All language subtitles for Are.You.Here.2013.720p.WEB-DL H264-RARBG-English

- And, honestly,
I wake up happy.

I mean, I'm that guy.

I've got enough
of everything I need.

I'm single, I like a party,
and I'm old enough to enjoy it...

young enough to enjoy it.

I wanna do something, I do it.

- Seems to be a little problem.
- Oh.

Must be the magnetic stripe.

And the weird thing is,
I know it's all a cliche.

No strings, no obligations,
but what's the alternative?

Get into some life:
Wife, kids,

some kind of car
with too many seats.

That's a world where
you have to do whatever it is

other people want you to do
to keep it going.

It's prostitution,
when you think about it.

But there
is this nagging feeling

that I'm missing something.

- Sorry, I don't know
what the problem is.

- No, it's not your fault.
That should do it.

And maybe, in the end,
I'm worrying for nothing.

I mean, I'm not
at the stage of my life...

where I have to worry
about most of this stuff.

Maybe I never will.

I must sound pretty selfish.

Or just drunk.

- This is no good either.

- You're kidding.

Are you serious?

Whoa, come on, wait.

You know I have money.

I just don't have any on me
or on my credit cards.

But I get paid all the time,
and a lot.

- Maybe next time.

Car fare?

And, by the way,

as someone who's life
really is prostitution,

I can tell you that until you're
actually fucking for a living,

you shouldn't be complaining.

- Wait a minute,
that's not what I meant.

- Thanks for the drink.

Call beverly, if you want
to make it up to me.

- Good evening.

Oh, shit.

Hello.

Hey!

Aah! Jesus!

- I have the right
to remain silent!

- Wait! Stop!

Ow!

Look, it's me! Stop!

- I will warn you,
I am a yellow belt!

- Stop!

Stop!

Stop! Relax!

It's me!

Jesus!

What is wrong with you?

- I heard a noise.

- Ahh.
- I'm telling you,

right out there,
I heard a noise.

- Everything's cool.
There's nobody there.

I swear.

- It's all right.

- Five, four,

three, two, one,

zero.

Ignition.

Liftoff.

- I guess that's what
I've really been

trying to write about.

I mean, who are we trying
to fool?

We're not only animals, we're
the worst animals there are.

Why do we eat meat?

The greek gods dined
on ambrosia and nectar.

But we need to incorporate
other species into us.

Look at christianity:

"This is my body,
this is my blood."

that's why I'm doing
this chapter

about the genocide in rwanda.

The tutsis were vegetarians,

and the hutus were ranchers
who eat meat,

and they regarded the tutsis
as monkeys, as animals,

and that's why they had
no trouble killing 'em,

don't you think?

- Honestly, ben,
I don't know why

the farmer and the cowhand
can't be friends.

But I do know
that part of the reason

why some people regard
other people as animals

is because they don't observe
the social conventions

most of us take for granted.

- Every human function
is disgusting in our society.

- I side with the public
on this one.

I know what I am...

And that's an animal.

I'm human, but animal.

- You're wasting a lot
of thought on something

that's not gonna get you
high or laid.

I always say, "if it
ain't broke, don't fix it."

- you're very wise.
- And broke.

- That is so uncool.

- Can't I just take
some money back?

I get paid very soon,
and when I do,

I'm gonna float you
another loan.

Until then, I'd like
to borrow back what I leant you.

- Why do you need to leave?

You're just gonna go out there
and be part of the machine.

- Hey, that machine
is what keeps you

in all... this.

Now, you know there's no one
out there today, right?

- Yeah.

- So just hold it together
and do whatever it is you do.

- I'm writing a book.
What is it that you do?

Fuck it, I'm gonna get
the didgeridoo.

- Please, didgeri-don't.

Forgot my I.d.

- wish I could say
you look trustworthy.

- Buenos dias.

Hey, steve.

- There she is.

Miss weather center,
two years in a row.

- Pretty much the usual.

There's this pocket
of cold air coming in,

but you'll see it
on the composite.

- I'm gonna talk to dave

about putting
a real window in here

so we can see if
any of this stuff is right.

- It's right.

- Want one?

- They're poison.

There's two of them.

- Got him.

- God, you cut it so close.

- Thrilling isn't it?

- Nice to see you, mr. Dallas.

Victoria, looking lovely
and authoritative.

Kyle, you wanna blow your nose
and avoid a repeat of yesterday?

- You said it wasn't a big deal.
- I say a lot of things,

like, did I mention, steve,
glad you could make it?

- Can I get some water?

And is there any way to turn
these lights down a little?

- Five seconds.

Four, three...

- It's the channel 18
eyewitness news team.

News at noon,
chesapeake edition.

With kyle robertson
at sports.

- Do the ravens
finally have a kicker?

- Steve dallas
in the weather center.

- Beauty of a day out there,

and I'm gonna tell you
aaaaaall about it.

- And now, victoria riolobos
with the news.

- Good afternoon.

Tragedy struck this morning

as a truxton man
backed his late-model suv

into a day care center.

One youngster remains
in critical condition

after being struck
by shrapnel-like debris

during the collision,

but luckily, the rest emerged
scathed only by...

- you think the graphic's
in bad taste?

- I don't know.
Kinda captures the mood.

- She's really solid.

Unidentified driver is...

- And he's really high.

- You know, stu,

you just don't go spreading
rumors about people like that.

The man's
a working professional.

Lots of people
have squinty red eyes,

insatiable thirst,
and trouble walking.

He could be diabetic
or something.

- You're right,
I'm sorry.

- The bearded,
bespectacled doctor

murdered at least 26 patients,
making him

one of the world's
most prolific killers.

So steve, how's it looking
out there today?

It's about time we saw
some of this warmer weather.

- Well, victoria,
let's get things started

with a little shot
of the harbor

and some seagulls
enjoying the sunshine.

How ya doin' there, fellas?

Today's high will get up
to about 65 degrees

with unlimited visibility.

Which means if we could get
this knucklehead out of the way,

you could see clear down
to ocean city.

Coldest spot in the nation?

Why, that honor goes to...
bismarck.

- Smooth as silk.

That seem to you
like someone on drugs?

- And at 100% humidity
and 89 degrees,

little hilo, hawaii,
is both the hottest

and wettest spot
in the nation.

I guess that makes it
the number one destination

for teenage boys,
eh, victoria?

- I guess so, steve.

- So I know
I don't have to tell you

that showing up
with enough time

for us to know
that you're gonna be here

and in a condition to work
is 90% of it!

And why the fuck are you paying
attention to your computer?

- Are you ever gonna friend me?

- You think
you're irreplaceable?

You have this job because you're
handsome and you can talk.

- And people trust me.
- No one trusts you.

You think you're gonna move
to a bigger market?

Not with that nose.

- You know, I could just
as easily demean your job

if I had any idea
what it entailed,

and, honestly, I kinda resent
you making this

so awkward for me.

- What are you talking about?

- Well, I need a little money
till the end of the month.

- It's the sixth!

- Look, I didn't say
"give it to me."

it's just an advance.

- You know, the good thing is

I know you can't
go on like this forever.

- Guys like you count on that,
but what if you're wrong?

Fire drill?
- I really doubt that.

- I just wanna see my friend!

- Step away from the door, sir.
I'm only gonna ask you once.

- Get off me,
you fascist pig!

- You.
- Break the door in!

You fucking local dickwad.

- Stand your ass down!

- Wait a sec, I know that guy.

- You what?
- I said, "I know that guy."

everybody, calm down.
- I have a yellow belt!

- Jesus, ben. Let her go.

- Told you I just wanted
to see my friend!

