

- Hey mom.
- I'm here.

5:00. I remembered. You have
nothing to complain about.

I thought you'd be happy.
I got a job.

Turning my car into a
stripper mobile is not a job.

- What's a stripper?
- It's only nine days.

No, it's not. You get this
trash off my car today.

Today!

Alright now, those guys, they...
no wait, girls...

they dance on
the poles naked, right?

Icebergs are literally just
floating ice on the water

Wow, astonishing.

So when it melts, it's like
soda, it's like bubbles.

- Bubbles, wow.
- Carbon dioxide.

Where's your watch?

You mean, my die a virgin watch?

What did you say?

Die a virgin watch.

Kids. Where do they come up
with this stuff?

Uncle Maximo told me to
take it off.

He's training me
to get girls to like me.

He's training you?

- Yeah.
- What the hell are you doing?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.
It's just silly guy talk.

It's not silly.

I learned how to undress
a woman with my eyes.

And how to walk so a woman
would know I'm gonna bed.

He said women have no idea
what they want

and you have to tell them
what to do.

No, I never used
those words exactly.

Sure you did. I wrote it
all down in this notebook.

- What notebook?
- Lesson number...

Mira.

Hugo needs to focus
on his school work.

Hey, he has a crush on a girl
at school.

I'm trying to help the kid.

You know what it's like
to like someone! Or no?

Mister "I need you to
grease my door once a week"

No.

You're taking one think for another.

- And James is just a friend!
- Oh, my God.

You're changing the subject!

No more sugar mama
catching training!

Hugo already has a mother.

- Understood?
- Yes, mommy.

Understood?

I don't speak English.

Don't be an idiot.

Why with a tortilla?

Hey, pull my finger. Pull it.

- False alarm.
- Yeah.

You're writing a love letter
to Arden?

No, just writing to my dad.

Your dad?

You know he'll never get
those letters, right?

I know.

It's just a way
for me to feel close then.

Don't you ever think
about your dad?

- No.
- Never?

Never.

You remember anything about him?

I remember he worked a lot.

And he parked his truck
in our house once.

There it is. Late bloomer.

I remember a lot about my dad.

He was fun. I think he'd
be happy that you're here

and that you're helping me.

That's what I was
just writing him.

Uncle Maximo, can I show you
my science project?

I... in the morning.

Please?

I know that you're
really not sleeping.

Uncle Maximo, please?

Okay. In the morning.

Good morning. Uncle Maximo.

Remember when you told me

that I can show you my science
fair project in the morning?

Well, here it is!
My weather balloon.

And here is the Go Pro camera

which will be attached
to the weather balloon

which will go up in space.

It's cool, right?

Amazing.

Now, will you please get it off my
face so I can go back to sleep?

Get up, Flojo Naso!

Time to go get a job.

Here, I circled the ones that I think
will be good for your qualifications

like human statue, mattress
tester, dog poop picker upper...

It's Sunday.
What place will even be open?

It's Thursday.

Want me to deflate the balloon?

Let's go.

The science fair is next Sunday,
the school is today.

Hey, no. Hugo! No, Sara!

Get a job!

Hey, condos, condos!

Sorry!

I'm okay! I am okay.

He's okay.

He's okay.

It wasn't me, it wasn't me.
I'm alright.

This neighborhood
isn't that bad.

I was expecting something out
of a horror movie,

this is more like something out
of an independent movie.

Stop trying to make
me feel better.

Stop trying to make
me feel better.

- Are you teasing me?
- Teasing me.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm sorry. Millicent's just
fantasizing about this...

Professor Rojas. She's got me
dressing like him, talking like him,

but, I can't do an accent to
save my life.

And I can't sleep on an air
mattress one more night.

You find any intel
or Celeste Birch?

As as matter of fact, I did.

And before I share this,

I don't think she's the
right mark for you.

Come on.

