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1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Now, that brings me neatly
to point 16.
2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,000
There is still a great deal
of noise going on at night,
3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,000
laughing, giggling, horseplay.
4
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Now, we all get bored.
That's inevitable
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,000
But may I remind you,
we are at war.
6
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,000
I wo...
Ah. Lieutenant!
7
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Communique for you, sir,
from HQ, marked urgent.
8
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000
Ah. Finally!
This'll be my requisition
9
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,000
-Good God!
-Sir?
10
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
France has surrendered.
11
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000
-My God!
-
12
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
The Germans are coming!
13
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,000
I... don't think
they'll be here
14
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,000
What? Right.
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,000
May I suggest we initiate
the emergency
16
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000
Yes!
17
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Yes, jolly good.
18
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:51,000
No, it's vital that nothing
fall into enemy hands.
19
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000
-You heard the CO.
Get to your duties.
20
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Er... Exciting times, Havers.
21
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,000
If they do invade,
we may get
22
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Yes!
23
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
About that, sir...
24
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000
I know we do
vital work here, sir...
25
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,000
but I want to get involved
in the fighting.
26
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000
I've put in for a transfer.
27
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
You're leaving?
28
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,000
There's talk of
a North Africa front.
29
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000
Yes.
30
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,000
Yes, well,
I totally understand,
31
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Carry on.
32
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000
Thank you.
33
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,000
PAT: And seeing as nobody else
has volunteered, I thought
34
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,000
that this evening,
before Film Club, I would
35
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000
activity badges!
36
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,000
-So...
37
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,000
ALL: There are 37 badges
that you can collect.
38
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,000
-Badge number one, bivouacking!
-PAT: All right!
39
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000
Clever dicks.
40
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:26,000
But I'm sorry, I mean,
if anyone else has anything new
41
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,000
-that they'd like to...
-Ooh, ooh, I could do my talk
42
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:32,000
on how to skin a mammoth.
You start at the end...
43
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000
-That's not new!
-That's not strictly new, is it?
44
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,000
I think I'm ready to talk
about the witch trial.
45
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,000
Witch trial...
46
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000
If... If it be of interest.
47
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000
PAT: Oh!
48
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000
Oh, Mary!
49
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,000
I mean, if you're sure.
50
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000
-I mean, if you feel like
you're ready.
51
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,000
it's taken me a whiles to talk.
52
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000
Only about 300 years.
53
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,000
But, yeah, I think I'm ready.
54
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,000
Brillo pads.
55
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000
You okay?
56
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000
Can't flipping wait!
57
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000
And we'll do that
before Film Club.
58
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000
Before. Okay.
59
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,000
-And how many rooms do you have?
-Well, I think there's, like...
60
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,000
Natural light! So that's a...
61
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,000
-Ooh! Period stairs...
62
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000
clearly.
63
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000
Interesting space.
64
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000
Sort of...
65
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,000
rustic.
66
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000
Colonial!
67
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000
Quite a niche market,
wedding-wise.
68
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:40,000
I heard Isabelle
from Belle's Weddings passed
69
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,000
-Ah, no, I was sick near her.
-Mmm.
70
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000
Some went on her.
A little bit.
71
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000
Can I be honest with you?
72
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000
I don't like it.
73
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,000
I love it!
It is a little shabby
74
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000
but with a bit of zhuzhing up,
this could really suit
75
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,000
-the right couple.
-And do you happen to have
76
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000
who are interested, like...
77
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000
-BOTH: Soon?
-There is one.
78
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000
Clare. I'm showing her
some other places today.
79
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,000
She wants to book in ASAP.
80
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000
-Shotgun wedding!
-Ah...
81
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000
I'm kidding.
82
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,000
I think this
could work for them.
83
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,000
Piano, tick!
Open fireplace, tick!
84
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,000
Canape room, tick.
85
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000
Mood painting of
creepy old lady, tick.
86
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000
Kitchen, tick.
Perfectly placed
87
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,000
to allow you to flow
right through this corridor,
88
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,000
straight into your garden
at the back, where you can
89
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,000
right here!
90
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,000
Oh, no!
91
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000
Er, yeah.
92
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000
We can't show people this!
93
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000
There's rough around the edges,
and then there's a bombsite.
94
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000
We haven't quite got round
to clearing it yet. But we will.
95
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000
By this afternoon?
96
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000
-When?
-What?