- I'll p... i'll pay for
the plant.

- My dad died.

No, no, no!

- Freak of nature!
- Ow!

- And could I get
some visine, please?

- Great.

- I mean, would you like your
kitty cat to be used as bait?

You have 3 1/2 pounds
of crayfish.

I need 3 1/2 pounds of crayfish.

- What the hell is going on?

- I was telling him
they're too little to eat,

and we have a strict
no-return policy.

- What difference does it make
what I want them for?

These are the babies
of a species.

You judge a culture on how it
treats its children, right?

They were hatched one day

and then raised
to be murdered the next,

and I'm talking about
one of the most sophisticated

nervous systems
in the world.

It's like us,
the dolphins, then them.

- 100 bucks.

- You know, anyone
who's going fishing today

has probably come and gone.

How about a markdown?

- I don't give a shit.

- I'm not arguing with the
spirit of operation crayfish,

I'm just saying
it was overfunded.

- It's really beautiful.

I forgot, you know,
it's been so long.

- Yeah, I haven't been back
since my parents died.

- Your parents aren't dead.

- Well, you know,
since they moved.

Because we've been circling
our destination

for three hours now,

and my feeling
is we should get dressed

and rock this funeral.

I think I'm ready.

Oh!

- Ugh!

God damn!
- Ugh.

Shit!

- I still say it's better
than ending up as bait.

They mate for life,
you know.

- Not those.

Uh-oh, look.
He blew a foot.

Can you imagine
if you had to shoot your car

every time you got a flat.

- Those people
understand the land,

and they live by it.

I don't feel so good.

- Although sam baker
was not a religious man,

he found comfort and joy
in his children

teresa and benjamin,
and his lovely wife angela.

Now, a reading
from the old testament:

Song of solomon.

"Arise, my love,
my fair one..."

- look at her.
The slutty wicked stepmother.

She wants it all to herself.

You can practically
see through that dress.

- "And the voice
of the turtledove..."

- I don't think so.
- "Is heard in our land."

- I'm sorry.

We got a late start.
- It's okay.

It doesn't matter,
you're here.

- I just wish I could see him.

- I just wish
he could see that beard.

- Your coat smells weird.

- I'm just saying,

I think we sort of
have to step up

into the role of adults now

and decide what's
going to happen with the estate.

I had some ideas,

some of which
I actually ran past dad...

so I know he wasn't opposed...

about basically dealing
with the store.

How are the ribs?
- They're good.

They're small,
so they're either really cheap

or off a really,
really young pig.

- My steak's...

Steak's pretty good.

- I'll tell you
what looks good is...

what do we got here, ben?

Some deep-fried onions
dipped in ranch?

I bet it tastes
like springtime.

Boy, that vegetarian lifestyle
takes a lot of discipline.

- And the farm.

There's just that cruddy house,

but we're talking about
almost 150 acres of land.

- I don't think we should be
talking about this right now.

- Jesus, steve,
eat your fucking ribs.

- Are you sure nobody wants
any wine?

I got the best one
on the laminate.

- What are you even doing here?
- I'm his ride.

- Look, ben, I wanted
to discuss this just as family,

without her and certainly
without your ride.

I don't think that you're suited
to deal with any of this stuff.

And I don't mean that
as an insult.

I just know that you've been
happy with your life as it is.

And when you consider what
the property is actually worth...

- just so weird to be home
and to think that he's not here.

That we just put him
in a hole in the ground.

- You know, terry, maybe...

maybe now really isn't
the best time.

- I'm just saying,
you can just sit back,

and I'll take care of you.

- And I'll take care of this.

- To taking care of things.

- You can stay a night.

You said that guy with
the mustache will cover for you.

- Delia? Yeah, she'll do.

She's a good emergency measure,
but what am I doing here?

I mean, don't you want me
to go home

and water the plant at least?

- I just want
all this to go away.

- Look, man, you're gonna
have to face it.

Your sister
is still a total buzzkill.

- So you'll stay?
I've got a sleeping bag.

- I could be persuaded.

- What's that, obi-wan?
You want me to stay too?

You got
my fucking skates, ben.

- Hey.

I just wanted to say
sorry for your loss.

- Well, that's life, isn't it?

We're like waves in the ocean.
We roll in,

we have our existence,
we break on the shore.

- Hmm.
What a beautiful

and nautical way
to think of things.

Now, you might want
to shut that window.

We're expecting some showers
coming in from the coast.

- I doubt it.
Hasn't rained here in a while.

- Well,
you're the weather man.

- Look, I don't know
if I'm gonna be staying

in the house much longer,

so if you wouldn't mind,
I'd like to be by myself.

- Well, if you're interested
in leaving right now,

I can get you
on the next scheduled flight.

Thanks, but I try
to avoid things

that keep me from feeling.

- Shh.

- "Whatever remains of me
is hopefully not limited

"to my estate,
my belongings.

"Know that what I leave you
is in no way

"a measure of my feelings.

"Angela, you are the executor,
with all that entails.

"From the first time I saw you
in my store,

"leading that field trip
of very special young students,

"I knew the power of your soul
to heal others

"was surely from another place.

"I would have left the planet
long ago

"if not for making love to you,

"the kindness of your curves,

"your moistness in the morning,

my fingers gently..."

- oh, come on!

- Yeah. Wow.

- Again,
what are you doing here?

- He's with me.
- I'll leave.

- You got to bring him.
- He's my husband!

- Please! Can we stop
all this bickering?

A man died here,
a very rich man.

It's okay, mr. Stevens.

I'll read that part later.

"To angela,
according to her wishes,

"I leave the stars in the sky
that we shared together.

I would give them to her,
but no one owns them."

- is that it?

- No.

There's a bunch more
sex stuff here.

- Oh, good.

- Okay.

"To terry,
my beloved daughter,

"I leave the lump sum
of $100,000,

"and $250,000 in aa bonds
to do with as she wishes,

"hopefully for the education
of her children,

should she have any."

- had to get that in there.

- "To my only son ben...
i'm assuming that you're here...

"I leave my house,
my business,

"and the remainder
of the estate,

with the hope
that he get his shit together."

- what?
- You gotta be kidding me.

- That would include
the farmhouse and its 144 acres,

the grocery store
and its underlying property

on main street...
that's the whole block...

and the rest of his assets,

which totals
close to $2.5 million.

- Oh, my god.
- I need some air.

- This is total bullshit.

- Jesus, terry.

- Was he even competent
when he wrote this?

- Your father was quite lucid.

- I'm sorry, my suit
was really itchy. I...

- so I'm not mentioned
in there at all?

- It's a lot of money.

- $2 1/2 million?
It's more than a lot of money.

- No, honey, I meant
the 350,000 for us.

It is.
Why aren't you happy?

You told me you thought
she was gonna get everything.

- She's up to something.
Believe me.

Like she boned
a 77-year-old man

for five years for nothing.

- But the will said
this is what she wanted.

- Why does she hate me
so much?

- It's really amazing.
I mean, it's all here.

Pretty much as simple
as filling out

some change-of-address stuff.

What's the deal?

You overdo it
on the celebrating?

'Cause I just started.

- I don't know.
- You don't know what?

This is what we've been
working for your whole life:

To inherit this money.

You know what we should do?

Order pizza.

Call those assholes up
at mazzotta's

and say, "guess what,
you have to deliver

all the way out
to the baker farm."

pay them $1,000
if that's what they want.

"Get in that tercel,

and get that pizza
out here now, fuckers."

and they'll do it.
- I'm not hungry.

And it hurts my head,
all these facts and figures.

- What are you talking about?

You're four credits shy
of being an m.b.a.

