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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Narrator: Meet April.
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She finds coffee shops fascinating, particularly
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in the afternoon when they house a collection of loners.
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An empty picture frame, once hung as a fashion
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she had fancied from a television show,
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had now become a resting place for lost dreams.
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She refers to past relationships as "time spent,"
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and once broke up with a man because
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his tattoo failed to hold any special meaning.
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April's greatest fears are in an equal and ironic measure.
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That of living a purposeless life,
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and the fear of God speaking to her.
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Mirror mirror, truthfully lied, sharing one heart,
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running two minds, breathless, tired,
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Male voice: muddle that binds, I am Jekyll, no need to Hyde.
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Narrator: There was no name, address or number indicating its owner.
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There were clues however.
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Places he had been, and first names of people he had spoken with.
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April had read fifteen pages of intimate thoughts by this unknown individual
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and for the first time in nearly three years she had felt a pang, a stabbing ache.
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Was it guilt?
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No, it was her once dormant friend loneliness.
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She decided to end her voyeuristic crime on the final line of the fifteenth page.
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It read, "her death left me feeling as free as I had felt in a very long time,
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and I'll never forgive myself for it."
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Narrator: As she drifted off to sleep, she imagined the sun-soaked afternoon
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when she would return the journal to its creator.
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Narrator: He could be anyone...
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but could he be everyone?
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Was it possible that there were hundreds, thousands, even millions of men wearing invisible
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armor to mask their profound understanding of self? Of life?
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And if so, was she to blame for a lack of effort
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in attempting to penetrate this protective shell?
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Suddenly April felt culpable for her failed relationships.
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How ya going to track him down?
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Not sure.
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So far I've posted it on Craigslist.
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Any response?
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Just a couple of guys sending pictures of their you-know-what's.
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Forward please.
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Not worth it, trust me.
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Oooh, you looked.
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Such a perv.
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Oh shush.
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Maybe one of them was his?
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No.
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Oh, right, I forgot, he's perfect.
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You haven't read his stuff.
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So let me.
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I can't.
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It's personal.
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You read it.
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I was trying to find a name or something.
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Fine.
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Woo hoo!
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Shhh.
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Jesus, you gotta hear to draw?
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I'll read one passage.
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I occupy my being with obtuse tasks,
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in the hopes of freezing the circulating matter inside my head.
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I shut my eyes and concur with irrational fantasies
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that fool me into believing in their lucidity.
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I ponder the relevance of being me.
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He's gay.
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Stop it.
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Absolutely.
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He talks about women a lot.
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Because he wants to be one.
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He's not gay.
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Is there some dark relationship past you've never told me about?
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What?
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No.
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Then why in the five years that I've known you has the one person you've fallen in love
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with been an unknown, depressed, gay man that you will never meet?
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I'm not afraid of love if that's what you mean.
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No?
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No.
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What was wrong with Robert again?
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Laura, please.
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Right, he chewed with his mouth open.
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Sorry if I had a pet peeve.
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And that John guy?
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John?
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You know, the one who shaved his junk.
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Josh.
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Josh.
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It was his whole body, he shaved his entire body.
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Right. Too metrosexual.
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It was like cuddling with an alien.
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And besides, it wasn't about that. He...
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He never listened.
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Right.
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The orange peels.
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That was an example, okay?
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Laura, he never listened to me.
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How are you not seeing this?
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Shhh.
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Calm yourself, Dali.
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They just weren't the right match.
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Isn't that possible?
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It is possible but it's also possible you need to make it the right match.
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I would have married Yusef.
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Yeah, to prove you were liberal.
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Okay, lets say you do track this guy down, and he turns out to be straight, which there's
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no way in hell but whatever, you know he's going to be balding and fat.
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I mean come on, then what?
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How fat?
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Ginormous.
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I don't know.
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Looks like the only way to prove my point is to help you find this fat ass.
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So, what do we know about him?
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He lives in the city and he works as a consultant of some sort.
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Wherever he lives there are Hispanic men around the corner waiting to be picked up for work.
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Jesus, April, that's one in a thousand corners of New York.
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What's next, he's Jewish?
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He listens to blues.
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He goes to a park with a pool.
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And he eats hotdogs from food carts.
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Wait.
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I know.
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Gross.
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No. No.
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Astoria Park.
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There's a park in Astoria with an olympic-sized pool
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and there's a huge Hispanic area around there.
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Here's the plan.
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This Saturday we print up fliers and we hang them all over Astoria.
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We are so on to this Queen.
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Narrator: What happened next would haunt her the entire night through.
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She had received yet another reply to her Craigslist ad.
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How do you know it's him?
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I copied the poem that he wrote and asked him to fill out the last line.
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He got it right.
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Sounds like you.
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What if he looks like Chris Pratt?
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Ya know, you would make cute babies with Chris Pratt.
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If Chris Pratt kept a journal I bet it would be so steamy.
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Like, s-e-xual escapade after s-e-xual escapade.
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I bet he's violent in bed.
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Like, angry s-e-x all the time.
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I know he seems so sweet but I bet he has angry, angry s-e-x.
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Angry.
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Oof.
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You're infuriating.
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What?
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I know what you're thinking.
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You do?
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You wish it wasn't him.
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I know it's not going to be Chris Pratt.
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No, you wish you hadn't found him so quickly.
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You wanted more time to dream about this guy.
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I'm right, aren't I?
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That is f'd up.
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You know how I know?
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How?
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I knew a girl like you in college.
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Completely cynical about love.
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Or idealistic, or both, I don't know which.
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Anyhow, one day this cute boy asked her out, she was super excited, talk of the floor.
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The day before they were supposed to go out she called up the guy and postponed the date.
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Then she did it another eight times.
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Eventually the guy gave up.
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You know why she kept cancelling?
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I do not.
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She preferred the gossip to the date.
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You know what happened to her?
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I do not.
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You better love cats, that's all I'm saying.
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I just haven't been this excited in years.
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You are the only person who could turn that statement into a negative.
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Okay. Let's move, Carly.
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Call me when you're done c-l-i-m... climaxing.
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Oh, thank you.
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I love it.
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I'll hang it on my wall.
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Okay, and if I don't hear from you by five, I'm calling the police.
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Come on, Carly.
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Here we go.
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Okay?
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Here.
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Mmm hmm.
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I'll have a little bit more.
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Have a seat anywhere you like, hun.
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Narrator: The diner was to be the rendezvous point.
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And this was a calculated choice.
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April found diners romantic in both their simplicity and history.
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April?
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Yes?
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Bill.
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When you described yourself?
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You left out beautiful.
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Oh, thank you.
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Cool place, huh?
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Yeah.
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Thanks.
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So...
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You found my journal?
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Yes.
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Yes, I did.
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It dropped out of your backpack on the subway.
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Yeah, that damn thing.
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It's always giving me trouble.
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And uh...
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And I have a confession.
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I did read quite a bit, all of it actually.
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Did you?
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I know I shouldn't have and it's totally wrong and rude and I completely
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invaded your personal thoughts but it really wasn't my intention.
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I really wanted to look for clues to help return the journal
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but then as I read it I just...
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I wanted to read more.
