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1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:05,255
How you doing over there?
2
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:05,255
I'm good.
3
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,090
Really good.
4
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,090
Good.
5
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,261
Is it weird that I'm good?
6
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,263
No, it's good
that you're good.
7
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,267
Good. Well, I'm good.
8
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,269
Every mom dreams of the day
when they drop
9
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:22,397
their 42-year-old daughter off
at the airport to go to school.
10
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,444
And I did it all by myself.
11
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:28,820
Hey, I'm here.
12
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,948
Oh, not the dropping off,
the raising.
13
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,948
Oh.
14
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,742
I mean, I wasn't there
the whole time.
15
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,493
But I was definitely there
for the beginning.
16
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:39,122
In and out during the middle,
and rock-solid from age 37 on,
17
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,207
you know, the formative years.
18
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,917
You have a lot
to be proud of.
19
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,295
Damn right.
Georgetown Law School
20
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,672
on a full scholarship.
21
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,300
Phew. Lot of parents would be
in a puddle of tears right now,
22
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,968
but you know
what I think of them?
23
00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,137
Selfish.
(chuckles)
24
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,306
Not me, 'cause I'm focusing
on what she's gonna get,
25
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,016
not what I'm gonna lose.
26
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,644
(voice breaking): Which is
the most beautiful little girl
27
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,980
a mother could ever have.
28
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,483
And this is why I drove.
29
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:09,194
(crying): Oh, please.
You're gonna cry, too.
30
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:10,653
Am not.
31
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,531
The Father's Day card
she gave you last year?
32
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,784
(crying):
Why would you do that to me?
33
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,328
'Cause you miss her
as much as I do.
34
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,205
I-I do!
35
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,373
(both sobbing)
36
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,294
You want to go back and
watch the plane take off?
37
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,338
I do!
38
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,338
Okay.
39
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,383
♪ ♪
40
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,404
Bonnie, alcoholic.
41
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,404
ALL: Hi, Bonnie.
42
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,491
Well, it's been a month since
Adam and I became empty-nesters,
43
00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,493
and we are loving it.
44
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,412
We learn something new
about each other every day.
45
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,540
And we learn a lot
about Christy, too.
46
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,208
Apparently, she was the one
vacuuming the living room.
47
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,334
(chuckles)
48
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,546
And another thing
we learned about her,
49
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,756
she doesn't understand
time zones.
50
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,716
She's smart enough to get
a scholarship to law school,
51
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,426
but she can't grasp
the fact that her 7:00 a.m.
52
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,178
is my 4:00 a.m.
53
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,348
She's constantly waking me up
'cause she can't subtract three.
54
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,351
Well, my fault.
55
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:26,563
I should've taken her
to kindergarten once in a while.
56
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,106
Yeah, she's in law school.
She's fine.
57
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,191
That's it. Thanks.
58
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,235
(applause)
59
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,235
Now that Christy's gone,
60
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,528
would you like me
to roll my eyes
61
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:35,280
a little bit more
while you share?
62
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,075
Tammy?
63
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,075
Tammy, alcoholic.
64
00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:40,285
ALL:
Hi, Tammy.
65
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,953
Uh, it's my birthday tomorrow.
66
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,913
Uh, not a sober one, a
squeezing out of the womb one.
67
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,040
Normally,
68
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:49,669
I love my birthday,
but not this year.
69
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:53,381
My dad tracked me down
from prison and sent me a card
70
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,008
saying he's gonna
call me tomorrow.
71
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,428
What am I supposed to do
with that?
72
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,139
The man killed my mom.
73
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,641
I haven't talked to him
since I was 14.
74
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,393
And I don't want
to talk to him now.
75
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,106
I know this program
is about second chances,
76
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,275
but does that mean
I have to give him one?
77
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,444
I mean... I don't know.
78
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,780
I'm totally spinning out
over what to do.
79
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,365
Thanks.
80
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,743
(applause)
81
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,453
Well, now I feel bad
for sharing about
82
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,330
how my Jacuzzi's
not bubbly enough.
