Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,195 --> 00:00:06,164
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:06,255 --> 00:00:10,077
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
M_I_SForEver
3
00:00:57,315 --> 00:00:58,383
[gun fires]
4
00:01:01,721 --> 00:01:04,322
[Todd] Mayor McHenry
currently faces 12 counts
5
00:01:04,423 --> 00:01:07,192
of corruption for his alleged
embezzlement of county funds
6
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,797
and could face a maximum
of 12 years in state prison.
7
00:01:11,296 --> 00:01:13,231
[host] I guess now we know
who to blame for all those
8
00:01:13,331 --> 00:01:15,935
- unfilled potholes around town.
- [man laughing]
9
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:18,705
[Todd] Well, maybe they'll fill up
with snowflakes tonight, right, Stan?
10
00:01:18,805 --> 00:01:21,206
[Stan laughs]
That's right, Todd.
11
00:01:21,306 --> 00:01:23,475
An Alberta clipper system,
a fast moving area
12
00:01:23,575 --> 00:01:26,311
of low pressure is dragging
a cold front our way,
13
00:01:26,411 --> 00:01:28,480
- it's drawing moisture up from the south.
- [woman breathes heavy]
14
00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:30,650
We're expecting between
three and six inches
15
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,819
worth of heavy, wet snow
16
00:01:32,919 --> 00:01:34,987
by the time you wake up
for Christmas morning.
17
00:01:35,088 --> 00:01:36,723
[woman having an orgasm]
18
00:01:36,823 --> 00:01:37,824
[gun fires]
19
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,295
[Sophia]
Christmas is... a happy time.
20
00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:47,800
Yep, a real happy time.
21
00:01:49,635 --> 00:01:51,436
I'm just saying,
Christmas ain't like it is
22
00:01:51,536 --> 00:01:53,371
in those feel good movies.
23
00:01:53,472 --> 00:01:55,307
Sometimes it could
be like, like...
24
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,275
[Santa]
Ho, ho, ho.
25
00:01:57,375 --> 00:01:58,745
[Sophia]
Like a cosmic kick in the dick.
26
00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:00,813
[Christmas music]
27
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,949
When I was 11,
the local county judge
28
00:02:03,049 --> 00:02:04,416
had a pretty shitty Christmas.
29
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:07,619
It was all over the news.
30
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,789
The judge comes home
late on Christmas Eve
31
00:02:09,889 --> 00:02:12,759
and there was a hit man
waiting for him in the kitchen.
32
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:14,694
[gun fires]
33
00:02:15,527 --> 00:02:18,430
Could have been worse,
I mean, he lived.
34
00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:21,466
That kind of stuff happens all
the time in East Jesus, Ohio.
35
00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:24,302
We're just a scoot south
of bumblefuck Michigan
36
00:02:24,402 --> 00:02:25,872
on the border of Pensyltucky.
37
00:02:25,972 --> 00:02:28,507
Right square in a county
called trouble.
38
00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:32,044
Some pretty messed up
shit goes on here,
39
00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:35,547
on a daily, like, for reals.
40
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,886
[upbeat country music]
41
00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,894
[bell chimes]
42
00:03:03,408 --> 00:03:06,311
[vomiting]
43
00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:07,512
For real?
44
00:03:07,612 --> 00:03:08,748
[girl wretches]
45
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,388
Sorry.
46
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:24,630
[sighs]
47
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,576
[upbeat music]
48
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,500
That'll be all?
49
00:04:09,842 --> 00:04:11,010
It'll be $10.99.
50
00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:26,659
Would you like a bag with that?
51
00:04:30,096 --> 00:04:31,097
Do you have a bathroom?
52
00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:51,884
[Sophia]
Dear God...
53
00:04:52,818 --> 00:04:55,888
I know I don't
pray much ever, at all,
54
00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:58,190
but if you really do exist,
55
00:04:58,991 --> 00:05:02,427
if you really
are this all powerful,
56
00:05:02,527 --> 00:05:04,163
all knowing being,
57
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:07,800
then please, just this once...
58
00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:09,735
help me.
59
00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:11,070
- [urinating]
- Please, please,
60
00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:13,538
please, please, please, please.
61
00:05:13,639 --> 00:05:16,943
[upbeat music playing]
62
00:05:19,544 --> 00:05:21,513
Please, please...
63
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,649
[sobs] please.
64
00:05:27,585 --> 00:05:29,088
[crying]
65
00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:35,828
Oh. [sobs]
66
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:38,931
[breathes deeply]
67
00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:41,599
[urinating]
68
00:05:50,076 --> 00:05:51,010
[passing gas]
69
00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,245
[flushes toilet]
70
00:05:59,617 --> 00:06:00,585
[text message alerts]
71
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,793
Sophia!
72
00:06:08,728 --> 00:06:13,065
Me-a Sophia, you stole my heart
73
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:16,635
and then I sharded.
74
00:06:16,736 --> 00:06:18,671
- Sophia!
- Oh, my God.
75
00:06:19,105 --> 00:06:20,006
What's you doing?
76
00:06:20,873 --> 00:06:22,574
Walking, what does it look like?
77
00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,243
It looks like
you could use a lift.
78
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,644
You could use a car.
79
00:06:26,045 --> 00:06:28,247
Well, I got
my driver's permit last week
80
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:29,882
and I've been
delivering papers, so...
81
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,885
my uncle's Sunfire
will be mine in no time.
82
00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:34,153
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
83
00:06:35,121 --> 00:06:38,791
By then I bet you could use
a ride but I might be too busy.
84
00:06:38,891 --> 00:06:40,826
- I thought you were in love with me?
- [chuckles]
85
00:06:40,926 --> 00:06:42,594
Now you're going to be too busy.
86
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:45,297
I was in love in you,
that was last year.
87
00:06:45,398 --> 00:06:47,933
Plus, I heard you're
with Trey Davis now.
88
00:06:48,034 --> 00:06:49,969
We broke up. Kind of.
89
00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:53,239
- I figured.
- What's that suppose to mean?
90
00:06:53,739 --> 00:06:57,109
Well, when I was coming here,
I passed Madison Fatchek's house
91
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,912
and as soon as her dad
leaves, I see him walk in.
92
00:07:00,346 --> 00:07:01,781
Fatchick, Fatchek?
93
00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:03,215
She's not so fat anymore.
94
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,218
I heard she got
her stomach stapled.
95
00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,288
Jimmy Stam says that
she's anorexic.
96
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:10,990
She's probably bulimic.
97
00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,893
Those titties, still fat though.
98
00:07:14,794 --> 00:07:16,829
[blubbers]
99
00:07:16,929 --> 00:07:18,631
You're so gross!
100
00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:19,965
Just saying.
101
00:07:20,066 --> 00:07:21,566
Isn't her dad a cop?
102
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:24,203
He's a detective and Jimmy Stam
103
00:07:24,303 --> 00:07:26,806
told me that she helps
her cousin sell weed
104
00:07:26,906 --> 00:07:28,274
and he doesn't detect shit.
105
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,209
That must be where Trey's
been getting faded.
106
00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:31,143
[text message alerts]
107
00:07:32,144 --> 00:07:33,312
He's probably getting
more than just weed.
108
00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:37,149
- Stop.
- What?
109
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:38,583
Your shoe's untied.
110
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,287
The stupid thing
keeps coming undone.
111
00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:45,991
You should double knot it.
112
00:07:46,092 --> 00:07:47,093
You should hold on.
113
00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:52,198
[upbeat country music]
114
00:08:01,307 --> 00:08:05,044
? It was the night before
Christmas Day ?
115
00:08:05,744 --> 00:08:09,882
? And all the elves was busy
loading up the sleigh ?
116
00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:13,352
? Jolly Santa was like
getting his kicks ?
117
00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:17,823
? And some old reindeer
was out learning new tricks ?
118
00:08:18,224 --> 00:08:21,694
? But one of the elves said
"Man, we got to go ?
119
00:08:22,728 --> 00:08:26,632
? We're way behind
and it's beginning to snow" ?
120
00:08:27,032 --> 00:08:30,836
? Just in Rudolph
with the bloody nose ?
121
00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:35,141
? Arrives Santa with his sleigh
and whiskey on his clothes ?
122
00:08:35,241 --> 00:08:39,211
? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ?
123
00:08:40,713 --> 00:08:43,215
? Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ?
124
00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:48,154
? As jolly jingle bells
was ringing ?
125
00:08:48,254 --> 00:08:52,224
? All them little children
they was singing ?
126
00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,099
- Hi, Sophia.
- Hi, Sophia.
127
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,744
So when does
your stepdad go to work?
128
00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:13,879
- He got fired.
- Again?
129
00:09:13,979 --> 00:09:15,214
I know. Right?
130
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:19,685
What are you doing tonight?
131
00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:23,055
- I don't know.
- My parents are going to the casino
132
00:09:23,155 --> 00:09:24,757
and I know where
they keep their booze
133
00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:27,426
if you want to go back to
my place and Netflix and chill.
134
00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:30,462
- I can't.
- Yeah, right, whatever.
135
00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:32,331
Noah.
136
00:09:33,399 --> 00:09:34,266
Noah!
137
00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:42,274
[Theresa] Why don't you
cook dinner for once?
138
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,442
[Rayjon]
Because I don't want to.
139
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,077
Why don't you
get off my nutsack?
140
00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:46,412
[Theresa]
You are such a prick.
141
00:09:47,647 --> 00:09:49,782
- You want me to turn off the power again?
- Woman, please.
142
00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:51,984
How many times we have to
go through this, Rayjon?
143
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:55,387
We need to save money, get that
through your freaking skull.
144
00:09:55,487 --> 00:09:57,790
Yeah, and how much that outfit
cost at Penny's yesterday?
145
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,358
- I got that for work.
- Sure you did.
146
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:01,260
You really think it cost
more than those golf clubs
147
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,728
you got out in the garage?
148
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,997
Again with the golf clubs.
149
00:10:05,097 --> 00:10:07,299
What'd you think, you were
Tiger Woods or something?
150
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,735
You're going to sell those
things tomorrow, you hear me?
151
00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:10,736
No, I ain't.
152
00:10:10,836 --> 00:10:12,171
If you don't then I will.
153
00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:14,006
Go to work, Theresa.
154
00:10:14,106 --> 00:10:16,275
At least I got a job,
you freaking deadbeat.
155
00:10:16,809 --> 00:10:17,943
[sighs]
156
00:10:18,544 --> 00:10:20,379
- [mumbles]
- What did you say?
157
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:26,151
Eat... a... dick.
158
00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,386
[can opens]
159
00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:29,255
That's got
a good beat to it, right?
160
00:10:29,355 --> 00:10:31,423
Real mature,
say it a little louder
161
00:10:31,523 --> 00:10:32,358
so the kids can hear you.
162
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:37,963
Eat a dick, eat a dick,
take a big old bite,
163
00:10:38,063 --> 00:10:39,164
or a little lick.
164
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,133
I should record that
right there.
165
00:10:44,036 --> 00:10:47,306
[slow music]
166
00:10:49,408 --> 00:10:50,943
[Sophia]
We've all had a shitty Christmas
167
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:53,078
at one time or another, right?
168
00:10:53,512 --> 00:10:56,949
[hip hop music]
169
00:11:01,086 --> 00:11:03,422
Like, when I was four years old
170
00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:07,793
my dumbass daddy robbed
a Quick Mart twice.
171
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:11,797
Ask my mom about that Christmas,
and all she'll say
172
00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:14,566
is, "He didn't get me
nothing that year."
173
00:11:14,668 --> 00:11:16,468
Why are you bitching at me?
174
00:11:16,568 --> 00:11:19,471
Because you didn't get me
nothing for Christmas this year,
175
00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:21,006
you cheap son of a bitch.
176
00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:25,544
- Wait, what time is it?
- It's 11:53.
177
00:11:25,645 --> 00:11:28,347
Well, it ain't
Christmas morning yet.
178
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,017
[Theresa]
Where you going?
179
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,819
[dad]
The night is young, Theresa.
180
00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,321
[Theresa]
The night is not young,
181
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,056
it's Christmas freaking Eve.
182
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:40,092
You can't get nothing now,
every where's closed.
183
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,361
[dad]
We'll see about that.
184
00:11:42,461 --> 00:11:43,862
[car door opens]
185
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:47,866
[car door closes]
186
00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:54,306
- Nefantarter, holy shit, is that you?
- Yeah.
187
00:11:54,406 --> 00:11:57,209
[man] You look good, man,
like you've been lifting.
188
00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:59,078
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
189
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:02,348
You need anything, man,
I got ups and downs,
190
00:12:02,448 --> 00:12:05,984
- and loopty-loos.
- No, thanks, man.
191
00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:08,120
I told you I'm good.
192
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:11,190
Been clean for two years.
You ain't noticed?
193
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:15,127
Two... two years, it's been
that long, holy shit, man,
194
00:12:15,227 --> 00:12:20,165
I remember when you were
everyday, twice a day. [laughs]
195
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,067
Yeah, not anymore.
