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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,825 --> 00:00:13,824 -=Sync&Corrected by Misiek666=- 2 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,848 -=Podnapisi.net=- 3 00:01:10,025 --> 00:01:13,827 - This is the story of my best friend. 4 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:16,396 That's him. 5 00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:20,733 Not now. 6 00:01:22,504 --> 00:01:23,870 That's him now. 7 00:01:32,047 --> 00:01:34,147 He has issues. 8 00:01:34,149 --> 00:01:35,348 - Fuck off! 9 00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:38,351 Intimacy issues. 10 00:01:38,353 --> 00:01:39,285 - Nobody's home! 11 00:01:39,287 --> 00:01:41,588 And anger issues. 12 00:01:44,559 --> 00:01:46,759 And other stuff. 13 00:01:50,799 --> 00:01:52,332 When you have a disability, 14 00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:54,067 you're on display at all hours. 15 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,242 Travis is a solo act. 16 00:02:03,078 --> 00:02:04,377 He lives alone 17 00:02:05,614 --> 00:02:07,046 and he works alone. 18 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:15,855 And nobody dreams of being alone forever. 19 00:02:23,965 --> 00:02:25,398 - You're bent, you horn dog! 20 00:02:29,538 --> 00:02:30,837 - Nice spasmobile! 21 00:02:31,573 --> 00:02:33,239 Hey, now we know why he walks like that. 22 00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:34,140 - Yeah. 23 00:02:34,142 --> 00:02:35,742 - He's got a permanent boner. 24 00:02:35,744 --> 00:02:38,144 - I think he shat himself! 25 00:02:46,154 --> 00:02:47,220 - Oh shit! 26 00:02:47,222 --> 00:02:47,787 Shit! 27 00:02:47,789 --> 00:02:49,756 - Oh shit, run! 28 00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:50,657 Run! 29 00:02:50,659 --> 00:02:52,859 - Who's shitting themself now? 30 00:02:52,861 --> 00:02:53,560 - No! 31 00:02:53,562 --> 00:02:54,562 Oh, he's coming! 32 00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:59,365 - You crazy fuck! 33 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,073 - Oh, shit. 34 00:03:07,075 --> 00:03:08,374 - Up yours, loser! 35 00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,510 - Oh, dear. 36 00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:13,213 - Travis. 37 00:03:14,082 --> 00:03:16,149 - Little shit! 38 00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:18,952 - Listen, 39 00:03:18,954 --> 00:03:20,887 what you have to understand 40 00:03:20,889 --> 00:03:24,958 is that the kids in this college are assholes. 41 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,193 But that doesn't mean you can just go 42 00:03:27,195 --> 00:03:30,230 and run the little shitbags over. 43 00:03:30,966 --> 00:03:32,932 - Am I fired? 44 00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:37,837 - Travis, you have problem with your anger. 45 00:03:37,839 --> 00:03:39,672 Now you need to go and talk to somebody. 46 00:03:39,674 --> 00:03:41,341 You have to promise me. 47 00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:42,375 - I don't have a problem. 48 00:03:42,377 --> 00:03:44,510 It's not my fault the world's fucked. 49 00:03:46,047 --> 00:03:47,313 - Promise me. 50 00:04:48,743 --> 00:04:49,743 - Freeze, asshole! 51 00:04:51,913 --> 00:04:53,379 - That's me... 52 00:04:53,381 --> 00:04:54,381 meeting Travis. 53 00:04:56,484 --> 00:04:57,183 - Ah! 54 00:04:57,185 --> 00:04:58,251 Motherfucker! 55 00:04:58,253 --> 00:05:00,153 - Put your hands on your head! 56 00:05:00,155 --> 00:05:02,555 Get on the couch and don't move! 57 00:05:02,557 --> 00:05:03,890 - What couch? 58 00:05:03,892 --> 00:05:04,590 - That couch! 59 00:05:04,592 --> 00:05:07,660 - I can't see any couch, I can't see anything. 60 00:05:07,662 --> 00:05:08,561 I'm blind! 61 00:05:08,563 --> 00:05:10,163 - Oh, shit. 62 00:05:10,165 --> 00:05:11,130 Okay. 63 00:05:11,132 --> 00:05:12,765 Here, just... 64 00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:13,433 Sit there. 