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1
00:03:00,573 --> 00:03:02,199
Thank you.
2
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,582
All right, good night.
3
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:15,421
Thank you, thank you very much
indeed. My name is Eric Idle.
4
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,426
And if you think you're here
to see Billy Idol...
5
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:23,137
...you can bugger off now, okay?
6
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:28,350
Tonight we celebrate
the Ruby Jubilee of Monty Python.
7
00:03:36,525 --> 00:03:40,196
That's right,
we're celebrating 400 years...
8
00:03:40,404 --> 00:03:42,448
...of some of these jokes.
9
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,076
And tonight we have for you
a premiere.
10
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,996
We have this fantastic band...
11
00:03:58,714 --> 00:04:00,299
...from the BBC.
12
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,594
And tonight they're under the baton
of a wonderful man...
13
00:04:03,969 --> 00:04:06,680
...a great partner of mine,
a great composer...
14
00:04:06,889 --> 00:04:09,350
...and a great friend, John Du Prez.
15
00:04:18,484 --> 00:04:21,445
Now, tonight there will be
one or two surprise guests...
16
00:04:21,654 --> 00:04:25,116
...so if you spot them,
please act surprised, okay?
17
00:04:25,324 --> 00:04:26,784
And respond accordingly.
18
00:04:26,992 --> 00:04:30,538
But first will you welcome, please,
our soloists for tonight...
19
00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:34,291
...Christopher Purves,
Shannon Mercer...
20
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,961
...William Ferguson
and Rosalind Plowright.
21
00:04:41,632 --> 00:04:44,635
And in order to start the oratorio...
22
00:04:44,844 --> 00:04:48,264
...will you please welcome
somebody very special indeed...
23
00:04:48,472 --> 00:04:52,643
...who's playing the narrator tonight,
Mrs. Betty Palin.
24
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,173
Why do they titter so?
25
00:05:56,832 --> 00:06:00,085
You know,
I'd never heard of Monty Python...
26
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:02,880
...until one day in 1940.
27
00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:07,885
It was early in the war and things
were going very badly for our boys.
28
00:06:08,177 --> 00:06:13,432
There was a shortage of lipstick and
many of the men had to share nylons.
29
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:16,185
In a small hotel near Henley...
30
00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:19,396
...where I'd gone for a weekend
with a rear admiral...
31
00:06:19,772 --> 00:06:23,192
...I found a book
that was to change my life...
32
00:06:24,193 --> 00:06:27,571
...and eventually my sex.
33
00:06:28,781 --> 00:06:32,118
In 1942, after a brief naval operation...
34
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:35,079
...I became a woman...
35
00:06:35,287 --> 00:06:39,125
...and moved to Canada
to become a lumberjack.
36
00:06:41,794 --> 00:06:45,464
And then on to Alaska
to give birth to a governor...
37
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,967
...but that's another story.
38
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,100
The book I found...
39
00:06:56,308 --> 00:06:59,895
...was by someone called
Monty Python.
40
00:07:00,104 --> 00:07:01,814
And it was called:
41
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:05,901
The Book of Brian.
42
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:36,390
The Book of Brian
43
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:42,521
From The Book of Brian
44
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,318
And at that time
45
00:07:47,526 --> 00:07:49,820
There shall be chaos
46
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,865
Chaos
47
00:07:53,157 --> 00:07:54,325
Chaos
48
00:07:54,617 --> 00:07:55,910
Chaos
49
00:07:56,368 --> 00:07:59,497
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
50
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,999
Chaos
51
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,710
And confusion
52
00:08:05,211 --> 00:08:06,670
Confusion
53
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:08,422
Confusion
54
00:08:08,631 --> 00:08:10,007
Confusion
55
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,176
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
56
00:08:12,384 --> 00:08:16,597
Chaos, chaos, chaos and confusion
57
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,935
Chaos and confusion
58
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:24,688
Chaos and confusion
59
00:08:24,897 --> 00:08:26,524
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
60
00:08:26,732 --> 00:08:30,444
Chaos, chaos, chaos and confusion
61
00:08:30,736 --> 00:08:33,531
And irritation
62
00:08:33,739 --> 00:08:37,243
Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn
Damn, damn, damn, damn
63
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:42,123
Damn, damn, damn, damn
Damn, damn, damn, damnation
64
00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:44,041
Damnation
65
00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:45,543
Damnation
66
00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:47,795
Damnation
67
00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:49,380
Damnation
68
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,883
Chaos and confusion
69
00:08:53,509 --> 00:08:56,887
Chaos and confusion
70
00:08:57,096 --> 00:09:00,182
Chaos and damnation
71
00:09:00,683 --> 00:09:03,978
Chaos and damnation
72
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:05,813
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
73
00:09:06,021 --> 00:09:09,400
Chaos, chaos, chaos and confusion
74
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,235
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
75
00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:14,155
Chaos, chaos, chaos and damnation
76
00:09:14,405 --> 00:09:16,157
And disagreement
77
00:09:16,949 --> 00:09:18,534
- I don't agree
- I disagree
78
00:09:18,742 --> 00:09:20,327
- You're telling me
- I don't agree
79
00:09:20,619 --> 00:09:21,662
You don't agree with me?
80
00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:23,664
- Oh, no
- I don't agree with all of you
81
00:09:23,873 --> 00:09:26,083
- And so, what's that supposed to mean?
- Don't know
82
00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:28,586
- I disagree
- You're telling me you don't agree
83
00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:31,088
I disagree with all of you
84
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:32,923
- I'm right
- You're wrong
85
00:09:33,132 --> 00:09:34,884
- I'm right
- You're wrong
86
00:09:35,092 --> 00:09:36,510
- I'm right
- You're wrong
87
00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:37,970
I'm right, you're wrong
88
00:09:38,179 --> 00:09:39,722
- I don't agree
- I disagree
89
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:41,932
- You're telling me
- I don't agree
90
00:09:42,141 --> 00:09:43,434
- Don't agree with me?
- Oh, no
91
00:09:43,642 --> 00:09:45,019
I disagree with all of you
92
00:09:45,227 --> 00:09:46,937
And so, what's that supposed to mean?
93
00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,272
- Don't know
- I disagree
94
00:09:48,481 --> 00:09:50,274
You're telling me you don't agree
95
00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:52,943
Oh, get lost! Shut up!
96
00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:06,624
There was a general feeling
That the end of the world was nigh
97
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:13,255
There shall be monsters
98
00:10:13,464 --> 00:10:16,759
There shall be monsters
99
00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:20,095
There shall be monsters
100
00:10:20,304 --> 00:10:25,976
With swollen bellies and great big lips
101
00:10:26,644 --> 00:10:30,147
And the beast shall have six heads
102
00:10:30,356 --> 00:10:33,484
And will run about the streets
103
00:10:33,859 --> 00:10:36,987
On 12 legs shouting "Fire!"
104
00:10:37,196 --> 00:10:40,658
On 12 legs shouting "Fire!"
105
00:10:40,866 --> 00:10:44,286
On 12 legs shouting "Fire!"
106
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:47,665
In crowded places
107
00:10:48,124 --> 00:10:51,669
There shall be monsters
108
00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:55,339
There shall be monsters
109
00:10:55,548 --> 00:10:58,843
There shall be monsters
110
00:10:59,051 --> 00:11:03,347
With swollen bellies and great big lips
111
00:11:05,349 --> 00:11:08,936
- And the beast shall have six heads
- And the beast shall have six heads
112
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:11,856
- And will run about the streets
- And will run about the streets
113
00:11:12,064 --> 00:11:15,818
- On 12 legs shouting "Fire!"
- Fire, fire, fire, fire
114
00:11:16,026 --> 00:11:19,196
- On 12 legs shouting "Fire!"
- Fire, fire, fire, fire
115
00:11:19,405 --> 00:11:23,451
- On 12 legs shouting "Fire!"
- Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire
116
00:11:23,659 --> 00:11:26,370
In crowded places
117
00:11:26,579 --> 00:11:29,498
- And a 16-breasted Gorgon
- And a 16-breasted Gorgon
118
00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:33,210
- Shall squat on a pole
- Shall squat on a pole
119
00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:35,296
Singing in French
120
00:11:41,552 --> 00:11:44,180
And some will say this is crap
121
00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:47,725
And religion is a trap
122
00:11:48,768 --> 00:11:52,563
And instead of reading prophecies
123
00:11:52,772 --> 00:11:57,234
You'd far better take a nap
124
00:11:58,194 --> 00:12:01,947
But other people
125
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:05,117
Will be sore afraid
126
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,122
Other people
127
00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:13,459
Will be sore afraid
128
00:12:15,711 --> 00:12:17,880
Other people
129
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:21,675
Will be sore afraid
130
00:12:22,718 --> 00:12:24,970
And cry out
131
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:30,976
Unto their Lord
132
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:35,231
O God, you are so big
133
00:12:35,439 --> 00:12:39,110
You are so very huge
134
00:12:39,318 --> 00:12:40,569
My word
135
00:12:40,778 --> 00:12:45,449
What a size you are
136
00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:49,370
And we are tiny in thy sight
137
00:12:49,578 --> 00:12:53,791
So very small and very grotty
138
00:12:53,999 --> 00:12:57,545
And smelly and stupid
139
00:12:57,753 --> 00:13:01,799
And cheesy and spotty
140
00:13:02,508 --> 00:13:05,970
- You are so big
- You are so big
141
00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:09,473
- We are so small
- We are so small
142
00:13:09,849 --> 00:13:13,352
- You are so huge
- You are so huge
143
00:13:13,561 --> 00:13:17,148
- We are so tiny
- We are so tiny
144
00:13:17,356 --> 00:13:19,567
You are so big
145
00:13:19,775 --> 00:13:22,361
And we are naughty
146
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:28,492
In thy sight
147
00:13:29,702 --> 00:13:32,955
O God, you are so big
148
00:13:33,164 --> 00:13:36,667
You are so very huge
149
00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:38,085
My word
150
00:13:38,294 --> 00:13:43,174
What a size you are
151
00:13:43,549 --> 00:13:47,094
And we are tiny in thy sight
152
00:13:47,303 --> 00:13:51,724
So very small and very grotty
153
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:55,352
And smelly and stupid
154
00:13:55,561 --> 00:13:59,690
And cheesy and spotty
155
00:14:00,232 --> 00:14:03,944
- You are so big
- You are so big
156
00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:07,573
- We are so small
- We are so small
157
00:14:07,823 --> 00:14:11,202
- You are so huge
- You are so huge
158
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:15,080
- We are so tiny
- We are so tiny
159
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,458
You are so big
160
00:14:17,666 --> 00:14:20,503
And we are naughty
161
00:14:20,711 --> 00:14:25,049
- In
- In
162
00:14:25,257 --> 00:14:31,305
Thy sight
163
00:14:41,232 --> 00:14:42,900
The evangelist Monty tells of...
