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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 . 2 00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,950 Narrator: Meet April. 3 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:53,600 She finds coffee shops fascinating, particularly 4 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:58,120 in the afternoon when they house a collection of loners. 5 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,960 An empty picture frame, once hung as a fashion 6 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,480 she had fancied from a television show, 7 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,380 had now become a resting place for lost dreams. 8 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:32,240 She refers to past relationships as "time spent," 9 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,180 and once broke up with a man because 10 00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:38,020 his tattoo failed to hold any special meaning. 11 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:45,340 April's greatest fears are in an equal and ironic measure. 12 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,660 That of living a purposeless life, 13 00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:52,860 and the fear of God speaking to her. 14 00:02:53,780 --> 00:04:00,360 (Subway noise) 15 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:05,680 April: Mirror mirror, truthfully lied, sharing one heart, 16 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:10,140 running two minds, breathless, tired, 17 00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:16,240 Male voice: muddle that binds, I am Jekyll, no need to Hyde. 18 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,280 Narrator: There was no name, address or number indicating its owner. 19 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,100 There were clues however. 20 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:34,160 Places he had been, and first names of people he had spoken with. 21 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:39,000 April had read fifteen pages of intimate thoughts by this unknown individual 22 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,080 and for the first time in nearly three years she had felt a pang, a stabbing ache. 23 00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:47,080 Was it guilt? 24 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,260 No, it was her once dormant friend loneliness. 25 00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:56,620 She decided to end her voyeuristic crime on the final line of the fifteenth page. 26 00:04:56,620 --> 00:05:02,980 It read, (Male voice) "her death left me feeling as free as I had felt in a very long time, 27 00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:06,730 and I'll never forgive myself for it." 28 00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:15,860 Narrator: As she drifted off to sleep, she imagined the sun-soaked afternoon 29 00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:19,000 when she would return the journal to its creator. 30 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,020 (Door opens) 31 00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:27,900 (Workplace noise) 32 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,540 (Typing) 33 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,760 (Clock ticking) 34 00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:42,760 (Clock ticking) 35 00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:51,060 (Clock ticking) 36 00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:55,420 (Traffic) 37 00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:03,080 Narrator: He could be anyone... 38 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,820 but could he be everyone? 39 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:13,099 Was it possible that there were hundreds, thousands, even millions of men wearing invisible 40 00:06:13,099 --> 00:06:18,959 armor to mask their profound understanding of self? Of life? 41 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,080 And if so, was she to blame for a lack of effort 42 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,160 in attempting to penetrate this protective shell? 43 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,620 Suddenly April felt culpable for her failed relationships. 44 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,840 (Background music) 45 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,080 How ya going to track him down? 46 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,180 Not sure. 47 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:51,700 So far I've posted it on Craigslist. 48 00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:53,020 Any response? 49 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:56,500 Just a couple of guys sending pictures of their you-know-what's. 50 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,900 Forward please. 51 00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:00,200 Not worth it, trust me. 52 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,360 Oooh, you looked. 53 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,000 Such a perv. 54 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,080 Oh shush. 55 00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:06,880 Maybe one of them was his? 56 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:07,620 No. 57 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,620 Oh, right, I forgot, he's perfect. 58 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,420 You haven't read his stuff. 59 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,000 So let me. 60 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:15,980 I can't. 61 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,140 It's personal. 62 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:18,920 You read it. 63 00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:22,630 I was trying to find a name or something. 64 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:27,540 Fine. 65 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:28,840 Woo hoo! 66 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,020 Shhh. 67 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:34,680 Jesus, you gotta hear to draw? 68 00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:40,480 I'll read one passage. 69 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,520 I occupy my being with obtuse tasks, 70 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,220 in the hopes of freezing the circulating matter inside my head. 71 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,700 I shut my eyes and concur with irrational fantasies 72 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,720 that fool me into believing in their lucidity. 73 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,580 I ponder the relevance of being me. 74 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,260 He's gay. 75 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:17,800 Stop it. 76 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,840 Absolutely. 77 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,200 He talks about women a lot. 78 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,800 Because he wants to be one. 79 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,600 He's not gay. 80 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:27,660 Is there some dark relationship past you've never told me about? 81 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:28,580 What? 82 00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:29,960 No. 83 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,740 Then why in the five years that I've known you has the one person you've fallen in love 84 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:38,149 with been an unknown, depressed, gay man that you will never meet? 85 00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:41,469 I'm not afraid of love if that's what you mean. 86 00:08:41,469 --> 00:08:42,349 No? 87 00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:43,380 No. 88 00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,140 What was wrong with Robert again? 89 00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:47,320 Laura, please. 90 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,090 Right, he chewed with his mouth open. 91 00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:50,890 Sorry if I had a pet peeve. 92 00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,240 And that John guy? 93 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,080 John? 94 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,220 You know, the one who shaved his junk. 95 00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:56,120 Josh. 96 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:56,980 Josh. 97 00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,460 It was his whole body, he shaved his entire body. 98 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:00,960 Right. Too metrosexual. 99 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:03,399 It was like cuddling with an alien. 100 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,560 And besides, it wasn't about that. He... 101 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,620 He never listened. 102 00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:10,880 Right. 103 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:12,190 The orange peels. 104 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,120 That was an example, okay? 105 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,050 Laura, he never listened to me. 106 00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:17,430 How are you not seeing this? 107 00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:18,180 Shhh. 108 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,400 Calm yourself, Dali. 109 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,640 They just weren't the right match. 110 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,020 Isn't that possible? 111 00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:35,180 It is possible but it's also possible you need to make it the right match. 112 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,200 I would have married Yusef. 113 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,070 Yeah, to prove you were liberal. 114 00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:47,720 Okay, lets say you do track this guy down, and he turns out to be straight, which there's 115 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,660 no way in hell but whatever, you know he's going to be balding and fat. 116 00:09:52,540 --> 00:09:54,800 I mean come on, then what? 117 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:56,920 How fat? 118 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:57,920 Ginormous. 119 00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,960 I don't know. 120 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,060 Looks like the only way to prove my point is to help you find this fat ass. 121 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,660 So, what do we know about him? 122 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:12,680 He lives in the city and he works as a consultant of some sort. 123 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,680 Wherever he lives there are Hispanic men around the corner waiting to be picked up for work. 124 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:22,840 Jesus, April, that's one in a thousand corners of New York. 125 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,980 What's next, he's Jewish? 