97
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000
I was going to bring Clare round
after showing her
98
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,000
but I can't show her this!
99
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,000
You have to make space
for this sort of marquee
100
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000
if you want to host
weddings here.
101
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000
Without it,
you've no catering flow.
102
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000
No flow, no go.
103
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,000
-Yeah...
-Guys,
104
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,000
you've got to get it
wedding ready.
105
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,000
-We'll clear it.
-We will?
106
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,000
Is what I wanted to hear!
107
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000
Let's make this happen.
108
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,000
I'll delay Clare
as long as I can. Say...
109
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000
4:00? Ciao-ciao!
110
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,000
MIKE: Five hours?
111
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,000
Loads of time.
112
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,000
PAT: So, Film Club!
Now, I know it's not my turn
113
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,000
I would like to lobby hard...
114
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,000
for Top Gun.
115
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000
Not again!
116
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,000
I don't know about you, Mary,
but, I quite like the look of...
117
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000
ooh, Chariots Of Fire?
118
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000
No. Actually, er, how about...
119
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,000
Mississippi Burning?
120
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000
Towering Inferno?
121
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,000
-Hmm!
-Huh!
122
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,000
-Maybe she is ready.
-Could be the case.
123
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,000
Anyway, it's my turn
to choose this week,
124
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,000
-so tish-tish-tish...
-I don't think so, mate!
125
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000
Faradiddle, sir!
126
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000
You had your turn two weeks ago.
You swapped with me.
127
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,000
No, no, I don't recall to that.
And even if I did,
128
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,000
-it would have been a verbal,
non-binding agreement.
129
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,000
I would show you my glove, sir!
If I had one.
130
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,000
I would give you
a bunch of fives, mate.
131
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,000
I used to box for Cambridge,
you know!
132
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000
Go! Let's go!
133
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,000
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
S'il vous plait!
134
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,000
-French.
-Ooh!
135
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000
Why don't we put it to the vote?
136
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,000
Oh, yeah, put it to the people,
like they know
137
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,000
Hands up who thinks
it's Thomas's turn.
138
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000
I've got my hand up.
139
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000
Probably. Somewhere.
140
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:32,000
Ra-da-da-da-da!
Hang on, not everyone's here.
141
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000
Well, where are they?
142
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Oh!
143
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,000
Hmm! Ooh!
144
00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:00,000
ALISON: Oh... my... God.
145
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,000
Oh, Martin's right.
We're never going to be
146
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,000
Well, let's get redding-we...
redding-ready. Er, wed...
147
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,000
-Oh, no.
148
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000
-Ready...
-Alison, if you please,
149
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000
that it's his turn
to choose Film Club,
150
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000
Please, everyone,
we're having a bit
151
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,000
This is a crisis. You know?
I mean, it might not be
152
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,000
-but this is very...
-Guys, guys, guys, guys...
153
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,000
Shut up! Good.
154
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000
Let her speak.
It's all right,
155
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000
We're trying to get
this wedding booking.
156
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000
Oh, there's going to be
a wedding?
157
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000
How wonderful!
158
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,000
The dresses, the men,
the kissing...
159
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,000
But we need to clear
this whole garden by four!
160
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000
-MIKE AND PAT: Hang on a minute.
-Ooh, jinx.
161
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000
-You go first, Michael.
-We can do it.
162
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,000
If we clear that... Hmm...
163
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,000
And then we move this...
164
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,000
And I'll help, too.
165
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,000
-How, Pat?
-I could be your wingman!
166
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,000
You know, like in Top Gun.
167
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,000
I can be Goose
to your Maverick. Yeah.
168
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,000
I keep this lot occupied
while you do
169
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:58,000
And Goose dies in the film,
so, y'know... it works out,
170
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000
Thanks, Pat.
171
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000
Yeah. Course we can fit
a marquee in.
172
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000
I mean, how hard can it be?
They put a man on the moon.
173
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000
What? What? What he say?
174
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000
-Er...
-Man on moonah?
175
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,000
Okay, I'll go get the tools.
You check the measurements.
176
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000
-Let's get redding red...
-Wedding ready.
177
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000
-Redding...
-Wedding ready.
178
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000
-Let's get wedderi...
-It's wedding ready.
179
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000
Let's do this!
180
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,000
-Yesss!
-MARY: Alison?
181
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,000
What was the man doing
up there on the moon?
182
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,000
They went to explore.