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You have an amazing way of expressing yourself.
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And I found myself feeling as though you were describing my thoughts.
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What if I was?
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Was what?
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Describing you.
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I find your writing poetic.
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It's raw honesty.
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I think a lot of people feel like you do
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but are afraid to admit it or don't know how to express it and I just really wanted to tell you that.
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I know you don't know me and you might not care
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but I also think you really shouldn't feel so guilty.
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I think it's human nature to feel conflicting things.
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Guilty?
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For what?
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You know, um... like, your sister's death.
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It was my fault?
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No!
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It's not your fault, that's what I'm saying.
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How could you be responsible for her illness?
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Just because you don't want that burden, which is natural I think, it doesn't mean you sped
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up the process or had a negative impact.
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Okay, you're good.
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This ain't your first rodeo I see.
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I wasn't sure at first.
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Sure about what?
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Right.
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Well, uh, we were so close, my sister and I.
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You want me to keep talking about my sister?
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I just wanted to return the journal and let you know
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that you're not alone in how you feel.
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I should get going.
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Hang on, should I follow you or...
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What?
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No, I don't think so.
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Don't you want the journal back?
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It's your journal.
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Right?
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Sorry to break like this but are we still playing?
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Playing what?
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Role play.
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Excuse me?
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Role play.
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No, I hear you but I just wanted to return the journal.
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It's not mine.
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You knew the poem.
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It's not a poem, it's the lyrics to a Pink Floyd song.
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Comfortably Numb.
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Why didn't you post in the Lost and Found section?
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I did.
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No, you posted in Missed Connections.
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There's a community of role players that post scenarios and then meet up.
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Last week I was a cable guy late for my appointment.
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Still have welts.
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That explains the photos.
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Sorry.
269
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,040
No worries.
270
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,660
Hey.
271
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,580
If you don't find the guy I'm happy to play the role.
272
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:20,340
Yeah, that's good to know.
273
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,580
I would die.
274
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,180
Can you believe it?
275
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,820
Narrator: There are a number of words that would accurately describe April's condition.
276
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,480
But "concerned" trumped them all.
277
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,639
How had she posted the journal in the wrong section?
278
00:20:43,639 --> 00:20:47,639
Let alone a section reserved for courting appealing strangers?
279
00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:51,500
Freud would have a field day with this, she thought.
280
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:18,480
Hi Chris. Um...
281
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,760
It's April, I'm just calling to take a day off tomorrow, if that's okay with you.
282
00:21:23,929 --> 00:21:26,200
I'm really not feeling well.
283
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,700
I have a fever and I was hoping to take tomorrow off.
284
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:32,900
Um, anyway, uh, call me back. Thanks.
285
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,760
Male voice: Sometimes I feel I'm waiting for a message in a bottle to wash ashore,
286
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,581
only the message is a map and it's leading me to an alternate universe
287
00:22:30,581 --> 00:22:34,040
where another version of me is living the way I was meant to live.
288
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,920
What ya advertising there?
289
00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:14,760
Found a journal on the subway.
290
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,700
Yep.
291
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,640
Ever heard of Paul Piscerni?
292
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,680
I don't think so.
293
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,120
Yep.
294
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,800
Should I have?
295
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,039
That's a great question.
296
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,259
He was an actor.
297
00:23:36,559 --> 00:23:38,659
We served together in Vietnam.
298
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,780
He died yesterday.
299
00:23:43,740 --> 00:23:45,380
Sorry to hear that.
300
00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:47,280
Thank you.
301
00:23:47,980 --> 00:23:49,309
But I never met the man.
302
00:23:49,309 --> 00:23:51,471
We served in the same war, that's all.
303
00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:55,680
Help me up there, will ya?
304
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,020
Thank you.
305
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:10,580
Would you mind placing that for me?
306
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,600
Who are they?
307
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,260
Oh, mostly family and friends.
308
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,260
And when I ran out of those
309
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:49,520
I began including people from popular culture during my lifetime.
310
00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:54,940
Actors, politicians and the like.
311
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:58,400
The ones that seemed nice.
312
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,380
Nineteen-ninety-nine.
313
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:06,610
That was the year I had twenty-one funerals to attend.
314
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,380
Yep, twenty-one.
315
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:11,060
Yep.
316
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,260
The twenty-first funeral had only three attendees.
317
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,290
Most of the rest had passed on.
318
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:24,300
Pretty soon I found myself the only one left to console.
319
00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:26,540
Yep.
320
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:30,291
Wasn't worth the travel anymore.
321
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,300
That is...
322
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,200
I'm sorry.
323
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,160
Why?
324
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,420
Your family and friends, you lost them.
325
00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:42,570
Lost them how?
326
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,540
Didn't you say they passed away?
327
00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:46,440
Yep.
328
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,720
Moved on to ride the fluff in the sky.
329
00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:53,940
But nothing's really lost.
330
00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:54,940
Look.
331
00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:57,480
There's adventure.
332
00:25:58,060 --> 00:26:00,280
And laughs.
333
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,611
Late night philosophy.
334
00:26:03,940 --> 00:26:05,860
And bar brawls.
335
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,420
And love.
336
00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:10,720
Yep.
337
00:26:11,580 --> 00:26:13,000
Lots of love.
338
00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:17,981
Nothing's really ever lost.
339
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,020
Do you mind if I take a photo?
340
00:26:24,020 --> 00:26:25,580
Suit yourself.
341
00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:40,440
Narrator: April's mind raced with questions.
342
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,020
Had she offended him by taking the photograph?
343
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,260
Where was he going?
344
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:47,180
Did his memories provide sufficient companionship?
345
00:26:47,180 --> 00:26:48,539
Did he think he was cursed?
346
00:26:48,539 --> 00:26:51,779
Had he learned the meaning of life?
347
00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:53,960
Did he have regrets?
348
00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:55,820
Did he fear anything?
349
00:26:55,820 --> 00:26:59,000
Was there anything left for him to fear?
350
00:27:11,780 --> 00:27:14,680
Narrator: April imagined herself as an eighty-year-old woman,
351
00:27:15,860 --> 00:27:18,020
and she wondered how many rocks she will have collected
352
00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:21,300
before needing to add popular culture to the mix.
353
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:29,180
Oop, sorry.
354
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:31,260
I didn't see you there.
355
00:28:31,260 --> 00:28:33,400
Sorry, um, is this yours?
356
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,800
I was just wondering if you dropped this?
357
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,271
No.
358
00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:42,140
Are you sure?
359
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:44,119
Yeah, I'm fairly certain.
360
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:48,980
Oh, it's just I saw it fall out of a backpack just like yours.
361
00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:49,700
Oh!
362
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,060
Target.
363
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,360
They were on sale.
364
00:28:58,700 --> 00:28:59,680
I'm sorry.
365
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:00,880
Don't be.
366
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,740
I love Target.
367
00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:06,240
Uh, hey!
368
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,240
You live around here?
369
00:29:08,149 --> 00:29:11,129
Um, yeah, a couple blocks up.
370
00:29:14,139 --> 00:29:16,119
I was going to grab...
371
00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:19,980
I was going to grab a bite to eat.
372
00:29:20,780 --> 00:29:22,300
You should come.