196
00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:25,504
Hey, hey, didn't you
go to jail or some shit
197
00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:27,106
for leaving your kid in the car
198
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:30,042
while you were getting
a handy at the Rub & Tug?
199
00:12:30,142 --> 00:12:31,243
[laughs]
200
00:12:31,343 --> 00:12:33,879
Yeah, I was all doped out
201
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,881
on that crystal blue
shit back then.
202
00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:39,418
[man]
Oh, yeah, crystal blue.
203
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:42,020
I got that
crystal blue shit, man.
204
00:12:42,121 --> 00:12:43,956
[laughs]
205
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:45,290
[dad]
Not anymore.
206
00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:49,294
[whistles]
207
00:12:56,034 --> 00:13:00,439
I know what you like, mama,
you like that white chocolate.
208
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,109
[whistling]
209
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,280
- $1.87.
- $1.87?
210
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:12,084
- Yes.
- Uh, that's a bit steep, ain't it?
211
00:13:12,184 --> 00:13:16,188
- Tax.
- [dad] Yeah, yeah, tax my ass.
212
00:13:16,723 --> 00:13:19,391
Shit, I forgot my wallet.
213
00:13:21,994 --> 00:13:24,430
I'll tell you what, you pay me.
214
00:13:25,297 --> 00:13:27,634
- What?
- You pay me.
215
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,935
Come on, open the register.
216
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:36,275
- [grunts]
- Open the register.
217
00:13:39,211 --> 00:13:42,581
Next time you should, uh,
catch it with your hands, not your face.
218
00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:45,951
Come on, come on,
underneath too.
219
00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:49,955
Holy Christmas tits!
220
00:13:50,055 --> 00:13:51,290
Is this for me?
221
00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,325
- [cocking shotgun]
- Be a good little elf
222
00:13:53,425 --> 00:13:55,127
and put it all in Santa's sack.
223
00:13:56,094 --> 00:13:57,129
Uh-uh.
224
00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:03,001
Hey, uh, sorry about your eye.
225
00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:03,736
[gun fires]
226
00:14:07,707 --> 00:14:11,109
[whistles]
227
00:14:12,177 --> 00:14:15,380
[hip hop music]
228
00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,015
[Sophia]
My daddy took all that money,
229
00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:19,117
and put it straight in his arm.
230
00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:22,387
[dad]
Oh, shit.
231
00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:26,693
[police sirens blare]
232
00:14:33,766 --> 00:14:36,502
Ah. I forgot the goddamn candy.
233
00:14:39,772 --> 00:14:40,773
[gun fires]
234
00:14:41,774 --> 00:14:43,575
And I tell him, don't
you ever come back here,
235
00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:46,044
or I'll kick your
shitty little ass, punk.
236
00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:48,547
[laughs]
237
00:14:50,817 --> 00:14:54,353
[dad] I forgot my candy
bar, but since I'm here,
238
00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:58,524
why don't you do me a favor
and give me your wallet?
239
00:14:58,624 --> 00:15:01,426
Please, sir, you've
already robbed us once.
240
00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:05,330
[dad]
No, I already robbed him.
241
00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:11,738
- [grunts]
- Damn.
242
00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:14,273
I'm sorry,
none of you guys can catch,
243
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:16,441
- that's too bad.
- [gun fires]
244
00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:22,447
[laughs]
Merry Christmas, fellas.
245
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,149
[gun firing]
246
00:15:24,249 --> 00:15:25,217
[glass shattering]
247
00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:26,653
[gun firing]
248
00:15:29,421 --> 00:15:32,324
[whistles]
249
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:38,765
[police sirens blare]
250
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:47,139
[dad]
Oh, oh, there it is, oh, oh.
251
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,610
[police sirens blare]
252
00:15:54,681 --> 00:15:56,849
[Theresa]
You cheap son of a bitch.
253
00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:57,817
[dad]
Theresa.
254
00:15:58,685 --> 00:15:59,418
[Theresa]
You didn't get me nothing
255
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:00,653
for Christmas this year.
256
00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:02,120
[dad]
Uh, that's not true.
257
00:16:03,522 --> 00:16:06,291
I, I got you
your favorite candy bar.
258
00:16:08,628 --> 00:16:10,730
[animal]
Eat it, Daddy.
259
00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:15,802
[hip hop music]
260
00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:26,679
[kid]
I want candy.
261
00:16:31,216 --> 00:16:32,819
[dad]
Oh. Oh!
262
00:16:32,919 --> 00:16:35,554
- What kind are you going to get?
- Peanut butter.
263
00:16:36,388 --> 00:16:37,489
I'm going to get caramel.
264
00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:39,458
You should try
the white chocolate.
265
00:16:39,558 --> 00:16:42,327
Mm. It's delicious.
266
00:16:43,528 --> 00:16:44,697
[gun fires]
267
00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:46,633
[girl screams]
268
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:52,672
[Sophia]
My mom still pretends he OD'd,
269
00:16:53,372 --> 00:16:55,574
but I'm too old
for Santa Clause and fairytales.
270
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,677
? I got big rocks in my pocket ?
271
00:16:57,777 --> 00:16:59,344
? And I love girls to stop it ?
272
00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:00,813
? Anybody want that smoke ?
273
00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,547
? Then I'll show
my pocket rockets ?
274
00:17:02,649 --> 00:17:03,750
? Hit the road ?
275
00:17:09,621 --> 00:17:11,924
[boy] All you all fools going to
get wasted when I get all this shit.
276
00:17:12,624 --> 00:17:14,727
[boy 2]
He sounds like a nuub.
277
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:15,762
What'd you say?
278
00:17:16,228 --> 00:17:18,463
Yeah, total nuub.
279
00:17:18,931 --> 00:17:21,299
Oh, who you calling nuub?
280
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,235
I'll smoke all you all fools.
281
00:17:23,636 --> 00:17:25,570
Okay, nuub, whatever you say.
282
00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:29,776
Oh, he's dead, get him, get him.
283
00:17:29,876 --> 00:17:30,810
Man, shut up.
284
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:35,180
- He sucks.
- You all think you all are bad?
285
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,916
I ought to kick both of
your asses when I see you all.
286
00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,316
You best believe that.
287
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:39,819
[man] Come on, boys,
let's go to the mall.
288
00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:42,421
Who wants to see Santa?
289
00:17:44,623 --> 00:17:47,592
Yay!
290
00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:57,970
- [knock on door]
- What?
291
00:17:58,071 --> 00:18:00,372
- [Theresa] Sophia.
- Go away!
292
00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,842
Is everything
all right, sweetie?
293
00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:06,946
You have to work
on Christmas Eve?
294
00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,614
Yeah, we're doing
inventory today.
295
00:18:10,016 --> 00:18:11,818
I could use the extra hours.
296
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,252
I'll be home by 11, don't worry.
297
00:18:15,287 --> 00:18:17,824
Just makes sure dickhead downstairs
cooks something for dinner.
298
00:18:19,591 --> 00:18:20,927
- Did you hear me?
- Yes!
299
00:18:22,527 --> 00:18:24,229
You don't mind
if I borrow these, do you?
300
00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:26,331
I'll give them back, I swear.
301
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,602
What's the matter, is it Trey?
302
00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:32,471
What did he do now?
303
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:34,006
Mind your own business.
304
00:18:34,741 --> 00:18:36,642
I was a teenager
once too, you know?
305
00:18:37,609 --> 00:18:38,644
Until I got pregnant.
306
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:40,913
Anyways, been there done that.
307
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:42,547
I'm always here
if you need to talk.
308
00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,318
- Mom.
- Oh, no, I can't right now, honey, I got to go.
309
00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:49,454
Do me a favor though, stop by
and see your grandparents today.
310
00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:52,457
- Do I have to?
- Yes, you have to.
311
00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:55,494
- Why?
- Because they're old,
312
00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:57,295
and they live,
like, five blocks away
313
00:18:57,395 --> 00:18:58,664
and they're probably
going to die soon.
314
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,667
- And because I said so.
- Whatever!
315
00:19:01,768 --> 00:19:03,268
You don't think Grandma
could use the extra help.
316
00:19:03,736 --> 00:19:05,037
Malecia was supposed
to come over.
317
00:19:05,638 --> 00:19:07,907
So go later,
they'd love to see you.
318
00:19:08,007 --> 00:19:10,009
Fine, I'll go
but it's total bullshit.
319
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:13,445
- Sophia Hendrix, so help me, God.
- That is not my name.
320
00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:15,982
Girl, sometimes I swear you act
like a spoiled little twat.
321
00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:18,350
If you want to keep
your daddy's last name
322
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,820
and be known as the daughter
as an OD'd smack addict,
323
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,388
go ahead but don't come
crying to me again
324
00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:24,791
when they start
bullying you in school.
325
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,794
Great, now I'm really
going to be late.
326
00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:29,327
Can I use this?
327
00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:32,665
I love you, sweetie.
328
00:19:32,765 --> 00:19:36,002
[dramatic music]
329
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,650
Hey, I remember you,
you live on Easy Street, right?
330
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:53,085
Your mama like jewelry?
331
00:19:53,186 --> 00:19:54,854
She got any diamonds?
332
00:19:55,453 --> 00:19:58,024
Hey, where
the hoe, hoe, hoes at?
333
00:19:58,124 --> 00:20:00,458
How about I take you
home with me tonight?
334
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:02,094
Could be my elf on the shelf.
335
00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:03,930
No, thanks.
336
00:20:04,462 --> 00:20:05,932
[scoffs] You ain't even my type.
337
00:20:06,032 --> 00:20:09,334
- [snuffs]
- [baby cries]
338
00:20:15,975 --> 00:20:17,710
Okay, everybody,
let's take a little break.
339
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:20,378
[group moans]
340
00:20:20,746 --> 00:20:23,049
I'm sorry, folks, I just
need a word with old St. Nick.
341
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:25,350
We'll be open in ten minutes.
342
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,486
It's bad enough you show up
three sheets to the wind.
343
00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:31,590
You smell like you parked your
sleigh up Rudolph's rotten asshole,
344
00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:34,961
and you definitely can't smoke
the wacky tobacy here,
345
00:20:35,995 --> 00:20:37,063
not in my mall.
346
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,467
You got something to say to me?
347
00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:44,871
- [blows smoke]
- [coughs]
348
00:20:44,971 --> 00:20:46,973
You son of a bitch,
you're fired!
349
00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:49,041
[hip hop music]
350
00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:52,712
? Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out my way ?
351
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,947
? And if you don't
I take your phone ?
352
00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:57,116
? And punch you
in the face, hey! ?
353
00:20:57,216 --> 00:21:00,518
? Jingle bells go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
354
00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:04,690
? Oh, what fun it is to ride
this town this holiday ?
355
00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:08,928
? Stumbling through snow
on a street this Christmas Day ?
356
00:21:09,028 --> 00:21:10,930
? What time's
the pawn shop close ?
357
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,865
? Pulled up, I'm on my way ?
358
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:16,534
? Got a 40 in my hand
throwing shit up in my sack ?
359
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:21,040
? Hope I don't get caught again
or jail I'm going back ?
360
00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:24,810
? I see you when you sleep
I see when you're awake ?
361
00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:28,814
? But if you try and stop me
you'll make a big mistake ?
362
00:21:28,915 --> 00:21:30,983
? Down your chimney
I will slide ?
363
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,019
? On a cold and snowy night ?
364
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,822
? Taking all your gifts
and, bitch, I'm out of sight ?
365
00:21:36,923 --> 00:21:38,691
? I'm out of sight ?
366
00:21:38,791 --> 00:21:42,895
? Out of sight ?
367
00:21:42,995 --> 00:21:45,597
? Bitch, I'm out of sight ?
368
00:21:45,698 --> 00:21:47,199
? Out of sight ?
369
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:51,003
? Bitch, I'm out of sight
I'm out of sight ?
370
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,105
? Bitch, I'm out of sight ?
371
00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:57,575
[video game explosions]
372
00:22:03,916 --> 00:22:06,152
Damn, boy you going
to do me like that.
373
00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:10,622
Hi, Mr. Hendricks,
is Sophia home?
374
00:22:13,225 --> 00:22:14,160
Yeah, she upstairs.
375
00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:17,029
Hi, Malecia.
376
00:22:19,597 --> 00:22:23,069
Oh, what now, sucker? [laughs]
377
00:22:23,169 --> 00:22:24,637
Wait, that's not fair.
378
00:22:24,737 --> 00:22:26,072
- [knock on door]
- Who is it?
379
00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:27,673
[Malecia]
It's me, open up.
380
00:22:32,544 --> 00:22:34,612
[Sophia] Thank you so
much for coming over.
381
00:22:34,714 --> 00:22:36,481
Anything for my BFF.
382
00:22:43,823 --> 00:22:46,624
Oh, God, your stepbrother
is such a freak.
383
00:22:47,193 --> 00:22:48,560
Why, what'd he do now?
384
00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:51,063
Notta, boy's just whack.