126 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,580 He listens to blues. 127 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,660 He goes to a park with a pool. 128 00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:32,120 And he eats hotdogs from food carts. 129 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,020 Wait. 130 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,360 I know. 131 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:35,060 Gross. 132 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,140 No. No. 133 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,980 Astoria Park. 134 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:44,080 There's a park in Astoria with an olympic-sized pool 135 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,220 and there's a huge Hispanic area around there. 136 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,200 Here's the plan. 137 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,240 This Saturday we print up fliers and we hang them all over Astoria. 138 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,120 We are so on to this Queen. 139 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,560 (Typing) 140 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,800 Narrator: What happened next would haunt her the entire night through. 141 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,680 (E-mail notification) 142 00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:20,300 She had received yet another reply to her Craigslist ad. 143 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,460 (Thunder) 144 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:39,480 (Door slam) 145 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:48,020 How do you know it's him? 146 00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:51,650 I copied the poem that he wrote and asked him to fill out the last line. 147 00:11:51,650 --> 00:11:53,500 He got it right. 148 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,660 Sounds like you. 149 00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:56,900 What if he looks like Chris Pratt? 150 00:11:57,980 --> 00:12:00,760 Ya know, you would make cute babies with Chris Pratt. 151 00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:05,120 If Chris Pratt kept a journal I bet it would be so steamy. 152 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:10,460 Like, s-e-xual escapade after s-e-xual escapade. 153 00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:14,240 I bet he's violent in bed. 154 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,600 Like, angry s-e-x all the time. 155 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:22,880 I know he seems so sweet but I bet he has angry, angry s-e-x. 156 00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:24,580 Angry. 157 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:25,500 (Laughs) 158 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:28,700 Oof. 159 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:34,740 You're infuriating. 160 00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:36,260 What? 161 00:12:36,260 --> 00:12:37,640 I know what you're thinking. 162 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:38,460 You do? 163 00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:40,300 You wish it wasn't him. 164 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,160 I know it's not going to be Chris Pratt. 165 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,860 No, you wish you hadn't found him so quickly. 166 00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:49,210 You wanted more time to dream about this guy. 167 00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:50,730 I'm right, aren't I? 168 00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:53,230 That is f'd up. 169 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,120 You know how I know? 170 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,360 How? 171 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,260 I knew a girl like you in college. 172 00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,740 Completely cynical about love. 173 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:04,440 Or idealistic, or both, I don't know which. 174 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:10,300 Anyhow, one day this cute boy asked her out, she was super excited, talk of the floor. 175 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:14,680 The day before they were supposed to go out she called up the guy and postponed the date. 176 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,840 Then she did it another eight times. 177 00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,640 Eventually the guy gave up. 178 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,920 You know why she kept cancelling? 179 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,060 I do not. 180 00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,400 She preferred the gossip to the date. 181 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,960 You know what happened to her? 182 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,650 I do not. 183 00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:30,690 You better love cats, that's all I'm saying. 184 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,660 I just haven't been this excited in years. 185 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,210 You are the only person who could turn that statement into a negative. 186 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,780 Okay. Let's move, Carly. 187 00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:49,020 Call me when you're done c-l-i-m... climaxing. 188 00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,900 Oh, thank you. 189 00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:52,960 I love it. 190 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,550 I'll hang it on my wall. 191 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,420 Okay, and if I don't hear from you by five, I'm calling the police. 192 00:13:58,940 --> 00:13:59,940 Come on, Carly. 193 00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:01,880 (Door opens) 194 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:02,960 Here we go. 195 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:03,960 Okay? 196 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,440 Here. 197 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,440 Mmm hmm. 198 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,480 (Door closes) 199 00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:13,180 (Door chime) 200 00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,940 I'll have a little bit more. 201 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,440 (Diner noise) 202 00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,940 Have a seat anywhere you like, hun. 203 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,620 Narrator: The diner was to be the rendezvous point. 204 00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,540 And this was a calculated choice. 205 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:34,120 April found diners romantic in both their simplicity and history. 206 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,120 (Door chime) 207 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,320 (Camera click) 208 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:32,000 (Music) 209 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,100 April? 210 00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:35,580 Yes? 211 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,440 Bill. 212 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,849 When you described yourself? 213 00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:47,589 You left out beautiful. 214 00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:50,160 Oh, thank you. 215 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,080 Cool place, huh? 216 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,620 Yeah. 217 00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:00,120 Thanks. 218 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,580 So... 219 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,820 You found my journal? 220 00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:10,980 Yes. 221 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,400 Yes, I did. 222 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,340 It dropped out of your backpack on the subway. 223 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:19,180 Yeah, that damn thing. 224 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,900 It's always giving me trouble. 225 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,900 And uh... 226 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,280 And I have a confession. 227 00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:37,600 I did read quite a bit, all of it actually. 228 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,640 Did you? 229 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:44,260 I know I shouldn't have and it's totally wrong and rude and I completely 230 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:47,140 invaded your personal thoughts but it really wasn't my intention. 231 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:50,600 I really wanted to look for clues to help return the journal 232 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,080 but then as I read it I just... 233 00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:57,900 I wanted to read more. 234 00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:01,980 You have an amazing way of expressing yourself. 235 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:07,280 And I found myself feeling as though you were describing my thoughts. 236 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,680 What if I was? 237 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,040 Was what? 238 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,560 Describing you. 239 00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:23,120 I find your writing poetic. 240 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,860 It's raw honesty. 241 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:27,320 I think a lot of people feel like you do 242 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:33,200 but are afraid to admit it or don't know how to express it and I just really wanted to tell you that. 243 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,360 I know you don't know me and you might not care 244 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:38,980 but I also think you really shouldn't feel so guilty. 245 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:44,320 I think it's human nature to feel conflicting things. 246 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,980 Guilty? 247 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,240 For what? 248 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:54,200 You know, um... like, your sister's death. 249 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,000 It was my fault? 250 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 No! 251 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,620 It's not your fault, that's what I'm saying. 252 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,660 How could you be responsible for her illness? 253 00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:08,500 Just because you don't want that burden, which is natural I think, it doesn't mean you sped 254 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,760 up the process or had a negative impact. 255 00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:14,240 Okay, you're good. 256 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,299 This ain't your first rodeo I see. 257 00:18:18,299 --> 00:18:20,579 I wasn't sure at first. 