164
00:14:43,109 --> 00:14:46,779
...the rather less than immaculate
conception of Brian.
165
00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:55,996
There was a young woman
Called Mandy
166
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:59,333
A friend of the Lord's
167
00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:02,253
Who sold gourds in a stall
168
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:07,883
Oh, who will buy my pretty gourds?
169
00:15:08,592 --> 00:15:10,636
Round and small
170
00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:14,974
Five shekels for them all
171
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:18,978
Along came a Roman centurion
172
00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:22,773
- Nice gourds
- Said he
173
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:27,361
Mind if I touch 'em?
174
00:15:29,405 --> 00:15:32,450
- Dream on
- Said she
175
00:15:33,993 --> 00:15:37,830
No one gets to touch my gourds
176
00:15:38,164 --> 00:15:40,374
Till I see
177
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:45,379
The rewards for me
178
00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:50,217
- Nothing is free
- Well...
179
00:15:50,426 --> 00:15:54,305
He promised me
Half the then-known world
180
00:15:54,805 --> 00:15:56,640
Asses' milk
181
00:15:56,849 --> 00:16:01,645
To bathe in every day
182
00:16:01,854 --> 00:16:05,566
All the gold that I could eat
183
00:16:06,192 --> 00:16:08,611
A house in Rome
184
00:16:08,819 --> 00:16:12,740
Right on the Appian Way
185
00:16:16,035 --> 00:16:20,164
Soon he had his way with her
186
00:16:20,706 --> 00:16:24,418
Proved he was a man
187
00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:29,006
But like a rat out of an aqueduct
188
00:16:30,049 --> 00:16:33,761
When he was done, he ran
189
00:16:34,553 --> 00:16:38,557
Mandy was abandoned
190
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:41,185
All alone
191
00:16:41,393 --> 00:16:45,689
Where was she to go?
192
00:16:47,149 --> 00:16:51,362
Oh, woe, woe, woe
193
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:52,822
- Woe, woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
194
00:16:53,030 --> 00:16:53,531
- Woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
195
00:16:53,572 --> 00:16:54,073
- Woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
196
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,409
- Woe, woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
197
00:16:57,618 --> 00:16:58,953
- Woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
198
00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:00,663
Woe, woe, woe
199
00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:03,749
Alone, abandoned, and worse
200
00:17:05,751 --> 00:17:08,629
Six weeks without the curse
201
00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:12,258
Such rotten luck
202
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,677
She was knocked up
203
00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:18,055
Woe, oh, woe, oh, woe
204
00:17:18,264 --> 00:17:19,723
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
205
00:17:19,932 --> 00:17:24,270
Alone without a husband
206
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:28,816
- What's to become of me?
- Not a lot
207
00:17:29,024 --> 00:17:30,985
Where can I turn?
208
00:17:31,193 --> 00:17:33,237
And what can I do?
209
00:17:33,446 --> 00:17:38,200
- What chance for my progeny?
- None whatever
210
00:17:38,409 --> 00:17:42,580
In an utterly male-dominated world
211
00:17:42,788 --> 00:17:46,917
In a Middle East society
212
00:17:47,626 --> 00:17:52,339
A woman who is not married at all
213
00:17:52,548 --> 00:17:58,053
- What kind of chance has she?
- Not a snowball's chance in hell
214
00:17:58,262 --> 00:18:01,766
- The time drew nigh
- Nigh, nigh, nigh, nigh, nigh, nigh
215
00:18:01,974 --> 00:18:06,353
- For now there is really no doubt
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
216
00:18:06,562 --> 00:18:10,775
That she was clearly great with child
217
00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:14,403
And really not bad without
218
00:18:14,612 --> 00:18:16,697
Know what I mean
Say no more
219
00:18:16,906 --> 00:18:18,073
Nudge, nudge
220
00:18:46,644 --> 00:18:48,062
Bethlehem in Judea.
221
00:18:48,687 --> 00:18:50,314
Nought BC.
222
00:19:05,329 --> 00:19:09,625
And there were shepherds
Abiding in the fields
223
00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:13,838
Keeping watch o'er their flocks
By night
224
00:19:14,547 --> 00:19:18,759
And there were shepherds
Abiding in the fields
225
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:23,514
Keeping watch o'er their flocks
By night
226
00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:27,685
Oh, we are humble shepherds
And our flocks we keep
227
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:32,273
There's nothing we like better
Than just watching sheep
228
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:36,694
We count them every day and night
Until we fall asleep
229
00:19:36,902 --> 00:19:41,240
And then we count them once again
'Cause we love sheep
230
00:19:41,449 --> 00:19:45,870
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
231
00:19:46,078 --> 00:19:49,957
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
232
00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:54,336
They're full of woolly thinking
Intellectually not deep
233
00:19:54,545 --> 00:19:56,714
But never mind their minds
We finds
234
00:19:56,922 --> 00:19:58,674
We all love sheep
235
00:20:03,387 --> 00:20:07,600
I wouldn't watch a flock of birds
Peep peep peep
236
00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:12,062
And watching flocks of cats
Would just make my skin creep
237
00:20:12,271 --> 00:20:16,400
And watching bloody camels
Is enough to make you weep
238
00:20:16,609 --> 00:20:20,988
They gives us all the hump
Because we all love sheep
239
00:20:21,197 --> 00:20:24,325
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
240
00:20:25,785 --> 00:20:29,705
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
241
00:20:29,914 --> 00:20:34,043
They're nicer than a wife
And they are certainly more cheap
242
00:20:34,251 --> 00:20:38,255
And you can eat them afterwards
And get some sleep
243
00:20:40,966 --> 00:20:47,431
We all love sheep
244
00:20:58,943 --> 00:21:02,488
Is it A.D. Yet?
245
00:21:03,322 --> 00:21:04,740
About a quarter to.
246
00:21:14,291 --> 00:21:18,045
Look, in the sky over Bethlehem!
247
00:21:18,254 --> 00:21:20,714
Jesus Christ!
248
00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:22,800
No, next door.
249
00:21:23,217 --> 00:21:25,678
Oh, Mrs. Cohen's.
250
00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:31,475
Oh, blimey, it's a boy.
251
00:21:31,976 --> 00:21:33,853
He was born in a stable
252
00:21:36,647 --> 00:21:40,526
- In a far distant land
- Amen, brother.
253
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:44,155
He was born on a table
254
00:21:44,864 --> 00:21:48,826
The only thing handy
255
00:21:49,034 --> 00:21:53,205
To a woman named Mandy
256
00:21:53,414 --> 00:21:59,003
This man we call Brian
257
00:21:59,712 --> 00:22:02,381
He was not the chosen one
258
00:22:02,590 --> 00:22:05,342
Not the hero of his race
259
00:22:05,551 --> 00:22:10,347
Just the wrong man at the wrong time
In the wrong place
260
00:22:10,556 --> 00:22:13,267
He was not the chosen one
261
00:22:13,476 --> 00:22:18,689
Not the hero of his race
262
00:22:19,023 --> 00:22:22,985
Just the wrong man at the wrong time
263
00:22:23,194 --> 00:22:25,863
In the wrong place
264
00:22:26,489 --> 00:22:30,701
This man that we call
265
00:22:31,368 --> 00:22:33,287
Brian
266
00:22:33,788 --> 00:22:35,998
Brian
267
00:22:36,665 --> 00:22:42,129
Brian
268
00:22:52,473 --> 00:22:57,144
And the young boy Brian
Grew to be a man
269
00:22:57,353 --> 00:23:01,941
In all the usual places
270
00:23:02,149 --> 00:23:06,654
And dreamed of doing
Very naughty things
271
00:23:06,862 --> 00:23:11,242
To girls with lovely faces
272
00:23:11,450 --> 00:23:16,247
I dreamed that girls
Wearing only underwear
273
00:23:16,455 --> 00:23:20,751
Undressed me and caressed me
274
00:23:21,168 --> 00:23:25,840
They rubbed me and scrubbed me
And tubbed me in warm oil
275
00:23:26,048 --> 00:23:30,428
And on my body they pressed me
276
00:23:30,678 --> 00:23:32,221
And his mother said:
277
00:23:32,596 --> 00:23:35,391
Brian, leave it alone
278
00:23:35,808 --> 00:23:40,479
And stop this sighing and moaning
279
00:23:40,771 --> 00:23:45,317
Take those naughty scrolls
And throw them on the coals
280
00:23:45,526 --> 00:23:49,697
Or we'll be late for the stoning
281
00:23:49,905 --> 00:23:54,660
I am not coming with you, Mother dear
282
00:23:55,327 --> 00:23:58,789
Stoning is so depressing
283
00:24:00,166 --> 00:24:04,879
I have something that I want to say
284
00:24:05,337 --> 00:24:09,633
That you may find distressing
285
00:24:12,136 --> 00:24:15,306
I want to change the world
286
00:24:16,932 --> 00:24:21,187
To set my people free
287
00:24:23,230 --> 00:24:27,651
Suddenly I can see
288
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:33,532
What was meant to be
289
00:24:34,158 --> 00:24:36,994
This is a promised land
290
00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:43,667
A place we can call home
291
00:24:44,502 --> 00:24:49,507
I foresee our destiny
292
00:24:49,715 --> 00:24:55,096
One day free from Rome
293
00:24:55,304 --> 00:24:58,265
Once we're free
294
00:24:59,391 --> 00:25:04,522
From Roman tyranny
295
00:25:05,314 --> 00:25:09,819
We can live quite happily
296
00:25:10,027 --> 00:25:15,991
In Galilee
297
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,286
And so let's change the world
298
00:25:20,579 --> 00:25:26,502
Let's make the whole world see
299
00:25:26,710 --> 00:25:28,671
We are freer
300
00:25:29,421 --> 00:25:31,424
In Judea
301
00:25:31,632 --> 00:25:36,595
Than anyone could hope
302
00:25:36,929 --> 00:25:41,725
To be
303
00:25:41,934 --> 00:25:45,813
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Freedom, now I'm free
304
00:25:46,230 --> 00:25:49,900
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Now I'm free
305
00:25:50,109 --> 00:25:52,862
Just give me freedom, freedom
306
00:25:53,070 --> 00:25:55,114
That is all I need
307
00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:58,784
Hallelujah, now I'm free
308
00:25:59,785 --> 00:26:04,081
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Freedom, now I'm free
309
00:26:04,290 --> 00:26:07,835
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Now I'm free
310
00:26:08,043 --> 00:26:10,921
Just give me freedom, freedom
311
00:26:11,130 --> 00:26:13,132
That is all I need
312
00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:16,677
Hallelujah, now I'm free
313
00:26:16,886 --> 00:26:19,346
- Just give me freedom
- Freedom, freedom
314
00:26:19,555 --> 00:26:21,182
Now I'm free
315
00:26:21,766 --> 00:26:25,853
- I said freedom
- Freedom, freedom, now I'm free
316
00:26:26,061 --> 00:26:28,856
Just give me freedom, freedom
317
00:26:29,064 --> 00:26:30,900
That is all I need
318
00:26:31,108 --> 00:26:35,446
Hallelujah, now I'm free
Oh, yeah
319
00:26:36,113 --> 00:26:41,786
Hallelujah, now I'm free
320
00:26:42,369 --> 00:26:48,918
Oh, yeah
321
00:26:54,465 --> 00:26:57,635
Sentimental claptrap.
