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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,806 - [chuckling] 2 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,221 [laughing hysterically] 3 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:31,886 I'M MELTING! 4 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,192 - FRANK? 5 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:33,833 FRANK? 6 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,887 - OH, MY GOD, WE'RE TOO LATE. HE'S OUT OF HIS CONE! 7 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:36,856 - NO! 8 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,633 [sobbing] 9 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:42,502 [whimsical music] 10 00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,609 - HI, LET ME GET TWO TICKETS TO THIS PLACE, 11 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:50,839 ONE FOR ME AND A SECOND ONE 12 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,814 JUST IN CASE I LOSE THE FIRST ONE. 13 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,784 - THIS IS BY RESERVATION. 14 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,451 - OKAY, SO RESURRECT ME A TICKET OR SOMETHING. 15 00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:58,081 I DON'T KNOW. 16 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,815 - I CANNOT LET A RHINO INTO THE CEREMONY. 17 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:01,521 - [yelps] 18 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:02,951 OH, YOU'RE ONE OF THE RACIST PEOPLE. 19 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,886 I THINK I HEARD ABOUT YOU ON THE TELEVISION SET. 20 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,062 - I AM NOT A RACIST. 21 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,530 - THEN LET ME IN. - NO. 22 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,658 - YOU RACIST HONKY. 23 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:12,555 HOW ABOUT NOW? - NO. 24 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,596 - OKAY, HOW ABOUT NOW? - NO. 25 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,171 - [deep voice] HOW ABOUT NOW? 26 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,069 - NO. - [growling] 27 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,841 - NO. - COME ON. 28 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,340 - SIR, YOU ARE A RHINO. 29 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,171 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 30 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,775 - I'M GONNA ANGRY BIRD THIS JOINT. 31 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,537 - WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? 32 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,813 [cell phone vibrating] 33 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,516 - HEY, SWEETIE. 34 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,687 - BABY, I AM SO SICK RIGHT NOW. 35 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,287 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 36 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:39,358 I THINK I GOT THE BIRD FLU OR H1N1 ANTHRAX OR SOMETHING. 37 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,729 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 38 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:41,627 - I'M SURE IT'S FINE. 39 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:42,958 - I CAN FEEL IT. I'M DYING. 40 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:43,933 AND I WAS GONNA DO SO MUCH. 41 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,460 I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST FAMOUS BLACK BALLERINA. 42 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,626 I NEED YOU TO COME AND SAVE ME WITH YOUR WHITE POWERS. 43 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:50,266 [phone rings] 44 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,370 - HONEY, JUST HOLD ON ONE SECOND. 45 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,341 - YOU DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD-- - THIS IS TRIPTANK. 46 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,210 - WELL, I LIKE REAL TELEVISION! 47 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,738 SO MAYBE WHEN YOU GROW A PAIR, 48 00:12:56,743 --> 00:13:00,183 YOU CALL ME BACK AND I'LL WATCH YOUR NEXT [bleep] DISASTER. 49 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,080 - HOLD, PLEASE. - [continues yelling] 50 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,722 - I AM LOSING MY LIFE! 51 00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:04,647 THIS SHIT'S NOT FUNNY. 52 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,551 ARE YOU GIGGLING, MOTHER[bleep]? 53 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:09,022 - THAT WOMAN HAS BEAT YOU DOWN TO A SOGGY-ASS WET NOODLE. 54 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,092 MAYBE TRY EATING SOME BARBECUE AND DRINK A BEER, 55 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,691 AND THEN YOU'LL GROW A SACK, YOU LITTLE TIT BABY. 56 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:17,763 [heavy metal music] - ¶ THE LAST DEAD UNICORN 57 00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:20,904 [upbeat music] 58 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:29,141 ¶ 59 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,493 - [screams] 60 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,120 [news theme music] 61 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,155 - WE'RE HEARING THAT THE FIRST MINER 62 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,360 IS ABOUT TO BE PULLED UP. 63 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,061 - [clucking] 64 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:50,633 - [gasps] 65 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,100 IT APPEARS WE HAVE A LITTLE VISITOR. 66 00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:54,498 [chuckles] JUST ZOOM IN ON THAT. 67 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,171 - EXCUSE ME? 68 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,768 AREN'T YOU GOING TO INTERVIEW ME? 69 00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,940 WHY ARE YOU FILMING THIS DISGUSTING CHICKEN? 70 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,341 - [sobbing] 71 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,682 - HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF! - [gasps] 72 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,377 TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID TO THE CHICKEN. 73 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,209 - BUT HE'S JUST A CHICKEN. 74 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:11,075 - YOU HURT HIS LITTLE ANIMAL FEELINGS. 75 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:11,584 - [sighs] 76 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:16,785 CHICKEN, PLEASE DO NOT POISON YOURSELF. 77 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:17,760 [all sigh in relief] 78 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,317 'CAUSE I AM 12 DAYS HUNGRY! 