All language subtitles for TripTank s02e03 Dirty Talk

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,788 --> 00:00:13,480 Hello, Doctor, I've been having trouble with my eyes. 2 00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:14,480 Mm-hmm. 3 00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:16,481 Well, looks like you've been watching too much porn 4 00:00:16,506 --> 00:00:21,480 - on the internet, I'm afraid. - Are you sure? 5 00:00:21,481 --> 00:00:22,480 Yes. 6 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,480 [techno music] 7 00:00:27,775 --> 00:00:30,905 2x03 - "Dirty Talk" 8 00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:34,630 Frosted Kooky Loops are a Kooky-licious part 9 00:00:34,631 --> 00:00:36,630 of a complete breakfast. [laughs] 10 00:00:36,631 --> 00:00:39,630 They've got the taste kids go crazy for. 11 00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:42,631 That's why I've gotta hide 'em. 12 00:00:46,631 --> 00:00:47,630 [gasps] 13 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,630 Oh, no. Here they come. [laughs] 14 00:00:50,631 --> 00:00:53,630 Ooh. Ooh! 15 00:00:53,631 --> 00:00:55,964 - Got you, Kooky. - [laughs] You found me. 16 00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,630 Now, tell us where you hid your Frosted Kooky Loops. 17 00:00:58,631 --> 00:01:02,630 [laughs] I'll never tell... Hey, ow. 18 00:01:02,631 --> 00:01:04,630 [laughs softly] I'm... I'm... I'm bleeding. 19 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,630 I'll say it again. 20 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:09,630 Tell us where you hid your Frosted Kooky Loops. 21 00:01:09,631 --> 00:01:13,630 - Mama needs her sugar. - No, you can't have them. 22 00:01:13,631 --> 00:01:16,630 They're my Frosted Kooky Loops. [laughs] 23 00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:18,630 Wrong answer, asshole. 24 00:01:18,631 --> 00:01:21,630 - Sidekick! - [grunts] Jesus Christ. 25 00:01:21,631 --> 00:01:24,630 Just eat the rest of the complete breakfast, okay? 26 00:01:24,631 --> 00:01:26,630 Why don't you eat it? 27 00:01:26,631 --> 00:01:28,630 [choking] 28 00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:29,630 [spits] 29 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,630 Why are you doing this? 30 00:01:31,631 --> 00:01:35,630 My Frosted Kooky Loops are all I have! 31 00:01:35,631 --> 00:01:38,630 - They're all I have! - Boo-hoo. 32 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,630 [grunts] Hey. 33 00:01:40,631 --> 00:01:43,630 I swear, you'll never get your hands on my Frosted Kooky Loops. 34 00:01:43,631 --> 00:01:44,630 Never! [spits] 35 00:01:44,631 --> 00:01:48,630 Oh, that's funny. That's exactly what the leprechaun said. 36 00:01:48,631 --> 00:01:50,630 He's dead now, Kooky. 37 00:01:50,631 --> 00:01:51,630 [gun cocks] Aah. 38 00:01:51,631 --> 00:01:53,630 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 39 00:01:53,631 --> 00:01:55,630 Where are the Kooky Loops? 40 00:01:55,631 --> 00:01:57,630 [sobbing] 41 00:01:57,631 --> 00:01:59,711 If you kill me, you'll never find out where they are. 42 00:01:59,736 --> 00:02:01,630 [gun cocks] [sobs] 43 00:02:01,631 --> 00:02:03,630 You... You can just buy them at a supermarket. 44 00:02:03,631 --> 00:02:08,630 Any supermarket. A box of cereal is like, what, $4? 45 00:02:08,631 --> 00:02:13,630 - Please. - Last chance. Tick-tock, Kooky. 46 00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:14,630 Okay, okay. 47 00:02:14,631 --> 00:02:16,630 They're in the hollow log. 48 00:02:16,631 --> 00:02:19,630 I always hide them in the [bleep] hollow log! 49 00:02:19,631 --> 00:02:23,130 Thanks, Kooky. Huh, I guess we don't 50 00:02:23,131 --> 00:02:25,630 - need you any more, do we? - What? B-B-But... 51 00:02:25,631 --> 00:02:27,630 But I gave you what you want, I-I... 52 00:02:27,631 --> 00:02:29,630 [gun clicks] Aaaah! 53 00:02:29,631 --> 00:02:32,630 [laughter] 54 00:02:32,631 --> 00:02:34,631 He's so scared. 55 00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:37,630 Frosted Kooky Loops are a Kooky-licious part 56 00:02:37,631 --> 00:02:39,316 of a complete breakfast. 57 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:42,631 They've got the taste that kids go crazy for. 58 00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,630 [phone rings] 59 00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:46,831 Hello, TripTank, this is Steve. 60 00:02:46,832 --> 00:02:47,912 [woman on phone] Hey, Steve. 61 00:02:47,937 --> 00:02:49,630 Uh... hello? 62 00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:53,630 I'm a hot, horny, single lady waiting for you 63 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:54,630 on the other end of the phone. 64 00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:56,630 [woman on phone] What do you want to do to me? 65 00:02:56,631 --> 00:02:58,031 [cat purring] Wh-What do you mean? 66 00:02:58,032 --> 00:03:00,031 You can do anything you want to me, Steve. 