385
00:22:52,231 --> 00:22:55,267
You have no idea, he sits
down there playing games
386
00:22:55,368 --> 00:22:58,570
all day because
he has, like, zero friends.
387
00:22:58,671 --> 00:23:00,139
What about the little boy
from down the street,
388
00:23:00,239 --> 00:23:02,008
uh... Franki, what's his face?
389
00:23:02,108 --> 00:23:03,642
Oh, RJ kicked
the crap out of him,
390
00:23:03,743 --> 00:23:05,878
so now Mrs. Baylaw won't
let him come over anymore.
391
00:23:05,978 --> 00:23:07,279
The boy's, like, ten years old.
392
00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:09,148
- Yep.
- With asthma.
393
00:23:09,915 --> 00:23:12,151
RJ gets picked on by all
the kids in his own grade,
394
00:23:12,251 --> 00:23:15,287
so he pays that forward by
bullying anyone weaker than him.
395
00:23:15,388 --> 00:23:16,922
Freakshow.
396
00:23:17,256 --> 00:23:20,159
In other news,
so what's up with Sophia?
397
00:23:21,227 --> 00:23:22,828
I'm pregnant.
398
00:23:23,062 --> 00:23:24,764
Shut up, are you serious?
399
00:23:25,597 --> 00:23:28,200
Oh, that's wild,
do you know who's it is?
400
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,170
Of course I know
who's it is, it's Trey's!
401
00:23:31,771 --> 00:23:33,538
- Oh.
- What?
402
00:23:34,073 --> 00:23:36,208
- Nothing.
- No, tell me, what?
403
00:23:36,308 --> 00:23:39,544
It's like I heard
he was with Fatchick now.
404
00:23:39,645 --> 00:23:41,579
No, he just gets
weed off of her.
405
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,782
That's not what I heard.
406
00:23:42,882 --> 00:23:44,850
Can we focus
on the problem here?
407
00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:47,552
- What's that?
- The baby, Malecia, the baby!
408
00:23:47,653 --> 00:23:49,955
- Oh, gee, relax.
- Relax?
409
00:23:50,056 --> 00:23:53,826
I cannot relax.
My mom is going to kill me.
410
00:23:53,926 --> 00:23:55,795
My whole life is over!
411
00:23:55,895 --> 00:23:57,663
I'm going to have
to drop out of school.
412
00:23:57,763 --> 00:24:01,100
I'm going to have to get,
like, a job for diapers.
413
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,302
No, you won't,
that's what welfare's for.
414
00:24:03,836 --> 00:24:04,904
- [gasps]
- What?
415
00:24:05,004 --> 00:24:07,673
I'm going to get so fat!
416
00:24:07,773 --> 00:24:09,341
Well, look at the bright side,
417
00:24:09,442 --> 00:24:11,343
if Trey's into Madison Fatchek,
418
00:24:11,944 --> 00:24:14,280
maybe he likes a little
extra cushion for the pushing.
419
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:16,282
Ow, sorry.
420
00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:19,118
He's not with Fatchek.
421
00:24:20,386 --> 00:24:23,122
Besides, heard she lost, like,
a lot of weight or something.
422
00:24:23,222 --> 00:24:24,990
Oh, I have an idea.
423
00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:28,360
- Well, spit it out.
- Girl, that's what you should have done.
424
00:24:29,695 --> 00:24:31,596
Ow, sorry.
425
00:24:33,032 --> 00:24:35,901
You could get an abortion.
426
00:24:37,069 --> 00:24:39,071
You mean, like, kill it?
427
00:24:39,171 --> 00:24:41,340
You can't kill something that's
not been born yet, can you?
428
00:24:42,308 --> 00:24:46,045
I mean, I guess not.
Is that even legal?
429
00:24:46,145 --> 00:24:48,881
Of course it's legal, it's been
legal since, like, the '80's.
430
00:24:49,248 --> 00:24:51,317
Haven't you ever heard
of a woman's right to choose?
431
00:24:52,184 --> 00:24:54,019
I thought it was choosing
the name or something.
432
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,123
No, dummy,
that means you can choose
433
00:24:57,223 --> 00:24:59,959
to keep it or... [chokes]
434
00:25:01,794 --> 00:25:03,963
- So my mom would never know?
- Nope.
435
00:25:04,063 --> 00:25:05,297
Nobody ever has to know.
436
00:25:05,998 --> 00:25:07,633
Here, let's search it.
437
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:13,772
Ohio abortions... got it.
438
00:25:14,206 --> 00:25:16,075
Well, what's it say?
439
00:25:17,343 --> 00:25:18,244
Uh...
440
00:25:21,947 --> 00:25:25,784
A parent must consent
before a minor gets an abortion.
441
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,387
My life is so over.
442
00:25:30,222 --> 00:25:31,757
Want to go get pizza?
443
00:25:32,424 --> 00:25:34,226
Go grab me another
six pack out the fridge.
444
00:25:37,997 --> 00:25:40,266
- Can I get one?
- Yeah, no.
445
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,808
- Where you all going?
- Out.
446
00:25:49,909 --> 00:25:50,910
You got to babysit
the boys next door.
447
00:25:51,010 --> 00:25:53,412
- Uh, no one told me that.
- Yeah, the neighbor lady
448
00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:55,080
came over this morning,
asked if you could watch them
449
00:25:55,181 --> 00:25:57,116
while she do some
last minute Christmas shopping.
450
00:25:57,216 --> 00:25:59,251
- So I told her, all right.
- Well, I can't.
451
00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:01,754
Your mom going to be heated
when she find out.
452
00:26:01,854 --> 00:26:04,990
- You know we need that scrilla.
- Sorry, not sorry.
453
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:08,761
Malecia!
454
00:26:09,962 --> 00:26:10,963
[RJ]
I can babysit.
455
00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:13,265
[scoffs] You? [chuckles]
456
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,437
[hip hop music]
457
00:26:22,341 --> 00:26:24,777
- [Malecia] So when did it happen?
- What?
458
00:26:26,378 --> 00:26:28,047
[moaning] Oh, oh!
459
00:26:28,147 --> 00:26:30,816
- Oh, yeah.
- On Thanksgiving.
460
00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,152
Get out, he stuffed you
up on turkey day?
461
00:26:35,888 --> 00:26:37,423
Was it at his house or yours?
462
00:26:37,523 --> 00:26:40,125
He actually got in a huge fight
with his parents that night,
463
00:26:40,793 --> 00:26:44,129
had nowhere to go to eat so
I invited him over to join us.
464
00:26:44,230 --> 00:26:45,798
Oh, you're too sweet.
465
00:26:46,198 --> 00:26:47,466
It actually happened in his car.
466
00:26:50,302 --> 00:26:53,005
Next thing I knew
we were just doing it.
467
00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:55,007
[Malecia]
How'd you get pregnant?
468
00:26:55,107 --> 00:26:56,342
Uh, last time I checked
469
00:26:56,442 --> 00:26:58,344
there's only one way
to get pregnant.
470
00:26:58,444 --> 00:27:01,013
- Didn't he use a condom?
- Yeah, at first.
471
00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:02,481
Then it kept getting...
472
00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:07,052
- soft.
- The condom?
473
00:27:07,152 --> 00:27:08,187
No, him!
474
00:27:08,287 --> 00:27:09,388
So he had to take it off.
475
00:27:10,155 --> 00:27:11,323
Oh.
476
00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:14,994
[moaning and huffing]
477
00:27:22,067 --> 00:27:24,370
- [Theresa] Sophia!
- Oh, no.
478
00:27:26,205 --> 00:27:30,209
I waited for my period,
it just never came.
479
00:27:30,909 --> 00:27:33,812
[phone vibrates]
480
00:27:33,912 --> 00:27:35,814
- No way!
- What!
481
00:27:36,081 --> 00:27:39,018
It's my mom, she says
someone broke into the house.
482
00:27:39,118 --> 00:27:41,487
- Really?
- Sorry, bae, got to go.
483
00:27:46,225 --> 00:27:49,395
Stay strong, girl,
you'll figure it out. Hundo p.
484
00:27:50,129 --> 00:27:51,263
[phone vibrates]
485
00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:54,867
Oh, hell no,
they took our presents.
486
00:27:55,501 --> 00:27:59,405
[instrumental music]
487
00:28:09,315 --> 00:28:14,253
Sophia, won't you
ride with me-a?
488
00:28:14,353 --> 00:28:15,521
Are you stalking me?
489
00:28:16,188 --> 00:28:17,456
You wish I was stalking you.
490
00:28:17,556 --> 00:28:19,124
So you're not stalking me?
491
00:28:19,224 --> 00:28:20,959
No, I'm, uh,
I'm on my way to Walmart.
492
00:28:21,060 --> 00:28:22,328
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
493
00:28:22,428 --> 00:28:24,997
- Walmart's that way.
- Oh, I mean, uh,
494
00:28:25,097 --> 00:28:26,265
I mean, I'm coming
back from Walmart.
495
00:28:26,365 --> 00:28:28,067
Oh. What'd you get?
496
00:28:28,167 --> 00:28:32,037
I, uh, I shoplifted this gum,
you want a piece?
497
00:28:32,471 --> 00:28:34,406
- You stole this?
- Maybe,
498
00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:36,342
- would that turn you on?
- [chuckles]
499
00:28:37,176 --> 00:28:38,610
I mean, that's why you're
with Trey, right,
500
00:28:38,712 --> 00:28:39,945
you like criminals.
501
00:28:40,312 --> 00:28:41,180
No.
502
00:28:42,181 --> 00:28:44,049
Huh. I just figured it
probably made you wet
503
00:28:44,149 --> 00:28:45,250
every time he talks about juvie.
504
00:28:45,351 --> 00:28:47,186
Ew. [spits]
505
00:28:49,054 --> 00:28:51,323
He's 18 now, so no more juvie.
506
00:28:51,423 --> 00:28:53,158
You know that's
so statutory right?
507
00:28:53,258 --> 00:28:54,893
- Shut up!
- I'm just saying.
508
00:28:58,130 --> 00:29:00,532
- So why him?
- Why not?
509
00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:02,368
Because he's a complete tool.
510
00:29:02,468 --> 00:29:04,570
- You're a tool!
- Good one.
511
00:29:05,471 --> 00:29:06,972
Why do you think he's a tool?
512
00:29:07,506 --> 00:29:08,907
Where do I even start?
513
00:29:10,008 --> 00:29:12,544
Jimmy Stam told me his real name
is Edward Davis III.
514
00:29:12,645 --> 00:29:14,647
He just calls himself
Trey to sound black.
515
00:29:15,247 --> 00:29:18,517
He acts like he's all hood and
gangster, he's country as shit.
516
00:29:18,617 --> 00:29:21,620
His dad's
the fishing warden, real hood.
517
00:29:23,255 --> 00:29:25,290
And plus isn't he
supposed to be a senior?
518
00:29:25,391 --> 00:29:27,226
He's failed
three years in a row.
519
00:29:28,327 --> 00:29:31,430
He's a liar, he's an asshole
and he's a scumbag.
520
00:29:31,964 --> 00:29:33,532
I bet he's cheating
on you right now.
521
00:29:34,299 --> 00:29:36,435
People like him need
to be put in their place.
522
00:29:36,736 --> 00:29:38,137
[mimics gun firing]
523
00:29:38,237 --> 00:29:41,073
Okay, psycho, let's go.
524
00:29:41,173 --> 00:29:43,342
- Where are we going?
- Madison Fatchek's house.
525
00:29:43,442 --> 00:29:46,378
- Okey dokey, pretty lady.
- You're such a dork.
526
00:29:47,045 --> 00:29:51,016
[slow music]
527
00:30:01,628 --> 00:30:05,531
[hip hop music]
528
00:30:14,473 --> 00:30:16,108
Oh, look at these losers.
529
00:30:16,208 --> 00:30:18,177
Isn't that Trey's little slut?
530
00:30:18,678 --> 00:30:20,579
[boy]
Hey, watch this.
531
00:30:25,584 --> 00:30:26,585
[spits]
532
00:30:27,252 --> 00:30:28,153
Fags!
533
00:30:28,253 --> 00:30:30,022
[laughs]
534
00:30:32,558 --> 00:30:33,959
Assholes.
535
00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:36,195
- I think those were Trey's friends.
- [sighs]
536
00:30:46,405 --> 00:30:48,507
- That's his whip, right?
- Yeah.
537
00:30:49,408 --> 00:30:50,643
He probably stole it.
538
00:30:59,084 --> 00:31:00,452
[bangs on door]
539
00:31:00,552 --> 00:31:04,389
[hip hop music]
540
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:15,702
I told you so.
541
00:31:15,802 --> 00:31:17,069
He's just smoking some weed,
542
00:31:17,169 --> 00:31:18,270
it isn't even
that big of a deal.
543
00:31:18,671 --> 00:31:23,041
[hip hop music]
544
00:31:38,858 --> 00:31:41,026
[coughs]
545
00:31:41,794 --> 00:31:43,028
Oh, snap!
546
00:31:43,630 --> 00:31:45,030
- Busted.
