All language subtitles for TripTank s02e02 Let Me Transfer You

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,073 --> 00:00:21,523 - I love you guys. - Yeah. 2 00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:24,526 Psst. Hey, kids. 3 00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:29,615 You want... You want to see a dead body? 4 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,333 - Uh... - Uh... 5 00:00:31,452 --> 00:00:32,951 Okay, mister. 6 00:00:40,761 --> 00:00:43,629 2x02 - Let Me Transfer You 7 00:00:44,164 --> 00:00:47,183 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 8 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:50,516 So I asked Julie over to my place for dinner finally. 9 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,055 You don't think it's weird that I'm 10 00:00:52,056 --> 00:00:53,435 gonna have my mom cook it, do you? 11 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,889 Dang, man. I've never seen anybody block their own cock. 12 00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:00,142 Hello, you've reached TripTank. This is Steve. 13 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,528 - How can I help you? - Yeah, what is this crap 14 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:05,197 I see on your pathetic excuse for a TV show? 15 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:08,150 A poor defenseless squirrel getting his neck snapped? 16 00:01:08,286 --> 00:01:11,120 - I'd like to lodge a formal complaint. - Let me transfer you. 17 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,655 Hello, Complaints Department. 18 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,888 Hello, yeah, I'd like to file a complaint against 19 00:01:14,889 --> 00:01:16,692 the animal cruelty I've seen on your show. 20 00:01:16,794 --> 00:01:18,494 Let me transfer you to the Animal Department. 21 00:01:18,596 --> 00:01:20,129 - What? - Hello, Animal Department. 22 00:01:20,231 --> 00:01:22,007 - Hey, listen here... - Let me transfer you 23 00:01:22,008 --> 00:01:23,766 - to the Listening Department. - What the shit? 24 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:26,185 Hello there, I'm I'll Do Anything Andy. 25 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,686 And here at Andy's Used Autos, 26 00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,488 I'll do anything to get your business. 27 00:01:29,574 --> 00:01:31,190 I'll wear a funny hat. Boom! 28 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,075 I'll let you dunk me. Whoa! 29 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,693 I'll throw in a barbecue. 30 00:01:34,779 --> 00:01:38,447 I'll do anything. I'll eat your vegetables for you. 31 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:39,749 I'll bare-knuckle fight a tiger. 32 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,585 Come on, you big pussy. 33 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,504 I'll bare-knuckle fight a bear. 34 00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:47,039 I'll bare-knuckle fight the other kind of bear. 35 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,374 What are you doing later? 36 00:01:48,459 --> 00:01:51,127 I'll drink a gallon of milk in under an hour. 37 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,262 Ah. That wasn't so bad... 38 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,964 I'll tell your mother to move into a home. 39 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,882 You're old, and they don't want you. 40 00:01:57,018 --> 00:01:59,435 I'll cut off my own finger. 41 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:00,970 I'll Tokyo drift through a preschool. 42 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:05,724 I'll do anything. I'll eat glass. 43 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:06,725 I'll [bleep] ass. 44 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:08,444 Come here, you. 45 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,779 I'll file your taxes. 46 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,897 Carry the one. Ooh, I think you're gonna owe. 47 00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:13,732 I'll start a race war. 48 00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:15,734 Hey, you guys look like a bunch of [bleep]. 49 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,987 I'll go skydiving without a parachute. 