67 00:03:00,032 --> 00:03:01,630 What do you wanna do? Tell me. 68 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:06,630 Wow, uh, I guess I'd start by taking you out 69 00:03:06,631 --> 00:03:08,630 - to an elegant dinner. - Yeah, fine, after that. 70 00:03:08,631 --> 00:03:11,630 We're back at my place. I'm naked on the bed. 71 00:03:11,631 --> 00:03:13,630 Where in my body do you want to touch me? 72 00:03:13,631 --> 00:03:16,711 Okay, uh, I guess I'd touch your hair, but only if you want me to. 73 00:03:16,736 --> 00:03:18,630 #RESPECTALLWOMEN. 74 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,111 No! Just say where you're touching me. 75 00:03:20,136 --> 00:03:21,630 You don't have to do the second part. 76 00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:23,630 Where else are you touching me, Steve? 77 00:03:23,631 --> 00:03:25,630 Okay, okay. [clears throat] 78 00:03:25,631 --> 00:03:27,630 - I... I touch your boobs. - Yes. 79 00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:29,630 Um, I-I touch your bottom. 80 00:03:29,631 --> 00:03:33,630 - Oh, yeah, do it, Steve. - But with a gentle and respectful caress. 81 00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:36,630 No, just the action and the body part. A verb and a noun. 82 00:03:36,631 --> 00:03:38,630 - What? - Verb my noun, Steve. 83 00:03:38,631 --> 00:03:40,630 Verb my noun! 84 00:03:40,631 --> 00:03:42,630 - Uh, I kiss your nipple. - Yes! 85 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:45,630 - Lick your stomach. - Oh, verb my noun! 86 00:03:45,631 --> 00:03:47,630 - Sex your vagina. - Yes, Steve, yeah! 87 00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:49,630 I'm sexing your vagina. 88 00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:50,871 Oh, I'm touching myself, Steve. 89 00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:52,630 I want you to touch yourself. 90 00:03:52,631 --> 00:03:54,387 - Uh... - Do it. 91 00:03:54,631 --> 00:03:55,131 Okay. 92 00:03:55,631 --> 00:03:56,191 [zipper pulls] 93 00:03:56,631 --> 00:03:58,631 [techno music] 94 00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:04,350 [glass shatters] 95 00:04:04,351 --> 00:04:07,350 [people screaming] [alarm wailing] 96 00:04:07,351 --> 00:04:10,350 It ends here, King Lhoga! 97 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,351 Aah! 98 00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:13,350 [roars] 99 00:04:13,351 --> 00:04:14,350 [glass shattering] 100 00:04:14,351 --> 00:04:17,350 King Lhoga's Hyper-Flame is too strong! 101 00:04:17,351 --> 00:04:21,350 There's only one way I can defeat him. Battleman X! 102 00:04:21,351 --> 00:04:24,350 Red Diamond Scorpion Tail: activate! 103 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:27,350 Now you'll see what true power... 104 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:28,351 - Hey, whoa, whoa. - What? 105 00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:30,350 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 106 00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:31,431 - Is that your dick? - What? 107 00:04:31,432 --> 00:04:32,832 What the hell else would I be talk... 108 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:36,350 I'm saying is that, right there, between your legs. 109 00:04:36,351 --> 00:04:40,350 - Is that your dick? - No. It's my Red Diamond Scorpion Tail! 110 00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:41,350 Uh, I don't know, man. 111 00:04:41,351 --> 00:04:44,350 - It looks a lot like a dick. - What? 112 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,831 It's not really cool to whip out your dick while were fighting, 113 00:04:46,856 --> 00:04:50,350 - or whatever. - It's not a dick. Watch this. 114 00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:54,350 [grunting] 115 00:04:54,351 --> 00:04:55,511 [explosion] [people screaming] 116 00:04:55,536 --> 00:04:56,350 - See? - Oh, okay. 117 00:04:56,351 --> 00:04:59,350 If anything, I'm more convinced it's a dick now. 118 00:04:59,351 --> 00:05:02,350 No. It's an energy weapon! 119 00:05:02,351 --> 00:05:03,350 [grunting] 120 00:05:03,351 --> 00:05:05,350 Excuse me. [whistles] 121 00:05:05,351 --> 00:05:07,350 Whoa, you are really consumed with that dick. 122 00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:10,350 Sorry, there's a short refractory period between blasts. 123 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,997 Please don't say refractory. 124 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:15,350 Quit stalling and meet your fate, King Lhoga! 125 00:05:15,351 --> 00:05:20,350 Red Diamond Scorpion Tail: enter Mega Mode 9! 126 00:05:20,351 --> 00:05:25,037 Wow, that is the most dick-like thing I've ever seen, 127 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:29,350 and I've fought Dickulon. Look, I think I'm just gonna go, okay? 128 00:05:29,351 --> 00:05:32,350 The city is safe once again. 129 00:05:32,351 --> 00:05:35,350 King Lhoga has been defeated by Battleman X. 130 00:05:35,351 --> 00:05:37,350 Okay, all right, I'm sorry, excuse me. 131 00:05:37,351 --> 00:05:40,350 For the record, uh, I wasn't defeated. 