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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:06,966
(thunder)
2
00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:10,679
(whistling tune)
3
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,852
(whistling continues)
4
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,440
(thunder rumbles)
5
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,109
- MAN: Professor Barkley,
run it past me again.
6
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,196
- BARKLEY: Soldier scans
the skies above ground,
7
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:32,952
they alert us to
the air raid.
8
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,503
we fire up the Abexitron
and jam their communications.
9
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,409
The Gerrys won't know
right from left.
10
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,957
- Won't it interfere with
our own radios?
11
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,210
- No, it'll only block
the frequency it's sent to.
12
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:46,054
- What Hitler wouldn't give
to get his filthy Nazi mitts
on this.
13
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,773
(whistling tune)
14
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,769
(thunder)
15
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,475
Good God.
16
00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,902
Come on, Professor Barkley,
pick up.
17
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,279
(engines roaring)
18
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,743
One, five, nine, seven.
19
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:17,624
- One, five, nine, seven.
- One, five, nine, seven.
20
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,833
- Is this a test?
- No, this is the real thing!
21
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,874
- (siren blaring)
- This is the real--
22
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,078
(screaming)
23
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:29,008
- (screaming)
- (ticking)
24
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,929
- Is it meant to do that?
25
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,428
(siren blaring)
26
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,800
- Private Atkins?
Private Atkins?
27
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:37,927
Alfie? Are you there?
28
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,225
(indistinct radio transmission)
29
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,645
- One, five, nine, seven.
- Alfie?
30
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,235
Professor!
31
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,570
- ...nine, seven.
32
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,065
One, five, nine, seven.
33
00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,039
(siren blaring)
34
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,908
- One, five, nine, seven.
35
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,713
One, five, nine, seven.
36
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,795
♪♪
37
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:24,020
(gasp)
38
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,154
(panting)
39
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,745
- Okay, I don't think
I'm ready for this.
40
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,832
- You could've just had toast.
- No, not the breakfast,
41
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,457
what happened at
Miss Connelly's.
42
00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,634
- Elton, I've been
a paranormal investigator
43
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,093
for 20 years.
44
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,132
I've never seen anything
like we saw yesterday.
45
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,716
The spirit dog,
number five.
46
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,052
This could finally get me
into "The White Sheet."
47
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:03,268
- What's "The White Sheets?"
- No, no, no, "The White
Sheets" is a Neo Nazi magazine.
48
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,770
"The White Sheet" is a magazine
about the paranormal.
49
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,563
Two very different things.
Never the twain shall meet.
50
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,437
Unless, of course,
you count the time
51
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,654
someone spotted the ghost of
Reichsmarschall Hermann Göring
52
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,106
up on Tulse Hill.
53
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,485
Yeah, it set the
paranormal world on fire.
54
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:21,544
♪♪
55
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,369
- GUS: You ready for
your second day?
56
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,207
- I'm not ready for
my first day.
57
00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,343
Uhh...
58
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,387
- GUS: Here we go.
59
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,023
- A crisp?
- What flavor?
60
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,061
- Uh, prawn cocktail.
- Ugh, no.
61
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,475
- Suit yourself. Mm.
62
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,824
(engine starts)
63
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,897
- ELTON:
Listen, can we not have
another day like yesterday?
64
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,446
- GUS: Relax. It's not like
every place we go
65
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,739
is gonna be haunted.
66
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,372
- Sorry. Did you say haunted?
67
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,989
- I did. Yes.
68
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,446
Britain's most haunted
three-star hotel,
69
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,076
The Portland Beacon.
70
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,253
Now, I thought that might
peak your interest, Gus.
71
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,382
- It's nothing but a cheap
tourist draw, believe me.
72
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,089
I-- I've looked into it.
73
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,959
- (chuckles) Thorough as ever.
74
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,336
That is why you are my
number one installer, Gus.
75
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,473
- Ah, mea culpa.
76
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:24,715
- And you, mister,
are my number... 28?
77
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,388
- Not-- Not bad.
- (phone rings)
78
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,937
I have to take this
because, uh,
79
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,610
I'm breaking in
a new assistant.
80
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,399
- Take the day off, Dave.
You're never not here, are you?
81
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,572
- (chuckles)
Get out of here.
82
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,411
Hello, Smyle,
Dave speaking.
83
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,989
(distortion)
84
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,834
Hello?