322
00:26:57,885 --> 00:26:59,970
What do you know of freedom?
323
00:27:00,679 --> 00:27:02,348
Freedom from the Romans.
324
00:27:02,556 --> 00:27:05,559
That's a joke. You are a Roman.
325
00:27:06,352 --> 00:27:08,187
No, I'm not, I'm a Jew.
326
00:27:08,395 --> 00:27:10,815
Your father was a Roman.
327
00:27:11,023 --> 00:27:12,775
What? Mr. Cohen?
328
00:27:12,983 --> 00:27:17,863
No, not Mr. Cohen.
That's your cousin's brother.
329
00:27:18,072 --> 00:27:19,949
Your real father was a Roman.
330
00:27:20,449 --> 00:27:21,450
Oh, no.
331
00:27:21,784 --> 00:27:24,078
Oh, woe, woe, woe.
332
00:27:24,286 --> 00:27:25,496
- Woe, woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
333
00:27:25,704 --> 00:27:26,997
- Woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
334
00:27:27,206 --> 00:27:28,707
Woe, woe, woe
335
00:27:28,916 --> 00:27:30,167
- Woe, woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
336
00:27:30,376 --> 00:27:31,502
- Woe, woe, woe
- Woe, woe, woe
337
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:33,462
Shut up!
338
00:27:36,382 --> 00:27:38,217
I am struck dumb.
339
00:27:38,801 --> 00:27:40,678
Dumb, dumb, dumb
340
00:27:40,886 --> 00:27:43,806
Doo waddy waddy dum
Dum, dum, dum, dum
341
00:27:44,014 --> 00:27:46,100
Doo waddy waddy dum
Dum, dum...
342
00:27:46,308 --> 00:27:48,185
Shut up!
343
00:27:49,562 --> 00:27:51,772
I am going to avenge you, Mother.
344
00:27:51,981 --> 00:27:54,650
Rome will rue the day
they invaded you.
345
00:27:54,859 --> 00:27:59,029
I shall seek out the enemies
of Rome and join them.
346
00:28:05,828 --> 00:28:07,663
The Romans are all bastards
347
00:28:07,872 --> 00:28:10,207
They have bled us till we're white
348
00:28:10,416 --> 00:28:14,628
They've taken everything we've got
As if it was their right
349
00:28:15,004 --> 00:28:16,964
And we've got nothing in return
350
00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:19,425
Though they make so much fuss
351
00:28:19,884 --> 00:28:23,929
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
352
00:28:24,555 --> 00:28:28,684
What have the Romans
What have the Romans
353
00:28:28,893 --> 00:28:33,022
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
354
00:28:33,814 --> 00:28:36,442
- The aqueduct.
- What?
355
00:28:37,067 --> 00:28:40,738
They gave us the aqueduct.
356
00:28:44,283 --> 00:28:46,410
Oh, yes, they did give us that
That's true
357
00:28:46,619 --> 00:28:49,038
- And sanitation
- Yes, that too
358
00:28:49,246 --> 00:28:54,418
The aqueduct, I'll grant is one
Thing the Romans may have done
359
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,296
And the roads, now they're all new
360
00:28:57,671 --> 00:29:00,257
And the great wines too
361
00:29:00,466 --> 00:29:03,427
Well, apart from
The wines and fermentation
362
00:29:03,636 --> 00:29:05,846
And the canals for navigation
363
00:29:06,055 --> 00:29:08,599
And public health for all the nation
364
00:29:08,808 --> 00:29:11,811
Apart from those, which are a plus
365
00:29:12,019 --> 00:29:14,939
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
366
00:29:15,272 --> 00:29:19,360
What have the Romans
What have the Romans
367
00:29:19,568 --> 00:29:23,447
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
368
00:29:24,323 --> 00:29:26,367
- The baths.
- What?
369
00:29:26,575 --> 00:29:27,701
The public baths.
370
00:29:28,035 --> 00:29:30,079
Oh, yes, Reg.
371
00:29:30,287 --> 00:29:32,790
The public baths are a great delight
372
00:29:32,998 --> 00:29:35,668
And it's safe to walk
In the streets at night
373
00:29:35,876 --> 00:29:37,253
- Cheese
- And medicine
374
00:29:37,461 --> 00:29:38,546
Irrigation
375
00:29:38,754 --> 00:29:41,132
- Roman law
- And education
376
00:29:41,340 --> 00:29:44,176
The circus for our delectation
377
00:29:44,385 --> 00:29:46,637
And the gladiation
378
00:29:47,179 --> 00:29:50,099
Well, apart from medicine, irrigation
379
00:29:50,307 --> 00:29:53,144
Health, roads, cheese and education
380
00:29:53,352 --> 00:29:56,313
Baths and the Circus Maximus
381
00:29:56,522 --> 00:29:59,483
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
382
00:29:59,859 --> 00:30:03,737
What have the Romans
What have the Romans
383
00:30:03,946 --> 00:30:07,783
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
384
00:30:08,451 --> 00:30:12,079
- Brought peace.
- Oh, shut up!
385
00:30:16,375 --> 00:30:20,504
Are you the Judean People's Front?
386
00:30:20,713 --> 00:30:25,092
What? Judean People's Front we're not
387
00:30:25,593 --> 00:30:29,263
Nor the Popular Front of Judea
388
00:30:29,472 --> 00:30:34,185
Nor the People's Popular Front
You silly bunt
389
00:30:34,435 --> 00:30:41,275
We're the People's Front of Judea
390
00:30:42,651 --> 00:30:50,034
Yes, we're the People's Front of Judea
391
00:30:51,076 --> 00:30:54,038
The Popular Front we're not
392
00:30:55,289 --> 00:30:58,959
Nor the People's Front, you clot
393
00:30:59,668 --> 00:31:06,884
For we're the People's Front of Judea
394
00:31:07,510 --> 00:31:08,511
Can I join you?
395
00:31:08,719 --> 00:31:12,014
Before you join us, Brian
396
00:31:12,223 --> 00:31:16,435
You should know
There's not a single man
397
00:31:16,644 --> 00:31:21,524
Who would not willingly suffer death
398
00:31:21,732 --> 00:31:25,986
To rid this country of the Romans
399
00:31:26,195 --> 00:31:29,740
- One.
- Okay, yes, there's just one.
400
00:31:30,032 --> 00:31:37,206
But we're the People's Front of Judea
401
00:31:38,749 --> 00:31:45,798
Yes, we're the People's Front of Judea
402
00:31:47,133 --> 00:31:50,803
The Popular Front we're not
403
00:31:51,429 --> 00:31:55,099
Nor the People's Front, you twat
404
00:31:55,683 --> 00:32:03,107
For we're the People's Front of Judea
405
00:32:04,984 --> 00:32:07,278
Hi, I'm Judith
406
00:32:07,486 --> 00:32:10,072
I'm from Judea
407
00:32:10,281 --> 00:32:11,282
I'm Brian.
408
00:32:11,490 --> 00:32:12,867
- I know.
- Okay.
409
00:32:13,075 --> 00:32:20,124
- I joined because I wanted to be freer
- You too?
410
00:32:21,709 --> 00:32:25,671
If there's anything I can do
411
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:29,133
I'll be happy to help you
412
00:32:29,341 --> 00:32:30,593
Oh, good.
413
00:32:30,801 --> 00:32:37,433
For we're the People's Front of Judea
414
00:32:40,895 --> 00:32:43,814
Right, Brian, you're in.
415
00:32:44,023 --> 00:32:46,317
Now, then, new motion.
416
00:32:46,525 --> 00:32:48,986
The People's Front of Judea...
417
00:32:49,195 --> 00:32:53,407
...firmly believes and states
irrevocably for all time...
418
00:32:53,616 --> 00:32:58,496
...that it is the inalienable rights
of every man...
419
00:32:58,704 --> 00:33:02,541
- Or woman.
- Or woman, to rid himself...
420
00:33:02,750 --> 00:33:03,834
Or herself.
421
00:33:04,752 --> 00:33:07,379
Or herself. Thank you, brother.
422
00:33:07,588 --> 00:33:10,591
- Or sister.
- Or sister.
423
00:33:11,217 --> 00:33:13,094
- Where was I?
- Birthright.
424
00:33:13,552 --> 00:33:17,932
Furthermore, it is the birthright
of every man...
425
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:20,017
- Or woman.
- Why don't you...
426
00:33:20,226 --> 00:33:22,478
...shut up about women, Stan?
427
00:33:22,686 --> 00:33:26,232
Women have a perfect right
to play a part in our movement, Reg.
428
00:33:26,774 --> 00:33:31,612
Why are you always
talking about women, Stan?
429
00:33:32,113 --> 00:33:33,948
I want to be one.
430
00:33:34,657 --> 00:33:35,658
What?
431
00:33:42,373 --> 00:33:45,209
I want to be a girl
432
00:33:45,417 --> 00:33:47,920
To make my dreams come true
433
00:33:48,129 --> 00:33:50,381
I want to see the world
434
00:33:50,589 --> 00:33:53,467
From a woman's point of view
435
00:33:54,009 --> 00:33:56,345
I want to wear high heels
436
00:33:56,554 --> 00:33:59,223
And put makeup on my face
437
00:33:59,765 --> 00:34:01,976
To wear a push-up bra
438
00:34:02,184 --> 00:34:05,062
And have panties made of lace
439
00:34:05,271 --> 00:34:08,441
- Good grief.
