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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is
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Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College.
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I firmly believe that I'm ready
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for this next step in my academic life.
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I guess our baby's going to college.
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So I don't want to get
married. It's nothing personal.
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After everything that I've
done for you and your family.
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You give my grandson a job
so I'm supposed to marry you?
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Well, you can forget I even asked.
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Oh, no.
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I screwed up.
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You're fired.
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Here's for firing my grandson.
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Jackass!
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I never understood why kids didn't like
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being sent to the principal's office.
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I thought it was great.
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Sheldon, you are a remarkable young man.
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Thanks, and you're a remarkable old man.
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Sheldon.
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So you sure he's got
all the credits he needs?
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Yeah, between his
coursework and his AP tests,
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he's met all of his
academic requirements.
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He even managed to get
a good grade in P.E.
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I earned extra credit snitching on kids
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who were smoking behind
the equipment shed.
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I don't have to buy
cigarettes for a year.
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So he's really good to graduate?
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He sure is. I got to tell ya,
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usually when kids leave
school after two years,
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it's not for college.
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It's for prison or pregnancy.
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Well, between Georgie and
Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
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George!
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Well, I'm not rooting for it.
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It's just a thing that could happen.
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One other bit of business.
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Since you're graduating early,
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and you're top of the class,
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that makes you our valedictorian.
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Way to go, buddy!
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I'm so proud of you, baby.
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You seem surprised.
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Well, it's quite an accomplishment.
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Being top of the class in this school?
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I don't think so.
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We're really gonna miss you.
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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I imagine my leaving
will be hard for you.
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Oh, yeah, being best friends
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with a little kid really
boosted my game with the ladies.
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Makes sense. I'm a conversation starter.
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Just think. You'll have
this table all to yourself.
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Actually, I joined the jazz band.
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Those guys have their own
table in the cafeteria.
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Oh.
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They're pretty cool.
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The drummer's even got a goatee.
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Well, I'm glad I knew you before
you became a heroin addict.
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Where are my safety goggles?
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I don't have no orange today.
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No, I have a lab later.
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Just use the room goggles
like everyone else.
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And risk eyebrow lice?
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They don't just like head hair, Tam.
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They must be in my locker.
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Don't eat my fluffernutter!
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I won't.
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Mmm.
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"Don't eat my fluffernutter."
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Hello.
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Thank you for seeing me.
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You might not be so happy I
did by the time we're done.
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All right, let me start by saying
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that I owe you an apology.
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You can finish with an apology, too.
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I'm sorry we had a fight. I'm...
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I'm really sorry I lost my temper,
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and I'm very sorry that
I took it out on Georgie.
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That wasn't great.
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But I want you to know
that I'm trying to change.
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'Cause that's what
people do... they change.
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I mean it. You know, I'm tired
of being a cranky old bastard.
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It's tiring for everybody else, too.
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Would you please?
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Sorry. Go ahead.
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I'm admitting I was wrong,
and that's not something I do.
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What do you want from me?
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One more chance.
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I don't know.
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Oh, come on.
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I went to three stores to
find these purple flowers.
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They are pretty.
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They're not as pretty as you.
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Oh, God.
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Safety pins, safety scissors,
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no safety goggles.
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Did you happen to see a
pair of safety goggles?
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Sheldon, we're in the middle of a test.
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Sorry.
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I can't give you the answer,
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but what you have is not even close.
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Out!
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These things happen.
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My mother had me when she was young.
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Sorry to interrupt. I can't
find my safety goggles.
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Well, they're not here.
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I have to find them.
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Nothing's more important
than protection!
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Dad, you need to take me home.
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Why? What's the matter?
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I don't have my safety
goggles. Let's go.
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Sheldon, I'm busy.
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You're just watching TV.
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I'm reviewing game tape.
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So you know how it ends.
I'll meet you at the car.
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Sheldon, I'm not driving you home.
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I got practice in 20 minutes.
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Then call Mom and tell
her to bring them to me.
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She's working, too.
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But I need my goggles!
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Then use the ones in class.
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And I don't want to
hear about eyebrow lice.
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The ones in class are too big for me.
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What if they fall off and
something happens to my eyes?
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If I go blind, I'll
need a Seeing Eye dog,
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- and I'm scared of dogs.
- Hey!
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Is this how you plan on
acting when you get to college?
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No.
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Good, 'cause you're gonna need
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to handle stuff like this on your own.