132 00:05:40,351 --> 00:05:43,350 I'm leaving because it got weird. 133 00:05:43,351 --> 00:05:46,350 [eerie music] 134 00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,350 [gunshot] 135 00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,350 [hard rock music] 136 00:05:54,351 --> 00:05:57,010 [man] Eighth grade home room says "hi ." 137 00:05:57,351 --> 00:05:58,350 [crows cawing] 138 00:05:58,351 --> 00:06:00,350 [growling and evil laughter] 139 00:06:00,351 --> 00:06:01,351 Aah! 140 00:06:02,351 --> 00:06:03,350 [screams] 141 00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:07,350 No! Please, no! Oh, my God! Aah! 142 00:06:07,351 --> 00:06:10,350 What are you?! What are you? 143 00:06:10,351 --> 00:06:14,350 - I am oblivion! - Get the [bleep] away from me! 144 00:06:14,351 --> 00:06:15,350 [screams] 145 00:06:15,351 --> 00:06:21,350 Greg left this world peacefully in his sleep. 146 00:06:21,351 --> 00:06:24,763 Oh, man. What did I do? And at work, no less. 147 00:06:24,823 --> 00:06:27,350 Hey, Steve, you seen a pussy around here? 148 00:06:27,351 --> 00:06:29,350 Jeez, no. Why would you ask that? 149 00:06:29,351 --> 00:06:32,350 - Dang, man, what got stuck up your butt? - What? Were you listening? 150 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:33,350 I don't know what you're talking about! 151 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,350 I'm just looking for Ashley's dumb cat, Coconut. 152 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,350 Why are you acting like such a wanker? 153 00:06:37,351 --> 00:06:40,350 I didn't do that! I'll deny it until I die. 154 00:06:40,351 --> 00:06:42,350 You know what? You're too tense, man. 155 00:06:42,351 --> 00:06:43,471 You need to take a load off. 156 00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:45,350 Shut up, dude. No, I didn't. 157 00:06:45,351 --> 00:06:47,431 Well, I don't know why you're being such a dick, man. 158 00:06:47,456 --> 00:06:49,350 But I gotta go find this pussy. 159 00:06:49,351 --> 00:06:51,350 Oh, God, I'm a terrible person. 160 00:06:51,351 --> 00:06:54,350 Here, Coconut. Come little 'nut. 161 00:06:54,351 --> 00:06:56,681 [Roy] I'm gonna give you a spanking if you don't come. 162 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:59,322 [techno music] 163 00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:05,910 ? Three aliens came from the sky ? 164 00:07:05,911 --> 00:07:07,231 ? The galactic counsel sent them ? 165 00:07:07,256 --> 00:07:08,910 ? And here's the reason why ? 166 00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:12,911 ? Their mission is to study Earth's most average guy ? 167 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,351 ? To see if humans are worth saving ? 168 00:07:15,376 --> 00:07:17,910 ? Or if everyone has to die ? 169 00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:19,911 Wait, what? 170 00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:23,080 [crying] 171 00:07:23,081 --> 00:07:25,080 Everything okay, buddy? 172 00:07:25,081 --> 00:07:29,080 Last year for my birthday, I was still with Linda. 173 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:33,080 We ate banana splits and made love until dawn. 174 00:07:33,081 --> 00:07:37,080 Today, nobody even remembered it was my birthday. 175 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:40,081 - Uh... we remembered. - You did? 176 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:42,080 Of course we did. 177 00:07:42,081 --> 00:07:44,080 - We even got you a present. - We did? 178 00:07:44,081 --> 00:07:49,080 Uh-huh. We got you... this thing. 179 00:07:49,081 --> 00:07:51,080 Guys, it's okay if you forgot my birthday, 180 00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:53,080 but there's no need to be dicks about it. 181 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,401 It'll let you see into the future. 182 00:07:54,426 --> 00:07:56,080 Oh, oh, my God! What's happening? 183 00:07:56,081 --> 00:07:58,080 What's happening here? Nice. 184 00:07:58,081 --> 00:08:00,561 Now just tell me what you want to see, and I'll punch it in. 185 00:08:00,562 --> 00:08:03,101 That's easy, I wanna know if I ever get 186 00:08:03,102 --> 00:08:06,080 - back together with Linda. - All righty, 2045... 187 00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:10,163 Maybe there'll be something to look forward to. 188 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,880 [screams] 189 00:08:12,081 --> 00:08:14,080 Oh, no! Oh, no! 190 00:08:14,081 --> 00:08:16,080 - Here you go. - Linda. [laughs softly] 191 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:18,080 - Stay strong. - What's up, babe? 192 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,080 Oh, great. She ends up with that guy? 193 00:08:20,081 --> 00:08:22,080 Okay, well, maybe it's not that serious. 