258 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,200 Sure about what? 259 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,210 Right. 260 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:34,660 Well, uh, we were so close, my sister and I. 261 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,780 You want me to keep talking about my sister? 262 00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:46,320 I just wanted to return the journal and let you know 263 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,740 that you're not alone in how you feel. 264 00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,871 I should get going. 265 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,200 Hang on, should I follow you or... 266 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,240 What? 267 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,940 No, I don't think so. 268 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,199 Don't you want the journal back? 269 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,780 It's your journal. 270 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,280 Right? 271 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,380 Sorry to break like this but are we still playing? 272 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:08,640 Playing what? 273 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,560 Role play. 274 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,160 Excuse me? 275 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,540 Role play. 276 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,860 No, I hear you but I just wanted to return the journal. 277 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,940 It's not mine. 278 00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:26,220 You knew the poem. 279 00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:31,860 It's not a poem, it's the lyrics to a Pink Floyd song. 280 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,100 Comfortably Numb. 281 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,140 Why didn't you post in the Lost and Found section? 282 00:19:40,149 --> 00:19:41,149 I did. 283 00:19:41,149 --> 00:19:43,860 No, you posted in Missed Connections. 284 00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:52,200 There's a community of role players that post scenarios and then meet up. 285 00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:56,420 Last week I was a cable guy late for my appointment. 286 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,960 Still have welts. 287 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,380 That explains the photos. 288 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:04,760 Sorry. 289 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,040 No worries. 290 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,120 (Laughs) 291 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,660 Hey. 292 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,580 If you don't find the guy I'm happy to play the role. 293 00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:20,340 Yeah, that's good to know. 294 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:25,880 (Door chime) 295 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,140 (Laughing) 296 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,580 I would die. 297 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,180 Can you believe it? 298 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,820 Narrator: There are a number of words that would accurately describe April's condition. 299 00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,480 But "concerned" trumped them all. 300 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,639 How had she posted the journal in the wrong section? 301 00:20:43,639 --> 00:20:47,639 Let alone a section reserved for courting appealing strangers? 302 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:51,500 Freud would have a field day with this, she thought. 303 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,020 (Kettle whistle) 304 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,640 (Coughing) 305 00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:18,480 Hi Chris. Um... 306 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,760 It's April, I'm just calling to take a day off tomorrow, if that's okay with you. 307 00:21:23,929 --> 00:21:26,200 I'm really not feeling well. 308 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,700 I have a fever and I was hoping to take tomorrow off. 309 00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:32,900 Um, anyway, uh, call me back. Thanks. 310 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:45,240 (Printer noise) 311 00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:56,340 (Traffic) 312 00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:08,460 (Camera click) 313 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,760 Male voice: Sometimes I feel I'm waiting for a message in a bottle to wash ashore, 314 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,581 only the message is a map and it's leading me to an alternate universe 315 00:22:30,581 --> 00:22:34,040 where another version of me is living the way I was meant to live. 316 00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:50,220 (Waves) 317 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,920 What ya advertising there? 318 00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:14,760 Found a journal on the subway. 319 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,700 Yep. 320 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,640 Ever heard of Paul Piscerni? 321 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,680 I don't think so. 322 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,120 Yep. 323 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,800 Should I have? 324 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,039 That's a great question. 325 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,259 He was an actor. 326 00:23:36,559 --> 00:23:38,659 We served together in Vietnam. 327 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,780 He died yesterday. 328 00:23:43,740 --> 00:23:45,380 Sorry to hear that. 329 00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:47,280 Thank you. 330 00:23:47,980 --> 00:23:49,309 But I never met the man. 331 00:23:49,309 --> 00:23:51,471 We served in the same war, that's all. 332 00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:55,680 Help me up there, will ya? 333 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:58,700 (Grunts) 334 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,020 Thank you. 335 00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:10,580 Would you mind placing that for me? 336 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,600 Who are they? 337 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,260 Oh, mostly family and friends. 338 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,260 And when I ran out of those 339 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:49,520 I began including people from popular culture during my lifetime. 340 00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:54,940 Actors, politicians and the like. 341 00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:58,400 The ones that seemed nice. 342 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,380 Nineteen-ninety-nine. 343 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:06,610 That was the year I had twenty-one funerals to attend. 344 00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,380 Yep, twenty-one. 345 00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:11,060 Yep. 346 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,260 The twenty-first funeral had only three attendees. 347 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,290 Most of the rest had passed on. 348 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:24,300 Pretty soon I found myself the only one left to console. 349 00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:26,540 Yep. 350 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:30,291 Wasn't worth the travel anymore. 351 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,300 That is... 352 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,200 I'm sorry. 353 00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,160 Why? 354 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,420 Your family and friends, you lost them. 355 00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:42,570 Lost them how? 356 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,540 Didn't you say they passed away? 357 00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:46,440 Yep. 358 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,720 Moved on to ride the fluff in the sky. 359 00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:53,940 But nothing's really lost. 360 00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:54,940 Look. 361 00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:57,480 There's adventure. 362 00:25:58,060 --> 00:26:00,280 And laughs. 363 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,611 Late night philosophy. 364 00:26:03,940 --> 00:26:05,860 And bar brawls. 365 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,420 And love. 366 00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:10,720 Yep. 367 00:26:11,580 --> 00:26:13,000 Lots of love. 368 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:17,981 Nothing's really ever lost. 369 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,020 Do you mind if I take a photo? 370 00:26:24,020 --> 00:26:25,580 Suit yourself. 371 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:27,560 (Camera click) 372 00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:29,340 (Camera click) 373 00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:40,440 Narrator: April's mind raced with questions. 374 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,020 Had she offended him by taking the photograph? 375 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,260 Where was he going? 376 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:47,180 Did his memories provide sufficient companionship? 377 00:26:47,180 --> 00:26:48,539 Did he think he was cursed? 378 00:26:48,539 --> 00:26:51,779 Had he learned the meaning of life? 379 00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:53,960 Did he have regrets? 380 00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:55,820 Did he fear anything? 381 00:26:55,820 --> 00:26:59,000 Was there anything left for him to fear? 382 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:11,780 (Subway noise) 383 00:27:11,780 --> 00:27:14,680 Narrator: April imagined herself as an eighty-year-old woman, 384 00:27:15,860 --> 00:27:18,020 and she wondered how many rocks she will have collected 385 00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:21,300 before needing to add popular culture to the mix. 386 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:27,860 (Subway noise) 387 00:27:54,140 --> 00:28:00,360 (Street traffic) 388 00:28:17,580 --> 00:28:26,540 (Waves) 389 00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:29,180 Oop, sorry. 390 00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:31,260 I didn't see you there. 391 00:28:31,260 --> 00:28:33,400 Sorry, um, is this yours? 392 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,800 I was just wondering if you dropped this? 393 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,271 No. 394 00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:42,140 Are you sure? 395 00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:44,119 Yeah, I'm fairly certain. 