85
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:44,949
(distortion)
86
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,035
Hello-- Bjorn,
this has got--
87
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:49,871
Bjorn. Bloody-- Bjorn!
88
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,300
- There's no way this dump
is a three-star.
89
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,843
- This is my home.
90
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,388
- Oh... It's nice.
91
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,226
- ELTON: You see, it's nicer
when you get close.
92
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,476
- GUS: Just want to
show you something inside.
93
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,648
- Can I walk on the grass?
- No.
94
00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:22,567
♪♪
95
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,547
- Elton.
96
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,589
♪♪
97
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,597
- Elton.
98
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,059
- Hm?
- Hey, look at that.
99
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,980
"The White Sheet."
100
00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:51,889
Okay, read this.
101
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,855
- "The Portland Beacon is
a horror-themed dump.
102
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,743
"Zero ghosts,
but plenty of bedbugs.
103
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,821
- One ghoul."
There's a ghoul?
- (door opens)
104
00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,277
- No, no, they use
a five ghoul rating system.
105
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,827
This is not gonna be another
Connelly's Nook, okay?
106
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:15,210
- Who's this?
- Elton John.
107
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:18,592
- Don't be facetious.
- Dad, he's my new partner.
108
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,920
- That.
109
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:26,256
- So, uh, you off out again?
- Yes, yeah. Just off to work.
110
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,595
While I'm out,
will you not go in my study?
111
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,020
- It's not a study,
it's the bloody dining room!
112
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,731
Anyway, I never come in here.
113
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,271
- You say that, but sometimes
when I come back,
114
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,194
everything's kind of been
touched and moved some.
115
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,982
- Oh, well,
maybe it's a ghost.
116
00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:43,319
♪♪
117
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,469
- (screeching)
- (static)
118
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,099
(birds chirping)
119
00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,767
- ELTON: Your dad seems nice.
120
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,187
- GUS: He's not nice,
he's horrible.
121
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:24,355
- ELTON: (chuckles)
- GUS: No, seriously.
122
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,034
(engine starts)
123
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,910
♪♪
124
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,383
MAN: (on radio)
125
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:53,139
One, five, nine, seven.
126
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:56,273
- Yeah, remind me again.
Where are you from?
127
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,311
- Uh, Norfolk. Why?
- Huh. Norfolk.
128
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,856
Just, uh,
I hope you don't mind,
129
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,279
I did a little online search
on you last night.
130
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,068
Not many Elton Johns.
131
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,492
Hell, there's only one other.
None in Norfolk.
132
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:10,451
- Ha. I'm not really on
social media, so--
133
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,082
- Well, you're not-- not
really on anywhere, are you?
134
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,199
- (chuckles) No.
135
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,577
Who was that woman in
the picture?
136
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,584
- It was, uh, my wife, Emily.
137
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,377
- She looks nice.
Love to meet her.
138
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,052
- She died.
139
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,670
- Oh. Sorry, man.
140
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,798
Sorry.
141
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,600
What happened?
142
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,680
- It's complicated.
143
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:39,516
- MAN: (on radio)
One, five, nine, seven.
- (phone rings)
144
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,153
- Helie? What's wrong?
145
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,070
- My costume for CovCo CosCon.
146
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,228
It's next week and
it's not even ready yet.
147
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,647
- Okay, Helie,
what'd you need?
148
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,735
- A plunger.
149
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,450
- You haven't blocked
the toilet again, have you?
150
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,950
- For my costume.
151
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,742
- Oh, come on, Helen.
152
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,735
Try going to the shop,
it's only a couple doors down.
153
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,117
- Yeah, right, yeah.
Just send the agoraphobe
154
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,664
down a busy High Street.
155
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,417
Oh, yeah, look out for me
on the news tonight.
156
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,249
- Okay, I'll get it.
I'll get it.
157
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,544
- Okay. Okay.
158
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,708
- Bye.
159
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,337
- Is that your wife?
160
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,764
- Ugh, no, it's my sister.
161
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,842
- She okay?
- Yeah.
162
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:16,008
She's quite an anxious person.
A bit fragile.
163
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,678
And angry.
164
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,516
She hasn't always
been like that, though.
165
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,811
- What happened?
166
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,685
- It's complicated.
167
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,112
♪♪
168
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,991
- GUS: Behold,
The Portland Beacon.
169
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,778
A ministry of defense research
and development facility
170
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,362
during the second world war.
171
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:35,197
Now a seaside sideshow
for weekend horror dinks.