83
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,626
You know, there's a place
where you can get free hot wings
84
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,377
on your birthday.
85
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,377
Nice.
86
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,171
Yeah, they give you
a free wing for every year.
87
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,506
It's the only time
I'm honest about my age.
88
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:39,969
Wow, it is a mess over here.
89
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:43,139
I know. Christy really did a lot
more cleaning than we thought.
90
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,933
Yeah, well,
I'll pick up the slack.
91
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,476
Great. She used to
do the coffee urn.
92
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,645
Oh, on it.
93
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,480
(gasps) Oh, I think
we should throw this one away
94
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,482
and start over.
95
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,527
Girls, don't forget Tammy's
surprise dinner tomorrow.
96
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,781
BOTH:
Get there by 7:00 and park
the car around the corner.
97
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,492
Good. You're as
excited as I am.
98
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,827
Brilliant idea:
I'm gonna throw Tammy
99
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,996
a surprise slumber party
tomorrow night at my house.
100
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,498
(gasps)
Love it.
101
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,498
Sounds good.
102
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,333
Bonnie, you know I've
been planning a dinner.
103
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,334
But my idea's better.
104
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,169
Kind of is.
105
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,213
I've been working
on this for weeks.
106
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,506
Well, I'm sorry, but she told me
107
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,674
she really wanted
a slumber party.
108
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,509
When did she say that?
109
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:21,260
When she was 14.
110
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,222
But I'm sure it's still true.
111
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,185
Oh, damn it.
112
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,645
What's up?
113
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:33,481
I accidentally got
"It's a Girl!" balloons.
114
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:34,857
Well, Tammy is a girl.
115
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:40,196
I'm sorry, I know you don't like
me to look on the bright side.
116
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,116
I really want to keep Tammy's
mind off her dad calling.
117
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:46,202
This party has to be perfect,
and I messed up the decorations.
118
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,037
Or you did that on purpose
so, when Jill gets here,
119
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,790
she takes over
and does everything for you.
120
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:53,209
Look, I didn't marry you
so you could get to know me.
121
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,254
(knocking on door)
122
00:04:57,255 --> 00:05:00,174
Hey.
123
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,884
Oh, hey, Adam,
are you staying
124
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,179
for the ladies-only party
that's only for ladies?
125
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:07,098
No, Gus and I are going fishing.
126
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,725
That's code for
drinking beer in a cabin
127
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,184
and not fishing at all.
128
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,184
(chuckles)
129
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,769
She's not wrong.
130
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,769
Mwah.
131
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,770
Have fun.
132
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:13,730
Come on, Gus.
133
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,941
He doesn't even own a rod.
134
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,901
ADAM:
I'm gonna pick one up
at the liquor store!
135
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,738
So...
(clears throat)
136
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,740
Am I seeing your decorations
in their entirety?
137
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,367
No. I got baby shower balloons.
138
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:30,413
Mm-hmm, taking over.
139
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,457
Mm-hmm, letting you.
140
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,880
(knocking on door)
141
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,214
What's this?
142
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:41,758
It's the cake
you asked me to bring.
143
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,551
But it's
from the grocery store.
144
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,595
I thought you'd bake
something.
145
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,097
And I thought we'd be
at a nice dinner right now.
146
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,767
Guess we were both wrong.
147
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,435
We don't just go to bed, right?
148
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:53,770
Don't look at me.
149
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,605
My gosh, did none of you ever go
150
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,939
to a slumber party
when you were kids?
151
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,316
Foster care.
152
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,316
No friends.
153
00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,027
I was strung out on horse.
154
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,739
Oh. Well, lucky for you,
155
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,700
I was extremely popular
and I will guide you through it.
156
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,786
There is an ebb and flow
to a slumber party,
157
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,121
not unlike a poem
or a good massage.
158
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,122
(knocking on door)
159
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,832
She's here. Big smiles.
160
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,542
Not the pageant one,
Jill, the real one.
161
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:22,131
Hey. Remember what you wanted
for your 14th birthday?
162
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,299
A case of beer?
163
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,299
No.