Celeste Birch's passions,

avid mountain climber,
loves train travel,

favorite food, fried chicken.

Great. This will help. Thanks.

Alright. It is time to go.

- Anything?
- Terrible.

It's time to go.

You sound like
Dora the explorer.

Now's the go,
when it's time to go.

Speedy Gonzales. Really.

Alright. Ola.

Everybody knows how to say that.

And somehow you screwed it up.

Hola.

- I'm positive, that's the car.
- But why would we pay him,

if he's not gonna do it.

We paid him all our money.

Hey, hey, hey!

Stop! Stop!

Well, look who it is.

No, no, no, no.
Where do you think you're going?

- Where you going, man?
- Just looking for you guys.

I was just looking for you guys.

We clearly said, don't take
the wrap off.

Ever!

Yes, yes, I remember and I thought you
did a great job with the wrapping.

But, you see my sister
felt differently.

She's your sister.

- Yeah
- Sister.

- Women.
- Right, right.

You don't have to tell
Nick and I about that.

Get his nuts.

- I got them.
- Get his nuts.

I got both of them.

I got them.

You just give us our money.
We'll be fine.

I spent it. I spent it.

Well, I sincerely hope

you bought something you really
wanted or needed.

God, you're terrible with this.
Nick, just think before you talk.

Can you do that?

I made a mistake. I'll get you
your money, I promise.

Come on guys. It's just
a thousand dollars.

- One week. You got one week.
- Yes.

Let's go.

I didn't see that coming. Nice!

- Thought we're done, right?
- You feel that?

Two hands. You want four hands?

- That's four hands.
- Yeah, there it is.

- That's four hands.
- One week.

One week, home boy.

We went four hands on him, man.
That was bad ass.

His balls are so big.

You get that money or next time
it's eight hands.

Guy doesn't have $1000,
get a job, bone head.

Froyo Lo look out That's right

You've got to let your
fantasies out For a bite

Say your name... Jose!
Ain't no shame

Froyo Lo!
Froyo Lo!

Such a good effort.

It's only lacking joy, soul,
rhythm and musicality.

And I would cry way less.

Maybe not at all.

But, what if mom finds out
we're training again?

Hugo, you can't live your life afraid
that something bad will happen.

Or you'll never really live.

Okay.

So, you gotten her to notice
you with the sexy walk.

You intrigued her with
strong eye contact.

Now, it's time to talk to her.

I don't think I can.

Relax, Hugo. It's not like you've
never talked to a girl before.

Yes, it is. I've never
talked to a girl before.

- Really?
- Yeah.

They make me really nervous
and then my nose start to sweat.

- Your nose sweats?
- Yeah.

- Your nose?
- Yes.

- I can't help you with that.
- Stop mocking me.

Well, come on. Let's go.

Well, where are we going?

You're too in your head, kid.
You need to relax.

I don't like
the bowling balls here.

Too slippery.

I'm gonna grab a Coke.
You want one?

Cokes have no nutritional value.

Neither do eggplants.

Okay, two Cokes.

Nice form.

Thanks.

My name is Gabi.
What's yours?

My name is Hugo.

You're cute, Hugo.

Thank you.

- See you.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

- What was that?
- She just called me cute!

- She said you were cute?
- Yes.

I guess my mom's not the
only one who thinks that.

Guess not.

What is that crap on your nose?

It's sweat.

Wait! My shoes. Okay,
I'll be right back.

- Don't get kidnapped.
- Okay.

Thank you. Those please.

- Nice work.
- I aim to please.

Okay, remember...

eye contact and confidence.

Come on, take that off.

You can do it.
Now we are talking.

Look at that,
you're a Greek god.

- Abs of steel.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Is my nose sweating?

Yeah, little bit. But, it will wash
out when you get in the water.

- Okay.
- Okay, come on.

Go get her. You can do this.

Come on, Stalker.

Do you need a towel?

No no no.

Eye contact, eye contact!

