All language subtitles for Angel.From.Hell.S01E11.The.Flask.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-RCVR_Subtitles01

All right, ladies,
how are we feeling

about these wedding
cake choices?

My favorite is
the rum soaked.

None of them
are rum soaked.
All mine are.

Thank you so much for tasting
these cakes with me.

No problem-- I moved
Pilates to tomorrow,

and I rescheduled
my teeth cleaning.

Though after all this cake,
I will definitely need Pilates

and a dentist and maybe
a shot of insulin.[Kelly chuckles]

Hank is so busy
at work lately.

At this rate, I may need you
to pinch-hit as the groom.

And for the record,
I do look great in a tux

and a shoe-polish mustache.

In the eighth grade,
I misunderstood the rules

of the Sadie Hawkins dance.

That's my girl.
Go big or go home.

I went home.

You look great
in anything.

Isn't she a
wonderful friend?

Look at all that
she's doing for you.

Okay, so I do hate
to ask you this,

but there is one more thing
I need help with.

Do you have any plans
this weekend?

Well, um, actually I have

this awesome medical conference
in Palm Springs.

It's, like, spring break
for skin doctors.

But instead of wet T-shirts,
we wear long-sleeve T-shirts,

because that desert sun
is no joke.

Sounds cool, uh,
but I was gonna see

if you could help work
on my invitations with me.

Oh, of course you
were, bride-rilla.

I think you mean
"bridezilla."

Uh, no, not when you're acting
like a big gorilla,

pushing people around
and flinging your own poo.

Okay, I think we can find some
time to do that before I go.

Yeah, what are bridesmaids for?

Mmm, well, historically,
they were decoys,

so they would get kidnapped
before the bride would.

Uh, but their lime-green
dresses always gave them away.

[fakes laughter]
She is so funny...

and aggressive
and always around.

I think I have the liners
and envelopes in my car.

So I'm just...Great, I'm gonna help her.

♪

Oh, uh, by the way,
you wanted me

to remind you when it was
the first of the month.

Yes, yes, awesome.

Thank you so much.

You remember any context clues
around that?

Yeah, the context was rent.

Rent.Uh, no, thank you.

Saw it in the '90s, huge bummer.

I'm more of an Anniegal myself.

No, we agreed this month you
were going to start paying rent.

Oh, I have your rent...
right here.

[chuckling]:
Well, don't get up.

I am getting the impression from
the crossed-out word "classes"

that this money was supposed
to be spent on classes?

Yeah, I was gonna go
back to school

and learn a new skill set,
better myself and find a job.

Well, what happened
to your magic gig

at the farmers' market?

I lost it.

You make a kid disappear
for 20 seconds, you're a hero.

20 minutes, you're
a person of interest.

You know what, I think taking
classes is a great idea.

You should spend your money
on your education.

That way you can get
a regular job,

and you can pay me every month.

Wow, you are really
a good friend.

Just focus on your studies
and pay me when you can.

♪ Bet your bottom dollar
that I will. ♪

Okay.

[knocking on door]

Hey, Dad, you
ready for lunch?

Yeah, just a second.

I'm having phone trouble.

Oh, you know what?

Tell me if you get this text.

[phone whooshes]

"Did you get this? Love, Dad."

Yeah, I got it.
[chuckles]

Old people always
be signing their texts.

Damn it, this thing works.

I haven't talked
to Linda in days,

and I just assumed
that my cell phone

and my computer
and my iPad

and my work line
and my Blu-ray player

were all on the fritz.

[gasps]

Sounds like you
got ghosted.
Maybe.

I mean, I can't take
it off the table,

seeing as how I don't
know what it means.

No, ghosting is when,

instead of dumping you,

someone stops
communication altogether.

Poof.

They're gone.

That's barbaric.
Who would do that?

A spin instructor.
What?

Yeah, I just got ghosted

by a spin instructor
I'd been seeing,

which was a huge bummer

because as I said twice,

she was a spin instructor.

Linda would never
do that to me.

We did have a little tiff

at our last movie
night date, but...

Tell me more
about this tiff.