164
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:24,509
Curly hair? True love?
165
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:24,509
No.
166
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,302
No. A slumber party.
And here it is!
167
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,304
ALL:
Surprise!
168
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:30,598
Oh, my God, you guys.
This is amazing!
169
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,475
Look at the flowers
and balloons.
170
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,185
And a sign with
my name on it.
171
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:37,230
Oh, there's no way this
could possibly be better.
172
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,107
Unless we had a homemade cake.
173
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,154
Never have I ever
174
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,156
faked a toothache
just to get nitrous.
175
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,658
Oh.
176
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,658
(laughs)
177
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,451
So, I drink if
I've done it?
178
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,744
ALL:
Yes.
179
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,496
We've been playing this game
for half an hour.
180
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,498
How is this still
a question for you?
181
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,042
The sentence structure
is very confusing.
182
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,962
It should really just
be "have you ever."
183
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,338
Well, normally,
you'd play this game drunk,
184
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:03,548
so grammar doesn't matter.
185
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,509
Okay, let me try one.
186
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,178
I have never,
ever, never...
187
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,305
Oy.
188
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,305
(all groan)
189
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,850
...had sex in a church.
190
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,850
WENDY:
Mm.
191
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,102
Wait, it was a bris.
Do synagogues count?
192
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,479
How about an Amish guy
at a barn raising?
193
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,439
Any place where God is defiled.
194
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,401
Hey, didn't you have sex
at a funeral?
195
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,486
I did,
but it was at the cemetery.
196
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,572
Thanks for remembering, though.
197
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:29,907
You go, Bonnie.
198
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,327
Oh, good luck finding
something you haven't done.
199
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,664
Never have I ever
eaten cat treats
200
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,457
because I was curious.
201
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,502
I knew it!
202
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,502
(all laughing)
203
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,880
Tammy, go.
204
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,215
No, no, I want to go again.
205
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,384
Never have I ever
206
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,720
killed something I was
supposed to be taking care of.
207
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,722
I forgot to water
your ficus. Get over it.
208
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,725
All 73 of your cats
were still alive, weren't they?
209
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,896
What'd you kill,
someone's buzz?
210
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,731
No.
211
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,191
A man.
212
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,525
TAMMY, BONNIE AND MARJORIE:
What?
213
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,525
Wait,
214
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,235
did this just segue
into Murder Mystery?
215
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,654
Because I did not
authorize that.
216
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,199
Last week,
I had two patients in the ER
217
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,034
and only one ICU bed.
218
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,745
I advocated for one guy
over the other,
219
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,705
so the doctor took him first.
220
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,790
By the time we found a bed,
221
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,751
the other patient had died.
222
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,920
Oh, sweetie, that's
not your fault.
223
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,755
You're a nurse. You
have to prioritize
224
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,590
based on who needs it more.
225
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,926
But I'm not sure I did.
226
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,136
The other guy was rude to me.
227
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,015
I'm worried
that I was playing God.
228
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,895
No. You just have
a really tough job.
229
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,231
You didn't kill
anybody. My dad,
230
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,774
on the other hand...
231
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,774
New game. New game, Jill.
232
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,151
(clears throat) Yeah. Okay.
This one's my favorite.
233
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,112
Tammy, you breathe really fast
until you get light-headed,
234
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,281
and the rest of us will push
on your chest till you pass out.
235
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,449
It's called Pass Out.
236
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,660
As a medical
professional,
237
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,620
I am not sure I
can allow this.
238
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,081
As a sober person,
I don't think it's a good idea.
239
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:02,458
Aw. I can't drink.
I can't do drugs.
240
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,961
Now I can't even have people
cut off my air supply for fun?
241
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,545
Damn it.
242
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:13,052
All right, ladies,
welcome to Sex Bucket.
243
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,136
(all laugh)
244
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,471
This contains the names
245
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,139
of the men
from our Wednesday meeting.
246
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,517
When it is your turn,
you will pick two names
247
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,477
and choose the one
you would sleep with.
248
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,477
BONNIE: Oh!
249
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,520
WENDY:
Ah.