373
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,840
I've got something.
374
00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:30,100
Uh, Jared.
375
00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:33,720
April.
376
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,980
Maybe next time.
377
00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:39,020
It's not like if you say something it's going to jinx it.
378
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,160
That's it though.
379
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,720
We talked about books, music, traveling.
380
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,040
Spent a couple of hours.
381
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,479
Oh, he works for a food bank.
382
00:31:46,479 --> 00:31:51,379
He has a cute ass, he smelled like musky heaven, give me the good stuff.
383
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:52,700
He did have a cute butt.
384
00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:53,980
Ugh, finally.
385
00:31:53,990 --> 00:31:57,030
Hey, Carly honey, tie your shoe.
386
00:31:57,030 --> 00:31:59,170
Okay so what's wrong with him?
387
00:31:59,170 --> 00:32:00,160
Nothing.
388
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,820
He's smart, funny, artsy.
389
00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:07,340
But we spent a couple of hours, I don't really know much about him yet.
390
00:32:07,340 --> 00:32:10,500
God, please stop being so guarded, it's irritating.
391
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,160
When are you going to go out again?
392
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,760
We'll see if he calls.
393
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,340
Of course he will, you're adorable.
394
00:32:15,340 --> 00:32:17,100
And he works for a food bank.
395
00:32:17,429 --> 00:32:19,119
What is that supposed to mean?
396
00:32:19,119 --> 00:32:20,119
He's broke.
397
00:32:20,119 --> 00:32:21,340
I don't care.
398
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:24,419
I for one have never regretted marrying for money.
399
00:32:24,419 --> 00:32:25,419
Laura.
400
00:32:25,419 --> 00:32:26,779
I haven't.
401
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:29,819
You don't ever think what if you waited... for something more...
402
00:32:29,820 --> 00:32:30,880
More magical?
403
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:31,740
Nah.
404
00:32:32,420 --> 00:32:34,780
One day you wake up and you realize you have spent years
405
00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:37,360
looking for something that doesn't exist.
406
00:32:38,780 --> 00:32:41,020
Well, it doesn't exist for me.
407
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,479
Might happen for you though.
408
00:32:43,479 --> 00:32:46,210
Hey, Carly honey, tie your shoe.
409
00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:48,940
So you think everyone settles.
410
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,799
I think love is more a mindset than emotion.
411
00:32:53,220 --> 00:32:55,340
Sounds like you don't believe love exists.
412
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:58,499
I think we mold it into what we need it to be.
413
00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:00,160
So it becomes important to find someone
414
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,760
who agrees with you on whatever philosophy that is.
415
00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:07,720
Or you can just find a guy with a cute butt.
416
00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:09,540
I'm serious.
417
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,450
Carly!
418
00:33:11,450 --> 00:33:12,730
Your shoe!
419
00:33:17,399 --> 00:33:18,559
Do you...
420
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:20,220
love Tom?
421
00:33:20,230 --> 00:33:21,370
Yes.
422
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,800
As much as I could love anybody.
423
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:29,840
Even if I had married him believing he was a soulmate or whatever,
424
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,040
it would still be work.
425
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,020
It's always work.
426
00:33:34,020 --> 00:33:36,280
When is it too much work?
427
00:33:36,289 --> 00:33:40,360
Yeah well, I'm not sure there's just one answer to that question.
428
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,220
I mean, if he hits you.
429
00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:43,620
Of course.
430
00:33:43,620 --> 00:33:45,600
Unless your into that kind of thing.
431
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,460
Carly, what did I tell you?
432
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:03,940
Narrator: April wondered, with time were her expectations growing or diminishing?
433
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,240
She found herself concocting a dangerous notion.
434
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:11,280
She wanted to fuse Jared with the journal author.
435
00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:11,840
Lady.
436
00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:19,280
mmm, that is awful.
437
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,720
Greatest love song ever.
438
00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,180
Really?
439
00:35:30,860 --> 00:35:31,980
Just listen.
440
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,520
What did I tell ya?
441
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,940
I can see how a man might think that.
442
00:36:04,420 --> 00:36:05,520
Are you kidding me?
443
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,020
It's about a woman following her man back to his hometown
444
00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:11,380
after he failed to achieve his dreams.
445
00:36:11,380 --> 00:36:12,670
Exactly.
446
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:19,140
And the brilliance is, is just when you think the song is about him you suddenly realize
447
00:36:19,140 --> 00:36:23,380
it's not, about him, at all. It's really about her.
448
00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:27,030
That's kind of my point, it doesn't say anything about how he feels about her.
449
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:35,760
It's nothing personal.
450
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,180
No, this is important.
451
00:36:37,180 --> 00:36:40,580
This is artistic perfection.
452
00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:42,469
It's a catchy tune.
453
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,440
Okay, okay.
454
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:47,560
Okay.
455
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,020
How about this.
456
00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:51,900
Why does it matter?
457
00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:53,500
If he loves her, why does it matter?
458
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,410
I don't know, maybe because she's moving to another state for him?
459
00:36:56,410 --> 00:36:58,119
Because she loves him.
460
00:36:58,119 --> 00:37:00,559
Yeah, she loves him.
461
00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:01,559
No.
462
00:37:01,559 --> 00:37:03,369
No, you can't do that.
463
00:37:03,369 --> 00:37:06,059
It might be one sided is all I'm saying.
464
00:37:06,060 --> 00:37:10,080
Maybe he's letter her come back with him in an effort to hold on to his dreams,
465
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,320
like a keepsake.
466
00:37:11,540 --> 00:37:14,680
Maybe that's what she is to him, a kind of comfort.
467
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,980
No, you're projecting, there's nothing about that in the song.
468
00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:20,480
You said, "greatest love song ever"
469
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,240
except there's nothing about how he feels towards her.
470
00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:25,040
Case closed.
471
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,760
Do you think she loves him?
472
00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:44,080
I'd say... she thinks she does, but maybe it's not shared, we just don't know.
473
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:48,600
The look, how can someone ever truly give love to someone else if they're waiting
474
00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,660
for it to be returned in equal measure?
475
00:37:50,660 --> 00:37:52,670
That's conditional love.
476
00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:55,110
All I'm saying is if it isn't mutual it isn't going to last
477
00:37:55,110 --> 00:37:58,490
and when I think of love I think of something lasting.
478
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:07,220
You ever been in love?
479
00:38:09,060 --> 00:38:10,090
Yes.
480
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,040
But it didn't last.
481
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,040
Nope.
482
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,119
So was it love?
483
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,630
Not the kind I wanted it to be.
484
00:38:19,180 --> 00:38:20,320
And you?
485
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,740
Yeah, I've been in love.
486
00:38:23,860 --> 00:38:25,980
Mmmhmm, how many times?
487
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,440
Three and a half.
488
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,300
Me too.
489
00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:38,280
Maybe the half we dated at the same time.
490
00:38:39,540 --> 00:38:40,980
Oh my god.
491
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,140
Was he six foot tall?
492
00:38:43,140 --> 00:38:44,140
Yes.
493
00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:46,560
Good looking, smart, funny?
494
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:47,660
Yes, yes and yes.
