All language subtitles for Angel.From.Hell.S01E08.Practice.Guy.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-RCVR_Subtitles01

All right, I hope
you all enjoy this.

This is a little preparation for
next Sunday when Linda's here.

Brad, sorry I didn't
wrap everything in bacon.

[chuckles]

Wait, seriously,
there's no bacon?

ALLISON: It's so sweet
you want everything

to be perfect for Linda.

AMY:
Ah, who would have thought

the only Fuller getting tail

in this family would be
the Silver Hedgehog?[chuckles]

Yeah, nickname's not
really catching on,

so stop trying, okay?

But, uh, Tower of Terror's
got a great point.

I don't want Linda
to feel uncomfortable

as the only plus-one;
why don't you two bring dates?

You want us to bring first dates
to a family dinner?

Although it wouldn't be the
weirdest first date I ever had.

Thank you, Holocaust museum.MARV: It's a challenge.

Bring dates to the barbecue
next Sunday.

What about
the receptionist at work?

What's-her-name,
that you're obsessed with.

Oh, I don't even...
Oh, that girl.

Uh, Clara, I think, is her name.

No, I'm not obsessed with her.

I barely even mention her.

"Dad, Clara's wearing
glasses today."

"Dad, Clara's eating a bagel."

"Dad, Clara's choking."

"Dad, Clara's fine."[chuckles]

I almost gave her
mouth-to-mouth.

Would have been
a great first kiss story.

AMY: Hey, Allison,
how about that lawyer

you've been drooling over

for the last few weeks--
what's his name, Hugh?

The guy on your floor.

Why don't you ask him out?

Drooling? What? I don't even...

[scoffing]:
Huh?

All right, I'm gonna
stop you right here,

'cause you're spitting
all over the zucchini.

Allison's in, I'm in, too.

Anything for
the Silver Hedgehog.

Nickname's catching on.

It's getting
traction.

Like a runaway train, Marv.

White coat on or off?

Well, whenever I impersonate
a doctor, I leave it off.

White coat makes it look
like you're trying too hard.

Hugh has everything
I look for.

He's handsome, like an
untattooed David Beckham.

He has an old
earring hole,

which means he was
probably in a band,

which means he was creative,
but then he made the choice

to go into law, which means
he's also responsible.

But it's environmental law,
so he's not smarter than me.

Oh, you adorable OCD snowflake.

I just love
your rigid assumptions

about who you think
is best for you.

One more thing.Hmm?

Hugh.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.

Wow.

[laughing]:
I didn't see you.

That's so weird.

Sorry. I'm sorry about that.

No, totally my fault;
I was walking out of my office

right where your friend
was pushing you.

Right, so it makes sense
you would...

Yeah. Are you okay?

Huh? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm good, I'm good.

Yeah, work's been
a little rough,

but sometimes I like it rough.

Unhear that, please.

Wow, I am really,
really bad at this.

It's just that I haven't
been dating much,

but my dad has, which is weird
'cause he's my dad.

He's been dating quite a bit.
Yeah, he's a hedgehog,

and there's this
barbecue challenge.

Clara has a pretty sweater.
What was the question?

Are you okay?

[cell phone rings]

Oh, I'm just gonna get
this real quick.

I don't know why I said that in
a southern accent, but, yeah.

[chuckles]
Hello.

AMY:
Walk away.

Just walk away.

Yeah, I need to take this.
It's my friend,

and she's telling me
to walk away, so I'm gonna

just...

Okay.
[groans]

Oh, man, I messed up so bad.

I'm sorry, are you waiting for
me to make you feel better?

'Cause that was horrible.

You have a full-blown case
of the dating jitters.

It's lunch. I am gonna
go to the gym

and work off this embarrassment.

Oh, Allison.

Exercise is a waste of time,
everybody knows that.

You need to shake off the rust
with a practice guy,

and then you can take
another stab at Hugh.

Allow Dr. Amy
to write you

the prescription
for a one-night stand.

Should be injected once
in the next 24 hours.

Should be taken on a full
stomach of alcohol.

Should not be used
while driving.

Should not be taken orally.

Side effects may include a baby.

This says,
"Vicodin for Amy Cass."

You know what, you get nervous
because you care too much.

So what you have to do
is hook up with a guy

you don't care about, who you
have nothing in common with.