396 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:48,980 Oh, it's just I saw it fall out of a backpack just like yours. 397 00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:49,700 Oh! 398 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,060 Target. 399 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,360 They were on sale. 400 00:28:58,700 --> 00:28:59,680 I'm sorry. 401 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:00,880 Don't be. 402 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,740 I love Target. 403 00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:06,240 Uh, hey! 404 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,240 You live around here? 405 00:29:08,149 --> 00:29:11,129 Um, yeah, a couple blocks up. 406 00:29:14,139 --> 00:29:16,119 I was going to grab... 407 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:17,920 (Chuckle) 408 00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:19,980 I was going to grab a bite to eat. 409 00:29:20,780 --> 00:29:22,300 You should come. 410 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,840 I've got something. 411 00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:30,100 Uh, Jared. 412 00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:33,720 April. 413 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,980 Maybe next time. 414 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:57,880 (Subway noise) 415 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,560 (Subway noise) 416 00:30:41,720 --> 00:31:25,760 (Music) 417 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:34,800 (Children playing) 418 00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:39,020 It's not like if you say something it's going to jinx it. 419 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,160 That's it though. 420 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,720 We talked about books, music, traveling. 421 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,040 Spent a couple of hours. 422 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,479 Oh, he works for a food bank. 423 00:31:46,479 --> 00:31:51,379 He has a cute ass, he smelled like musky heaven, give me the good stuff. 424 00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:52,700 He did have a cute butt. 425 00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:53,980 Ugh, finally. 426 00:31:53,990 --> 00:31:57,030 Hey, Carly honey, tie your shoe. 427 00:31:57,030 --> 00:31:59,170 Okay so what's wrong with him? 428 00:31:59,170 --> 00:32:00,160 Nothing. 429 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,820 He's smart, funny, artsy. 430 00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:07,340 But we spent a couple of hours, I don't really know much about him yet. 431 00:32:07,340 --> 00:32:10,500 God, please stop being so guarded, it's irritating. 432 00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,160 When are you going to go out again? 433 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,760 We'll see if he calls. 434 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,340 Of course he will, you're adorable. 435 00:32:15,340 --> 00:32:17,100 And he works for a food bank. 436 00:32:17,429 --> 00:32:19,119 What is that supposed to mean? 437 00:32:19,119 --> 00:32:20,119 He's broke. 438 00:32:20,119 --> 00:32:21,340 I don't care. 439 00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:24,419 I for one have never regretted marrying for money. 440 00:32:24,419 --> 00:32:25,419 Laura. 441 00:32:25,419 --> 00:32:26,779 I haven't. 442 00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:29,819 You don't ever think what if you waited... for something more... 443 00:32:29,820 --> 00:32:30,880 More magical? 444 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:31,740 Nah. 445 00:32:32,420 --> 00:32:34,780 One day you wake up and you realize you have spent years 446 00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:37,360 looking for something that doesn't exist. 447 00:32:38,780 --> 00:32:41,020 Well, it doesn't exist for me. 448 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,479 Might happen for you though. 449 00:32:43,479 --> 00:32:46,210 Hey, Carly honey, tie your shoe. 450 00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:48,940 So you think everyone settles. 451 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,799 I think love is more a mindset than emotion. 452 00:32:53,220 --> 00:32:55,340 Sounds like you don't believe love exists. 453 00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:58,499 I think we mold it into what we need it to be. 454 00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:00,160 So it becomes important to find someone 455 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,760 who agrees with you on whatever philosophy that is. 456 00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:07,720 Or you can just find a guy with a cute butt. 457 00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:09,540 I'm serious. 458 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,450 Carly! 459 00:33:11,450 --> 00:33:12,730 Your shoe! 460 00:33:17,399 --> 00:33:18,559 Do you... 461 00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:20,220 love Tom? 462 00:33:20,230 --> 00:33:21,370 Yes. 463 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,800 As much as I could love anybody. 464 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:29,840 Even if I had married him believing he was a soulmate or whatever, 465 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,040 it would still be work. 466 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,020 It's always work. 467 00:33:34,020 --> 00:33:36,280 When is it too much work? 468 00:33:36,289 --> 00:33:40,360 Yeah well, I'm not sure there's just one answer to that question. 469 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,220 I mean, if he hits you. 470 00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:43,620 Of course. 471 00:33:43,620 --> 00:33:45,600 Unless your into that kind of thing. 472 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,460 Carly, what did I tell you? 473 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:03,940 Narrator: April wondered, with time were her expectations growing or diminishing? 474 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,240 She found herself concocting a dangerous notion. 475 00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:11,280 She wanted to fuse Jared with the journal author. 476 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:25,040 (Phone rings) 477 00:34:46,260 --> 00:34:52,060 (City noise) 478 00:34:52,380 --> 00:35:07,320 (Background music) 479 00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:11,840 Lady. 480 00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:19,280 mmm, that is awful. 481 00:35:20,220 --> 00:35:21,560 (Laughs) 482 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,720 Greatest love song ever. 483 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,180 Really? 484 00:35:30,860 --> 00:35:31,980 Just listen. 485 00:35:31,980 --> 00:35:58,520 (Music) 486 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,520 What did I tell ya? 487 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,940 I can see how a man might think that. 488 00:36:04,420 --> 00:36:05,520 Are you kidding me? 489 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,020 It's about a woman following her man back to his hometown 490 00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:11,380 after he failed to achieve his dreams. 491 00:36:11,380 --> 00:36:12,670 Exactly. 492 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:19,140 And the brilliance is, is just when you think the song is about him you suddenly realize 493 00:36:19,140 --> 00:36:23,380 it's not, about him, at all. It's really about her. 494 00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:27,030 That's kind of my point, it doesn't say anything about how he feels about her. 495 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:35,760 It's nothing personal. 496 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,180 No, this is important. 497 00:36:37,180 --> 00:36:40,580 This is artistic perfection. 498 00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:42,469 It's a catchy tune. 499 00:36:42,469 --> 00:36:43,589 (Laughs) 500 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,440 Okay, okay. 501 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:47,560 Okay. 502 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,020 How about this. 503 00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:51,900 Why does it matter? 504 00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:53,500 If he loves her, why does it matter? 505 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,410 I don't know, maybe because she's moving to another state for him? 506 00:36:56,410 --> 00:36:58,119 Because she loves him. 507 00:36:58,119 --> 00:37:00,559 Yeah, she loves him. 508 00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:01,559 No. 509 00:37:01,559 --> 00:37:03,369 No, you can't do that. 510 00:37:03,369 --> 00:37:06,059 It might be one sided is all I'm saying. 511 00:37:06,060 --> 00:37:10,080 Maybe he's letter her come back with him in an effort to hold on to his dreams, 512 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,320 like a keepsake. 513 00:37:11,540 --> 00:37:14,680 Maybe that's what she is to him, a kind of comfort. 514 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,980 No, you're projecting, there's nothing about that in the song. 515 00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:20,480 You said, "greatest love song ever" 516 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,240 except there's nothing about how he feels towards her. 517 00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:25,040 Case closed. 518 00:37:27,860 --> 00:37:29,420 (Laughs) 519 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,760 Do you think she loves him? 520 00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:44,080 I'd say... she thinks she does, but maybe it's not shared, we just don't know. 521 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:48,600 The look, how can someone ever truly give love to someone else if they're waiting 522 00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,660 for it to be returned in equal measure? 523 00:37:50,660 --> 00:37:52,670 That's conditional love. 524 00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:55,110 All I'm saying is if it isn't mutual it isn't going to last 525 00:37:55,110 --> 00:37:58,490 and when I think of love I think of something lasting. 526 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:07,220 You ever been in love? 527 00:38:09,060 --> 00:38:10,090 Yes. 528 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,040 But it didn't last. 529 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,040 Nope. 530 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,119 So was it love? 531 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,630 Not the kind I wanted it to be. 532 00:38:19,180 --> 00:38:20,320 And you? 533 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,740 Yeah, I've been in love. 534 00:38:23,860 --> 00:38:25,980 Mmmhmm, how many times? 535 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,440 Three and a half. 536 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,300 Me too. 537 00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:38,280 Maybe the half we dated at the same time. 538 00:38:39,540 --> 00:38:40,980 Oh my god. 539 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,140 Was he six foot tall? 540 00:38:43,140 --> 00:38:44,140 Yes. 541 00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:46,560 Good looking, smart, funny? 