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I can handle it.
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I hope so.
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I ended up using the
class goggles that day
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and did not get eyebrow lice.
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00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:02,919
But eight months later,
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I did contract a mild case of pink eye.
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00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:08,840
Were the two events related?
This scientist says yes.
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Do you think I can make it from one end
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of the college campus to the other
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in under ten minutes,
including a bathroom break?
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I don't know. How important
is the bathroom break?
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Very. The class schedules are designed
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00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:28,720
for fully-grown bladders,
and mine is child-sized.
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Then don't put your
classes so close together.
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Well, it's either this or I move
my labs to Tuesday afternoons.
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Is that bad?
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00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:37,650
Yes. That's when Professor Proton is on.
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00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:40,960
Well, we'll tape it, and
you can watch it later.
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00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:43,038
But what if I have a lot of
homework and can't get to it
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until the next day and one of the kids
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in my class spoils the episode for me?
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Sheldon, has anyone ever
spoiled Professor Proton for you?
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No.
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Has anyone even talked to
you about Professor Proton?
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Do you count?
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No.
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Then no.
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Thanks again for giving me another shot.
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Oh, my pleasure.
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And I got something else for you.
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Wow. Thank you, but why?
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Well, I'm trying to get
better at forgiving people.
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Well, I'm glad to hear you say that,
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'cause I'm the one who
egged your store last night.
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That was you?
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Well, me and Meemaw.
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Oh.
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It's okay.
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I forgive you.
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Cool. Thanks again for the money.
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Mm, forgiving people sucks.
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Bless us, Lord, for the
food we are about to receive,
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and bless the hands that prepared it.
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And thank you for Georgie
getting his job back. Amen.
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Amen.
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That was nice of Dale.
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I know. He even forgave
me for egging his store.
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You went egging without me?
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Georgie Cooper!
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Dale already forgave me, and God has to.
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You can't get mad.
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Ha. Burn.
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Oh. Hold on. Hold on.
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Your chair, milady.
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"Milady"?
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Where did that come from?
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I don't know.
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My brain.
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Can I get y'all started
with some drinks?
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Yeah. Uh, margaritas?
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- Mm-hmm.
- Split a pitcher?
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Mm, no, I think I'm okay.
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More of a beer night?
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No, not really.
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00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:30,999
I'm gonna take a little break.
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I'll just stick with water.
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Really?
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00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,150
Well, you know, I don't
do my best thinking
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after I've been drinking.
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00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:41,959
Should I not get one, then?
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00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:42,970
No, no, you go ahead.
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- I don't want it to get weird.
- I can come back.
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00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,400
No, no. Hey, just bring her a margarita.
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00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:48,420
No, don't.
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00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:49,440
I insist.
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I don't want one.
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Yeah, you do.
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00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:53,100
It's getting weird.
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Maybe come back.
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00:08:56,990 --> 00:09:00,670
Missy, how would you and
Sheldon like a graduation party?
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00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,860
Why would Missy have a graduation party?
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00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:04,950
'Cause I'm graduating elementary school.
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00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,070
That counts?
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00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:07,320
Of course it counts.
217
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:10,600
Yes, it's a big deal.
She's going to a new school.
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00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:12,520
New friends, new teachers.
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00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,310
Same clothes 'cause we're poor.
220
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,170
We're not poor.
221
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,460
So I can get new clothes?
222
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:18,850
We're not rich, either.
223
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:21,180
Do I really got to sit
through two graduations?
224
00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:24,520
Yes. It is a special day for
your brother and your sister.
225
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,520
I'm giving the valedictorian speech.
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00:09:26,530 --> 00:09:28,199
And I'm singing "This Land Is Your Land"
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00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,700
with a bunch of other kids.
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00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:32,520
And we are proud of you both equally.
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00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,680
Guess what. The local news wants
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00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:36,990
to do story on Sheldon
being valedictorian.
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00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,610
Isn't that great?
232
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:42,250
What?
233
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:44,260
Cheers.
234
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,439
How is it?
235
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,279
Good. Yours?
236
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,320
A little watery.
237
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,500
I want to tell you how
much I appreciate you
238
00:09:55,510 --> 00:09:56,960
giving Georgie his job back.
239
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,340
Well, I didn't do it just for you.
240
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,810
It was the right thing to do.
241
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:04,430
I even forgave him for egging the store.
242
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,270
He egged your store?
243
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:07,730
That rascal!