495
00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:50,260
With a Cheshire cat tattoo near his vagina?
496
00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:51,940
No.
497
00:38:51,940 --> 00:38:53,341
Really?
498
00:38:54,780 --> 00:38:55,880
Yes.
499
00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:58,340
Surprised that didn't last.
500
00:38:58,340 --> 00:39:01,260
Oh, how judgy are you?
501
00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:02,340
Meow.
502
00:39:02,349 --> 00:39:07,569
Look it's not like relationships come with an expiration date.
503
00:39:07,569 --> 00:39:10,489
You know, you just...
504
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,520
Come here.
505
00:39:17,820 --> 00:39:19,030
Why?
506
00:39:20,180 --> 00:39:22,140
I want to try something.
507
00:39:22,740 --> 00:39:24,600
I bet.
508
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,580
Turn around.
509
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:28,940
It's not weird, turn around.
510
00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:32,540
You've got a great ass.
511
00:39:32,540 --> 00:39:33,560
But we can talk about that later.
512
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:34,779
Or not.
513
00:39:34,779 --> 00:39:36,339
Hands by your side.
514
00:39:36,339 --> 00:39:38,419
I'm not going to look at your ass.
515
00:39:38,430 --> 00:39:39,869
Much.
516
00:39:39,869 --> 00:39:43,269
I'm kidding, turn around, come on, hands by your side.
517
00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:46,160
Close your eyes.
518
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:48,640
Fall back.
519
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:49,420
What?
520
00:39:49,420 --> 00:39:51,500
Close your eyes and fall back.
521
00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:53,120
I don't think this is a good...
522
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,620
It's gonna be great!
523
00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:56,320
Fall back.
524
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,580
I got you.
525
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,720
I don't want to do this.
526
00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:05,220
Oh come on, you don't trust me?
527
00:40:05,230 --> 00:40:07,690
No, it's not that I'm uncomfortable falling.
528
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:12,440
That's alright.
529
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,819
It's not that I don't trust you.
530
00:40:34,819 --> 00:40:36,679
I was being silly.
531
00:40:36,690 --> 00:40:40,530
You can trust someone without proving you'd fall out of a window.
532
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,680
I was just trying to look at your ass anyway.
533
00:40:48,130 --> 00:40:49,750
What color was it?
534
00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:50,860
What?
535
00:40:50,860 --> 00:40:52,589
The Cheshire cat.
536
00:40:52,589 --> 00:40:53,589
Ah.
537
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:57,780
I'm not going to answer that.
538
00:40:57,780 --> 00:41:05,300
On the grounds that I wish to move past discussing ex-girlfriends' vaginal art.
539
00:41:09,079 --> 00:41:10,499
It was green wasn't it?
540
00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:11,500
You wish.
541
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,180
This remind you of anything?
542
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:35,100
Um...
543
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,040
Jules and Jim.
544
00:41:40,910 --> 00:41:42,150
No way.
545
00:41:44,260 --> 00:41:46,859
I can't believe you know this movie.
546
00:41:46,859 --> 00:41:49,379
I used to dress like Jeanne Moreau.
547
00:41:49,380 --> 00:41:50,680
What?
548
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,010
You know that hat she wore?
549
00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,010
Uh huh.
550
00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:54,930
Yeah, I wasn't very popular.
551
00:41:54,930 --> 00:41:56,430
Oh man.
552
00:41:56,820 --> 00:41:59,860
I would totally have been friends with you and your ugly hat.
553
00:42:01,180 --> 00:42:02,200
Thank you.
554
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:03,620
You're welcome.
555
00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:08,080
Man I love this movie.
556
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,860
Yeah, me too.
557
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,900
Parlez-vous français?
558
00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:14,980
Not at all.
559
00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:16,490
You don't know the lyrics?
560
00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:20,600
Well...
561
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,140
No.
562
00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:24,220
I don't either.
563
00:42:24,220 --> 00:42:25,500
You're screwing with me.
564
00:42:37,020 --> 00:42:38,080
Make 'em up.
565
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:38,799
Huh?
566
00:42:38,799 --> 00:42:40,479
Make up the lyrics.
567
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,040
Seriously.
568
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,040
Sure.
569
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,820
Just try imagining them.
570
00:42:45,740 --> 00:42:46,940
Or something.
571
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:48,820
Hmm.
572
00:42:50,260 --> 00:42:55,180
I'd say she's singing about a happy moment from her past.
573
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,120
You must be really good with numbers.
574
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:00,400
What was that?
575
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:05,579
She's singing about a happy moment from... you can do better than that.
576
00:43:05,579 --> 00:43:07,369
Oh fine.
577
00:43:07,369 --> 00:43:08,829
I am very good with numbers.
578
00:43:08,829 --> 00:43:09,829
I'm sure.
579
00:43:09,829 --> 00:43:11,089
Get in the zone.
580
00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,629
Shhh. Breathe.
581
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,340
You got this.
582
00:43:18,340 --> 00:43:19,340
Okay.
583
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,420
She walks through the park.
584
00:43:30,020 --> 00:43:31,520
And it's spring.
585
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:40,060
She comes across a man, he's a violinist practicing a wonderful tune.
586
00:43:40,060 --> 00:43:45,080
He's wearing one of those flat hats, you know, with a smooshed bill.
587
00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:50,300
She lays down in the grass, it tickles her neck
588
00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:53,940
in a way that reminds her of a passionate night from her past.
589
00:43:54,339 --> 00:43:59,680
She exhales out her tension, imagining it breaks apart into tiny little spirits.
590
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:05,640
They comfort her and they say, "everything's going to be okay."
591
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:07,900
Oh!
592
00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:10,520
My bad.
593
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:11,440
Oh, I'll get something.
594
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:16,680
Of course I'm out of paper towels.
595
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,720
You are?
596
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:18,560
Yep.
597
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:19,560
Oh no.
598
00:44:26,980 --> 00:44:29,100
Give me sexy.
599
00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:31,720
Hey, are you done yet?
600
00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:35,420
I guess.
601
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,120
Whoa, look at that.
602
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,320
Hey.
603
00:44:47,700 --> 00:44:49,180
How'd you get that?
604
00:44:49,180 --> 00:44:50,500
I don't know.
605
00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:52,260
Let's see how you like it.
606
00:44:52,260 --> 00:44:52,960
No.
607
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,720
Come on.
608
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:54,420
No.
609
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,160
Work it.
610
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,100
I don't want to work it.
611
00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:56,760
Work it.
612
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:57,480
Lets see your sexy.
613
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:58,020
No, this is...
614
00:44:58,020 --> 00:44:58,880
Work it for the camera.
615
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,380
Stop it.
616
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,400
Narrator: Jared refused to confess that he found great difficulty
617
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,800
following the storylines when reading aloud.
618
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:07,800
April didn't have the heart to tell him that she preferred reading to herself.
619
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,340
Even so, over the past couple of months
620
00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:17,440
this evening ritual had evolved into a source of great anticipation for each of them.
621
00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:26,740
And what's your name?
622
00:46:26,740 --> 00:46:27,740
April.
623
00:46:27,740 --> 00:46:28,980
And yours?