- Oh.
547
00:31:46,532 --> 00:31:47,634
Seriously?
548
00:31:50,737 --> 00:31:52,170
Let's go!
549
00:31:57,175 --> 00:31:59,478
[Trey] Sophia,
it's not what it looks like!
550
00:31:59,578 --> 00:32:00,813
You lied to me!
551
00:32:00,914 --> 00:32:03,081
I'm sorry, shawty,
my head's all messed up,
552
00:32:03,181 --> 00:32:04,416
I don't even know
what's going on.
553
00:32:04,516 --> 00:32:05,617
Let that bitch go, Trey.
554
00:32:05,718 --> 00:32:07,553
Who you calling a bitch, skank?
555
00:32:07,654 --> 00:32:09,756
Tell her you're with
a real woman now.
556
00:32:09,856 --> 00:32:11,156
Shut up, skank.
557
00:32:12,157 --> 00:32:13,258
Sophia.
558
00:32:13,693 --> 00:32:16,061
Okay, hoe, you gots to go.
559
00:32:16,161 --> 00:32:18,430
I'm about to pop you
like a cherry on prom night.
560
00:32:18,530 --> 00:32:22,234
- [both scream]
- [rock music]
561
00:32:24,202 --> 00:32:25,203
Whoa!
562
00:32:31,711 --> 00:32:34,313
- Damn!
- [slaps]
563
00:32:34,413 --> 00:32:36,849
- Oh.
- [screams]
564
00:32:38,317 --> 00:32:40,853
- Are you getting that?
- Yep.
565
00:32:42,287 --> 00:32:43,155
Oh, man.
566
00:32:44,189 --> 00:32:47,292
[screams]
567
00:32:47,392 --> 00:32:48,661
[laughs]
568
00:32:48,761 --> 00:32:51,263
[roars]
569
00:32:55,167 --> 00:32:57,469
[screams]
570
00:32:58,503 --> 00:33:00,472
- All right.
- Hell yeah!
571
00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:10,783
Are you going to
help me up or what?
572
00:33:12,484 --> 00:33:13,686
Hey, give me my shirt back.
573
00:33:16,956 --> 00:33:18,323
Sophia, wait!
574
00:33:22,829 --> 00:33:24,396
What are you looking at?
575
00:33:24,496 --> 00:33:27,867
This one's going on YouTube!
576
00:33:27,967 --> 00:33:31,336
[laughs]
577
00:33:31,436 --> 00:33:34,841
[dramatic music]
578
00:33:52,324 --> 00:33:54,593
- You okay?
- No.
579
00:33:55,327 --> 00:33:57,462
Well, look,
my offer still stands,
580
00:33:57,562 --> 00:33:59,598
nothing's better for a heartache
than a horror movie,
581
00:33:59,699 --> 00:34:02,200
a bottle of 151 and some
Sprite to chase it down.
582
00:34:02,802 --> 00:34:05,437
There's actually this flick
called, Silent Night, Deadly Night
583
00:34:05,537 --> 00:34:07,239
- about a deranged...
- I can't.
584
00:34:07,774 --> 00:34:09,207
Well, if Santa's not your thing,
585
00:34:09,307 --> 00:34:10,810
there's always
Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
586
00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:12,611
No, I can't come over.
587
00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:15,648
Don't tell me
it's because of Trey,
588
00:34:15,748 --> 00:34:17,850
he's cheating on you,
you saw it with your own eyes.
589
00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:20,753
There's two types
of men in this world,
590
00:34:20,853 --> 00:34:22,287
and he's neither of them.
591
00:34:23,723 --> 00:34:28,293
You're smart, you're fun, you're
beautiful, you're perfect.
592
00:34:29,729 --> 00:34:30,663
[Sofia]
Stop.
593
00:34:31,898 --> 00:34:32,765
What?
594
00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:34,934
I'm...
595
00:34:35,902 --> 00:34:37,637
Let me guess, you're
still in love with him?
596
00:34:38,336 --> 00:34:39,438
I give up.
597
00:34:39,906 --> 00:34:41,206
Noah.
598
00:34:42,842 --> 00:34:44,409
I'm pregnant!
599
00:34:45,645 --> 00:34:46,846
With his?
600
00:34:47,647 --> 00:34:48,881
[sobbing]
601
00:34:49,816 --> 00:34:51,651
I guess I was wrong
about you, Sophia,
602
00:34:51,751 --> 00:34:53,351
you're not
as smart as I thought.
603
00:34:54,519 --> 00:34:55,387
Good luck.
604
00:34:56,189 --> 00:34:57,757
- What?
- You're going to need it.
605
00:35:02,995 --> 00:35:04,897
He spit on us!
606
00:35:05,765 --> 00:35:06,899
[sighs]
607
00:35:06,999 --> 00:35:10,335
[dramatic Christmas music]
608
00:35:24,951 --> 00:35:26,251
What's wrong with you?
609
00:35:27,452 --> 00:35:30,622
[hip hop music]
610
00:35:35,460 --> 00:35:38,631
[crying]
611
00:35:43,568 --> 00:35:45,403
- [knock on door]
- Hey.
612
00:35:46,873 --> 00:35:48,340
You all right?
613
00:35:49,108 --> 00:35:51,476
- You need to talk?
- [sobbing]
614
00:35:51,978 --> 00:35:53,478
Is this about that white boy
615
00:35:53,578 --> 00:35:55,047
that thinks of himself
as a brother?
616
00:35:55,882 --> 00:35:57,616
You just let me know,
617
00:35:57,717 --> 00:36:00,418
I've been waiting months to slap
the black out of his mouth.
618
00:36:01,654 --> 00:36:04,523
Or if it's a womanly issue,
619
00:36:05,057 --> 00:36:07,026
your mom
won't be back for awhile,
620
00:36:07,126 --> 00:36:08,795
but you can always
go to your Grandma's.
621
00:36:09,528 --> 00:36:12,531
- Just go away!
- Okay.
622
00:36:12,632 --> 00:36:15,001
I'm just trying to help, God.
623
00:36:19,906 --> 00:36:21,674
[stomach rumbles]
624
00:36:22,108 --> 00:36:24,309
- [knock on door]
- How long you going to be in there?
625
00:36:25,577 --> 00:36:27,512
I got to take a shit!
626
00:36:27,612 --> 00:36:30,750
[hip hop music]
627
00:36:57,910 --> 00:36:59,411
[knock on door]
628
00:37:05,584 --> 00:37:07,619
- Get off my porch.
- Grandpa.
629
00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:11,123
- I will shoot.
- Grandpa, it's me, Sophia.
630
00:37:11,657 --> 00:37:13,693
- Who?
- Your granddaughter!
631
00:37:14,559 --> 00:37:16,762
Oh, yeah. [laughs]
632
00:37:16,863 --> 00:37:19,765
- Come on in, sweetie pie.
- Okay.
633
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:33,946
[upbeat music]
634
00:37:43,923 --> 00:37:46,458
Go on, take a seat, sit down.
635
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,461
What happened to your eye?
636
00:37:52,564 --> 00:37:55,400
- What's that?
- Your eye, what happened?
637
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:58,436
That ain't nothing, I'm fine.
638
00:38:12,517 --> 00:38:14,486
I'm sorry, where are my manners,
639
00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:17,622
would you like something
to drink some milk or pop?
640
00:38:17,924 --> 00:38:19,025
No, thanks.
641
00:38:19,659 --> 00:38:21,861
- You want to cookie?
- No, I'm good.
642
00:38:21,961 --> 00:38:23,029
Well, suit yourself.
643
00:38:26,232 --> 00:38:27,133
[exhales]
644
00:38:27,233 --> 00:38:28,134
Where's Grandma at?
645
00:38:33,205 --> 00:38:35,708
[gun firing]
646
00:38:35,808 --> 00:38:37,475
[upbeat music]
647
00:38:37,575 --> 00:38:38,678
[gun fires]
648
00:38:40,112 --> 00:38:42,982
[police sirens blare]
649
00:38:50,156 --> 00:38:51,791
We just don't want
any trouble here, ma'am.
650
00:38:54,526 --> 00:38:55,928
[growls]
651
00:39:03,769 --> 00:39:06,172
- You worthless piece of garbage!
- Hey!
652
00:39:06,272 --> 00:39:09,709
- Ow!
- Settle down. [hollers]
653
00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:14,180
Okay, that was against the law.
654
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,781
[growls]
655
00:39:22,755 --> 00:39:24,790
Oh, who gives a shit.
656
00:39:24,890 --> 00:39:26,624
I was just hoping
to talk to her.
657
00:39:27,026 --> 00:39:29,494
Why, you have
a bad day at school?
658
00:39:29,962 --> 00:39:32,231
Oh, there's no school today,
it's Christmas Eve.
659
00:39:32,898 --> 00:39:34,033
Oh, yeah.
660
00:39:35,234 --> 00:39:37,569
I knew that. [chuckles]
661
00:39:38,871 --> 00:39:40,572
Can I ask you
a question, Grandpa?
662
00:39:41,774 --> 00:39:43,242
[smacks lip] Shoot, kiddo.
663
00:39:43,943 --> 00:39:46,078
Why did you and Grandma
stop after Mom came along?
664
00:39:46,912 --> 00:39:49,048
Like, why didn't you guys
have any more kids?
665
00:39:49,348 --> 00:39:51,951
[coughs]
666
00:39:56,088 --> 00:39:58,090
- We did.
- What?
667
00:39:59,591 --> 00:40:00,659
Your mama...
668
00:40:02,328 --> 00:40:04,296
she was actually
our second child.
669
00:40:05,798 --> 00:40:08,768
She's got an older sister
out there somewhere.
670
00:40:09,735 --> 00:40:10,736
What?
671
00:40:13,939 --> 00:40:14,974
You know what,
672
00:40:15,975 --> 00:40:18,144
your grandma would fry
my balls for breakfast
673
00:40:18,244 --> 00:40:21,947
if she knew I was going to tell you
this, but guess what, kiddy...
674
00:40:23,382 --> 00:40:25,651
want you get to my age
you start passing secrets
675
00:40:25,751 --> 00:40:27,619
like you pass gas. [laughs]
676
00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,155
Oh, Grandpa.
677
00:40:30,890 --> 00:40:32,825
It's milk. [laughs]
678
00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:34,827
So what happened to her?
679
00:40:37,029 --> 00:40:39,331
- Who's that?
- Mom's sister.
680
00:40:44,103 --> 00:40:45,971
You know that story about how
681
00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:47,940
me and your Grandma met,
don't you?
682
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,109
Yeah, at a Cleveland Indians
game, right?
683
00:40:50,209 --> 00:40:53,813
[laughs] We didn't meet
at no Indians game,
684
00:40:53,913 --> 00:40:55,981
that was just a,
just a bunch of hog wash
685
00:40:56,082 --> 00:40:57,615
your grandma told everyone.
686
00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,053
Christ, we, we met at a church.
687
00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:03,022
You and Grandma went to church?
688
00:41:03,122 --> 00:41:06,225
[laughs] Hell yes,
we went in to church.
689
00:41:08,327 --> 00:41:11,931
That was damn near 50 years ago.
690
00:41:17,670 --> 00:41:21,073
You see your grandma
was real religious back then.
691
00:41:22,374 --> 00:41:25,010
I attended
on a regular basis, though
692
00:41:25,111 --> 00:41:27,780
I wasn't much
for the singing and dancing
693
00:41:28,681 --> 00:41:29,782
till I met her.
694
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:35,121
From that moment on
there was no getting between us.
695
00:41:37,957 --> 00:41:39,725
[moaning]
696
00:41:39,825 --> 00:41:41,026
Good Lord!
697
00:41:41,127 --> 00:41:45,831
Oh, my God, oh, oh,
oh, my God, oh, oh,
698
00:41:45,931 --> 00:41:49,168
amen, oh, amen, oh, my God!
699
00:41:50,102 --> 00:41:51,804
Long story short...
700
00:41:53,439 --> 00:41:54,707
I put a bun in her over.
701
00:41:56,041 --> 00:41:59,745
And after a few months,
that baby girl was upon us.
702
00:42:02,348 --> 00:42:04,250
So we put her up for adoption.
703
00:42:05,050 --> 00:42:06,051
Why?
704
00:42:06,152 --> 00:42:08,320
Well, I didn't have a job,
705
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:11,090
we had no way
to support her and it's...
706
00:42:13,192 --> 00:42:16,262
sometimes life only gives you
one choice in the moment.
707
00:42:18,164 --> 00:42:20,699
I always hoped that
she had a good life,
708
00:42:20,799 --> 00:42:22,868
she, she found a good family
709
00:42:22,968 --> 00:42:25,404
that loved her
and took care of her.
710
00:42:28,307 --> 00:42:30,976
Anyway, Grandma and me,
we moved on.
711
00:42:32,912 --> 00:42:36,015
After a few years,
I got a job at the mill.
712
00:42:36,415 --> 00:42:39,885
We built a house
and we started trying again.