- I'm not a businessman.
I hate businessmen.

- If jerry garcia
hadn't lured you away,

you would've been
a great businessman.

And who knew there was so much
money in a country store?

I don't want money.

You don't have to put such
a shitty spin on everything.

Maybe this is your father's way
of giving you a chance

to be
what you always wanted to be.

- This is my father reaching

from beyond the grave
to control me.

The whole thing just insinuates
that I'm crazy,

that there's something wrong
with the way that I live.

But I'm fine.
Everything's fine.

- I'm supporting you.
Of course, everything's fine.

Look, I'm the last person
that should be saying this,

but what about me?

- How's that?

- What's the difference?
- I don't like hurting you.

- Well, I don't like that making
a baby feels like chemotherapy.

- Look, honey,
your dad just died,

and I'm shooting
you full of hormones.

If that doesn't
make you crazy...

are we gonna do this?

- You still look beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Sorry.
- I'll be out in a minute!

- So you're really leaving?
What are you gonna do now?

- Some friends of mine have
a farm in upstate new york.

Maybe I'll go hang out
with them for a while.

- Just growing incense
and making your own clothes?

Not that you need any.

- No, actually,
I have a degree.

I'll probably go back
to teaching special ed.

- Gotta look out
for number one, I guess.

You are so lovely.

- What's your point?

- It's just, I knew
the first mrs. Baker,

and she wasn't even remotely
in your league.

I mean ever.

- Are you stoned?

- Sure, I'm the weird one.

You had sex
with a 900-year-old man.

That barrel chest?
Those toenails?

- It probably sounds
like a big joke,

since that what love
always sounds like

to people like you.

But sam took pleasure

in everything in his life
that was real:

His food, his farm,
his business,

and, yes, his wife.

- So when you were a little girl
and you imagined

being with somebody,
that was it?

I can't believe you.

Sam needed me,
and he deserved me,

because he was
wonderful to me.

- You forget you're talking
about someone I knew.

Longer than you,
actually.

He stopped talking to his son.

- Ben stopped talking to him,
and it broke his heart.

Okay, well, maybe you better
run along and get high,

so at least one of us can forget
we had this conversation.

- Honey, what are you doing
out there?

- Just trying to keep these toys
from killing the lawn.

I'll be up in a minute.

- Is something burning?

I smell smoke.

- Morning.
- Morning.

I can make you some eggs
if you want.

- Now, are they the kind
with blood spots in them?

- They're eggs from chickens
who walk around.

- So they do have blood spots
in them.

- Okay, everybody,
are you sitting down?

Sit down, sit down,
sit down, sit.

I had a... sit!

I had an incredible night,

and I swear to god,
it was a visitation,

and, dallas,
I can't thank you enough.

- Are you okay?

- I am beyond okay,
I'm past okay.

I'm not even looking back
at it anymore.

Steve was right,
this is my chance.

Of course, I can't do it alone,
but I was thinking about

taking the money
from the grocery store

and creating an institute
where people can come and study

how to regain man's balance
with nature.

Horticulture, agriculture,
aquaculture.

Angela, you know
about all this shit,

and you can give lessons
on cleaning

and all that women's stuff.
And, steve,

if we're gonna have a society,

we're gonna need
a tv station.

You could have
the whole station.

- That sounds great.

You look like
you haven't slept much.

Why don't you sit down,
and we'll have some breakfast

and talk about the plan.

- You understand
I'm talking

about fundamental changes
to society.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not hungry.

I have a mission statement
to write.

- Is it always like that?

- He usually doesn't make
that much sense.

I'll be right back.

Hey, genius at work.

- I'm modeling it
on plato's school of athens,

only not the socratic method.

It's more like buddha.
You can relax.

I can see what's going on
in your face right now.

- It's 1/10th
of what's going on in my mind.

- You told me that my father
had a plan for me

to do what I wanted,
and this is what I want,

and I'm not leaving you
behind!

The tv station thing
was just off the top of my head.

I want you to know
that I'm grateful.

And the way that I figure it,

there's enough for me
to keep the grocery store

and for you to have
the farm and the house.

And it's not a gift.
You've earned it.

- Suddenly, the plan
seems more appealing,

but I don't think you're...
you seem a little...

- the journey to enlightenment
is stressful.

- No, it's not enlightened.

Great, mom's home.

- Why are you still here?

- Why are you so angry?

- This was my mother's.

- I need you to mellow out.

- I need to keep
my wits about me.

I wanna get this all down.
- Please, you're out of control.

Let's take the edge off.

- Great.

This is my wedding
all over again.

- What are you doing?
This is important shit!

This is a chance
to right your life!

Drugs are not the answer!
- That's what I've been saying!

- Thank god you're here,
because I can't do it all alone.

- Jesus, get out and go away.

I need to talk to my brother.
- He doesn't wanna talk.

- Yes, I do, I have a plan.
I'm gonna start...

- ben, you don't have
to tell her your plan.

- Steve, I would prefer
to forego your input,

since it most recently resulted
in my brother becoming fat,

unemployed, and growing
that superbly antisocial beard.

- Do not talk to him like that.
- No, no, it's okay.

You know what, terry?
I am gonna get out of your way.

So you can direct that rage
where it really belongs...

at your grieving family.

- He doesn't understand
what's going on.

The decisions that you make now
could secure a real future.

- You don't think I know that?
- I'm sorry!

I guess I just
got blindsided yesterday.

- It blew me away too!

I didn't want the headache,
but then I thought,

"all of this is part
of something amazing.

Life stuff, renewal,
rebuilding."

- yes, exactly.

- I mean, this chrysalis
has served us

as we developed
from pupa to adult.

And now, it has to be
shed and eaten.

- What are we talking about?

- I really want to utilize
this capital

to right some major wrongs,

educate some mysteries,
set some ideas free.

- Well, why don't I find a way
to manage my finances

so I can support you
in eight months,

after you've pissed away what
it took dad a lifetime to make.

- I hear where you're coming
from, but it's just money.

It doesn't mean dad
loved me more than you.

- What?

- It doesn't mean dad loved me
more than you.

- He didn't...
love you more.

You were the squeaky wheel,
so you got all the oil.

And if I were you,

I wouldn't rush off to go change
the world quite yet.

- Hello!

Anybody?

I'm gonna go now.

Ben! Ben!

- Yeah, I'm up here.

- Look at you.

Master of all you survey.
- Yeah.

- You know, I wouldn't go if
I didn't have this job thing.

I'll be out next weekend,
I promise.

Plus, you can always call.
- Oh, I'll call.

I'll call as soon as I get
that big fat check for you.

- Hey, you know, I didn't think
you were really gonna do that.

- Hey, buddy,
I love you.

- Take a shower, okay?

- Wait, so you're
just gonna leave?

- Yeah, I gotta get going.

It was really great to see you,
and thanks for the pie.

- That was for dinner.
- I'll be eating dinner.

- No, for everyone.

- You're not as giving
as I thought you were.

- I don't want the pie back.
I just...

well, I guess you know ben
better than I do.

Is he gonna be okay here
by himself?

- By himself?
What, now you're gonna leave?

I mean, with that poor kid
up there?

- So he's not okay?
- He's right as rain.

I mean, his father just died,
he's got a drug problem,

probably some kind of
manic-depressive disorder,

and, honestly, he wasn't
that well screwed together

to begin with,
but he's an adult,

and I have to go back
to do the 4:30 weather.

And though you're under
no obligation,

would it be so bad to take
another two or three weeks

before you do whatever bullshit
you have to do?

- You mean
teaching disabled kids?

- Oh, now they're disabled.