624
00:46:28,980 --> 00:46:31,340
Maximillian Von Russeau.
625
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:39,040
Great, now if you get it within the thirty seconds you win the item,
626
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:42,881
if you don't guess right however one of you will die.
627
00:46:42,881 --> 00:46:45,141
Crowd: Oooh
628
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:47,460
The product!
629
00:46:47,460 --> 00:46:49,120
Crowd: Ahhh
630
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,840
You'll have to win this.
631
00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:55,180
We'll work together.
632
00:46:55,180 --> 00:46:57,760
I have too much humility to assign a value to my work.
633
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,980
You have thirty seconds, three, two, go.
634
00:47:03,980 --> 00:47:05,580
One hundred dollars.
635
00:47:05,580 --> 00:47:06,580
Higher.
636
00:47:06,580 --> 00:47:07,780
Two hundred dollars?
637
00:47:07,780 --> 00:47:08,780
Higher.
638
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,180
Five hundred.
639
00:47:11,180 --> 00:47:12,380
Higher.
640
00:47:12,860 --> 00:47:14,180
One thousand dollars.
641
00:47:14,180 --> 00:47:15,060
Higher.
642
00:47:15,060 --> 00:47:18,460
Crowd: Four, three, two, one...
643
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,020
One million dollars!
644
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,549
Oh so sorry this was a tough one.
645
00:47:26,549 --> 00:47:30,930
The actual value of the journal was one hundred dollars.
646
00:47:34,980 --> 00:47:36,440
But I said that.
647
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,529
Without conviction, I'm afraid.
648
00:47:38,529 --> 00:47:41,900
You took too long now Max will suffer.
649
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:45,640
No.
650
00:47:47,180 --> 00:47:50,580
I'm sorry Maximillian Von Russeau.
651
00:48:14,580 --> 00:48:16,600
What are you doing?
652
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,640
I think this guy's manic.
653
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,160
Please don't read that.
654
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:21,840
I'm sorry, I should have asked but...
655
00:48:24,940 --> 00:48:27,660
You uh any leads yet?
656
00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:28,660
No.
657
00:48:29,900 --> 00:48:32,060
You know I probably met the guy.
658
00:48:32,980 --> 00:48:34,860
What do you mean?
659
00:48:41,020 --> 00:48:42,840
Come on, no.
660
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,800
Well he lives in Astoria.
661
00:48:51,809 --> 00:48:52,940
We think he lives in Astoria.
662
00:48:52,940 --> 00:48:55,660
He definitely lives in Astoria, or at least visits.
663
00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:00,440
Actually, nobody visits Queens so I'm sure he lives there.
664
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:01,940
Why do you say that?
665
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:06,560
Because Manhattanites and Brooklynites are snobs like that.
666
00:49:06,940 --> 00:49:08,920
No, why do you think he lives there?
667
00:49:08,930 --> 00:49:11,680
Oh, he mentions Kelly's.
668
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:12,680
You know Kelly?
669
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,180
It's a bar, not a guy.
670
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,460
Yeah my friends and I used to go there a lot.
671
00:49:18,460 --> 00:49:19,460
Hey...
672
00:49:19,460 --> 00:49:20,460
I need to go there.
673
00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:21,940
Well lets grab brunch first huh?
674
00:49:21,940 --> 00:49:23,340
I'm starving.
675
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,920
Have you decided what you're going to wear for the gala on Friday?
676
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:36,920
The what?
677
00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:41,080
Seriously?
678
00:49:41,700 --> 00:49:44,420
Oh, um, no, I haven't.
679
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,980
You know if you don't want to go you don't have to.
680
00:49:49,980 --> 00:49:51,400
I want to go.
681
00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:53,300
I do.
682
00:49:57,820 --> 00:50:01,280
This omelette's really good, you should try some.
683
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:04,780
That's okay.
684
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:08,880
I said I don't want any.
685
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,160
It's good.
686
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,500
I'm not trying it.
687
00:50:15,820 --> 00:50:17,220
Fine.
688
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,620
Sorry I tried sharing something delicious with you.
689
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,420
There's no need to get all riled up.
690
00:50:25,420 --> 00:50:27,980
Bad timing, I guess.
691
00:50:27,980 --> 00:50:31,740
I'm not PMSing if that's what you mean.
692
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,260
Narrator: April was PMSing but that had nothing to do with the tiff
693
00:50:39,260 --> 00:50:43,620
she had started with Jared. She was feeling a sort of guilt over
694
00:50:43,630 --> 00:50:48,810
permitting Jared to join in on her search for the journal's author.
695
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,380
What can I do ya for?
696
00:51:05,380 --> 00:51:06,580
Hi, I'm looking for...
697
00:51:06,580 --> 00:51:08,580
Two IPA's.
698
00:51:08,580 --> 00:51:09,400
Please
699
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,820
We used to do karaoke here every Saturday.
700
00:51:19,860 --> 00:51:22,600
Guessing you're not much of a karaokier.
701
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,500
I sing, but only in groups.
702
00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:26,030
Safety in numbers.
703
00:51:26,030 --> 00:51:27,710
Not for the group.
704
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,760
May you die in bed at ninety-five, shot by a jealous spouse.
705
00:51:34,860 --> 00:51:36,359
Can I ask a favor?
706
00:51:36,359 --> 00:51:37,619
What have ya got, beautiful?
707
00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:39,360
Can I please hang this here?
708
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,180
A green backpack.
709
00:51:45,180 --> 00:51:47,060
Like this one.
710
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:49,360
You can hang it.
711
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,780
Thank you.
712
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:59,000
I haven't seen him much though, not lately.
713
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,360
Used to come in a lot.
714
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,980
Come back on Friday, when Lindsay's behind the bar.
715
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,500
Hey.
716
00:52:17,500 --> 00:52:19,440
Popcorn or candy?
717
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,829
Popcorn's healthier.
718
00:52:20,839 --> 00:52:21,839
Yeah but...
719
00:52:21,839 --> 00:52:23,339
Where's Jared?
720
00:52:23,339 --> 00:52:24,339
He's not coming.
721
00:52:24,339 --> 00:52:26,549
That sucks, I wanted to thank him for the playlist.
722
00:52:26,549 --> 00:52:27,700
I'll let him know.
723
00:52:27,700 --> 00:52:30,820
How much do you think the fruit counts in Raisinettes?
724
00:52:30,820 --> 00:52:34,540
If it was fruit they'd be called chocolate covered raisins.
725
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:36,820
Hi.
726
00:52:38,299 --> 00:52:40,720
So how's it going?
727
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:44,530
I have no idea what to where, it's totally weird because I know so much about him and
728
00:52:44,530 --> 00:52:48,880
yet he knows nothing about me so it's kind of like who do I want to be, ya know?
729
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:52,480
I'm thinking of wearing the black dress, ya know the one I wore--
730
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,940
I was talking about Jared.
731
00:52:54,940 --> 00:52:56,520
How are things going with Jared?
732
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:57,900
Good.
733
00:52:57,900 --> 00:52:58,900
Good?
734
00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:00,700
Yeah they're going really well.
735
00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:03,220
And that's why you're in a tizzy over what to wear?
736
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:07,039
I hope you find this guy because you're being an idiot right now.