65 00:05:13,435 --> 00:05:14,300 I'm calling an ambulance. 66 00:05:14,302 --> 00:05:16,269 Can I get you anything? 67 00:05:16,271 --> 00:05:16,836 - Oh. 68 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:17,704 A beer would be nice. 69 00:05:17,706 --> 00:05:19,739 - I'm calling you an ambulance. 70 00:05:19,741 --> 00:05:20,773 - What for? 71 00:05:20,775 --> 00:05:22,241 - You said you can't see. 72 00:05:22,243 --> 00:05:24,043 - I was blind already. 73 00:05:24,045 --> 00:05:25,445 - What kind of burglar are you? 74 00:05:25,447 --> 00:05:27,680 - I'm not a burglar, I thought you were a burglar. 75 00:05:27,682 --> 00:05:30,083 - I'm not a burglar, I live here. 76 00:05:30,085 --> 00:05:33,219 - Oh, well, that's a relief then. 77 00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:34,020 No one's a burglar. 78 00:05:34,022 --> 00:05:38,224 - I get it now, you're a little blind and... 79 00:05:39,027 --> 00:05:42,095 you just stumbled into the wrong apartment. 80 00:05:42,097 --> 00:05:43,329 No harm done. 81 00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:44,263 - Easy for you to say. 82 00:05:44,265 --> 00:05:45,865 You didn't get hit over the head with a frying pan. 83 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,867 - It was a freaking baseball bat. 84 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:50,770 - Oh, no wonder my freaking head hurts. 85 00:05:50,772 --> 00:05:52,271 I need some medication. 86 00:05:52,273 --> 00:05:54,507 Could you, in my bag there? 87 00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:58,077 - Is this it? 88 00:05:58,079 --> 00:06:00,046 - Yeah, that looks like it. 89 00:06:03,985 --> 00:06:06,619 - Can I get you a glass of water? 90 00:06:06,621 --> 00:06:08,287 - Beer would be better. 91 00:06:18,099 --> 00:06:18,965 - Uh... 92 00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:21,033 I was thinking like asprin. 93 00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:22,668 - No, you can't smoke asprin. 94 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:24,070 Are you freaking crazy? 95 00:06:25,039 --> 00:06:25,571 Well, 96 00:06:25,573 --> 00:06:26,572 I don't think you can, can you? 97 00:06:26,574 --> 00:06:29,275 - You mind just telling me what's going on? 98 00:06:29,677 --> 00:06:32,311 - You should've received one of these, didn't you? 99 00:06:35,683 --> 00:06:36,516 - It's Braille. 100 00:06:36,518 --> 00:06:37,183 What's it say? 101 00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:39,485 - This is a subsidised apartment. 102 00:06:39,487 --> 00:06:40,420 - So? 103 00:06:40,422 --> 00:06:42,121 - It has two bedrooms. 104 00:06:42,123 --> 00:06:42,822 - So? 105 00:06:42,824 --> 00:06:45,124 - Well, you can only sleep in one. 106 00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:45,758 - No, no. 107 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,460 Nuh-uh, not happening. 108 00:06:47,462 --> 00:06:48,227 - It's official. 109 00:06:48,229 --> 00:06:50,630 Either I move in or you pay rent on the extra room. 110 00:06:50,632 --> 00:06:53,032 Like 130, 350. - Oh, God. 111 00:06:53,034 --> 00:06:54,066 I can't afford that. 112 00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,001 - Well it's settled then. 113 00:06:55,003 --> 00:06:56,636 Oh man, we're gonna have a great time. 114 00:06:56,638 --> 00:06:57,470 - No, we're not! 115 00:06:57,472 --> 00:06:58,938 - Yeah, sure we will, trust me. 116 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,039 I make the perfect roommate 117 00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:01,207 because I got like 10 percent vision, 118 00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:04,477 so you can like walk around with your hairy boys hanging out 119 00:07:04,479 --> 00:07:05,244 and I'll never know. 120 00:07:05,246 --> 00:07:10,183 - No, I won't because you are not staying. 