250
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,520
Birthday girl?
251
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,646
Ooh, all right.
252
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,356
(clears throat)
Let's see.
253
00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,650
Vigorous Handshake Dave...
254
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,527
(all laugh)
255
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,527
...versus
256
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,112
Paul the Veteran.
257
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,114
Ooh.
258
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,114
Ooh, that's tricky. Oh.
259
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,657
I choose Paul.
Don't love the beard,
260
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,158
but thank you for your service.
261
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,576
(all laugh)
262
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,662
Okay. My turn, my turn.
263
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,662
Okay.
264
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,330
All righty.
265
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,167
Angry Mark
the Meditation Teacher...
266
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,961
Uh-huh.
267
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,629
...or Tight Jeans Tom.
268
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,006
TAMMY:
Hmm.
269
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,006
Oh, I don't know.
270
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,132
Just pick one.
271
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,341
I prefer Tom,
272
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,176
but there's a lot
of self-adjusting.
273
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,178
This isn't real.
274
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,722
That doesn't mean
it couldn't lead to something.
275
00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,974
Okay, part of what makes
this game fun is pace.
276
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,350
Marjorie, go.
277
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,019
I don't want to
play this game.
278
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,979
If we as women
want to be treated
279
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,355
with respect and dignity,
280
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,733
we shouldn't be sitting here
objectifying men.
281
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,694
(scoffs) We're only
objectifying the hot ones.
282
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:15,364
Well done.
You ruined Sex Bucket.
283
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,325
Next game, Jill.
284
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,701
All right. Truth or Dare.
285
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,786
Love it!
I'll go first. Dare.
286
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,372
I have one.
287
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,710
(clears throat)
288
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,545
Hello.
289
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:31,922
I would like to buy
one packet of condoms--
290
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,799
your smallest size--
291
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,927
and every flavor of Slim Jim.
292
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,930
And also,
I would like to tell you this.
293
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,565
♪ You make me feel ♪
294
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:54,403
♪ You make me feel like ♪
295
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,281
♪ A natural ♪
296
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,241
♪ Woman ♪
297
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,243
♪ Woman! ♪
298
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,412
(laughter)
299
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,915
All right, ring it up.
Let's end this nightmare.
300
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,920
♪ ♪
301
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,715
(whooping, laughter,
indistinct chatter)
302
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,093
All right,
you can take it off now.
303
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,761
(phone ringing)
304
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,263
Oh, God.
305
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,099
Is that your dad?
306
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,099
No, it's this guy
307
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,935
who works at Home Depot--
he likes to talk dirty to me.
308
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,938
Hey, Steve.
I got to call you back.
309
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,815
No, you're a whore.
Gotta go.
310
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,404
Okay, Jill, your turn.
Truth or dare?
311
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,280
Um, truth, please.
312
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,699
How many times a week
do you and Andy have sex?
313
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,744
12 to 15.
314
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,746
Oh, my God!
315
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,746
Seriously?
316
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,746
You lie!
317
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,706
I don't even have sex
12 times a year.
318
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:52,294
You could at least pretend
to be surprised.
319
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,631
Wait. Don't
you get bored?
320
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:58,509
Nah. We mix it up
with toys and role play.
321
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:01,512
My favorite is "upscale Realtor
at a very open house."
322
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,139
BONNIE:
Mmm.
323
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,932
My mom was a Realtor.
324
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:07,435
She used to let me stick
the signs in the lawn.
325
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,520
(clicks tongue)
I'd forgotten about that.
326
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,272
Nice work, Jill.
327
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:14,108
How was I supposed to know?
328
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,111
Pillow fight!
329
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,530
(laughter, indistinct shouts)
330
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,160
Whoa!
331
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,328
Whoa. Whoa.
332
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,122
(panting)
333
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,915
(grunts)
334
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,048
What's wrong with you?
335
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,135
What do you mean?
She was whaling on me!
336
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,137
Yeah, but you
really crossed a line.
337
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,723
We don't hit our elders.
They're brittle.
338
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,017
You know what?
Screw you guys.