713
00:42:40,486 --> 00:42:42,254
That's when your mama came along
714
00:42:42,354 --> 00:42:45,824
and believe me, with all the
spit and vinegar in her veins,
715
00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:48,861
one was enough. [laughs]
716
00:42:48,961 --> 00:42:49,795
Wow.
717
00:42:50,396 --> 00:42:51,463
Yeah.
718
00:42:52,698 --> 00:42:56,335
Funny thing is we, we ain't
never been back to church since.
719
00:42:57,469 --> 00:43:00,239
So I bought myself
a wedding coat
720
00:43:00,339 --> 00:43:02,241
and I met her at the courthouse.
721
00:43:03,876 --> 00:43:06,011
- And that was that.
- Yeah.
722
00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:09,481
And that, sweetie pie, was that.
723
00:43:12,051 --> 00:43:15,321
Son of a bitch,
[stutters] what time is it?
724
00:43:15,421 --> 00:43:17,223
Uh, it's a quarter past eight.
725
00:43:17,323 --> 00:43:19,358
Yeah, I forgot to take
my cholesterol pills.
726
00:43:23,896 --> 00:43:25,798
Are you sure I can't get
you something to eat?
727
00:43:26,198 --> 00:43:29,101
No, thanks, Grandpa, I haven't had
much of an appetite today anyway.
728
00:43:29,568 --> 00:43:30,970
Plus, I got to get going.
729
00:43:33,339 --> 00:43:34,306
Bye, Grandpa.
730
00:43:39,979 --> 00:43:41,347
Hey, tell Grandma I said hi.
731
00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:42,948
Okay.
732
00:43:43,849 --> 00:43:44,516
Bye!
733
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,956
Yeah, Grandma.
734
00:43:51,056 --> 00:43:55,995
? Silent night ?
735
00:43:56,095 --> 00:44:01,200
? Holy night ?
736
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:06,405
? All is calm ?
737
00:44:06,505 --> 00:44:11,176
? All is bright ?
738
00:44:11,944 --> 00:44:16,215
? Round young virgin ?
739
00:44:16,315 --> 00:44:19,151
What a crock of shit.
740
00:44:19,585 --> 00:44:23,389
You really think
she was a virgin?
741
00:44:24,356 --> 00:44:27,126
You think anyone around here
would believe me
742
00:44:27,226 --> 00:44:30,562
if I said Jesus knocked me up?
743
00:44:31,263 --> 00:44:36,168
Yeah, that's what I'll go with,
immaculate conception.
744
00:44:36,568 --> 00:44:40,039
Yep, Jesus is the one,
Jesus is the daddy,
745
00:44:40,139 --> 00:44:43,275
he knocked me up,
I'm still a virgin.
746
00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:46,045
[blows a raspberry]
Give me a goddamn break.
747
00:44:46,145 --> 00:44:48,580
- [screams]
- ? Sleep in ?
748
00:44:48,682 --> 00:44:55,487
? Heavenly peace ?
749
00:44:55,587 --> 00:44:58,824
[Santa urinating]
750
00:44:59,358 --> 00:45:01,160
You guys know any Tupac?
751
00:45:03,462 --> 00:45:06,432
Your brother was being a bad
boy, but if your mommy asks,
752
00:45:06,532 --> 00:45:09,301
he fell down when you were
playing tag, you understand?
753
00:45:10,569 --> 00:45:12,271
Now get up and go lay in bed.
754
00:45:13,339 --> 00:45:15,040
[Trey whistles]
755
00:45:15,140 --> 00:45:16,508
Bring that ass over here...
756
00:45:17,543 --> 00:45:18,410
please?
757
00:45:28,487 --> 00:45:31,857
Okay, okay, okay, I deserved
that, I deserved that.
758
00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:35,060
Look, I'm so sorry, girl.
759
00:45:35,961 --> 00:45:39,031
Have you even got my texts, I've been
blowing up the phone like a hella cray.
760
00:45:39,598 --> 00:45:41,233
I don't know what
I was thinking.
761
00:45:41,333 --> 00:45:44,103
Maybe I thought, you know,
you're on a break, or something,
762
00:45:44,203 --> 00:45:46,138
like my dick is in her mouth,
763
00:45:46,238 --> 00:45:48,440
but my heart is
in your hands, you feel me?
764
00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:50,409
- Trey, I have something to tell you.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
765
00:45:50,509 --> 00:45:52,044
Let me finish, let me finish.
766
00:45:52,679 --> 00:45:54,580
I know I made a mistake,
767
00:45:54,681 --> 00:45:58,016
but the truth is that hoe
ain't got nothing on you, girl.
768
00:45:59,686 --> 00:46:01,286
You're my one and only,
769
00:46:01,387 --> 00:46:03,288
the peanut butter
to my jelly sandwich, girl.
770
00:46:03,389 --> 00:46:05,157
- I love you.
- I'm pregnant.
771
00:46:05,257 --> 00:46:06,258
I love everything...
772
00:46:07,292 --> 00:46:09,328
Wait, what?
773
00:46:09,428 --> 00:46:10,630
You heard me.
774
00:46:10,730 --> 00:46:11,530
That shit ain't mine.
775
00:46:12,398 --> 00:46:13,899
I know that shit
for reals ain't mine.
776
00:46:13,999 --> 00:46:16,235
- Who's do you think it is?
- I don't know,
777
00:46:16,335 --> 00:46:18,103
maybe it's that one kid
you've been hanging with.
778
00:46:18,203 --> 00:46:19,571
What's his name, Noah Vanhomo?
779
00:46:19,672 --> 00:46:21,540
- No.
- I see the way he look at you.
780
00:46:22,274 --> 00:46:23,375
- He hit that, huh?
- No.
781
00:46:23,475 --> 00:46:25,010
- I know he hit that.
- Trey.
782
00:46:25,110 --> 00:46:26,545
You're the only person
783
00:46:26,646 --> 00:46:27,647
I've ever been with.
784
00:46:28,782 --> 00:46:31,216
You expect me to believe that?
How dumb you think I am?
785
00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:33,653
You're about making all this up
just to try to win me back.
786
00:46:33,753 --> 00:46:35,655
- Win you back?
- Yeah.
787
00:46:35,755 --> 00:46:37,923
And you just jelly
because I moved on with my life.
788
00:46:38,023 --> 00:46:39,124
It ain't going to work.
789
00:46:39,224 --> 00:46:42,094
Trey, I'm serious,
this is your baby.
790
00:46:42,762 --> 00:46:44,430
- This our baby.
- Stop...
791
00:46:45,497 --> 00:46:46,465
saying that.
792
00:46:46,565 --> 00:46:47,667
What are we going to do?
793
00:46:47,767 --> 00:46:50,102
There is no we
in this situation.
794
00:46:50,436 --> 00:46:51,937
Is what are you going to do?
795
00:46:52,037 --> 00:46:54,506
- [slow music]
- Gee.
796
00:46:54,606 --> 00:46:55,507
Sophia!
797
00:46:57,075 --> 00:46:59,111
[horn blows]
798
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,682
Coming up at 11,
officials are calling it
799
00:47:02,782 --> 00:47:04,416
an opioid epidemic.
800
00:47:04,516 --> 00:47:06,653
So what can parents do
to make sure their kids
801
00:47:06,753 --> 00:47:08,253
stay off the white horse?
802
00:47:08,353 --> 00:47:10,690
Plus, a string
of Christmas Eve robberies
803
00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:11,825
have been reported around town.
804
00:47:12,692 --> 00:47:15,360
So be sure to keep
the doors locked tight tonight.
805
00:47:15,461 --> 00:47:17,095
[male reporter]
And full details on the charges
806
00:47:17,196 --> 00:47:18,597
levied at Mayor McHenry.
807
00:47:18,698 --> 00:47:20,700
Just how much money
is he accused of stealing
808
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,201
from the county road department?
809
00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:24,970
All that and more
at First Action News 11.
810
00:47:25,070 --> 00:47:26,673
[slow music]
811
00:47:26,773 --> 00:47:28,173
If either one of you's
tells on me...
812
00:47:30,576 --> 00:47:31,644
Now go to bed.
813
00:47:33,412 --> 00:47:37,684
[loud rap music playing]
814
00:47:47,593 --> 00:47:51,330
[slow music]
815
00:47:53,198 --> 00:47:55,768
[snoring]
816
00:48:12,384 --> 00:48:13,318
RJ?
817
00:48:14,319 --> 00:48:15,187
Sophia?
818
00:48:15,287 --> 00:48:18,423
[hip hop music]
819
00:48:21,393 --> 00:48:23,395
[yawns]
820
00:48:39,511 --> 00:48:42,214
- [urinating]
- ? Eat a dick eat, eat, eat a dick ?
821
00:48:42,314 --> 00:48:44,349
? Take a big old bite
or a little lick ?
822
00:48:44,751 --> 00:48:46,653
- Yeah?
- [Theresa over phone] Did you cook dinner?
823
00:48:46,753 --> 00:48:49,288
No, I didn't cook
no damn dinner, I told you.
824
00:48:49,388 --> 00:48:52,591
- Rayjon, I swear to God I bust my ass every week...
- Babe.
825
00:48:52,692 --> 00:48:54,459
- ...working overtime then I have to come home...
- Babe.
826
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,162
- ...and cook and clean and do the dishes.
- Baby.
827
00:48:57,262 --> 00:48:59,666
- All while you sit on your lazy ass.
- Bitch, relax!
828
00:48:59,766 --> 00:49:02,200
- I'll pick something up.
- What did you call me?
829
00:49:02,301 --> 00:49:04,771
- Damn.
- Consider this your New Year's resolution,
830
00:49:04,871 --> 00:49:06,639
either you get a job
and get your shit together...
831
00:49:06,739 --> 00:49:08,373
Oops, lost you.
832
00:49:17,616 --> 00:49:20,720
Thanks again for watching them. I am so
surprised that they're asleep already.
833
00:49:20,820 --> 00:49:22,621
They're great kids, really.
834
00:49:24,791 --> 00:49:26,425
They're a little
rough though, like I said,
835
00:49:26,525 --> 00:49:27,794
one minute
they're playing tag then
836
00:49:27,894 --> 00:49:30,095
all of a sudden it became
a full blown fist fight.
837
00:49:30,429 --> 00:49:32,632
What? Dear lord.
838
00:49:32,732 --> 00:49:35,702
Don't worry, I put an end
to that real quick.
839
00:49:35,802 --> 00:49:38,537
Here, take this,
thank you so much.
840
00:49:38,638 --> 00:49:40,238
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
841
00:49:40,740 --> 00:49:44,610
[slow music]
842
00:49:59,558 --> 00:50:00,492
Sup?
843
00:50:01,426 --> 00:50:04,162
Going to get some food,
you want anything?
844
00:50:04,262 --> 00:50:06,431
- Yeah, where you going?
- Doghouse.
845
00:50:06,833 --> 00:50:10,202
- Um, strawberry milkshake.
- [laughs]
846
00:50:11,603 --> 00:50:14,473
- Boy, you into some fruity shit, huh?
- You all right to drive?
847
00:50:14,573 --> 00:50:17,309
Don't come at me
like that strawberry shake.
848
00:50:17,677 --> 00:50:18,711
I'm fine.
849
00:50:20,913 --> 00:50:22,649
How much scoobs was given
you for watching them brats?
850
00:50:23,448 --> 00:50:24,516
Thirty bucks.
851
00:50:25,752 --> 00:50:26,719
Seriously?
852
00:50:27,586 --> 00:50:29,388
You want that milkshake or not?
853
00:50:29,922 --> 00:50:31,490
Milkshakes don't cost 30 bucks.
854
00:50:31,958 --> 00:50:33,392
The ones at Doghouse do.
855
00:50:34,393 --> 00:50:38,363
Here, but I keep the rest,
because it's my house,
856
00:50:38,798 --> 00:50:40,198
and it's my rules.
857
00:50:41,768 --> 00:50:45,672
Cheer up, son, you're only
got three or four more years
858
00:50:46,605 --> 00:50:48,941
then you're ass
enlist in the Marines,
859
00:50:49,042 --> 00:50:50,810
then you're Uncle Sam's problem.
860
00:50:52,712 --> 00:50:53,913
Come on, man, put them up.
861
00:50:54,013 --> 00:50:56,448
Come on, boy,
put them up, put them up.
862
00:50:56,983 --> 00:51:00,218
[laughs] What's you going
to do now, sucker?
863
00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:08,560
Please pick up, Noah.
864
00:51:09,629 --> 00:51:11,731
[announcer] Under two minutes to
go on the ninth annual achievements
865
00:51:11,831 --> 00:51:13,432
- high efficiency toilet bowl.
- [phone vibrates]
866
00:51:13,532 --> 00:51:15,434
The Penguins look
sluggish all day but had to
867
00:51:15,534 --> 00:51:18,270
get another turnover
by the Grasshoppers offense.
868
00:51:18,370 --> 00:51:19,939
- [phone vibrates]
- [glass breaks]
869
00:51:20,039 --> 00:51:21,674
...from a colossal upset here.