194 00:08:22,081 --> 00:08:25,081 - [gasps] It's our son. - God damn it! 195 00:08:27,081 --> 00:08:29,080 [gong rings out] 196 00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:33,688 You know perfectly well the penalty for feeding these worms. 197 00:08:33,723 --> 00:08:36,361 - No, no, no, please. - Nothing is above my law, you see? 198 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,080 Not even Mommy and Daddy. 199 00:08:39,081 --> 00:08:41,080 Kill them! [heavy gunfire] 200 00:08:41,081 --> 00:08:44,080 Nothing will stop the march of progress! 201 00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:47,080 Whoa! [gasps] Oh, my God. 202 00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:48,080 I have to stop them. 203 00:08:48,081 --> 00:08:50,080 [laughter] 204 00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:51,321 I can't wait to get you home... 205 00:08:51,346 --> 00:08:55,080 Hey! You're the bad man who touched my private places. 206 00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:56,241 - What? - Babe, I swear to God 207 00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:58,080 I have no idea who this girl is. 208 00:08:58,081 --> 00:09:01,080 - Yes you do. - Who are you?! Who are you?! 209 00:09:01,081 --> 00:09:04,080 Oh, shoot, I forgot the next line. Sorry, Uncle Jeff. 210 00:09:04,081 --> 00:09:05,080 Uncle Jeff? 211 00:09:05,081 --> 00:09:06,851 - No! - I knew it. 212 00:09:06,886 --> 00:09:10,080 Linda. Yeah, I'm just... [gasps] just her acting coach. 213 00:09:10,081 --> 00:09:12,080 She just got the lead in the school play... 214 00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:13,080 - Mm, mm-hmm. - And I'm helping her 215 00:09:13,081 --> 00:09:14,080 get into the character. 216 00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:16,080 She's playing a... a molested child, so... 217 00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:19,080 - This has got to be the most pathetic thing... - You don't understand. 218 00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:22,080 You and Chet cannot be together, all right? 219 00:09:22,081 --> 00:09:23,321 It is not good for the future... 220 00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:27,080 - Ugh, not this again. - Jesus. It's been eight months. 221 00:09:27,081 --> 00:09:29,641 - Get over her, bro. - Come on, Chet. 222 00:09:29,781 --> 00:09:33,080 [bleep] loser! [sighs] 223 00:09:33,081 --> 00:09:36,081 - Can we still get ice cream? - No. 224 00:09:37,081 --> 00:09:39,080 Okay, time for the long game. 225 00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:42,817 I'm gonna subscribe him to this bicycle magazine. 226 00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:45,080 Then switch his seat with one that's been proven 227 00:09:45,081 --> 00:09:47,800 to lower sperm count. 228 00:09:48,081 --> 00:09:50,081 - Within a year, I can... - There's no time for that! 229 00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:53,556 The seed of the monster is in his balls right now. 230 00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:56,080 Rawr. [laughs] Rawr. 231 00:09:56,081 --> 00:09:58,080 [gasps] 232 00:09:58,081 --> 00:09:59,080 [trash rattling] 233 00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:01,080 - Whoa, what was that? - What? 234 00:10:01,081 --> 00:10:03,080 I think it was just a cat, babe. 235 00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:05,081 [muffled protests] 236 00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:12,080 - Ugh... huh? - Come on, come on, finish. 237 00:10:12,081 --> 00:10:15,081 Look, I don't know who you are, but no one's made me blow 238 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:17,586 with a hand job since the sixth grade. [laughs] So... 239 00:10:18,081 --> 00:10:20,080 Well, you've never gotten a hand job from me. 240 00:10:20,081 --> 00:10:23,080 I've been practicing multiple times a day 241 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,080 for more than 15 years. [dramatic music] 242 00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:28,080 [moaning] 243 00:10:40,081 --> 00:10:41,080 Ungh. [sighs] 244 00:10:41,081 --> 00:10:42,081 Okay. 245 00:10:44,081 --> 00:10:47,080 Worst birthday ever. 246 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:50,080 [techno music] 247 00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:55,825 [phone rings] Hello, TripTank. 248 00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:58,080 Hey, Steve. This is your mechanic. I'm calling to give 249 00:10:58,081 --> 00:11:00,080 you a breakdown of what we did to your car today. 250 00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:01,601 - Oh, okay. - So, I got under the hood, 251 00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:04,080 looked everything over. I lubed up your pistons. 252 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:08,080 I had to manually work them in and out to get the smooth pumping. 