172
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,834
- ELTON: So you're sure
it's not haunted?
173
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,621
- GUS:
Have to be pretty gullible
to be taken in by this place.
174
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,747
Ah.
175
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,298
(bell dings)
176
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:51,974
- Hello?
177
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,639
Hello?
178
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,363
Are you looking for ghosts?
179
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,481
- Wifi viability.
180
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:10,608
- Oh.
181
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:23,285
- Ahh!
- (man laughing)
182
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,337
Hello, welcome.
I am Jack,
183
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,134
proprietor of
The Portland Beacon,
184
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,097
the only horror themed hotel
on Dorset's Jurassic Coast.
185
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,769
What do you think of the old
eye in the painting gag?
186
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,518
- That-- That's new.
- Very good.
187
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,600
- Good-- Good fun.
- Oh, right. Of course.
188
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:47,555
- Lovely. Hello, uh,
my name is Gus Roberts.
189
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,567
I'm from Smyle.
190
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,317
Yeah, we're here to fix
your broadband.
191
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,992
- Oh.
- Be great if I could see
your router.
192
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:56,661
- Oh. There it is.
- Ahh.
193
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,120
That is an SMR430.
194
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,871
I mean, in theory,
you could beam a signal through
195
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,252
eight inches of solid lead.
196
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,789
- Yeah, well,
that's why we got it.
197
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,372
This place has never
had a signal.
198
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,747
You know, people we took over
from had the same issue.
199
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,424
Kind of been using mobile.
200
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,213
- Well, let's see if
we can't find out why.
201
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,586
- Righty-O.
I shall give you the tour.
202
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,473
- Oh, uh, no need.
- Follow me.
203
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,767
♪♪
204
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,554
"Perished loved ones who are
unable to break the tie
205
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,128
between the world of
the living and the..."
206
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,223
(chair powering down)
207
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,604
- (sighs)
208
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,311
♪♪
209
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:16,322
Oh, no. Don't go into
my study.
210
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,373
Ah, what's all this rubbish?
211
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,868
It's my house too, you know.
212
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,997
Oh, yeah.
213
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:38,337
Ahh! Yaah!
214
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,425
(growling)
215
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:50,518
- So, this is
the Amityville Lounge.
216
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,524
Don't have any food in here.
The flies love it.
217
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,397
- What's that about?
218
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:58,784
- Oh, yeah, room two.
Yeah, we don't let guests
stay in there.
219
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,452
Too dangerous.
220
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,570
Something to do with
the wiring, we think.
221
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,737
It's always freezing in there.
222
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,076
Anything you touch,
you get shocked.
223
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:10,332
Weird bumps and noises
all night.
224
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,325
- You sure it's not haunted?
225
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,627
- (chuckles) Oh. Yeah, well,
that'd be ironic, wouldn't it?
226
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,381
The only room in the hotel
that is haunted,
227
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,883
and we can't let the guests
stay in there.
228
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,594
(laughs) Come on.
229
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,730
Room 237.
It's a twin.
230
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,034
Nightmare on Elm Suite.
231
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,531
And over here, we have
the Psycho room.
232
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:50,294
- Ha.
- GUS: Read about this place.
233
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,832
There is absolutely
no signal at all.
234
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,917
Rest assured, sir,
I shall crack this nut.
235
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,132
Oh, wonderful.
Cup of tea?
236
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,513
- Yes, please.
- Yeah.
237
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,629
- Make 'em a tea, love.
238
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,762
- Love?
- (screams)
239
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,104
- Oh, sorry,
this is my wife, Wendy.
240
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,720
- You've ruined the scare now,
haven't you?
241
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,477
- Just get the kettle on.
- You do it.
242
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,939
- Right-O.
- Stupid.
243
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:24,452
- Okay, I would like you to
take this signal tester,
244
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,951
go back to the Psycho room,
and prepare to run the test.
245
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,703
- Alone?
- Not alone.
246
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,326
Your walkie-talkie.
247
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,214
You're never really alone
with a walkie-talkie.
248
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,421
- Okay.
- Bye.
249
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,171
(radio beeps)
250
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,923
All right.
(sighs)
251
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,264
- Oh--
252
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,301
(sighs)
253
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,032
- MAN: (on radio) Help--
254
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,164
- (radio beeps)
- Gus, is that you?
255
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,991
- O-- Over.