339
00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:54,064
(door slams)
340
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,025
(Marjorie sobbing)
341
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,029
Don't worry, it's
not a slumber party
342
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,323
till somebody cries.
343
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,240
♪ ♪
344
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,371
Well, this party
just went off a cliff.
345
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,206
No, it's okay.
346
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:13,000
This is the part
where we pick sides.
347
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,044
We're not 12.
We're not picking sides.
348
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,712
I'm gonna go check on Bonnie.
349
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,672
I'll check on Marjorie.
350
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,968
Well, we just picked sides,
but okay.
351
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:28,224
Bonnie makes me angry
in a way no one else can.
352
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,601
Maybe I hit her too hard
with the pillow,
353
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,854
but a woman
can only take so much.
354
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:37,233
Marjorie, it isn't safe
to eat raw cookie dough.
355
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,194
Seriously?
356
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:42,029
You're worried
about cookie dough?
357
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,615
I used to huff bug spray.
358
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,077
I'm sorry that tonight
got messed up.
359
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,079
I just wanted to keep
your mind off your dad.
360
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,122
It did. A little.
361
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,624
Not at all.
362
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,417
But I appreciate it.
363
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,920
I honestly don't know
what I'm gonna do if he calls.
364
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,714
Well, whatever you
decide, I got your back.
365
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,714
And I got yours.
366
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,591
Good. 'Cause what
do you want to bet
367
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,718
Marjorie's out there talking
smack about me right now?
368
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,262
No, she's not.
369
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,264
Yes, she is.
(chuckles)
370
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,099
Sorry, I've been
spying on both sides.
371
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,934
Well, come on in.
372
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,934
Okay.
373
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,436
This is really turning out
to be a great slumber party.
374
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,772
I was worried without wine
coolers and boys sneaking in,
375
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,065
it was gonna suck.
376
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,525
Well, I'm beginning
to think that getting
377
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,277
a bunch of alcoholics together
to act like teenagers
378
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,570
was a bad idea.
379
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:23,612
So what now?
380
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,281
Well, Bonnie's
got to go out there
381
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,448
and beg
for Marjorie's forgiveness,
382
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,616
and then when Marjorie
goes to sleep,
383
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,620
we have to put her hand in
hot water so she pees herself.
384
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,789
Your call, big sauce.
385
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,291
Well, that's pretty immature.
386
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,959
I love it.
387
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,959
Aah!
388
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,836
Oops. I'm sorry.
389
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,506
What's going on?
390
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,633
I'm calling an Uber
and going home.
391
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,634
Pissed off and
leaving early?
392
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,803
For women who have never
been to a slumber party,
393
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,305
you're sure checking
all the boxes.
394
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,806
Oh, come on.
395
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:52,683
Can't we just let this go
and have some fun?
396
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,686
How about you dare me
to go to Jiffy Lube
397
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,396
and say I didn't know
it was for cars?
398
00:14:57,479 --> 00:15:00,149
Tammy,
I'll bake you a cake tomorrow
399
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,859
and we'll celebrate.
400
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,447
Actually,
I think I'm gonna go, too.
401
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,198
Maybe we should
just call it a night.
402
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:11,201
We haven't even talked anybody
into cutting their hair yet.
403
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,870
Nobody is going anywhere.
404
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,832
Hey!
405
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,832
I don't want to
hear it, Bonnie.
406
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:17,708
What is wrong with you?
407
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,793
Why are you being
such a grouchy, grumpy,
408
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,296
grocery-store-cake-buying
sourpuss?
409
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,632
My doctor told me
410
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,842
that I have something wrong
with my heart.
411
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,093
I love you so much.
412
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,054
You have to live forever.
413
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,391
Put your meat sticks down.
414
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,226
Marjorie needs a
heart transplant.
415
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,688
No. It's nothing
like that.
416
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,150
(sighs) I need a stent
put in my existing heart.
417
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,653
Oh, my God.
418
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,653
That's so awful.
419
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,489
But still, that was no excuse
for hitting you like that.
420
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,491
Bonnie, I'm sorry.