253 00:11:08,081 --> 00:11:11,080 - In and out, and in and out. - Uh, oh, no. 254 00:11:11,081 --> 00:11:14,080 I shortened your stroke and then I noticed you had a bent rod... 255 00:11:14,081 --> 00:11:17,080 - Oh, God. - ...so I lubed that up too. 256 00:11:17,081 --> 00:11:19,989 - Oh, God. - Oh, Steve, I want you to lick my headlights. 257 00:11:20,121 --> 00:11:21,080 Yeah, I'm doing it. 258 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:24,080 Tease my carburetor until I internally combust. 259 00:11:24,081 --> 00:11:27,080 Oh, the horsepower! The horsepower! 260 00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:28,080 [unzips] 261 00:11:28,081 --> 00:11:31,080 [dark music] 262 00:11:34,081 --> 00:11:37,080 [gun whirring] 263 00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:39,081 [dinosaur wails] 264 00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:44,081 [beeping] 265 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:49,080 [hard rock music] 266 00:11:49,081 --> 00:11:51,081 [man] Yeah, baby. Time machine. 267 00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:54,081 [heroic music] 268 00:11:59,081 --> 00:12:02,080 Things may be bleak, for they are many, 269 00:12:02,081 --> 00:12:07,080 and we are few. But we are Romans! 270 00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:12,080 So when you are surrounded by those cursed barbarian hordes, 271 00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:17,080 remember: come back with your shield or upon it! 272 00:12:17,081 --> 00:12:20,080 - Um, yeah, what if we lose our shields? - What? 273 00:12:20,081 --> 00:12:23,080 If we lose our shields, can we still come home? 274 00:12:23,081 --> 00:12:27,080 - Yeah, can we? - You are not going to lose your shields. 275 00:12:27,081 --> 00:12:29,080 - Yeah, but what if we do? - You won't. 276 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,080 Oh, I know a guy who lost his shield once. 277 00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:33,825 Who? Who do you know who lost his shield?! 278 00:12:33,881 --> 00:12:36,080 - Jack. - Jack lost his shield? 279 00:12:36,081 --> 00:12:38,080 Enough! No one will lose their shields! 280 00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:39,081 [heroic music] 281 00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:41,080 What about our swords? 282 00:12:41,081 --> 00:12:44,080 If we lose our swords, will there be extras at the battle? 283 00:12:44,081 --> 00:12:47,121 Oh, now come on. You won't lose your sword. 284 00:12:47,146 --> 00:12:50,801 - I lost my sword. - But how? 285 00:12:51,428 --> 00:12:53,080 Enough joking around. 286 00:12:53,081 --> 00:12:56,080 - Where is it? - Well, if I knew that, it wouldn't be lost. 287 00:12:56,081 --> 00:12:59,080 - You can have mine. - Then what would you use? 288 00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:03,458 - Oh, yeah... - [sighs] You will fight with your hands, 289 00:13:03,526 --> 00:13:06,080 proud, like a Roman man. 290 00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:11,081 - Aw, there's pebbles in my sandals. - Well, shake them out! 291 00:13:12,081 --> 00:13:13,441 Can we get lunch before the battle? 292 00:13:13,466 --> 00:13:16,080 - No. - You know, I really fight better 293 00:13:16,081 --> 00:13:18,080 when there's something in my system. 294 00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:21,080 - Oh, fine, where? - Indian! 295 00:13:21,081 --> 00:13:22,201 No, no, no. Indian's too far. 296 00:13:22,226 --> 00:13:26,080 - Ooh, how about Chinese? - I don't like Chinese. Thai? 297 00:13:26,081 --> 00:13:29,080 How can you not like Chinese but like Thai? 298 00:13:29,081 --> 00:13:31,080 Come on, they're different. Racist. 299 00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:33,080 Enough with this nonsense! 300 00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:36,080 - Oh, ooh, how bout Tex-Mex? - Yeah! 301 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:38,080 [both] Enchiladas! 302 00:13:38,081 --> 00:13:40,080 [sputtering] 303 00:13:40,081 --> 00:13:41,080 Aah! 304 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,080 [grunts] 305 00:13:42,081 --> 00:13:45,080 Don't forget your shield! 306 00:13:45,081 --> 00:13:46,080 I like him. 307 00:13:46,081 --> 00:13:49,080 [techno music] 308 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,740 [techno music] 309 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,739 [laughter] 310 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:03,739 Dude, I got an idea. 311 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:05,740 [laughs] [snores] 312 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:12,739 [laughter] 313 00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:15,739 You sure can drink a lot of water, kid. 314 00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:17,739 [laughs] Come on, have another cup. 315 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,739 Actually, I think I should go to the toilet. 316 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:23,523 Why, of course. Toilet's right there. 