I have no interest
in a one-night stand.

I'm sorry, is your dad in here?

Fine. If you're
not interested

in a sweaty, muscly,
athletic guy,

then let's just go to the gym.

♪

Marv.
Walt.

Hey, any idea why all
the magazines in my office

are addressed
to a Dr. Mal P. Ractice?

Pretty sure it's pronounced
"practice."

I'm pretty sure
it's pronounced "mail fraud."

[chuckling]: Oh.
We'll settle out of court.

I'll pay you
in meats

at my barbecue this Sunday.
You coming?

Oh, yes, I wouldn't
miss it for the world

Hey, you want me
to bring anything?

Maybe a machete to hack
through the steak?

Ooh, how about a time machine

so you can get rejected
from Harvard again?

Which is where I went.

What, and go to school
with Mark Zuckerberg

and Natalie Portman?
I think not.

Ooh, I don't think you
would be in the same class.

I got a time machine,
I can go whenever I want.

Look, if you're gonna
create a hypothetical,

you've got to be
prepared to follow it

all the way
down the rabbit hole.

Oh, look, I have a patient.

He's got me a little stumped.

I was wondering,
can I refer him to you?

Sure, I'll take a look.Thank you.

I got to head on out.
They got me speaking

at this dermatological
conference in Diamond Bar, so...

[mock groan]

Well, that's terrific.Thank you.

I mean, that they found
someone after I passed.

Diamond Bar.

Have a good speech, Dr. Ractice.

♪

Love that guy.

Morning. Got you a coffee
and a bagel with cream cheese.

Don't forget to chew
this time, though.

Thank you, that
is so sweet.

I didn't even know
you saw me choking.

You just kept texting.

No, I-I... I put it away.

I was about to get in there,
but then it came out, so...

Anyway, I have been meaning
to ask you something.

What do you say we grab
a drink after work?

That'd be great.

That would be great.

To go ahead and celebrate
my job transition

with a drink.
That's a pretty sweater, Clara.

Thank you.Yesterday, too,
you had one on. Pretty.

Folks, I'd like
to take the floor.

It seems I've been released
from the cage

that was my corner office
and I'm no longer your boss.

I've been
reverse-promoted to broker.

So the rumors of you
spiking the punch with Molly

at the manager's retreat
are true.

I can neither confirm nor deny

that I was behind
the most baller move

ever made at this company.
We can all agree on that.

I don't know...So, uh,

the good news
is that the real top dog

now is back for you guys.

I would like to retake
the floor at this point

and, first of all,
con... gratulate you

on the reverse promotion?You got that right, kid.

And then let you know
that I think we all know

that the title of top dog

is not something you claim.
It's something you earn.

Wow. Looks like Cynthia's
nipping at my heels there.

But until she
closes the house on Cedar...

real... real top dog out.

If someone could could choose
a nickname other than top dog,

that'd be great.
You-you look so much alike.

[scoffs]

I... don't see it.I don't see it.

I can't believe you brought
a milkshake to the gym.

It's not a milkshake.
It's frosting.

Oh.

Oh...
We got the same jump rope.

It's like the boxing gym version
of Lady and the Tramp.

It's like we're about to engage
in an epic tug-o-war.

I think I'd lose that one.Yes, you would.

I would rip your arms
right out of their sockets.

Sorry. I thought
that if I said that

with a smile,
it would be more charming.

Well, keep trying.
To be charming.

That arm thing was very graphic.

You were so confident
back there.

Well, why would I be nervous?

That guy is so not my type.

Seems like a bit of a meathead.

Exactly. And what's
another word for meathead?

Beef... skull?

Practice guy.

Well, he's not bad-looking.

Yeah. Grade-A
beefskull.

Go on over there,
chat him up. Practice.

I'm Allison,
by the way.

Gavin.
Nice to meet you.

I don't see you
around here a lot.

Because I'm not
around here a lot. Are you?

Yeah, I'm actually
in between jobs right now,

so I got some
extra time on my hands.

I got one more set
on this circuit.

Does your circuit ever
include drinks at Fordy's?

Say, tonight?Sure. I am supposed
to meet a friend, though.

Well, why don't you
bring him along, huh?

If he's anything
like you, we'll all

have to take our vitamins
and say our prayers.

Eugene, I'm happy to say
that that mole,

like all the others,
is completely normal.