121 00:07:10,185 --> 00:07:11,217 Out! 122 00:07:12,921 --> 00:07:15,688 - Are you pointing at a door right now? 123 00:07:17,892 --> 00:07:18,958 - No. 124 00:07:19,494 --> 00:07:21,093 - I'm blind. 125 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:23,896 And homeless 126 00:07:23,898 --> 00:07:25,998 with a possible concussion. 127 00:07:26,801 --> 00:07:28,000 What's your disability? 128 00:07:28,002 --> 00:07:29,969 Are you a heartless dick? 129 00:07:36,644 --> 00:07:38,077 - Oh, oh, okay! 130 00:07:38,079 --> 00:07:40,480 Okay, you can stay! 131 00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:41,981 Just till we get this sorted, okay? 132 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,417 And we need to set some boundaries. 133 00:07:44,419 --> 00:07:46,185 - Roomie! 134 00:07:46,187 --> 00:07:47,687 - Boundaries! 135 00:07:48,022 --> 00:07:50,389 When I am home, you stay in your room. 136 00:07:50,391 --> 00:07:52,658 - I've gotta unpack my stuff. 137 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:55,061 - Fine, you do that. 138 00:07:55,063 --> 00:07:56,896 I'm going to the pub. 139 00:07:56,898 --> 00:07:57,930 - Oh, great idea! 140 00:07:57,932 --> 00:07:59,398 I'll come with you. 141 00:08:03,638 --> 00:08:05,505 Are we walking or driving? 142 00:08:08,476 --> 00:08:10,877 Oh shit, I guess we're walking. 143 00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,512 Come on, take a hit. 144 00:08:12,514 --> 00:08:15,515 Let's get to know each other, I'm Gordo. 145 00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,250 I'm 27. 146 00:08:17,252 --> 00:08:18,117 I'm an Aries. 147 00:08:18,119 --> 00:08:19,085 I'm Samoan. 148 00:08:19,087 --> 00:08:21,587 I'm single but looking. 149 00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:24,790 I enjoy bubble baths and... 150 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:27,126 Oh, British music of the '80s. 151 00:08:27,128 --> 00:08:28,628 I play the ukulele. 152 00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:29,462 - Give me that. 153 00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,631 - Ha. 154 00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:33,499 Yes. 155 00:08:33,501 --> 00:08:34,300 And I'm like, 156 00:08:34,302 --> 00:08:36,602 come on, toaster, I want four toasts! 157 00:08:36,604 --> 00:08:39,539 Not three on one side and five on the other. 158 00:08:39,541 --> 00:08:41,240 Just four all over! 159 00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:44,577 You know what, this isn't what I signed up for. 160 00:08:44,579 --> 00:08:47,713 You made up the numbers, toaster, not me. 161 00:08:47,715 --> 00:08:50,249 I think my kitchen appliances hate me. 162 00:08:50,251 --> 00:08:53,519 - Lucky you're a barmaid not a cook then, eh. 163 00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:56,222 - Sorry. 164 00:08:56,224 --> 00:08:56,956 Sorry. 165 00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:57,757 - Forget the toast, 166 00:08:57,759 --> 00:09:00,092 why won't you get me another beer, please? 167 00:09:00,595 --> 00:09:02,094 - Sorry, what was your name? 168 00:09:02,096 --> 00:09:03,329 - Derick. 169 00:09:03,331 --> 00:09:04,297 - I'm sorry. 170 00:09:04,299 --> 00:09:06,732 - My name's Derick, Derick! 171 00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:07,500 - No, I got that. 172 00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:09,569 I just, I feel sorry for you. 173 00:09:09,571 --> 00:09:11,037 - Ah. 174 00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:12,138 - Well, you'll feel sorry 175 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,473 if you don't go get me another beer 176 00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:17,143 with a lot of head. 177 00:09:17,145 --> 00:09:18,177 Oi. 178 00:09:20,615 --> 00:09:22,148 - What an asshole. 179 00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:22,848 - Ah! 180 00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,650 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 181 00:09:24,652 --> 00:09:25,818 Clever, oh my God! 182 00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:27,520 Play on words, so clever. 