Was it because you were
repeatedly trying

to guess who
the killer was?

I wasn't guessing.

It was the albino.

He didn't have any melanin,
but he certainly had a motive.

It's something that you do
that's totally annoying, Dad,

and, unfortunately,
grounds for ghosting.

Poof.

Let's get lunch.

AMY:
Great work, everybody, huh?

Wasn't that fun? So good.

Oh, and, Phyllis,
remember,

silly accents are
a comedy crutch.

Amy?

Oh, 'allo, guv'na.

ALLISON: These are the
classes you've been taking?

Improv?

Well, I would come up with
a witty off-the-cuff way

to say yes, but I am drained.

I thought you were doing
something to help you get a job.

Oh, I am. Improv school teaches
you to think fast on your feet.

Here, give me a situation.

Here's a situation.Mm-hmm.

You need a job
so you can pay rent.

[imitating robot]:
Robots don't pay rent.

Nor do they feel love.

And scene.

Wow, that got sad.

Tomorrow I'm gonna
help you find a real job.

Oh, I already have a real job.

One that pays.

Oh, being a guardian angel
pays in smiles.

Now give me one.

[imitating robot]:
Human, you owe me a smile.

Allison, you don't have
to help me find a job.

My gosh, I know
how busy you are,

what with Kelly's invitations,

your Palm Springs convention.

I know how important
that is to you.

Well, it is the Who's Who
of the SoCal derma world,

but it's okay,
I can be a little tardy.

Anyway, so my friend told me

they are looking for a
receptionist at their law firm.

Oh, a receptionist.

Well, I have been told I have
a very sexy phone voice.

At least according to
my former boss at the hotline.

No, it's not
what you think.

It was a suicide hotline.

Ultimately, not a good fit.

Okay, um, did you put together
a résumé like I asked?

I did, I was up all afternoon.

Okay.

Uh, eclectic work history.

Drug counselor,
computer programmer.

It says you were
a licensed masseuse

in the Albuquerque technique?

Yeah, it's a modality
of body work

in which the practitioner
wears a lot of turquoise,

and, uh, well, it gets pretty
unlicensed in the end.

Under "objective,"
it says "sustained."

Yes, I'm interviewing
for a legal position, correct?

Yeah.

Um, okay.

So let's talk
about your interview.

Now, I...

came up with
a list of tips.

Thank you.
Yep.

And I bought you some
work-appropriate attire.

Oh, Allison, I think I know
what work-appropriate attire is.

Ooh, look at that.

Oh, a sleeved vest.It's a blazer.

Well, what you call a blazer,
I call a sleeved vest.

What you call overalls,
I call a panted vest.

And what you call
"keeping a secret,"

I call "playing it close to..."

I get it.

"...the boobs," Allison.

"Playing it close
to the boobs."

Never anticipate me.Okay.

♪

You were right.

She ghosted me.

Poof?

Poof!

You're gambling online again?

You know what you need?

I'm taking you to a place

where guys forget
about their exes,

clear their minds
and just be men.

Linda who? Am I right?

That might be the biggest
rack I've ever seen.

Ah, come to Papa.

Yes.

Thank you, Paulo.

And, remember,
green means go,

so keep the meat coming.

Yes.

Hey, how'd
the interview go?

Pretty well, I think.

I used those tips
you gave me.

I demonstrated a high level
of responsibility.

Nice to meet you, Amy.

Can I get you
something to drink?

No, I really shouldn't.

I've already had a few.

I established
a personal connection.

Might I say your husband
is quite bangable.

That's my son.

Oh, that explains
the soccer uniform.

And I wowed her

with my extensive knowledge
of the legal system.

Biking, boating and beekeeping.

Now...

convince me why
I should work for you.

I think I'm in
pretty good shape.

They introduced me to HR
and the head of security.

Feels like a done deal.

Back again, Brad?

Are you celebrating another
big win in online poker?

What? I don't do that anymore.
[chuckles]

'Cause of the promise
I made to this guy, my dad.

Izabella,
my dad.

He just got ghosted.