50 00:02:18,072 --> 00:02:19,572 Ahh! 51 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:23,159 I'll let you [bleep] my wife! 52 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:26,996 I'll fake my own death. 53 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:30,249 - I'll fake your own death. - I'm okay. 54 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:33,886 I'll light myself on fire. 55 00:02:33,971 --> 00:02:35,754 I'll get tarred and feathered. 56 00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:38,924 I'll cut off my own dick. Ahh! 57 00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:42,094 No, wait, I haven't even started yet. Whoo! 58 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,345 I'll walk your dog. 59 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:46,398 Hey, I was gonna put that back on. Dog took my dick. 60 00:02:46,484 --> 00:02:47,900 I'll get drawn and quartered. 61 00:02:47,985 --> 00:02:51,020 I'll hire an artist to draw me getting drawn and quartered. 62 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,071 Sacre bleu! 63 00:02:52,156 --> 00:02:55,241 I'll slash sticker prices by 10%! 64 00:02:55,326 --> 00:02:59,278 I'll do anything. I'm I'll Do Anything Andy! 65 00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:02,781 10% and he'll [bleep] my ass. Kids get in the truck. 66 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,117 We're going down to the dealership. Hey! 67 00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:14,343 Hey, excuse me, do you have a moment to help save 68 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,795 - endangered sea turtles? - Sorry. 69 00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,881 - Hi, uh, hi, sir, would you... - I'm not interested. 70 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,015 - Excuse me, ma'am... - Get lost. 71 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,134 - Excuse me, sir... - Go [bleep] yourself. 72 00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:23,219 - Save the turtles? - No. 73 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,804 - Not today. - Save the turtles, anyone? 74 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:29,358 Save the turtles. 75 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,811 I'll get the signatures, I promise! 76 00:03:32,897 --> 00:03:36,982 Not my balls. Take anything but my balls! 77 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:43,822 Oh, my God, look. A double rainbow. 78 00:03:43,908 --> 00:03:46,292 Wow, I wonder what it means. 79 00:03:46,377 --> 00:03:50,746 - O'Leary. - Mickey. 80 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,557 Ahh! 81 00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:07,012 Looks like it's my lucky day. 82 00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:10,015 Taste the rainbow, bitch. 83 00:04:12,069 --> 00:04:14,186 - Ahh! - Wha? 84 00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:17,940 - It is I what's coming next to ya. - Ah! 85 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,361 Whoa, look at that. 86 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:27,032 You want a piece of this? I'll give it to ya. 87 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,708 You want it, well, hair it is. 88 00:04:40,765 --> 00:04:41,931 And here's the capper. 89 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,300 Oh, shite. 90 00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,772 Nature's [bleep] weird. 91 00:04:56,373 --> 00:04:58,990 _ 92 00:04:58,991 --> 00:05:01,607 _ 93 00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,958 All these goddamn robots took everything from us. 94 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:12,578 Friends, our families, our very way of life. 95 00:05:12,663 --> 00:05:14,246 But you know what I miss most right about now? 96 00:05:14,332 --> 00:05:16,465 - What's that, Sarge? - Pecan pie. 97 00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:19,001 Haven't had a slice since the goddamn war began. 98 00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:21,837 Heh, yeah. For me, it's my pop's chili. 99 00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:23,639 What I'd do for a bowl of that chili. 100 00:05:23,725 --> 00:05:26,726 Hey, how about you, Tad? What food do you miss most? 101 00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:29,478 - Scrap metal. - I hear you, man. I hear you. 102 00:05:29,564 --> 00:05:32,932 Hold up. Did you just say you miss eating scrap metal? 103 00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:34,016 No. 104 00:05:34,152 --> 00:05:36,318 Well, what food did you say you miss the most? 105 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:40,606 - Pizza and hamburgers. - Ha-ha. Pizza and hamburgers. 106 00:05:40,691 --> 00:05:42,858 That's a classic combination right there. 107 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,910 Sarge, can I talk to you for a second? 108 00:05:45,029 --> 00:05:47,863 Hey, I think... I think that guy might be a robot. 109 00:05:47,949 --> 00:05:50,032 - Who? Tad? - Yeah, yeah, I don't know. 110 00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:52,952 - There's just something off about him. - Pss, no way. Come here, Luger. 111 00:05:53,037 --> 00:05:54,837 Listen, I think you're losing it, man, all right? 112 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,539 You've been on the front lines a little too long. 113 00:05:56,674 --> 00:06:01,127 You're starting to see robots everywhere. 114 00:06:01,212 --> 00:06:03,212 So, Tad, where did you say you were from again? 115 00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:05,181 I am from Tokyo, Japan. 116 00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:08,244 It is the largest city in the world. So, mathematically, 117 00:06:08,245 --> 00:06:10,386 it would make sense that I am from there. 118 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:11,971 - His story adds up. - Does it? 119 00:06:12,056 --> 00:06:15,107 Ah, I don't think so. No, it does not. He's not Japanese. 120 00:06:15,226 --> 00:06:16,942 - Drop it, Luger. - Drop what? 121 00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:19,395 Tad, listen, you're gonna laugh when you hear this, 122 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,981 but Luger over here, he thinks you're a... 123 00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:23,732 He thinks you're a robot. 124 00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:26,619 - Yeah, I do. - Ha. Ha. That is funny. 125 00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:28,287 Next you will be saying... 126 00:06:28,406 --> 00:06:32,792 Error, missing file "human_joke.exe." 127 00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,296 Oh, classic Tad. 128 00:06:37,415 --> 00:06:39,331 Okay, so you're denying that you're actually a robot 129 00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:42,585 disguised as a human and sent to infiltrate the resistance, huh? 130 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,671 - You lay off him, Luger. - Yes, yes. 131 00:06:45,756 --> 00:06:50,259 Your unfair accusations have made me feel the emotion of anger. 132 00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:52,595 Enough! Both of you, stand down. 133 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,097 That's an order. Don't you see? 134 00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,316 This is just what the robots want us to do. 135 00:06:57,435 --> 00:06:58,934 It's not enough that they've murdered everyone 136 00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:02,104 we've ever cared about, but now we have to kill each other too? 137 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:06,942 Ah, I'm sorry, Sarge. I just hate the robots so goddamn much. 138 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,527 You know, I think we all just need to calm down. 139 00:07:08,613 --> 00:07:11,447 We need to try and take our minds off this godforsaken hell 140 00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:14,116 - that we're in. - How about I sing us a song 141 00:07:14,202 --> 00:07:17,203 from before the Great Human-Robot War? 142 00:07:17,288 --> 00:07:20,039 ? Shooby-dooby-dooby dooby-doo-wop-wop ? 143 00:07:20,124 --> 00:07:21,207 ? Shooby-dooby-dooby ? 144 00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:24,376 That's really beautiful, Tad. Thank you. 145 00:07:24,462 --> 00:07:25,628 Hey, you know what I used to love 146 00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:27,296 before the robots killed my parents? 147 00:07:27,431 --> 00:07:29,632 - What was that, Luger? - Techno! 148 00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:33,469 Die, you robot son of a bitch! 149 00:07:50,411 --> 00:07:52,244 Hello, TripTank Go [bleep] Yourself Department. 150 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:55,247 - How can I help you? - Look, you pathetic piece of shit. 151 00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:57,249 Let me transfer you to that department. 152 00:07:57,335 --> 00:07:58,300 TripTank, this is Steve. 153 00:07:58,419 --> 00:08:00,085 - God damn it! - God damn it? 154 00:08:00,221 --> 00:08:01,420 Oh, okay, yeah, let me transfer you to that department. 155 00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:05,557 TripTank Department of Theology and Hydroelectric Power. 156 00:08:05,643 --> 00:08:06,975 This is Tony. Talk to me. 157 00:08:07,094 --> 00:08:09,978 Tony, I swear, if you transfer me, I will come down there, 158 00:08:10,097 --> 00:08:13,065 - and I'll beat the shit out of you. - Ooh. Don't want that. 159 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:14,733 Just tell me how I can help you, sir, 160 00:08:14,819 --> 00:08:17,436 - and we won't have any problems. - Okay, fine. Thank you, Tony. 161 00:08:17,521 --> 00:08:22,491 Uh, I was watching TripTank, and I have a complaint. 162 00:08:22,610 --> 00:08:24,576 That's Complaints Department. Hold please. 163 00:08:24,662 --> 00:08:26,161 Ahh! No! 164 00:08:27,448 --> 00:08:29,998 Look at that turdbag, Gary. 165 00:08:30,117 --> 00:08:32,284 Leading scouts on a campout like a jerk, 166 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:35,467 I say we scare the shit out of that asshole and teach 167 00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:38,457 - him a lesson. - A revenge lesson on the art of pranking. 168 00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:40,209 Matt, is your head in the game or what? 169 00:08:40,294 --> 00:08:43,178 Oh, it's in the game. It's in the game hard. 170 00:08:43,297 --> 00:08:44,630 That's what I like to hear. 171 00:08:44,765 --> 00:08:47,966 Now, put on those tight little scout shorts, and let's roll out. 172 00:08:48,052 --> 00:08:50,018 And that, boys, is how you tell the difference 173 00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:53,555 between a common oak leaf and the dreaded poison oak leaf. 174 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:56,433 Speaking of dread, I'm surprised you brought us all 175 00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:59,278 to Maple Falls, the site of all those grizzly murders. 176 00:08:59,363 --> 00:09:01,530 What? No, no one was murdered up here. 177 00:09:01,649 --> 00:09:03,649 Oh, yeah. Tons of murders. 178 00:09:03,734 --> 00:09:06,735 - Why would you bring us up here, Dad? - No, kids. Listen. 179 00:09:06,821 --> 00:09:09,872 There were no murders here, okay? I'm pretty sure. 180 00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:11,657 ? Do doo doo... ? Whoa! 181 00:09:11,742 --> 00:09:15,878 If it isn't a bunch of campers led by a stupid scout master fatso. 182 00:09:15,996 --> 00:09:17,379 Oh, hello, Park Ranger. 183 00:09:17,498 --> 00:09:20,332 - Kids, this man helps take care of... - Oh, enough about me. 184 00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,134 You know, you boys are either awful brave, 185 00:09:22,219 --> 00:09:24,636 or your leader is a certified numbskull. 186 00:09:24,722 --> 00:09:27,506 I mean, for this guy to bring you kids up here 187 00:09:27,591 --> 00:09:30,559 with a mass murderer on the loose, that's just crazy. 188 00:09:30,678 --> 00:09:33,312 - What? That's true? - Oh, sure. Big-time true. 189 00:09:33,397 --> 00:09:35,787 The Butcher of Maple Falls has been on quite 190 00:09:35,789 --> 00:09:38,066 - a rampage as of late. - Really? Oh, no. 191 00:09:38,185 --> 00:09:41,520 Wait. Do you guys hear something coming from the woods? 192 00:09:41,605 --> 00:09:42,738 What? What is out there? 193 00:09:42,857 --> 00:09:46,191 I hear something too, and it sounds super close. 194 00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:51,780 He said, "It sounds super close!" 195 00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:54,700 Ah! Blah! Murder! 196 00:09:54,785 --> 00:09:57,920 - Oh, my God! - I'm The Butcher of Maple Falls, 197 00:09:58,038 --> 00:10:00,706 and I'm here to murder somebody tonight. 198 00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:02,958 This can't be happening. Kids, run! 199 00:10:03,043 --> 00:10:04,927 Don't worry, kids. You're safe. 200 00:10:05,045 --> 00:10:08,931 I only slaughter the stinkiest, stupidest, 201 00:10:09,049 --> 00:10:11,884 flabbiest bozo I can find. 202 00:10:11,969 --> 00:10:14,603 And tonight, it's you, lardass! 203 00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:17,389 - Please, somebody help me. - You see this, kids? 204 00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,558 - Your leader is a coward. - Get him! 205 00:10:19,643 --> 00:10:22,394 I'm going to cut off your face and stuff it down my pants. 206 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:26,231 - No, please! - Get ready to die, dummy! 207 00:10:26,317 --> 00:10:28,450 Please, no! 208 00:10:28,569 --> 00:10:31,870 Ha! I knew it. We scared the shit out of Gary. 209 00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:33,906 What? What is happening? Am I dead? 210 00:10:33,991 --> 00:10:36,742 No, you jackass. It's us. 211 00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:38,911 Dana? Andy? What is this? 212 00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:40,879 Just your classic "hide out in the woods, 213 00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:42,918 pretend to be a mass murderer, scare a guy 214 00:10:42,919 --> 00:10:44,917 till he shits his pants to teach him a lesson 215 00:10:45,052 --> 00:10:47,920 in the art of revenge pranking" revenge prank. 216 00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:49,555 Suck it, Gary! Whoo! 217 00:10:52,393 --> 00:10:53,926 Oh, Donnie just 'grammed 218 00:10:54,011 --> 00:10:55,894 a picture of Gary's pooped-out pants. 219 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,597 #SuckItDad! Whoo! 220 00:10:58,732 --> 00:11:00,232 I'm really starting to like that kid. 221 00:11:00,317 --> 00:11:04,269 ? Suck it, Gary ? 222 00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:23,205 Doink. 223 00:11:27,795 --> 00:11:30,846 I'll put one there. Doink. 224 00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:33,298 Ooh, that's good. 225 00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:36,268 - And finally, I'll put one... - Can I help you? 226 00:11:36,353 --> 00:11:37,803 Oh, you startled me, I... 227 00:11:37,938 --> 00:11:41,807 You got five seconds, or I paint this kitchen with your brains. 228 00:11:41,892 --> 00:11:44,560 Okay, okay, don't shoot, please don't. 229 00:11:44,645 --> 00:11:47,563 I'm sorry, I'm-I'm the Easter Bunny! 230 00:11:47,648 --> 00:11:50,449 - The what now? - The Easter Bunny? 231 00:11:50,534 --> 00:11:54,951 The... Okay. And just what in the hell do you 232 00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:57,956 think you're doing in my house... Easter Bunny? 233 00:11:58,042 --> 00:12:00,576 Duh! I'm just hiding eggs, you know, for your kids, 234 00:12:00,661 --> 00:12:03,495 - for your children. - Eggs? For my kids? 235 00:12:03,581 --> 00:12:05,964 Well, not real eggs. Plastic eggs. 236 00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:07,766 And they're filled with candy. 237 00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,002 - Candy? - Yeah, candy. 238 00:12:10,087 --> 00:12:12,087 I just wanna give your kids candy. 239 00:12:12,172 --> 00:12:15,007 - Whoa, okay! Sir, I... - Let me get this straight. 240 00:12:15,092 --> 00:12:17,509 You break into my house in the middle of the night 241 00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:21,430 - in a goddamn rabbit costume... - I'm not a costume. 242 00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:24,683 To give my children candy? 243 00:12:24,768 --> 00:12:28,687 Not give. Hide. They have to find it to eat it, but... 244 00:12:28,772 --> 00:12:32,524 - You child-molesting mother[bleep]! - What? No, no! No, no! 245 00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:35,944 You got ten seconds to get out of here, or I start firing. One. 246 00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:38,363 Okay. All right. I'm leaving. I'm walking away. 247 00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:41,667 - Two. - But just so you know, sir, I... 248 00:12:41,769 --> 00:12:45,037 Ten. 249 00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:47,039 My face... 250 00:12:49,677 --> 00:12:53,211 And that's how you know the Easter Bunny isn't real. 251 00:12:53,347 --> 00:12:55,180 Well... 252 00:12:55,265 --> 00:12:58,467 Now it's time to get some sleep. Mwah. 253 00:12:58,552 --> 00:13:02,638 Good night, my sweet, sweet boys. Mwah. 254 00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:07,693 And just so you know, I love you. 255 00:13:10,597 --> 00:13:15,434 - Why was that man wearing Dad's robe? - I'm scared. 256 00:13:31,755 --> 00:13:32,485 Hello, TripTank. 257 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,987 Hey, you. Listen here. 258 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,941 Okay... Okay, I have spent the last 15 minutes 259 00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:39,776 getting bounced from department to department, 260 00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:42,845 and all I want is for someone to fix my problem! 261 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,947 Oh, that's Maintenance Department. Let me transfer you. 262 00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:47,350 Oh, here we go again. You [bleep] prick. 263 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,986 Hello, Maintenance Department. 264 00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:52,188 Roy speaking. How can I be of service? 265 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:55,892 I am sick of this bullshit. Put your manager on the phone. 266 00:13:55,994 --> 00:13:58,528 No problem, sir. Please hold. 267 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,898 Hey, girl, how you doing? Doing good? All right. 268 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,133 Yeah. 269 00:14:04,235 --> 00:14:06,469 Maintenance Department. This is the manager speaking. 270 00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:08,137 I don't need goddamn maintenance. 271 00:14:08,239 --> 00:14:11,774 I want to talk to somebody at TripTank about that poor squirrel. 272 00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:14,177 Oh, shit. They sent you to the wrong department. 273 00:14:14,279 --> 00:14:16,012 I'll hook you up, buddy. Let me transfer you. 274 00:14:16,114 --> 00:14:17,814 Hello, TripTank. 275 00:14:17,916 --> 00:14:20,817 Mother[bleep] goddamn [bleep] sucking piece of [bleep]. 276 00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:23,586 Oh, uh, sir, there's a lot of static on the line. 277 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:27,090 - Let me transfer you to Maintenance. - No, no, no, no! 278 00:14:27,155 --> 00:14:29,522 Anna, I thought you were hospitalized 279 00:14:29,608 --> 00:14:31,608 after drinking that boiling cup of tea. 280 00:14:31,743 --> 00:14:34,944 Oh, Herbert, I completely... 281 00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,663 recovered thanks to... 282 00:14:36,781 --> 00:14:38,331 the doctor who... 283 00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:39,949 replaced my... 284 00:14:40,085 --> 00:14:42,285 lips with... 285 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:45,622 my father's sphincter. 286 00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:51,347 - Whew. Oh, my. Ooh. - Hey, scout master? 287 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,149 Would you like some water from my canteen? 288 00:14:53,234 --> 00:14:58,187 Whew, that'd be great. 289 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,776 Matt, is that you? 290 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:07,497 - Suck it, Gary! Whoo! - Whoo! 291 00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:09,949 Suck it, Gary! Whoo! 292 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,334 Why don't we ever high-five? 293 00:15:11,419 --> 00:15:13,786 Ugh, because your damp hands gross me out. 294 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:17,256 ? Suck it, Gary ? 295 00:15:18,196 --> 00:15:21,197 _ 296 00:15:23,251 --> 00:15:26,669 Oh, my God, Jen, I got some serious butt drama in route. 297 00:15:26,771 --> 00:15:29,272 - You want me to hold your milk shake? - Hell no, betch. 298 00:15:29,374 --> 00:15:32,175 I drink milk shake wherever I want. 299 00:15:32,277 --> 00:15:34,577 Betch, I bet she wanted to drink my shake. 300 00:15:34,679 --> 00:15:36,746 God, I need new friends, like, cool friends, 301 00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,047 like James Spader... 302 00:15:46,691 --> 00:15:49,160 Oh, my God. 303 00:15:50,562 --> 00:15:54,931 - Jen, I just had an effing baby. - Oh, my God. You had sex? 304 00:15:55,033 --> 00:15:57,233 No, God, you're so stupid, Jen. 305 00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:59,002 You know I'm saving myself for Cumberbetch. 306 00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:01,170 This is obviously like a Jesus baby. 307 00:16:01,272 --> 00:16:03,740 Oh, my God, we're going to be, like, famous. 308 00:16:03,842 --> 00:16:05,808 We? You mean me, betch. 309 00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:07,477 I'm the one that's going to have her own reality show, 310 00:16:07,579 --> 00:16:09,184 with, like, me and Jesus just, like, 311 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,913 doing, like, Jesus things in the Hamptons. 312 00:16:10,999 --> 00:16:12,348 Get out of here, betch! 313 00:16:13,952 --> 00:16:16,853 This baby sucks. It doesn't do anything 314 00:16:16,955 --> 00:16:18,921 and is, like, basically ruining my life right now. 315 00:16:19,024 --> 00:16:20,590 Why don't you sell it to the Baby Crap? 316 00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:24,794 Oh, my God, I should sell it to Baby Crap for like a million dollars. 317 00:16:25,296 --> 00:16:26,529 Hi, can I help you? 318 00:16:26,631 --> 00:16:28,164 Yeah, I have this baby that I'm looking to sell. 319 00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:29,732 How much can we get for it? 320 00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:33,002 It's an ima-inaccurate conc... 321 00:16:33,104 --> 00:16:34,671 It's a Jesus baby. Give me some money! 322 00:16:34,773 --> 00:16:36,239 You mean immaculate conception? 323 00:16:36,341 --> 00:16:39,542 Yeah, like, God wanted to make a baby with the best woman 324 00:16:39,644 --> 00:16:44,480 on Earth, and basically, he chose me for obvious reasons. 325 00:16:44,582 --> 00:16:47,050 Now you're trying to sell this baby to the Crap? 326 00:16:47,152 --> 00:16:49,686 No, to the Baby Crap, you dumbass. 327 00:16:49,788 --> 00:16:52,388 Why would I sell a baby to regular Crap if it's a baby? 328 00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:55,291 - Some people. - Well, I'm not sure I can help you. 329 00:16:55,377 --> 00:16:57,927 The Baby Crap doesn't really buy babies. 330 00:16:58,013 --> 00:17:01,631 - Is it a boy or a girl? - I don't know, it's a Jesus. 331 00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:04,550 Look at you, what a face. 332 00:17:04,636 --> 00:17:07,520 Oh, my, this isn't a baby. 333 00:17:07,639 --> 00:17:13,042 I think it's a... burrito. 334 00:17:13,144 --> 00:17:17,647 Oh, my gah! 335 00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:21,984 Mmm. 336 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:27,073 That's the best burrito baby I've ever had in my life. 337 00:17:38,990 --> 00:17:41,491 So it is mine and Julie's first date, 338 00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:44,494 but I should probably buy some condoms just in case? 339 00:17:44,629 --> 00:17:47,997 Hell if I know, I had me a vasectomy when I was 16. 340 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,999 Or at least that's what I tell the ladies. 341 00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:53,920 Oh, jeez. It's that guy calling back again. 342 00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:56,389 Oh, oh, hey! Transfer him down to Ben. 343 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:59,008 - That will wear him out. - Oh, good idea. 344 00:17:59,094 --> 00:18:01,177 Ben Department. 345 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,730 This is Ben speaking. How can I help you? 346 00:18:03,848 --> 00:18:06,849 Oh, my God, are you kidding me? Listen here, you fat bitch. 347 00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:08,601 I'll transfer you to that department. 348 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:11,187 Hello, Fat Bitch Department. 349 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:15,158 No! God, no, I do not want the Fat Bitch Department. 350 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,493 Okay, let me transfer you. 351 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,496 Hello, Not Fat Bitch Department. How can I help you? 352 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,966 This is insane. You're all a bunch of assholes. 353 00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:24,734 Do you have a screw loose or something? 354 00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:26,536 Hold please. 355 00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:28,805 Hell-hell-hell-hello, TripTank. 356 00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,707 This is Ro-Robot-Robot Ben. 357 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:31,708 How can I help...can I help... 358 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,142 can I help... can I help... help you? 359 00:18:33,244 --> 00:18:35,678 I don't understand a word you're saying. Put the other guy back on. 360 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,314 Let me... let me... let me trans-trans-transfer you. 361 00:18:38,416 --> 00:18:40,216 Transfer you. Cookies. 362 00:18:40,318 --> 00:18:42,852 Hello, you've reached the Fat Bitch Department. 363 00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:45,278 - We're all on break right now. - Ah! 364 00:18:54,014 --> 00:18:55,380 Guys, we got him. 365 00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:58,433 I can't believe how good this feels. My whole body's tingling. 366 00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:00,802 Whoo, what a rush! I am on fire. 367 00:19:00,888 --> 00:19:03,722 I'm feeling crazy all over. This is great. 368 00:19:03,857 --> 00:19:07,559 Say, Andy, did you, um, possibly use poison oak for your disguise? 369 00:19:07,694 --> 00:19:09,394 No, these are just common oak leaves. 370 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,198 - I'm pretty sure that's poison oak. - Yeah, I am itching like a mother. 371 00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:15,400 - Me too. - As am I. 372 00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:20,455 I can't believe that dickhead Gary gave us all poison oak! 373 00:19:20,574 --> 00:19:23,074 - Oh, he'th the wurth! - I hate Gawee! 374 00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:28,079 Oh-ho-ho, Gawee. You despicable bastard. 375 00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:32,334 You'we going to thuck it, and you'we gonna thuck it thuper hard! 376 00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:36,755 Thuck it! Thuck it! Thuck it! Thuck it! 377 00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:39,140 Thuck it, Gawee! 378 00:19:39,259 --> 00:19:43,228 ? Suck it, Gary ? 379 00:19:43,313 --> 00:19:46,765 Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, you're right. I'm not ready for this. 380 00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:48,817 You should be the one taking out Julie, not me. 381 00:19:48,936 --> 00:19:51,186 I think you're making a wise choice here, brother. 382 00:19:51,271 --> 00:19:56,107 Don't worry. I'll treat her real, real, real special. 383 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:57,859 Thanks. You're a good friend to me, Roy. 384 00:19:57,945 --> 00:20:00,178 Hello, TripTank. 385 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,882 All right, look. You won, okay? I give up. 386 00:20:03,984 --> 00:20:06,785 I just...I want to make sure that that little squirrel is okay. 387 00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:08,853 Squirrel? N-no, he's great. 388 00:20:08,956 --> 00:20:11,756 I think he's still in his dressing room. I'll transfer you now. 389 00:20:11,858 --> 00:20:15,393 - Yello, this is Squirrel. - Dear God! Squirrel! 390 00:20:15,495 --> 00:20:18,196 I saw your cute little neck get snapped on TripTank. 391 00:20:18,298 --> 00:20:19,397 I thought you were dead. 392 00:20:19,499 --> 00:20:21,566 Well, I hate to burst your bubble here, boyo, 393 00:20:21,668 --> 00:20:23,535 but I'm a cartoon character. 394 00:20:23,637 --> 00:20:26,671 - What? You're a cartoon? - Yes, and so are you. 395 00:20:26,773 --> 00:20:31,347 Now listen, do not take the crap that you see on TripTank 396 00:20:31,348 --> 00:20:35,447 too seriously, because literally anything can happen. 397 00:20:35,549 --> 00:20:37,215 Wait a second. Hang on. So I could do anything? 398 00:20:37,317 --> 00:20:40,218 Go anywhere? Like, travel through space and time? 399 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,155 Yes, let me transfer you to that dimension. 400 00:20:44,258 --> 00:20:47,450 No, no! 401 00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:53,132 Let me transfer you to that dimension. 402 00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:55,485 Cookies. Cookies. Cookies. 403 00:20:55,610 --> 00:21:00,730 Ooh. Oh, yeah. Ooh. 404 00:21:02,524 --> 00:21:04,433 What the hell was that? 405 00:21:04,447 --> 00:21:06,997 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 406 00:21:07,047 --> 00:21:11,597 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32072

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