183
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000
-Oh!
-THOMAS: And how did
184
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,000
Climb up a beanstalk, did he?
You're dicked in the knob.
185
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000
-Wha...
-ROBIN: I don't believe it.
186
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,000
-No. No.
-There's no way it could happen!
187
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,000
Pat, now would be
a really good moment
188
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,000
Great! Okay, everyone,
let's turn and burn.
189
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000
-Oh, sorry, Mary.
-
190
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,000
It's a quote from Top Gun.
191
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000
Let's grab the computer
that folds.
192
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,000
FANNY: Oh, goodness me!
193
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,000
Ooh! Oh!
194
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,000
But he's such a...
195
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000
a ruffian!
196
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,000
Oh!
197
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000
Oh!
198
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,000
FANNY: Mmm!
199
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000
PAT: Think about it, Robin.
200
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,000
Man has always looked up
at the moon and thought...
201
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,000
"Can you eat it?"
202
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000
No, "Can you walk on it?"
203
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Press play.
204
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:30,000
In 1969,
the world watched in wonder
205
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,000
as three brave astronauts
took off from Cape Canaveral.
206
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000
-Their destination, the moon.
-ROBIN: Ooh!
207
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000
PAT: It was an amazing moment.
208
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,000
Everyone remembers
where they were.
209
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,000
I was with Carole,
at her parents'.
210
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,000
Fish and chips for tea.
211
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,000
It was the first time
I ever tried a battered
212
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,000
Never looked back!
213
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,000
JULIAN: I missed
the whole thing. I was still
214
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,000
Busy having my own
"moon landing."
215
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,000
If you know what I mean!
216
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000
My first threeso...
217
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,000
-Moonah!
-CAPTAIN: Ah, there you are.
218
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,000
What's going on here?
219
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,000
Oh! I'm, helping Alison. Yes,
220
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000
keeping this lot busy
while she and Mike
221
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000
Which garden?
222
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,000
How are you getting on?
223
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,000
It's going to be a squeeze.
First, we have to clear
224
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000
CAPTAIN: No! No.
225
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,000
Belay that order, Michael.
You can't dig there.
226
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000
Wait. Sorry, one second, Mike.
227
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Didn't you tell them we're busy?
228
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,000
-Most of them
are watching YouTube.
229
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,000
Why can't we dig there?
230
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000
Because that's
a very special part
231
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,000
That was where
our allotment was,
232
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000
Okay, it's fine, Mike,
you can just keep digging.
233
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
But, no, it's where
we buried our pets.
234
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Er... my dog is buried there,
235
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
right there. And he was
very special to me. Barry.
236
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000
Barry?
Barry.
237
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000
Wait, Mike.
238
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,000
So, sorry, you had a dog
called Barry?
239
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000
Mmm.
240
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000
Okay. Mike,
you can just carry on.
241
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000
No, thank you, Michael!
242
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,000
-Ohh! Ohhh!
-Oh, that was a deep one.
243
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000
Call him off!
Call him off, I tell you.
244
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000
Okay, just one second, Mike.
245
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,000
When I was at Button House,
there was a war on.
246
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000
I don't think
that's ever come up before.
247
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,000
There is something
buried down there
248
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,000
Captain, the war is over.
249
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
Is it, Alison? Is it?
250
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,000
Yes, it is.
251
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000
Please.
252
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Don't dig.
253
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,000
There is something down there...
254
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,000
that is potentially explosive
if it gets out.
255
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000
Er...
256
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,000
Mike, do you think
we could clear the other side?
257
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000
Just the other side, Michael.
258
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000
Looks like a lot of work.
259
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,000
-Sorry. It's a ghost thing.
-Well...
260
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000
Yep.
261
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,000
-Come!
262
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
Ah! Havers.
263
00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,000
At ease, at ease.
I was just thinking about you,
264
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
-How's the emergency
lockdown coming?
265
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,000
-Most items have been
squared away, as per the order.
266
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
-I see...
-I've come to tell you that...
267
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Sorry, you first, Lieutenant.
268
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,000
I'm afraid I'm leaving you, sir.
269
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,000
At 1800 hours this evening.
270
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000
So soon?
271
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000
That would explain
your new service revolver.
272
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000
I don't suppose
they sent one for me, did they?
273
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,000
Only for frontline personnel
at this stage, sir.
274
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000
Of course. Yes.
275
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000
It's North Africa, sir.