79 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,686 - [clucks angrily] 80 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,994 - IF HE FALLS IN, HE'LL DISINTEGRATE. 81 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,556 - [clucking angrily] 82 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:28,504 - CHICKEN, I AM DEEPLY SORRY. 83 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,231 - [clucks] 84 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,126 [onlookers sigh in relief] 85 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,396 - THAT YOU ARE AS STUPID AS YOU LOOK. 86 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,005 - [clucking angrily] 87 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:34,937 [onlookers gasp] 88 00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,181 [news theme music] 89 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:40,347 - THE BROADCAST JUST WENT WORLDWIDE. 90 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,847 WE CAN NOT HAVE A CHICKEN FRY HIMSELF 91 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,679 WHILE THE WORLD IS WATCHING. 92 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:45,684 [electricity sparking] 93 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,945 - [clucking erratically] 94 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:51,524 - SENOR CHICKEN, I AM VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, 95 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,564 VERY SORRY. 96 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,159 - [clucks] 97 00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,129 - DON'T TELL YOU, TELL THE WORLD? 98 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,328 I WAS STUCK IN A MINE AND FEARED FOR MY LIFE, 99 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,701 BUT I AM NOT THE ONE YOU SHOULD GRIEVE FOR. 100 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:05,101 EVERYONE SHOULD LOOK TO SENOR CHICKEN. 101 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:09,305 HE IS THE TRUE HERO. 102 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,279 [all sigh in relief] 103 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,077 - THAT'S THE MONEY SHOT. 104 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,948 [tires screech] 105 00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:16,514 - [clucks] 106 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,676 - YOU WANT TO SHAKE MY HAND? 107 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:19,515 [chuckles] 108 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,719 I WOULD BE HONORED. 109 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,791 AH, POR QUE? 110 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,862 - YES, MOST SHRIMP AND RIB DON'T COME TOGETHER, 111 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:28,861 BUT THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST. 112 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,632 AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID-- HE SAID-- 113 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,660 THEY ALL SAID-- WE ALL SAID-- 114 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:34,625 WITH THE SHRIMP AND A RIB. HEY, THERE, SHRIMP. SHRIMP. 115 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,444 - HEY, KIDDIES, TIME FOR VERSUS. 116 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:37,997 - VERSUS. 117 00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:41,374 - EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU GOT MY SPATS ON. 118 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,244 [grunts] 119 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,812 MM, FREE DRUG. 120 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,510 [tires screech] 121 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,684 - WELCOME, COMBATANT. 122 00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:51,684 CHOOSE WEAPON: 123 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:53,575 ASSAULT RIFLE, 124 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,716 CHAIN SAW, 125 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,391 MALT LIQUOR, 40 OUNCES. 126 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,619 - HMM, I'M GONNA NEED TO MAKE CHOICES NOW. 127 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,626 I ALWAYS MAKE GOOD CHOICES. 128 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,329 - CHOOSE ARMOR: 129 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,801 CHAIN MAIL, 130 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,499 KEVLAR SUIT, 131 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,370 BARBECUE SAUCE. 132 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,299 - [belches] 133 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,943 BARBECUE SAUCE! 134 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:12,898 [laughing] 135 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:15,406 [sputtering] 136 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,438 MMM, YEAH. 137 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:20,084 GOOD SAUCES. 138 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,810 - [clears throat] 139 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,515 THIS WEEK'S COMBATANTS: 140 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,617 DRUNK HOBO SLATHERED 141 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,019 IN BARBECUE SAUCE 142 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,451 VERSUS 143 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:30,916 SIX GORILLAS. 144 00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:32,964 - HMM, CROCODILES. 145 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,529 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. 146 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,457 BURN. 147 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,962 [groaning] 148 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,533 - UGH! - DUDE. 149 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,531 - [groaning] 150 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,602 MM, MM-HMM. 151 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,130 WHEW--OH. 152 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,595 OH, COME ON NOW. JUST A LITTLE BIT. 153 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,003 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ENOUGH. 154 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,366 LIGHT HIM UP. 155 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,375 - FRISBEE. 156 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,307 [wails] 157 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,351 - [panting] 158 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,217 [grunts] 159 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,947 POR FAVOR, DON'T KILL ME. 160 00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:00,753 [sniffing] 161 00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:00,794 YOU SMELL ENCHANTING. 10292

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