Do you have any actual plans?

- I guess I could take
my time moving out.

- Great.
- You get a week,

and I'm not adopting him.

- Perfect.
I'm gonna leave you my number,

in case
you have to get in touch.

Did you know I'm on tv?

Yeah, actually,
sam bragged about you once.

- I think he liked you, but
he couldn't really express it.

- Yeah, it always came out
as "moron troublemaker."

he hated the irish too.

People forget that.

Okay, now, will you let me know
if I run over a chicken?

'Cause the pie's
all I can eat right now.

- How long
does he stay up there?

- Let me know.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How are you holding up?

I don't know.

It's all temporary, right?

- Angela, you knew, when you
decided to get involved

with a man so much older,
it wasn't for life.

- You are so sentimental.

- Okay, alls I'm saying
is that you had that experience.

Now, don't be afraid
to be with a man your age.

You got a whole time ahead.

- Ben asked me to put these up.

- I have some.
They upset people.

- Hey, ma, samuel stoltzfoos
is outside.

You have to negotiate
the lettuce with him.

- No, listen, I gotta go.
I might need my hands.

Okay.

- Hello, terry.
- Good morning, sunshine.

- It's hard, huh,
without him?

- Yeah, try to keep busy.

- Uh, about ben...

- god, don't stick your nose
in that too.

- I'm living with him, terry.

- Nobody asked you to.
In fact, I'm surprised

that you didn't
blow out of town

on the next guy
who came through.

Jesus, that tongue!

I think you just spoiled
all the vegetables in here.

- You know, you came
into my family very recently

and you started telling
everybody what to do,

which was nothing...
do nothing.

- That is not true!
- You convinced my father

to let a thriving business
go to seed.

"These are the good years!
Life is for living!"

I mean, christ!
A man his age

throwing himself into yoga
and guitar lessons...

- you don't believe in growing!
- You don't grow!

You're a tumbleweed

who blows around whenever
the wind changes.

- Shit, I swore
I wouldn't engage.

I gotta go.

- You know,
people hide in charity.

- Once in a while,
assume other people

are as good as you,
not worse.

- They're not.

- How was the vacation?

- It wasn't a vacation.
- Oh.

Did you get your eyes done?

- Delia
got some fan mail, you know.

- Is that right?

- 100 bucks says
delta's fan mail

came from a member
of the cafeteria staff!

- Corporate thinks
each piece of mail

represents 1,000 viewers.

- What, did she do
a really good job?

- Hey, what was with you

wrestling that bum
the other day?

Nicely done.

- So did you know him
or something?

- You know how it is.
You buy someone a cup of coffee

and suddenly,
they're your best friend.

Do I need my eyes done?

- 30 seconds.

- It would be illegal
to make them any bluer.

- See, that's what I think.

- Spinach check.

- You have no whitening trays?

Now I really can't stay.

- God, it must be tough
having to win the viewers over

one at a time like this.

- You know, while you were off
getting your eyes done

over the weekend, paul flew me
to martha's vineyard

to show me this house,

and it wasn't one of those
stupid cape cod houses

the tourists love.
This was a year-round home

where you could really be
a part of the island.

Paul understands
the limitations of our job,

and, let's face it,
it's a short window

and it's not really based
on skill.

- Yeah, I know that.
Lucky for me,

my finances have kind of been
taking care of themselves.

- Sandwich guy told me
you nailed the baseball pool.

- No, really. I'm coming
into a little piece of property

up in lancaster myself.
I'll probably unload it.

Brian williams
has a place up there.

- I don't think so.

Thanks for the ride.

- Which is why I'm sick
and tired of the bullshit.

- Excuse me, sorry.

I was just passing through.

- Sit, please.
Join us.

Everybody, this is angela,
my stepmother.

- Didn't we meet
at the plastic bag rally?

Oh, your skin is so white.

- I think we should listen now.

- If we create
a non-profit society,

we can reap the tax benefits
of said society.

It is gonna be
a beginning and an ending

of life as we know it,

and that is why I'm calling it
"the omega society."

- I hate to stick
my nose into this, but...

- everyone's voice
has equal merit.

- "The omega society" sounds
like "the omega institute."

it's a holistic
organization.

Environmentalism,
spiritual rebirth.

- It's total synchronicity
is what it is.

Not only is it the perfect name
for our society,

but it already exists.

- I think there's
an omega society too,

so I don't think
legally we...

- justin, it's not
about what is legal!

I grew up out here.

There are amish people
on three sides of this farm.

They don't vote.

They don't join the army.

They don't send their children
to our schools.

When you live off the land
and you're honest,

things fall into place!

You are a beacon
to that babylon out there.

- My cousin lives in oregon.

Ben's right.

- So I've never seen you
at the marriott before.

- Oh, I really shouldn't.

- You just gonna go home
and stare at an empty dog bed?

Chester doesn't get home
from the hospital

till tomorrow, right?

- His name is "clarence,"

he got out
of the hospital today,

and my mom is watching him.

But you sure are
a good listener.

- So are you, and a very
beautiful one, actually.

- I think clarence needs me.

- Seriously,
I'm really fast.

Did you give my number
to someone?

- I don't even have your...
- Shh, one second.

Hello.

- Ugh.

I really didn't mean
to bother you.

Ben's fine, but we just got
this registered letter.

Terry's challenging
the will.

- Why?

I mean, I know why.
But under what grounds?

- Well,
it's ben's competency.

There's gonna be a hearing,

and he has to see
a psychiatrist.

- Can you believe this?

This morning
the bank account was shut down.

It's a classic obstacle
to a pioneer.

It's like galileo
or che or Jesus.

Every great move
has a countermove.

But let me tell you,

my sister's greed is not
gonna stop the evolution

of mind and body
that's going on out here!

- No, no, no, look,
you need to calm down.

Just get a lawyer.

- A law...
you think I'm crazy now?

- Go see the shrink.

It's like giving them the money
if you don't go.

- I could be my own lawyer,
you know?

- There you go.

- I could prepare a brief,

one of those 600-page
obstructionist babies.

They don't know
who they're fucking with.

- Hey, you still there?

- Yes.

Any other fires to put out?

- It is just getting
more and more intense,

and there are a lot of other
people involved now.

- Like you and me?

- No, I mean there are
these hippie kids now

and the store
and now this court thing.

He just seems
very agitated.

I mean, I've been trying
to deal with it,

but...
I'm just glad I could call you.

- You can always call me.

- I'm leaving.
- Maybe you should.

- Oh, my god,
is there someone there?

- No, I'm alone.

Now.

- I'm sorry.

- It's fine.
You're just doing your job.

My job actually.

- I don't really know him.

- He's ben.

He's a blast
most of the time.

But you didn't know
his mother.

He inherited some things
that weren't in the will.

- Yeah, sam mentioned that.

- Probably nothing like
the free love,

whole foods thing
you grew up in.

- My father was an actuary

for the hartford
insurance company.

He died at his desk.
I was still at andover.

- Huh.
Like, say, about sam's age?

- What?
- So you must be loaded.

Is he gonna be okay or not?

- This is the way
it usually goes.

The best thing to do
is keep feeding him.

Food is nature's vicodin.

That's good too, by the way,
if you have it.

You should finally be getting
some rain up that way, you know?

- Hmm.
I'm not too sure about that.

Well, good night.

- Yeah, good night
to you too.

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo!

- Ben?

Ben?

Is he ready?

- Ben, terry's here!

I can't believe
you're doing this.

- Yeah, well, I can't believe
you're still here.

Ben?

Benji, we're going
to the doctor, okay?

There isn't anything
to be...

ben?