- I want to be a girl
440
00:34:08,649 --> 00:34:11,986
That's all I want to be
441
00:34:12,445 --> 00:34:15,072
I want to be a girl
442
00:34:15,823 --> 00:34:17,116
Dear me
443
00:34:19,243 --> 00:34:21,829
I want to be a girl
444
00:34:22,037 --> 00:34:24,540
Like every other lass
445
00:34:24,748 --> 00:34:27,168
To stress about my breast size
446
00:34:27,376 --> 00:34:30,254
And complain about my ass
447
00:34:30,463 --> 00:34:32,757
I want to shave my legs
448
00:34:33,299 --> 00:34:35,926
Instead of just my beard
449
00:34:36,135 --> 00:34:38,512
At the end of every month
450
00:34:38,721 --> 00:34:42,767
I want to be extremely weird
451
00:34:43,392 --> 00:34:46,353
I want to be his girl
452
00:34:46,562 --> 00:34:50,065
That's all I want to be
453
00:34:50,274 --> 00:34:53,277
You want to be the girl
454
00:34:53,486 --> 00:34:55,946
For me?
455
00:34:57,406 --> 00:34:59,909
I want to find a guy
456
00:35:00,117 --> 00:35:02,745
Who I can run to see
457
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,623
My fantasy who'll one day say
458
00:35:05,831 --> 00:35:08,459
"Stan, you're the man for me"
459
00:35:09,001 --> 00:35:11,295
I want to have a baby
460
00:35:11,670 --> 00:35:13,714
And feed it on fresh lox
461
00:35:14,757 --> 00:35:17,510
Where's the foetus to gestate?
462
00:35:17,718 --> 00:35:21,138
You're gonna keep it in a box?
463
00:35:21,847 --> 00:35:25,267
I want to be your girl
464
00:35:25,476 --> 00:35:28,938
A wife and mother too
465
00:35:29,730 --> 00:35:36,779
- I want to be a girl like you
- I want to be a girl like you
466
00:35:37,196 --> 00:35:40,366
I want a world that's new
467
00:35:40,574 --> 00:35:43,869
A world completely better
468
00:35:44,578 --> 00:35:50,000
From now on, please call me Loretta
469
00:35:58,426 --> 00:35:59,427
What the?
470
00:35:59,635 --> 00:36:03,347
Supposing we say he can't
have babies, not having a womb...
471
00:36:03,556 --> 00:36:05,766
...but he can have
the right to have babies.
472
00:36:07,518 --> 00:36:09,520
- Open up!
- Who is it?
473
00:36:10,062 --> 00:36:11,605
The Roman Empire.
474
00:36:12,064 --> 00:36:15,359
Quick, run for it.
Every man for himself.
475
00:36:19,029 --> 00:36:21,157
So young Brian fled
To the market square
476
00:36:24,326 --> 00:36:28,038
There were lots of preachers
Teaching there
477
00:36:28,706 --> 00:36:32,877
And a burning Bush shall come out
of a White House burning everything.
478
00:36:33,294 --> 00:36:35,880
A friend shall lose his friend's hammer.
479
00:36:36,422 --> 00:36:40,384
Blessed are the accountants,
for they shall file tax returns.
480
00:36:40,593 --> 00:36:43,554
There shall be monsters
481
00:36:43,971 --> 00:36:46,724
But over the rest of Judea,
there'll be showers...
482
00:36:46,932 --> 00:36:49,143
...with scattered outbreaks of plague.
483
00:36:49,435 --> 00:36:53,230
Here, is that Brian,
one of the revolutionaries?
484
00:36:53,647 --> 00:36:56,066
No, I think he's just a preacher.
485
00:36:58,569 --> 00:37:01,155
How blessed are the birds.
486
00:37:02,698 --> 00:37:03,908
What?
487
00:37:04,575 --> 00:37:07,912
How blessed are the birds.
488
00:37:08,329 --> 00:37:10,331
Are you the Messiah?
489
00:37:10,831 --> 00:37:13,501
- No.
- You are, aren't you?
490
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:15,544
- No. No, I'm not.
- You look like one.
491
00:37:16,378 --> 00:37:18,214
Well... Well, I'm not.
492
00:37:18,422 --> 00:37:19,423
Hail Messiah!
493
00:37:19,965 --> 00:37:22,426
- Hail Messiah!
- You are the Messiah.
494
00:37:22,635 --> 00:37:24,428
And I should know, I've followed a few.
495
00:37:26,972 --> 00:37:28,766
You're the one
496
00:37:30,476 --> 00:37:33,187
You're the one
497
00:37:33,395 --> 00:37:35,523
You're the one
498
00:37:35,731 --> 00:37:39,610
You've finally come along
499
00:37:39,819 --> 00:37:45,866
You're the one to show us
Right from wrong
500
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,953
You're the one
501
00:37:49,411 --> 00:37:52,373
You're the one
502
00:37:52,581 --> 00:37:58,295
You're the one I adore
503
00:37:58,963 --> 00:38:04,802
You're the one
That we've been waiting for
504
00:38:05,010 --> 00:38:10,683
To cure the meek and heal the poor
505
00:38:10,891 --> 00:38:14,311
You're the one
506
00:38:14,728 --> 00:38:17,690
You're the one
507
00:38:18,107 --> 00:38:24,363
- Like a rock in the dark
- Like a rock in the dark
508
00:38:24,572 --> 00:38:30,494
- Like a candle in the middle of a park
- Like a candle in the middle of a park
509
00:38:30,953 --> 00:38:32,413
- Like a cake
- Like a cake
510
00:38:32,621 --> 00:38:36,959
- That's been left out in the rain
- That's been left out in the rain
511
00:38:37,460 --> 00:38:43,799
- On a plain in Spain
- On a plain in Spain
512
00:38:44,008 --> 00:38:50,014
You're the one we're dreaming of
513
00:38:50,222 --> 00:38:56,061
You're the bright and shining
Light of love
514
00:38:56,604 --> 00:39:01,984
Like a torch from up above
515
00:39:02,193 --> 00:39:05,946
You're the one
516
00:39:06,155 --> 00:39:08,908
You're the one
517
00:39:09,366 --> 00:39:11,869
You're the one
518
00:39:12,495 --> 00:39:15,372
There's no doubt
519
00:39:15,581 --> 00:39:21,837
You're the one we cannot live without
520
00:39:22,046 --> 00:39:27,384
You're the living proof, let's shout
521
00:39:27,593 --> 00:39:30,554
You're the one
522
00:39:30,763 --> 00:39:33,641
You're the one
523
00:39:33,849 --> 00:39:36,894
You're the one
524
00:39:37,103 --> 00:39:41,440
You're the one
525
00:40:11,262 --> 00:40:13,973
You're the one
526
00:40:14,181 --> 00:40:17,184
There's no doubt
527
00:40:17,393 --> 00:40:23,441
You're the one we cannot live without
528
00:40:24,316 --> 00:40:29,572
You're the living proof, let's shout
529
00:40:30,114 --> 00:40:32,783
You're the one
530
00:40:33,492 --> 00:40:36,704
You're the one
531
00:40:36,912 --> 00:40:40,624
You're the one
532
00:40:40,833 --> 00:40:44,462
You're the one
533
00:40:45,004 --> 00:40:48,132
Help me, please. Please.
534
00:41:32,176 --> 00:41:34,011
The story so far:
535
00:41:34,220 --> 00:41:38,099
Brian, a good Jewish boy,
if you'll pardon the expression...
536
00:41:38,599 --> 00:41:41,560
...has discovered that his father
was a Roman.
537
00:41:41,769 --> 00:41:44,897
Shocked and torn,
he has joined the Republicans...
538
00:41:45,106 --> 00:41:49,235
...a group of power-hungry,
desperate people with no future.
539
00:41:50,569 --> 00:41:55,783
Hiding from the Romans, he is
mistaken by the mob for the Messiah...
540
00:41:56,117 --> 00:41:58,536
...and flees back to his place
with Judith...
541
00:41:58,744 --> 00:42:02,039
...for a cup of tea and a good cry.
542
00:42:03,082 --> 00:42:07,378
In his haste to escape the mob,
Brian, like Cinderella...
543
00:42:07,586 --> 00:42:09,713
...drops the shoe.
544
00:42:10,631 --> 00:42:13,843
Part Four: Baroque and Roll.
545
00:42:28,232 --> 00:42:31,819
The chosen one has disappeared
546
00:42:32,027 --> 00:42:35,489
He has been taken up
547
00:42:35,698 --> 00:42:40,202
See where he has dropped a shoe
548
00:42:40,411 --> 00:42:42,163
A shoe?
549
00:42:42,371 --> 00:42:45,750
That must be some kind of clue
550
00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:48,878
Behold his shoe
551
00:42:49,086 --> 00:42:51,922
- It is a sign from God
- It is a sign from God
552
00:42:52,131 --> 00:42:57,386
- Let us all now praise his shoe
- Let us all now praise his shoe
553
00:43:11,484 --> 00:43:14,612
- Hail to the shoe
- Hail to the shoe
554
00:43:15,154 --> 00:43:18,574
Let us all now praise his shoe
555
00:43:19,033 --> 00:43:21,035
Raise up the shoe
556
00:43:22,912 --> 00:43:25,623
This shoe will show us what to do
557
00:43:26,123 --> 00:43:28,167
I must take issue with this shoe
558
00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:30,169
A shoe can't tell us what to do
559
00:43:30,377 --> 00:43:35,800
But if you follow it, then you
Cannot be very far from him
560
00:43:36,008 --> 00:43:37,718
That's true
561
00:43:38,177 --> 00:43:39,887
We must take issue with this shoe
562
00:43:40,096 --> 00:43:41,764
A shoe can't tell us what to do
563
00:43:41,972 --> 00:43:47,728
But if you follow it, then you
Cannot be very far from him
564
00:43:48,020 --> 00:43:50,147
It's true
565
00:43:50,689 --> 00:43:54,610
This is the shoe
It's holy too
566
00:43:54,819 --> 00:43:58,364
See his little toes poke through
567
00:43:58,697 --> 00:44:01,909
Hail to the shoe
It's holy too
568
00:44:02,451 --> 00:44:05,830
See, his sole is shining through
569
00:44:06,038 --> 00:44:09,750
When he is walking down the street
If he's got one shoe on his feet
570
00:44:09,959 --> 00:44:11,877
Then we can very clearly spot
571
00:44:12,086 --> 00:44:15,297
Which one is him and which is not
572
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:19,635
Yes, when he's walking down the street
If he's got one shoe on his feet
573
00:44:19,844 --> 00:44:21,595
Then we can very clearly spot
574
00:44:21,804 --> 00:44:27,810
Which one is him and which is not
575
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:33,816
I don't believe in that shoe
576
00:44:34,567 --> 00:44:39,238
I think it's stupid, don't you?