- (radio beeps)
256
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,036
(static)
257
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:19,086
♪♪
258
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,749
- MAN: That--
- (gasps)
259
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,507
- That one's locked,
I'm afraid.
260
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,550
- Uh, yes. I'm looking for
the Psycho room.
261
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:30,005
- Oh, well, that's down there
on the right.
262
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,310
I'm Byron, the caretaker.
263
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,271
Are you staying with us?
264
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,192
- Oh, no, no, I'm just here
to fix the internet.
265
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,571
The signal is being blocked
for some reason.
266
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,229
Maybe something's jamming it.
267
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:44,985
- Something like what?
268
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,700
- (chuckles) Daft if I know.
269
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:48,821
Toodle-oo.
270
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,790
- (radio beeps)
- Elton, can you confirm
you are in position,
271
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,383
and ready to run the test.
Over.
272
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,878
- (radio beeps)
- (static)
273
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,961
- Papa Bear to Little Bird,
come back.
274
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,733
(electronic tune playing)
275
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,573
- (radio beeps)
- Elton, come back to
Papa Bear. Over.
276
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,113
- (radio beeps)
277
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:32,986
- MAN: (on radio)
One, five, nine, seven.
278
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,866
- ELTON: Gus!
- (radio beeps)
279
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,003
- Elton, where have you got to?
- (radio beeps)
280
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,080
- ELTON: Gus-- (distorted)
281
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,575
- Say again, where are you?
282
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,667
- ELTON: Room two.
Room two. He-- Ah!
283
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,843
Gus, help!
284
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,381
- Stay there, I'm on my way.
285
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,007
Elton.
286
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,178
- Elton.
- (Elton screaming)
287
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,976
- Elton. Hang on, mate.
288
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,399
I'm just gonna find that idiot
to come and open the door, okay?
289
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,898
- Everything all right?
- (gasps) Yeah, yeah.
290
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,231
Just-- Just thinkin--
thinkin' about you.
291
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,936
You couldn't open this door
for us, could you?
292
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,856
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
Can't let you in there.
293
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,445
- Eh, it's all right.
We're not customers.
294
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,531
It's not an act.
It's all for safety.
295
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,117
- Listen. Right now,
you're essentially
296
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,213
holding a private
contractor hostage.
297
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,539
I've seen this kind of
situation blow up real quick.
298
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,084
Open the door.
299
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,418
(keys jangling)
300
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,674
Well done.
We're comin' in, mate.
301
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,136
I'll take it from here.
302
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,970
(light switch clicks)
303
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,596
- JACK: Light's not workin'.
304
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,063
Well, it works but
bulbs kept blowing,
305
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,194
so, uh, we took 'em all out.
306
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,228
- GUS: Elton?
307
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,493
- Are you sure he's in here?
308
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,661
Because we always keep
this room locked.
309
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,156
- Elton?
310
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,288
Elton?
311
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,804
Huh.
312
00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,089
(screaming)
313
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,382
(gasping)
314
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:13,335
(breathing heavily)
315
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,716
- GUS: What the bloody hell
are you doing?
316
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:20,596
GUS: (in video)
Welcome, viewer, to
the Truth Seeker.
317
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,063
You join me here in a place
318
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,154
I've come to know as
Connelly's Nook...
319
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,440
- Oh, please.
320
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:28,443
- ...to solve the mystery...
321
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,395
- Pretentious nonsense.
322
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,985
- GUS: (in video)
Join me if you dare.
323
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:35,571
- Shawshank.
- (chiming)
324
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:39,197
- Hm. Must be friends.
Hell's bells tells.
325
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:44,575
- To finish off,
to go full Arnie,
326
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:46,626
gonna us some eye drops.
327
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,709
Okay? Get a nice chunk
of that in there.
328
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,256
Whoop, see the color?
Then you just...
329
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,881
pop it into your eye...
330
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,638
like this.
331
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,970
- Ah, there we go.
- Ooh.
332
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,926
- HELEN: Nice and easy.
333
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:05,556
One of the reasons I like
spending time on make-up
334
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,475
is because you're
lookin' in the mirror,
335
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:11,395
and it's like you're havin'
a conversation with yourself.
336
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:16,914
So in a way, I'm being
sociable... with me.
337
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,580
- Hm.
- HELEN: Done.
338
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,328
- I know what you mean.
- HELEN: Nice and easy.
339
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,910
- I talk to myself sometimes.
- HELEN: And that is nice.
340
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,340
(static)
341
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,129
Look out!