Are you sure? Because
it used to look like Kauai,

but now I think it's starting
to look like Oahu.

No, everything you're concerned
about is pretty straightforward.

Not even sure why Walt referred
you to me, actually. Anyways,

go on, get out of here.Okay.

Mandy, who's my 3:00?

That'd be me again.

I booked back-to-back
appointments

for my follow-up
questions.

Oh, I see why Walt referred you.

Now, back on this mole--
I think it's changed

since I've last seen you.
and I know that's

a warning sign,
so can we take another look?

Just a second.

Mandy, any word
from my pregnant daughter?

Has she gone into labor yet?

Allison's not pregnant.

Thank you, Mandy.

Oh, that's the code word.

Marv, your pregnant daughter

Allison has gone into labor.

I'll reschedule with whatever
problem patient you have

at that time.

Again, thank you, Mandy.

Wow.

That is a
real talent.

You're a peanut catcher.
Wow, you just

keep getting better and better.

Hey, look who
decided to show up.

Ladies, this is
my friend Phillip.

Sorry for being late.
Pinterest rabbit hole.

Hey, Phil.It's Phillip.

You know, I got to tell you,
Phil, you're not exactly

what I was expecting
for the friend of a handsome,

well-built guy like Gavin.

Well, you're certainly,
uh, missing the mark

for what I was expecting
by about

12 years and one vest.

It is loud in here.

Well, we don't
have to stay here.

Hey how about your place, Gavin?

Oh, no, we can't, 'cause

uh, I-I don't
want to wake up my mom.

He lives with his mom.

Hey, you two.Hey.

Hey.This is my brother Brad.

Ah, you must be Hugh.

Gavin....gely excited

about going out
with my sister here.

I-I'm here to see
Clara, actually.

Really, you are?Yeah.

I'm gonna go do
that. I will see you

at the barbecue Sunday.Huh?

Someday. See you at
the barbecue someday.

Never heard that
expression?

It means, like, uh, like,
"I'll see you later."

It's, uh...
uh, regional...

thing. Okay, I...Yeah, see you later.

Let's all go back
to my house.

Yeah.Okay.

Which is why I'm studying

to be a veterinary
assistant at night.

Oh, that's amaz...
A noble calling.

Yeah, man's best friend's
best friend's assistant.

Yeah, that's right.Oh... Yeah.

So I was gonna
ask you at the...

I-I'll just
ask you right now--

don't know what
you have planned this weekend,

but would you like
to go to a barbecue?

Here comes the wrecking crew.
What? Uh. Huh?

Clara, what you are drinking?
'Cause I'm buying for you.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.
Can you and I have a quick talk?

Huh?Thanks, dude.

I don't know if you noticed,

but, uh, I'm actually on a date.

Listen, dude, I'm recently
divorced, demoted,

looking to shore myself up
emotionally, okay?

I need to silver-line this day
in a big way.

Clara's the sale
I gots to close.

All right, A] I don't like the
way you're talking about her.

She's a woman, not a sale.
And B] I'm pretty deep

into escrow on this, buddy.
And now I don't like

the way I'm talking about her.

What can I get you guys
started out with?

BOTH: Double rye Manhattan
with three cherries.

That's my drink, bro.

Well, you have
excellent taste, brah.

Yeah, I know I do,
'cause I have it.

Thanks. Do you want
the grand tour?

Yeah, sure.

Right on time.

Designated bang-ees separate
themselves to the other room

while the support staff
is banished here,

to Couch Island.

Hey, come on in the kitchen
with me for just a moment.

Oh, you're strong!

What the hell do you think
you're doing out there?

Something I should've done
a long time ago.

I am tired of being the guy
who talks to the best friend

of the hot girl that
my good-looking buddy

is making the sweet-sweet to.

Oh, please, you knew
what you were getting into

when you hitched your sidecar
to Gavin's hog.

You're a wingman, dude.

Start acting like one.

Well, not tonight.

I'm going home.

And Gavin is driving me,

because I have night blindness.

Oh, you little bat-eyed freak.

You've left me no choice.

What are you doing?
That's assault.

Now, you're gonna go into
the little room in the garage,

you're gonna get in the shower,

and you're gonna shampoo
that beard

that reeks
of your recessive genes.