Let's talk about that.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Let me get you some meat.

Hey, thanks.

Hey, lucky Brad, eh?

No, just regular Brad tonight.Okay.

I can't believe
I got ghosted.

Hey, that's the modern woman
for you: breaks your heart,

then bikes into the sunset.

Figuratively, of course.

They actually bolt
those cycles to the floor.

The kicker, of course, is
that men invented ghosting.

We called it "I'm going out
for a pack of cigarettes,"

which, by the way,
was nothing to be proud of.

Of course not, but at least we
had the decency to lie.

We could ghost an entire family.

Yeah, ever hear
of a deadbeat mom? No.

Never.And, again, just vile behavior.

[cell phone chimes]Oh, I wasn't ghosted.
We're not over.

Well, that bit me in the ass
faster than I thought it would.

"Sorry, Marv, forgot to turn
my phone off airplane mode

after the movie."

"Just now got your messages.

How about we see
each other tomorrow?"

I am sorry
for misleading you.

You did not
get ghosted.

Congratulations.

I'm glad for you, Dad.

Although I still did.

And it ends tonight.

You know what,
I'm taking a stand.

For every guy that ever sent
a "What up, girl?"

and never got a "'Sup?" back.

You're ramping up.
Where are we going?

I'm gonna go do
what no man in the midst

of a gigantic Brazilian
steakhouse meal

has ever done before.

I'm going to spin class.

After the meat settles.

Yeah, you got to take
it easy now, okay?

Let's go to the chicken next.

Wow, well, I guess
that's your call then, huh?

And your loss.
Huh?

All right, take care.

I got some really bad
and surprising news.

I didn't get that job.Ugh.

Although they didn't say this,
I think I was a close second.

I'll take comfort in that.

I'm sorry. Well, we'll keep
looking until you get one.

Wow, look at you
still trying to help.

That is both kind
and a little delusional,

seeing as how you're
a three-dimensional being

trying to help out
an eleven-dimensional one.

All right, I've got
exactly six hours

to pick up... Wait,
where are you going?

I'm gonna get you
that rent money.

What? Oh. Oh, God.

You're reaching
into your vest.

Please don't hold up
that antique store!

What are you doing?!

All right, how
much for that?

This old flask?Yeah, and don't try to
low-ball me, all right?

I know exactly how
much it's worth.

Amy, you don't have
to do this.

I'll give you 25 for it.

Deal.

Amy, you love that flask,

and you're not gonna put
a dent in your money troubles

by selling it for 25...

CLERK:
$25,000.

[gasps]Here you go.

And there you go.

Wait, what? H-How is
that flask worth 25 grand?

It's actually a very rare piece.

And flasks are having a moment.

So are vests.

I'm white-hot, Allison.

White-hot.

Rent.

No, no, not here.

You're dropping money.Oop.

I got it.
Fumble.

Might I suggest a bank?
Or investing it?

Or at least taking it
out of that see-through bag?

Well, I would
love to, Allison,

except angel rules
explicitly state

that no angel
shall have

more than $128 at
the end of any day.

And she needs to spend all of
that excess money on her human.

Amy, please.
Mm-hmm?

I have got to get
these invitations out.
Mm.

And I have to get
to Palm Springs.

The specialty cocktail?
Yeah.

The Ecze-margarita.

The wine?
Rosé-cea.

It's gonna be off the hook!

Oh, it's not.

And you know how much
trouble I've been getting in

with corporate lately,
so don't be a bummer.

Let me spend 25 grand
on you in under a day.

I don't have time
to argue with you.

I'm gonna take
that as a yes.

Oh, ma'am?

I would like to give you

$500

for half that sandwich.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, not hungry
for stranger food.

Wow, you just
dropped half a G

on a boomerang sandwich.

Geez, this is gonna be
easier than I thought.

Okay, I have
one $1,000 fan,

$23,500 in cash.

Who wants to play money grab?

Not me!
Ah.

I have got to get
to Palm Springs.

Clock is ticking
on these invitations.

Which apparently
I'm doing myself.

Well, what happened to Kelly?