276
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,000
I'll be able to have
a proper swing at Fritz!
277
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000
You make sure you give them
a bloody nose!
278
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
I shall miss you, Havers.
279
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000
By which I mean, of course,
that we shall miss you.
280
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,000
And I know the Button House XI
will certainly miss
281
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
Thank you, sir.
282
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Well, if that's all...
283
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,000
Yes.
284
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000
I say, Havers?
285
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000
It's a bally shame
we won't get to finish
286
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000
...which leads to the question,
287
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
where next?
288
00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Mars, or even the outer edge
of our solar system?
289
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
Only time will tell.
290
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Well, I never.
291
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,000
-Anyway, Film Club.
-Yes! Now,
292
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,000
I was thinking 9½ Weeks.
293
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,000
-Over my already dead body, sir!
-Fine by me!
294
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000
Guys, guys, look,
why don't we settle this
295
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Quite right.
Let's settle this like men.
296
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
Would you care
to step outside, sir?
297
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000
Yes, I would, sir.
298
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Indeed, sir.
299
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Guys, you don't have to do...
300
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Where are you going?
I promised Alison
301
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,000
Okay,
the moon landings.
302
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,000
but what if that's just what
they wanted you to believe?
303
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Oh!
304
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Right, you both know the rules,
so we're agreed.
305
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000
Let's sort this
once and for all.
306
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000
On three.
307
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
One, two,
308
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
three...
309
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000
-What's that supposed to be?
-Pistol.
310
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,000
-Thomas...
-I always choose pistol.
311
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Oh, yeah, it really worked out
for you last time,
312
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
There were circumstances
around my death,
313
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,000
It's rock, paper, scissors,
Thomas. I thought I told you.
314
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
No, it's all right,
let's play it his way.
315
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,000
One, two, three...
316
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
-What's this now?
-AK-47 assault rifle.
317
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Sold 50 crates of these bad boys
to the Libyans in '83.
318
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,000
Paid for my orangery!
You can have one of these,
319
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000
-Well, you don't get
two weapons!
320
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,000
And this. Pshhhhh!
321
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
You're on fire, mate. Agh!
322
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
-Sorry, Mary.
-Well, no, actually, because...
323
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
Sorry!
324
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000
-Agh! I'm melting!
-Can't feel it.
325
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,000
What should we do with all this?
326
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,000
Maybe just pile it up over there
and then
327
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,000
I think we might just do this.
328
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000
See? Told you!
329
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Redding red...
330
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
Redditch...
331
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,000
-We got this.
-Mmm.
332
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000
Oh, great...
333
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
How are we going to move that?
334
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
I think we might have to
break it up
335
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000
-with a big hammer or something.
-What?
336
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,000
We can't do that! Can we?
337
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000
-I wanna.
-Florence!
338
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Oh... Wait.
339
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,000
I can already tell
this isn't good news.
340
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000
Who's Florence, Kitty?
341
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000
She was one of my best friends.
342
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
I used to play hide-and-seek
in the garden
343
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000
with my sister,
and I was so good at hiding
344
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,000
that often she couldn't find me
for a whole day and night!
345
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,000
I once got so hungry
I had to eat a bit of my purse.
346
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Florence kept me company.
347
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
Oh, so you made a statue of her?
348
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000
-No, she is a statue.
-Eh?
349
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,000
THOMAS: That's enough.
We'll sort this out right now.
350
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,000
-PAT: Guys!
-Oh, I'd forgotten
351
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000
Zoinks!
352
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000
Where've you been hiding?
353
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
Guys, she's a statue!
Pat, you were supposed to be
354
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
-keeping everyone occupied.
-Yeah...
355
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
It's like herding cats!
356
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
I'm sorry, Alison.
I'm a terrible wingman.
357
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000
Well, can you at least
sort out these two?
358
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Yes.
359
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000
Oh! Hang on!
360
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Guys? I think I've had an idea.
361
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:57,000
Follow me.
Let's turn and burn! Again.
362
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,000
So, are we smashing this up,
or what?
363
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,000
All right, one sec, Mike.
No, Kitty, please.
364
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,000
Oh, please stop, please.
We won't...
365
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
We're just going to, er...
We could move her.
366
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,000
It's a deal.
As long as you play
367
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000
Ah.
368
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,000
-So we're moving her?
-Yeah. Sorry.
369
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000
I think you might be an expert
370
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,000
-at this game.