577
00:44:42,241 --> 00:44:43,784
We think it's true
578
00:44:43,993 --> 00:44:45,828
Believe in the shoe
579
00:44:46,036 --> 00:44:49,749
Or else it will be death to you
580
00:44:50,332 --> 00:44:51,709
Kill him today
581
00:44:51,917 --> 00:44:53,836
Might as well anyway
582
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:57,214
Unbelievers all must pay
583
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,717
- For he must die
- Yes, he must die
584
00:44:59,925 --> 00:45:02,011
- Or we shall know
- The reason why
585
00:45:02,219 --> 00:45:04,054
- And he must pay
- Yes, he must pay
586
00:45:04,263 --> 00:45:09,852
With his life for his heresy today
587
00:45:10,102 --> 00:45:12,062
- For he must die
- Yes, he must die
588
00:45:12,271 --> 00:45:13,981
- Or we shall know
- The reason why
589
00:45:14,190 --> 00:45:15,900
- And he must pay
- Yes, he must pay
590
00:45:16,317 --> 00:45:22,448
With his life for his heresy today
591
00:45:23,115 --> 00:45:25,159
Hail to the shoe
592
00:45:25,367 --> 00:45:27,077
Death to those who
593
00:45:27,286 --> 00:45:28,913
Have different views
594
00:45:29,121 --> 00:45:31,290
Concerning his shoes
595
00:45:31,499 --> 00:45:33,459
- Hail to the shoe
- Hail to the shoe
596
00:45:33,667 --> 00:45:35,586
- Death to those who
- Death to those who
597
00:45:35,795 --> 00:45:37,713
- Have different views
- Have different views
598
00:45:37,922 --> 00:45:39,340
Concerning his shoes
599
00:45:39,799 --> 00:45:41,425
And while we kill him
600
00:45:41,759 --> 00:45:46,806
Let us all pray
601
00:45:47,014 --> 00:45:55,106
Hail to the shoe
602
00:46:02,238 --> 00:46:06,117
And lo, Brian did go home with Judith...
603
00:46:06,325 --> 00:46:09,787
...and they did lie down together
upon a mattress.
604
00:47:15,978 --> 00:47:18,022
That was wonderful.
605
00:47:18,230 --> 00:47:21,358
But enough opera.
Let's have some sex!
606
00:47:24,487 --> 00:47:26,238
Brian Cohen
607
00:47:28,073 --> 00:47:29,784
What the hell is going on?
608
00:47:30,659 --> 00:47:32,411
Oh, horror
609
00:47:32,828 --> 00:47:36,290
It's my mother
610
00:47:37,083 --> 00:47:40,711
Who the heck is this?
611
00:47:42,588 --> 00:47:45,883
Mumsy, this is Judith
612
00:47:46,842 --> 00:47:51,722
What the hell's she doing here?
613
00:47:52,765 --> 00:47:56,393
Discussing revolution
614
00:47:58,104 --> 00:48:02,191
In the dark?
615
00:48:03,442 --> 00:48:08,364
Open the window right now
616
00:48:08,572 --> 00:48:10,908
All right, Mummy
617
00:48:21,043 --> 00:48:22,211
Morning, saviour.
618
00:48:23,170 --> 00:48:26,841
Hooray, the chosen one has woken
619
00:48:27,967 --> 00:48:29,844
Good morning, saviour
620
00:48:30,302 --> 00:48:31,679
Hail Messiah
621
00:48:32,596 --> 00:48:36,559
Brian, what the hell is going on?
622
00:48:37,309 --> 00:48:41,063
Let me explain, Mrs. Cohen
623
00:48:41,647 --> 00:48:43,524
Put some clothes on first
624
00:48:44,859 --> 00:48:48,279
Who are all these people?
625
00:48:48,487 --> 00:48:50,948
They have just popped by
626
00:48:52,032 --> 00:48:55,703
Popped by?
More like swarmed by
627
00:48:55,911 --> 00:48:58,038
There's a multitude
628
00:48:59,290 --> 00:49:03,627
They think that I am the Messiah
629
00:49:04,211 --> 00:49:06,464
Hail Messiah
630
00:49:06,672 --> 00:49:08,299
Show us the Messiah
631
00:49:08,507 --> 00:49:11,010
He's not the Messiah
632
00:49:11,218 --> 00:49:14,805
He's a very naughty boy
633
00:49:15,014 --> 00:49:16,307
Who are you?
634
00:49:16,515 --> 00:49:19,977
I am his mother
635
00:49:20,394 --> 00:49:23,814
Hail to the mother of Brian
636
00:49:24,023 --> 00:49:28,444
Hail to Mandy, mother of Brian
637
00:49:28,903 --> 00:49:32,907
Are you a virgin?
638
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,661
How dare you?
639
00:49:39,038 --> 00:49:46,712
She must be
640
00:49:53,969 --> 00:49:56,806
It's so hard being a mother.
641
00:49:57,014 --> 00:49:59,850
He was such a lovely little boy.
642
00:50:01,352 --> 00:50:03,020
When did he grow up?
643
00:50:03,437 --> 00:50:05,481
Where did the time go?
644
00:50:05,689 --> 00:50:09,026
One day he's playing around
with his little dreidels...
645
00:50:09,235 --> 00:50:13,989
...and the next you find him in bed
with a naked tart.
646
00:50:14,198 --> 00:50:17,368
Oh, Brian.
Brian, what's to become of me?
647
00:50:17,576 --> 00:50:18,869
Don't worry, Mum.
648
00:50:19,161 --> 00:50:21,038
We'll come and visit.
649
00:50:21,288 --> 00:50:25,709
We will, Mrs. Cohen. Honest.
650
00:50:26,168 --> 00:50:29,880
It's all so sad
651
00:50:30,464 --> 00:50:35,469
When they grow up
652
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:41,308
When he was young
653
00:50:41,517 --> 00:50:43,853
Sweet as can be
654
00:50:44,270 --> 00:50:46,313
My little boy
655
00:50:46,522 --> 00:50:49,024
He said to me:
656
00:50:49,233 --> 00:50:51,902
"When I grow up
657
00:50:52,111 --> 00:50:54,196
I'll set you free
658
00:50:54,405 --> 00:50:59,785
And we will live so happily"
659
00:50:59,994 --> 00:51:02,288
I was just 10
660
00:51:02,496 --> 00:51:06,917
How could I know what I'd do then?
661
00:51:07,126 --> 00:51:09,086
How things would go?
662
00:51:09,754 --> 00:51:12,089
Finding some girl
663
00:51:12,298 --> 00:51:15,426
And then leaving me
664
00:51:15,634 --> 00:51:19,680
O misery
665
00:51:19,889 --> 00:51:23,768
When they grow up
666
00:51:23,976 --> 00:51:26,020
And as for me
667
00:51:26,228 --> 00:51:28,397
Now I have grown
668
00:51:28,606 --> 00:51:30,191
I have found out
669
00:51:30,399 --> 00:51:32,943
What I should have known
670
00:51:33,152 --> 00:51:37,198
Everyone reaps what they have sown
671
00:51:37,782 --> 00:51:39,950
I too have found
672
00:51:40,159 --> 00:51:43,829
Someone of my own
673
00:51:44,038 --> 00:51:47,792
When we grow up
674
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,960
As we must do
675
00:51:50,461 --> 00:51:55,132
And find that certain somebody who
676
00:51:55,674 --> 00:51:58,385
Makes us feel young
677
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,639
Makes us feel free
678
00:52:01,847 --> 00:52:05,476
Then we grow up
679
00:52:05,684 --> 00:52:10,648
And live happily
680
00:52:10,856 --> 00:52:12,983
And as for me
681
00:52:13,192 --> 00:52:15,319
Now I have grown
682
00:52:15,528 --> 00:52:17,279
And I have found
683
00:52:17,488 --> 00:52:19,907
What I should have known
684
00:52:20,324 --> 00:52:24,829
Everyone reaps
The seeds they have sown
685
00:52:25,037 --> 00:52:27,331
I too have found
686
00:52:27,540 --> 00:52:31,544
Someone of my own
687
00:52:31,877 --> 00:52:35,339
When we grow up
688
00:52:35,548 --> 00:52:37,716
As we must do
689
00:52:37,925 --> 00:52:42,638
And find that certain somebody who
690
00:52:43,055 --> 00:52:45,599
Makes me feel young
691
00:52:45,808 --> 00:52:49,645
Listens to me
692
00:52:49,895 --> 00:52:54,108
I've grown up, Mum
693
00:52:55,359 --> 00:53:01,866
Please set me free
694
00:53:11,625 --> 00:53:17,715
She makes me feel free
695
00:53:18,841 --> 00:53:28,476
Finally
696
00:53:59,298 --> 00:54:01,050
Who are you lot anyway?
697
00:54:01,258 --> 00:54:05,262
Let me tell you precisely who we are.
698
00:54:13,979 --> 00:54:16,148
Oh, we come from
The mountains and valleys
699
00:54:19,193 --> 00:54:23,405
We come from the armpits of Rome
700
00:54:23,948 --> 00:54:27,993
From the holes
Where the coals all lie buried
701
00:54:28,202 --> 00:54:32,540
To the mountain's shining dome
702
00:54:33,165 --> 00:54:37,545
We are poor working men
Who all need a
703
00:54:37,962 --> 00:54:42,049
New light in the darkness and gloam
704
00:54:42,591 --> 00:54:46,679
And we seek the promised leader
705
00:54:46,887 --> 00:54:51,809
Who will take us home
706
00:54:52,893 --> 00:54:56,647
Take us home
707
00:54:57,773 --> 00:55:01,944
Take us home
708
00:55:02,570 --> 00:55:06,282
And we seek the promised leader
709
00:55:06,866 --> 00:55:12,163
Who will take us home
710
00:55:12,455 --> 00:55:17,001
From the Red Sea to the Dead Sea
711
00:55:17,209 --> 00:55:21,756
To the golden streets of Rome
712
00:55:22,214 --> 00:55:26,844
From the deep dark holes
Where they dig out the coals
713
00:55:27,052 --> 00:55:31,307
To the builders up on the dome
714
00:55:31,891 --> 00:55:36,187
From the working man in his hovel
715
00:55:36,562 --> 00:55:40,858
To the fisherman lost on the foam
716
00:55:41,484 --> 00:55:45,488
We all seek the promised leader
717
00:55:45,696 --> 00:55:51,076
Who will take us home
718
00:55:52,078 --> 00:55:56,248
Take us home
719
00:55:57,166 --> 00:56:00,961
Take us home
720
00:56:01,295 --> 00:56:05,549
Oh, we seek the promised leader
721
00:56:05,758 --> 00:56:11,514
Who will take us home
722
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:16,769
Take us home
723
00:56:17,937 --> 00:56:22,274
Take us home
724
00:56:22,483 --> 00:56:26,862
Oh, we seek the promised leader
725
00:56:27,321 --> 00:56:33,244
Who will take us home
726
00:56:34,286 --> 00:56:39,333
Take us home
727
00:56:39,959 --> 00:56:43,629
Take us home
728
00:56:44,130 --> 00:56:49,009
Oh, we seek the promised leader
729
00:56:49,301 --> 00:56:59,437
Who will take us home
730
00:57:22,460 --> 00:57:25,463
All right, Brian, you can talk to them.