And you're gonna get out,

and you're gonna put on
whatever accessories

and/or enhancements
are laid out for you

and meet me at my bed,

on your knees,

'cause we're gonna
get Roman tonight.

Hey, Phil and I are gonna

check out my bone collection.

Then bone.

Sorry, I was gonna spin it,
then bailed.

You okay, buddy?

[phone chirps]

It's a penis.

There's a penis
on your phone.

I know that penis.

I'm intrigued.
It's Eugene.

Walt is pranking me,

and he set me up
with this hypochondriac patient

who's texting me his every mole
from everywhere.

It's got to stop.

It's time to retaliate.

[gasps] Oh, a prank war?

Uh-huh.
Oh.

What if we bake him
some cookies,

but instead of sugar,
[chuckles]

we use salt.

Okay.

Or he's giving a speech

at a dermatology conference.

How embarrassing would it be

if he had a huge rash
on his face?

You said you had a poison oak
problem in the yard.

So you're gonna poison him?

Linda.

This is a dermatological
prank war.

Victory is all that matters.

So, what did you do
for a living

before you stopped doing it?

Um, I'm an architect.

I, uh, I have my own firm.

Really?

You said you were between jobs.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm turning
a lot of stuff down lately

to help my mom.

She had hip surgery,

so I moved her into my house.

Wow.

That's [chuckles]
that's really sweet.

Yeah, that's actually, um,

what this tattoo means.

"Protector of elders."

Really?

No. [chuckles] I lost a bet.

Oh, well, what would you
have gotten if you'd won?

Punched in the balls.

It was a fraternity thing.

Oh.

Are you okay? You just...

You look a little flushed.

Yeah, yeah.

I just, uh,
I got a little nervous.

Oh, why would you be nervous?

Because you're actually
a great guy.

You seem like
you're just realizing that.

Okay, this is gonna start out
sounding slightly--

totally-- harsh,

but it's going to end

in a huge compliment, okay?

All right.So just hang in there.

All right, so, um,

there was this one, like,

really, really, really,
really, really hot guy

that I wanted to ask out,
but, um,

I was too nervous,
so I needed a practice guy.

Uh-huh.
You know,
someone I wouldn't care about.

And based
on first impressions,

you seemed like
the perfect practice guy.

What I discovered
was that underneath

that horrendous tattoo...

Okay, I'm not really interested

in what you discovered.

Um, I don't want
to be someone's practice guy.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's not

how that was... Okay.

So I guess we should just say,

"I'll see you
at a barbecue someday."

That's not a thing!

I like you!

[groans]

Tell me everything about Amy.
I'm in love.

Blink once if you're saying this
under duress.

Hey!

There's my chubby
little lumberjack.

Come on, pal, you need to get
off my property right now.

My property.

When can I see you again?

Well, I play for
the New York Liberty,

and training camp starts
tomorrow.Take my number.

I don't need that.Just think about it.

Just did.

What did you do to that boy?

I angel-kissed him.

I'm sorry. What?I angel-kissed him.

It's like a French kiss,

but the tongue goes all the
way to the base of the brain.

And if you hit it just
right, it's amazing.

But if you miss it, the best you
can hope for is a quick death.

Medically impossible.
Mm.

But that means you can
bring Hugh to the barbecue,

'cause you slept with Gavin
and got out all your jitters.

Yeah, about that.What did you not
do last night?

I blew it with Gavin,
who's actually really great.

but, hey, it's okay.
Don't worry.

I still think
you're ready for Hugh.

But I want to see Gavin again.

Turns out
he's not the practice guy.

He's the guy
I've been practicing for.

If only we knew someone

who knew someone
who had his number.

Hey, you want some breakfast?
I'm thinking frosting.

I mean, 'cause it
just seems like

if I did have
a guardian angel...

That's me.

And you were
said guardian angel...

Oh, it's a trap.The least you could do

is make one little phone call,

even if it meant
you had to see Phillip again.

Oh, Allison.

Honey, I have to confess
something to you.

I'm just a crazy lady.

I'm not your guardian...
I can't do it.

Can't do it. No. I...
I'll call Phil. Shoot!

Where's his number?

[elevator bell dings]Marv.

Walt.Hey, how's your new patient?

Hope you don't mind. Told
him you do house calls.

[laughing]:
Oh, you got me good.
[laughs]

Hey, listen, uh, good luck
with the speech tonight.