Great.

- Why aren't you inside?

Greetings.

- Sorry to keep
bothering you like that.

- I don't think getting
a glass of water

is the biggest inconvenience
for these people right now.

- I was just explaining
my admiration for these people.

They live off the land
in kindness.

They don't believe in war
or pollution.

I'll tell you, one day,
when there's no earth left

'cause we used it up,

there'll be 10 square miles
of lancaster county

where god still exists.

- Why are you naked?

- I didn't want that
chemical smell on me anymore.

- That smell
is not chemicals.

It's b.o., 'cause you have
stopped showering,

and you ruined everything
I bought you at the gap,

which you loved.
- I don't anymore.

- We are going.

This entire incident
is inappropriate

and probably illegal,
and if I were mr. Yoder,

I would make you pay
for the fact

that I missed
two hours of farmwork

so I could ride into town
on a buggy

to get a cop out here.

- You're wrong!
We're having a conversation!

- I don't want to speak
out of turn here,

but felty and sarah
are not being hospitable.

They're pacifists,
and this is how they respond

to being held hostage.

- Gosh, I'm...

I never meant to...
i didn't...

- ben, I think you can keep
the apron.

Let's go.

Yes, the best way to get
the soda out of the bottle

is to shake it
and shake it and shake it.

Need a ride?

- Yes.

- Next time,
go over to the highway

and get anderson to ring
the fire bell for you.

- I will.
I apologize.

I might have been
in a bit of a panic.

- I am terribly sorry,
mr. Yoder.

- I'm sorry to hear
about your father.

- Thank you very much.
We all miss him, obviously.

- He was lucky to have
a long life.

Such a caring daughter.

All he cared about
was his family.

Surely, there's no other reason
for being on this earth.

- What would you do
if you couldn't have children?

- I would pray to god
to send them to me.

- What if you don't
believe in god?

- Maybe that's why
you can't have children.

Honestly, ben,
you really fucked me here.

- My independence of mind
is obviously a threat to them.

- Them?
- Society.

With all their poison.

I'm not putting it
in my body.

- And I respect
that deep-fried temple

that you've built,

but you have
to stop running naked.

- I know. I panicked.

Even the most committed
messenger has a moment of doubt.

- Keep that word "committed"
in mind.

- Next time.

- Oh, you mean
in the courtroom?

Because that's where
we're heading,

and they might not stop
with the money.

They can force you
to take the medicine,

and they can lock you up.

We're studying in here.

- Anyone hungry?
- Not really.

- I gotta go.

- Ben, you okay?

- I don't know.

I'm feeling
a little stressed out.

- I'm stressed out.
You're crazy.

Let's use the word freely
as if it gives us power.

Good night.

- I see you've been
arrested a few times.

Public outbursts,
indecency,

a misdemeanor
related to your profession,

which you listed here
as "small farmer."

I also see that you've
never considered medication.

- Antidepressants?
They have been suggested,

as they have been
to most of america.

- Well, I was thinking
more like a mood stabilizer,

which for most
is a very effective

therapeutic solution.

- No need to resist
the magic of lithium, I know.

We should sprinkle
its salty goodness

over the fries at mcdonald's

until we're
dawn of the dead drooling

towards banana republic,

pushing our carts, dazed,
through the market,

throwing the meat in,

black blood pooling
under so much plastic.

- That's an interesting image.

- Which I wouldn't have
if I was zonked on that shit.

I wouldn't feel this hum
I've got going,

clear, sharp,
and purposeful,

like every ion in my body
is vibrating with genius.

- Marijuana is a chemical.

- It's green
and from the earth.

- But it's a drug,

a way of dealing
with your symptoms.

- Like the drug you get
when you go into a restaurant

or come home after work

or offer a stranger the moment
they come in your house.

Our whole social system
is built around some drug.

Most cultures made beer
before they had an alphabet.

- I'm going to ask you
some questions,

and you can just tell me
yes or no, okay?

Do you experience
sensations of things

that are not there?

Do you hear voices?

Are you afraid right now?

- There are times
that are wonderful,

and there are times
that are horrible,

and the wonderful thing is,
right now, I feel alive.

But the terrible thing is that
you're not asking me how I feel

about my father dying.

- Oh, well, I was going...

- I feel alone
in the universe,

except for steve.

- So why do you think
you're here?

- Because I won the lottery.

Everybody's got their hand out.

- Now action back to barry
with his suited ace.

80,000 to call
to see a flop here.

And he will have to...

- Yes, yes,
you'll clean up later.

No.

Motherfucking god damn
damn it!

Look at it, it's huge.

Leaves and acorns
everywhere.

You gotta get rid of it.

- The building is called
"the oaks."

it's the only one left.

- It's just a tree.

It blocks
all the natural light.

Plus, it decreases
the value of my unit.

I can circulate a petition
if you want,

but you know
everybody feels the same,

and you gotta be sick
of cleaning up all this crap.

- I'll see what I can do.

- Great.
That's all I can ask.

- Oh, and, steve,
thanks for the oriole tickets.

- Freebies, armin.
Don't be impressed.

- I happen to be
in charge here.

Stop asking me
where the debate is,

'cause I'm not going.
- Ben?

- We all agreed
on a starting place,

and that's where it's gonna be,
and it's not about

who's got the most, it...

- Ben, who's in there
with you?

- Hey.

- Were you on the phone?

- No.

- My diagnosis, as I wrote,
is classic bipolar disorder,

euphoric
with schizoid tendencies.

See, I told you.

- So in your assessment,
dr. Vincent,

you see mr. Baker as being
incapable of understanding

any consequences
for his actions?

- Yes.

- That is all we have to say,
your honor.

- Uh, mr. Baker,

have you been
having difficulty

distinguishing
between real and unreal?

- My whole life.

- Hmm.

This is a very serious
diagnosis.

Would you describe him

as a danger to himself
or to other people?

- Actually,
I would say no,

not at this moment.

It is, of course,
completely possible.

- Well, I'm prepared
to rule on this.

Mr. baker, ms. Coulter,

I have to agree
with dr. Vincent's finding

that mr. Baker is...

I'm sorry to talk about you
as though you weren't here,

but this 11-page handwritten
brief didn't help, son.

He is seriously
mentally troubled.

And he's likely
to behave with this money

in an extremely
irresponsible manner.

But hopefully, he won't,
because as long as he's not

a threat to himself
or other people, he can

go out and buy the world's
largest hat if he wants.

- Your honor,
you don't understand.

- Look, your father could have
left his money to his dog.

The law is crystal clear.

If the government
gets their piece,

the mandates of the deceased
are to be observed.

- Ben, I'm just
looking out for you, I swear.

- No, I'm looking out
for you!

- Every time
I think you're crazy,

along comes
the justice system.

- Whoo!

Is this great or what?

- Yeah, glenlivet scotch
in a shit hole like this?

- I'm buying everything.

Bartender,
drinks on the house.

- My man!
- Yeah!

- I am not buying
everybody a drink.

- No, I think he means
drinks are on him.

- What did I say?

- Hey, hey.

My mom... my mom just gave me
the message.

Congratulations.
- Oh, thanks.

It means so much.
- Yeah.

- I don't know if you ever
met my friend, steve dallas.

Steve, this is zed starkovitch.
- Hi.

- He's kind of
the chief administrator

of the whole
omega society.

- I guess we should be saying
congratulations to you.

Can we get
another beer?

- To transforming
society from within.

To being a tapeworm
gnawing on its intestines,

sucking and feeding
on the bile and waste,

growing stronger
every minute.

- Okay, I'm gonna let
you two celebrate.