183 00:09:27,522 --> 00:09:28,888 Asking for a foamy beverage 184 00:09:28,890 --> 00:09:32,592 while implying an invitation to suck your dick. 185 00:09:32,594 --> 00:09:34,093 You're a wit. 186 00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,628 About your dick. 187 00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:37,096 You're a dick wit. 188 00:09:37,899 --> 00:09:39,932 - You wanna step outside and call me that? 189 00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:41,300 - Yeah, sure. 190 00:09:41,302 --> 00:09:43,169 It might take me a minute. 191 00:09:43,571 --> 00:09:46,739 - Forget it, lucky you're a freaking retard, mate. 192 00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:47,740 - This is your idea of lucky? 193 00:09:47,742 --> 00:09:51,310 Shit, I'd hate to see someone you think is half bad run. 194 00:09:52,246 --> 00:09:53,212 And retard? 195 00:09:53,214 --> 00:09:55,047 Is that the best you can do? 196 00:09:55,049 --> 00:09:56,449 - I don't know, what else you got? 197 00:09:56,451 --> 00:09:58,784 - I don't know, how about spasmonaut? 198 00:09:58,786 --> 00:10:00,086 Window-licker. 199 00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:03,789 I get it, my appearance can be a bit off-putting. 200 00:10:03,791 --> 00:10:06,092 You know what, when I meet a girl for the first time 201 00:10:06,094 --> 00:10:07,493 I always get that same look. 202 00:10:07,495 --> 00:10:10,496 And they always ask the same question. 203 00:10:11,032 --> 00:10:13,532 How did you get into my room? 204 00:10:18,606 --> 00:10:19,572 - Get a light on him. 205 00:10:19,574 --> 00:10:22,541 - But for the record, I am not retarded. 206 00:10:22,543 --> 00:10:24,744 I'm a spastic, there's a difference. 207 00:10:24,746 --> 00:10:25,778 The body, 208 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:26,746 body's fucked. 209 00:10:26,748 --> 00:10:29,215 The brain, the brain is fine. 210 00:10:29,217 --> 00:10:30,750 Kind of the opposite of you. 211 00:10:40,495 --> 00:10:41,927 What'd you think was gonna happen? 212 00:10:41,929 --> 00:10:45,197 You just come in here and see a beautiful girl on stage 213 00:10:45,199 --> 00:10:46,499 and go, oh hey, here's the plan, 214 00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:49,602 I'm gonna get shit-faced, sit in the dark 215 00:10:49,604 --> 00:10:51,704 and yell at her for a blowjob. 216 00:10:51,706 --> 00:10:53,706 'Cause how could that not work? 217 00:10:56,477 --> 00:10:57,276 I'm the retard? 218 00:10:57,278 --> 00:11:00,312 There's a seat for you on the sunshine bus, my friend. 219 00:11:00,314 --> 00:11:01,147 - Oh! 220 00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:03,449 - You wanna step outside, be my guest. 221 00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:05,384 If I'm not there in five minutes, 222 00:11:05,386 --> 00:11:07,219 just start without me. 223 00:11:21,803 --> 00:11:22,702 - Um. 224 00:11:22,704 --> 00:11:25,438 Yeah, where was I? 225 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,505 I was... 226 00:11:27,141 --> 00:11:28,240 Toast. 227 00:11:28,242 --> 00:11:30,376 Four people at seven? 228 00:11:30,378 --> 00:11:31,444 Yeah. 229 00:11:32,447 --> 00:11:34,146 Hey, thank you. 230 00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:36,549 Yeah, no worries, we can do that. 231 00:11:36,551 --> 00:11:38,084 - Ah, gentlemen. 232 00:11:38,086 --> 00:11:39,085 Nice work. 233 00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:39,852 - Don't mention it. 234 00:11:39,854 --> 00:11:41,020 - You got a real knack for the put downs. 235 00:11:41,022 --> 00:11:41,854 - That's mentioning it. 236 00:11:41,856 --> 00:11:42,755 - Hey, not so fast, hombre. 237 00:11:42,757 --> 00:11:45,091 What would you say to a month of free beer? 238 00:11:45,093 --> 00:11:46,425 - Hell yes! 239 00:11:47,128 --> 00:11:47,893 - What's the catch? 