737
00:53:07,039 --> 00:53:08,039
Okay...
738
00:53:08,039 --> 00:53:10,440
Well I'm sorry but you are.
739
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:14,630
Jared is a great guy and you're pining over an imaginary friend.
740
00:53:14,630 --> 00:53:17,750
I'm not pining, I just find this whole mystery thing exciting.
741
00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:19,700
It's always exciting, April.
742
00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:24,630
If it's not a journal it's the guy buying your favorite breakfast bar or the guy sitting
743
00:53:24,630 --> 00:53:26,579
across from you reading the Village Voice.
744
00:53:26,579 --> 00:53:30,039
At a certain point you need to say "close enough."
745
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,480
I don't want you to make a mistake.
746
00:53:33,490 --> 00:53:35,410
Like when you say "close enough" what does that mean?
747
00:53:35,410 --> 00:53:36,420
What parts are close enough?
748
00:53:36,420 --> 00:53:37,529
Where are we supposed to trim?
749
00:53:37,529 --> 00:53:38,529
What parts?
750
00:53:38,529 --> 00:53:40,289
I don't know, April.
751
00:53:41,470 --> 00:53:47,190
I don't want "close enough," you can say it's immature or idealistic or naive...
752
00:53:47,190 --> 00:53:51,970
Over speaker: We're now seating for the seven-thirty showing of The Philadelphia Story.
753
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,460
So what are you going to do about Jared?
754
00:53:55,470 --> 00:53:57,350
It's two completely different things.
755
00:53:57,350 --> 00:53:58,680
Except it's not.
756
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,910
Look, I like Jared, I enjoy spending time with him, we're learning about each other.
757
00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:06,099
It's just, I'm trying not to think so much.
758
00:54:06,099 --> 00:54:08,979
You're the one always telling me not to think so much.
759
00:54:08,980 --> 00:54:10,270
Yeah.
760
00:54:11,740 --> 00:54:15,520
If this journal guy ends up being some sort of soulmate
761
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:19,660
I'm going to have to rethink the entire universe.
762
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:46,799
Let me see it.
763
00:54:46,799 --> 00:54:50,039
I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.
764
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,200
Did you read it?
765
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:54,900
I looked for his contact information.
766
00:54:54,900 --> 00:54:56,180
Right.
767
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:58,920
Am I in it?
768
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:03,400
I don't think so, I... no.
769
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,120
Yeah well he's a douche.
770
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,580
He's a liar so don't believe anything that he says.
771
00:55:07,580 --> 00:55:09,951
He plays innocent but he's not.
772
00:55:10,980 --> 00:55:13,760
Do you know where I can find him?
773
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:18,360
Yeah, um, he lives around the corner on forty-second.
774
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:20,400
It's...
775
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:24,000
I don't know the exact address but it's the one with the Bob Marley on the door.
776
00:55:24,980 --> 00:55:27,180
Oh, what is his name?
777
00:55:27,190 --> 00:55:28,660
Dave Moore.
778
00:55:28,660 --> 00:55:30,390
Douchebag Dave.
779
00:55:36,380 --> 00:55:38,380
What are you doing?
780
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,000
That's a good question.
781
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,140
I'm glad I didn't get the limo.
782
00:55:46,140 --> 00:55:47,240
What time is it?
783
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:48,800
Doesn't matter.
784
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:50,840
Did you find him?
785
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,660
Yes, no.
786
00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:56,800
Was it all fireworks and lightening bolts?
787
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,100
I...
788
00:56:00,100 --> 00:56:01,720
I haven't...
789
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:03,700
What are you doing?
790
00:56:08,540 --> 00:56:10,860
Returning the journal.
791
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:16,180
When you were supposed to be getting ready for the gala, which I can't help but notice
792
00:56:16,180 --> 00:56:19,460
you're dressed rather nicely for having forgotten.
793
00:56:20,300 --> 00:56:22,260
Jared, I'm ready, lets go.
794
00:56:22,260 --> 00:56:23,500
I'm not ready.
795
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,240
April I've fallen for you.
796
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,900
See I'm scared too.
797
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:42,020
Because what that really means is that I think I'm falling in love with you.
798
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,900
Which means I am in love with you.
799
00:56:52,820 --> 00:56:54,360
But if you don't feel the same way...
800
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:55,280
I do.
801
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:57,040
I keep waiting.
802
00:56:57,890 --> 00:57:01,990
For you to let go, to trust me.
803
00:57:04,700 --> 00:57:07,740
Now I'm starting to feel like that's not the problem.
804
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:23,260
Burn it.
805
00:57:23,260 --> 00:57:24,740
What?
806
00:57:24,740 --> 00:57:26,039
Burn it.
807
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,610
It's not mine, that's not fair.
808
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,900
Remember when we were talking about love
809
00:57:34,900 --> 00:57:38,420
and you said it had to be mutual or it was pointless?
810
00:57:41,460 --> 00:57:43,900
I think you were right.
811
00:57:49,970 --> 00:57:51,410
Jared please.
812
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:53,760
Good luck.
813
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:13,640
Narrator: And just like that, the urgency associated with the journal had disappeared.
814
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:17,899
In a strange way the pain was a relief, an outing of sorts.
815
00:58:18,900 --> 00:58:22,480
But as April reflected on the many mistakes she had made along the way
816
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:26,240
there was one question she couldn't shake.
817
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:30,680
Why had she been the one to find the journal?
818
00:59:14,420 --> 00:59:15,720
Yeah?
819
00:59:16,260 --> 00:59:17,460
Dave?
820
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,640
Nice place.
821
00:59:47,580 --> 00:59:49,320
You knew Dave?
822
00:59:51,990 --> 00:59:54,539
I found his journal.
823
00:59:54,539 --> 00:59:55,609
Dave kept a journal?
824
00:59:55,609 --> 00:59:56,989
I don't know.
825
00:59:58,160 --> 00:59:58,960
Let's see it.
826
00:59:59,900 --> 01:00:04,860
I prefer to give it to Dave, just because it's personal.
827
01:00:14,420 --> 01:00:15,760
Is he here?
828
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:18,360
He's dead.
829
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:23,020
What do you mean?
830
01:00:23,020 --> 01:00:29,640
He died, he's dead, gone, poof, over.
831
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:43,620
What happened?
832
01:00:43,620 --> 01:00:45,520
He killed himself.
833
01:00:45,980 --> 01:00:47,920
And you care because?
834
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:51,440
I'm sorry.
835
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:52,480
Here.
836
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:54,960
Wait.
837
01:01:12,700 --> 01:01:14,640
This is his mom's place.
838
01:01:17,900 --> 01:01:19,660
She won't see me.
839
01:02:43,260 --> 01:02:44,860
May I help you?
840
01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:47,120
Are you Dave's mother?
841
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,480
Yes.
842
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:54,220
I have something I think you'd like to see.
843
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,320
Please come in.
844
01:03:05,180 --> 01:03:08,060
He never lost the pudge, I'm afraid.
845
01:03:08,860 --> 01:03:11,120
This is a more recent one.
846
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,670
I had no idea he kept a journal.