[laughs]
She drank way too much

free champagne
at the bridal shop

and she needs a couple hours
to sober up.

[laughing]:
You can't get drunk

on champagne.

And you are a little
contortionist, aren't you?

You are bending over backwards

to please your friends.

You're changing all your plans.

You're letting one of them
buy you a trampoline.

I don't want one.

Well, then don't look out
in the backyard.

[doorbell rings]Now what?

Well, maybe it's
something very helpful

and expensive.

Hmm, let's see.

Hello, Ms. Fuller.

I am Melvin.

Your butler for the day.

I did not order a butler.

I did.
Didn't tell you.

Played that one
close to the boobs.

Come on in, Melvin.

Get cracking.

Would the lady of the house
care for a beverage

or perhaps a light dusting
around the home?

Actually, I would love a cup
of coffee and some help

with these invitations.As you wish.

Your coffee will be served
in eight minutes.

[gasps]
Are you okay?

I don't need glasses.

Reverse poof.

I apologize
for Sixth-Sensing you all.

But this class is being taught

by a ghost.

Brad, what are you doing here?

Striking a blow
against ghosting.

Noble cause, bro.
That move is cold.

Thank you, Bike Seven.

When you disappeared on me,

you deprived me of the closure
that man deserves.

Nay, a human deserves.

I only did that

'cause I didn't want it
to be awkward.

That ship has sailed.

Stay out of this, Bike Ten.

I'm here now.

So what happened with us?

Tell me to my face.

You really want to know?

I deserve to know.

On our first date,

you were five minutes late.

You talk about
real estate a lot.

You say the word "octopus"
weird.

And I think you might
have a gambling problem.

Thank you.

Now I know why we broke up.

'Cause you're judgmental
and hypercritical.

Turned it around.Thank you, Bike Seven.

You might want
to clip in for this one.

And that is why you had
to ghost me, because if you

realized how absurd you
just sounded, oh, my God.

Five minutes late?
That's California early.

I was talking about real estate,
'cause that's my job

and you were
buying a house.

And I have no idea what you're

talking about with "octopause."Octopus.

That's what I said, octopause.How are you not hearing this?

Well, you know what
I do know how to say

that you don't?

Good-bye.

Um, what about the gambling?

Shut up, Bike Ten.

AMY:
So, how's the pressure--
too much, too little?

Why are you the one
asking me these questions?

I paid a thousand bucks
for that massage.

I'll ask all the questions
I like.

You know,
this actually is relaxing.

[sneezes]

Was relaxing.

Sorry.
Allergies.

[sneezes]Okay.

I'm gonna run to the bathroom

and get you an allergy pill.

AMY:
Uh, generous offer.

However, there are

no allergy pills.

I crushed them all

and used them
to rim my margaritas.

Maybe a little
fresh air then?

Okay.

MELVIN:
Coffee is served!

[glass breaking]

Coffee will be served
in eight minutes.

Coffee will be
served in eight minutes.

[imitating Morgan Freeman]:
Allison rolled her eyes
and shook her head.

Her goals seemed farther
away now than ever.

Not now, fake Morgan Freeman.

Why is he here?

Well, I can't afford
the real Morgan Freeman.

And you once told me that his
voice was very soothing to you.

Remember?

[harp playing]

And that is why I also
bought you a harpist.

Okay, people.

I should already be
on the road to Palm Springs,

so if you're here to work,
I'm gonna put you to work.

Everyone
on the assembly line now!

Allison was frustrated
with everybody,

save the Morgan Freeman
impersonator,

who was crushing it.

MARV:
Okay.

I'm gonna try
this movie thing again.

I promise
I've learned my lesson.

Thank you for
trying it my way.

I'll talk to you
in 90 minutes?

Okay.

[dramatic music playing]

I can't do it.
Oh.

15 seconds in and I know
who the killer is.

Marv!
It's the assistant
football coach.

We got to talk.

What is going on?

I like to guess whodunit.

And you don't.

And when I thought
you ghosted me,

I got to thinking, how much
do we have in common?

Okay.