731
00:57:25,671 --> 00:57:27,298
But just for a minute.
732
00:57:30,009 --> 00:57:33,304
Now, listen, you have made a mistake
733
00:57:35,014 --> 00:57:38,684
I am not the Messiah
734
00:57:39,435 --> 00:57:41,187
But you look like one
735
00:57:42,563 --> 00:57:46,150
I am not the chosen one
736
00:57:46,358 --> 00:57:48,319
But we have chosen you
737
00:57:49,612 --> 00:57:56,160
Tell your people what we should do
738
00:57:56,786 --> 00:57:59,955
You should all piss off
739
00:58:01,707 --> 00:58:04,794
How shall we piss off, Lord?
740
00:58:06,378 --> 00:58:13,010
Don't follow people
You are all individuals
741
00:58:13,552 --> 00:58:17,681
That's right, we're all individuals
742
00:58:57,221 --> 00:58:58,973
I'm not.
743
00:59:21,328 --> 00:59:25,583
That's right, we're all individuals
744
00:59:26,083 --> 00:59:30,588
You must make up your own minds
For yourselves
745
00:59:30,796 --> 00:59:35,384
That's right, we must make up
Our own minds for ourselves
746
00:59:36,051 --> 00:59:41,599
Don't let anyone tell you what to do
747
00:59:41,807 --> 00:59:43,893
That's right, tell us more
748
00:59:44,101 --> 00:59:50,608
No, don't you see?
You've got to think for yourselves
749
00:59:50,900 --> 00:59:55,446
Yes, we have to think for ourselves
750
00:59:55,821 --> 01:00:02,453
Tell us what we have to
Think for ourselves
751
01:00:02,661 --> 01:00:09,835
No, nobody can tell you what to do
752
01:00:10,294 --> 01:00:14,882
Except you
753
01:00:15,091 --> 01:00:22,681
No, not even me
754
01:00:33,359 --> 01:00:36,987
Here, Brian, let me help
you out with this.
755
01:00:37,196 --> 01:00:39,990
They're just not getting this, okay?
756
01:00:40,866 --> 01:00:41,992
Better.
757
01:00:52,795 --> 01:00:55,714
Hey, listen, people, listen to me
758
01:00:56,173 --> 01:00:58,676
This is what he's trying to say
759
01:00:59,927 --> 01:01:03,347
Each of you must
Make up your own minds
760
01:01:03,556 --> 01:01:06,225
Have your different point of view
761
01:01:07,059 --> 01:01:10,521
Some people have
And some will have
762
01:01:10,938 --> 01:01:13,357
But time has got you by the balls
763
01:01:13,983 --> 01:01:17,486
But you must to your own selves
Be true
764
01:01:17,695 --> 01:01:20,948
For you're all individuals
765
01:01:36,088 --> 01:01:40,176
You don't know how bad
Your fate can get
766
01:01:42,011 --> 01:01:46,891
Then one day you find
You're played by Cate Blanchett
767
01:01:48,601 --> 01:01:52,396
So I'll take your hand
Make up your mind
768
01:01:52,730 --> 01:01:55,399
Choose a healthy point of view
769
01:01:55,733 --> 01:01:59,153
Don't follow leaders
Or parking meters
770
01:01:59,361 --> 01:02:02,281
They tell you all what you must do
771
01:02:02,573 --> 01:02:06,285
Well, some people preach you
Others will teach you
772
01:02:06,494 --> 01:02:08,954
They don't know what I can do
773
01:02:09,497 --> 01:02:13,084
You must to your own selves
Be true
774
01:02:13,417 --> 01:02:16,587
'Cause you're all individuals
775
01:02:36,816 --> 01:02:40,402
Yes, we'll do whatever you say
776
01:02:40,611 --> 01:02:43,572
Because we're...
777
01:03:14,186 --> 01:03:15,771
Brian!
778
01:03:16,355 --> 01:03:19,358
Judith. Oh, thank heaven, it's you!
779
01:03:19,567 --> 01:03:21,110
Yes, Brian, it is.
780
01:03:21,944 --> 01:03:23,988
So it was all a dream.
781
01:03:24,196 --> 01:03:28,033
No, Brian, this is the dream.
You're still asleep.
782
01:03:28,242 --> 01:03:32,329
Oh, no.
So, what's going to happen to me?
783
01:03:32,538 --> 01:03:35,958
Well, all you're doing
is advocating peace, right?
784
01:03:36,167 --> 01:03:38,711
- Right.
- Well, then they'll probably just kill you.
785
01:03:38,919 --> 01:03:42,465
- What?
- But your ideas will live on.
786
01:03:42,673 --> 01:03:44,258
Oh, great.
787
01:03:44,717 --> 01:03:46,927
Well, I must go now.
788
01:03:47,887 --> 01:03:48,888
Why?
789
01:03:49,096 --> 01:03:52,475
Because you're still asleep,
and you're getting one of those...
790
01:03:52,683 --> 01:03:53,684
Sorry.
791
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,312
When I was young
792
01:03:57,730 --> 01:04:01,567
I dreamed that life was always
Here to stay
793
01:04:02,735 --> 01:04:05,196
When I was young
794
01:04:05,905 --> 01:04:10,034
Tomorrow seemed so very far away
795
01:04:11,327 --> 01:04:13,621
Now I've grown
796
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:17,541
I've found that all my time has flown
797
01:04:18,084 --> 01:04:21,754
And one thing that I should have known
798
01:04:22,421 --> 01:04:24,465
Life is very short
799
01:04:27,176 --> 01:04:34,183
But there are always friends
800
01:04:35,351 --> 01:04:41,899
And there is always love to share
801
01:04:42,942 --> 01:04:46,403
So before
802
01:04:46,654 --> 01:04:50,741
Your journey ends
803
01:04:51,492 --> 01:04:58,165
Don't give in to despair
804
01:05:00,418 --> 01:05:02,586
Find your dream
805
01:05:03,212 --> 01:05:06,590
Before your dream can slip away
806
01:05:08,634 --> 01:05:10,761
Find your dream
807
01:05:11,262 --> 01:05:14,807
Tomorrow is another day
808
01:05:15,975 --> 01:05:21,772
You may not get a second chance
809
01:05:21,981 --> 01:05:24,108
For romance
810
01:05:24,316 --> 01:05:26,318
So before it's too late
811
01:05:26,819 --> 01:05:30,865
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
812
01:05:33,033 --> 01:05:35,786
- Find your dream
- Find your dream
813
01:05:35,995 --> 01:05:38,122
Life doesn't always
Turn out right for you
814
01:05:38,330 --> 01:05:40,750
Life can be so hard
815
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:43,794
- Find your dream
- Find your dream
816
01:05:44,003 --> 01:05:47,548
- In every single thing you try to do
- No guarantee
817
01:05:47,757 --> 01:05:50,134
You'll find your reward
818
01:05:50,342 --> 01:05:56,474
You can be blind
To what is really on your mind
819
01:05:57,141 --> 01:05:59,435
So before it's too late
820
01:05:59,643 --> 01:06:02,438
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
821
01:06:02,646 --> 01:06:04,648
Find your dream
822
01:07:10,506 --> 01:07:12,883
- Find your dream
- Find your dream
823
01:07:13,092 --> 01:07:18,097
- Before your dream can slip away
- Slip away
824
01:07:18,597 --> 01:07:21,350
- Find your dream
- Find your dream
825
01:07:21,559 --> 01:07:26,021
- Tomorrow is another day
- Another day
826
01:07:26,230 --> 01:07:31,944
You may not get a second chance
827
01:07:32,153 --> 01:07:33,904
For romance
828
01:07:34,405 --> 01:07:36,907
So before it's too late
829
01:07:37,116 --> 01:07:41,787
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
830
01:07:42,496 --> 01:07:44,749
So before it's too late
831
01:07:45,166 --> 01:07:48,502
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
832
01:07:48,711 --> 01:07:55,676
Find your dream
833
01:08:04,351 --> 01:08:07,021
Brian Cohen
834
01:08:07,396 --> 01:08:09,857
Brian Cohen
835
01:08:10,483 --> 01:08:16,155
I have come to take you away
836
01:08:17,156 --> 01:08:19,241
Who are you?
837
01:08:19,450 --> 01:08:22,620
Are you Death?
838
01:08:23,913 --> 01:08:29,335
No, I'm Biggus Dickus
839
01:08:30,086 --> 01:08:33,297
Hail Caesar
840
01:08:33,506 --> 01:08:36,092
Hail Caesar
841
01:08:53,109 --> 01:08:55,319
That's wight, Bwian.
842
01:08:57,029 --> 01:08:59,073
Bigguth Dickuth...
843
01:08:59,824 --> 01:09:01,200
...is my best fwend fwom Wome.
844
01:09:06,497 --> 01:09:09,333
Dethist, you wowdy wadicals.
845
01:09:09,625 --> 01:09:12,503
You are a webel, Bwian,
and a wapscallion and a Wepublican.
846
01:09:18,259 --> 01:09:19,301
Centurion...
847
01:09:21,971 --> 01:09:25,057
...why do they titter so?
848
01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:30,229
Just some Jewish joke, sir.
849
01:09:30,563 --> 01:09:32,815
Theath thith wibaldwy at onth.
850
01:09:33,023 --> 01:09:35,693
I won't be wattled
by a wabble of wowdy webels.
851
01:09:35,901 --> 01:09:39,029
Thith man wanks higher
than any in Wome.