-I'm very good at it, yes.
371
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
-Okay. Well, you hide first.
-Ooh!
372
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
Ooh-hoo... One,
373
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
-two...
-You'll never find me, Alison!
374
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
...three...
375
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
Okay.
376
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Sorry.
377
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
...and that's why
378
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,000
at the grassy knoll.
I mean, look at those angles.
379
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,000
WOMAN: ...because Elvis Presley
did not die that day
380
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
MAN 2: That's how we know
381
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,000
the British monarchy
was replaced by lizards.
382
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,000
No, it's fine.
I have to say,
383
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Game on!
384
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000
See what you've got.
385
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,000
-Julian, serve!
-Bring it!
386
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Fie!
387
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Whoaaaaa!
388
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Yeah!
389
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Whoa!
390
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Hello, Alison.
391
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh!
392
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Ohhh! You found me!
393
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
-Oh, I found...
-Oh, you're playing, too!
394
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
I don't know... Yes!
395
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,000
No one has ever
found me before, ever!
396
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000
-You're so good at this.
-Thank you.
397
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Right, your turn to hide.
398
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,000
I'll count, you hide,
and I'll seek.
399
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
-Okay.
-One...
400
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
-Oh, it's numbers!
-Two...
401
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,000
-Oh, no, it's numbers!
-Three...
402
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Oh!
403
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Ooh! Oh!
404
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
-CAPTAIN: Fanny! Fanny!
-Oh!
405
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
-Oh, Captain!
-Fanny, are you quite all right?
406
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:26,000
No. No, I found myself having
a, er...
407
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000
a conniption fit.
408
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
-Good Lord!
-I have become...
409
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,000
attracted to someone.
410
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Well, Fanny, I, er...
411
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
I'm very flattered,
but I've got a lot of problems
412
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,000
-of my own at the moment...
-Oh, good heavens, no!
413
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
-No?
-Not you!
414
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000
-No, no, no. Never you!
-No, silly.
415
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:47,000
No, I cannot say who.
416
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000
But I know not what to do.
417
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Now, steady, Fanny,
steady the Buffs.
418
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,000
Now, look here,
nothing good will come of it.
419
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,000
You must take that emotion
and you must bury it.
420
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Never let it out.
421
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
No more, Fanny, no more.
422
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Wha...
423
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Ooh! Oh!
424
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000
Any luck?
425
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Just can't move...
426
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,000
-It's pointless!
427
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
MIKE: That was my favourite toe!
428
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
ALISON: You have
a favourite toe?
429
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
MIKE: Don't you have
a favourite toe?
430
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000
ALISON: Oh, I'd not really
thought about it, Mike.
431
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,000
No, no, not fair.
The head was out.
432
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000
THOMAS: What!
Tell them, Humphrey.
433
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Oh, don't ask me.
I'm just happy to be part of
434
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000
-Right, well,
435
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
-as the judge here...
-Oh, yeah.
436
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
Yeah, let's listen to the judge.
437
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000
-Let's listen to the man.
-What?
438
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,000
Lone gunman? Do me favour!
439
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,000
And Paul McCartney died in 1966.
I know it.
440
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Don't even get me started
on the so-called
441
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000
-HUMPHREY: Whooo!
-Sorry!
442
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,000
-Oh, don't worry.
It's actually quite a nice view.
443
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,000
-I have found you!
-Ohhh!
444
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,000
-That was wonderful!
-Now, erm, you hide
445
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000
-Yes. No peeking!
-No, no peeking.
446
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000
-One...
447
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Two...
448
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Three...
449
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
-Four...
-Oh, I'm so done with this.
450
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
No. No.
451
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
-You know what?
-MARY: Fourteen...
452
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
We've cleared loads.
I'll get rid of the garden waste
453
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000
and we'll make the best of it.
Huh?
454
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,000
-Yeah.
-Alison!
455
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000
-There is something
456
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,000
It is a matter of
moral rectitude,
457
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000
-ROBIN: Open your eyes!
-Next, you'll be telling me
458
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000
-gravity doesn't exist!
-Well, you can't see it.
459
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000
-How do you know?
-Alison,
460
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,000
could you explain to Robin
that the moon landings
461
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000
The moon landings!
462
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
-You cannot be serious.
-MARY: Ninety-six,
463
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,000
ninety-seven,
464
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
ninety-eight,
465
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
ninety-nine.