847
01:03:22,500 --> 01:03:26,860
Even in the afterlife he continues to surprise me.
848
01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:30,180
He had an amazing way of expressing himself.
849
01:03:30,660 --> 01:03:33,920
I feel like we would have been friends.
850
01:03:34,940 --> 01:03:36,580
Thank you.
851
01:03:37,620 --> 01:03:40,860
You're very kind to have made the effort to return it.
852
01:03:40,860 --> 01:03:45,240
Can I... ask you... a question?
853
01:03:45,540 --> 01:03:47,120
Of course.
854
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:52,460
May I ask if you know...
855
01:03:52,460 --> 01:03:53,460
Why?
856
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:58,120
It's hard to believe any one thing could lead to something like this.
857
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:05,260
When he was a boy, David loved sports.
858
01:04:05,269 --> 01:04:08,389
He'd play for hours with the neighborhood kids.
859
01:04:08,820 --> 01:04:12,940
And I remember him coming home one day after school,
860
01:04:12,940 --> 01:04:17,380
I think it was junior high, yes, and he was really upset.
861
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:21,080
He'd been cut from the school basketball team.
862
01:04:21,500 --> 01:04:25,460
I tried talking to him, telling him there was always next year.
863
01:04:25,980 --> 01:04:28,420
He was convinced it was over.
864
01:04:28,420 --> 01:04:32,480
His basketball career had ended in sixth grade.
865
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:37,640
David took everything so hard.
866
01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:43,560
I'm sure it was many things but he...
867
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,520
He just didn't like himself.
868
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,599
Which has to be the toughest thing for a parent to understand.
869
01:04:53,599 --> 01:04:58,279
As a mother you remember him as this big.
870
01:04:58,279 --> 01:05:01,539
Wide-eyed and full of promise.
871
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:06,360
You don't understand how they can't love themselves when you love them
872
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:11,640
so much it's painful. It's not even love anymore.
873
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,580
It's life, it's meaning.
874
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:21,840
You question everything, you blame yourself for not being able
875
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:27,420
to keep the happiness they had as a child bottled up inside them forever.
876
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:31,560
How did it get out?
877
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:33,200
Where did it go?
878
01:05:35,569 --> 01:05:40,309
I just never saw what there wasn't to like?
879
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:46,300
I'm so sorry.
880
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:49,560
Oh Lord, look at me.
881
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:54,740
Oh hello Father.
882
01:05:54,740 --> 01:05:55,680
Something sweet.
883
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:56,640
Oh look at that.
884
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:58,420
How kind of you.
885
01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,060
Come in, please.
886
01:06:00,060 --> 01:06:01,180
Thanks.
887
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:07,360
Father Randy, this is April.
888
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,960
She was returning something of David's.
889
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:13,160
I'm just going to put this in the kitchen.
890
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:16,000
Have a seat, please.
891
01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:23,500
We're you at the memorial?
892
01:06:23,509 --> 01:06:24,509
No.
893
01:06:25,420 --> 01:06:29,040
No, I... didn't really know him.
894
01:06:29,740 --> 01:06:30,760
Oh.
895
01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:38,899
Father Randy gave the most amazing sermon at David's funeral.
896
01:06:38,900 --> 01:06:40,200
Divinely inspired.
897
01:06:40,210 --> 01:06:42,700
Thank you, Donna, thank you.
898
01:06:42,700 --> 01:06:47,480
April here found David's journal on the subway and tracked us down to return it.
899
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,700
Isn't that just the kindest thing?
900
01:06:49,710 --> 01:06:51,460
It is, yes.
901
01:06:51,460 --> 01:06:54,180
I can't bring myself to open it.
902
01:06:54,180 --> 01:06:56,749
Apparently he wrote quite well.
903
01:06:56,749 --> 01:06:58,729
He had a gift.
904
01:07:00,030 --> 01:07:01,380
I should be going.
905
01:07:01,380 --> 01:07:03,829
Oh I have a plate of cookies for ya.
906
01:07:03,829 --> 01:07:04,910
That's not...
907
01:07:04,910 --> 01:07:09,550
People have dropped off a decade's worth of sweets, I swear.
908
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:16,700
That must have been quite a task trying to track us down.
909
01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:18,220
It's nothing really.
910
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:23,920
Thank you.
911
01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:25,420
No, thank you.
912
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:32,040
Very nice to meet you.
913
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:53,840
Did I catch you at a bad time?
914
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:55,540
No, I was...
915
01:09:55,540 --> 01:09:58,820
I hope you don't mind, I got your information from Donna.
916
01:09:59,300 --> 01:10:00,700
Donna Moore.
917
01:10:01,300 --> 01:10:06,120
I was hoping to speak to you about the journal, if you don't mind.
918
01:10:06,140 --> 01:10:08,240
Ugh, that journal.
919
01:10:10,060 --> 01:10:12,580
Well I can also, I can come back another time.
920
01:10:12,590 --> 01:10:14,750
No, I was...
921
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,620
Uh how about if I wait for you over here.
922
01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:22,480
I'll be right out.
923
01:10:32,380 --> 01:10:33,720
What can I help you with?
924
01:10:33,720 --> 01:10:40,040
Well if you don't mind I was hoping to hear about how you went about returning the journal.
925
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:43,080
I'd say tragically.
926
01:10:45,660 --> 01:10:47,660
Is everything okay?
927
01:10:47,660 --> 01:10:51,780
No, I'm sorry, it was a lot to take in yesterday.
928
01:10:51,780 --> 01:10:53,100
Oh I'm sure.
929
01:10:58,040 --> 01:11:01,280
When I first found the journal...
930
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,460
Narrator: April retold the entire journey of the journal.
931
01:11:04,470 --> 01:11:09,190
From the subway to the Craigslist guy to the fight with Jared
932
01:11:09,190 --> 01:11:12,740
to the failed drop off attempt at Ms. Moore's home.
933
01:11:12,740 --> 01:11:18,300
Once April had reached the end of her tale she felt lighter but no less confused.
934
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,930
Oh ye of little faith.
935
01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:25,120
That is quite a story.
936
01:11:26,580 --> 01:11:30,060
The odds, the odds must have been...
937
01:11:30,070 --> 01:11:32,270
Doesn't matter, does it?
938
01:11:32,270 --> 01:11:33,250
Pardon?
939
01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:39,160
It's too late, I tried to return the journal as quickly as I could, I mean I did but
940
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:42,400
I slowed down after I met Jared and--
941
01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:46,360
April I hope you're not feeling guilty over David's death.
942
01:11:48,460 --> 01:11:52,780
If you thought returning the journal would somehow thwart his suicide,
943
01:11:52,780 --> 01:11:54,440
I don't think so.
944
01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:56,020
It's just...
945
01:11:56,020 --> 01:12:01,720
I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone in how he felt.
946
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:03,620
Maybe it would have...
947
01:12:03,620 --> 01:12:04,960
It wouldn't have.
948
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:07,760
How do you know?
949
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,160
David was deeply troubled.
950
01:12:12,660 --> 01:12:15,280
And uh also,
951
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:17,140
because it's my journal.
952
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:24,140
The odds must have been in the billions.
953
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:26,770
Did you just say...?