542 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:47,660 Yes, yes and yes. 543 00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:50,260 With a Cheshire cat tattoo near his vagina? 544 00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:51,940 No. 545 00:38:51,940 --> 00:38:53,341 Really? 546 00:38:54,780 --> 00:38:55,880 Yes. 547 00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:58,340 Surprised that didn't last. 548 00:38:58,340 --> 00:39:01,260 Oh, how judgy are you? 549 00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:02,340 Meow. 550 00:39:02,349 --> 00:39:07,569 Look it's not like relationships come with an expiration date. 551 00:39:07,569 --> 00:39:10,489 You know, you just... 552 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,520 Come here. 553 00:39:17,820 --> 00:39:19,030 Why? 554 00:39:20,180 --> 00:39:22,140 I want to try something. 555 00:39:22,740 --> 00:39:24,600 I bet. 556 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,580 Turn around. 557 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:28,940 It's not weird, turn around. 558 00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:32,540 You've got a great ass. 559 00:39:32,540 --> 00:39:33,560 But we can talk about that later. 560 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:34,779 Or not. 561 00:39:34,779 --> 00:39:36,339 Hands by your side. 562 00:39:36,339 --> 00:39:38,419 I'm not going to look at your ass. 563 00:39:38,430 --> 00:39:39,869 Much. 564 00:39:39,869 --> 00:39:43,269 I'm kidding, turn around, come on, hands by your side. 565 00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:46,160 Close your eyes. 566 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:48,640 Fall back. 567 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:49,420 What? 568 00:39:49,420 --> 00:39:51,500 Close your eyes and fall back. 569 00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:53,120 I don't think this is a good... 570 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,620 It's gonna be great! 571 00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:56,320 Fall back. 572 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,580 I got you. 573 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,720 I don't want to do this. 574 00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:05,220 Oh come on, you don't trust me? 575 00:40:05,230 --> 00:40:07,690 No, it's not that I'm uncomfortable falling. 576 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:12,440 That's alright. 577 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:32,920 (Background music) 578 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,819 It's not that I don't trust you. 579 00:40:34,819 --> 00:40:36,679 I was being silly. 580 00:40:36,690 --> 00:40:40,530 You can trust someone without proving you'd fall out of a window. 581 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,680 I was just trying to look at your ass anyway. 582 00:40:48,130 --> 00:40:49,750 What color was it? 583 00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:50,860 What? 584 00:40:50,860 --> 00:40:52,589 The Cheshire cat. 585 00:40:52,589 --> 00:40:53,589 Ah. 586 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:57,780 I'm not going to answer that. 587 00:40:57,780 --> 00:41:05,300 On the grounds that I wish to move past discussing ex-girlfriends' vaginal art. 588 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:08,880 (Camera click) 589 00:41:09,079 --> 00:41:10,499 It was green wasn't it? 590 00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:11,500 You wish. 591 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:12,980 (Laughs) 592 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:15,600 (Camera click) 593 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:23,500 (Background music) 594 00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:30,200 (Music) 595 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,180 This remind you of anything? 596 00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:35,100 Um... 597 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,040 Jules and Jim. 598 00:41:40,910 --> 00:41:42,150 No way. 599 00:41:44,260 --> 00:41:46,859 I can't believe you know this movie. 600 00:41:46,859 --> 00:41:49,379 I used to dress like Jeanne Moreau. 601 00:41:49,380 --> 00:41:50,680 What? 602 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,010 You know that hat she wore? 603 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,010 Uh huh. 604 00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:54,930 Yeah, I wasn't very popular. 605 00:41:54,930 --> 00:41:56,430 Oh man. 606 00:41:56,820 --> 00:41:59,860 I would totally have been friends with you and your ugly hat. 607 00:42:01,180 --> 00:42:02,200 Thank you. 608 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:03,620 You're welcome. 609 00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:08,080 Man I love this movie. 610 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,860 Yeah, me too. 611 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,900 Parlez-vous français? 612 00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:14,980 Not at all. 613 00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:16,490 You don't know the lyrics? 614 00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:20,600 Well... 615 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,140 No. 616 00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:24,220 I don't either. 617 00:42:24,220 --> 00:42:25,500 You're screwing with me. 618 00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:30,860 (Laughter) 619 00:42:37,020 --> 00:42:38,080 Make 'em up. 620 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:38,799 Huh? 621 00:42:38,799 --> 00:42:40,479 Make up the lyrics. 622 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,040 Seriously. 623 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,040 Sure. 624 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,820 Just try imagining them. 625 00:42:45,740 --> 00:42:46,940 Or something. 626 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:48,820 Hmm. 627 00:42:50,260 --> 00:42:55,180 I'd say she's singing about a happy moment from her past. 628 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,120 You must be really good with numbers. 629 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:00,400 What was that? 630 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:05,579 She's singing about a happy moment from... you can do better than that. 631 00:43:05,579 --> 00:43:07,369 Oh fine. 632 00:43:07,369 --> 00:43:08,829 I am very good with numbers. 633 00:43:08,829 --> 00:43:09,829 I'm sure. 634 00:43:09,829 --> 00:43:11,089 Get in the zone. 635 00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,629 Shhh. Breathe. 636 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,160 (Exhale) 637 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,340 You got this. 638 00:43:18,340 --> 00:43:19,340 Okay. 639 00:43:24,140 --> 00:43:27,360 (Violin) 640 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,420 She walks through the park. 641 00:43:30,020 --> 00:43:31,520 And it's spring. 642 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:40,060 She comes across a man, he's a violinist practicing a wonderful tune. 643 00:43:40,060 --> 00:43:45,080 He's wearing one of those flat hats, you know, with a smooshed bill. 644 00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:50,300 She lays down in the grass, it tickles her neck 645 00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:53,940 in a way that reminds her of a passionate night from her past. 646 00:43:54,339 --> 00:43:59,680 She exhales out her tension, imagining it breaks apart into tiny little spirits. 647 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:05,640 They comfort her and they say, "everything's going to be okay." 648 00:44:06,180 --> 00:44:07,160 (Glass breaks) 649 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:07,900 Oh! 650 00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:10,520 My bad. 651 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:11,440 Oh, I'll get something. 652 00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:16,680 Of course I'm out of paper towels. 653 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,720 You are? 654 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:18,560 Yep. 655 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:19,560 Oh no. 656 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:26,980 (Background music) 657 00:44:26,980 --> 00:44:29,100 Give me sexy. 658 00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:31,720 Hey, are you done yet? 659 00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:35,420 I guess. 660 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,120 Whoa, look at that. 661 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,320 Hey. 662 00:44:47,700 --> 00:44:49,180 How'd you get that? 663 00:44:49,180 --> 00:44:50,500 I don't know. 664 00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:52,260 Let's see how you like it. 665 00:44:52,260 --> 00:44:52,960 No. 666 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,720 Come on. 667 00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:54,420 No. 668 00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,160 Work it. 669 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,100 I don't want to work it. 670 00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:56,760 Work it. 671 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:57,480 Lets see your sexy. 672 00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:58,020 No, this is... 673 00:44:58,020 --> 00:44:58,880 Work it for the camera. 674 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,380 Stop it. 675 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:56,640 (Music) 676 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,400 Narrator: Jared refused to confess that he found great difficulty 677 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,800 following the storylines when reading aloud. 678 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:07,800 April didn't have the heart to tell him that she preferred reading to herself. 679 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,340 Even so, over the past couple of months 680 00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:17,440 this evening ritual had evolved into a source of great anticipation for each of them. 681 00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:26,740 And what's your name? 682 00:46:26,740 --> 00:46:27,740 April. 683 00:46:27,740 --> 00:46:28,980 And yours? 684 00:46:28,980 --> 00:46:31,340 Maximillian Von Russeau. 685 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:33,200 (Laughs) 686 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:39,040 Great, now if you get it within the thirty seconds you win the item, 687 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:42,881 if you don't guess right however one of you will die. 688 00:46:42,881 --> 00:46:45,141 Crowd: Oooh 689 00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:47,460 The product! 690 00:46:47,460 --> 00:46:49,120 Crowd: Ahhh 691 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,840 You'll have to win this. 692 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:55,180 We'll work together. 693 00:46:55,180 --> 00:46:57,760 I have too much humility to assign a value to my work. 694 00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,980 You have thirty seconds, three, two, go. 695 00:47:00,980 --> 00:47:03,980 (Ticking clock) 696 00:47:03,980 --> 00:47:05,580 One hundred dollars. 697 00:47:05,580 --> 00:47:06,580 Higher. 698 00:47:06,580 --> 00:47:07,780 Two hundred dollars? 699 00:47:07,780 --> 00:47:08,780 Higher. 700 00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,180 Five hundred. 701 00:47:11,180 --> 00:47:12,380 Higher. 