342
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,672
HELEN: (as Schwarzenegger)
I'll be back next week.
343
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:33,715
Bye.
344
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,854
- GUS: Why did you
go into room two?
345
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,556
- The door opened.
I thought I heard something.
346
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:50,767
- Heard what?
347
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:58,278
- (whistling tune)
348
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:02,084
- Yeah.
- The Lincolnshire Poacher.
349
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,910
When you were in there,
350
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,495
I heard the numbers
1, 5, 9, 7
351
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,920
come through
on the walkie-talkie.
352
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,578
- Wh-- What are you saying?
353
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,707
- I'm saying it's time to get
the exospector.
354
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,842
- I just don't want to
go back in there.
355
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,965
- Something is not right.
356
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,472
We need to find out
what it is.
357
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,263
- Why?
358
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,597
- We're truth seekers.
- No, you're a truth seeker.
359
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:25,982
I'm Elton John.
360
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,780
(gasping)
361
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,542
- All right, all right,
you're hyperventilating.
362
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,832
Shh, shh, calm.
363
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,376
Breathe into this bag.
Just breathe.
364
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,460
Slowly, there might be
crisps in there.
365
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,585
- (gagging)
- (chuckles) Oh, just chew.
366
00:20:57,674 --> 00:21:00,844
Chew through it. Yeah.
367
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,177
- (breathing heavily)
They taste quite nice.
368
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,012
Yeah, prawn cocktail.
My guilty pleasure.
369
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,808
(instrument beeping)
370
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,267
This bloody thing.
371
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,404
I'm gonna go out to the van
and pop a fresh open, I think.
372
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:14,731
- No.
- You'll be fine.
373
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,658
(deep breaths)
374
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,294
- I remember this room.
- (gasps)
375
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:31,371
- I used to come in here
and read my favorite book
376
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:34,337
for hours and hours.
377
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:37,259
I wonder if it's still here.
378
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,716
Why, yes.
There it is.
379
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:50,313
(chuckles)
380
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,483
- Gus!
381
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,865
Gus!
382
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:04,988
- GUS: That's better.
383
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,905
What did you do?
384
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,955
- I didn't,
the old man did it.
385
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,366
- What old man?
386
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,748
- Uh, Byron.
387
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,376
- Ha.
388
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,383
- Well, that solves the mystery
of the secret door.
389
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,585
Shall we go home now?
390
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,884
- Get the camera.
You ready?
391
00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:25,342
Here we go.
392
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,524
(singsongy)
Hello, ghosts.
393
00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,363
- GUS: You all right?
- ELTON: Yeah, yeah.
394
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,696
- GUS: I bet you
what's down here...
395
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:47,081
whatever it is, is causing
room two to go haywire.
396
00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:48,988
- ELTON: What is this place?
397
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,157
- I don't know.
Let's find out.
398
00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:51,584
- You rolling?
- ELTON: Yeah.
399
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,286
- Oh, let's see now.
400
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,915
- ELTON: Ahh! Shittin' hell.
401
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,883
- GUS:
He must have been down here
since the second world war.
402
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:03,263
- Okay. Goodness.
Go back and call the police.
403
00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:04,221
- Oh, why?
404
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,140
- We just found a dead body.
405
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,639
- That's not a body.
It's meatless.
406
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,390
This is a skeleton,
poor bugger.
407
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,852
- Shh.
- (electronic tune playing)
408
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:15,524
- You hear that?
- Huh?
409
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:16,813
- It's coming from in there.
410
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:21,567
(electronic tune continues)
411
00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:23,241
- That's a military door.
412
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,109
Naval, 1940's
by the looks of it.
413
00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:28,236
- Don't tell me you were a
submarine commander one weekend.
414
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,374
- Cleaner in
the Imperial War Museum.
415
00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:38,285
(door creaks)
416
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:47,340
(electronic tune playing)
417
00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:52,307
- GUS: How are these lights on?
418
00:23:54,851 --> 00:23:56,271
- MAN: Get back!
- (gasps)
419
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,232
- MAN: You Nazi scum!
- ELTON: Who said that?
420
00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,312
MAN: Thought you could
sneak up on me, didn't you?
421
00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:03,778
One, five, nine, seven.
422
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,490
- One, five, nine, seven.
- It's this machine.
423
00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:06,990
- ELTON: Sounds like a man,
not a machine.
424
00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:08,951
MAN: Uh,
the joke's on you, Fritz.