Oh.MARV:
Really.

Okay.
Other side.

Other? Here?
Yeah, yeah,
a little higher.

Uh, did I get it?

Oh, there's no doubt
that you got it.

That's an odd way to phrase it,
but thank you.

[elevator bell dings]Yup. This is you.

Yup. I'll see you Sunday.

All righty.

So here we are,
back where it began

for us so many hours ago.Yeah, there's no us.

Uh, listen, all I want
is Gavin's information.

And if your foot
touches me one more time,

I'm gonna snap it
off at the ankle.

I'm sorry, I wish I could help,

but Allison really
insulted Gavin.

He never wants
to see her ever again.

I hear you.

Allow me to counter...

with my scent.

[sniffing]

Mi amor.

So anyways, I'm thinking,
Sunday night,

you and me kicking it
on my boat?

Oh. I thought the
boat got repossessed.

That's not till
Monday, man.
Can I talk to
you for a second?

Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you.

Maybe you didn't
hear me last night

with the three cherries
in my mouth, but back off.

Easy, bro. I wrestled
in high school.

I wrestled myself. What
weight class were you?

106. Late bloomer.
Heard that.
I bloomed super late.

Nice stance,
by the way.
Thanks.

Stance is where the
power comes from.

[grunts]Sweet escape just now.

They called me Teeny Houdini.

Okay, you guys, just stop.

This is ridiculous

and weird. I don't want
to date either of you.

What?
Huh?
So, I'm just

gonna scoot on down to H.R.,
get this all on record,

and kindly ask you both
to keep your distance.

I got to tell you,
I'm 100% shocked

that this peacocking
didn't work.

Don't sweat it.
Quality buck like yourself--

you'll have a reverse
breakup in no time.

Thanks, bro.
Right back at you, dude.

You deserve a true partner
in life.

One who walks besides you,
not in front or behind.

Hey, man, I know
you've had a rough week.

Would a family barbecue
cheer you up?
You know what?

I think it really might.
Can you pick me up, though?

Because I lose the Lexus
on Friday.

You know it.
My man.

[both grunting]

There's that escape.
There it is.

I really like you, man.

You sure you don't want
my help with Gavin?

I mean, I've angel-ed
you this far.

I'd kind of like
to stick the landing.

Nope, I got it.Because you need

a big gesture, you know?

And I could whip up
a children's choir

or a flash mob or-or maybe
some sort of eclipse?

Lunar? Solar? Mitsubishi?

Here he is.

What are you doing here?

Don't blame Phillip.

It was the only way
I could get you here

to apologize and buy you
a cup of coffee.

Actually, I bought you
one of everything.

Because I don't know
what kind of coffee you like,

and I didn't want
to assume anything

about you like I did yesterday.

This is a sweet
and wasteful gesture.

It was wrong of me
to assume I knew you

based on the short amount
of time we spent together.

And I'm just really hoping
that you won't judge me

based on that same short amount
of time.

Hi. I'm Gavin.

I'm an architect,
and my mom lives with me.

Hi, I'm Allison.
I'm a dermatologist,

and I can remove
that tattoo for you.

[laughs]

♪ I want to know what love is

Amy, too big a gesture.♪ I want you to show me.

Too on the nose.

Shut it down. Are you sure?

Because a power ballad
feels right.

No.No? Okay. All right,
kids, that's a wrap.

Now, you don't have to go home,
but you can't stay here. Out.

Let's go.

You want to go
to a barbecue Sunday?

Oh, okay. See you later.

No. No, no, no. No,
do you actually want

to go to a barbecue
with me this Sunday?

Oh. Oh-oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that'd be great.

Thanks for coming.
Glad you could make it.

All right.
Who else is here? Walt!

Hey.

How'd the speech go?
Was it a break-out performance?

Well, I didn't
make it to the speech.

I was rushed
to the hospital.

What?My eyes were totally
swollen shut.

I looked like Rango.

Gotcha?

Big time. [chuckles]

Derma prank war respect, sir.

Aha. See? Just good fun.

[to "Hallelujah Chorus"]:
♪ Silver Hedgehog

♪ Silver Hedgehog

♪ Silver Hedgehog,
Silver Hedgehog ♪

♪ Silver Hedgehog.

Nickname's gaining
traction, Marv.