Hi, Arden.

Hi, Hugo.

You know my name?

Yeah, I know your name.

You said you know by mean H-I,
not H-I-G-H.

Okay.

Let's go ladies, practice is over.
Got to clear the pool area.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

- Yes?
- Yes!

- Yes?
- She invited me to her party!

She invited me to her party!

We did it!
Exactly what I needed!

- Yes!
- Yes!

- Do you see my nephew happy?
- Yes!

Yeah man, you got it!

I heard about the Pasadena project.
Yeah.

Listen, I have some ideas.
I know it's a long shot, but

please take a look.
I'd love a chance.

And I promise that I'd treat
like my own child.

Hey mom. The 101 was wide open.

It's okay. I just let him drive
from around the block.

Don't worry, I'm not one of those
people concerned about children.

Hugo, that's wonderful.
A party with other kids.

- So can I go?
- Of course,

I'll take you.
It'll be great.

Sara, you work so hard.
I will take him.

Are you kidding me? I can't wait
to see all his new friends.

Plus, we could see the big mansion
of the grandmother, right?

Hey, no offense, but I think Hugo
would mush rather go with me.

I mean, look at you.

Look at me.

- Look at you.
- Maximo, Maximo...

The words should sound
right in your head

before they leave the lips
in your stupid face.

I don't care who brings me.
I'm just excited to go.

I'm bringing you, honey.

I'm sure uncle Maximo has better
things to do on a Saturday.

Okay.

James.

Shit! You scared me!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's Maximo, Sara's brother.

Yeah, why are you
hiding in my garbage?

We need to talk.
It's about Sara.

My god, what happened?

It's not what happened,

it's what hasn't happened.

- I don't understand. What do you mean?
- James,

I'm not saying I get it,
but she likes you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Hey, I have an idea.

Take her out on Saturday.

Saturday?

Don't you think
you waited long enough?

Door.

Please don't bother yourself.

You just keep doing
nothing there

while I cook
and I open the door,

and whatever else you need.

Hi.

- Hi, James.
- Hi

Is it the door again?
I'll go get my tools.

No, no, no. Actually it's...

It's...

It's my sink.

I was just kidding
about my sink.

Funny.

So, do you need something?

Or did you just come here
to tell the sink joke?

No, no, no. Actually, I didn't.
I mean, I did, but I...

I came here to ask you if you're free
on Saturday and if you wanted to...

If you wanted to come out
on a date with me.

What?

I don't know.

- Okay.
- Mom, are you okay?

You wanna think about it?

- I don't know.
- She's acting weird.

- Maybe?
- Yeah,

she'll just think about it
and get back to you.

Okay, fine. But, you know
let me know either way.

I told you.

This guy likes you.

I don't want to talk about it.

- Hey!
- I'm going to my room.

- Hey!
- Finish the dinner.

Don't come in.

I'm sleeping.

Hugo is asleep now.

Why did you act so weird?

What's wrong?

What do you think is wrong?

I'm rusty.

I don't feel ready to go out with anyone.

When was the last time?

5 years ago.

I mean, when was the last time you...

5 years.

Seriously?

Thant's enough!

Are you serious?

Si. Okay?

Stop laughing.

The bakery has been closed for some time.

Your pastry is going to go stale.

You're such a jerk.

My God, what are you waiting for?

I don't know.

You like this little gringo?

You like the gringo!

So go, then!

I'm afraid.

You know what I do when I'm afraid?

Pray?

Drink.

My God, leave my bakery alone.

Don't talk to me about my bakery.

No, but seriously...

I don't know how you've managed to go on,

in spite of all your suffering,

to keep going, to always move forward...

I can because of Hugo.

Hugo, how?

When my husband died,

there were days
when I couldn't even breathe.

But, how do you explain to a small child
that he has to take care of himself,

because his mom wants to
lock herself in her room and cry?

You can't.

But I have a trick for when
I'm very sad to lift me up.