702 00:47:12,860 --> 00:47:14,180 One thousand dollars. 703 00:47:14,180 --> 00:47:15,060 Higher. 704 00:47:15,060 --> 00:47:18,460 Crowd: Four, three, two, one... 705 00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,520 (Buzzer) 706 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,020 One million dollars! 707 00:47:21,020 --> 00:47:23,400 Crowd: (Groan) 708 00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,549 Oh so sorry this was a tough one. 709 00:47:26,549 --> 00:47:30,930 The actual value of the journal was one hundred dollars. 710 00:47:30,930 --> 00:47:34,980 (Crowd murmer) 711 00:47:34,980 --> 00:47:36,440 But I said that. 712 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,529 Without conviction, I'm afraid. 713 00:47:38,529 --> 00:47:41,900 You took too long now Max will suffer. 714 00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,220 (Crowd applause) 715 00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:45,640 No. 716 00:47:47,180 --> 00:47:50,580 I'm sorry Maximillian Von Russeau. 717 00:48:14,580 --> 00:48:16,600 What are you doing? 718 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,640 I think this guy's manic. 719 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,160 Please don't read that. 720 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:21,840 I'm sorry, I should have asked but... 721 00:48:24,940 --> 00:48:27,660 You uh any leads yet? 722 00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:28,660 No. 723 00:48:29,900 --> 00:48:32,060 You know I probably met the guy. 724 00:48:32,980 --> 00:48:34,860 What do you mean? 725 00:48:41,020 --> 00:48:42,840 Come on, no. 726 00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,800 Well he lives in Astoria. 727 00:48:51,809 --> 00:48:52,940 We think he lives in Astoria. 728 00:48:52,940 --> 00:48:55,660 He definitely lives in Astoria, or at least visits. 729 00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:00,440 Actually, nobody visits Queens so I'm sure he lives there. 730 00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:01,940 Why do you say that? 731 00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:06,560 Because Manhattanites and Brooklynites are snobs like that. 732 00:49:06,940 --> 00:49:08,920 No, why do you think he lives there? 733 00:49:08,930 --> 00:49:11,680 Oh, he mentions Kelly's. 734 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:12,680 You know Kelly? 735 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,180 It's a bar, not a guy. 736 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,460 Yeah my friends and I used to go there a lot. 737 00:49:18,460 --> 00:49:19,460 Hey... 738 00:49:19,460 --> 00:49:20,460 I need to go there. 739 00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:21,940 Well lets grab brunch first huh? 740 00:49:21,940 --> 00:49:23,340 I'm starving. 741 00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:31,780 (Diner chatter) 742 00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,920 Have you decided what you're going to wear for the gala on Friday? 743 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:36,920 The what? 744 00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:41,080 Seriously? 745 00:49:41,700 --> 00:49:44,420 Oh, um, no, I haven't. 746 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,980 You know if you don't want to go you don't have to. 747 00:49:49,980 --> 00:49:51,400 I want to go. 748 00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:53,300 I do. 749 00:49:57,820 --> 00:50:01,280 This omelette's really good, you should try some. 750 00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:04,780 That's okay. 751 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:08,880 I said I don't want any. 752 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,160 It's good. 753 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,500 I'm not trying it. 754 00:50:15,820 --> 00:50:17,220 Fine. 755 00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,620 Sorry I tried sharing something delicious with you. 756 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,420 There's no need to get all riled up. 757 00:50:25,420 --> 00:50:27,980 Bad timing, I guess. 758 00:50:27,980 --> 00:50:31,740 I'm not PMSing if that's what you mean. 759 00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,260 Narrator: April was PMSing but that had nothing to do with the tiff 760 00:50:39,260 --> 00:50:43,620 she had started with Jared. She was feeling a sort of guilt over 761 00:50:43,630 --> 00:50:48,810 permitting Jared to join in on her search for the journal's author. 762 00:50:50,100 --> 00:51:02,760 (Sports broadcast on TV) 763 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,380 What can I do ya for? 764 00:51:05,380 --> 00:51:06,580 Hi, I'm looking for... 765 00:51:06,580 --> 00:51:08,580 Two IPA's. 766 00:51:08,580 --> 00:51:09,400 Please 767 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,820 We used to do karaoke here every Saturday. 768 00:51:19,860 --> 00:51:22,600 Guessing you're not much of a karaokier. 769 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,500 I sing, but only in groups. 770 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:26,030 Safety in numbers. 771 00:51:26,030 --> 00:51:27,710 Not for the group. 772 00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,760 May you die in bed at ninety-five, shot by a jealous spouse. 773 00:51:34,860 --> 00:51:36,359 Can I ask a favor? 774 00:51:36,359 --> 00:51:37,619 What have ya got, beautiful? 775 00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:39,360 Can I please hang this here? 776 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,180 A green backpack. 777 00:51:45,180 --> 00:51:47,060 Like this one. 778 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:49,360 You can hang it. 779 00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,780 Thank you. 780 00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:59,000 I haven't seen him much though, not lately. 781 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,360 Used to come in a lot. 782 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,980 Come back on Friday, when Lindsay's behind the bar. 783 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,500 Hey. 784 00:52:17,500 --> 00:52:19,440 Popcorn or candy? 785 00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,829 Popcorn's healthier. 786 00:52:20,839 --> 00:52:21,839 Yeah but... 787 00:52:21,839 --> 00:52:23,339 Where's Jared? 788 00:52:23,339 --> 00:52:24,339 He's not coming. 789 00:52:24,339 --> 00:52:26,549 That sucks, I wanted to thank him for the playlist. 790 00:52:26,549 --> 00:52:27,700 I'll let him know. 791 00:52:27,700 --> 00:52:30,820 How much do you think the fruit counts in Raisinettes? 792 00:52:30,820 --> 00:52:34,540 If it was fruit they'd be called chocolate covered raisins. 793 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:36,820 Hi. 794 00:52:38,299 --> 00:52:40,720 So how's it going? 795 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:44,530 I have no idea what to where, it's totally weird because I know so much about him and 796 00:52:44,530 --> 00:52:48,880 yet he knows nothing about me so it's kind of like who do I want to be, ya know? 797 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:52,480 I'm thinking of wearing the black dress, ya know the one I wore-- 798 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,940 I was talking about Jared. 799 00:52:54,940 --> 00:52:56,520 How are things going with Jared? 800 00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:57,900 Good. 801 00:52:57,900 --> 00:52:58,900 Good? 802 00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:00,700 Yeah they're going really well. 803 00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:03,220 And that's why you're in a tizzy over what to wear? 804 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:07,039 I hope you find this guy because you're being an idiot right now. 805 00:53:07,039 --> 00:53:08,039 Okay... 806 00:53:08,039 --> 00:53:10,440 Well I'm sorry but you are. 807 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:14,630 Jared is a great guy and you're pining over an imaginary friend. 808 00:53:14,630 --> 00:53:17,750 I'm not pining, I just find this whole mystery thing exciting. 809 00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:19,700 It's always exciting, April. 810 00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:24,630 If it's not a journal it's the guy buying your favorite breakfast bar or the guy sitting 811 00:53:24,630 --> 00:53:26,579 across from you reading the Village Voice. 812 00:53:26,579 --> 00:53:30,039 At a certain point you need to say "close enough." 813 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,480 I don't want you to make a mistake. 814 00:53:33,490 --> 00:53:35,410 Like when you say "close enough" what does that mean? 815 00:53:35,410 --> 00:53:36,420 What parts are close enough? 816 00:53:36,420 --> 00:53:37,529 Where are we supposed to trim? 817 00:53:37,529 --> 00:53:38,529 What parts? 818 00:53:38,529 --> 00:53:40,289 I don't know, April. 819 00:53:41,470 --> 00:53:47,190 I don't want "close enough," you can say it's immature or idealistic or naive... 820 00:53:47,190 --> 00:53:51,970 Over speaker: We're now seating for the seven-thirty showing of The Philadelphia Story. 821 00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,460 So what are you going to do about Jared? 822 00:53:55,470 --> 00:53:57,350 It's two completely different things. 823 00:53:57,350 --> 00:53:58,680 Except it's not. 824 00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,910 Look, I like Jared, I enjoy spending time with him, we're learning about each other. 825 00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:06,099 It's just, I'm trying not to think so much. 826 00:54:06,099 --> 00:54:08,979 You're the one always telling me not to think so much. 827 00:54:08,980 --> 00:54:10,270 Yeah. 828 00:54:11,740 --> 00:54:15,520 If this journal guy ends up being some sort of soulmate 829 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:19,660 I'm going to have to rethink the entire universe. 830 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:42,640 (Door opens) 831 00:54:43,940 --> 00:54:44,900 (Door closes) 832 00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:46,799 Let me see it. 833 00:54:46,799 --> 00:54:50,039 I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. 834 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,200 Did you read it? 835 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:54,900 I looked for his contact information. 836 00:54:54,900 --> 00:54:56,180 Right. 837 00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:58,920 Am I in it? 838 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:03,400 I don't think so, I... no. 839 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,120 Yeah well he's a douche. 840 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,580 He's a liar so don't believe anything that he says. 841 00:55:07,580 --> 00:55:09,951 He plays innocent but he's not. 842 00:55:10,980 --> 00:55:13,760 Do you know where I can find him? 843 00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:18,360 Yeah, um, he lives around the corner on forty-second. 844 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:20,400 It's... 845 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:24,000 I don't know the exact address but it's the one with the Bob Marley on the door. 846 00:55:24,980 --> 00:55:27,180 Oh, what is his name? 847 00:55:27,190 --> 00:55:28,660 Dave Moore. 848 00:55:28,660 --> 00:55:30,390 Douchebag Dave. 849 00:55:36,380 --> 00:55:38,380 What are you doing? 850 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,000 That's a good question. 851 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,140 I'm glad I didn't get the limo. 852 00:55:46,140 --> 00:55:47,240 What time is it? 853 00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:48,800 Doesn't matter. 