Zed, can your mom
take you and ben home?

- My mom's blind.

- I'm bottling
this moment.

- You done celebrating?

- You gotta come out here.
You've gotta see this.

- Where's ben?
- Still hanging out.

Look at all these stars.

Have you seen this?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I have.
Pretty great.

- Can you dance?

- You can't handle it.

- Come over here.

What is this?

- What are you
talking about, "this"?

- Don't mess with me.
This.

This place and you
and you.

Your face.

I don't know what to say.

- Because you like me.

What?

Kiss me again or slap me
or something,

but you've gotta stop looking
at me all beautiful like that,

or you're gonna
get more of this.

So you'd like more?

- I don't know.

I don't know who you are.

- Ugh.
I know it's horrible,

but this is really it.
This is who I am.

There's some good in it,
I promise.

I have hobbies and stuff.
I always pick up the check.

- You're stoned.
You're always stoned.

- Actually,
I'm drunk right now,

but again, that's part
of who I am.

My personal ad:
"loves to have a good time."

that's what I mean.

I eat life
out of the big box.

I'm not hiding out here
in the sticks

or wherever it is
you're going to next.

- Doesn't it seem strange

that someone who eats life
like you do,

who has it all,
is trying to escape it?

- I like you.

- I bet you haven't had
an interaction with anyone

in the last ten years
that wasn't warped somehow.

My guess is you've got

some kind of free fall
going on in there,

but you hide it all
under this veil of charm

that people prefer
to real interaction.

I don't.

- You think I'm charming?

Just to be clear,

if I'm sober,
you're interested?

- Good night.

- People treat the environment
like it's a big toilet.

They can dump
everything they don't want,

flush it down, and they're
never gonna see it again.

- Who the hell
do you think you are?

- Excuse me?

- People get
a little bit of money,

all of a sudden, they think
everything they say is true.

You're still
a big fat nothing.

- What?

- You're just a crazy jack-off

making bullshit plans that'll
never amount to anything,

because that's what you are.

Nothing.

Ah!

- Who are you?

Who do you think you are?

- Oh, god!
- Jesus christ!

Hey, what the fuck's
wrong with you?

- Did you hear
what he said to me?

- I just ordered a beer.
- Ben, I heard him, man.

That's all he said.
- You're fucking crazy, man.

- So you talk to the doctor,
and I'll talk to slocum.

- He's okay?

- Yeah.
Couple of stitches.

- Tell him I'm really sorry.

- Solomon,
why don't you have a seat

while your dad and I
have a word?

Ben, I'll be with you
in a minute.

- I'm gonna get us
some coffee.

I'll run you home after.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- You ever read this shit?

I mean, every issue
is exactly the same.

- I guess.

- I mean, look at this,

why do you need a toothbrush
on a desert island?

Why are you here?

- Because I talk to god.

- Oh, really?

- Why are you here?

- Me?
I don't know.

They want me to take
some medication,

be like everybody else.

- Solomon, we'll see you again
on thursday, okay?

- Ben, shall we?

- God wants you
to take your medicine.

- Seatbelt.

- He's still asleep.

- It's incredible that a woman
with such a great hangover cure

can be against drinking.

- I'm not against drinking.
Do you remember sam at all?

- Have you talked to terry?

- She doesn't know
what to do.

- She's just gonna wait
till it doesn't look so bad,

which means it's over.

- I think even ben
knows that.

- Well, I guess you could come
back to the city with me...

and I know what you're gonna
say about cities,

but it's annapolis,
really not even a city.

- Why would I go with you?

- What about dinner?
Can I stay?

Can we think that far ahead?

- What about your job?

- I can't face
doing the weather

in this completely
unadulterated, unpolluted state.

Plus, every time I leave here,
something terrible happens.

- He's a grown man.

I mean, it's admirable,
but I don't think

the issues of his life
are your problem.

- My problem?
You just spent

the last five years
taking care of methuselah.

- We were married.

- See, nobody believes
in friendship.

People talk about it,
you see it on tv...

people drop by,
go to the doctor together,

no one eats alone...
but most people are alone.

That's the thing
about friendship,

it's a lot rarer than love,

because there's nothing in it
for anybody.

- They're just two forms
of the same thing.

- Don't you want me
to stay for dinner?

I'll let you cook.
Just go easy on the sherry.

Remember our agreement.

- We don't have an agreement.

Do you like chicken?
- Like? Try love.

- Go get one.

- You want me to kill someone
at the store for it?

Are you kidding?

- Go on, take it.

You want to be here?
Be here.

- Just like picking out
a lobster.

God damn it.

Ah, it's okay.

Okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.

It's... it's all right.
It's gonna be okay.

Who am I kidding?

Oh, shit, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. Oh, fuck.

Shit! oh.

Jesus.

- Dinner!

- Is that him?

- Her.

- Smells pretty good.

- Hey, everybody.

- I feel like we should
say grace or something.

- Steve?
- Fine, fine!

I killed the chicken! Am I
supposed to feel bad about that?

I mean,
people do it every day.

- No, they really don't.

- Well, then, how am I
supposed to feel?

- I don't know.
Grateful, maybe.

- Oh.

Right. um...

thank you, god,
and this chicken, of course,

who made
the ultimate sacrifice,

uh...
in harm's way.

Amen.

- Great, let's eat.

Would you?

- I thought I was gonna have
a problem with this, but,

damn,
that's a juicy bird.

- It does smell really good.

- You want some?

- Yeah, I think I do.

- Ben?

Okay, so you got
my phone number.

Oh. Here, take it.
It's my last one.

I'm gonna lay off
for a while.

- What am I gonna do
with one joint?

- Yeah, better try and get by,
but when I come back,

I'm bringing you the biggest
bag of dope you've ever seen.

- I don't think so.
- Okay, maybe you've seen

a bigger one,
but I'm bringing a lot.

- Do what you want.
I don't know where I'll be.

- That's kind of ominous,

and because of its
non-sequitur nature,

I'm going to take that
as a "yes" on the weed.

- Why don't you take
all of this as clarity?

You don't have to come back,
okay?

- Suddenly, you're gonna get
your own weed?

- Look, I'm done.
That's it, it's over.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about...

we took the ski lift
to the top of the mountain.

We got off. You're going one way
and I'm going the other.

- There's only one way
to go, down.

You can't get on the lift
without me.

In fact,
you can't even ski.

- I can ski.
- When have you been skiing?

You told that girl you could ski
and I backed you up on it,

but you'd never been skiing.
Then you told her

you'd never been skiing
and you sold me out, remember?

- Forget about skiing!
You're talking stupid shit!

I need you to take this
seriously for once.

Take something seriously!

- Oh, I get it. You're strong.
All has been revealed.

- I'm just saying
this is my problem

and you're exacerbating it!

- You are truly batshit.
- I'm sure it's scary

to take fixing me
off your list of things to do,

because all that's left
is fixing you.

- Oh, wow.
Thank you for that.

Yeah, 'cause I'm
the selfish one here.

There's no chance
you're the asshole.

- Look, you don't know me
and you don't owe me, okay?

- Well, if you feel the need
to punch me in the balls,

knock yourself out.
I'll try and clear my schedule

for the next time
the clarity wears off.

- Hey.
- Are you going?

- Yeah, I gotta get back.

- Oh.

- I got the job, you know.

- No, of course.

- You don't want to walk me
to the car?

- Well, if you're leaving,
you're leaving.

I mean, I can call you
or something.

- Do you not want me to go?

- Well, it's not
gonna be easy here,

and not because
I'm pining for you.

I mean, you know
I'm not gonna leave.