425
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:11,451
I've only got to initiate
the self-destruct protocols,
426
00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:14,254
and you two
Gerry bastards are toast.
427
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:17,668
- Hey, we're not Gerrys.
- Or bastards.
428
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:19,328
MAN: Prove it.
429
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:22,587
- My name is Gus Roberts,
I'm 47 years old,
430
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:25,170
and I'm a field engineer
from Sussex.
431
00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:26,796
This is my colleague,
Mr. Elton John.
432
00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:28,433
- MAN: And where are you from?
433
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:29,759
- Leicestershire.
434
00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:33,064
- (electronic tune playing)
- (ticking)
435
00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:40,193
- One, five, nine, seven.
436
00:24:40,271 --> 00:24:42,821
MAN: Air raid!
This is not a test!
437
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,740
- This is a number station.
438
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:48,398
I've been listening to
this machine for 20 years.
439
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,157
MAN: I have to jam
the German communications,
440
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,739
I have to stop
their air raids.
441
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,294
- Listen. I read a book
442
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:56,538
by a man called
Dr. Peter Toynbee,
443
00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:58,661
and in it, he theorized that
444
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:01,628
the human soul could
transport into other things,
445
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,209
places, people, objects.
446
00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,054
I think this is what
we're looking at here.
447
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,383
Can you tell me your name?
448
00:25:11,302 --> 00:25:14,012
- MAN: Atkins, Alfred.
449
00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,306
Private, home guard.
450
00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:17,930
And that's all your getting.
451
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:20,597
- Tell me, how did you get into
this machine, Alfie?
452
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:24,186
ATKINS: I was on
the clock tower.
453
00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:26,823
There was a storm.
Uh, a German squadron,
454
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,401
the lightning struck.
455
00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:31,856
- (thunder)
- (screaming)
456
00:25:31,948 --> 00:25:36,408
ATKINS:
So hot and-- and bright.
457
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:41,754
- The power from the lightning
transferred his soul...
458
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:43,632
inside this machine.
459
00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:46,090
Toynbee was right.
460
00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:48,210
- ATKINS: Mustn't
let them communicate.
461
00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:51,507
- He's not just jamming
the obsolete radio signals.
462
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:53,182
He's jamming everything.
463
00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:54,431
Wifi, 6G.
464
00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:57,972
This is the source of
our signal problem.
465
00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:01,437
If we can somehow
convince him to move on.
466
00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:04,649
I think--
I think he'll help us.
467
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:06,730
- How the hell do we do that?
468
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:09,436
- We have to prove that
the second world war is over.
469
00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:16,204
- Um... Private Atkins,
can you see us?
470
00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:18,744
ATKINS:
Of course I can see you.
471
00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:20,958
- Look at the date
on this packet of crisps.
472
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,752
- ATKINS: Prawn cocktail.
473
00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:27,545
What kind of a future is this?
474
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,798
- Oh, no, they're a lot nicer
than they sound, I promise.
475
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,590
And, let's face it,
you'd be hard pushed
476
00:26:31,674 --> 00:26:34,764
to find a pink bag of crisps
under a fascist dictatorship.
477
00:26:34,844 --> 00:26:36,554
- (laughs)
478
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,307
- ATKINS: Well?
479
00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:39,849
- Dude, look at me.
480
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:43,892
Do you really think
I'm a Nazi? This?
481
00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:47,148
- ATKINS: So we won?
We defeated the fascists?
482
00:26:47,231 --> 00:26:49,981
- Mm... there's still a few.
483
00:26:50,067 --> 00:26:51,607
There's this weird magazine
called "The White Sheets,"
484
00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:54,454
- it's race--
- Oh, that's--
485
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:57,410
We won.
486
00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,991
Hitler lost, he killed himself
in his bunker.
487
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:03,537
The coward.
Not like you, son.
488
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,752
You did your duty.
489
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:08,793
And in my eyes, that makes you
a friggin' hero.
490
00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:11,628
- ATKINS: Am I?
491
00:27:11,714 --> 00:27:14,344
'Cause I--
I was so worried that I'd
let Professor Barkley down.
492
00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:18,715
- Whoever this professor is,
you made him proud.
493
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,394
You made us all proud, kid.
494
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:25,138
Hey. Maybe it's time
you went home.
495
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,820
- ATKINS:
There's a door, actually.
496
00:27:35,696 --> 00:27:37,236
It wasn't here before.