244
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,480
I know you did it, too.
245
00:10:09,490 --> 00:10:11,170
Okay, I did.
246
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,060
You go to church, don't you?
247
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:21,330
Yeah, when I'm not hungover.
248
00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:24,000
Well, maybe I'll go with you sometime.
249
00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,980
Really? You?
250
00:10:25,990 --> 00:10:29,670
Yeah, I was thinking a little
religion might do me some good.
251
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,380
Well, good for you.
252
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,350
I was thinking it was a fajita night.
253
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:38,700
Your daughter runs a
Bible study, doesn't she?
254
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,160
Uh-huh.
255
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,980
The next day, the local news
showed up to interview me
256
00:10:44,990 --> 00:10:47,710
and my family, which
may sound impressive,
257
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,890
but this is the same local
news that covered a potato chip
258
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,220
shaped like Texas.
259
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,650
So act natural. We're
just having a chat.
260
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,190
I'm gonna ask y'all a few questions
261
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,240
about Sheldon's high school graduation.
262
00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,870
I'm graduating, also.
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00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,680
Really? You're graduating
from high school, too?
264
00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,520
No, elementary school.
265
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,540
Oh.
266
00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:08,030
My class is singing
"This Land Is Your Land."
267
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,070
Want to hear it?
268
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,210
♪ This land is your land... ♪
269
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:14,210
Hey, can I ask my
girlfriend to the prom on TV?
270
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,880
It would blow her mind.
271
00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:17,670
♪ To the New York Islands, from the... ♪
272
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,850
We're here with the Cooper family.
273
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:22,720
Mary, George and 11-year-old Sheldon,
274
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:26,020
who's going to be Medford
High School's valedictorian.
275
00:11:26,030 --> 00:11:28,830
Mom and Dad, you must be so proud.
276
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,100
Oh, very proud.
277
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,190
But we're proud of all of our children.
278
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,420
She has to say that.
279
00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:36,210
I was a little worried about missing
280
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:38,140
Professor Proton, but
I'm going to tape it
281
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:39,410
and watch it at night.
282
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,800
Once I'm in college,
283
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:42,710
can we push my bedtime to 8:30?
284
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,190
Let's talk bedtime when
we're not on the news, honey.
285
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,160
I'm sure it'll work out
since I have all summer
286
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:49,040
to recalibrate my bathroom schedule.
287
00:11:49,050 --> 00:11:50,620
Let's not talk about that, either.
288
00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:54,570
So what's it like being the
parents of such a special child?
289
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,380
Get it away! Get it away!
290
00:11:56,390 --> 00:11:57,720
Fascinating.
291
00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:04,360
Every day's a blessing.
292
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,030
Sheldon, tell us what you're gonna miss
293
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,630
the most about high school.
294
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:09,960
Nothing.
295
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,280
Really?
296
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,400
Not your teachers, your friends?
297
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:14,970
I only have one friend.
298
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,790
And I don't think he's
gonna miss me because
299
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,000
he already found other
people to have lunch with.
300
00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:20,860
Oh, I'm sure he'll miss you.
301
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,040
And I said I'm okay with
watching Professor Proton
302
00:12:23,050 --> 00:12:24,258
at night, but that'll never work.
303
00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:26,460
I get overtired... everybody knows that!
304
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,588
Maybe we could turn the camera off.
305
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:29,608
And the other day, I couldn't
find my safety goggles
306
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:31,629
and I freaked out in
school, and my dad asked
307
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:33,920
is this how I plan on
acting when I get to college,
308
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:35,238
and I said no, but it probably is
309
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,580
because even though I'm
smart, I'm just a little boy!
310
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:41,040
- I think we have enough.
- Cut.
311
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:46,300
Here you go, baby.
312
00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:50,149
I don't know if I can
go to college next year.
313
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:51,449
Are you kidding me?!
314
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:52,690
George.
315
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,180
Buddy, I know you're upset.
316
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:57,289
But are you kidding me?
317
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:59,000
Don't listen to him.
318
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:00,650
There is no pressure.
319
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:03,480
If you want to spend
another year in high school,
320
00:13:03,490 --> 00:13:05,070
that is your decision.
321
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,120
I don't know.
322
00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:10,070
May I be excused?
323
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,960
Uh, of course.
324
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,680
We support you, buddy!
325
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:28,510
I get it.
326
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,680
What do you get?
327
00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,600
Why you don't want to go to college.