317 00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:24,739 [laughs] 318 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,739 [whimpers] 319 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:29,739 Oh, man, this is gonna be a sweet piss. 320 00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:33,739 No! Matt, you're asleep! This is a dream! 321 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,936 If you piss here, then you'll piss your pants in reality. 322 00:14:36,971 --> 00:14:39,477 I'm a part of your mind that's still aware of your surroundings. 323 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,839 I'll protect you. I can't just wake you up. 324 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,840 The shock would cause an insta-piss. 325 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,680 Aw, damn it, we'll have to wait it out in here. 326 00:14:45,705 --> 00:14:47,839 [knock on door] I don't hear any pissing in there. 327 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,120 Shit, we need to get out of here. 328 00:14:49,145 --> 00:14:51,839 Less rumination, more urination. 329 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,839 - Come on, jump out this window! - But we're on the 600th floor. 330 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,839 So what? This is a [bleep] dream! 331 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,839 Aah! 332 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:01,839 Whoa, hang on. 333 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,557 I'm flying. I'm flying! 334 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,839 Yeah, but it's just crappy floaty dream flying, 335 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,839 not really flying-flying. 336 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,839 Also we're, like, two feet off the ground. 337 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:11,840 [screams briefly] 338 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,839 - Okay, so, where are we? - Oh, balls. 339 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,839 [dramatic music] 340 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,839 Uh... that really makes me want to pee. 341 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,839 Ow! What was that for? 342 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,839 - I'm distracting you. - Oh! You little bastard. 343 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,839 Aah! 344 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,839 [splash] 345 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,839 It worked. I don't have to pee anymore. 346 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,839 Kind of feel bad for kicking that little dude into the river. 347 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:39,291 Kinda. I appear to have drifted into space. 348 00:15:39,326 --> 00:15:42,839 Oh, my God! All my teeth have fallen out! 349 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,839 I must have contracted some kind of space disease. 350 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,839 Oh, thank goodness! 351 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,839 I am inexplicably now in a doctor's waiting room. 352 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,523 The doctor will see you now. 353 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,839 - Doctor, be honest, what's wrong with me? - I'm afraid it's not good. 354 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:03,308 As you can see from this x-ray, there's a bee lodged in your dick. 355 00:16:03,343 --> 00:16:06,839 Oh, God, that is awful! How do I get it out? 356 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,839 [rock music playing] 357 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,839 Only one way to get a bee out of a dick, son... 358 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,650 you gotta piss it out! 359 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:15,839 [laughs] 360 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,880 Of course, yeah. I'll do a piss right away. 361 00:16:17,905 --> 00:16:18,839 - Stop! - Aah! 362 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,492 It's a trap. 363 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,839 The goddamn dream is trying to make you pee! 364 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,839 I got an idea. 365 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:25,840 [toilet flushing] 366 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,040 [fart noise] Okay, there's no water nearby. 367 00:16:32,065 --> 00:16:33,839 No bees. No space diseases. 368 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,839 No weird bald men, all right. 369 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,839 We camp here until this is over. 370 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,881 Thank you for everything. I think I'm gonna be okay. 371 00:16:40,906 --> 00:16:41,839 Oh, God help me! 372 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,839 - I'm on fire! - Shit! 373 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,839 There's no water here. W-What can I do? 374 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,601 Something! 