240 00:11:47,895 --> 00:11:49,895 - Look, that's not the first time that's happened to Sunny. 241 00:11:49,897 --> 00:11:51,564 How about you come in and give her some tips 242 00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:52,898 on how to repel people like that? 243 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:56,302 - No thanks, my repulsiveness is a natural gift. 244 00:11:56,304 --> 00:11:57,002 Can't be taught. 245 00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:58,170 - Bullshit, it's free beer! 246 00:11:58,172 --> 00:11:58,971 He'll do it. 247 00:11:58,973 --> 00:12:00,272 Introduce us. 248 00:12:00,274 --> 00:12:01,373 Has she got big titties? 249 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:02,274 - She's my girlfriend. 250 00:12:02,276 --> 00:12:03,909 - Yeah, has she got big titties? 251 00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:05,177 - Who's this guy? 252 00:12:05,546 --> 00:12:07,713 - Some fucking freeloader I can't shake. 253 00:12:07,715 --> 00:12:08,581 - He's joking. 254 00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:10,516 I can tell by his facial expression. 255 00:12:10,518 --> 00:12:11,784 I'm his wise mentor. 256 00:12:11,786 --> 00:12:13,319 His magical negro. 257 00:12:13,321 --> 00:12:14,286 - You're not black. 258 00:12:14,288 --> 00:12:15,721 - Fuck off, are you sure? 259 00:12:15,723 --> 00:12:17,790 - Yeah. - I look black to me. 260 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:18,924 - Everything looks black to you. 261 00:12:18,926 --> 00:12:22,328 Look, you're the professional, why don't you do it? 262 00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:23,295 - Yeah, I'd just be better 263 00:12:23,297 --> 00:12:25,498 if Sunny didn't know I was doing this. 264 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,532 - Mmm, why? 265 00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:27,500 - Trust issues? 266 00:12:27,502 --> 00:12:28,067 - Some. 267 00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:29,335 - And you're gonna fix that by sneaking around 268 00:12:29,337 --> 00:12:30,402 and doing shit behind her back? 269 00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:32,438 - Sometimes she doesn't know what's best for her. 270 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,407 - So I'm just supposed to casually bump into her 271 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:36,509 and offer some advice? 272 00:12:36,511 --> 00:12:37,476 - No, you take a job. 273 00:12:37,478 --> 00:12:40,045 I'll make sure you're on the same shift as her. 274 00:12:40,047 --> 00:12:42,581 - Who's gonna hire an inexperienced spastic 275 00:12:42,583 --> 00:12:45,384 with anger issues to pick up glasses? 276 00:12:45,386 --> 00:12:46,485 - Me, I own the joint. 277 00:12:46,487 --> 00:12:47,987 Hey, Felicity, do me a solid. 278 00:12:47,989 --> 00:12:50,856 - Oh, see, to me that sounds like you mean a shit, 279 00:12:50,858 --> 00:12:51,857 doesn't it? 280 00:12:51,859 --> 00:12:52,424 - Kinda. 281 00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:54,426 - Yeah, it sounds like you just asked her to do your shit. 282 00:12:54,428 --> 00:12:55,561 - Oh, here she comes. 283 00:12:55,563 --> 00:12:56,695 - I hope she doesn't. 284 00:12:57,665 --> 00:13:00,232 - Felicity, this is... 285 00:13:00,234 --> 00:13:01,066 - Travis. 286 00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:01,767 - And Gordo. 287 00:13:01,769 --> 00:13:03,202 - Yeah, put him on the she same shift as Sunny. 288 00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:06,105 He's gonna help her get ready for the radio scouts. 289 00:13:06,107 --> 00:13:07,439 - When can you start? 290 00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:08,040 - Never. 291 00:13:08,042 --> 00:13:09,408 I'm only here because this fat freak 292 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:10,342 is cluttering my apartment. 