854 00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:50,840 Did you find him? 855 00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,660 Yes, no. 856 00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:56,800 Was it all fireworks and lightening bolts? 857 00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,100 I... 858 00:56:00,100 --> 00:56:01,720 I haven't... 859 00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:03,700 What are you doing? 860 00:56:08,540 --> 00:56:10,860 Returning the journal. 861 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:16,180 When you were supposed to be getting ready for the gala, which I can't help but notice 862 00:56:16,180 --> 00:56:19,460 you're dressed rather nicely for having forgotten. 863 00:56:20,300 --> 00:56:22,260 Jared, I'm ready, lets go. 864 00:56:22,260 --> 00:56:23,500 I'm not ready. 865 00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,240 April I've fallen for you. 866 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,900 See I'm scared too. 867 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:42,020 Because what that really means is that I think I'm falling in love with you. 868 00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,900 Which means I am in love with you. 869 00:56:52,820 --> 00:56:54,360 But if you don't feel the same way... 870 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:55,280 I do. 871 00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:57,040 I keep waiting. 872 00:56:57,890 --> 00:57:01,990 For you to let go, to trust me. 873 00:57:04,700 --> 00:57:07,740 Now I'm starting to feel like that's not the problem. 874 00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:23,260 Burn it. 875 00:57:23,260 --> 00:57:24,740 What? 876 00:57:24,740 --> 00:57:26,039 Burn it. 877 00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,610 It's not mine, that's not fair. 878 00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,900 Remember when we were talking about love 879 00:57:34,900 --> 00:57:38,420 and you said it had to be mutual or it was pointless? 880 00:57:41,460 --> 00:57:43,900 I think you were right. 881 00:57:49,970 --> 00:57:51,410 Jared please. 882 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:53,760 Good luck. 883 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:56,480 (Car door closes) 884 00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:07,000 (Music) 885 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:13,640 Narrator: And just like that, the urgency associated with the journal had disappeared. 886 00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:17,899 In a strange way the pain was a relief, an outing of sorts. 887 00:58:18,900 --> 00:58:22,480 But as April reflected on the many mistakes she had made along the way 888 00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:26,240 there was one question she couldn't shake. 889 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:30,680 Why had she been the one to find the journal? 890 00:58:30,680 --> 00:59:03,980 (Music) 891 00:59:03,980 --> 00:59:05,920 (Knock on door) 892 00:59:07,260 --> 00:59:09,000 (Footsteps) 893 00:59:14,420 --> 00:59:15,720 Yeah? 894 00:59:16,260 --> 00:59:17,460 Dave? 895 00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:35,740 (Door closes) 896 00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,640 Nice place. 897 00:59:47,580 --> 00:59:49,320 You knew Dave? 898 00:59:51,990 --> 00:59:54,539 I found his journal. 899 00:59:54,539 --> 00:59:55,609 Dave kept a journal? 900 00:59:55,609 --> 00:59:56,989 I don't know. 901 00:59:58,160 --> 00:59:58,960 Let's see it. 902 00:59:58,960 --> 00:59:59,900 (Snaps fingers) 903 00:59:59,900 --> 01:00:04,860 I prefer to give it to Dave, just because it's personal. 904 01:00:14,420 --> 01:00:15,760 Is he here? 905 01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:18,360 He's dead. 906 01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:23,020 What do you mean? 907 01:00:23,020 --> 01:00:29,640 He died, he's dead, gone, poof, over. 908 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:43,620 What happened? 909 01:00:43,620 --> 01:00:45,520 He killed himself. 910 01:00:45,980 --> 01:00:47,920 And you care because? 911 01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:51,440 I'm sorry. 912 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:52,480 Here. 913 01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:54,960 Wait. 914 01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:59,640 (Searching through clutter) 915 01:01:12,700 --> 01:01:14,640 This is his mom's place. 916 01:01:17,900 --> 01:01:19,660 She won't see me. 917 01:01:31,900 --> 01:01:32,940 (Door closes) 918 01:01:33,800 --> 01:02:42,800 (Music) 919 01:02:43,260 --> 01:02:44,860 May I help you? 920 01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:47,120 Are you Dave's mother? 921 01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,480 Yes. 922 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:54,220 I have something I think you'd like to see. 923 01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,320 Please come in. 924 01:03:05,180 --> 01:03:08,060 He never lost the pudge, I'm afraid. 925 01:03:08,860 --> 01:03:11,120 This is a more recent one. 926 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,670 I had no idea he kept a journal. 927 01:03:22,500 --> 01:03:26,860 Even in the afterlife he continues to surprise me. 928 01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:30,180 He had an amazing way of expressing himself. 929 01:03:30,660 --> 01:03:33,920 I feel like we would have been friends. 930 01:03:34,940 --> 01:03:36,580 Thank you. 931 01:03:37,620 --> 01:03:40,860 You're very kind to have made the effort to return it. 932 01:03:40,860 --> 01:03:45,240 Can I... ask you... a question? 933 01:03:45,540 --> 01:03:47,120 Of course. 934 01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:52,460 May I ask if you know... 935 01:03:52,460 --> 01:03:53,460 Why? 936 01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:58,120 It's hard to believe any one thing could lead to something like this. 937 01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:05,260 When he was a boy, David loved sports. 938 01:04:05,269 --> 01:04:08,389 He'd play for hours with the neighborhood kids. 939 01:04:08,820 --> 01:04:12,940 And I remember him coming home one day after school, 940 01:04:12,940 --> 01:04:17,380 I think it was junior high, yes, and he was really upset. 941 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:21,080 He'd been cut from the school basketball team. 942 01:04:21,500 --> 01:04:25,460 I tried talking to him, telling him there was always next year. 943 01:04:25,980 --> 01:04:28,420 He was convinced it was over. 944 01:04:28,420 --> 01:04:32,480 His basketball career had ended in sixth grade. 945 01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:37,640 David took everything so hard. 946 01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:43,560 I'm sure it was many things but he... 947 01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,520 He just didn't like himself. 948 01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,599 Which has to be the toughest thing for a parent to understand. 949 01:04:53,599 --> 01:04:58,279 As a mother you remember him as this big. 950 01:04:58,279 --> 01:05:01,539 Wide-eyed and full of promise. 951 01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:06,360 You don't understand how they can't love themselves when you love them 952 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:11,640 so much it's painful. It's not even love anymore. 953 01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,580 It's life, it's meaning. 954 01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:21,840 You question everything, you blame yourself for not being able 955 01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:27,420 to keep the happiness they had as a child bottled up inside them forever. 956 01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:31,560 How did it get out? 957 01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:33,200 Where did it go? 958 01:05:35,569 --> 01:05:40,309 I just never saw what there wasn't to like? 959 01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:46,300 I'm so sorry. 960 01:05:46,300 --> 01:05:47,680 (Doorbell) 961 01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:49,560 Oh Lord, look at me. 962 01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:54,740 Oh hello Father. 963 01:05:54,740 --> 01:05:55,680 Something sweet. 964 01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:56,640 Oh look at that. 965 01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:58,420 How kind of you. 966 01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,060 Come in, please. 967 01:06:00,060 --> 01:06:01,180 Thanks. 968 01:06:01,180 --> 01:06:02,140 (Door closes) 969 01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:07,360 Father Randy, this is April. 970 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,960 She was returning something of David's. 971 01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:13,160 I'm just going to put this in the kitchen. 972 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:16,000 Have a seat, please. 973 01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:23,500 We're you at the memorial? 974 01:06:23,509 --> 01:06:24,509 No. 975 01:06:25,420 --> 01:06:29,040 No, I... didn't really know him. 976 01:06:29,740 --> 01:06:30,760 Oh. 977 01:06:34,480 --> 01:06:38,899 Father Randy gave the most amazing sermon at David's funeral. 978 01:06:38,900 --> 01:06:40,200 Divinely inspired. 979 01:06:40,210 --> 01:06:42,700 Thank you, Donna, thank you. 980 01:06:42,700 --> 01:06:47,480 April here found David's journal on the subway and tracked us down to return it. 981 01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,700 Isn't that just the kindest thing? 982 01:06:49,710 --> 01:06:51,460 It is, yes. 983 01:06:51,460 --> 01:06:54,180 I can't bring myself to open it. 984 01:06:54,180 --> 01:06:56,749 Apparently he wrote quite well. 985 01:06:56,749 --> 01:06:58,729 He had a gift. 986 01:07:00,030 --> 01:07:01,380 I should be going. 987 01:07:01,380 --> 01:07:03,829 Oh I have a plate of cookies for ya. 988 01:07:03,829 --> 01:07:04,910 That's not... 989 01:07:04,910 --> 01:07:09,550 People have dropped off a decade's worth of sweets, I swear. 990 01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:16,700 That must have been quite a task trying to track us down. 991 01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:18,220 It's nothing really. 992 01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:23,920 Thank you. 993 01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:25,420 No, thank you. 994 01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:32,040 Very nice to meet you. 995 01:08:07,640 --> 01:09:10,740 (Music) 996 01:09:14,480 --> 01:09:15,800 (Knock on door) 997 01:09:27,740 --> 01:09:29,500 (Knock on door) 998 01:09:30,780 --> 01:09:32,940 (Groaning) 999 01:09:45,580 --> 01:09:47,320 (Unlocking door) 1000 01:09:49,580 --> 01:09:50,840 (Opens door) 1001 01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:53,840 Did I catch you at a bad time? 1002 01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:55,540 No, I was... 1003 01:09:55,540 --> 01:09:58,820 I hope you don't mind, I got your information from Donna. 1004 01:09:59,300 --> 01:10:00,700 Donna Moore. 1005 01:10:01,300 --> 01:10:06,120 I was hoping to speak to you about the journal, if you don't mind. 1006 01:10:06,140 --> 01:10:08,240 Ugh, that journal. 