Anti-depressants?

No, look...

I take any sad song,

and transform it into a salsa.

A sad song?

What about The Sad One?

Let's go.

You're stepping on me!

Come on. Let's go! The Sad One!

Come on!

I'm falling asleep this isn't a salsa.

Mom.

Mom!

Hugo!

Did we wake you up?

Yes. You're singing very loudly
and bumping into things.

Go to sleep. Both of you.

Okay.

You see? You're not rusty, all you need to

is relax and have fun, that's all!

You honestly don't mind
taking him to the party?

It would be the greatest honor of my life.

Let's go! Come on!

Send him a text.

That's my sister! That's my sister!

Enough!

Hugo.

You have no room to judge.

Sorry for the spill.

What the hell happened to me?

Look what the cat dragged in!

- Pay day.
- Great!

Thank you.

Hey, where's the rest of it?

Try feeding 50 cats
on that kind of money.

It's meow-trageous!

Old man?

Not for long.

Give me the works.

Sorry.

Hey.

Behold the glory of God's creation.

Did you dye your hair?

All of it.

I gave myself a little makeover.

Maybe next time,
they can makeover your brain.

I know perfectly well...

I look very good.

Very good.

I love you, stupid face.

I love you too, little sister.

What are you telling
your dad tonight?

Just that I'm excited
to go to Arden's party.

And that I'm glad
you're going with me.

I patched it up for you.

So you can sleep better.

Give me a piece of paper, Hugo.

I wanna write a letter too.

To who?

My dad.

I wanna tell him about
his amazing grandson.

Can we do this every night?

Sure.

It could be our thing.

Hey, pull my finger.

Too late.

Sorry.

- Today's the party!
- Really?

I haven't been
thinking about it.

Mommy's taking me
to get a hair cut.

Tell him not too short.

You don't have the ears for it.

Why don't you stop talking.
You don't have the mouth for it.

Hugo, come here.

Hey!

I made the wall!
Wow, what happened?

It's been kind of nice
having you here.

- Right?
- It's been okay.

- Just okay?
- Okay, okay...

Been very nice having you
here, uncle Maximo.

Now we're talking.

- Bye.
- See you, uncle Maximo.

Don't sprinkle the toilet.

I'll do my best.

God!

Now what?

Hey. Guys!

I was just looking for you.

Coffee?

Coffee.

- Money!
- We're not here for coffee, man!

- Money!
- That's what we want!

That's why we are here!
We don't even like coffee!

Get the money!

Yeah. Money.
I don't exactly have it.

What do you mean, exactly?

Means he doesn't have it.

Well, then why don't just say
you don't have it.

Why even say
the word exactly at all?

I'm gonna pay you, I promise.

Hey, you got
a real nice place here.

By nice place,
I mean a total dump.

That's what I'm talking about.

People just say what they mean,
it's confusing.

Guys, this is my sister's place,
please.

You know what your problem is?

You don't have any respect
for money man!

- Money doesn't grow on trees.
- No, it doesn't.

- It would be cool if it did.
- Nikki, Nikki! Please!

I'm just backing up your point.
You could literally rake it up.

- What're you doing?
- Hey...

Totally forgot what
I was talking about.

- What if we took stuff of yours, sir?
- Okay, okay. That's a good point.

What if we barged in and
started taking stuff?

- What if I took this thing?
- No, please...

I don't even know what it is.

What about this? What if I took this?
No, no!

No, no, not that! That's my nephew's.
That's important.

- This is important to you?
- Yeah.

Then, probably don't want
me to have it then?

Hey, no, don't do that please.

No, don't do that please.
Okay, okay...

What do you like?
Sports cars? Helicopters?

Rolex watches? I promise I am good
for the money and so much more.

I don't need a Rolex, bro.

- You know something?
- What?

You seem like
a very sincere guy.

I am.

But, I don't believe anything
that you say you're gonna do.