852
01:09:42,241 --> 01:09:46,996
Awest this man
and thwow him woughly into a thell.
853
01:09:47,788 --> 01:09:50,040
Brian Cohen
854
01:09:50,458 --> 01:09:52,877
Brian Cohen
855
01:09:53,711 --> 01:09:58,841
You are under arrest
856
01:10:00,593 --> 01:10:02,720
Arrested and restrained
857
01:10:03,262 --> 01:10:06,098
Brian was captured and jailed
858
01:10:06,724 --> 01:10:10,770
It seems his plans had all now failed
859
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:14,231
Detained and chained and then
860
01:10:15,065 --> 01:10:17,818
He was throwned into a pen
861
01:10:18,778 --> 01:10:22,823
With a very silly man
Who was named Ben
862
01:10:23,491 --> 01:10:27,578
You lucky, lucky bastard.
863
01:10:35,669 --> 01:10:37,671
What are they going to do to me?
864
01:10:38,756 --> 01:10:41,425
Oh, you'll probably get away
with just crucifixion.
865
01:10:44,845 --> 01:10:46,388
Crucifixion?
866
01:10:46,597 --> 01:10:48,265
Yeah, first offence.
867
01:10:48,474 --> 01:10:50,893
"Get away with crucifixion"?
868
01:10:51,310 --> 01:10:54,605
Well, at least it gets you out
Into the open air
869
01:10:55,064 --> 01:10:58,192
Best thing the Romans ever did for us
870
01:10:58,400 --> 01:11:01,237
If we didn't have crucifixion
871
01:11:01,445 --> 01:11:05,449
This country would be
In a right bloody mess
872
01:11:06,325 --> 01:11:07,326
What?
873
01:11:08,077 --> 01:11:10,663
Nail 'em up, I say
Nail 'em up, I say
874
01:11:11,122 --> 01:11:13,624
Nail some sense into 'em
875
01:11:13,833 --> 01:11:16,085
Now, take my case
They hung me up
876
01:11:17,711 --> 01:11:19,630
For five long years of pain
877
01:11:19,839 --> 01:11:22,883
And every night, they take me down
878
01:11:23,092 --> 01:11:25,678
Then they hang me up again
879
01:11:26,137 --> 01:11:28,973
Which I regard as very, very fair
880
01:11:29,348 --> 01:11:32,059
In view of what I done
881
01:11:32,268 --> 01:11:37,982
If nothing else, it's taught me to
Respect the Romans, son
882
01:11:38,357 --> 01:11:41,277
It's taught me that in this old life
883
01:11:41,485 --> 01:11:44,029
There's only one right way
884
01:11:44,613 --> 01:11:50,327
You must do a fair day's work
For a fair day's pay
885
01:11:50,536 --> 01:11:53,664
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
886
01:11:54,081 --> 01:11:56,333
That is what
The lower middle classes say
887
01:11:56,542 --> 01:11:59,712
So do your duty every day
888
01:12:00,045 --> 01:12:02,506
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
889
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:05,968
Once I was a lad in the Hudson Bay
890
01:12:06,177 --> 01:12:09,138
I'd cut down trees every single day
891
01:12:09,388 --> 01:12:12,183
I'd sleep all night and work all day
892
01:12:12,641 --> 01:12:15,478
And walk away contented
With a fair day's pay
893
01:12:15,686 --> 01:12:18,439
He'd sleep all night and work all day
894
01:12:18,647 --> 01:12:21,484
And walk away contented
With a fair day's pay
895
01:12:21,734 --> 01:12:24,528
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
896
01:12:24,987 --> 01:12:27,698
That is what
The lower middle classes say
897
01:12:27,907 --> 01:12:31,035
So do your duty every day
898
01:12:31,243 --> 01:12:34,038
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
899
01:12:34,246 --> 01:12:37,458
Yes, I was a lumberjack, okay
900
01:12:37,708 --> 01:12:40,628
Going to the lavatory every day
901
01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:43,464
I'd work very hard
With me tiny little axe
902
01:12:43,672 --> 01:12:46,383
At night I'd visit naughty bars
To help relax
903
01:12:46,592 --> 01:12:49,553
He'd work very hard
With his tiny little axe
904
01:12:49,762 --> 01:12:52,515
And at night he'd visit naughty bars
To help relax
905
01:12:52,723 --> 01:12:55,768
I'd work away in a very butch way
906
01:12:56,143 --> 01:12:58,813
Chopping down tall trees every day
907
01:12:59,021 --> 01:13:01,816
I'd put on women's clothing
And go out at nights
908
01:13:02,024 --> 01:13:04,902
And go and seek the company
Of transvestites
909
01:13:05,111 --> 01:13:07,696
He'd put on women's clothing
And go out at nights
910
01:13:07,905 --> 01:13:11,492
And go and seek the company
Of transvestites?
911
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:16,330
That's enough of that, okay
912
01:13:16,622 --> 01:13:21,252
We don't give a duck
If you're completely gay
913
01:13:37,351 --> 01:13:39,520
- Brian.
- Mother.
914
01:13:39,812 --> 01:13:41,188
What are you doing here?
915
01:13:41,397 --> 01:13:43,274
What are you doing here?
916
01:13:44,316 --> 01:13:47,027
I'm going to be crucified.
917
01:13:48,821 --> 01:13:51,198
I've brought you
some clean underwear.
918
01:13:53,075 --> 01:13:56,120
- Judith!
- Hello, Brian. I've come to say goodbye.
919
01:13:56,412 --> 01:13:57,413
Goodbye?
920
01:13:57,663 --> 01:14:00,416
Well, yes, Brian,
you're going to be crucified.
921
01:14:00,624 --> 01:14:03,627
Oh, yes. Well, I suppose...
922
01:14:04,128 --> 01:14:05,838
...if this is goodbye...
923
01:14:06,046 --> 01:14:08,841
...then I must...
924
01:14:09,049 --> 01:14:10,634
What?
925
01:14:11,719 --> 01:14:13,304
I must...
926
01:14:14,430 --> 01:14:16,140
...sing.
927
01:14:17,349 --> 01:14:21,103
This is the final song
928
01:14:23,689 --> 01:14:27,985
I'll sing for you
929
01:14:28,486 --> 01:14:30,279
That's nice.
930
01:14:30,488 --> 01:14:35,910
There's nothing more
931
01:14:36,368 --> 01:14:41,707
That I can do
932
01:14:42,374 --> 01:14:47,546
One final song
933
01:14:48,506 --> 01:14:53,010
And then I'm gone
934
01:14:53,219 --> 01:15:00,017
So far away from you
935
01:15:01,393 --> 01:15:06,065
I will stay true
936
01:15:07,983 --> 01:15:12,363
Though we're apart
937
01:15:14,031 --> 01:15:18,411
But still my heart
938
01:15:18,702 --> 01:15:26,085
Will always be with you
939
01:15:27,086 --> 01:15:33,300
- Our final song
- Our final song
940
01:15:33,592 --> 01:15:39,557
- Will not take long
- Will not take long
941
01:15:40,099 --> 01:15:44,061
- And then we're gone
- And then we're gone
942
01:15:44,270 --> 01:15:53,070
- It's farewell to you
- It's farewell to you
943
01:15:54,613 --> 01:15:59,744
This is the final song
944
01:15:59,952 --> 01:16:06,417
I'll sing for you
945
01:16:08,377 --> 01:16:13,758
There's nothing more
946
01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:19,930
That I can do
947
01:16:21,474 --> 01:16:27,354
One final song
948
01:16:28,022 --> 01:16:32,610
And then we're done
949
01:16:33,152 --> 01:16:40,701
And I am leaving you
950
01:16:41,494 --> 01:16:45,247
This final day
951
01:16:45,456 --> 01:16:48,125
- This final day
- This final day
952
01:16:48,334 --> 01:16:51,420
When we can say
953
01:16:51,629 --> 01:16:54,590
- When we can say
- When we can say
954
01:16:54,840 --> 01:16:59,053
My life is done
955
01:16:59,261 --> 01:17:05,476
And we sing my song
956
01:17:06,060 --> 01:17:09,605
- It's our song too
- It's our song too
957
01:17:12,983 --> 01:17:15,736
Their final song
958
01:17:15,945 --> 01:17:22,326
- Their final song
- Their final song
959
01:17:22,535 --> 01:17:27,164
Let's hope it will
960
01:17:27,373 --> 01:17:34,797
Not take too long
961
01:17:35,881 --> 01:17:39,969
This is the final song
962
01:17:40,261 --> 01:17:47,143
I'll sing for you
963
01:17:47,351 --> 01:17:53,607
There's nothing more
964
01:17:53,816 --> 01:17:59,530
That I can do
965
01:17:59,739 --> 01:18:05,494
One final song
966
01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:10,541
And then we're done
967
01:18:10,750 --> 01:18:17,506
And I am leaving you
968
01:18:19,091 --> 01:18:23,095
When I'm away
969
01:18:23,304 --> 01:18:25,890
- When he's away
- When he's away
970
01:18:26,474 --> 01:18:29,560
I'll hope you'll play
971
01:18:30,019 --> 01:18:33,189
- We're sure to play
- We're sure to play
972
01:18:33,397 --> 01:18:38,319
- This final song
- This final song
973
01:18:38,819 --> 01:18:46,619
- It's all I'll have of you
- It's all I'll have of you
974
01:18:48,204 --> 01:18:54,543
This final day
975
01:18:55,127 --> 01:19:01,425
When I can say
976
01:19:01,801 --> 01:19:06,138
My life is done
977
01:19:06,347 --> 01:19:12,603
And we sing my song
978
01:19:12,978 --> 01:19:17,316
He sings so well
979
01:19:18,609 --> 01:19:21,278
Apart from this
980
01:19:21,695 --> 01:19:26,283
- Apart from this
- Apart from this
981
01:19:26,492 --> 01:19:38,212
There is no more
982
01:19:51,475 --> 01:19:53,811
- Crucifixion?
- Yes.
983
01:19:54,019 --> 01:19:57,523
Good. Out of the door.
Turn right. One cross each.
984
01:19:57,731 --> 01:19:58,941
Line on the left.
985
01:19:59,859 --> 01:20:01,485
Next.
986
01:20:01,736 --> 01:20:03,988
- Crucifixion?
- Yes.
987
01:20:05,197 --> 01:20:08,325
Out of the door. Turn right.
One cross each.
988
01:20:08,784 --> 01:20:10,745
Line on the left.
989
01:20:11,203 --> 01:20:12,997
Next.
990
01:20:13,539 --> 01:20:14,999
Crucifixion?