One hundred!
466
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Oh. Ah...
467
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000
What the bally hell
do you think you're playing at?
468
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,000
Alison! Get away from there!
469
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000
Get down!
Get right out of the way.
470
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000
It's a bomb!
471
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Mike, Mike, get back!
Just get back!
472
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Go!
473
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Get down!
474
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,000
FANNY: Captain?
475
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
-Oh.
-
476
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000
Yeah, maybe you right
about gravity.
477
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,000
Now, I realise that was
an utterly futile gesture,
478
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000
but I was very much caught up
in the moment.
479
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Wh... What the hell was that?
480
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
I was very clear, Alison.
481
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,000
What? I didn't think you meant
literally explosive!
482
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000
-it was scandalous.
-No!
483
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,000
It was a prototype limpet mine.
484
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000
It was so secret,
that only I knew about it.
485
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
And my second-in-command,
Lieutenant Havers, but...
486
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000
he left me.
487
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000
I mean, he left for the front.
488
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,000
So, er, I had to bury it
on my own,
489
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Operation William,
it was called.
490
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000
-Oh, that's Martin.
491
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,000
-That was a ghost thing?
-Yeah.
492
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,000
Maybe next time,
tell me if there's a bomb!
493
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,000
I didn't know!
494
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,000
Okay,
495
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,000
I'll stall Clare and Martin
in the house and you just...
496
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
Oh, you just do what you can.
497
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,000
Yeah. Actually,
a very clever little device,
498
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000
a cunning timing mechanism
499
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,000
in the housing
allowed the frogmen
500
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000
Anyway...
501
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000
They've gone, haven't they?
502
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000
-Good!
-Go on.
503
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,000
Ah, Robin.
Now, so, they had four suckers.
504
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
-Suckers.
-And they attached
505
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,000
underneath the waterline,
blew a hole in the boat,
506
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,000
and then, of course,
the boat sank.
507
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
...and this is the main
common room.
508
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000
Again.
509
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,000
-And we thought...
-It is really nice,
510
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Did you want to see the library?
511
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000
-Again?
-I'd really love to see
512
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Now...
513
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
Clare, I need you
to keep an open mind.
514
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,000
We know that
the rest of the house
515
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000
and we are working on
the garden, believe me.
516
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Erm...
517
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000
Redding weddy!
518
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000
I love it!
519
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Great!
520
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,000
PAT: Okay,
521
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000
so, really exciting
presentation tonight, guys.
522
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:28,000
As promised,
Mary is going to be giving
523
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,000
No, sorry, no!
524
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,000
I've had, a...
a bit of a setback.
525
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Okay. Okay, yeah,
that's understandable, isn't it,
526
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,000
-Sorry.
-Yes. So, now, seeing as
527
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000
we technically
didn't finish the match,
528
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,000
I'm calling the volleyball game
a draw.
529
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,000
-What? Are you on drugs?
-No! I was ahead!
530
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,000
That's enough.
That's absolutely enough.
531
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Now, since we can't
resolve this,
532
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,000
I've decided that
I'm going to choose
533
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,000
Is it Love Actually?
I love Love Actually, actually.
534
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000
-9½ Weeks.
-The Notebook.
535
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Please don't shout out, okay?
536
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,000
The film I've chosen
has something for everyone.
537
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,000
Drama, visual poetry...
538
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,000
It's got some of
your lot in it, Robin.
539
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,000
-Ooh!
-And some pretty ladies
540
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,000
Yeah!
541
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,000
It is, of course...
542
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:19,000
2001: A Space Odyssey.
543
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Thanks, Pat.
You can be my wingman any time.
544
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000
Bullshit, you can be mine.
545
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,000
It's from Top Gun.
546
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,000
ALISON: Just here.
547
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000
Ooh,
that's got a kick to it, that.
548
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,000
-Okay.
-Mmm. Mmm!
549
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000
What was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
550
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,000
Oh! No, just a passing fancy
is all, Alison.
551
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:00,000
-Kitty, I'm sorry
about Florence.
552
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000
I wasn't really
that fond of her, anyway.
553
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
You're a much better best friend
than she was.
554
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Thanks, Kitty.
555
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,000
Wait. No, that not right.
556
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000
-What?
-Earth not round. It flat.
557
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,000
-You what?
-It flat.
558
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000
-To our first wedding booking!
-Cheers.
559
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Here's to buried secrets.
36755
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