So give us our money,
you can have your camera back.

It's that simple.

Hey, please,
please, please. Hey.

Hey! Have a real nice day.

And by that I mean, do not
have a real nice day.

I get it. Sometimes its funny to
not say exactly what you mean.

Not the camera, hey, the camera.

Uncle Maximo, we're home.

Are you ready?

Almost.

Wow! We look the same.

Yep. Maximo. Minimo.

Wow, mom!
You look pretty.

And you're so guapo.

That dress is really
tight on you.

You mean, I look fat? No, no, no.
In a good way, I mean.

Because you can see all the
body parts in your body.

- I'm gonna take...
- No! No, no, no.

Let's make some magic happen.

Yeah!

Arden, here we come.

Wow! Look at this place!

Yep.
This will do just fine.

There she is.

Yep.

There she is.

Hey, Hugo, just remember
everything I taught you, okay?

Thank you, uncle Maximo.

Go get her. Go get her,
Latino lover.

Beautiful as your uncle.

Hello.

Hello.

Have we met?

Only in my dreams.

Hugo.

Did you hurt your leg?

No baby, I was just walking.

My nephew is quiet fond
of your grand daughter.

Really?

Do I have something on my face?

Yes. You have my full attention.

Okay.

It's enchanting to meet you.

Maximo.

Maximo.

Hey baby, what do you say
we like, leave this place.

What do you mean?
I have a birthday party.

- Drink?
- Allow me, please.

Excuse me...

The lady and I will have
your finest champagne.

She'll have a Sprite
and I'll have a Coke.

Something as refreshing
and exciting as she is.

Of course.

Well...

Actually, I'll just have
some water. Thanks.

Women. They never know what they want.
Am I right?

She'll have a Sprite,
like I said.

But, of course.

I have to go.

Arden, wait.

Shall we grab a bite?

Wait, wait.

Sorry I was acting so weird.

Can we start over?

Is that a planetary watch?

Yeah.

Wanna check out
the rest of my party?

- Sure.
- Come on.

Cheers.

- Beautiful party.
- Isn't it?

Yeah.

Such a beautiful day.

Mountains, trains, chickens.

That's quiet
a mountain of melon balls.

You know, climbing is
one of my greatest passions.

In fact,
I'm training for Everest.

Of course, it's not the
mountain that we conquer,

but ourselves.

Sir Edmund Hilary.

Yes. You climb?

Once upon a time.
But, not anymore.

Nonsense.

Beautiful strong woman like yourself
surely has many climbs left in her.

Not this woman, I'm afraid.

Give me one good reason.

Frost bite.

South face of Everest. Just thinking
about it gives me day tremors.

I hate climbing.

You convince me.
I hate it too.

What I really love,
train travel.

So classic. Won't you agree?

- Steam locomotive, 1950.
- You have no arms?

I was playing on the tracks
and got stuck.

I'm afraid I haven't much
fondness for trains.

Now if you'll excuse me
for a moment, please.

Chicken!

- Chicken?
- Yes, Chicken!

I'm sure you love fried chicken.

Having my limbs
torn from my body,

helped me to realize just how barbaric the
treatment of chickens is in our country.

I'm vegetarian.

Which is why I founded

The Birch Poultry
Rehabilitation Center.

Now, if you'll forgive
me a moment, please.

Hey!

Chicken.

Rick?

Rick. Hey!

- What are you doing here?
- I was just...

Waiting for me to make a fool
of myself in front of Celeste?

Yes.

All that information that
you gave me was wrong.

It was.

How could you do that to me?

Because, I can't take another
second of Millicent.

Last night, she made me
dress up as her father.

What is that about?

I think it's pretty clear.

I guess you're right.

So, leave her.

Leave her? And end up like you
with nothing?

Look, it's survival of the fittest.
Come on, bro, you know the game.

No hard feelings.

Hey, Rick...

Hey, Rick... where you going?