991
01:20:15,207 --> 01:20:17,376
No. Freedom for me.
992
01:20:24,175 --> 01:20:25,176
What?
993
01:20:25,384 --> 01:20:27,511
Freedom for me.
They said I hadn't done nothing...
994
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:30,723
...so I could go free
and live on an island somewhere.
995
01:20:32,933 --> 01:20:35,227
Oh, well, that's jolly good.
996
01:20:35,436 --> 01:20:38,606
Well, off you go, then.
997
01:20:38,856 --> 01:20:40,274
Nah, I'm just pulling your leg.
998
01:20:42,068 --> 01:20:44,570
It's crucifixion really.
999
01:20:47,073 --> 01:20:48,657
Yes. Yes, very good.
1000
01:20:48,866 --> 01:20:50,117
- Yeah.
- Very good. Very good.
1001
01:20:50,326 --> 01:20:51,744
You know the way, out the door.
1002
01:20:51,952 --> 01:20:54,205
- Out the door. Line on the left.
- One cross each.
1003
01:20:54,413 --> 01:20:56,957
- Yep. Yep.
- Yeah. Yeah. I've done it before.
1004
01:21:06,675 --> 01:21:07,718
Crucifixion?
1005
01:21:07,927 --> 01:21:11,013
Excuse me, but there's been
some sort of mistake.
1006
01:21:11,222 --> 01:21:12,890
Oh, well, we'll sort that out later.
1007
01:21:13,432 --> 01:21:14,892
Oh, that's a good one, eh?
1008
01:21:15,101 --> 01:21:18,354
"We'll sort it out later,
after you've been crucified."
1009
01:21:18,896 --> 01:21:21,899
- Typical bloody Romans, eh?
- Now you can shut up.
1010
01:21:22,191 --> 01:21:26,737
Or what? I'll have to give up
being crucified in the afternoons?
1011
01:21:27,530 --> 01:21:29,907
But I don't want to be crucified.
1012
01:21:30,491 --> 01:21:33,411
Oh, cheer up, Brian.
You know what they say.
1013
01:21:40,459 --> 01:21:43,003
Some things in life are bad
1014
01:21:43,212 --> 01:21:45,256
They can really make you sad
1015
01:21:46,966 --> 01:21:49,343
Other things just make you
Swear and curse
1016
01:21:49,802 --> 01:21:52,096
When you're chewing on life's gristle
1017
01:21:52,304 --> 01:21:54,807
Don't grumble, give a whistle
1018
01:21:55,182 --> 01:21:59,603
And this'll help things
Turn out for the best
1019
01:22:00,062 --> 01:22:02,273
And
1020
01:22:02,481 --> 01:22:06,944
Always look on the bright side of life
1021
01:22:08,237 --> 01:22:09,572
See?
1022
01:22:09,822 --> 01:22:13,951
Always look on the light side of life
1023
01:22:17,121 --> 01:22:18,748
If life seems jolly rotten
1024
01:22:18,956 --> 01:22:20,624
There's something you've forgotten
1025
01:22:20,833 --> 01:22:24,128
And that's to laugh and smile
And dance and sing
1026
01:22:24,336 --> 01:22:26,297
If you're feeling in the dumps
1027
01:22:26,505 --> 01:22:27,965
Don't be silly, chumps
1028
01:22:28,174 --> 01:22:31,135
Just purse your lips and whistle
That's the thing
1029
01:22:31,343 --> 01:22:36,140
And always look on
The bright side of life
1030
01:22:36,348 --> 01:22:38,017
Very good.
1031
01:22:39,769 --> 01:22:43,814
Always look on the light side of life
1032
01:22:47,151 --> 01:22:48,694
For life is quite absurd
1033
01:22:48,903 --> 01:22:50,529
And death's the final word
1034
01:22:50,738 --> 01:22:54,200
You must always face the curtain
With a bow
1035
01:22:54,784 --> 01:22:56,035
Forget about your sin
1036
01:22:56,243 --> 01:22:58,245
Give the audience a grin
1037
01:22:58,454 --> 01:23:00,998
Enjoy it
It's your last chance anyhow
1038
01:23:01,207 --> 01:23:06,337
So always look on
The bright side of death
1039
01:23:09,715 --> 01:23:14,053
Just before you draw
Your terminal breath
1040
01:23:17,348 --> 01:23:19,016
Life's a piece of shit
1041
01:23:19,225 --> 01:23:20,810
When you look at it
1042
01:23:21,018 --> 01:23:24,230
Life's a laugh and death's a joke
It's true
1043
01:23:24,730 --> 01:23:26,190
You'll see it's all a show
1044
01:23:26,399 --> 01:23:28,025
Keep 'em laughing as you go
1045
01:23:28,234 --> 01:23:31,195
Just remember
The last laugh is on you
1046
01:23:31,404 --> 01:23:36,659
And always look on
The bright side of life
1047
01:23:39,912 --> 01:23:44,208
Always look on the bright side of life
1048
01:23:46,377 --> 01:23:47,378
Key change.
1049
01:23:47,586 --> 01:23:51,757
Always look on the bright side of life
1050
01:23:54,927 --> 01:23:59,557
Always look on the bright side of life
1051
01:24:02,768 --> 01:24:07,064
Always look on the bright side of life
1052
01:24:10,109 --> 01:24:13,904
Always look on the bright side of life
1053
01:24:17,616 --> 01:24:22,288
Always look on the bright side of life
1054
01:24:25,541 --> 01:24:29,920
Always look on the bright side of life
1055
01:24:32,423 --> 01:24:37,595
And always look on
The bright side
1056
01:24:37,803 --> 01:24:42,433
Of life
1057
01:24:59,784 --> 01:25:00,826
Thank you.
1058
01:25:10,419 --> 01:25:11,420
Thank you.
1059
01:25:26,852 --> 01:25:28,646
Oh, dear.
1060
01:25:30,689 --> 01:25:32,983
I never wanted to be a Roman...
1061
01:25:34,735 --> 01:25:38,572
...wepressing wadicals wigorously on
a wegular basis for the west of my life.
1062
01:25:40,032 --> 01:25:42,827
I didn't want to attend
a 40th-anniversary concert...
1063
01:25:43,035 --> 01:25:46,747
...at the Royal Albert Hall.
No, no, no. No.
1064
01:25:47,581 --> 01:25:48,999
I wanted to be...
1065
01:25:53,003 --> 01:25:54,505
...a lumberjack!
1066
01:26:03,347 --> 01:26:04,640
Leaping from tree to tree...
1067
01:26:04,849 --> 01:26:07,601
...as they float down
the mighty rivers of British Columbia.
1068
01:26:07,810 --> 01:26:08,894
The giant redwood.
1069
01:26:09,520 --> 01:26:11,272
The larch. The fir.
1070
01:26:11,480 --> 01:26:13,357
The mighty Scots pine.
1071
01:26:13,983 --> 01:26:15,943
The lofty flowering cherry.
1072
01:26:16,485 --> 01:26:18,529
The plucky little aspen.
1073
01:26:19,155 --> 01:26:21,866
The limping Nigerian rude tree.
1074
01:26:22,074 --> 01:26:24,493
The great wattle of Aldershot.
1075
01:26:25,536 --> 01:26:27,997
The Maidenhead weeping water plant.
1076
01:26:28,914 --> 01:26:31,792
The naughty flashing oak
of Leicestershire.
1077
01:26:32,334 --> 01:26:35,546
The flatulent elm of West Ruislip.
1078
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:40,009
The Quercus Maximus
Bambergascoignus.
1079
01:26:40,468 --> 01:26:43,220
With my best girl by my side!
1080
01:26:49,185 --> 01:26:53,230
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!
1081
01:26:53,564 --> 01:26:56,734
Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay
1082
01:26:56,984 --> 01:26:59,361
I sleep all night and I work all day
1083
01:26:59,779 --> 01:27:02,073
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
1084
01:27:02,281 --> 01:27:04,658
He sleeps all night
And he works all day
1085
01:27:04,867 --> 01:27:07,036
I cut down trees
I eat my lunch
1086
01:27:07,244 --> 01:27:09,371
I go to the lavatory
1087
01:27:09,663 --> 01:27:11,874
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
1088
01:27:12,083 --> 01:27:14,585
And have buttered scones for tea
1089
01:27:15,461 --> 01:27:17,588
He cuts down trees
He eats his lunch
1090
01:27:17,797 --> 01:27:20,216
He goes to the lavatory
1091
01:27:20,424 --> 01:27:22,593
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
1092
01:27:22,802 --> 01:27:25,930
And has buttered scones for tea
1093
01:27:26,138 --> 01:27:28,349
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
1094
01:27:28,557 --> 01:27:31,018
He sleeps all night
And he works all day
1095
01:27:31,227 --> 01:27:33,646
I cut down trees
I skip and jump
1096
01:27:33,854 --> 01:27:36,107
I like to press wildflowers
1097
01:27:36,357 --> 01:27:38,859
I put on women's clothing
1098
01:27:39,068 --> 01:27:41,779
And hang around in bars
1099
01:27:42,321 --> 01:27:44,740
He cuts down trees
He skips and jumps
1100
01:27:44,949 --> 01:27:46,992
He likes to press wildflowers
1101
01:27:47,201 --> 01:27:49,787
He puts on women's clothing
1102
01:27:49,995 --> 01:27:53,082
And hangs around in bars?
1103
01:27:53,707 --> 01:27:56,127
- He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
- And I'm okay
1104
01:27:56,335 --> 01:27:58,796
- He sleeps all night and he works all day
- I sleep all night and I work all day
1105
01:27:59,004 --> 01:28:00,131
I cut down trees
1106
01:28:00,339 --> 01:28:04,218
I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
1107
01:28:04,427 --> 01:28:06,595
I wish I'd been a girlie
1108
01:28:06,804 --> 01:28:09,640
Just like my dear papa
1109
01:28:09,849 --> 01:28:10,891
- Hey!
- He cuts down trees
1110
01:28:11,100 --> 01:28:15,312
He wears high heels
Suspenders and a bra?!
1111
01:28:21,861 --> 01:28:24,321
- He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
- I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay
1112
01:28:24,530 --> 01:28:27,324
- He sleeps all night and he works all day
- I sleep all night and I work all day
1113
01:28:27,533 --> 01:28:34,582
He's a lumberjack and he's okay
1114
01:28:34,790 --> 01:28:39,670
Oh, Bevis,
I thought you were so rugged!
1115
01:28:40,629 --> 01:28:42,673
He sleeps all night
And he works all day
77146
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