421
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:53,243
I guess I just didn't
realize how afraid I am.
422
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,870
I forgive you. And I
won't make you pee yourself
423
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:55,996
when you fall asleep.
424
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,414
What?
425
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,376
Why didn't you
tell us?
426
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,670
'Cause it's Tammy's birthday--
I didn't want to ruin it.
427
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,213
Honestly, there's
no ruining it.
428
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,632
I've been freaked out
myself all night long.
429
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,218
Every time my phone makes
a noise, my heart stops.
430
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,678
Sorry, Marjorie.
431
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:13,222
New game.
432
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,599
It's okay, Jill--
that ship has sailed.
433
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,017
Nope. This one's called
Fear Bucket.
434
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,686
I just made it up.
435
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,897
Ah. These were for Pictionary,
but I'm gonna pivot.
436
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,941
Write down your deepest fears,
437
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,860
and we are gonna set 'em on fire
so they lose their power.
438
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,613
Be honest.
439
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,699
And they can't all be: "I'm
afraid Marjorie's gonna die."
440
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,452
♪ ♪
441
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,791
"I'm afraid of making
a mistake at work
442
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,501
and hurting someone."
443
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,754
"I'm afraid
444
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,257
"if I don't take my dad's
call, I'm gonna regret it,
445
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,426
"and I'm afraid if
I answer the call,
446
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,178
I'll be betraying
my mother."
447
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,807
"I'm afraid Andy and I
are having so much sex
448
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,935
because we have nothing
to talk about."
449
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,605
"I'm afraid I'm not
going to get to see
450
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,107
my granddaughter
grow up."
451
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,361
"I'm afraid of spiders."
452
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,949
"I'm afraid the people
in this group
453
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,659
don't know
how much I love them."
454
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,244
Aw...
455
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,329
Shut up. I meant
to write spiders.
456
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,329
(laughs)
457
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,624
Is it just me, or
is this the best game
we've played all night?
458
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,710
I loved it.
459
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,710
Absolutely.
460
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,962
(Southern accent):
We should put some hot dogs
on them fears.
461
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:28,505
(laughter)
462
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,716
(phone ringing)
463
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,803
It's him. I still
don't know what to do.
464
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:35,637
Got your back.
465
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,931
(takes deep breath)
466
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,224
Hello?
467
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,059
Yes, I'll accept the call.
468
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,772
Yeah. Hi.
469
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,982
(exhales)
Well, I wasn't gonna,
470
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,984
but here I am.
471
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:51,111
So...
472
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:54,281
what's new with you?
473
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:56,492
Really? I'm sober, too.
474
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,620
Yeah, almost
three years, yeah.
475
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:02,372
Wow, that's a long time.
476
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,541
Good for you.
477
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,878
Look, um...
478
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:12,174
I'm with my friends, so I can't
really talk right now, but...
479
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:15,886
(choked up): thank you
for remembering my birthday.
480
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:17,471
Okay, bye.
481
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,975
(laughs)
482
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,894
♪ ♪
483
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:32,694
(groans) My back is gonna
hate me in the morning.
484
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,239
My left ass cheek is
totally numb.
485
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,699
We may be too old
to sleep on the floor.
486
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,827
Why does Marjorie
get the couch?
487
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,620
(quietly):
Because she's dying.
488
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,834
I'm not dying and I'm not deaf.
489
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,044
Although lately
I've been having trouble
490
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,004
in noisy restaurants.
491
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,841
Guys, it's
almost 4:00 a.m.
492
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,634
We've got
to go to sleep.
493
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:58,720
Jill's right. We're gonna be
so cranky in the morning.
494
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,348
Thanks for the best
birthday ever, you guys.
495
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:02,933
Good night.
496
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:04,560
Good night.
497
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,436
Good night.
498
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,436
Night.
499
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,436
Good night.
500
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,773
(ringtone playing)
501
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,609
Unbelievable.
502
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,237
Hi, Christy.
503
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,406
No. I'm up.
504
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,574
How's it going, honey?
505
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,951
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
506
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,502
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34869
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