870
00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:23,508
[host] I haven't seen
anything this sloppy
871
00:51:23,608 --> 00:51:25,945
since I walked in on my wife
with a special teams unit.
872
00:51:26,045 --> 00:51:27,847
[announcer]
Whoa, buddy, whoa,
873
00:51:27,947 --> 00:51:31,349
save that one for the postgame show, huh? [laughs]
874
00:51:31,450 --> 00:51:34,219
? I'm just chilling
with my crew thinking of ways ?
875
00:51:34,319 --> 00:51:35,755
? To get them dollars
I'm just... ?
876
00:51:35,855 --> 00:51:37,456
[announcer]
We'll be right back with more
877
00:51:37,556 --> 00:51:39,158
from the Hughes High
Efficiency Toilet Bowl
878
00:51:39,892 --> 00:51:42,627
- brought to you by...
- [female host] Have you heard about the mayor, folks?
879
00:51:42,729 --> 00:51:44,697
Yeah, this guy's
a real piece of work.
880
00:51:44,797 --> 00:51:46,331
I am sick and tired...
881
00:51:46,431 --> 00:51:47,767
? I did something crazy ?
882
00:51:47,867 --> 00:51:50,002
? And I won't
remember it tomorrow ?
883
00:51:50,103 --> 00:51:53,271
[truck engine revs]
884
00:51:55,540 --> 00:51:59,979
Don't be cocking me, fool,
I go 187, blah, blah, blah.
885
00:52:02,915 --> 00:52:04,549
[female host] If you've
been living under a rock
886
00:52:04,650 --> 00:52:06,018
and you have not heard by now,
887
00:52:06,119 --> 00:52:08,688
the mayor
of our wonderful little town
888
00:52:08,788 --> 00:52:10,489
was arrested this morning.
889
00:52:10,589 --> 00:52:11,991
That's right, folks,
I'm going to say it again.
890
00:52:12,091 --> 00:52:13,760
The mayor arrested
891
00:52:13,860 --> 00:52:15,928
on freaking
Christmas Eve of all days.
892
00:52:16,028 --> 00:52:18,430
Looks like he's getting
a lump of coal in his stocking.
893
00:52:18,530 --> 00:52:20,499
I'd like to slap him
upside the head with it.
894
00:52:20,599 --> 00:52:22,802
They said he took hundreds
of thousands of dollars
895
00:52:22,902 --> 00:52:24,402
from the road department.
896
00:52:24,503 --> 00:52:25,905
Yeah, those same
busted ass roads
897
00:52:26,005 --> 00:52:27,372
you're probably
driving on right now
898
00:52:27,472 --> 00:52:28,674
with the three foot
craters in them.
899
00:52:28,775 --> 00:52:30,509
These roads we supposedly
900
00:52:30,609 --> 00:52:32,377
paid for with our taxes.
901
00:52:32,477 --> 00:52:34,947
This degenerate thought
he could get away with it, ha.
902
00:52:35,047 --> 00:52:39,986
Walk in, Trey Trey,
man up, take responsibility.
903
00:52:41,586 --> 00:52:44,690
Let's go, Trey Trey, let's go!
904
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,963
[hip hop music]
905
00:52:51,063 --> 00:52:54,399
[breathing heavily]
906
00:52:58,037 --> 00:52:59,038
Let's go.
907
00:53:19,158 --> 00:53:22,094
[gun fires on video game]
908
00:53:22,195 --> 00:53:26,331
[phone vibrates
with moaning girl]
909
00:53:40,646 --> 00:53:42,815
[female host] Nightly Talk Radio is
sponsored by Shark Power Washing,
910
00:53:42,915 --> 00:53:44,884
that's the real Sharp Power
Washing, got a dirty deck,
911
00:53:44,984 --> 00:53:46,953
call Sharp Power Washing,
big or small, light or dark,
912
00:53:47,053 --> 00:53:49,021
they'll make your deck look
cleaner, whiter, girthier.
913
00:53:49,121 --> 00:53:50,957
The whole neighborhood will be
talking about your sharp deck.
914
00:53:51,057 --> 00:53:53,458
Sharp Power Washing remember,
the other guys might power wash
915
00:53:53,558 --> 00:53:54,559
but they ain't real sharp.
916
00:54:03,501 --> 00:54:04,637
[knock on door]
917
00:54:04,737 --> 00:54:06,138
Soph, it's me.
918
00:54:07,073 --> 00:54:08,573
[knock on door]
919
00:54:10,877 --> 00:54:12,645
I'm sorry
for what I said, shawty.
920
00:54:15,214 --> 00:54:18,017
Look, I'll help you
find a doctor,
921
00:54:18,117 --> 00:54:19,517
I'll even pay for it.
922
00:54:20,119 --> 00:54:21,787
Just please open the door.
923
00:54:21,888 --> 00:54:24,056
[cries]
924
00:54:24,156 --> 00:54:27,093
[breathes heavy]
925
00:54:28,194 --> 00:54:34,399
Sophia, you should be with me-a!
926
00:54:34,700 --> 00:54:40,605
But you're a fool to be tool.
927
00:54:43,743 --> 00:54:45,577
[announcer] This is it,
the clock is ticking
928
00:54:45,678 --> 00:54:47,179
and the game's on the line.
929
00:54:48,681 --> 00:54:50,816
[female host]
So if you have something to say
930
00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:53,019
- about the mayor, I'd like to hear it.
- [yawns]
931
00:54:53,119 --> 00:54:55,121
- Oh, man. Yeah.
- We're going to open up the phone lines right now.
932
00:54:55,221 --> 00:54:57,156
300-888-72...
933
00:54:57,256 --> 00:55:00,960
[announcer] On their feet,
it's all up to Noah Vanmeter now
934
00:55:01,060 --> 00:55:03,829
but I don't know, Chip,
he looks kind of drunk.
935
00:55:03,930 --> 00:55:06,065
- [crowd] Noah, Noah, Noah!
- [announcer] There's the snap.
936
00:55:07,033 --> 00:55:09,035
The kick is up and it's...
937
00:55:09,135 --> 00:55:12,071
- [crowd] Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah!
- It's good!
938
00:55:12,171 --> 00:55:14,572
[female host] With these stinking
politicians is crooked...
939
00:55:14,674 --> 00:55:17,176
[crowd] Noah, Noah,
Noah, Noah, Noah!
940
00:55:17,944 --> 00:55:18,811
[Sophia]
Shoe's untied.
941
00:55:19,278 --> 00:55:20,880
Better double knot it.
942
00:55:22,214 --> 00:55:23,649
[female host]
888-70...
943
00:55:24,616 --> 00:55:25,985
- There.
- [engine revs]
944
00:55:26,085 --> 00:55:28,688
- [screams]
- Jesus!
945
00:55:29,587 --> 00:55:31,190
These damn potholes.
946
00:55:32,557 --> 00:55:33,926
I ain't going to tax
my unemployment
947
00:55:34,026 --> 00:55:37,495
when they fix the damn roads,
corrupt mother...
948
00:55:42,835 --> 00:55:44,003
Mommy.
949
00:55:45,104 --> 00:55:45,972
[glass breaks]
950
00:55:46,072 --> 00:55:49,607
[hip hop Christmas music]
951
00:56:05,257 --> 00:56:07,159
[laughs]
952
00:56:09,829 --> 00:56:13,032
What the hell, he don't
even look nothing like me.
953
00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:16,836
What, take that, Santa.
954
00:56:55,641 --> 00:56:56,876
[grunts]
955
00:56:58,944 --> 00:57:02,614
[female host] I hope you meet a nice
big fellow behind bars, Mr. Mayor,
956
00:57:02,715 --> 00:57:05,317
a big old bubba who makes
a pothole out of your behind.
957
00:57:05,418 --> 00:57:06,752
Pay that, pal.
958
00:57:07,887 --> 00:57:09,688
[window clerk] Settle down.
Would you like to
959
00:57:09,789 --> 00:57:11,757
try our new
Chihuahua sirachi burger?
960
00:57:11,857 --> 00:57:15,593
Um, yeah, give me one of those,
961
00:57:16,195 --> 00:57:17,797
a hound dog,
962
00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:22,134
a Yorkie and, um...
963
00:57:24,670 --> 00:57:25,971
two golden retrievers.
964
00:57:27,406 --> 00:57:28,674
Anything else?
965
00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:30,743
A strawberry shake.
966
00:57:30,843 --> 00:57:32,945
A strawberry shake. Is that all?
967
00:57:33,779 --> 00:57:35,347
Give me some extra fries too.
968
00:57:35,948 --> 00:57:38,884
Okay, your total is $17.79.
969
00:57:39,385 --> 00:57:42,988
I'll tell you what...
lose the extra fries.
970
00:57:53,232 --> 00:57:56,635
Whoa, damn,
girl, you packing now?
971
00:57:56,735 --> 00:57:59,805
That's that
Dirty Harry shit, damn.
972
00:57:59,905 --> 00:58:02,675
Oh, oh, oh, okay,
okay, okay, Soph.
973
00:58:03,776 --> 00:58:04,743
You don't have to do this.
974
00:58:05,044 --> 00:58:09,381
[upbeat music]
975
00:58:17,189 --> 00:58:19,358
- Where's your dad?
- He went to get food.
976
00:58:20,025 --> 00:58:20,893
Son of a...
977
00:58:24,296 --> 00:58:25,364
21 cents.
978
00:58:27,066 --> 00:58:28,367
Holy balls!
979
00:58:29,201 --> 00:58:30,202
What?
980
00:58:32,271 --> 00:58:33,639
[screams]
981
00:58:37,977 --> 00:58:39,044
[tires screech]
982
00:58:39,912 --> 00:58:41,280
- Where's Sophia?
- I don't know.
983
00:58:44,150 --> 00:58:46,185
You're not alone, I'm here.
984
00:58:46,886 --> 00:58:48,254
We could do whatever you want.
985
00:58:48,354 --> 00:58:50,756
Just put the gun down.
986
00:58:51,824 --> 00:58:54,160
[engine revs]
987
00:58:58,330 --> 00:58:59,665
I think Dad's home.
988
00:59:00,166 --> 00:59:02,034
Turn it off, time to eat.
989
00:59:06,138 --> 00:59:08,674
[reporter] Welcome back to
First Action News at 11.
990
00:59:09,408 --> 00:59:12,178
[Santa]
Oh, shit. [grunts]
991
00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:20,119
- [crying]
- Rayjon?
992
00:59:20,219 --> 00:59:22,922
- [crying]
- [police sirens blare]
993
00:59:23,022 --> 00:59:24,857
- I'm so sorry.
- Are you drunk?
994
00:59:24,957 --> 00:59:26,392
I'm so sorry!
995
00:59:26,492 --> 00:59:27,960
[Theresa]
Sorry for what?
996
00:59:28,060 --> 00:59:30,162
[police sirens blare]
997
00:59:31,063 --> 00:59:32,398
What did you do?
998
00:59:34,833 --> 00:59:37,336
[phone vibrates
with girl moaning]
999
00:59:37,436 --> 00:59:38,704
Answer it.
1000
00:59:42,041 --> 00:59:43,042
It's nobody.
1001
00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:47,246
Get on your knees,
show me your hands!
1002
00:59:47,346 --> 00:59:48,480
[crying]
1003
00:59:48,581 --> 00:59:50,015
Hey, I said on your knees!
1004
00:59:50,115 --> 00:59:52,017
- Hey, freeze, freeze!
- [gun fires]
1005
00:59:52,117 --> 00:59:53,452
We got a runner.
1006
00:59:54,353 --> 00:59:55,487
Freeze, hey!
1007
00:59:57,256 --> 00:59:58,991
Right in the fucking knee!
1008
00:59:59,258 --> 01:00:00,426
Kid, hey!
1009
01:00:04,096 --> 01:00:07,399
- Kid, freaking golf clubs. Oh!
- [metal clanking]
1010
01:00:08,167 --> 01:00:09,034
Come on.
1011
01:00:10,369 --> 01:00:11,437
Get off of me.
1012
01:00:13,172 --> 01:00:15,441
Hey, dispatch, what was
the make on that 1022?
1013
01:00:15,541 --> 01:00:18,210
[crying]
1014
01:00:18,310 --> 01:00:19,745
Please forgive me!
1015
01:00:19,845 --> 01:00:22,848
Somebody tell me
what the hell's going on!
1016
01:00:23,349 --> 01:00:26,318
[phone vibrates
with girl moaning]
1017
01:00:26,418 --> 01:00:28,053
Do it now!
1018
01:00:31,590 --> 01:00:32,858
On speaker.
1019
01:00:37,029 --> 01:00:39,498
[Madison over phone] Hey, sexy,
did you dump that hoe yet or what?
1020
01:00:39,598 --> 01:00:41,033
- [gun fires]
- Oh!
1021
01:00:41,133 --> 01:00:42,034
Huh?
1022
01:00:42,134 --> 01:00:43,969
- [crying]
- What was that?