293 00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:13,445 - Only till you earn extra to pay rent on the other room. 294 00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:14,280 Which is? 295 00:13:14,282 --> 00:13:15,047 - 133.50. 296 00:13:15,049 --> 00:13:17,616 - Yeah, plus tax, that's 200 even. 297 00:13:17,618 --> 00:13:19,552 Plus drink for the magical helper. 298 00:13:19,554 --> 00:13:20,786 Bottomless. 299 00:13:20,788 --> 00:13:21,987 Deal? 300 00:13:26,794 --> 00:13:28,928 - You're with Mikey in the morning, 301 00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:30,129 keeping it real. 302 00:13:30,131 --> 00:13:31,330 Okay, let's take some calls. 303 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:36,068 Today I wanna hear about the weirdest job you've ever had. 304 00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:37,169 - Hey, guys! 305 00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:38,370 Such a big fan of the show. 306 00:13:38,372 --> 00:13:40,272 I have the best story. 307 00:13:40,274 --> 00:13:41,640 I can't believe... 308 00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:47,346 - Pants! 309 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,849 For the love of God! 310 00:13:49,851 --> 00:13:50,549 What time is it? 311 00:13:50,551 --> 00:13:53,219 - Time for free beers, bro, come on! 312 00:13:53,754 --> 00:13:54,854 - Free for you. 313 00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:55,654 - How hard can it be? 314 00:13:55,656 --> 00:13:57,489 You just pick up some glasses and talk to a pretty girl. 315 00:13:57,491 --> 00:13:59,391 - How do you know she's pretty? 316 00:13:59,393 --> 00:14:02,027 - Well, one, she's not that funny 317 00:14:02,029 --> 00:14:02,728 and two, 318 00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:04,563 her boyfriend's a celebrity dickhead. 319 00:14:04,565 --> 00:14:06,165 - Oh, this is gonna suck. 320 00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:08,267 - It's just until you get the money. 321 00:14:08,269 --> 00:14:09,668 Then you can kick me out and 322 00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:11,770 grouch your way through life and such. 323 00:14:11,772 --> 00:14:12,371 - Mmmmm. 324 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:15,841 But then what, what's gonna happen to you? 325 00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:17,243 - I'll be fine. 326 00:14:17,245 --> 00:14:18,577 I'm like a cat. 327 00:14:19,347 --> 00:14:20,613 I always land on my feet. 328 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:25,384 - Yeah, clearly. 329 00:14:33,794 --> 00:14:35,494 - Yeah, be cool. 330 00:14:38,266 --> 00:14:38,831 - Hey! 331 00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:41,133 Didn't expect to see you here. 332 00:14:42,837 --> 00:14:43,702 Hello. - Hey. 333 00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:45,671 - This is a stupid idea. 334 00:14:46,474 --> 00:14:47,806 - Hey, hey, hey. 335 00:14:47,808 --> 00:14:48,507 Come on. 336 00:14:48,509 --> 00:14:49,708 It'll be fun. 337 00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:54,146 - Thanks. 338 00:14:55,883 --> 00:14:57,416 - Cheers, mate. 339 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,320 - Excuse me. 340 00:15:02,156 --> 00:15:02,688 Hey. 341 00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:04,023 - Hey, what about this guy the other night? 342 00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:04,823 Pretty funny, huh? 343 00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:06,926 - Yeah, you were, unlike me. 344 00:15:06,928 --> 00:15:08,394 - Nah, you were fine. 345 00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:09,762 That guy was a real douche. 346 00:15:09,764 --> 00:15:11,530 - Ugh, yeah, men are sad. 347 00:15:11,532 --> 00:15:14,466 Not you, though, you're special. 348 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,304 I mean, lovely special. 349 00:15:18,306 --> 00:15:19,306 Not... 350 00:15:20,741 --> 00:15:22,308 I'm just, I'm gonna stop talking. 