375 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,289 Do something! Do anything! Aah! 376 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,839 Oh... 377 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:55,839 [laughter] 378 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,839 Oh, man. He just peed himself. 379 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,839 Oh, man. That's your couch, man. 380 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,839 [laughs] Oh... 381 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,839 [phone ringing] 382 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:09,839 [whimpering] 383 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,839 - That eases the burn, yeah... - Here kitty, kitty. 384 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,040 Here, Coconut. Where are you, you little shit? 385 00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:17,452 Roy, do you have a minute? Listen, I have 386 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,839 a real problem and it's kind of embarrassing 387 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,640 and I don't know who else to talk to about it. 388 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,839 Sure, buddy, man, Roy's always here for you. 389 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,251 This is a safe place. If I have one failing in my life, 390 00:17:27,286 --> 00:17:29,839 it's that I care about my friends too damn much. 391 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,041 Nothing you say can shock me, and I will never judge you. 392 00:17:32,066 --> 00:17:33,839 So lay it on me, best friend brother. 393 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,839 - What's eating you up? - Well, every time... 394 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,839 Cork it. It's the cat! [meow] 395 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,161 God damn you little shit! Get back here, Roy's gonna gitcha! 396 00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,839 [cat meows] 397 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,839 [dramatic music] [marching] 398 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,839 On my count, charge! 399 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,200 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 400 00:17:51,225 --> 00:17:52,839 - What? - I lost my shield. 401 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,839 [sighs] 402 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,840 Has anyone else lost their shield? 403 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,839 - We have an extra! - I-I don't want it! 404 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,839 What, now you want me to say I want it? 405 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,839 I'm gonna look like an asshole. [armor rattling] 406 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,839 Never mind! I'll be right there! 407 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,839 [techno music] 408 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,400 [phone rings] Hello, TripTank, this is Steve. 409 00:18:19,425 --> 00:18:21,199 Please don't be sexy. 410 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,199 Okay, I'm required by law to read the following list 411 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,199 of 377 new federal banking regulations. 412 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,199 That sounds great. And not at all stimulating. 413 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,520 - Let's do this. - Here we go. Regulation number one. 414 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,199 Federal law requires that all banks will now need to 415 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,199 plan their capital requirements... 416 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,934 [crying and unzipping] for supporting their operations 417 00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,582 and link this clearly to their strategy... 418 00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:42,772 [techno music] 419 00:18:44,277 --> 00:18:47,299 Well, I did it. Finally killed that damn cat. 420 00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:49,276 Ashley wanted you to catch her cat, not kill it. 421 00:18:49,277 --> 00:18:52,276 Ah, shoot. Yup, I guess that's why she was crying. 422 00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:55,416 That makes a lot of sense now. That one's on Roy. 423 00:18:55,417 --> 00:18:56,416 That's Roy's bad. 424 00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:59,189 - Now why are you crying? - I'm a monster. 