Original subtitles

We interrupt this program to bring you...

Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog.

Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere

with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

Stupid dog.

You made me look bad.

- Ooga Boogga Boogga! - Aahhh!

[car running]

[Helicopter whirring]

Faster! Drive faster!

If they catch us with it, we're done for.

[brakes squealing]

CAT: What are you doing?

SECOND CAT: You're right.

We got to hide the thing

where we can find it later.

There, the water pump.

[Helicopter whirring]

[Helicopter whirring]

We'll come back for it when the heat's off.

And we'll be rich.

Hey!

What happened to the road?

EERIE VOICE: Return the slab or suffer my curse.

Curse?

What curse?

[buzzing]

Aah!

[Helicopter whirring]

What's going on out there?

Huh?

[knock on door]

Why, what's this now?

Oh, my, this looks very old.

Eustace?

Huh?

Come look what Courage found.

What do you suppose it could be?

Well, judging by the markings

and the obvious age of the relic,

I'd have to say it would be garbage!

Eustace!

Garbage from King Garbage of the Garbage Dynasty.

Stupid dog. Always bringing garbage into the house.

TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: But the big story today...

Million-dollar slab stolen from the Tomb of King Ramses.

Eh?

I'm rich!

But the man says it was stolen, Eustace.

We must return it to its rightful place.

He said a million-dollar slab,

and that means I get a million dollars.

And you know what a million dollars means.

Ooh!

That's right! New lawn chairs.

[babbling]

Nowhere News? I want to put an ad in the paper.

Yes, sir.

You start running that ad right away.

[knock on door]

What's your offer?

I am Professor Frith of the Institute of the Pharaoh.

I've come to retrieve the slab.

You see, Eustace, I told you it was stolen.

[babbling]

Ha ha ha! What's your offer?

Sir, the Institute for the Pharaoh is member supported.

But for every million-dollar donation,

you'll receive this sporty tote bag

with our thanks.

[door slams]

Eustace, we really should give it back, you know.

Uh-uh. Finders keepers.

Rich, rich, rich, rich, rich.

Fly swatter, spark plugs,

shovel handle, razor blade,

light bulb for the attic.

[door knob rattling]

Oh!

Return the slab.

What?

Return the slab

or suffer my curse.

What's your offer?

This night, you will be visited by 3 plagues,

each worse than the last.

Return the slab.

Hah! Nice try, Professor.

Who's he kidding?

I can see the zipper on that cheap dime store costume.

Oh!

Huh?

Huh?

Courage, did you leave the tub running?

Oh! Eee! Ooh!

[screaming]

Eustace? Hold on. Where's Eustace?

[gasping]

[gasping]

Oh, come on.

Ahh.

Return the slab.

What's your offer?

What's your--huh?

[music blaring]

Oh!

Courage, make it stop.

Whew.

GHOST: Return the slab.

Oh! Eustace, what are you waiting for?

Till we're 6 feet under?

All right, but a million's as low as I'll go.

[buzzing]

Aah!

Return the slab.

MURIEL: Aah!

Return the slab.

Let go!

Return the slab.

Aah!

Ok, ok, you can have it!

Ahh.

Whew! Oh!

No! I can't believe I did that.

It's mine... Eh?

That's 3 plagues. You're out of ammo, mister.

Heh heh heh heh.

And don't think you can come around here

pushing no tote bags on us, neither.

What's your offer?

Return the slab.

Aah!

At last, the allegedly cursed slab

has been returned to King Ramses' crypt,

where it will remain buried in antiquity for all time.

Oh, I wonder where Eustace is.

EUSTACE: Aah!

What's your offer?

S' Ramses... S'

[snoring]

[Eustace muttering]

Wool socks.

Wool socks!

Y ah'. Y ah'. Y ah'. Y ah'.!

Wool socks!

You stupid dog!

What are you doing itching my foot?

[babbling]

Eustace? Eustace.

Is there something wrong?

My foot. My foot!

Oh!

Ew!

Looks like you've got a fungus.

Don't worry, Eustace.

I know some family remedies.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Huh?

Aah!

[muttering]

Aah!

Oh, dear.

There's just one thing left to do.

Ain't goin' to no doctor.

You really should, Eustace.

L ain't going!

It's as big as a cow.

You have to go.

Make me!

Ah, suit yourself.

But I think it's starting to fester.

All I need is a nap.

Ew!

[snoring]

That's all I needed...A nap.

I feel like a million bucks!

Yep! Nap did the trick. Foot feels fine.

Aah!

Aah!

Ooh!

I'm the big toe, see?

Yeah, see?

And what I say goes, see?

Got me?

Yeah, got it, boss.

See what? See what?

See this!

Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

Ooh. Aah!

Where's my Eustace?

What have you done with my Eustace?

Shut up, fat woman.

You won't be needing your husband anymore, see?

So, listen up.

Yeah, listen up.

Yeah, listen up.

We're going to pull a heist, see?

Yeah, a heist.

It's Sunday, and the banks are closed.

So, we knock over a bank, see?

Oh, no! Gangsters!

Muriel, get away!

You can't do that.

It's against the law.

Aah!

Ow!

Ok, dog. It's like this.

You drive us to the bank

or the fat lady gets it, see?

Yeah, or the fat lady gets it.

Yeah, the fat lady gets it.

I knew I should have learned how to drive a stick.

Ok, dog, now you break into the bank

and you bring us all the dough, see?

NOW, see?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Get going or we'll put the squeeze

on the fat lady, see?

MURIEL: Aah! Ooh.

Ow!

Aah!

Yipes!

[ice cubes screaming]

I don't know why I thought that would work.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

COURAGE: Uh-oh.

Aah!

Oh!

Courage, you're all right.

Dumb dog, you blew up the money.

Quick, dog, get us out of here.

Ok, I got another plan, see?

Yeah, another plan.

Ok, you stand still, see,

and you make sure the train stops.

Huh?

Or the fat lady gets it.

Yeah, the fat lady gets it.

Yeah, the fat lady gets it.

Aah! Ooh.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Yeah!

You dumb dog, you made me kick too hard, see?

Uh-oh!

I've been thinking too small, see?

So now we're going to pull a big job.

A real big job.

We're going to knock over Florida, see?

Yeah, Florida.

Yeah, Florida.

Where's Florida?

But knocking over Florida is against the law, I think.

Not me--the farmer! His foot!

Oh!

FUNGUS: Tampa, Fort Lauderdale, Saint Pete, Miami.

Not Boca. They can keep Boca.

I hate Boca.

COMPUTER: Dog spit.

Oh!

Then the brass ring, the pot of gold,

the big bazooly, the Burt Reynolds dinner theatre.

I just know this is going to leave

a bad taste in my mouth.

MURIEL: Ow!

Yuck! Yuck! Stop it.

Yeah, see? Yeah, see?

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, yeah! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ah. Wool socks.

Ooh.

Ah!

Oh, thank you, Courage.

I thought I was going to be squished.

Plack! Ptooie!

FUNGUS, MUFFLED: A big heist, see? Yeah, see?

Yeah, big heist, see?

Ok, listen up. Here's the plan, see?

Ok, dog. It's like this...

Or the fat lady gets it, see?

EUSTACE: Stupid dog!

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