So, tell me if you're interested
in any of the following:

fixing old cameras,
Sunday crosswords...

I ghosted you on purpose and
then totally chickened out.

Did not see
that twist coming.

I started to realize
that we really

don't have that much
in common either.

Other than being old friends.

So maybe having
shared memories

isn't the same
as having shared interests?

You can't say we didn't try.

I think I know what might be

a great ending to our movie.

Not gonna happen, Marv.

A gentleman always offers.

Sorry about you
and the spin instructor.

Sorry about you and Linda.

It's for the best.

Some of the greatest movies

have sad endings--
Sophie's Choice.

Terms of Endearment.

Notebook.

BOTH:
Gosling.

And don't forget
about the movie Seven.

When he finds
her head in the box.

Although I totally
saw that coming.
Really?

That's one he didn't even get.
He was convinced

it was just
a cake in the box, right?

You're so funny, Brad.

"Cake in the box."
[laughs]

I'm beginning to think that
this never-ending meat parade

has prevented me
from realizing

that she is Brazilian,
hot and into me.

If you'll excuse me, Dad.

You know what?

I'm gonna switch it to green
and let her come to me.

Too much meat,
getting up too fast again?

Don't know.
Blacked out as soon

as I stood up
and got back down.

Still kind of out of it.

Okay, we have allergy pills
for the sneezy masseuse.

Tissues for the harpist
with boyfriend problems.

That's what I get
for dating a woodwind.

Allison rushed around,
helping the folks

that Amy had hired
to help her.

Uh, dude, this, uh,
glue stick isn't working.

I know, I'm barely
getting a buzz. [sniffs]

Well, it took 90 minutes
longer than expected,

but coffee is served.Thank you.

Oh, my, it's so dark in here.

Let me turn on some light.

Oh, no.

[all clamoring]

Oops, that was not the light.

Okay, that's it!

I have tried to be patient!

But I am done
taking care of you guys!

And I am done
taking care of Kelly!

I am leaving
for my trip right now.

Because for once,
I am going to stop worrying

about being a good friend
to everybody else,

and just take care of myself.

Okay.

Why are you slow-clapping?

Because you did it.
You finally did it.

You finally put your own needs

ahead of everybody else's.

[whispers]:
What are you talking about?

Allison, this has all been
a great big lesson for you.

And my improv class!

Oh, Amy, don't tell me...

Thing that you've been...?Yep, that's right.

These are all improv actorsOh.

from my class.

I watched the whole thing
from the window.

Guys, you were amazing.

Such great choices.

Thanks for taking
care of the baby.

He's in on it, too?

So, the flask, the money,
the...?

All improvised!

Based on a loose outline.

Okay, I get it.

And like all improv shows,

I'm left feeling unsatisfied

and cheated out of my time.

Thanks for the lesson.
Time to go.

All right, everybody, into the
garage for a cast party, huh?

[whoops]
Great work!
Yeah.

You were so grounded.
It was so much fun.

Well...

You know, just
like in class.

[all clamoring]

AMY:
Good work!

Hi.
Hi!

How are the invitations?

Uh, well, I only got
about halfway through.

And I'm already late
for my conference.

And to be honest with you,

I could just use
a little time to myself.

Oh, my gosh!
Of course!

I mean, you should've
said something sooner.

You always put too much
pressure on yourself.

I got it.
I can take it from here.

Okay.[speaks indistinctly]

Hey, how was your conference?

Awesome.
Seminars all day.

Swimming all night.

Well, you're paler
than when you left.

Thank you.
Ooh!

I have something for you.

Your rent money.

I thought that money was fake.

Well, it was, but that there

money is from my new job.

I'm teaching
that improv class now.

Really?

You're teaching improv?

Yeah.

And I'm really good at it, too.

My mind just
really lines up with it.

You give me a character,
and I can stay in it for years.

Hmm.

Years.

FAKE MORGAN FREEMAN:
Oh, Allison
had her doubts, sure.

Who wouldn't?

But deep inside,
she wanted to believe.

Didn't we all?

I kept him over the weekend.

You're right.
It's so soothing.