328
00:13:32,610 --> 00:13:34,980
I doubt that you do.
329
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,890
You're scared everything's
gonna be different
330
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,910
and it'll be hard.
331
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,870
And you're gonna miss
the way that it was.
332
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,200
How do you know that?
333
00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:50,870
'Cause that's how I feel.
334
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,130
You're scared?
335
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,710
Yeah.
336
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,760
So what do we do?
337
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:06,649
I guess be scared and do it anyway.
338
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:09,110
Hmm.
339
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:14,449
It's comforting to know that
you feel the same way that I do.
340
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:17,170
That's why I said it, dumbass.
341
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,790
Mom?
342
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,160
Dad?
343
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:27,220
Yeah, baby?
344
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,280
I'm ready to graduate.
345
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,080
Good night.
346
00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:40,460
That's because I supported him.
347
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,350
Our next young speaker needs
348
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,610
no introduction, but
that didn't stop him
349
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:51,800
from writing one and making me read it.
350
00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:54,890
"Fun fact."
351
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,410
I hear you.
352
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:02,020
"The word 'valedictorian' is
from the Latin 'valedicere,'
353
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:05,220
meaning 'to say farewell.'
354
00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:07,820
It is primarily used
in the United States,
355
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:10,440
Canada, the Philippines and Armenia."
356
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:13,610
Maybe that fact's more fun in Armenia.
357
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:18,730
Please welcome your
valedictorian, Sheldon Cooper.
358
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:20,870
Yay, Shelly!
359
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,840
Hello.
360
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,630
I'm not very comfortable
speaking in front of crowds.
361
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,550
But there's a technique
to reduce stage fright
362
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,140
by focusing on one
person in the audience
363
00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:38,480
and delivering your speech just to them.
364
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,570
That's what I'll be doing today.
365
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,810
If it weren't for this person,
I wouldn't be here right now.
366
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:50,030
They've taught me a lot,
367
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,490
and it's by their example
that I found the courage
368
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:56,170
to move forward into this new
and exciting chapter of my life.
369
00:15:58,340 --> 00:15:59,790
Missy...
370
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:03,630
...this is for you.
371
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,500
Change can be scary,
372
00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:10,810
but I know we're going to be fine...
373
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,590
...because like you said,
374
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,890
"It's okay to be scared.
375
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,520
We just have to do it anyway."
376
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,890
So if any of my fellow graduates
are nervous about the future,
377
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:28,490
know that you're not alone.
378
00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:32,730
I suggest you all try to be
as brave as my twin sister.
379
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,740
That's my plan.
380
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,400
Missy,
381
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:39,070
I wish I could give you
advice about middle school,
382
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,910
but I was so smart, I skipped it.
383
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,040
If you make it to high
school, we'll talk.
384
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:45,910
Thank you.
385
00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:54,690
The following day,
386
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:58,140
I attended my sister's
elementary school graduation.
387
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,100
She didn't deliver a speech to me,
388
00:17:00,110 --> 00:17:01,870
but she did make eye contact
389
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,950
while she sang "This Land Is Your Land."
390
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,140
♪ From the Redwood Forest ♪
391
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,720
♪ To the Gulf Stream waters ♪
392
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:13,850
♪ This land was made for you and me... ♪
393
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,400
Later that day, we had
394
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:17,930
a graduation party for me and my sister.
395
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,580
I don't normally care for parties,
396
00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,100
but this one wasn't so bad.
397
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,340
Who's ready for cake?
398
00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:23,590
Me!
399
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,460
Hey, should we say grace?
400
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:28,930
Heck, yeah! Let's hold hands.
401
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:32,260
Oh, cool. Let's say grace.
402
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:34,940
Dale invited Jesus to the party,
403
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,010
and while he wasn't on
my guest list, it was okay
404
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,770
because it made my mom happy.
405
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:41,810
And bless our friends and family...
406
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:44,420
In fact, it was the best
graduation party
407
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,110
I had ever been to,
408
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:49,880
until the one we had for
my son, Leonard Cooper.
409
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,620
Amen.
410
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,720
Cake!
411
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,560
I wanted his name to be
412
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:58,160
Leonard "Nimoy" Cooper,
but Amy wouldn't let me.
413
00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:00,160
Be happy I let you name him Leonard!
414
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:02,040
Okay, okay!
415
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,810
- Love you.
- Love you, too.
416
00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:07,800
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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