Rick...

I believe they're playing our song.
May I?

I'm sorry, do I know you?

I'm Rick Parsons.

- Hi.
- May I cut in?

No, I don't think that's a good idea.
I saw her first.

- Well, I was aware of her first.
- I don't care.

Let it go!

You can't...

How do I...

Sorry.

Sorry.

My liege...

- Get out!
- Yes.

- You pulled her arm?
- No, you pulled her arm.

You were my best friend.

Get off me!

They're fighting.

Hey, guys,

it's a kid's birthday party...

You betrayed me.

It was just business.
It wasn't personal.

You knew how much I needed this.

You knew how desperate I was.

Celeste was my way out.

You think I'll spend the rest
of my life

living with my sister and nephew
in their crappy little apartment?

I thought you said you liked
living with us.

Hugo, no...

No, I mean... yes.

I do. I do very much.

So you were using me to get
Arden's grand mother. Right?

No, no, no, I was helping you.

- Please don't lie.
- I swear...

Okay... a little bit. I mean,
I sort of used you.

But, it wasn't really about you.
It was more about me

and in order to help me
I wanted to help you.

My god, I...

You know, that sounds
worse than it is.

I thought you were helping me
because you liked me.

Sorry, I'm sorry.

I don't want you sleeping
in my bed anymore.

I don't want you to stay
in my house anymore.

My god.

Overdressed?

Absolutely not. No.

I think everybody at the game
is underdressed.

I think you really
classed the whole place up.

They should've paid you
to come to the game.

I'm sorry. It's my son.

Hi, sweetie.

What?

Sorry, I forgot the code.

Is Hugo here?

Thanks to god, no thanks to you.

Can I speak with him?

- No.
- Please?

Just let me explain.

How do you explain to a child
who opened his heart to you

that you were only using him

to seduce the grandmother
of the girl he likes?

I can't believe that I was
stupid enough

to let you humiliate him like that.

I'm sorry, okay?

Where is Hugo's camera?

I promise I'll get it back to you.

So, you were the one who stole it.

No, I didn't steal it.

No, Sara, hey!

Don't kick me out, look...

We're family!

No. You're not family.

You're nothing more than
a lazy 46 year old freeloader

who doesn't think of anyone
but himself.

You didn't just steal his camera.

You stole his hopes.
You stole his dreams.

But it ends now.

You will never use me
or Hugo again, understood?

I'm 39.

What?

You said I'm 46, but I'm 39.

- No, you're not.
- Of course, I am.

But I'm 42.

- So what?
- You're my older brother!

I don't know what to tell you.

You know what?

I hope you grow up one day.

But it won't be in my house.

Okay, I'm 40.

Okay, 41.

We're twins!

Okay?

You don't have to sing, please.

Say your name.

Maximo.

Cindy's home.

Thank for letting me stay.

Watch your back.

We got you some nice hot tea.

I think I got all the hairs out.

And you can stay here
as long as you like.

I'm sure you'll figure out
a way to pay me back.

I get it.

Eye contact.
Don't lose eye contact.

- What are you doing?
- I'm about to pay you back.

What?

God!

No, no, stop, stop.
Please stop.

- Isn't this what you want?
- No.

God, no. Button up,
just put that away.

You're not attracted to me?

- No.
- Really?

Not at all.

No, I'm attracted to like
really good looking guys.

Guys with like great faces,

great bodies, who are muscular,

handsome and younger,
much younger than you.

And tall, a lot taller.
But, that's just me.

Then, why did you
give me the job?

I think I'm just drawn
to helping

less fortunate, damaged,

sad, sad, sad, sad creatures.

Why do you think
I have so many cats?

They need me, but I need them.

But, they hurt you
over and over again.

This guy, right? I know.

I mean, just because they hurt me
doesn't mean they don't love me.

I take care of them

and I don't expect
anything in return.

These cats are my family.