You're counting on it,
so really, you're just using me.

And throw in the fact that
maybe I do have feelings.

- Oh, god, so do I.

- No.

Half a day of sobriety
isn't gonna open that door.

- Well, you can still
walk me outside, you know.

No funny business,
I promise.

- You should go.

I'll stay here until I feel
okay about going

so you can feel okay
about going.

- Now about this
tropical depression

brewing off the florida keys...
it's too early to tell

if this gulf air will hold
and create hurricane conditions,

so victoria,
we will keep an eye on that.

- Thank you, steve.
We certainly will.

- Dallas? Steve dallas?
- Yes, mein fuhrer.

- you know,
for a second out there,

I thought you were sober,
then I realized

you're probably on some drug
I've never even heard of.

- Look at this shit.

Why don't they just get us
tubes, like astronauts?

- I don't know.
The sandwiches are pretty good.

- Chicken bologna?

Do you have any idea
where that even comes from?

- Yeah, a chicken.

- It's a lot harder
than that.

- I didn't know you painted.

- I don't really, but somehow,
tracing these lines

is really gonna help me
remember this place.

'Cause, let's face it,
next time I come back,

it probably won't be here.

- Thanks for cheering me up.

- Try it.

- I really screwed up.

- It wasn't in your control.

- Gauguin packed up as far
from this crap hole as possible,

and the world wasn't even
1/10th as polluted as it is now.

- You feel like packing up?

- No, I don't even feel that.
I just feel like...

it's a pretty nice day,
and I hate myself

for being the guy
that only has that to say.

- Need another club soda,
mr. Dallas?

- Does anyone ever need
another club soda?

What's going on here?

- A real estate seminar.

Lot of ladies trying
to change their lives.

- Is it good?

- It's filled
with bizarre details

and super-weird bullshit.

- You've never read anything
you've liked that was like that?

- It's not me.
Actually, it was me.

That's what makes it
so depressing.

Now it's just this... unfinished,
unfocused, unrelenting.

I'm a guy in the desert
who's run towards a mirage.

I'm still really thirsty
and my mouth is full of sand.

- Write that down.

- I don't think it's mine.

- It's gonna take time.

- I just wish it was
some crippling depression,

instead of this disappointment.

How do you all live here
without looking

for a high place
to jump from?

- I can't sell you on life.

- 'Cause there's nothing to it!

Nothing at all.

- Life doesn't stand up
to thinking.

Smell the air out there.
There are wonders.

All I feel is time passing.
It's overwhelming.

I wasted so much.

I gobbled it all down
without even tasting it.

- So start over.

- Just like that?

I'm sorry, I'm gonna give it
ten more minutes,

if that's okay.

That's decaf, right?

- Sorry I'm late.

- Oh, my god, you shaved.

- What can I say.
You know how erratic I am.

- What did you want
to talk to me about, ben?

- Actually,
I wanted to thank you.

- Look, I didn't wait
40 minutes

for you to show up
so we could have a fight.

- Terry, I mean it.
I can't help but think

that even through all this,

that what dad wanted was for us
to deal with all this together.

- I'm sorry, but I know
you're only one sentence away

from telling me that
you want to turn the store

into an 1850s laundromat that
runs on whale oil or something.

Except god forbid
anybody hurt a whale.

No.

I have become...

Acutely aware of my limitations,

and I guess what I'm saying is,
is that

whatever you have in mind,
I'm okay with.

- Excuse me?
Are you wearing a wire?

- I'm serious.

- Well, I've been
tossing around the idea

of converting the store
into something more modern.

- And profitable?
- Is that a sin?

- No, that's good,
that's what I wanted to hear,

because I have some plans
for the farm.

- What, give it to angela?
Perfect.

- You don't even know her.
- Yeah, I know that she has

some freaky power
over all the men in my family,

and that probably comes
from under her sundress.

- Terry, I'm asking you, please,
don't talk about her like that.

- Okay.

Okay.

It's a million dollars
of undeveloped land.

- And that's why I want to have
a say about what happens to it.

- And you get lunch.

- Look, whatever it takes.

I just don't want it
to be like this anymore.

- You look just like dad.

- Okay, we feed in 15 seconds.
Come on, people!

I don't have a fucking image.

All right,
this is a newsroom.

Can I get some people
walking back and forth, please?

And let's clean up this...
oh, forget it.

- Three, two...

- as promised, we're continuing
to track this storm,

now, from the national
weather service,

known officially
as "hurricane gordon,"

about to make landfall
just south of charleston here.

Expect 85-mile-per-hour winds
and flooding,

2 to 3 inches per hour.

Now, you folks in the area,

whether the government
makes you or not,

just get yourselves
out of there.

Your lives are a hell of a lot
more important than your houses.

This is steve dallas
in the channel 18 storm center.

Stay dry and stay safe.

- And we're out.

- Nicely done! Yes!

I love that bit about the people
down in charleston.

Our local old ladies
are gonna cream!

- And from what delia tells me,
this is hell of a storm.

Those people needed
to be warned.

- Yeah, well, those people
lost power six hours ago.

They're not watching tv.

- Jesus. Really?

So why the hell are we
doing this?

- Local people are interested.
They might run us national,

unless those douchebags
in baltimore snake us again.

- I don't want to bother you.
- Oh.

I'm just going through some
of your dad's stuff.

I probably should've buried him
in his madras shorts.

Would have felt
more like a vacation.

- I talked to terry
like you suggested.

- It wasn't bad, right?
- It was great.

And, um,
the other night too.

That really happened,
didn't it?

- Yes. Yes, it did.

- I can't tell you
how much that meant.

- Well, someone had to
welcome you back to the world.

- How did you end up
with my dad?

- Uh...
i guess it was all this.

It's hard to resist
the temptation

to step into a normal life.

- I know you told dad
you didn't want anything.

- Yeah, I said that,
and I really meant it,

but you think he would have
just given me

just, like, one little thing.

Anything, just for sentimental
reasons, a gesture.

- Well, you deserve
whatever you want.

I could try to find a way to...
- No, no, no.

Not from you.

I mean, it's sweet, thank you,
but...

it's not the same.

- I thought, since you know,
you didn't know

what you're going to do,
that you could talk to steve

about the farm and the house.

I'm sure he doesn't know
what he's going to do either.

- What do you mean?

- I'm giving this all
to dallas.

- What?

- I promised it to him
after the will.

- Huh.
I didn't know that.

- It's an odd marriage,
but I kind of owed it to him.

Why? Did you want it?
- No. Mm-mmm.

- Are you okay?
- Sure. You?

- Yeah. Terry's gonna help me
find a smaller place.

I'll never forget how you
held this family together.

- It's me.

I hope I'm using this right.

It keeps asking me
to press star,

which I don't think we have
on this phone.

Oh, there it is.
Listen, man...

Listen, man,
I know we haven't talked.

I'm just gonna say it
because it keeps cutting me off.

I miss you.
I've been thinking about things,

and I want to make good
on things,

and I know angela miss...

Okay, now, I gotta talk fast
'cause if I stop talking,

the thing will cut me off.
All I wanted to say was

come down if you're ever free,
and I'm good. Bye.

Hello...

- Morning, slugger.
Four reports in six hours,

a station manager's wet dream.

You got two hours to get
cleaned up for your 12:30.

- That's it, I'm done.
- What?

- I think it's time you find
a new entertainment reporter,

someone who's comfortable with
what a waste of time this is,

someone who isn't aware
of the fact

that any six-year-old can
stick their arm out the window

and tell you
what it's gonna be like today.