1007 01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:10,060 (Bangs head on door) 1008 01:10:10,060 --> 01:10:12,580 Well I can also, I can come back another time. 1009 01:10:12,590 --> 01:10:14,750 No, I was... 1010 01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,620 Uh how about if I wait for you over here. 1011 01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:22,480 I'll be right out. 1012 01:10:22,480 --> 01:10:24,360 (Door closes) 1013 01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:30,520 (Door closes) 1014 01:10:32,380 --> 01:10:33,720 What can I help you with? 1015 01:10:33,720 --> 01:10:40,040 Well if you don't mind I was hoping to hear about how you went about returning the journal. 1016 01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:43,080 I'd say tragically. 1017 01:10:45,660 --> 01:10:47,660 Is everything okay? 1018 01:10:47,660 --> 01:10:51,780 No, I'm sorry, it was a lot to take in yesterday. 1019 01:10:51,780 --> 01:10:53,100 Oh I'm sure. 1020 01:10:58,040 --> 01:11:01,280 When I first found the journal... 1021 01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,460 Narrator: April retold the entire journey of the journal. 1022 01:11:04,470 --> 01:11:09,190 From the subway to the Craigslist guy to the fight with Jared 1023 01:11:09,190 --> 01:11:12,740 to the failed drop off attempt at Ms. Moore's home. 1024 01:11:12,740 --> 01:11:18,300 Once April had reached the end of her tale she felt lighter but no less confused. 1025 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,930 Oh ye of little faith. 1026 01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:25,120 That is quite a story. 1027 01:11:26,580 --> 01:11:30,060 The odds, the odds must have been... 1028 01:11:30,070 --> 01:11:32,270 Doesn't matter, does it? 1029 01:11:32,270 --> 01:11:33,250 Pardon? 1030 01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:39,160 It's too late, I tried to return the journal as quickly as I could, I mean I did but 1031 01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:42,400 I slowed down after I met Jared and-- 1032 01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:46,360 April I hope you're not feeling guilty over David's death. 1033 01:11:48,460 --> 01:11:52,780 If you thought returning the journal would somehow thwart his suicide, 1034 01:11:52,780 --> 01:11:54,440 I don't think so. 1035 01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:56,020 It's just... 1036 01:11:56,020 --> 01:12:01,720 I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone in how he felt. 1037 01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:03,620 Maybe it would have... 1038 01:12:03,620 --> 01:12:04,960 It wouldn't have. 1039 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:07,760 How do you know? 1040 01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,160 David was deeply troubled. 1041 01:12:12,660 --> 01:12:15,280 And uh also, 1042 01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:17,140 because it's my journal. 1043 01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:24,140 The odds must have been in the billions. 1044 01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:26,770 Did you just say...? 1045 01:12:27,300 --> 01:12:29,100 Yeah, I wrote it. 1046 01:12:29,100 --> 01:12:31,020 It's mine. 1047 01:12:31,020 --> 01:12:39,180 (Laughing) 1048 01:12:39,180 --> 01:12:40,480 Brilliant. 1049 01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:42,220 Wait... 1050 01:12:42,220 --> 01:12:44,440 That's what I'm saying, the odds. 1051 01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,660 It appears that you and I were on the same mission. 1052 01:12:51,660 --> 01:12:55,840 You see I wrote the journal while I was in my twenties, but I wanted David to know that 1053 01:12:55,840 --> 01:13:05,250 here was someone who felt lost, isolated, scared, and eventually somehow made it through. 1054 01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:11,130 And like you, I felt a measure of guilt over his death. 1055 01:13:12,340 --> 01:13:17,600 As if my intention somehow had the opposite affect. 1056 01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:20,520 (Sigh) 1057 01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:24,100 I started looking for reasons. 1058 01:13:24,540 --> 01:13:30,520 You'd think I'd know by now that you can't force a reason upon a greater unknown plan. 1059 01:13:31,480 --> 01:13:33,860 It made me feel less alone. 1060 01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:36,200 Pardon? 1061 01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:41,620 The journal made me feel less alone. 1062 01:13:47,580 --> 01:13:50,320 Well thank you for sharing your story. 1063 01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:51,720 Thank you. 1064 01:13:54,100 --> 01:13:55,860 I should go now. 1065 01:14:01,380 --> 01:14:09,200 There uh... there was a wise man who once said, "you can't always get what you want, 1066 01:14:09,210 --> 01:14:13,890 but if you try sometime you just might get what you need." 1067 01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:17,340 The odds, billions. 1068 01:14:24,140 --> 01:14:25,240 (Door closes) 1069 01:14:28,380 --> 01:14:36,480 (Children playing) 1070 01:14:37,260 --> 01:14:40,320 Narrator: April thought back to choices she had made, 1071 01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:43,160 mostly choices she had not made. 1072 01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:48,900 Choices like not searching for a new job because she was sure the hours would be worse, 1073 01:14:48,900 --> 01:14:51,840 or not joining friends on a ski trip to Vermont 1074 01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:55,120 for she was sure to embarrass herself on the slopes. 1075 01:14:55,120 --> 01:15:00,160 It occurred to her that she was so intensely focused on the outcome of her choices that 1076 01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,660 she was missing the moments in-between. 1077 01:15:02,660 --> 01:15:06,820 But it's the moments that give meaning to the outcome. 1078 01:15:06,820 --> 01:15:09,600 It's the moments that provide the allegiance, 1079 01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:12,500 the excitement, 1080 01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:15,440 the sorrow, 1081 01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:17,920 the faith, 1082 01:15:18,660 --> 01:15:20,320 the love, 1083 01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,800 of life. 1084 01:15:22,380 --> 01:15:23,840 With moments... 1085 01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:26,960 Mr. X: nothing's really ever lost. 1086 01:15:32,380 --> 01:15:34,480 So have you talked to him? 1087 01:15:35,300 --> 01:15:37,360 He's not taking my calls. 1088 01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:39,200 Don't blame him. 1089 01:15:39,860 --> 01:15:42,580 Lost out to a gay, dead man. 1090 01:15:42,580 --> 01:15:44,520 A priest, actually. 1091 01:15:44,520 --> 01:15:45,720 Oh god... 1092 01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:49,460 Thank you for supporting me, no, really, I appreciate it. 1093 01:15:49,460 --> 01:15:51,340 Almost got you a cat. 1094 01:15:51,350 --> 01:15:53,770 I am not ready for a cat. 1095 01:15:54,220 --> 01:15:55,560 We need a game plan. 1096 01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:56,760 Yes. 1097 01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:01,140 Got it. 1098 01:16:01,140 --> 01:16:05,820 Text him an n-a-k-e-d photo of yourself, with your face showing. 1099 01:16:05,830 --> 01:16:07,990 It says so much. 1100 01:16:08,740 --> 01:16:10,440 Yes, yes it does. 1101 01:16:10,440 --> 01:16:11,500 (Laughter) 1102 01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:28,540 (Music) 1103 01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:29,880 Call you tonight. 1104 01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:32,220 Okay, hey, with your face! 1105 01:16:32,220 --> 01:16:33,200 Uh huh. 1106 01:16:35,420 --> 01:16:36,300 Carly? 1107 01:16:36,300 --> 01:16:38,600 Hun, tie your shoe. 1108 01:16:38,600 --> 01:17:11,860 (Music) 1109 01:17:11,860 --> 01:17:13,380 (Knock on door) 1110 01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:24,960 (Footsteps) 1111 01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:27,900 (Unlocking door) 1112 01:17:27,900 --> 01:17:28,820 (Door opens) 1113 01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:31,100 April. 1114 01:17:31,100 --> 01:17:31,960 (Crash) 1115 01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:32,780 Ow. 1116 01:17:32,780 --> 01:17:33,300 Are you okay? 1117 01:17:33,300 --> 01:17:34,300 Ow! 1118 01:17:35,220 --> 01:17:36,440 Ohhh. 1119 01:17:37,240 --> 01:17:38,300 (Chuckle) 1120 01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:40,320 I have a concussion. 1121 01:17:40,320 --> 01:17:43,040 How many fingers am I holding up? 1122 01:17:43,040 --> 01:17:45,200 Mmm two? 1123 01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:48,160 Yeah, you're okay. 1124 01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,240 No, I have a concussion. 1125 01:17:51,180 --> 01:17:53,780 What are you doing here, April? 1126 01:17:54,700 --> 01:17:55,700 I'm trying... 1127 01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:57,680 To prove you're crazy? 1128 01:17:58,900 --> 01:18:01,000 Did it work? 1129 01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:02,620 Mission accomplished. 1130 01:18:02,630 --> 01:18:04,940 And I'm sorry I... 1131 01:18:04,940 --> 01:18:06,760 I want to be with you. 1132 01:18:06,760 --> 01:18:11,720 I've been looking for you for so long, long before I found this journal and I maybe, 1133 01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:14,020 I guess I got scared. 1134 01:18:14,020 --> 01:18:15,350 I understand. 1135 01:18:16,980 --> 01:18:19,620 I've been fooling myself into believing that I... 1136 01:18:19,620 --> 01:18:20,740 Ow. 1137 01:18:22,140 --> 01:18:23,680 What? 1138 01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:28,580 I get it. 1139 01:18:29,040 --> 01:18:30,540 You do? 1140 01:18:37,280 --> 01:18:38,220 (Sigh) 1141 01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:45,760 Fear. 1142 01:18:49,380 --> 01:18:52,380 Is one of the signs, ya know? 1143 01:18:54,700 --> 01:18:56,180 How's your head? 1144 01:18:56,180 --> 01:18:57,200 (Groan) 1145 01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:57,900 (Laugh) 1146 01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,400 I'm still concussed. 1147 01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:00,640 Yeah? 1148 01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:04,160 See if this helps. 1149 01:19:08,020 --> 01:19:10,940 Mmm... 1150 01:19:10,940 --> 01:19:11,960 Nuh uh. 1151 01:19:11,960 --> 01:19:12,660 No? 1152 01:19:12,660 --> 01:19:13,360 No. 1153 01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:14,140 Nothing? 1154 01:19:14,140 --> 01:19:14,900 No. 1155 01:19:14,900 --> 01:19:15,600 Again. 1156 01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:16,580 Again? 1157 01:19:16,580 --> 01:19:17,240 Uh huh. 1158 01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:18,440 Okay. 1159 01:19:29,400 --> 01:19:30,860 Better? 1160 01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:36,380 Come on. 1161 01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:45,520 Why don't you let doctor Jared give you a thorough examination. 1162 01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:48,340 That is so creepy. 1163 01:19:51,640 --> 01:19:52,960 Narrator: For the briefest of moments 1164 01:19:52,960 --> 01:19:58,080 April wondered if she and Jared would spend the rest of their lives together. 1165 01:19:58,080 --> 01:19:59,220 And then, 1166 01:19:59,220 --> 01:20:00,880 just as quickly, 1167 01:20:02,200 --> 01:20:03,500 (Door closes) 1168 01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:08,080 she wondered what they'd be having for dinner. 74363

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