I had a chance to be
part of a family.

I ruined it.

I don't think you ruined it.

Because, it's never too late
to make it right.

You've cat to do
what you cat to do.

I've never seen that one before.

Well, you'd be happy to know
that I lost everything.

Millicent found out about Celeste's
party, she kicked me out.

You got a sister
you can stay with?

No.

I never should have gone
behind your back like that.

Wish there was something
I could do to make it up to you.

There is something.

That's your idea face.

Yep.

This is it.

So, when's
the kid's science fair again?

It's in three hours.

You get in there and get the camera.
I'll keep them distracted over here.

Police.

Police from the neighborhood.

Can I help you, officer?
Here for the tiny motorcycle?

He's not here
for your stupid bike.

You here for the bike?

No sir, I'm not here for the vehicle.
There's a neighborhood gas leak,

evacuate the premises.

Gas leak? I didn't even know
we had gas.

Situation is clear, Larry.

Yes, sir, Mr. Neighborhood
Police Officer.

I'm gonna fix the... I'm closing
the door because the gas is...

leaking here.

- I didn't smell any gas.
- I don't smell anything.

You wouldn't. That's what makes
the danger so dangerous.

Excuse me, officer?

What kind of handcuffs
are those?

Police handcuffs.

Are they furry?

There had been some local perps,

who have been having an
allergic reaction to the metal.

Now, we coat it
in synthetic material,

health is on the uprise,
crime is on the down rise.

But, I wouldn't worry your
pretty head over that, ma'am.

I don't think we need it
in this investigation.

- Ma'am?
- Ma'am?

Is this an investigation?
I thought this was a gas leak?

Investigation of a gas leak.

And shut up! I'm a police officer,
I want this crime scene secured.

It's not a crime scene...

Shut up!

Got you!

Take it easy, alright.
You said investigation

No! You take it easy.

Or I'll shoot you!

You're not shooting anybody.

I'll shoot you in the Lorax!

- That's not a thing, officer.
- It's a children's book.

You sussing me boy?
You sussing me?

I am a police officer
of the law.

I don't think you are.

Officer George Clooney
from the 69th precinct.

Don't make me use this.

I won't.

Let it go.

We've been compromised!

Ride like the wind.

Hey, sloucher jerk!

I'm okay, I'm okay.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Not in the face.

Hugo.

Hugo.

Hey, Hugo.

Hugo.

Hugo.

Hey!

Here's Hugo's camera.

If we go now, we can still
make the science fair!

The fair was yesterday.
Hugo missed it.

No! He told me Sunday at 1!

Today is Monday. You're too late.

No, it's never too late!

This time it is.

24 hours late to be exact.

Thanks for the camera.

All I wanted to do
was impress her.

Instead, I was humiliated.

I am sorry, honey.

You want me to walk you in?

No, I don't.

You can't live your life afraid
something bad will happen,

because then, you've really
never lived.

Where did you hear that?

Uncle Maximo.

Hi, Arden.

Hugo.

I'm so glad to see you.

- You are?
- Yeah.

I thought you were mad at me.

No. My grandma and I know
you did nothing wrong.

Good.

I was worried that your grandma would
be up in arms about us being friends.

Get it? Up in arms.

Up in arms. Get it?

Hugo, that's not funny.

That's just offensive.

I didn't mean it like that.

I'm joking.

I'm funny too, you know.

Wow, you are funny!

- I got your letter.
- My letter?

No one's ever written me an
actual on real paper before.

Really?

And my answer is yes.

Well, that's great!

To what question again,
I'm sorry...

I'd love to launch the weather
balloon with you, silly.

Yeah, right, my weather balloon.

I forgot about that.
How could I forget about that.

Can I see that for a sec.

I just want to see if I got
all my punctuations right.

- Is that okay.
- As long as you give it back.

Thank you.

"Dearest Arden,

I am sorry if I caused
you any pain.

It was the last thing
I wanted to do.