1023
01:00:44,970 --> 01:00:46,071
I need backup.
1024
01:00:47,106 --> 01:00:49,308
[Trey hollers]
1025
01:00:49,408 --> 01:00:51,176
You shot me!
1026
01:00:51,877 --> 01:00:53,879
You shot me in the dick!
1027
01:00:54,413 --> 01:00:58,083
[Sophia] Dear God, Lord,
your highness, whatever,
1028
01:00:58,183 --> 01:01:00,919
it's me again,
Sophia Nefantarter.
1029
01:01:01,020 --> 01:01:02,354
[Trey]
Oh, my winkie!
1030
01:01:03,088 --> 01:01:06,292
[Sophia] Thank you,
thank you for this gift.
1031
01:01:06,625 --> 01:01:08,027
The gift of life.
1032
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:10,329
I ask for your forgiveness
1033
01:01:10,929 --> 01:01:12,931
for all the bad shit
that I've done,
1034
01:01:13,332 --> 01:01:15,367
for all the bad shit
my family's done.
1035
01:01:16,969 --> 01:01:19,071
Please forgive us.
1036
01:01:22,141 --> 01:01:24,143
And please, God...
1037
01:01:25,944 --> 01:01:27,279
more than anything else...
1038
01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,917
don't let them
take my baby away.
1039
01:01:34,053 --> 01:01:36,522
Don't let anyone
take my baby away.
1040
01:01:37,890 --> 01:01:39,491
[hip hop music]
1041
01:01:39,591 --> 01:01:42,094
? All I want
for Christmas, yeah ?
1042
01:01:42,594 --> 01:01:44,263
? I said, all I want
for Christmas ?
1043
01:01:44,363 --> 01:01:46,031
- ? Yeah, yeah ?
- [Santa grunts]
1044
01:01:46,532 --> 01:01:49,034
- ? All I want for Christmas yeah, yeah ?
- Whoa.
1045
01:01:50,936 --> 01:01:54,273
? All I want for Christmas
is two bad bitches ?
1046
01:01:54,373 --> 01:01:57,543
? A big bag of weed
and a Charger on six's ?
1047
01:01:57,644 --> 01:02:01,046
- ? A fresh pair of jeans and a brand new birdie ?
- [guns firing]
1048
01:02:01,146 --> 01:02:03,115
? If I don't get
everything on my list ?
1049
01:02:03,215 --> 01:02:05,050
? Santa's getting
murdered, murdered ?
1050
01:02:05,150 --> 01:02:08,120
? All I want for Christmas
is two bad bitches ?
1051
01:02:08,220 --> 01:02:11,523
? A big bag of weed
and a Charger on six's ?
1052
01:02:11,623 --> 01:02:14,960
? A fresh pair of jeans
and a brand new birdie ?
1053
01:02:15,060 --> 01:02:17,196
? If I don't get
everything on my list ?
1054
01:02:17,296 --> 01:02:19,231
? Santa's getting
murdered, murdered ?
1055
01:02:19,331 --> 01:02:22,501
? I'm a the studio
with your bitch on the low ?
1056
01:02:22,601 --> 01:02:26,071
? Get your winter coats because
I'm about to make it snow ?
1057
01:02:26,171 --> 01:02:30,342
? I saw mama kissing Santa
Clause underneath the mistletoe ?
1058
01:02:30,442 --> 01:02:32,044
? So I called that bitch a hoe ?
1059
01:02:32,144 --> 01:02:35,114
Breaking news now coming
to us from KB's Doghouse
1060
01:02:35,214 --> 01:02:36,649
on state route 12.
1061
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:39,118
For more we go to Guy Sanders
live on location.
1062
01:02:39,218 --> 01:02:40,519
Guy, what can you tell us?
1063
01:02:41,086 --> 01:02:43,622
Well, Todd, state highway patrol
are now investigating
1064
01:02:43,723 --> 01:02:45,457
what seems to be
a grizzly hit and run
1065
01:02:45,557 --> 01:02:48,193
which occurred sometime
before 10:46 p.m.
1066
01:02:48,293 --> 01:02:49,561
When a man in a red pickup truck
1067
01:02:49,662 --> 01:02:52,264
came to this drive through
to get something to eat.
1068
01:02:52,364 --> 01:02:54,466
When I looked out
I couldn't believe my eyes.
1069
01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,602
It was a bloody mess down there.
1070
01:02:56,703 --> 01:02:58,537
There was blood everywhere
and an arm sticking out.
1071
01:02:58,638 --> 01:03:00,205
There was a body
under that truck.
1072
01:03:00,305 --> 01:03:02,040
[guy] That's when the
suspect left the scene
1073
01:03:02,141 --> 01:03:04,209
as well as the victim
on the side of the road.
1074
01:03:04,309 --> 01:03:07,146
It was ridiculous. I think
he gave me the thumbs up.
1075
01:03:07,246 --> 01:03:08,648
[Guy]
Vicki and Todd back to you.
1076
01:03:10,315 --> 01:03:11,316
[clears throat]
1077
01:03:11,684 --> 01:03:14,386
Me, oh, my, that is just...
1078
01:03:15,053 --> 01:03:16,188
bizarre.
1079
01:03:16,756 --> 01:03:18,090
- Yeah.
- You know?
1080
01:03:19,158 --> 01:03:22,528
Todd, that's the perfect word
to encapsulate
1081
01:03:22,628 --> 01:03:26,699
how I feel about that...
bizarre story.
1082
01:03:27,533 --> 01:03:29,601
- Thank you, Guy.
- Gruesome.
1083
01:03:30,169 --> 01:03:33,071
In other local news,
community church preschoolers
1084
01:03:33,172 --> 01:03:36,241
took a field trip to the
metropark's farm this morning.
1085
01:03:36,341 --> 01:03:38,577
But you're never going to guess
what the children learned
1086
01:03:38,678 --> 01:03:40,713
about this squirrel's nuts.
1087
01:03:40,814 --> 01:03:44,450
? No presents for Christmas
for us when we was growing up ?
1088
01:03:44,550 --> 01:03:48,220
? We don't celebrate holidays
on the block we posted up ?
1089
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,122
? They stuck them stuck them
stuck them back of the head ?
1090
01:03:50,222 --> 01:03:51,423
? Because they got no dough ?
1091
01:03:51,523 --> 01:03:54,026
Mayor McHenry currently
faces 12 counts
1092
01:03:54,126 --> 01:03:57,162
of corruption for his alleged
embezzlement of county funds,
1093
01:03:57,262 --> 01:04:00,332
and could face a maximum
of 12 years in state prison.
1094
01:04:00,432 --> 01:04:04,169
I guess now we know who to blame for
all those unfilled potholes around town.
1095
01:04:04,269 --> 01:04:07,506
- [host laughs]
- ? ...or what, ho, ho, ho ?
1096
01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:09,241
? I'm making myself
a wish list ?
1097
01:04:09,809 --> 01:04:11,510
You can't do this to me!
1098
01:04:12,110 --> 01:04:14,681
You got the wrong guy. [crying]
1099
01:04:14,781 --> 01:04:16,649
- I'm the mayor.
- Well, I'm running for the black guy.
1100
01:04:16,749 --> 01:04:18,450
Don't make me tase you, bro.
1101
01:04:19,418 --> 01:04:21,286
? I want more money
more bitches ?
1102
01:04:21,386 --> 01:04:22,988
? One who can suck it
and lick it ?
1103
01:04:23,088 --> 01:04:24,657
? And one who can cook
and wash dishes ?
1104
01:04:24,757 --> 01:04:28,093
[crying] I didn't...
I didn't do anything.
1105
01:04:29,461 --> 01:04:32,699
[crying] I'm a good,
I'm a good man.
1106
01:04:32,799 --> 01:04:34,433
[whistling]
1107
01:04:34,834 --> 01:04:39,104
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm sorry. [crying]
1108
01:04:41,373 --> 01:04:43,609
- Mama, I'm sorry!
- [man] Come on watch your step.
1109
01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:46,345
[mayor crying]
I didn't do it.
1110
01:04:47,112 --> 01:04:51,483
[cries and mumbles]
1111
01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:55,187
We will transfer juvies
to JDE in a bit.
1112
01:04:57,757 --> 01:05:02,060
The rest of you'un's stay put until
Judge Cheryl shows up tomorrow.
1113
01:05:05,163 --> 01:05:07,132
But with that being
the holiday and all...
1114
01:05:08,701 --> 01:05:09,802
Merry Christmas.
1115
01:05:18,477 --> 01:05:20,078
[crying]
1116
01:05:20,178 --> 01:05:22,114
[woman]
Hold my pocket.
1117
01:05:23,215 --> 01:05:24,316
Grandma?
1118
01:05:25,384 --> 01:05:27,252
I'm the mayor now!
1119
01:05:28,253 --> 01:05:31,256
? My name ring bells
hear jingle bells ?
1120
01:05:31,356 --> 01:05:34,426
? I'm dressed in all red
but I ain't Kris Kringle ?
1121
01:05:34,526 --> 01:05:36,261
? They hate me
they call me the Grinch ?
1122
01:05:36,361 --> 01:05:38,096
? I'm robbing your house
yeah, I'm hitting a lick ?
1123
01:05:38,196 --> 01:05:39,732
? I'm taking your presents
I'm taking your bitch ?
1124
01:05:39,832 --> 01:05:41,366
? Taking your tree
and I'm leaving you sick ?
1125
01:05:41,834 --> 01:05:45,337
[Sophia]
Next time in East Jesus, Ohio.
1126
01:05:45,437 --> 01:05:48,173
[water running]
1127
01:05:48,273 --> 01:05:50,743
[woman moans]
1128
01:05:50,843 --> 01:05:55,682
[woman] Oh, give it to me,
ah, oh yeah, give it to me.
1129
01:05:55,782 --> 01:05:59,351
Oh yeah, oh yeah!
1130
01:05:59,451 --> 01:06:04,089
Oh yeah, oh yeah, call me a pig.
1131
01:06:04,189 --> 01:06:07,092
[moans] Oh yeah, you filthy pig.
1132
01:06:07,192 --> 01:06:10,429
[woman moaning]
1133
01:06:11,330 --> 01:06:13,098
- Oh yeah, piggie.
- [knock on door]
1134
01:06:13,565 --> 01:06:14,634
Damn it!
1135
01:06:15,702 --> 01:06:18,170
- What?
- Hurry up in there.
1136
01:06:18,270 --> 01:06:19,772
It's Valentine's Day, damn it!
1137
01:06:20,272 --> 01:06:22,341
I got to get ready
for my big date,
1138
01:06:22,441 --> 01:06:24,142
and you're hogging
all the hot water,
1139
01:06:24,242 --> 01:06:25,210
you inconsiderate little prick!
1140
01:06:25,645 --> 01:06:28,447
[woman]
Oh yeah. [moans]
1141
01:06:29,381 --> 01:06:31,550
Oh yeah, piggie. [moans]
1142
01:06:34,219 --> 01:06:35,287
[moans]
1143
01:06:36,889 --> 01:06:38,357
[knock on door]
1144
01:06:41,293 --> 01:06:42,729
You beat off too much.
1145
01:06:42,829 --> 01:06:44,731
You're bound to go blind, son.
1146
01:06:44,831 --> 01:06:48,333
I should know, how do you
think I got these cataracts?
1147
01:06:54,606 --> 01:06:55,507
What the...
1148
01:06:55,607 --> 01:06:59,444
[dramatic music]
1149
01:07:29,474 --> 01:07:32,879
[upbeat music]
1150
01:08:41,047 --> 01:08:43,816
- All right, all right, all right.
- [director] Action.
1151
01:08:44,449 --> 01:08:46,284
[Sophia]
Just go away!
1152
01:08:46,686 --> 01:08:50,255
Okay. I was just
trying to help. Good God.
1153
01:08:50,555 --> 01:08:52,424
[stomach growls]
1154
01:08:54,359 --> 01:08:56,461
- [knock on door]
- How long you going to be in there?
1155
01:08:57,663 --> 01:08:59,866
I got to take the Browns
to the Superbowl.
1156
01:09:00,666 --> 01:09:02,702
I got to unloose the caboose.
1157
01:09:03,903 --> 01:09:04,670
[grunts]
1158
01:09:05,570 --> 01:09:07,572
I got to drop
the property value.
1159
01:09:08,674 --> 01:09:10,710
I got to launch the missiles!
1160
01:09:11,543 --> 01:09:12,912
I got to loose the cracking.
1161
01:09:13,713 --> 01:09:15,748
I got to drop a swamp pie.
1162
01:09:16,348 --> 01:09:18,583
I got to drop a baby otter.
1163
01:09:18,684 --> 01:09:22,487
Oh, I got to
churn some dookie butter. Oh.
1164
01:09:23,089 --> 01:09:25,557
It's dripping down my leg!
1165
01:09:26,558 --> 01:09:28,360
[laughing]
1166
01:09:28,460 --> 01:09:31,563
[upbeat music]
1167
01:10:18,410 --> 01:10:20,780
Okay, I could use a laugh.