425 00:18:59,255 --> 00:19:01,617 Every time the phone rings it stimulates something in me 426 00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:05,416 - and I... I touch myself. - Yeah, and? 427 00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:09,416 Roy, I've been masturbating all day right here in the lobby. 428 00:19:09,417 --> 00:19:11,416 Oh, that's nothing. Just do what I do. 429 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,416 See, found this mannequin arm and sewed it right here 430 00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:15,416 into my jumpsuit. 431 00:19:15,417 --> 00:19:16,697 - What? - Yeah, that way I always 432 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,416 got one hand free for a little monkey slap. 433 00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,416 Diddle-diddle-diddle. 434 00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:22,817 Wait, so you've been wearing a mannequin arm this whole time? 435 00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:25,763 Hell yeah, man. Remember? [dreamy harp music] 436 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:28,416 Hey, Steve, have you seen Ashley's shitty cat? 437 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:31,416 Hey, best friend brother, you can tell me anything. 438 00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:36,441 Hey, Coconut, get ready to die. Ow! 439 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,857 Huh. Yeah, now that I think about it, 440 00:19:37,882 --> 00:19:40,416 you have been wearing that fake arm since the day I met you. 441 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:43,417 Hell yeah, man, I'm never not jerking it just a little. 442 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,416 Are you asleep? 443 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:48,416 Good. It's time to dream. 444 00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:50,417 [man whispering] Dream Wizard. 445 00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:55,569 You finally got a date with the hottest girl in the school. 446 00:19:55,604 --> 00:19:58,416 [groans] And not only that, it's time to make love. 447 00:19:58,417 --> 00:20:01,416 And as you lie on the couch, and she sits upon you 448 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,916 and pulls your pants down right as 449 00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:06,416 you're about to enter her you realize... 450 00:20:06,417 --> 00:20:07,416 you have a baby dick. 451 00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,416 No, no, I don't mean you have a baby-sized dick. 452 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,416 I mean you actually have a dick that is a baby. 453 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:14,472 [baby crying] [laughs] 454 00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:16,546 Like a little wovvlin' tovvlin' crying baby. 455 00:20:16,547 --> 00:20:18,546 And as she tries to pull herself away, 456 00:20:18,547 --> 00:20:22,546 the baby says, "Mama, mama, mama. 457 00:20:22,547 --> 00:20:23,546 No! Daddy!" 458 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,666 Oh, and right after that... [car honks] 459 00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:28,666 Hey, I'm coming! I'm coming! [car honks] 460 00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:30,666 You cannot rush this kind of stuff. 461 00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:34,667 Sweet dreams, loser. [gasps] 462 00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:39,496 Red Diamond Scorpion Tail: Drill Attack! 463 00:20:39,497 --> 00:20:41,496 Ha-ha! You touched my dick. 464 00:20:41,497 --> 00:20:45,496 Aw, man, come on. That is super gross. 465 00:20:45,497 --> 00:20:48,496 Now I'll touch your dick and then we'll be even. 466 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,496 I hate you. 467 00:20:50,497 --> 00:20:51,496 [phone rings] 468 00:20:51,497 --> 00:20:53,496 You've reached TripTank, talk to me. 469 00:20:53,497 --> 00:20:55,496 Hey, Steve, it's me again. 470 00:20:55,497 --> 00:20:58,497 Oh, hey. Uh, hold on one second. 471 00:20:59,497 --> 00:21:01,577 [unzips] All right. Talk to me, sexy. 472 00:21:01,602 --> 00:21:03,593 Put it on speaker, man. 473 00:21:03,193 --> 00:21:05,918 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 474 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:10,018 Uh-oh, Jeff. Without that dictator, an evil cult comes to power. 475 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:13,018 - Oh, no. - But the leader's father is very close. 476 00:21:13,019 --> 00:21:16,018 - Oh, thank God. - And his balls are full to the brim. 477 00:21:16,019 --> 00:21:18,371 You know what, I'm not a god. It's probably not 478 00:21:18,372 --> 00:21:20,963 a good idea for me to keep messing with the future. 479 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:25,563 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35911

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