You are more important to me
than you know.

Two, one... Yes go!

I always wished
we could be friends.

There it goes.

But, you don't get what
you wish for,

you get what you work for.

Sometimes love can be scary.

Alright, moment of truth,
here we go.

I think...

Sometimes love
can be surprising.

Is this happening?

I think so.

Sometimes we hurt
the ones we love.

No!

- What the hell is that?
- I didn't know man.

But, it's never too late
to make it right.

Our time on earth is short.

But, love is forever.

You make me want to be a better
fifth grader.

Would you please join me in
launching my weather balloon?

Yours, Hugo."

Sara. You didn't
get the house in Pasadena,

- they went with someone...
- Let me guess, more experienced.

- Yeah.
- Well, you know what I think?

- Good...
- Can I finish?

I think that I deserve a shot
at my own house.

And if I'm not given my due,

I not afraid to go somewhere
else where I am appreciated.

Okay. Have you finished?

No, I am not.

A lesser woman would have
given up already,

ten years of drawing plans.

But, I am strong,
I am determined.

And I know that I will find
my dream job someday.

- Yes, you will.
- Yes, I will.

And that day is today.

What?

Okay, Hugo.

What do you think?
Glasses on or glasses off?

You look pretty
either way, mommy.

Baby, it's a big day today.

Mommy's a little nervous.

Well, at least your nose
isn't sweating.

Well, it's a good thing.

Wow!

A helicopter!

My goodness!

Okay...

You wait here and I will be...
right back.

- Mommy...
- Yeah?

I am proud of you.

- Mommy's gonna build a house.
- Yes!

Mrs. Dupont.

It is so nice to meet you.

Thank you. Thank you
for this opportunity

I promise that you
wont regret it.

I certainly hope not. You
come very highly recommended.

By who?

Maximo?

Wow!

You didn't think

I'd be selling frozen yogurt
all my life, did you?

I usually don't put much stock
in what my man candy says, but

he showed me your designs
and I loved them.

You did?

Thank you.

Uncle Maximo.

- Uncle Maximo.
- Hey!

- Hugo!
- That's my son.

I missed you so much.

Missed you too.

Nice blazer, Uncle Maximo.

Professor Rojas,
when she's around.

Such a great view.

- I'm so glad I am rich.
- Yeah, me too.

Must be nice.

Hey, don't go too far.

Or I'll put you in detention.

Have I been a bad girl?

Well, I guess Papa was wrong.

Sometimes you do get
what you wish for.

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

This woman's a lot of work.

Ay Dios mio.

Hugo, wanna go for a ride?

I don't know if momma
will let me.

You know what?

I think professor Rojas
has earned another chance.

Yes!

That's my older sister.

Stop it! I am your baby sister!

Yeah, but you look older.
Honestly.

What can I tell you? It's true.

Come here, come here.

Come here.

Thank you. Thank you!

You helped me make my dream come true.

You earned it.

You're so talented.

I love you.

I love you.

Okay, Hugo, let's go.
Mommy's got work to do.

Don't call him "Jugo."

His name is Hugo!

Same thing.

He's not a juice.

Up you go.

Come on, co pilot.

I want the house
to be beautiful.

Me too.

But eerie.

Sleek.

Seaside.

Fever dream.

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

Let's fly.

Bye.

I didn't know you could
fly a helicopter.

Of course. All rich
people fly helicopters.

Can I drive?

I don't see why not.

Yes!

No! No!

I thought we
were in trouble there.

You got it.

Hello?

Who's that?

It's your mommy.
She wants us to come back now.

Come on.

Show me your sexy.

Camera 1...

Squeeze your body.
You look like Chaplin.

You know who Chaplin is?

No.

Unhand me, sir.

Do you want me to see if the
manager's here. She does all hiring.

Thank you very much.

Hello. I am the manager.

Hey, guys.

Latin lover.

Latin lover.

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