954
01:12:27,300 --> 01:12:29,100
Yeah, I wrote it.
955
01:12:29,100 --> 01:12:31,020
It's mine.
956
01:12:39,180 --> 01:12:40,480
Brilliant.
957
01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:42,220
Wait...
958
01:12:42,220 --> 01:12:44,440
That's what I'm saying, the odds.
959
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,660
It appears that you and I were on the same mission.
960
01:12:51,660 --> 01:12:55,840
You see I wrote the journal while I was in my twenties, but I wanted David to know that
961
01:12:55,840 --> 01:13:05,250
here was someone who felt lost, isolated, scared, and eventually somehow made it through.
962
01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:11,130
And like you, I felt a measure of guilt over his death.
963
01:13:12,340 --> 01:13:17,600
As if my intention somehow had the opposite affect.
964
01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:24,100
I started looking for reasons.
965
01:13:24,540 --> 01:13:30,520
You'd think I'd know by now that you can't force a reason upon a greater unknown plan.
966
01:13:31,480 --> 01:13:33,860
It made me feel less alone.
967
01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:36,200
Pardon?
968
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:41,620
The journal made me feel less alone.
969
01:13:47,580 --> 01:13:50,320
Well thank you for sharing your story.
970
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:51,720
Thank you.
971
01:13:54,100 --> 01:13:55,860
I should go now.
972
01:14:01,380 --> 01:14:09,200
There uh... there was a wise man who once said, "you can't always get what you want,
973
01:14:09,210 --> 01:14:13,890
but if you try sometime you just might get what you need."
974
01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:17,340
The odds, billions.
975
01:14:37,260 --> 01:14:40,320
Narrator: April thought back to choices she had made,
976
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:43,160
mostly choices she had not made.
977
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:48,900
Choices like not searching for a new job because she was sure the hours would be worse,
978
01:14:48,900 --> 01:14:51,840
or not joining friends on a ski trip to Vermont
979
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:55,120
for she was sure to embarrass herself on the slopes.
980
01:14:55,120 --> 01:15:00,160
It occurred to her that she was so intensely focused on the outcome of her choices that
981
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,660
she was missing the moments in-between.
982
01:15:02,660 --> 01:15:06,820
But it's the moments that give meaning to the outcome.
983
01:15:06,820 --> 01:15:09,600
It's the moments that provide the allegiance,
984
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:12,500
the excitement,
985
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:15,440
the sorrow,
986
01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:17,920
the faith,
987
01:15:18,660 --> 01:15:20,320
the love,
988
01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,800
of life.
989
01:15:22,380 --> 01:15:23,840
With moments...
990
01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:26,960
Mr. - nothing's really ever lost.
991
01:15:32,380 --> 01:15:34,480
So have you talked to him?
992
01:15:35,300 --> 01:15:37,360
He's not taking my calls.
993
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:39,200
Don't blame him.
994
01:15:39,860 --> 01:15:42,580
Lost out to a gay, dead man.
995
01:15:42,580 --> 01:15:44,520
A priest, actually.
996
01:15:44,520 --> 01:15:45,720
Oh god...
997
01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:49,460
Thank you for supporting me, no, really, I appreciate it.
998
01:15:49,460 --> 01:15:51,340
Almost got you a cat.
999
01:15:51,350 --> 01:15:53,770
I am not ready for a cat.
1000
01:15:54,220 --> 01:15:55,560
We need a game plan.
1001
01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:56,760
Yes.
1002
01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:01,140
Got it.
1003
01:16:01,140 --> 01:16:05,820
Text him an n-a-k-e-d photo of yourself, with your face showing.
1004
01:16:05,830 --> 01:16:07,990
It says so much.
1005
01:16:08,740 --> 01:16:10,440
Yes, yes it does.
1006
01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:29,880
Call you tonight.
1007
01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:32,220
Okay, hey, with your face!
1008
01:16:32,220 --> 01:16:33,200
Uh huh.
1009
01:16:35,420 --> 01:16:36,300
Carly?
1010
01:16:36,300 --> 01:16:38,600
Hun, tie your shoe.
1011
01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:31,100
April.
1012
01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:32,780
Ow.
1013
01:17:32,780 --> 01:17:33,300
Are you okay?
1014
01:17:33,300 --> 01:17:34,300
Ow!
1015
01:17:35,220 --> 01:17:36,440
Ohhh.
1016
01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:40,320
I have a concussion.
1017
01:17:40,320 --> 01:17:43,040
How many fingers am I holding up?
1018
01:17:43,040 --> 01:17:45,200
Mmm two?
1019
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:48,160
Yeah, you're okay.
1020
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,240
No, I have a concussion.
1021
01:17:51,180 --> 01:17:53,780
What are you doing here, April?
1022
01:17:54,700 --> 01:17:55,700
I'm trying...
1023
01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:57,680
To prove you're crazy?
1024
01:17:58,900 --> 01:18:01,000
Did it work?
1025
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:02,620
Mission accomplished.
1026
01:18:02,630 --> 01:18:04,940
And I'm sorry I...
1027
01:18:04,940 --> 01:18:06,760
I want to be with you.
1028
01:18:06,760 --> 01:18:11,720
I've been looking for you for so long, long before I found this journal and I maybe,
1029
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:14,020
I guess I got scared.
1030
01:18:14,020 --> 01:18:15,350
I understand.
1031
01:18:16,980 --> 01:18:19,620
I've been fooling myself into believing that I...
1032
01:18:19,620 --> 01:18:20,740
Ow.
1033
01:18:22,140 --> 01:18:23,680
What?
1034
01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:28,580
I get it.
1035
01:18:29,040 --> 01:18:30,540
You do?
1036
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:45,760
Fear.
1037
01:18:49,380 --> 01:18:52,380
Is one of the signs, ya know?
1038
01:18:54,700 --> 01:18:56,180
How's your head?
1039
01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,400
I'm still concussed.
1040
01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:00,640
Yeah?
1041
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:04,160
See if this helps.
1042
01:19:08,020 --> 01:19:10,940
Mmm...
1043
01:19:10,940 --> 01:19:11,960
Nuh uh.
1044
01:19:11,960 --> 01:19:12,660
No?
1045
01:19:12,660 --> 01:19:13,360
No.
1046
01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:14,140
Nothing?
1047
01:19:14,140 --> 01:19:14,900
No.
1048
01:19:14,900 --> 01:19:15,600
Again.
1049
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:16,580
Again?
1050
01:19:16,580 --> 01:19:17,240
Uh huh.
1051
01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:18,440
Okay.
1052
01:19:29,400 --> 01:19:30,860
Better?
1053
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:36,380
Come on.
1054
01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:45,520
Why don't you let doctor Jared give you a thorough examination.
1055
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:48,340
That is so creepy.
1056
01:19:51,640 --> 01:19:52,960
Narrator: For the briefest of moments
1057
01:19:52,960 --> 01:19:58,080
April wondered if she and Jared would spend the rest of their lives together.
1058
01:19:58,080 --> 01:19:59,220
And then,
1059
01:19:59,220 --> 01:20:00,880
just as quickly,
1060
01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:08,080
she wondered what they'd be having for dinner.
69082
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