497
00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:39,833
- Maybe you should
go through it.
498
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,500
- ATKINS: Permission
to be dismissed.
499
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:47,504
- Private Atkins,
500
00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:50,423
permission is
most definitely granted.
501
00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:54,343
♪♪
502
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,433
(powering down)
503
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:00,760
- Alfie?
504
00:28:02,765 --> 00:28:03,885
(switch clicks)
505
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:06,734
- Alfie?
- He's gone. Yeah?
506
00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:08,401
(phone chimes)
507
00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:10,899
- Well, looks like
the signal's back up.
508
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:13,821
- Oh. It's Helen.
- What's she want?
509
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,529
- The plunger.
510
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,490
(beeping)
511
00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:30,498
- (chuckles)
Oh, Gus, you little beauty.
512
00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:34,875
- GUS: All right, well,
I don't think you'll be having
513
00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:36,884
any more problems
with your wifi.
514
00:28:36,966 --> 00:28:39,756
I've run a test and
you're pulling down
100 megabits per second,
515
00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:41,934
and that is consistent
throughout the whole hotel.
516
00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,932
- Well, that's amazing.
Thanks very much.
517
00:28:44,014 --> 00:28:45,774
- And, uh, any problems
you were having with room two
518
00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,520
I think have probably
abated as well.
519
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:50,561
- Eh, maybe we can finally
turn it into something scary.
520
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:53,066
- Oh, could you say goodbye
to Byron for me?
521
00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:55,149
- Who's Byron?
522
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:56,324
- The caretaker.
523
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,705
- Oh, you mean Mr. Barkley.
524
00:29:08,789 --> 00:29:11,419
He's been here forever.
Came with the hotel.
525
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,130
Got amnesia, didn't he,
during the war.
526
00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:15,421
- Yeah, the second world one.
527
00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:17,474
- So he's not a ghost.
- (chuckles)
528
00:29:17,548 --> 00:29:19,048
- 'Course he's not a ghost.
529
00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:20,433
There's no such thing
as ghosts.
530
00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:23,349
- Well... (chuckles)
Bye-bye.
531
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:24,469
- All the best.
532
00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:28,767
- ELTON: Just be a minute.
- Bloody hell is he going?
533
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,944
(whistling tune)
534
00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:38,438
- Hey. Can I ask?
How much for that plunger?
535
00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:42,277
- Hm? Oh. (chuckles)
It's yours, old boy.
536
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:44,784
- Oh, yes.
Thanks, professor.
537
00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:45,987
See ya!
538
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:50,999
- Professor?
539
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,371
(chuckles)
540
00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:06,472
(static)
541
00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:11,096
- You all right?
542
00:30:11,185 --> 00:30:13,265
- Yeah.
543
00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:15,274
Just that, you know, I've
listened to Alfie's voice
544
00:30:15,356 --> 00:30:16,936
nearly every day for
the past 20 years
545
00:30:17,024 --> 00:30:18,074
on that number station.
546
00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:21,486
Just gonna miss him,
you know?
547
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:27,792
Uh, no. Leave it on.
548
00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:29,158
Just in case.
549
00:30:31,956 --> 00:30:34,246
Hey, why don't you
drop me home?
550
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:36,293
You know, have an early
night bath, bath bomb.
551
00:30:36,377 --> 00:30:38,087
- Yeah. Yeah,
I could do that.
552
00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:40,300
Or you could
come back to mine
553
00:30:40,381 --> 00:30:42,971
and we can code videos for
four hours for the channel.
554
00:30:44,218 --> 00:30:45,258
- Yeah.
555
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,807
- GUS: You told me
you were from Norfolk,
556
00:30:56,897 --> 00:30:58,107
but then you told
the machine
557
00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:59,280
that you were from
Leicestershire.
558
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:01,278
- ELTON: I got confused.
559
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,780
- GUS: Sorry but, I mean,
who gets confused about
560
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,072
where the bloody hell
they're from?
561
00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:09,871
- Look, I don't want to
talk about it.
562
00:31:09,952 --> 00:31:11,202
I just want to be
a normal person
563
00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:12,707
and have a normal job.
564
00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,918
And I don't want anything to do
with ghosts ever again.
565
00:31:14,999 --> 00:31:17,379
- Help!
You've gotta help me.
566
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:19,379
I think I'm being chased
by ghosts.
567
00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:20,501
- Huh.
568
00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:26,300
♪♪
37910
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