Dave, I would like
to introduce you to delia,

an actual meteorologist,

and yes, she doesn't look
like miss america,

she looks like someone who went
to m.i.t., because she did.

- Can't you ever
just make it easy?

Do you have to suck the good
out of everything?

- Good luck, sweetheart.

- He kissed me.

- "Amish farms super store"?

- Yes, but
without the question mark.

- If you believed in anything,
you would realize

this is why people go to hell.

- Have you talked to ben?

- Ben agreed to this?
Underground parking?

- Honestly, we spoke
in rational means as a family,

and this was the decision
that we made,

and luckily for both of us,
you're not part of the family.

- No, no, congratulations,
you won, and I don't mean

the battle over the will, I mean
for biggest twat of the year.

- Boy, you really don't know
how to talk to a woman

you're not trying to screw.

Ben and I reconciled,
and your opposition to that

makes me feel like you
just don't want to be alone

in whatever weed-powered dance
you two have shared

for the last 25 years.

- I want him to get better.

- Then for once,
leave him be!

He's going to have
a lifetime of prosperity,

and I'm sure he and angela
will be very happy.

- What?

- Maybe it's sick,
but those two found each other.

I know it sounds weird,
but I actually believe

that my brother and
my stepmother belong together.

- What, they're together?
Says who?

- Oh. Steve, they are.

Sorry, you're gonna have to
find someone else

who's in worse shape
than you now.

- Go fuck yourself.
- Go fuck yourself too!

- Beard.
- Yeah, you like it?

- Is angela here?

- I don't know
if you got my messages.

That's why I wanted you
to come up,

'cause I wanted to tell you
the great news,

that the farm is yours
to do whatever you want with.

- Fan-fucking-tastic.
Angela around?

- Now, don't be mad,
but terry's gonna get the store.

It's the best way to go.
- That is great, great news.

Do you know where angela is?

- Are you okay?
I think she's upstairs.

- Upstairs? Where you were
just screwing her?

- What are you talking about?
- Oh, I guess I don't know

if you were just screwing her.

- that's a weird thing to say!

- Really?
Because it is sick!

If it isn't amish country's own
mary magdalene.

Did you wash his feet first

or just pull him down
off the cross and bone him?

- What?
- Hold on, calm down.

You're being very...
- No, no, stay out of this,

I'm warning you, ben.
Stay out of this!

- Why are you angry?
- Because you fucked my friend!

- Who told you that?
- Everybody knows!

- That's none
of your business!

- I guess nothing's
none of my business.

- I never promised you
anything.

You got the farm.
Isn't that what you wanted?

- Stop it!
I'm gonna have the two people

I care about most in the world
fight like this!

You got it all wrong.
Now, cool it!

- Fine. Fine.

What happened?

Oh, god. This is so bad.

You assholes!
Both of you, such assholes.

You don't care about anything.

Jesus, you know
what she means to me!

- It's not what you think.
- I didn't know.

But it doesn't change anything,
I swear.

- The hell it doesn't!

I thought
I meant something to you.

- Because I thought
you were helping a sick friend,

not making a real estate deal!

- What? I was! But aren't I
entitled to something?

- Yes.

- You don't know
where I have been,

the shit I have done
to deserve you.

- I talked to terry,

and it's yours to do
whatever you want with it.

I don't know what say except
I hope you take a look

at yourself and realize
how much is there.

Steve, you got to get
your shit together.

- I hope one day you find out
what you really care about.

- I hope one day you learn
to solve a problem

without sleeping with it.

- What happened
between me and ben

had nothing to do with you
or my feelings for you.

- Oh, come on, you sell
all this nature shit

and honesty and feelings,
but you're just

this empty little girl
with no responsibilities

who gets anything
and everybody she wants

because
she's so goddamn pretty.

And believe me, I know
what I'm talking about.

I do the weather on tv.

You got a week
to get off my land.

- I got that.
- Thanks.

You're the new guy?

Pulled all the strings
and got a south unit?

- Sorry.

- I'm alli. That's conner.
- Ben.

- Buenos dias.

You wanted to see me?
- Wanted to see you?

I was calling you...
what is that?

- last one in the case.
You're out of luck.

Ah, hell.
- I must've called you

a hundred times...
you never answered.

- I just thought you wanted
to fire delia,

and obviously, I was right.

- Interesting thing about delia.
I ran it by corporate,

and if she promises
to get a boob job,

which she's on board with,
she can do the weather.

- Why'd you want to see me?

- With victoria
getting married...

- god, I never thought
that was gonna happen.

- With victoria
getting married,

there's an opening
on the anchor desk.

Now, as much as I'd prefer
someone who shows up,

after the last storm watch, and
then you disappearing like that,

we received, like,
7,000 letters

expressing their concern for you
and a wish to see you again.

- You mean seven letters.

- The point is, we have
an opening if you want it,

the big seat.
Plus now, we got

this totally stacked chick
next to you doing the weather,

and you'll never want
for money.

- God, I'm just wondering
what it would take

to get fired around here.

- Is this your coffee or mine?
Because I have to drive home.

- They're all my coffee.

- Overpaid prick.

- Five seconds.

- Good afternoon, annapolis.

Federal investigators
responding...

- You missed my shower.

- Sorry, I got hit
by a pile of money.

Any lots available near you
on martha's vineyard?

- Don't you want me
to be happy?

- Not sure I want that
for anybody.

I'm going to miss fucking you.

I used to think there was more,
but there isn't.

One new message.

- Hi, this is beverly,

confirming your date
for tonight.

Her name is carla,
and she's a petite redhead,

but it's the good redhead.

Think nicole kidman,
not howdy doody.

And just so you know,
she has a lot of regulars.

- Hey.

You get my letter?
- Letter?

Got a fedex full of weed.
Subtle.

You want some salmon?

- I thought salmon
was for assholes.

- Everything else
has so much mercury.

- I drove 2 1/2 hours,
and I ended up

back in my own apartment.

- Except I don't have the view.

- Me either.
They cut the tree down.

- Good for you.
How was she?

- Wasn't worth a tree.
You gonna open the wine?

- You can have some.
There's a glass in the...

- oh, Jesus,
don't be so proud of yourself.

You know, like less than 10%
of the people

who even take the shit you're on
ever stay on it?

- I defer
to your drug expertise.

- Why'd you fall in love
with her

and ruin everything for me?

- I didn't fall in love
with her.

- That's worse!
You ruined everything.

- No, you ruined everything!

First of all, I'm not in love
with her, and I never was.

- But you slept with her anyway?
Why would you do that?

Okay, let's say
I understand that.

- But you don't.

She helped me,
let me feel something again.

- So she makes me stop
getting high, but you get sex?

What a shitty, shitty deal,
and for what?

For this?
What happened to you?

- I'm still me.

- Bullshit. You're ben lite!

- I'm ben prime. I'm still
the same guy from sixth grade!

- No.

Man, you're a million miles
away from that kid.

- I swear, this isn't bad.

I'm just functioning now
like everyone else.

- So this is it?

- Well, maybe that's
what's wrong with the world.

We keep looking and grabbing
and eating and smoking

and never stop to think,

"who could want
more than this?"

- You're here.
That's all that matters.

- Hey, there.
- Hi.

- I know, it's a lot of junk,
but I'm a really good mother.

- Hey.

- I'm sorry. I was gonna leave
in the morning.

- Well, I...

- what?

- You know anything
about running a farm?

- More than you.

Come inside.
- No.

- Why are we here?

- We're waiting
for the rain to stop.

- Can I ride it?

Could you?

Hey.

Um, mom said wednesday.

I don't know why.
She said wednesday.

Um...

no, I mean, you can...
barbecue's fine.