1168
01:10:21,180 --> 01:10:23,582
What? I'm not funny.
1169
01:10:24,516 --> 01:10:25,852
Come at me, blondie.
1170
01:10:25,952 --> 01:10:26,953
[laughs]
1171
01:10:29,421 --> 01:10:32,524
You know how I lost
the weight, Krav Maga.
1172
01:10:32,624 --> 01:10:35,460
Yep, Jesus
knocked me up. [scoffs]
1173
01:10:36,863 --> 01:10:40,132
It must be my lucky day,
first I get some ass,
1174
01:10:40,233 --> 01:10:41,868
now I get to kick some ass.
1175
01:10:42,768 --> 01:10:45,137
I'm not 16 and pregnant.
1176
01:10:45,238 --> 01:10:49,507
Ah, you're cute, but I'm
about to make you real ugly.
1177
01:10:49,608 --> 01:10:51,043
Goddamn slut.
1178
01:10:52,144 --> 01:10:53,612
I hope you're hungry,
1179
01:10:53,713 --> 01:10:55,413
because you're about
to eat the pavement.
1180
01:10:55,513 --> 01:10:57,016
[chuckles] Aa!
1181
01:10:57,116 --> 01:10:59,018
I think it's that
time of the month
1182
01:10:59,118 --> 01:11:00,552
for me to kick your ass.
1183
01:11:00,820 --> 01:11:02,454
[laughs]
1184
01:11:02,554 --> 01:11:03,956
Now this feels dirty.
1185
01:11:04,056 --> 01:11:07,626
[upbeat music]
1186
01:11:15,835 --> 01:11:19,939
? It was the night before
Christmas Day ?
1187
01:11:20,039 --> 01:11:24,076
? And all the elves was busy
loading up the sleigh ?
1188
01:11:24,176 --> 01:11:27,847
? Jolly Santa was like
getting his kicks ?
1189
01:11:28,580 --> 01:11:32,385
? And some old reindeer
was like learning new tricks ?
1190
01:11:32,818 --> 01:11:35,922
? But one of the elves said
"Man, we got to go ?
1191
01:11:36,989 --> 01:11:41,160
? We're way behind
and it's beginning to snow" ?
1192
01:11:41,260 --> 01:11:45,463
? Just in Rudolph
with the bloody nose ?
1193
01:11:45,563 --> 01:11:49,735
? Come riding Santa with stains
and whiskey on his clothes ?
1194
01:11:49,835 --> 01:11:53,005
? Mrs. Clause says, "Santa, baby
now where you been all night? ?
1195
01:11:54,006 --> 01:11:57,609
? You got about 45 minutes
before the daylight" ?
1196
01:11:58,144 --> 01:12:01,681
? Big man grabbed his boots
Santa was on his way ?
1197
01:12:02,614 --> 01:12:06,518
? He started flying into JFK ?
1198
01:12:06,618 --> 01:12:10,756
? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ?
1199
01:12:11,857 --> 01:12:14,794
? Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ?
1200
01:12:15,828 --> 01:12:19,531
? And shiny jingle bells
was ringing ?
1201
01:12:19,632 --> 01:12:23,568
? And all the little children
they were singing ?
1202
01:12:23,669 --> 01:12:25,104
? Ho ?
1203
01:12:28,007 --> 01:12:31,509
? Then Santa pulled in
to New York town ?
1204
01:12:32,144 --> 01:12:35,881
? That customs agent
was weighing him down ?
1205
01:12:35,982 --> 01:12:39,752
? Said, "Mr. Clause your
passport is 100 years old" ?
1206
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:44,256
? Again off with you Santa
knock the man out cold ?
1207
01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:48,593
? Went to the city
told the CIA ?
1208
01:12:49,195 --> 01:12:52,798
? Santa creeped
and flea the USA ?
1209
01:12:53,565 --> 01:12:57,003
? Made his escape
and was riding real cool ?
1210
01:12:57,737 --> 01:13:01,874
? But they shot him down
over Istanbul ?
1211
01:13:01,974 --> 01:13:05,577
? And all the reindeer
started running around ?
1212
01:13:06,212 --> 01:13:10,216
? And all the toys was
broken laying on the ground ?
1213
01:13:10,316 --> 01:13:14,153
? Santa ran to the nearest house
and he bust down the door ?
1214
01:13:14,787 --> 01:13:18,224
? Which is where he passed out
upon the floor ?
1215
01:13:18,324 --> 01:13:22,962
? Said, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ?
1216
01:13:24,030 --> 01:13:26,899
? Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ?
1217
01:13:28,034 --> 01:13:31,704
? And shining jingle bells
was ringing ?
1218
01:13:31,804 --> 01:13:35,808
? And all the little children
they were singing ?
1219
01:13:35,908 --> 01:13:37,777
? Ho ?
1220
01:13:40,146 --> 01:13:43,849
? And Santa woke up
on Christmas Day ?
1221
01:13:44,616 --> 01:13:48,020
? He ran around
and was laughing all the way ?
1222
01:13:48,788 --> 01:13:52,291
? Santa Clause like
a fat, foolish elf ?
1223
01:13:53,025 --> 01:13:56,729
? And realized that
he had shot himself ?
1224
01:13:57,163 --> 01:14:01,300
? He bought a ticket
on the train ?
1225
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:05,137
? And with a little pride
that remained ?
1226
01:14:05,738 --> 01:14:09,141
? He shouted
and he gave such a fright ?
1227
01:14:09,975 --> 01:14:13,345
? Merry Christmas
and have a good night ?
1228
01:14:13,446 --> 01:14:18,017
? And ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ?
1229
01:14:19,218 --> 01:14:22,587
? Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ?
1230
01:14:23,089 --> 01:14:26,926
? And shining jingle bells
was ringing ?
1231
01:14:27,026 --> 01:14:30,763
? And all the little children
they were still singing ?
1232
01:14:30,863 --> 01:14:32,131
? Ho ?
1233
01:14:44,143 --> 01:14:47,813
[woman moaning]
Oh, my God, oh, oh, my God!
1234
01:14:47,913 --> 01:14:49,715
Mary mother of God!
1235
01:14:50,349 --> 01:14:52,084
Oh, for heaven's sake!
1236
01:14:52,751 --> 01:14:54,086
Sweet Jesus!
1237
01:14:54,186 --> 01:14:55,855
Holy moly!
1238
01:14:55,955 --> 01:14:57,256
Holy mackerel!
1239
01:14:58,224 --> 01:14:59,859
Holy Toledo!
1240
01:15:00,693 --> 01:15:01,894
Holy shit!
1241
01:15:01,994 --> 01:15:03,295
[woman moaning]
Oh, my God!
1242
01:15:03,395 --> 01:15:06,031
Oh, oh, oh, my God!
1243
01:15:06,132 --> 01:15:07,166
Oh, amen!
1244
01:15:07,266 --> 01:15:10,769
[Christmas music]
1245
01:15:15,241 --> 01:15:19,011
? Jingle bells what's that smell
better stay out of my way ?
1246
01:15:19,111 --> 01:15:21,147
? And if you don't
I'll take your phone ?
1247
01:15:21,247 --> 01:15:23,215
? And punch you
in the face, hey ?
1248
01:15:23,315 --> 01:15:26,685
? Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
1249
01:15:26,785 --> 01:15:30,422
? I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ?
1250
01:15:31,223 --> 01:15:35,060
? Jingle bells what's that smell
better stay out of my way ?
1251
01:15:35,161 --> 01:15:37,129
? And if you don't
I take your phone ?
1252
01:15:37,229 --> 01:15:39,165
? And punch you
in the face, hey ?
1253
01:15:39,265 --> 01:15:42,768
? Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
1254
01:15:42,868 --> 01:15:46,805
? I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ?
1255
01:15:47,306 --> 01:15:50,976
? Strumming through the snow
on a street this Christmas Day ?
1256
01:15:51,076 --> 01:15:53,078
? What time's
the pawn shop close ?
1257
01:15:53,179 --> 01:15:55,047
? Pulled up I'm on my way ?
1258
01:15:55,147 --> 01:15:59,185
? Got a 40 in my hand
throwing shit up in my sack ?
1259
01:15:59,285 --> 01:16:03,155
? Hope I don't get caught again
or jail I'm going back ?
1260
01:16:03,255 --> 01:16:04,990
? I see when you're asleep ?
1261
01:16:05,090 --> 01:16:06,992
? I see when you're awake ?
1262
01:16:07,092 --> 01:16:10,930
? But if you try and stop me
you'll make a big mistake ?
1263
01:16:11,030 --> 01:16:12,932
? Down the chimney
I will slide ?
1264
01:16:13,032 --> 01:16:15,167
? On a cold and snowy night ?
1265
01:16:15,267 --> 01:16:19,071
? Taking all your gifts
and, bitch, I'm out of sight ?
1266
01:16:19,171 --> 01:16:21,273
? Out of sight ?
1267
01:16:25,344 --> 01:16:26,845
? Bitch, I'm out of sight ?
1268
01:16:26,946 --> 01:16:28,280
? Out of sight ?
1269
01:16:33,085 --> 01:16:35,221
? Bitch, I'm out of sight ?
1270
01:16:35,321 --> 01:16:39,091
? Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out of my way ?
1271
01:16:39,191 --> 01:16:41,093
? And you don't
I take your phone ?
1272
01:16:41,193 --> 01:16:43,162
? And punch you
in the face, hey ?
1273
01:16:43,262 --> 01:16:46,498
? Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
1274
01:16:46,599 --> 01:16:50,869
? I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ?
1275
01:16:51,270 --> 01:16:55,140
? Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out of my way ?
1276
01:16:55,241 --> 01:16:57,042
? And if you don't
I take your phone ?
1277
01:16:57,142 --> 01:16:59,211
? And punch you
in the face, hey ?
1278
01:16:59,311 --> 01:17:02,481
? Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
1279
01:17:02,581 --> 01:17:06,720
? I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ?
1280
01:17:07,219 --> 01:17:09,088
? Don't work at the mall ?
1281
01:17:09,188 --> 01:17:11,190
? These jells
can suck my balls ?
1282
01:17:11,290 --> 01:17:15,060
? Go ahead and stare
I'll, bitch, slap all you all ?
1283
01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:17,029
? Your kids ain't getting shit ?
1284
01:17:17,129 --> 01:17:18,998
? They're little
naughty pricks ?
1285
01:17:19,098 --> 01:17:22,801
? And your address is next
here on my shopping list ?
1286
01:17:22,901 --> 01:17:24,803
? I take my cookies
with some weed ?
1287
01:17:24,903 --> 01:17:26,972
? Your tobacco is all I need ?
1288
01:17:27,072 --> 01:17:29,008
? Get that shit out of my face ?
1289
01:17:29,108 --> 01:17:31,076
? Because they don't
know how to read ?
1290
01:17:31,176 --> 01:17:33,045
? It's freezing cold out here ?
1291
01:17:33,145 --> 01:17:35,014
? Can't afford
no damn rain gear ?
1292
01:17:35,114 --> 01:17:36,548
? But even though I'm broke ?
1293
01:17:36,650 --> 01:17:38,817
? Your joke is the favorite
time of year ?
1294
01:17:55,267 --> 01:17:59,071
? Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out my way ?
1295
01:17:59,171 --> 01:18:01,040
? And if you don't
I take your phone ?
1296
01:18:01,140 --> 01:18:03,208
? And punch you
in the face, hey ?
1297
01:18:03,309 --> 01:18:06,545
? Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
1298
01:18:06,646 --> 01:18:10,849
? I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ?
1299
01:18:11,250 --> 01:18:15,120
? Jingle bells what's that smell
you best stay out my way ?
1300
01:18:15,220 --> 01:18:17,122
? And if you don't
I'll take your phone ?
1301
01:18:17,222 --> 01:18:19,224
? And punch you
in the face, hey ?
1302
01:18:19,325 --> 01:18:22,828
? Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ?
1303
01:18:22,928 --> 01:18:26,865
? I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ?
1304
01:18:29,301 --> 01:18:32,471
? Worst Christmas ever ?
1305
01:18:34,273 --> 01:18:36,241
[laughing]
1306
01:18:37,309 --> 01:18:40,913
? God, I'm taking
all your shit ?
1307
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:43,282
? What, what, what, what, what ?
1308
01:18:43,949 --> 01:18:46,352
- [gun fires]
- [Trey] Oh, shit!
1309
01:18:46,452 --> 01:18:48,987
You shot me in the dick!
1310
01:18:49,088 --> 01:18:51,290
My willy!
1311
01:18:51,390 --> 01:18:53,325
My wee-wee!
1312
01:18:53,425 --> 01:18:55,494
My ding-dong!
1313
01:18:55,594 --> 01:18:58,330
My tommy whacker!
1314
01:18:58,430 --> 01:19:02,267
My wang, my bologny bony!
1315
01:19:03,168 --> 01:19:05,104
My little Trey Trey.
1316
01:19:05,204 --> 01:19:09,975
[laughing]
1317
01:19:10,101 --> 01:19:15,101
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
98384
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof