All language subtitles for Quiz.Show.1994.720p.BluRay.x264.[YTS.AG]

So this is the 300.

The forward look.
1958 is here today.

That's the Ermine White.
Seventeen coats, hand-sanded.

- I'm sure it's the 17th coat that does it.
- Power steering, power windows,

power brakes, power mirrors.

The new auto-pilot will
make you virtually superfluous.

- I'm not sure I need a car for that.
- TorqueFlite transmission.

The standard that sets the standard.

And the top operates by
just the touch of a button.

- I can feel the wind in my hair already.
- You just out of school?

- Harvard Law School.
- That degree sells itself.

Do you live here in Washington?

- I've been working for the government.
- Oh.

- Not that it's permanent.
- Oh.

Care to get behind the wheel,
Mr. Goodman?

- Goodwin.
- Oh.

Just be careful with the cigar.

Used to be a man drove the car.
Now the car drives the man.

Go on. Turn it over.

- Here? Is it, uh...
- Go on. It's in neutral.

Listen to that power.

- This is the town for it.
- And with the new Bendix Electrojector,

we can rate this honey up to...

- 390 horsepower.
- Correct to the hoof.

If my wife knew I was here,
she'd kill me.

What a way to go.

- Yeah.
- I see you're admiring the seats.

That's pigskin and calfskin.

Hand rubbed.

Nicest piece of furniture I own
would be in the garage.

Try the radio.

The only thing that sounds
better than the engine is the radio.

The Russians have beaten
us into outer space.

You are listening
to the sound of Sputnik,

a satellite launched
this morning via rocket,

in orbit, right now,
directly over our heads.

A sound that says
all is not well with America.

America doesn't own the 300.

Oh, the shark, babe

Has such teeth, dear

And he shows them

Pearly white

Just a jackknife

Has old Macheath, babe

And he keeps it out of sight

You know when that shark bites

With his teeth, babe

Scarlet billows

Start to spread

Fancy gloves, oh

Wears old Macheath, babe

So there's never

Never a trace of red

Now on the sidewalk
Uh-huh, uh-huh

Ooh, Sunday mornin', uh-huh

Lies a body

Just oozin' life

And someone's sneakin'

'Round the corner

Could that someone

Be Mack the Knife?

Now did ya hear about Louie Miller

He disappeared, babe

After drawin ' out

All his hard-earned cash

And now Macheath spends

Just like a sailor

Could it be our boy's done
somethin' rash?

Ah, Jenny Diver

Hey, Suki Tawdly

Ooh, Miss Lotte Lenya

And old Lucy Brown

Oh, the line forms

On the right, babe

Now that Mackie's

Back in town

- What's this? Get this thing out of here.
- it's not my station.

- Yeah, yeah. Let's go.
- We're still hot on the right.

Watch it.

Oh, it's very exciting.
You know, my mother said that...

Hey, those are the questions.

Ah, he's got the questions there.

Like walking on the bottom of the sea,

as if I had drowned long ago.

- As if...
- Five minutes, Mr. Barry.

- We're ready, Mr. Barry.
- You ready, America?

Oh, thanks, Tim.

- All right, one minute.
- Move a little to your left.

Hey, video,
you done with the test patterns?

Camera one.

Okay, clear the floor, folks.

- Marty, you're still very hot.
- Light it up.

Lighting.

- Stand by. Thirty seconds.
- Give me his opening shots, please.

- Thirty seconds to air.
- I'm getting a glare on camera one.

You think you can adjust the barn door
on Jack's back light? Yeah, if you can.

Twenty seconds.

My light okay?
My nose doesn't look big?

- You look great, Jack.
- Last week I looked like a sun dial.

Jack, we're on countdown.

Coming to air in ten,
nine, eight, seven...

Stand by, timpani.
Stand by, opening film.

- Stand by, music. Stand by, announcer.
- ...six, five,

- four, three, two, one.
- Cue the timpani.

And fade up. Announce.

Geritol. America's #1 tonic.

Geritol, the fast-acting,
high-potency tonic

that helps you feel stronger fast,

presents the exciting
quiz program...

Twenty-One.

Brought to you by NBC,
the National Broadcasting Company,

broadcasting nationally coast to coast,

from New York to Los Angeles,

from Seattle to St. Petersburg

via a vast network of affiliates
crisscrossing the country.

Coming up next, Twenty-One,

starring master of ceremonies
Jack Barry!

Two players racing to score 21 points,

each in a soundproof television studio,

not knowing the other one's score,

-with $500 riding on each point...
- Damn it!

...as they both play...

Twenty-One!

And here's your host, Jack Barry!

Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

Due to a series of ties, Herbert Stempel,
our 29-year-old ex-G.I. college student,

must play at $3,000 a point,

which means that
in a few brief minutes,

he can either win as
much as $100,000,

the most money won on television
to date,

or lose everything he's won
in the last eight weeks.

You nervous?

It's only money.

Isolated in their soundproof studios,

neither player is aware
of the other's score.

I've been assured by our friends
at the Encyclopedia

that they've concocted some
real brain-breakers this week,

so we'll find out in the next 30 minutes

if the unstumpable
Herbert Stempel can be stumped.

Could I have the questions, please?

Thank you, gentlemen.

Remember, the questions on
Twenty-One are secured each week

in a Manhattan bank vault
till just before showtime.

So right now, let's meet Herbert
Stempel and his challenger as Geritol,

America's #1 tonic,
presents Twenty-One.

Welcome back to the show, gentlemen.

Mr. Peloubet, a very cordial
welcome to you, sir.

How are you, Herb?
How's everything in Queens?

- Fine, Mr. Barry.
- it's a nervous strain in the family, I bet.

- How's your wife holding out?
- She's fine, thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Barry, for asking.

As you know, Herb, the questions

are graded for difficulty
by the Encyclopedia Britannica...

I might add that my wife
no longer suffers from tired blood,

now that I've got her on Geritol.

That's fine.
Graded on a scale from one...

I personally vouch that
it's a fine product.

I'm sure our sponsor
will be pleased to know that, Herb.

Now, to get on with the show...

I'd like to take this
opportunity to thank Geritol

for giving a poor ex-G. I.
this amazing opportunity

to realize his dream
of a college education.

Now there's a face for radio.

Dick Peloubet back again
from sunny Miami, Florida,

and Herb Stempel.

- Yeah.
- Stempel is giving me a headache.

- Well, he sells Geritol.
- Have you seen the ratings?

- Well, they've evened out.
- I don't think he works anymore.

Stempel is an underdog.
You know, people root for that.

It's a New York thing.

Queens is not New York.

- Let's play Twenty-One.

Mr. Kintner's office, please.

Office of the President.
Could you hold, please?

-- Mr. Kintner's office.

Once inside the isolation booth,
neither player can see the other,

nor can they hear anything

until I turn their studios on,
which I'm gonna do right now.

All right, gentlemen?

- He's not hurting sales, is he?
- He just doesn't think he works.

- Why?
- Look, I don't know.

I guess the sponsor wants a guy
on Twenty-One

who looks like he'd get a table at 21.

You just tell him I said Stempel
has an everyman quality.

You know that whole American
dream thing? You, too, can be rich?

- If the ratings stay high.
- Very funny.

I'm just passing it along, sir.

Every schoolboy knows about
the midnight ride of Paul Revere.

For 11 points, how many lanterns
were hung in the Old North Church?

Who rode with Paul Revere?
Who lent him his horse?

Was it a mare or a stallion?

And what was the horse's name?

- Stand by, Joe, on Herbie.
- Kill the air.

Tommy, air off.

Uh...

-- A little tighter. Kelly, put the sign up.

Control booth. Uh, yeah, hold on, sir.

Dan, it's for you. It's Kintner.

Would you mind, Mr. Barry,
could I take the third part last?

That's fine.

The code was, uh,
"One if by land, two if by sea."

Therefore, it would have to be
two lanterns in the Old North Church.

That's right. And the second pan'.
Who rode with him?

- Dawes and Prescott.
- Dawes and Prescott.

What these books have conclusively
proven is that the difference

between men and women
is exactly 38 pages.

Can I quote you, Mark?

Not before I quote me.

His own quotes
are his greatest pleasure.

Did you hear the market dropped
30 points today?

There's a rumor Eisenhower died.

How would they tell?

Oh, please, don't get Dorothy
started on politics.

- There'll be a raid.
- Good night.

Good night, Dorothy. Sorry I'm late.
It's impossible out there.

- You can't get a cab without a dragnet.
- Eisenhower died.

- What?
- Professor Van Doren,

I took your course at Columbia,

Hawthorne, Original Sin
and the American Experience.

- Nixon is president?
- Well, as silly as it sounds,

it changed my life.

Was it the Hawthorne or the sin?

Perhaps you'd like to meet my son,
the unmarried Van Doren.

- Oh, where is Charlie?
- You're right again, Herb.

You got the first two parts correct.
Just three more for 11 points.

Excuse me. Are you the son?

- I'm Charlie. Pleasure.
- Elizabeth. The pleasures all mine.

It was a mare, Mr. Barry.

How did he know that?

Oh, there you are.

We're making our getaway, Charlie,
if you want a ride.

Have you ever watched one
of these quiz shows, Dad?

The $64,000 Question or Twenty-One?

For $64,000, I hope they ask you
the meaning of life.

Okay, Herb, finally: Name the man
who loaned Paul Revere his horse

for that fateful midnight ride.

The horse. Who loaned him the horse?

Okay, Herb, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ask for your answer.

Yes, Mr. Barry.

Look, just give him
what he wants.

I don't want to talk
to these agency guys.

So what do you want me to do,
Mr. Kintner?

You're a producer, Dan. Produce.

Would you like
more time, Herb?

- Right.
- If I may.

Herbie's dead.

Larkin? Deacon John Larkin?

That's correct for 11 points!

All right, Herb, take a deep breath
and relax, will you?

And we'll get back to the game
after this word from our sponsor.

Now, friends, I was just wondering,
what kind of a day did you have today?

Did you greet the sunrise
with plenty of vim, vigor and vitality,

only to feel the wind go out
of your sails just after lunchtime?

Do you find you're not having
as much fun as you used to?

This beats the subway,
huh, Mr. Stempel?

You said it.

- Hooray!
- Hey, Herbie!

You were the greatest tonight,
Herbie!

Great, Einstein!

Hey, the audience
really loves you!

Herbie, you remember me when!

Herbie! I remember you when!

- Hi, Ellen.
- Hey, Herbie, what color was she?

You looked so good
on TV tonight, Herbie!

You should have gone for 11
on the movies, Herbie.

You should win $100,000.

Hey, you were really
cookin' tonight, Stempel.

- Of course I watched it.
- You didn't go to the show?

The genius is home.
The rich genius is home.

I watched it on television
like everybody else.

Would you tell him that...

You were great tonight, Herb.

Come on. I wanna dance.
Dance with me.

Looking for the light

Would you ask him for me,
please, right now?

Of a new love

Mother wants to know why
you only went for 8 on the movies.

Because my real expertise
is pain-in-the-ass in-laws.

- Now would you get off the phone?
- I'm not gonna start with this.

Tell him that everybody
is watching that show.

Steve Allen is gettin' a busy signal

because my mother-in-law
won't shut up.

- Look, Ma, I got...
- ...drops dead,

-and I don't want to have to deal with it.
- I gotta go.

- All right. Goodbye.
- Call me before you go to bed.

That's all I'm sayin'.

What are you doin'? My father
paid good money for this suit.

He wore it to his own funeral.

You make it sound like
it was the suit that killed him.

You wanna know why Enright
makes me wear that suit?

Because it makes me
look like a schmuck.

Yeah, well, stop actin'
like a schmuck then.

You don't get it, do you? I go out
on the street, and everybody knows me.

Me. Herb Stempel. And they love me for
the same reason they used to hate me.

Because I'm the guy
who knows everything.

You should worship the ground I walk
on, what my family's done for you.

You wanna be worshiped?
Go to India and moo.

Without my family, you'd be
on that show in your underwear.

Things are gonna change
around here, boy.

What does that mean,
everything's gonna change?

You think I should
get my teeth capped?

What's gonna change, Herbert?

Everything's gonna change.

For us.

Hey, what the hell were you thinking?

Toby, that box is the biggest thing

since Gutenberg
invented the printing press,

and I'm the biggest thing on it.

We don't need your mother
and her money anymore.

Don't you wanna tell her where
to get off after 28 years?

Now would you please

dance with me?

Dancing in the dark

Until the tune ends

We're dancing in the dark

And it soon ends

We're Waltzing

In the wonder
of why we're here...

Because of a disagreement
with his commanding general,

Ulysses S. Grant was virtually placed
under arrest

for a brief time early in 1862.

Who was the commanding general
of the Union Army at that time?

Oh, I know that. Uh, Halleck.
General H.W. Halleck.

That's correct.

Who was Sebastian Cabot
and what country

- was he in the service of?
- Hey, Terry.

He was an explorer from Spain.

That's correct.

Who founded the former hub
of the Byzantine Empire...

Who's that guy in the corner?

- Constantinople?
- Constantine the First.

Charles Van Doren.

Charles Van Doren?
Like "Van Doren" Van Doren?

- He wants to be on Tic-Tac-Dough?
- I guess so.

- Meriwether Lewis.
- That's it.

Who was the editor
of the socialist paper...

Oh, this is the guy. This is the guy.

I got the guy
I got the guy

I got the guy!

I got the guy.

So I turned to astrophysics,
but of course, as you know,

all the great physicists were
great before the age of 25.

It just wasn't in the cards.

So I went to Paris
and wrote my novel about a patricide.

What?

A boy who kills his father.

My dad liked it quite a lot, actually,

although you could fill Yankee Stadium
with the world's mediocre novelists.

And your father is Carl Van Doren.

My uncle. My father
is Mark Van Doren, the poet.

He also teaches... I mean,
I also teach at Columbia. Literature.

- Same as Dad.
- Oh, same as Dad, huh? That's nice.

Could I ask you
a personal question, Professor?

Actually, I'm not a professor yet.
I'm just an instructor.

How much do they pay instructors
up at Columbia?

Eighty-six dollars a week.

You have any idea how much
Bozo the Clown makes?

Well, we can't all be Bozo the Clown.

No, no, not to question
your choice of profession. Not at all.

I'm questioning the values of a society
that pays somebody like you...

- What was it?
- Eighty-six dollars a week.

Eighty-six dollars a week. You plan
on raising a family, right, Professor?

- Yes, I hope to, very much.
- Can you imagine

raising a family on 86 dollars a week?

Eighty-six dollars a week.

And meanwhile, look at the crisis
of education in this country.

Well, yes, I agree.
It's a national problem.

So I understand you came down
to try out for Tic-Tac-Dough.

Well, my friends tell me I have
a good mind for this sort of thing.

They coaxed me...

How'd you like to be on Twenty-One?

- Twenty-One?
- Dan produces both shows.

You're young, you're clean-cut,
you're from a prominent family.

Kids would run to do their homework
to be like Charles Van Doren.

- What about Herbert Stempel?
- What about him?

Herb? Oh, I love him.

- People don't like him.
- Well, we love Herb.

- Kids don't look up to him.
- If you were a kid,

would you want to be an annoying
Jewish guy with a sidewall haircut?

- Well, I wanted to be Joe DiMaggio.
- Oh, yeah? Me, too.

- Especially after he signed for 100,000.
- Yeah, Al...

But you see, that's what this country
needs, is an intellectual Joe DiMaggio,

with the women and the money
and all of it,

but from his brain
instead of a bat and ball.

- Dan.
- I know. You're probably right.

Yeah, boy.
What are we gonna do here?

Well, I could take a whack at it.

Yeah, see, the problem, Professor, is
the old college try ain't gonna do it.

And you've seen Stempel.
The guy's unbeatable.

I have to admit Tic-Tac-Dough
seemed more feasible.

What if we were to put you
on the show...

Put you on Twenty-One and ask
you questions that you know.

Say, the questions that he answered
correctly on the test this morning.

- I don't follow you.
- Just thinkin' out loud.

I thought the questions
were in a bank vault.

- In a way, they are.
- You wanna win, don't you?

Well, I think I'd really rather
try to beat him honestly.

What's dishonest?

When Gregory Peck parachutes
behind enemy lines,

do you think that's really Gregory Peck?

That book that Eisenhower wrote?
A ghostwriter wrote it. Nobody cares.

It's not like we'd be
giving you the answers.

Just 'cause we know you know,
you still know.

Right. It's not like you're putting me
on the show, or Al,

and pretending to be
some sort of intellectual.

You have put in years of study
and erudition.

I mean, I'm just trying to imagine
what Kant would make of this.

I don't think he'd have a problem with it.

Think about what this could mean
for the cause of education.

Forty million people
will watch you on Twenty-One.

It's not like anybody
has to know. Just us three.

It just doesn't seem right.

I'd have to say no.

Just an idea.

Was that part of the test?

- So we're okay.
- You're gonna give it a try.

Well, I just want to make sure
it'll be, you know, not

the way we discussed it before?

- No. So pure, it floats.
- Not at all.

Okay? So we'll see you
Monday night then.

You'll come by
and see how the show works.

Great.

- All right. And we'll look forward to that.
- Monday night.

- Nice meeting you.
- Okay. Goodbye.

- Take care.
- Bye-bye.

- Reservations are at 9:00.
- Thanks. All right.

Boys.

- Hi, Jack.
- Hi, Jack.

- Who's that?
- That's Charles Van Doren.

- As in "Van Doren" Van Doren?
- Van Doren. Yes.

He wants to be on Tic-Tac-Dough.

Now, why would a guy like that
want to be on a quiz show?

Richard Goodwin. I'm an investigator.

An investigator.

Richard Goodwin
with the Subcommittee

on Legislative Oversight.

I'm calling because the rate schedules
for the Baltimore and Ohio

for the first four months of 1954

seem to be missing
from the documents you just sent me.

Oh, go get 'em, Dickie.
They're sweatin' now.

Do they know you were first in
your class at Harvard Law School?

Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.

I was first in my class
at Harvard Law School.

- There we go. What have you got?
- Forty-three seconds.

- Not bad.
- Railroad regulation.

Now that's political dynamite
he's playing with.

Oh, just an oversight.

- We're an oversight committee.
- Right.

The end of next week.
That'll be just fine.

And I'll send you a little
helpful reminder, okay?

You'll notice it 'cause it'll look
very much like a subpoena.

Oh!

Thank you.

You know, Dick, you stick with this...
I don't know.

Ten, fifteen years,

you could bring the Interstate
Commerce Commission to its knees.

Of course, by then,
there may not be rail roads.

You'll still be sittin' right there,
too, Alex.

- He's so sensitive.
- Truce.

Herb, you got ten points.

The category is "Explorers. "
How many you want to try for?

- I'll try for 11 points, Mr. Barry.
- Hello!

Gonna go all the way, huh?
All right.

I'm gonna name four spots
on the globe.

You name the explorer
who discovered them.

- First, Newfoundland.
- John Cabot.

Hi. I see you're really churning out
the chapters today.

Go away. No cigar in the bedroom.

- That's correct.
- Out.

The Cape of Good Hope.

No cigar in the bedroom.
We allow a television in the bedroom,

but no cigar in the bedroom.

- This. ..
- Bartolomeu Dias.

- He originally called it...
- You're right, Herb.

So today, chairman calls me aside.

MY big break, right?

He asks me to write him a speech

to deliver to the Kiwanis Club
of Arkadelphia, Arkansas.

You're good at that.
Gee, do we get to go there?

Yeah. Just like to know
where the challenge is.

You know? I feel like a race horse
whose gate won't open.

You didn't want the Wall Street job.

Yeah, I know.
Well, money isn't everything.

I'm not the one who came home
with the Chrysler catalog.

Give me the name of the explorer
who discovered Mozambique.

- Vasco da Gama.
- Vasco da Gama.

- Well...
- Maybe I should get on a quiz show.

At least I could get in my own bedroom.

It's just a job, Dick. It's not sex.

Vasco da Gama?

- Great show, Herbie.
- Terrific show. I really think so.

- Jack, wasn't Herb terrific tonight?
- Can't you see I'm busy, Dan?

- Okay.
- Oh, Herb, I'd like you to meet

next week's challenger,
Charles Van Doren.

Hello. I'm scared of you.
Boy, oh, boy, let me tell you.

Scared of me?

- More wine, Herb?
- Thank you, Dan. Why not?

You've earned it. How's that steak?

Nothing like a fine piece of meat.

You know, Herb, it's a hell of a thing.
I'm lookin' at the thing today.

- You know, the Trendex rating?
- Yeah?

Well, it's the damndest thing,
but you've plateaued.

Plateaued? What kind of word is that?

- What, plateaued?
- Plateaued.

Plateaued? Well, it's like you...

You mean people
don't like me anymore?

No, no, no,
it's not you per se.

- It's just... No, it's...
- Maybe I should get my teeth capped.

It's the nature of the show.

They've already seen you win,
and they want something new.

So what are you saying?
You think they want me to lose?

Well, don't you think that's natural?

Joe Louis was the champ for 12 years.
Nobody ever wanted Joe Louis to lose.

- Think about the cause of education.
- The cause of education?

I waited 29 years for this.

Now I'm supposed to take a dive
for the cause of education?

I didn't say take a dive.
Now I'm askin' you for your help.

Fine. Just let me play it honestly.

Will you keep your voice down?

Go ahead. Give me a number.
Give me a number.

Excuse me, sir.
Give me a number, a random number.

I don't know. Twenty-three?

Beethoven was 23 when he
composed his first piano sonata.

In 1923, Jack Bentley set the record
for average by a pitcher, batting .427.

There are 23 chromosomes

- in the human egg.
- Herb...

Also, the human sperm. Twenty-third
president, Benjamin Harrison.

Asian countries along
the 23rd parallel...

Look, don't start believing
your own bullshit, all right?

You wouldn't know the name of
Paul Revere's horse

if he took a crap on your lawn.

- She.
- What?

- It was a mare, remember?
- Look, you lose when I tell you to lose.

- But why now?
- it's an arrangement.

- It's always been an arrangement.
- But if you told me to lose before,

if you told me to lose right from
the beginning, that I'd understand.

That'd be the story of my life.
But why now? What did I do?

Look at the big picture. It's not like
television is gonna go away, you know.

- I mean, think about the future.
- You mean like a panel show?

Check. Look, I'm gonna do
what I can do, Herb.

But meanwhile, maybe you could use
somebody to talk to.

I'm gonna give you the name
of my analyst. Just send me the bills.

You know, I could be terrific
on one of those panel shows.

Here you go, sir.

Witty, off-the-cuff.
A Bill Cullen sort of thing.

Now the last category is movies.

We're gonna ask you
what won the Academy Award

for Best Picture in 1955.

You don't know it.
You answer On The Waterfront.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't... Don't do that.

Not Marty. I saw Marty three times.

The Best Picture from two years ago
and I don't know it?

Someone of your intellect,
and it's such a simple question.

- Don't you see the drama of that?
- Drama?

Herb, don't do this to yourself.

Please, let me lose on
a physics question, not Marty, Dan.

Don't do this to me. It's too humiliating.

For 70 grand, Herb, you can afford
to be humiliated.

Who was the captain of the Mayflower?

Christopher Jones.

- What year?
- 1620.

Here's Mr. Moto!

And we'll return to Mr. Moto after this.

Will Herbert' Stempel
become the first man

to win over $100, 000 on television ?

No, Herbert Stempel is not
going to win over $100,000.

Herbert Stempel
is going to take a dive!

Dad, the quiz is tomorrow.
If you're gonna talk to the

All right, big shot. So who bought
Manhattan Island from the Indians?

Peter Minuit.

- What year?
- 1626.

- How much?
- Twenty-four dollars.

...this week on Twenty-One.

- Now back to our program.
- This week on Twenty-One,

watch Herb Stempel be fed
to the Columbia Lions.

Watch Charles Van Doren eat his
first kosher meal on Twenty-One.

What are you doing?
Why aren't you dressed?

The child has to learn.

The child has to learn the depths
that humanity can sink to.

The tribes of
the Iroquois League, Mohawks,

- Cayugas, Oneidas...
- Twenty-four bucks for Manhattan.

First the Indians, then us.

- What's eatin' you?
- You know why they call them Indians?

Because Columbus

- thought he was in India.
- Mohawks, Cayugas...

They're Indians because
some white guy got lost.

You're gonna give him your ulcer.
Let him grow up with his own ulcer.

- He wouldn't let me practice my drums.
- Who won Best Picture for 1955?

- Marty.
- Thank you.

- Well, what's the problem?
- Lester, do me a favor.

Go in your bedroom, do your homework,
all right? Hey, hey!

With your books.

Homework with your books.

- They want me to take a dive.
- What?

They're going to ask me
what won the Best Picture for 1955,

and I have to answer
On The Waterfront.

They have to utz me with a question
any child knows.

How can they do that? I thought
the questions were in a bank vault.

They just put me in an isolation booth
and pump cyanide into it.

Herbie, they can't do that.

- How can they do that?
- Well, obviously, Toby,

this particular question
isn't in the bank vault.

- Why?
- How the hell do I know why?

Well, then the hell with them.
Just answer Marty then.

- I already agreed.
- Well, screw them.

Let them ask you a question you
really don't know. Good luck.

You're Herbert Stempel.
What are they gonna do to you? Huh?

Judo chop into
the throat. Once again, it's a judo chop-

You're right. What could they do to me?

Yeah.

- Screw 'em.
- Yeah.

Remember, call him "Jack"
as often as possible.

Jack.

Fifteen seconds.

Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

- Five.
- Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

- Watch your headroom.
- Coming to air in ten, nine,

- eight, seven...
- I'm Jack Barry.

- ...six, five...
- Steady, one.

- ...four, three...
- Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

- ...two, one.
- Fade up. Cue up.

Good evening. I'm Jack Barry.

So let's meet our
first two players as Geritol,

America's #1 tonic,
presents Twenty-One.

From New York City,
Mr. Charles Van Doren.

And returning with $69,500,
from Queens, New York...

Van Doren?

...Mr. Herbert Stempel.

- Think that's his son?
- Are you related in any way

to Mark Van Doren
of Columbia University...

I don't know. I guess so.

-...the famous poet and author?
- Yes, he's my father.

He is your father.

Yes, both he and my uncle Carl
have won the Pulitzer Prize,

and Dorothy Van Doren, the author
of the recent The Country Wife,

is my mother.

Okay, Herb, you know
something about Mr. Van Doren.

You have $69,500. Do you want to take
it and quit while you're ahead

or risk it by playing against him?

It's a tough decision, I know.

- What'll it be?
- I'll take a chance.

You will take a chance. All right,
then, here we go, gentlemen.

You sure Herbie's on
board with this?

Can I take the third part last?

I guess that Atahualpa was the leader
of the Incas at the time of the conquest.

- Correct.
- Wouldn't that be William Allen White?

- That's correct.
- I'd like to take the third part last.

His fourth wife was
Anne of Cleves.

He divorced Catherine
of Aragon.

- He divorced her.
- He beheaded Anne Boleyn.

Well, they all died.

Herb Stempel leads at this point
by 18 to 10.

- Herb?
- Yes, Mr. Barry?

The category is "Movies."
How many points you want to try for?

I'll try for three. Three points.

Which motion picture
won the Academy Award for 1955?

Marty.

Best Picture.

Marty.

Best Picture.

Marty.

He doesn't know it?

All right, Herb,
I'll tell you when your time is up.

I don't remember. I don't remember.

Are you sure you wouldn't want
to guess at it, Herb?

- Otherwise, I'll have to call it wrong-
- Wait.

Marty.

Your time is up, Herb.
I'll need your answer.

Best Picture...

...Of 1955...

On The Waterfront?

No, I'm sorry.
The answer is Marty.

Marty. It was Marty
that won the Academy Award

for Best Picture in 1955.

- Marty was Ernest Borgnine.
- Geez, what an easy question.

The Academy Award for 1955.
You lose three points.

You go back down to 15.
Better luck on the next round.

And now for you, Professor,
the category is...

Civil War.

How many points you want
to try for, from 1 to 11?

Civil War. That's a...
That's an awful big subject.

Well, here goes nothing.
I'll... I'll try for 11.

Eleven points will bring you to 21,
and you will be our new champion!

Because of a disagreement
with his commanding general,

Ulysses S. Grant was virtually
placed under arrest

for a brief time early in 1862.

Who was the commanding general
of the Union Army at that time?

Tough question.

It's just so oddly familiar.

Would you like
some more time?

- Whatever you can spare.
- All right.

Do you know the name?

Yes, I know his name. Halleck.
General H.W. Halleck.

You are our new
champion for $20, 000!

Come on out, Herb.
Come on out, Professor.

Wasn't that somethin', folks? Huh?

You feelin' all right?

Very good. Perhaps we can get
an ice pack out here for the professor.

I suspect his gray matter is red-hot.

I wonder if he's married.

Our congratulations for a wonderful
victory. Professor Charles Van Doren.

I am constantly amazed at the facts
these guys have at their fingertips.

- Tough questions tonight.
- Yeah. Oh, well, not really.

Wow, you were fantastic. Hey, you
better unlist your phone number.

Can you believe the pressure?
Look at him, he's soakin' wet.

- Is this guy a natural or what? Jesus!
- He's a natural.

Do you think he's involved
with anyone?

I don't know.

I'm gonna miss ya, Herb. You know,
I'm really gonna miss this guy.

Hey, Dan, listen,
that guy is really terrific.

We could easily beat out
I Love Lucy with him.

I know we can.

Let's get a photo here.
Oh, George. Here we go.

Charles Van Doren. Miles Bronfman,
an executive here at the network.

Oh, there we go.

So what do you think, Charlie?
You excited?

- Professor, can I interrupt you?
- Charlie, I just wanted to...

My son was in your father's class.

- Oh, really?
- Says he's a saint.

Charlie, I want you to meet
Bill Henderson. He promotes the show.

- Congratulations. Sensational.
- Thank you.

Now we have a clean-cut intellectual

instead of a freak
with a sponge memory.

See you next week, Charlie.

I don't even want to think about that.
I was so nervous.

Dan! Dan!

So pure, it floats? Hmm?

Are you kidding? it was great.

Go home and have a martini.
We'll talk in the morning.

Uh, I'm gonna take the stairs.

- How did you know he'd go for it?
- What would you do?

Meanwhile, it's okay
if you know the answer.

Yeah, so it's... My God, it's not like
I haven't worked hard.

I deserve $20,000
as much as anybody.

My God! $20,000.

The highest navigable lake
in the world is,

- Lake Titicaca.
- Lake Titicaca.

- That'd have to be Lake Titicaca.
- Correct for ten points!

Michel Montaigne. Around his neck,

Montaigne wore a medallion
which read, "What do I know?"

Hello. This is Herb Stempel
calling for Mr. Enright.

I'm terribly sorry. He's not in.

Our current reigning champion,
from New York, New York,

Mr. Charles Van Doren.

...twenty-four hours,
Geritol liquid, or now, in new...

It's the only town house
available in the Village.

I'll take it.

Will do. It's just that
he's out of the office right now...

This is Herb Stempel.

This is about the 17th time
I've called.

I guess William Pitt, the Elder.

You have 21!

Come to me, Charlie. Good. Smile.
Hold the bag right there.

Hold it right there. Good.

Here, Professor Van Doren turns in

the evidence of his amazing popularity,

thousands of letters a week
for the egghead turned national hero.

Winnings to date, $50,000!

Hey, Charlie! The check's in the mail.

-Is Mr. Enright in?
- I'm sorry. He's not right now.

This is Herb Stempel.
You tell him that

he promised that
he would call me back,

and if he doesn't,
something is going to happen.

- Do you understand that?
- I understand.

That's right. Okay, bye.

You just tell Mr. Enright
that if he doesn't want to talk to me,

maybe the district attorney
would like to talk to me.

If he wants to play hardball,
I'll play hardball.

Very well.

- Good morning, Mr. Van Doren.
- Hello.

And returning with $83,000,

our champion, after seven weeks,
Charles Van Doren.

Welcome to Twenty-One, gentlemen.

- Evening, Jack.
- Charlie...

Gentlemen, please.

It was a totally humiliating experience.
All my friends knew that I loved Marty.

It's one of my favorite films.

I saw it three times.
It's about a boy in the Bronx...

Mr. Enright will see you now.

Have a seat, Herb.

Thanks for comin' up.

I feel we have some unfinished
business we need to hash out.

I have some unfinished
business with you, too.

This whole thing with the grand jury
and the things you said,

well, they hurt me.

I can't tell you how...
Well, they hurt me deeply.

- I told the truth.
- There you go again.

You promised me, Dan.
You promised that you'd help me out.

Don't you think that I want to
help you more than I already have?

But the point is,
you've made it impossible.

Look, you want me to apologize?

- I want you to sign this statement.
- I apologize.

What kind of statement?

It clears me and the show
of any wrongdoing.

- What about the panel show?
- See? That's a perfect example.

I told you I'd do what I could,
and I did. I put your name on a list.

You put me on a list? That's it?

NBC owns our company.
Everything goes through them.

NBC bought your company
for two million bucks. What about me?

People watched me on that show.
Look. Look. Look at this.

- Oh, Herb, don't start...
- "He has become a friend

"in over 50 million homes,

"whose weekly visits the whole family
eagerly anticipates."

- I was a friend, too, in 50 million homes.
- Look, what can I tell you, Herb?

- Life is unfair.
- Life is unfair to me.

Life's not unfair to Charles Van Doren.

Remember how he snubbed me
after the show?

There'll be other shows.

What other shows?
I need the money, Dan.

What?
How could you need the money?

It's gone. I mean it's invested.
It's tied up. It's...

- Well, can't you talk to your broker?
- He's not a broker.

He's more of a bookmaker.
It's seed money.

He's setting up in Florida right now.
He says it's the next growth area.

You gave your money
to a bookie who skipped town?

I want what I have coming, Dan.
I have to get back on television.

- Herb, I'm gonna...
- Show me this list. Where's this list?

I submitted a list of 45 names.

They rejected three.
You were one of them.

That big uncircumcised putz is
on the cover of Time magazine,

and I can't even make
the top 42 for a panel show.

Look, maybe you could warm up
the audience before the show.

- I could throw you 50 bucks a week.
- Fifty bucks a week?

That should be me
on the cover of Time.

- Shit, Herb, just sign the statement.
- Charles Van Doren.

He wouldn't know the answer to
a doorbell if you didn't give it to him.

Sign the statement,
and get on with your life!

Sign the statement, Herb. Sign
the statement. Who cares if it's true?

- I'm giving you a chance.
- You promised me!

You get me that panel show,

or I'm gonna bring you down with me,
ya lousy, lyin' prick!

- You and Charles Van fuckin' Doren!
- No, you're not.

I'll just tell everyone that it's a fraud.
That'll warm 'em up.

"The fix is in,
this week on Twenty-One. "

When's my next appointment?

The cover of Time? His mug shot
will be on the cover of Time!

What the hell happened?

Oy.

Why am I the only one
workin' this mornin'?

You got here earlier, Mooie.

"Demonstrators stoned
Vice President Nixon's motorcade

"as it proceeded through Caracas."

Gee, Dick, what's the
New York Times say? Same thing?

Generally.

Most people who live in Washington
settle for the Washington papers.

Well, the Times
is the paper of record.

- Ah.
- Ooh.

Dick hopes someday to be confused
with an important person.

"Although the crowd was cordoned off
at a distance of a hundred yards,

"an unidentified Venezuelan struck
Nixon in the head with a thrown onion."

The Senators should sign this guy.

Did you guys know there was a grand
jury in New York on the quiz shows?

Jim Lemon can't even hit
the cutoff man.

This guy throws a 300-foot strike
with an onion.

- Have they come up with anything?
- They sealed the presentment.

- That's a no.
- Why do you say that?

A presentment's
a statement of findings.

If there were anything in it, they'd want
to release it to the public, right?

If the purpose is to make findings
public, then why keep it a secret?

Why seal
the presentment? It's illogical.

- It's a local matter.
- it's television.

Whoa. TV.

It's under our jurisdiction, right?

I mean, we have oversight
over all the agencies.

It includes the F.C.C.

You're gonna investigate
a dead investigation?

We're gonna put television
on trial. Television.

Everybody in the country'll
know about it.

- What do you have?
- There's somethin' there.

Mr. Chairman, I'll find it.

The networks,
pharmaceutical industry?

Cosmetics?

That's big game, son.
You don't go huntin' in your underwear.

Sir, I smell somethin'. At least give
me a chance to see what I can dig up.

Let me go up to New York.

This isn't some junket
for you to stay in a hotel

and see a Broadway show.

I'm givin' you exactly one week
to find something. You get that?

Unseal a presentment. I don't know.

I don't know how
you go about that. I've never...

Oh, here you go. Look at this.

Hasn't been a presentment under seal
in the State of New York since 1869.

That explains it.

- 1869?
- Yeah.

Counselor, I've reviewed in detail
the material submitted in your request.

A man's reputation
is coin of the realm to him.

I sealed this presentment

to protect the reputations
of those unfairly implicated

by a certain mentally
unstable finger-pointer.

That interest, along with
important issues of federalism,

dictate that I reject your committee's
request at this time.

Mr. Enright's office.
Mr. Enright?

It's Judge Schweitzer.

- Yes?
- Hi. Miss Mitchell?

- Uh-huh.
- My name is Richard Goodwin.

I'm with the Congressional
Subcommittee on Legislative Oversight.

We've been investigating
the quiz shows recently.

I was wondering
if I could ask you a quick question.

On! I've got people-

Could I just have
a moment of your time?

No.

I was curious how many
episodes you appeared on.

- Not very many. No.
- How...

Three weeks.

Did anyone ever ask you
not to talk to anyone?

The Today Show
with Dave Garroway,

and Dave's regular co-host,
Mr. J. Fred Muggs.

Dave's guests this morning are,
the Aga Khan,

Lyle Goodhue, inventor
of the aerosol spray can,

and quiz champion
Charles Van Doren.

Take a look at that.
Look at that. You see that?

Yes. Uh-huh.

Well, you have that conversation,
and I'm gonna begin the show.

I'll see you, Mr. Muggs.

Good morning.

- And good morning, Charlie.
- Good morning, Dave.

- How are you this morning?
- I'm fine, thank you.

I see we have an unusually
large crowd outside there this morning.

- So how long has it been now, Charlie?
- it's been nine weeks now.

- And you've won how much?
- $93,000.

- Hmm, so that's $10,000 a week.
- That's right.

Although last week, I know you were
preempted for another program.

Well, that's the problem with television.
The pay's good, but it's not that steady.

Don't remind me. I'm up for renewal.

So tell us about the book
you're working on.

Well, it's called Lincoln's Commando,

and I hope people will find it
as interesting as I do.

How do you think Honest Abe
would do on a quiz show?

- Honest Abe?
- Yeah.

Well, I think he'd do very well.

And, of course, on a show like this,
he'd be wonderful.

I'm sure he would.

Here we are, Professor.

Yeah, I'm just...
I just have to tie my shoe.

- Hi, Mr. Van Doren.
- Hey, Mr. Van Doren.

- Oh!
- Hey!

- Oh!
- Good morning. Hi.

- Good morning, Mr. Van Doren.
- Good morning.

- Where's the monkey?
- I saw you on TV this morning.

Is Thomas Merton Episcopalian
or Catholic?

Catholic.

Hello. Are you here for office hours?

Oh, no. I'm Richard Goodwin.

- Did Clark Byse call?
- Clark Byse? No, he didn't.

See, I'm up from Washington.
He suggested I might look you up.

- You're not a stockbroker, are you?
- Lawyer, which is bad enough.

- Professor Byse taught me Contracts.
- Then we have something in common.

He taught me my backhand.

I'm with the House Subcommittee
on Legislative Oversight.

I've been swarmed by
stockbrokers lately.

I feel like a girl with a bad reputation.

The Committee has jurisdiction
over television.

I'm sorry. Please have a seat.

Thank you.

You must have done very well
at Harvard. Clark doesn't like anyone.

I was, uh, actually first in my class.

- You make it sound like an affliction.
- Well...

Did you clerk?

- Frankfurter.
- Oh, really? Hmm.

It's nothin'. I tell you,
what I love is what you do, literature.

Well, hell, if I was first
in my class, I'd get a tattoo.

So, what brings you
to New York, Dick, literature?

Let me ask ya.

Did you ever notice anything out of the
ordinary about the quiz show you're on?

What?

Anything suspect. Anything at all.

You mean besides its popularity?

What I'm hoping is that

you might be able to give me
some kind of road map here.

- I feel like we speak the same language.
- Well, of course.

Anything I can do to help.

- Oh, um, Mr. Van Doren.
- Yes? Yes, yes.

I'm sorry. I'm in your class
on the Romantics, and...

Of course you are.

I... Actually, I'm auditing it
because you've been on television.

- Do you... Should I come back later?
- Oh, if you don't mind...

- I'll come back.
- I tell you what.

Why don't you meet me tomorrow?

- I'll take you to lunch at the Athenaeum.
- The what?

I'm sorry. The Athenaeum Club
at Forty-third and Fifth?

Say, tomorrow at noon?

- Lunch at The Athenaeum.
- At noon.

- Great.
- Great. See you then.

I wanted to talk to you
about Ode on a Grecian Urn.

"Beauty is truth, truth, beauty.

"That is all ye know on earth
and all ye need to know."

Does he really mean that
about beauty and truth?

Why foster child? I don't under...

Congress investigates communists.

Congress investigates mobsters.
That is not me.

Yeah, well, look on the bright side.
You'll be on national television.

- That's a joke, Charlie.
- Well, that's not funny.

- Charles Van Doren.
- it's just not funny.

Hey! Charles Van Doren!

- How ya doin'?
- I'm worried about this.

- Yeah, well, look, I... Who was that?
- it's just some guy.

Well, look, I already know about
this guy Goodwin,

and I'm on top of it. So trust me.

- You callin' Information?
- You don't understand.

What are you dialin' for?

- Oh, for information?
- I have a name.

Charles Van Doren,
he's dialin' for information.

Hey, Chuck, what do you do?
Chuckie! Answer this question.

I'm sorry. I gotta go.

What street do I live
on in Brooklyn, huh?

- Did you tell him anything?
- No, no, I didn't...

I gotta go. I gotta go! I've gotta go!

Come on! Let's go! Hey, Chuck, how ya
doin'? How ya holdin' up? All right?

Hey, can I get an autograph
for my wife?

Give me an autograph for my wife!

Come on, Charles, don't be a snob.
Give me an autograph for my wife!

So Sandra says
what's ever on her mind.

And you've been married how long?

Five years. You?

Oh, no. I'm supposed to be
fixed up with this girl

on the cover of the new
Harper's Bazaar, but...

- Well, you know how that is.
- Yeah.

- Waldorf salad for you, Mr. Van Doren.
- Oh, thank you.

- And a Reuben sandwich.
- Thank you.

- So...
- Oh.

What do you know about this
grand jury investigation, Charlie?

Oh, I remember Dan mentioned
something about this,

that it was all some...
Some wild goose chase.

Uh, a political thing.

They talk so fast in that business.
Half of it goes right past me.

Dan?

Enright. He's really the one to talk to.

- You know if he testified?
- Uh, uh, more water?

You can reach him at NBC.
Dan Enright.

So, how long have you been
with this committee, Dick?

Six months. Seemed like a good way
to postpone the inevitable.

Postpone the inevitable.
ls there a spot for me?

I mean Wall Street.

Oh.

So, back to this grand jury business.

- I'm wondering...
- Oh.

- Dad.
- Charlie.

Excuse me, Frank.

This is a surprise.

How are you, son? We share an office,
and I never see you anymore.

I'm there, Dad.
I'm just hiding behind your reputation.

No, I'm serious.
We all miss you at home.

Please, join us.
Dad, this is Dick Goodwin.

He's up from Washington.

- Narrow escape.
- Dad doesn't like Washington.

A swamp that traded malaria for politics.

- What's the special?
- it's the Reuben.

Reuben sandwich is the only
entirely invented sandwich.

Won the National Sandwich
Contest two years ago.

- A salient point. Who invented it?
- Reuben Kay.

- At a poker game in Omaha.
- I knew there was a "K" in Nebraska.

Unfortunately,
they have the sandwich here,

but they don't seem to have
any Reubens.

- Touché.
- Dick's a protégé of Clark Byse.

I just finished a clerkship
with Justice Frankfurter.

Of course you did.

Frankfurter collects brains
the way other people collect stamps.

Did you happen to see
the show Monday, Dad?

Monday.
Uh, we were with Bunny Wilson.

Oh, no, it's nothing. Just there
was a question about Hawthorne.

Oh, well, you know how it is
with Bunny once he gets going.

So, Dick, Charlie invite you
to his poker game yet?

He's a helluva poker player.

We have a regular game
Thursday nights,

just some friends I went to school with.

You're welcome to come over
next week.

Are you a gambler, Dick?

I don't know if I'm a gambler.
I know which end of an ace is up.

Well, Dick, if you look round the table
and you can't tell who the sucker is,

it's you.

Yeah, Dan Enright, please.

Uh, Dick Goodwin.

Uh, no. Actually, I'll just call back.
Thanks.

"Name the three heavyweight
champions who preceded Joe Louis."

Oh, I know that.
Uh, Jim Braddock.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Max Baer.

And...

- Damn.
- Primo Camera.

- Primo Camera. Of course.
- Yeah, good old Primo.

I was there that night at the Garden,
the night Baer beat him.

- Really?
- Yeah.

The big guinea.
12 times Baer knocked him down.

Al, I've been thinking.

Maybe you shouldn't
give me the answers anymore.

Now what do you wanna
do that for, Professor?

Charlie, you're doin'
the right thing, really.

Everybody's makin' money.

Well, what if you just
gave me the questions

and I could look up
the answers on my own?

I mean, don't you think that'd be...
Well, be less egregious.

Only in the balcony.

You know about that.

All right. Now, your consequence...

Doesn't want the answers anymore.
Just wants the questions.

- Who?
- "Who." The Great White Hope.

Dan, what the hell is "egregious"?

He just wants the questions?

Excuse me. Mr. Noland?

- Yeah?
- My name is Richard Goodwin.

I'm with the Congressional
Subcommittee on Legislative...

Ah.

No, no, I don't wanna say
anything. No, can't help you.

I told them
everything I had to say.

Everything I knew, I told them.

Yeah?

Mr. Stempel. My name is Dick Goodwin.

I'm an investigator with the
Subcommittee on Legislative Oversight

of the U.S. Congress.

Yeah?

Did you recently testify
before a grand jury?

Yeah.

Well, if you have a minute,
I'd really like to talk to you about it.

Gee.

Finally. I knew it was
just a matter of time.

Come in.

Didn't you go to City College?

- Harvard.
- Toby.

This is my wife, Toby.
This is Mr. Goodwin.

He's an investigator from
the United States Congress.

Would you like a cup of coffee, Mr...
I already got the pot on.

I tell ya, that sounds great, actually.

And bring some rugulach
if there are any left.

I love my wife, but it's like
livin' with a plague of locusts.

If Charles Van Doren told 'em
what I told 'em,

do you think this whole grand jury thing
would be squashed?

- Quashed. It's not "squashed."
- Not in a million years.

Quashed, okay?

What exactly did you
tell the grand jury?

- Have one.
- No, thanks.

Lester, will you
knock it off for 10 minutes?

Come on. They're a Jewish delicacy.
Before Toby eats it.

- I'm retainin' water for your information.
- You and the Grand Coulee Dam.

Come on. You don't know
what you're missing.

I'm quite familiar with rugulach,
thank you.

- How'd a guy like you get into Harvard?
- Capped teeth.

Lester.

Herb, what exactly did you
tell the grand jury?

No, you can't ask me that.
It's... It's sealed. It's illegal.

Well, just between us.

They made me take a dive. Marty.

They made me lose on Marty
just to humiliate me.

- Who made you take a dive?
- Dan Enright.

He told me I had plateaued,
that the ratings had plateaued.

A sinking ship and the rats stayed.

Do you think in a million years
I wouldn't know Marty,

and meanwhile, Charles Van Moron

would be on the show
11 weeks in a row?

I don't understand.
How could they make you take a dive?

What?

Why didn't you just answer Marty
if you knew it?

What, and throw away
his future in television?

Would you please go inside
and tell Gene Krupa to take five?

Lester. Lester!

You're so naive. It's a fix.
It's all... It's all a fix.

A setup. I made a study of it.
They always follow a Jew with a Gentile.

And the Gentile wins more money.
What is that, a coincidence?

Herb, you're saying this whole grand
jury thing was because of you.

You know what you have to do?
You have to nail Van Doren.

Are you gonna nail Van Doren?

Look, first of all,
I'm not here to nail anyone, okay?

This isn't McCarthyism.

Listen, think about
what McCarthyism did for McCarthy.

Let me ask you something.

Do you have any corroborative
evidence to what you're saying?

Listen to me. Don't make necessarily

the mistakes that I might have
made in life.

Think about your career.

You nail Van Doren,
it'll be bigger than Sputnik.

It'll be like a big, blond Sputnik crashing
right down on his, whew, friggin' head.

Charlie? Hi. Dick Goodwin.

I hope you don't mind.

The English Department gave me
your number up in Connecticut.

Yeah. Look, I met with
Herbert Stempel yesterday.

He told me a couple of things.
I'm kinda curious...

What?

Sure. Well, what train was that?

Yeah, just hold on.
I got a pen right here.

Grand Central Station.

Housatonic.

Cornwall, Connecticut.

I will...I will... I'll get right on the way.

- Dick, I'm glad you could make it.
- Charlie.

That's some snappy-looking Mercedes.

Come around the back.
We're just about to eat.

What's that, the 300?

Yeah, it's my father's birthday,
so I bought myself a car.

- It's only got 110 miles on it.
- The show's treatin' you well, huh?

Dorothy, your tomato salad is fabulous.

- What's your secret?
- Manure.

Now, look at Thomas.

Thomas is aerodynamically designed
to go directly to heaven.

- And who are you?
- Dick. Goodwin.

- I'm a friend of Charlie's.
- Ah.

- You sound like you're from Boston.
- Brookline, actually.

The wrong girl for me.

- You know I didn't.
- You did.

We have horseradish
growing in the garden.

Well, that's true.

- How long have you been married?
- 20 years.

Aunt Irita had an affair
with Wendell Willkie.

Hmm?

"Now see summer bloom upon this lea.
Three score rings around this tree.

"Once green, now bare.

"Once lush, now sere.

"Consoled only that I am

- "planted here."
- You certainly are.

- "Roots thick..."
- And old.

- "...and deep,"
- And doddering.

- "...assuage my woes..."
- A termite nibbles at my toes.

- Et tu, Bunny?
- Charlie, is Jack Barry single?

I think so.

My roommate has a crush on him.
She wants you to introduce her.

What's Dave Garroway like?

- Cheap.
- "Cheat"?

Wasn't I talking?

You were, yes.
Talking and talking and talking.

Charlie's famous, like Elvis Presley.

Like Leopold of Belgium,
usurped by his son before his time.

I suppose that makes me
King Baudouin?

Next birthday,
you all get a dirty limerick.

I certainly hope so.

So how's it feel, Charlie?

Well, I can't even
eat dinner in a restaurant anymore.

People follow me inside to discover
what kind of "brain food" I eat.

In my day, it was flagpole-sitting
and swallowing goldfish.

Last week alone,
I had 11 proposals of marriage.

Perhaps you should
accept one of them.

To think they unleash you
on those impressionable young minds.

Why not? He's 33 years old.

Jesus Christ had a girlfriend
at 33 years old.

- Look how that turned out.
- And he shared an office with his father.

I'm sure they're all very nice girls.

In that case, perhaps I should
appear on a quiz show.

The money, meanwhile,
no one knows what to do with it.

Though every stockbroker in New York
seems eager to try.

Why don't you just put it in the bank?

That's what I've always done
with my prize money.

No, it's just...
You don't understand, Dad.

There are all sorts of tax implications.

I think I can understand
the concept of taxes.

At this level, it's a bit more complicated.

And at my level?

I never thought of myself
having a level, Charlie.

What level might that be?

I mean, it's not as if the money fell
into my lap. I worked for it.

Work? on!

Millions of people watch
the game shows, Dad.

Then I suppose we've become
a nation of proctors.

- Mark.
- Help me out here, Harvard.

Uh...

Claim victory and depart the field.

We don't have a television.

Why on earth
would we need a television?

How much money is it again?

- What?
- They don't have a television.

You haven't seen the show?

We were supposed to watch it
the other night at Thurber's...

Even Thurber has a television,
and he's blind.

How much is it now, Charlie?

- $122,000.
- What?

She heard that all right.

Well.

"Some rise by sin
and some by virtue fall."

Measure For Measure.

"To do a great right, do a little wrong."

- Merchant Of Venice.
- it's this game our family plays.

"O, what men dare do!
What men may do!

"What men daily do,
not knowing what they do!"

Much Ado About Nothing.

"Things without remedy
should be without regard,

"what's done is done."

"Things without all remedy." Macbeth.

"How ill white hairs
become a fool and jester."

Now, Professor, open your presents.

- Well, what have we here?
- Aftershave.

Aw.

Uh-huh.

Oh, now.

Oh, my God. How swell.

I guess I'm surrounded.
Thank you, Charlie.

I thought you might like it, Dad.

So do you remember
Herbert Stempel?

Remember him?
I still can't believe I beat him.

Stempel tells me that Dan Enright
made him take a dive from the show.

What?

He tells me that Dan Enright
made him take a dive.

- That's ridiculous.
- Yeah?

A little odd, though, don't ya think?

I mean, losing on
such an easy question?

You know, frankly, Dick,
if Stempel can just run around

and smear a man like Dan Enright
to the United States Congress...

No, nobody's smearing anybody.

I'm just trying to
figure out the truth here.

Could you just untie the bowline there
and shove us off?

All right.

Dick, could you raise
the jib for us, please?

The jib. Just... Yeah.

Do you remember what it was like for
guys like us when we were in school?

Being smart was like being cross-eyed.

But you should see the letters I get.

Kids are excited about... About books

and learning and general knowledge.

Dan Enright had a lot to do with that.

Yeah, but don't you think
he wanted you to win?

I mean, if you look at the ratings,
they're staggering.

Well, what did he say,
they "made" him take a dive?

Well.

Well, how did they "make" him
take a dive anyway?

He didn't want to jeopardize any
future he might have in television.

Yeah, well...

Anyway, how many people did you say
testified in front of the grand jury?

Why? What's your point?

Well, if what you're saying is true,
then everybody lied.

- Hi. Al Freedman.
- Hi. I'm Danny.

Good to see you. I'm sorry for the delay.
Come on in. Have a seat.

Would you like a cup of coffee
or a soft drink?

- Anything?
- I'm fine. Thanks.

- You sure?
- We're very well stocked up here.

- Nothing?
- I'm fine.

No trouble.

I understand you've spoken to
Charles Van Doren.

- And Herbert Stempel.
- Oh, I was afraid of that.

He says and I quote,
that he was made to "take a dive."

Believe me, I'm quite familiar
with Herb's allegations.

I could recite them by rote.

46 witnesses swore up and down
Herbie's a lying tub of shit.

- Al.
- Sorry.

- Why the big secret?
- Well, to protect people's reputations.

I mean, frankly, you never know what
the public is gonna believe, you see?

There's that and...

And what?

Look, Dick, I... Can I call you Dick?

Sure, Dan.

After the loss, Herb came to
visit me in an agitated...

Well, I suppose the clinical term
would be... What?

- The guy's nuts.
- Manic.

- He was in a manic frame of mind.
- Manic.

And I took the precaution
of tape recording that meeting.

Al, would you play the tape?

Listen to this.

You get me that panel show

or I'm gonna bring you down,
you lousy lyin'' prick.

You and Charles Van fuckin' Doren.

What is this, Herb?
Are you blackmailin' me?

I need that money, Dan.
I need to get back on television.

You get me that panel show

- or I'll tell everyone it's a fraud.
- You know that's not true.

Who cares if it's true?

"The fix is in
this week on Twenty-One."

Okay.

So he needed more money
after all that money he won.

Gambling. And that's the least of it.

I mean, if the judge was protecting
anyone, he was protecting Herb.

Given... Well...

- His medical condition.
- His medical condition?

- Oh, yeah.
- Al, get the bills.

I mean, put yourself in his shoes.

He's no longer in the public eye.

He's remembered,
if he's remembered at all,

as "the guy that lost to Van Doren."

Television is like a monkey on his back,

and we're not talking about someone
who is necessarily stable to begin with.

- No.
- So you paid for his psychoanalysis?

- I felt responsible.
- You're too nice.

- No, I'm not.
- if it were up to me,

I would've sent him to the skating rink
the fast way.

- Five sessions a week?
- Five, and not a dent.

Herb is so angry with himself for losing,

and it was on
such a simple question, too.

- Marty.
- Marty. His ego couldn't handle it.

He blames Charles Van Doren
for his downfall.

And, of course,
the real downfall of Herbert Stempel

- has always been Herbert Stempel.
- Herbert Stempel. Absolutely.

You met him.
Does he seem stable to you?

Well, I definitely have an inkling
of what you're talking about.

He told me this whole story about
how when a Jew is on the show,

he always loses to a Gentile, and then
the Gentile wins more money.

Right? Who could
dream up a scheme like that?

A symptom of his Van Doren fixation.

The thing of it is, I looked it up. It's true.

We could check it.

Herbie, I wanna go home.

I took you to dinner, didn't I?
Just hold your horses.

This is ridiculous.

Where have you been?

Why don't you return my phone calls?
Did you talk to Van Doren?

I'll tell you who I spoke to.
I spoke to Dan Enright.

Forget Enright.

Goodwin, 1535.

You threatened to blackmail him
if he didn't get you on a panel show?

What? When? I didn't blackmail him.
What are you talking about?

- He's got the whole thing on tape.
- He promised me that panel show.

What tape?
What are you talking about?

Listen, Goodwin, don't think
I don't see what you're doin'.

You're building this great case
against me.

A pile of evidence, an army of witnesses
against me, Herb Stempel.

And meanwhile,
you and Van Doren are off

giving each other the secret
Ivy League handshake.

Herb, you're makin' me look like a jerk.

I know what they're doin' to you.
They did it to me.

Just because you went to Harvard,

you think you have
some stake in the system?

He didn't pay for your psychiatrist bills?

The point is
Van Doren got the answers.

He did not get the answers.
If anything, he gave them the answers.

I know he got the answers.

Ah, bullshit, Herb.
How do you know he got the answers?

Because I got the answers.

You got the answers?

What do you mean,
you got the answers?

Not very many answers.

I just wanted to get out from
under the financial thumb of my in-laws.

I don't understand.
I thought you were a victim in all this.

I didn't hold myself up to be
the crowned prince of education.

I didn't preen myself
on the cover of Time magazine

with a face full of phony humility...

Good night, Herb.

Toby.

Toby, where do you think
you're going without me?

You never told me you got the answers.

I knew the answers to
a good part of the questions anyhow.

The ones I didn't, they fed me.

- I'm sure I must've mentioned it.
- it's not a thing you mentioned.

What else did you do
that you didn't mention?

Enright sat right in our kitchen and said,
"How'd you like to make $25,000?"

I don't know any man in America
who would turn that down.

- It's dishonest.
- Let me tell you about honest.

You know what
my father used to tell me?

"Work hard and you'll get ahead."
Was that honest?

Look at Geritol.
"Geritol cures tired blood."

And I'm the one
who's supposed to be ashamed.

You never said that you were
getting the answers.

Let them believe whatever they want.
What do I care?

- What do I care if a bunch of saps...
- I was one of those saps, Herbert.

He got the answers.

Now why would he admit that?
He's only implicating himself.

- Well, maybe it's the truth.
- Yeah, well I have a hunch it is the truth.

Though meanwhile, we'll have to
have him testify in a straitjacket.

But Van Doren isn't crazy.
Maybe you should put him on the stand.

- What's Van Doren got to do with this?
- They gave Stempel the answers.

Why would Van Doren be
any different?

You have no idea what
these people are like.

It's all Thurber and Trilling
and Bunny Wilson.

Bunny?

Yeah, Edmund Wilson.
That's what they call him.

Well, that doesn't mean you have to.

Look, my point is, why would a guy
like that jeopardize everything he has?

- Which is what?
- Sandra,

the man is on
the cover of Time magazine.

He's not gonna be on the cover of
Time as Mark Van Doren's son, Dick.

Boxing. How many
points would you like to risk?

I'll risk eight points, Jack.

All right. For eight points, name
the three heavyweight champions

immediately preceding Joe Louis.

- Well, my father would know that.

- That'd be James J. Braddock.
- Correct.

Max Baer lost the belt to Braddock.

Yes. And the fellow Baer beat?

Oh, now, I remember
he knocked him down 12 times

before he finally succumbed.

- Would you like to guess?
- Primo Camera.

Correct. You have 21.

Second base is Eddie Stanky.

No, it's Red Schoendienst.

I hear that Pat Boone
plays on the White Shoes.

- No, that's Daniel Boone.
Ace-King bets.

- Check.
- Check.

Bet five.

- I'll raise that a dollar.
- I'm out.

You better watch out, Fred.

Dick's one of the brightest
young lawyers down in Washington.

Great. All my money already
goes to Washington. Taxes.

- It's nothin' but organized theft.
- No, property.

- What?
- "Property is theft," I believe.

That's the locus classicus
from Proudhon.

I warned you.

- Oh, great, another one.
- Ace bets five.

- And another one.
- I'll see that.

- What are you working on, Charlie?
- I raise $5.

I'd love to know
what you got under there, Charlie.

The truth has its price.

Everything has its price.

So where'd ya prep, Dick?

Dick's up here on a witch hunt.
He thinks Twenty-One is rigged.

Is it?

Hey, which face cards are
in profile, without looking?

Jack of spades,
king of diamonds, jack of hearts.

Can we play cards? It's bad enough
my wife makes me watch this crap.

Okay, you're writing a book on Lincoln.
The night he was shot,

who was the doctor at his deathbed?

Joseph K. Barnes was the doctor.

- Whoa.
- Who was the detective on the case?

The detective was Clarvoe.
John Alexander Clarvoe.

- Who embalmed him?
- Come on.

Black or brown, Charles D. Brown.

Then he was murdered
with estate taxes. Let's play.

- You're not impressed?
- Ace checks.

Check.

Whoa!

Now I'm impressed.

Go ahead, Dick, call 'em.

What do you say, Dick?

I know you're lying.

Whoa-oh.

Bluffing. The word is bluffing.

Too rich for my blood.

- Try Geritol.
- Sandwich time.

How 'bout a drink?

This game could use a little juice, huh?

Charlie? Charlie?

The only people who can implicate you
directly are all in this room.

Just think about that.

You think that nudzh is gonna
get me to talk?

He may be a nudzh,

but he was also first in his class
at Harvard Law School.

- Oh, Harvard?
- Will you please stop that?

- Al, stop it.
- Sorry.

Charlie, they could kill me,
I wouldn't talk.

They could subject me
to any kind of torture...

- The rack?
- Thank you.

They could put me on the rack...

- The iron maiden?
- Whatever.

The bastinado?

Charlie, I'm not tellin' 'em
a goddamned thing.

- Correct me, Dan, if I'm wrong.
- No, you're right.

Plus, what did you do wrong?

Everybody knows the magician don't
saw the lady in half.

- It's not exactly the same thing.
- it's entertainment.

I am a college professor.

They need the professor in make-up.

Oh, Well.

Aren't you Charles Van Doren?

I'm sorry, Dad.
I didn't mean to wake you.

I just had to get out of the city.

You're always welcome, Charlie.

Sometimes it's hard sleeping in the city.

I hope you don't mind.
I took the rest of the cake.

You look like you could use it.

Under a little strain lately.

That's the way it always is
when you're finishing a book.

Oh, no, actually,
it's the television show.

Oh, Jesus, I just realized,
we watched your show.

Did I tell you? Mother and I
moved the television to the den.

- No, no, you didn't mention it.
- Anyway, what was it?

Something about
the Galapagos Islands?

You know what? I'll try some of that.

The origin and the destination
of the voyage of the Beagle.

That's right. Biology for six points.

Good God, the pressure.

All those lights, the money,
those strange little booths,

that man talking so fast,
like being in a bull ring.

I don't think I could remember my name.

You know, I always had a good head
for that kind of stuff.

It's just amazing that
you could make it look so easy.

But your mother always said you were
the actor in the family, Charlie.

Yeah.

As long as it doesn't interfere
with your teaching, why not?

Dad.

Huh? What?

Something on your mind?

You never told me you felt pressure...

You know, like finishing a book.

Oh-ho, are you kidding?

When I was finishing the Hawthorne
book, I tossed and turned so badly

your mother threatened
to check into a hotel.

Oh, sure.

You know, I think the old bird's
finally getting the hang of this.

You know, I just had
the strongest memory.

Coming home from school,
going to the fridge.

Ice-cold bottle of milk,
big piece of chocolate cake.

It was just the simplicity of it.

I can't think of anything that will
make me feel that happy again.

Not till you have a son.

That would
be our most difficult question

on American literature.

For 11 points, I'll read you lines
from America's greatest poets.

You must identify the author. First,

"I hear America singing,
the varied carols I hear. "

That would be Walt Whitman.

That's right. Second,

"I shot an arrow in the air.
It fell to earth I know not where. "

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
- Right again, Jim.

Finally, "Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul. "

That is actually
by one of my favorite poets,

Emily Dickinson.

I'm sorry, Jim.

Did... Did you say Emily Dickinson?

Oh! Well, yes. All right.

-...Dickinson.
- I'm sorry, Jim.

Did... Did you say Emily Dickinson?
Oh! Well, yes.

...favorite poets, Emily Dickinson.

I'm sorry, Jim.

Did... Did you say Emily Dickinson?

Oh! Well, yes.

- Who is it?
- Mr. Snodgrass?

- Yeah?
- My name is Richard Goodwin.

- Yeah?
- Hi.

I'm a Federal Investigator
on a congressional subcommittee.

The committee's been
investigating the quiz shows.

I was just looking at a kinescope of
your appearance on Twenty-One,

and I noticed...

Mr. Snodgrass?

- This is good.
- Yeah? What is it?

- Drive on by.
- What?

- Go around to the back entrance.
- Okay.

Mr. Kintner's office.

Excuse me. Do you think he might
see me before the peacock molts?

Who are you with again?

I'm with the U.S. Congress.
Perhaps you've heard of them.

Oh, your name is Gold... Excuse me,
not you. Your name is Goldwyn?

- Goodwin.
- Yes.

Please have a seat, Mr. Goldwyn...
Goodwin.

- I'll see if he's available.
- Right.

Yes, that's red, long stem. Thank you.

Well, I'm sure he'd be available
if my name were Geritol.

Perhaps if you could
come back another time.

- Good night, Rose.
- Good night, Mr. Kintner.

Mr. Kintner.
My name is Richard Goodwin.

I'm with the Congressional
Subcommittee on Legislative Oversight.

Congratulations.

- How's Chairman Harris?
- He's fine.

Still in that sand trap where I left him?

I am here to give you
a chance to cooperate.

We'll cooperate in any way we can.
Now will you excuse me?

Twenty-One is rigged,
and I can prove it.

Who won, how long they were on,

it was all a scheme
to keep the ratings up,

and NBC made millions off it.

Young man,

I am the President of the
National Broadcasting Company.

I have no idea what the day-to-day
operations of Twenty-One are.

Does Chairman Harris know every
little thing you're up to?

I have Enright cold.
And, sir, that means I have you.

- Really?
- Really.

Then why are you the one
that's sweating?

This week's challenger
from New York, New York,

welcome Mrs. Vivienne Nearing.

And returning this week with $139,000,
our champion, Charles Van Doren.

A very cordial welcome to the show,
Mrs. Nearing.

- Mr. Van Doren.
- Jack.

You're back again with
a lot of money at stake.

Mrs. Nearing, let's tell the Professor
and our audience

a little something about you.

A sometimes painter,
pianist and Double-Crostics fan,

she has a Bachelor's Degree
from Queens College, New York,

and a M.A. and L. L.B. from Columbia.

She and her husband Victor
are lawyers in New York.

Quite a bean
inside that pretty head, huh?

She's terrifying.

All right, I think you both know
how to play the game.

Don't forget to put your earphones on.

The very best of luck to both of you.
Let's play Twenty-One.

Some of the most important airplanes
of World War II were the following,

the P-40, the P-47, the P-51,

the B-24, the B-25 and the B-26.

Give me the nicknames
the Air Force gave to these planes.

That's much harder than
the question they asked that woman,

and hers was 10 points.

Do you know
the names of those planes?

Of course not. Sit down.

Who would know the names
of those planes?

- He's not the Secretary of Defense.
- Shh, shh.

As we enter our final round,

Mrs. Nearing leads
by a score of 21 to 16.

It is the moment of truth, as it were,

for Charles Van Doren,
our reigning champion,

after a record-breaking 14 weeks.

Will he hold onto his title?

Wow.

- Mrs. Nearing.
- Yes?

You have the required 21 points.

We're going to let you listen in
on this last round.

Please do not divulge your score
or speak in any way.

Mr. Van Doren, the category is royalty.

- Royalty. Yes, sir.
- Royalty.

How many points
would you like to try for?

Well, let's see.

I'll take five, five points.

All right. Name the kings
of the following countries,

Norway, Sweden, Belgium and Iraq.

- Could I take the third part last?
- Certainly.

Take as much time
as you need, Charlie.

You have a lot
riding on these answers.

I sure have. Well, Norway,
that would be Haakon- King Haakon-

- That's right.
- And Sweden, um, Gustavus.

- Right again, Charlie. The King of Iraq?
- Iraq, uh...

Turn it... Turn it off.
Turn the damn thing off.

- Good God. What got into you?
- it's just too nerve-wracking.

I remember that's his

great-uncle in that wonderful book,
The Seven Pillars Of Wisdom.

Um, Do... No, um...

King Faisal.

Correct. And Belgium?

Belgium. Belgium. Belgium. Belgium.
Let me see... That's the third part?

That's right.

Um...

King of Belgium...

Let me see...

Professor, would you like more time?

Belgium, the King of Belgium.

I can picture him, Jack.

Right down to that
Hapsburg lip that they...

I can't seem to summon the name.

Um...

He's gonna dump it.

Is Garroway here?

Professor, I'm sorry. I'm going
to have to ask for your answer.

It seems like an easy one.

Leopold.

No.

No, I'm... I'm sorry, Charlie.
The answer is Baudouin.

King Baudouin.

Leopold is Baudouin's father,
the former king.

What a stunning turn of events.

Mrs. Nearing, you have just
unseated our champion.

Baudouin. Of course.

Come out here, both of you.

You don't know what to do?
Give him another chance, that's what.

Call it a bonus round,
but get him on that show again.

Someone will call if he loses,
won't they?

I'm sure.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Changing of the guard, as it were.

You take home
$10,000 of Mr. Van Doren's money.

We'll try not to hold that against you.
Please, come back next week.

Tell us you want to continue playing.
I sure hope you do.

How 'bout a warm hand
for our new champion,

- Mrs. Vivienne Nearing.
- Thank you.

Whoa, who is that in our wing?
Is that Dave Garroway?

Dave Garroway of the NBC
Today Show, ladies and gentlemen.

Hello, Dave.

- How are you, Charlie?
- Fine, thank you, Dave.

I was wondering,
what are you gonna do now?

Well, I was hoping to
enjoy some peace and quiet now

and a chance to get back to my books.

You know, eventually,
this sad day had to come,

but we don't wanna lose you.

So, at the Today Show, we decided

why not make Charlie
our special cultural correspondent,

to the people and to
the schoolchildren of America.

Well, I...
I hope you're not firing the chimp.

How does $50,000 a year
sound to you, Professor?

Well, I...

I was hoping to, um...
To get back to my teaching.

Well, this is the largest classroom
in the world, Professor, television.

So, if you will,
just sign right here on the dotted line.

Charlie, walk away.
Come on. You don't need it.

- Congratulations, Charlie.
- Thank you.

- Did Mr. Garroway leave?
- Yes, sir.

- Good show, Dave.
- Thanks.

- Mrs. Nearing, congratulations.
- Thank you.

It was a wonderful show.

Gentlemen, this is Mrs. Nearing.
You know Al Freedman.

Yes, we've met.

You're gonna be
needed tomorrow.

You're a very disruptive young man.

Okay, let's bring the camera out,
and let's bring the blackboard in.

- You remember James Snodgrass?
- Who?

And can we get Mrs. Nearing in there?

- James Snodgrass.
- Get her in there with her family.

He was a contestant on your show.

You know how many contestants
we've had?

This man was an artist.
Maybe that'll jog your memory.

Al digs these people up.
God knows where he finds them.

- Now, a picture with her mother.
- He's in Greenwich Village.

There was a question about the first
line of a poem by Emily Dickinson.

Barry apparently expected

he was going to say
Ralph Waldo Emerson and get it wrong.

Really? I'm very busy now.

Yeah, and I have it
on the kinescope, okay?

It's clear as day.
The man literally did a double take.

He did a double take.
And who told you this?

Is this Herb again?

Or is this the Greenwich Village
beatnik?

That's interesting.

Why is he a beatnik?
Because he's not Charlie Van Doren?

Yeah, you're damn right.
He's not Charlie Van Doren.

You got crackpots
comin' out of the woodwork.

You're snoopin' around
askin' questions.

You don't have a shred of
concrete evidence.

Let me tell you somethin'.

In this envelope are all the questions

that James Snodgrass was
asked on Twenty-One, okay?

The odd thing about this envelope is he
appeared on the show on January 13,

yet somehow he mailed this to himself
January 11, registered mail.

I'd say that's pretty goddamn concrete,
wouldn't you?

Look right into the camera.

I wasn't in there, was I?
You didn't see me?

No, you were out. It's okay.

Why would he do that?

How's that trap feel
clamped on your leg?

He sent it to himself registered mail?

Why should you be the fall guy here

when NBC and Geritol are
makin' the real money?

Dick.

Dan.

You want me to implicate the network?

You don't owe them a thing.

If I even hinted that the network knew,

and they didn't know,

they'd never let me
through the door again.

I got a sneakin' suspicion you're not
going through that door anyway.

Television's my life, Dick.

It's over.
Why don't you go talk to your family?

I just had a thought.

Would you be interested
in your own panel show?

Seriously.

What?

I'll get back to you on that, Dan.

- Excuse the robe.
- That's all right.

First decent night's sleep I've had
in months. Would you like coffee?

I thought I'd drop by before I head back
to Washington. I got a 10:00 train.

We're going to announce
our hearings later today.

Oh, really?
As I exit the stage, you enter.

Well, don't forget
the world's biggest classroom.

Oh, that. Well, it's...
It's the world's biggest something.

Uh...

How do you like it, Dick?
You seem like a black coffee man.

Yeah, black's fine.

Here we go.

A toast to

escape.

"It is the basket
in which the heart is caught

"when down some awful Battlement
the rest of Life is dropt."

King Baudouin.

Emily Dickinson, actually.

The one you lost on.

Oh, that.

Well, it seems the Belgian Consulate
has formally protested my ignorance.

Up at Cornwall, Charlie, your father
said he felt like Leopold, remember?

You lost on one you knew.
Same as Stempel.

Well, I...
I must have had a mental block.

I was there last night.

I could swear a smile crept across
your face when you lost.

I wanted to get off the show.
You can understand that.

I feel like I've been holding
my breath for 14 weeks.

Why? What'd you think it was?

Look, I spoke to the committee, okay?

We're going to hold the hearings
without you.

I am not out to destroy
you or your family.

You go on and you live your life,

- and God bless you.
- Okay.

But I wanna know, man to man,
did you get the answers?

- "Man to man"?
- Yeah, just between us.

What is this? Is this still
that business with Stempel?

I mean, Dan says he's not
the most reliable fellow.

There's a problem, Charlie.

I found another contestant,
a man named James Snodgrass.

He says he got the answers, too.

Are you sure
these people are telling the truth?

He put the questions
in a sealed envelope

and sent them to himself,
registered mail.

That was two days before
he appeared on the show.

That doesn't prove anything.

You don't have to be a genius
to connect the dots.

Don't connect them through me.

Don't treat me like I'm some member
of your goddamned fan club.

Are you telling me
everybody got the answers but you?

You're so persistent. I envy that.

Was it just the money?

You'll forgive me,
but anyone that thinks

money is everjust money
couldn't have much of it.

You wanna insult me, fine.
But you can't envy me at the same time.

Jesus. If someone offered you all this
money to be on some rigged quiz show,

instant fame, would you do it?

- No. Of course not.
- No, no.

Throw the whole thing in.
Cover of Time, Dave Garroway,

50,000 to read poetry on TV,
would you do it?

No.

And I would?

Honestly, Dick.

All right.

Look, do me a favor.
Don't embarrass me.

Keep your mouth shut. Don't say
anything. Don't talk to the papers.

Just disappear for two weeks.

Please, don't make me call you.

More coffee, Dick?

Nope. I better go.

I don't wanna miss my train.

The subcommittee
will be in order.

The special Subcommittee
on Legislative Oversight

was created pursuant to Section 136

of the Legislative
Reorganization Act of 1946

to conduct a general investigation
into the operation

of the federal regulatory agencies.

I'll ask if you were assisted in any way.
You answer, "Yes." I'll say, "How?"

You say, "I was given the questions
and answers in advance."

- Why don't you just sit on my pants?
- I'll ask, "Was this done routinely?"

- You answer, "Yes."
- Not that tie. The television tie.

We've gone over this five times already.

Just try to relax.

Be confident. Look at the Chairman
directly when you answer.

Enough. You're worse than Enright.
I'm telling the truth.

If they prefer to be lied to,
they can just turn on the television.

There's a lot riding on this.

You're telling me
there's a lot riding on it, yeah.

- What do you think, Toby?
- What do I think about what?

Ready to watch your husband
give 'em hell?

I don't know
what you're gonna accomplish.

As soon as Enright realizes...

What do you want,
the two-tone or the oxford?

You should wear the oxford.

When Enright realizes he's alone up
there and they're gonna cut him loose,

he will implicate NBC and Geritol
like that,

and believe me,
you're gonna see somethin'.

I know what you're gonna accomplish.

I just don't know
what he's gonna accomplish.

You wanna know what? If I do
nothing else, I will convince them

that Herbert Stempel knows what won
the goddamned Academy Award

for best goddamned picture of 1955.

- That's what I'm going to accomplish.
- I'm sick of all this.

The subcommittee calls
Herbert Stempel.

So, in other words,
you kept on winning.

Yes, sir, that is correct.

At any time
during this championship run,

were you ever assisted in any way?

I was given
the questions and answers in advance.

Generally, I would receive the questions
and answers on Friday.

Then we'd have sort of
a rehearsal on Monday.

- This is from the very beginning?
- Yes.

Dan Enright came to see me
in my kitchen and he said,

"How'd you like to make $25,000?"
And I said, "Who wouldn't?"

What do you mean by rehearsal?

Well, for example, he told me how to
breathe heavily into the microphone

and sigh such as this.

He taught me how to stutter
and say in a plaintive voice,

"I will take, nine... Nine points."

it was all choreographed.

How to bite my lip.
How to mop my brow.

He told me specifically
not to smear my brow,

but rather to pat for optimum effect.

Of course, I'm shvitzing the whole time

because they turned off
the air conditioning.

Excuse me?

- That's funny.
- Mr. Chairman.

With your permission,
we might at this point,

view a portion of the program,
Twenty-One.

Whenever you're ready.

Herb Stempel, with your $69,500
still at stake,

although now at $2,500 a point,
the category is...

Newspapers.

How many points you wanna try for?

There. There's the lip biting.

Yes, we see.

Finally, I was told to open my eyes

and with a dazzling smile,
give the answer

and explode when Jack Barry says,
"That is right."

The Emporia Gazette?

That is right.

I don't know where he got it all.

Some article on mass psychology
he read in Esquire.

- I'll try eight points.
- Watch Van Doren.

- He's better at it than I am.
- Mr. Stempel, if I might refer you...

Are you suggesting that
Charles Van Doren was also coached?

Of course he got the answers.

Why would they give me the answers
and not give him the answers?

Why would they make me take a dive

unless they knew
the other guy would get to 21?

It's illogical. You don't fix one guy
without fixing the other guy.

It's implausible, mathematically.

It would be,
and you have eight points.

You see? Look at him.
You see with the brow?

Patting, not smearing.

Mr. Stempel, have you ever received
any psychiatric treatment of any kind?

What?

- Mr. Stempel, I was wondering...
- Mr. Goodwin, please.

Five sessions a week.
That's pretty extensive, isn't it?

Well, I believe we can all use a little
help at various times in our lives.

Is it possible that any of
your testimony is motivated

by an irrational animosity
toward Mr. Enright?

I don't know. If a man doesn't
live up to his agreement...

A morbid fixation on Mr. Van Doren?

If a man promises certain things
just to shut me up...

"How'd you like to make $25,000?"
And you said, "Well, who wouldn't?"

In retrospect, look at Van Doren.
I should've held out for a lot more.

You prostituted
your intellectual ability for money.

That's the difference
between me and Van Doren.

I admit it. I have my morality.

Charles Van Doren is a professor
at Columbia University.

A Master's degree in astrophysics.

A PHD. in literature.

Hails from one of the most prominent
intellectual families in this country.

Isn't it just possible, Mr. Stempel,

that you got the answers and he didn't?

So I told my husband,
"We really need a vacation."

My husband says,
"What are you gonna do with the cat?"

- Uh-huh.
- And I said, "I don't know."

Good morning.

Will you excuse us?

Charlie, I'm Bob Kintner.

- Oh.
- Don't get up.

- It's about time we met.
- Hi. It's a pleasure.

This whole quiz show mess,
and hearings and all that.

I've been following that in the paper.

Well, our legal department
has prepared this for you.

We'd like you to hold
a press conference.

Oh, there's a split infinitive
here in the second paragraph.

Shall I schedule it?

Well, look, um...

I haven't been subpoenaed,

and I can't think of
anything that'd sound guiltier

than a man who hasn't been accused
of anything protesting his innocence.

Charlie, speculation in our society
has a way of becoming fact.

Television is a public trust.

We can't afford even a hint of
a scandal in our company.

Well, I... I'd rather not do it.

I'm sorry.

Haven't we been good to you?

Haven't we treated you
like part of our family?

We have great expectations
for you, Charlie.

I know you're gonna do the right thing.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Van Doren.
- Is he in?

- He's gone, Mr. Van Doren.
- He's gone to Washington?

Mr. Freedman's gone to Mexico.

I still don't understand

how you can hold a quiz show hearing
without Van Doren.

Van Doren had no contact
with NBC or Geritol.

Don't you understand,

they deal with Enright.
Enright's the key here.

The key to what?
The jury hears the public.

The public doesn't know Dan Enright.

The purpose is not to
reform the souls of the contestants.

The purpose is to reform TV.

It's like the Barenblatt and
the Sweezy cases.

You don't wanna call him.

Fine, Dick. Just don't patronize me
with your legal bullshit.

She's got a point, Dick.

Bob, maybe it's time for you to go home.

How'd you like Dick's steak
done, Bob? Medium?

There's absolutely no need to
drag the man into the spotlight.

You dragged Herb Stempel in.

The man has to be

dragged from the spotlight
with his teethmarks still on it.

Yeah, well, nobody forced

Charles Van Doren to go in front of
50 million people either.

This is not McCarthyism. We are not
here to expose for the sake of exposing.

- This is not the point.
- That is the point. That is not your point.

You are ten times the man
Charles Van Doren is.

Ten times the brain
and ten times the human being.

Meanwhile, you're bending
over backwards for him.

You are like the Uncle Tom of the Jews.

I'm glad it's so easy for you
to destroy a man's life.

I'll have to keep that in mind.

Bob, sit down.

The quiz show hearings
without Van Doren

is like doing Hamlet without Hamlet.

The Chairman's instructions

are for me to get you up there
as promptly as possible.

The questions are to take
no longer than 15 minutes.

You're to receive
the questions in advance,

and I'm to thank you for the courtesy
of attending this hearing.

Mercy. What a grueling line of inquiry.

Must have a familiar ring,
the questions in advance.

Would you excuse us
for a moment, please?

Take this, please. Thank you.

Young man...

The ratings went up if the same
contestant came back week after week.

There was only one way for that
to happen. You had to know that.

Young man, I sell over $14 million
a year worth of Geritol.

Geritol. That's the kind
of businessman I am.

That show, Twenty-One, cost me three
and a half million year in, year out.

Sales went up 50%
when Van Doren was on. 50%.

So the very idea that I was unaware of
every detail of that show's operation,

frankly, it's very insulting.

- So you knew.
- That's even more insulting.

- You had to know...
- it's not about what I know.

It's about what you know.

You don't know what I know.

You know that Dan Enright
ran a crooked quiz show.

He never informed you?

Did he?

Let's see what he says.

Dan? Look, Dan Enright wants
a future in television, okay?

You have to understand that the public
has a very short memory.

But corporations, they never forget.

He's not that stupid.
He knows he's through.

No. He'll be back. NBC is gonna go on.
Geritol's gonna go on.

Makes me wonder what you hope
to accomplish with all this.

Don't worry. I'm just gettin' started.

Even the quiz shows'll be back.
Why fix them?

Think about it.

You could do exactly the same thing
by just making the questions easier.

The audience didn't tune in

to watch some amazing
display of intellectual ability.

They just wanted to watch the money.

Imagine if they could watch you.

You're a bright young kid with a bright
future. Watch yourself out there.

I turned in my clubs after that day.

Well, you weren't too good
when you were out on the links

with me that day.

I can't wait to get you out there again.

- Stuck in that sand trap for an hour.
- No more for me.

Would you state your name
and profession?

My name is Robert Kintner.

I'm the president of the
National Broadcasting Company.

My name is Martin Rittenhome.
I run Pharmaceuticals Incorporated.

I take that responsibility
very seriously, Congressman.

We immediately commenced
our own internal investigation.

To ferret out this corruption
wherever it may exist.

Nobody brought the article
in Time magazine to your attention?

I was in Europe. I didn't see it.

You didn't see it. You were traveling.

I didn't see it.
I was traveling at the time.

You sure you never asked
about particular contestants

or about the ratings, nothing?

That was their department.

I relied on the excellent reputation
of Dan Enright.

Dan Enright was more in the nature
of an independent contractor.

Do you remember what you thought
when you found out?

I was as shocked as you are. I mean,

this was a terrible thing to do
to the American people.

I never, never imagined

they could perpetrate this fraud
on the American public.

I'd like to say one other thing. I
think all that money should be returned.

Mr. Goodwin, any further questions?

No, sir, thank you. No further questions.

On behalf of the subcommittee,

I wish to thank you
for your appearance

and your testimony here.

Van Doren's made a statement.

I look like the mark in a shell game
here, and you look like the shill.

- Sir, if you...
- Shut up.

When is Van Doren coming here?

- I don't see him on the schedule.
- He's not on the schedule.

Wait a minute. We discussed this.
The contestants are not the villains.

We were gonna only bring in the ones
who would come in voluntarily.

All I know is in the last hour,

I've gotten over 200 telegrams
from people askin' me

why I won't let poor
Charles Van Doren defend himself.

I've got every woman in Arkadelphia
squealin' like a pig under a gate.

Let me tell you somethin'.
These women vote.

I cannot believe this.

Where is Albert Freedman?

The marshals are bringing him
back from Mexico.

By what? By mule?

Sir, please, just tell me
what it is that he said.

"Mr. Van Doren made himself
available to the subcommittee staff.

"He has advised them at no time
was he supplied

"with any questions, answers..."

That statement of yours
took me a bit by surprise.

I know. I know. We had a deal.

I asked myself, "Why would he make
a statement like that?

"He knows I'll come after him."

But then it occurred to me.

He knows I'll come after him.

I can't decide if you think
too much of me or too little.

Charlie, I wanna think the best of you.

Everyone does.

That's your curse.

- Did you bring a subpoena?
- Right here.

Well?

I remember five, six years ago,
my Uncle Harold told my aunt

about this affair he had.

It was a sort of mildly
upsetting event in my family.

Mmm-hmm. Mildly?

You have to put it in context.

The thing of it is, the affair
was over like eight years.

So, I remember askin' him, "Why'd you
tell her? You got away with it."

I'll never forget what he said.

It was the "getting away with it"
part he couldn't live with.

I might take that chance.

A chance is what I'm givin' ya.

- Don Quixote is life.
- I still don't see

how this old guy with a horse and a fat
old sidekick can think he's a knight.

It means if you wanna be
a knight, act like a knight.

Okay.

Act like a knight? You act like a knight.

lam a knight.

I shall miss them.

What is this?
That retirement business again?

That'd be like a snail
retiring from his shell.

I can't go on doing this forever.
It's for you now, Charlie.

So, what's the news? Did you
read Norman Mailer in Dissent?

I only glanced at it.

Everyone's talking about it. They don't
know whether he's a genius or a fool.

Have you heard there's this
congressional committee that's...

Well, they're investigating
the quiz shows.

I read that. What's it about?

Well, evidently,
certain of the contestants

were given the answers in advance.

Cheating on a quiz show.
That's like plagiarizing a comic strip.

Well, at any rate, it seems
the committee wants to call me

to testify.

Oh, I've testified before.
Funding for the arts. It's nothing.

- I think this is a little different.
- You'll run circles round them.

It's not exactly Jefferson
and Lincoln down there anymore.

I think this is a little different.

I'd think you'd be glad
at a chance to clear your name.

Otherwise, people might believe...

People will believe whatever they
want to believe. That's not the issue.

Just tell 'em the truth. You'll do fine.

The real issue, Charlie,
is how this keeps distracting you

from your teaching.

This and that program in the morning,
though you insist that it doesn't.

Dad, I can't simply just tell 'em the truth.

Can't tell them the truth?

Why on earth not?

It's complicated.

Complicated?

Yeah, I can't. I...

Charlie, from what I understand,
it's just this bunch of frauds

showing off an erudition
they didn't really have.

- All you have to do...
- The problem is

it seems I was one of those frauds.

What?

What... What do you mean?

They gave me the answers.

They gave you the answers.

They gave you the answers.

Well... No, no.

At first, they asked me questions they
already knew I knew the answers to.

We ran through those, and I still
didn't want them

to give me the answers,

so I had them give me questions
and I'd go look up the answers,

as if that were any different.

We ran through those
in a couple of weeks.

Then I just didn't have the time.
Finally, it just seemed silly.

They gave you all that money to answer
questions they knew you knew?

- Now, that's inflation.
- You're not being very helpful.

I'm sorry, Charlie. I'm an old man.

It's all a little difficult
for me to comprehend.

It's television, Dad. It's just television.

You make it sound like
you didn't have a choice.

What was I supposed
to do at that point?

Disillusion the whole
goddamn country?

- You took the money.
- Yes, I know. I took the money.

- Is that what this was about?
- No. No. I don't know.

It was a goddamned quiz show, Charlie.

- "An ill-favored thing, sir."
- This is not the time to play games.

- "But mine own." It was mine.
- Your name is mine.

Charlie.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, Dad.

You'll be

dragged into all this, you and Mother.

Oh, my God, Charlie.

How are you gonna tell that committee?

Will you come down there with me?

The, uh, subcommittee
calls Charles Van Doren.

Photographers will please
clear the room.

- Will you please state your name?
- Charles Van Doren.

I've gotta get in there.
I've gotta get in there.

Excuse me, sir.

Wait a minute.
Hey, you, come back here.

Do you solemnly swear
that the testimony

you are about to give will be the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, so help you God?

I do.

Now, we are advised that you have

a prepared statement that you would
prefer to give at the outset?

Yes, sir.
Might I first have a glass of water?

Of course you may.

You may proceed.

I would give almost anything I have

to reverse the course of my life
in the last year.

The past doesn't change for anyone.

But at least I can learn from the past.

I've learned a lot about life.

I've learned a lot about myself

and about the responsibilities
any man has to his fellow men.

I've learned a lot about good and evil.

They're not always
what they appear to be.

I was involved,

deeply involved, in a deception.

I have deceived my friends.

And I had millions of them.

I lied to the American people.

I lied about what I knew, and then
I lied about what I did not know.

In a sense, I was like a child

who refuses to admit a fact
in the hope that it'll go away.

Of course it did not go away.

I was scared,

scared to death.

I had no solid position.

No basis to stand on for myself.

There was one way out and that was
simply to tell the truth.

It may sound trite to you,

but I've found myself again
after a number of years.

I've been acting a role,

maybe all my life,
of thinking I've done more,

accomplished more,
produced more than I have.

I have had all the breaks.

I have stood on the shoulders of life,

and I've never gotten down
into the dirt to build,

to erect a foundation of my own.

I have flown too high
on borrowed wings.

Everything came too easy.

That is why I am here today.

Mr. Van Doren,

I want to compliment you
for that statement.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Van Doren, I would like to join
the Chairman in commending you

for the soul-searching fortitude
displayed in your statement.

- Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.
- Mr. Van Doren,

I just wanna add my kudos.

I have listened to many
witnesses, in both civil

and criminal matters,

and yours is the most
soul-searching confession

I think I've heard in a long time.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Van Doren,

I'm also from New York,
a different part of New York.

I'm happy
that you've made the statement,

but I cannot agree
with most of my colleagues.

You see, I don't think an adult of your
intelligence ought to be commended

for simply at long last telling the truth.

If the committee has nothing to add,
Mr. Van Doren, you are dismissed.

Charlie. Over here.

Let him out, boys.

The subcommittee will come to order.

Our next witness will be
Mr. Daniel Enright.

Charles, you're gonna have to
answer some questions.

Okay, one at a time.

- How do you feel, Charlie?
- Relieved.

...the truth, the whole truth and
nothin' but the truth, so help you God?

- I do.
- Who helped you write that statement?

Did you know you'd been fired by NBC?

No, I didn't know.

What do you have to say
to the young people?

Are you proud of your son?

- I've always been proud of Charlie.
- Proud of what he did?

The most important thing now is for
Charlie to get back to his teaching.

Did you know Columbia trustees
are meeting right now?

They're going to ask
for Charlie's resignation.

Professor Van Doren, you spent
your whole career at Columbia.

What's your reaction to that?

Prof. Van Doren?

Dad, go ahead with Mother.
I'll meet you outside.

- No reaction.
- Charles, a few more questions.

Did the network or sponsor
bring pressure on you

to bring the same contestant
back week after week?

No, sir.

Did they express any approval

or disapproval
of any particular contestant?

Never. Not to me.

Were they aware

that you were supplying
the contestants with the answers?

No, sir.
They had no knowledge whatsoever.

Herb Stempel. Herbie, how 'bout
a picture, you and Van Doren together?

No. Not now. Christ, look at the guy.

Come on, the both of you.

You know what the problem
with you bums is?

You never leave a guy alone
unless you're leaving him alone.

- Who do you blame, Charlie?
- Professor, one more shot.

Did you feel the committee
treated you fairly?

How'd the pressure up there
compare to Twenty-One?

So you freely admit that
you helped rig these shows?

- What else could we do?
- Congratulations.

- For what?
- Van Doren.

I thought we were gonna get television.

The truth is television is gonna get us.

And you obviously
don't think you did anything wrong.

Yes, we did one thing
wrong. We were too successful.

You were too successful.

Those advertising dollars
came from somewhere.

Why do you think
the newspapers and magazines

are making such a big thing about this?

Mr. Enright,

you make it sound like
you are the victim here.

The sponsor makes out,
the network makes out,

the contestants see money
they would never see in a lifetime

and the public is entertained.

So who gets hurt?

Mr. Freedman,

you freely admit that
you helped rig these shows?

- Yes, sir.
- "Yes, sir"? That's it?

Well, sir,
I don't know what else to say.

Give the public what they want.
It's like your business-

Do you see a need
for government regulation in this area ?

You know, it's not like
the quiz shows are a public utility, sir.

It's entertainment.

We're not exactly
hardened criminals here.

We're in show business.

See the shark with

Teeth like razors

You can read his

Open face

And Macheath

He's got a knife, but

Not in such

An obvious place

On a beautiful

Blue Sunday

See the corpse

Stretched in the Strand

See a man dodge

Round the corner

Mackie's friends will

Understand

Mr. Meier

Reported missing

Like so many

Wealthy men

Mack the Knife

Acquired his cash box

God alone knows

How or when

Jenny Tow/er

She turned up lately

With a knife stuck

Through her breast

While Macheath

He walks the Embankment

Nonchalantly

Unimpressed

And the ghastly

Fire in Soho

Seven children

At a go

In the crowd stands

Mack the Knife, but

He isn't asked

He doesn't know

And the child-bride

In her nightgown

Whose assailant's

Still at large

Violated

In her slumbers

Mackie, how much

Did you charge?

Yes, the child-bride

In her nightgown

Her assailant's

Still at large

Violated

In her slumbers

Mackie, how much

Did you charge?

Mackie, how much did you charge?

How much did you charge?

How much did you charge?

How much did you charge?