351 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,276 - Hey, you should be mixing cocktails, mate. 352 00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:25,678 You'd be a natural. 353 00:15:26,314 --> 00:15:26,979 - Yeah. 354 00:15:26,981 --> 00:15:28,047 - Do you need a hand with... 355 00:15:28,049 --> 00:15:29,715 - No, I got it. 356 00:15:38,225 --> 00:15:39,925 - First day is going well. 357 00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:41,760 It's hard to pick my favourite moment 358 00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:43,195 but I think I'm gonna have to go with 359 00:15:43,197 --> 00:15:46,098 covering my vegan sister in beef gravy. 360 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,702 - I don't know why I took this stupid job. 361 00:15:49,704 --> 00:15:50,402 - Sure you do. 362 00:15:50,404 --> 00:15:53,138 He took this stupid job so he could talk to you. 363 00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:54,406 - Wow, player. 364 00:15:54,408 --> 00:15:56,608 - No, not like that. 365 00:15:56,911 --> 00:16:00,145 I just wanted to see if you needed any help. 366 00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:02,748 With heckling. 367 00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:06,518 - Did Mikey put you up to this? 368 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,286 - Why would he? 369 00:16:07,288 --> 00:16:10,589 - He thinks I need to be better at staying on track. 370 00:16:10,591 --> 00:16:15,427 I tend to get swept along a little bit. 371 00:16:15,429 --> 00:16:18,197 Doesn't seem like an issue for you though. 372 00:16:18,199 --> 00:16:19,999 - Never been swept. 373 00:16:21,402 --> 00:16:22,434 - So, 374 00:16:22,436 --> 00:16:23,669 how would this work? 375 00:16:23,671 --> 00:16:27,706 You being my personal rage guru? 376 00:16:28,909 --> 00:16:29,808 - No idea, really. 377 00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:33,746 - Wow, that sounds like a really well thought out plan. 378 00:16:34,582 --> 00:16:37,049 Okay, you know what, fine. 379 00:16:37,051 --> 00:16:37,750 Let's do it. 380 00:16:37,752 --> 00:16:41,353 See, that's me just getting swept along. 381 00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:43,489 - Well, I'll leave you kids to it. 382 00:16:43,491 --> 00:16:45,024 I gotta get to work. 383 00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,726 - You work? 384 00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:48,727 - Sure do. 385 00:16:48,729 --> 00:16:50,996 I'm in the music business. 386 00:16:50,998 --> 00:16:52,431 Yeah. 387 00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:56,902 ♪ Here I am sitting here 388 00:16:56,904 --> 00:17:01,006 ♪ Waiting for some loose change ♪ 389 00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:03,475 ♪ Here to remind you 390 00:17:03,477 --> 00:17:07,012 ♪ That everyday is a good day 391 00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:07,646 - Hi. 392 00:17:07,648 --> 00:17:09,014 ♪ Let me here you smile 393 00:17:09,016 --> 00:17:09,948 Thank you. 394 00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:12,151 - Stage, obviously. 395 00:17:12,153 --> 00:17:13,685 Mic stand. 396 00:17:13,687 --> 00:17:16,255 Control nook. 397 00:17:16,257 --> 00:17:18,090 Dressing rooms. 398 00:17:21,162 --> 00:17:21,794 - Glamorous. 399 00:17:21,796 --> 00:17:24,263 - That's why I'm in it. 400 00:17:24,265 --> 00:17:26,298 - Yeah, why are you in it? 401 00:17:27,201 --> 00:17:27,900 For real. 402 00:17:27,902 --> 00:17:30,869 - If we're doing for real questions... 403 00:17:32,106 --> 00:17:33,172 - Oh. 404 00:17:33,174 --> 00:17:35,040 Cerebral Palsy. 405 00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:36,175 It's not contagious, 406 00:17:36,177 --> 00:17:40,245 just neurological childhood stuff. 407 00:17:40,548 --> 00:17:44,883 Shit happens and this is the shit that happened to me. 408 00:17:46,053 --> 00:17:46,618 - Okay. 409 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:50,389 I'm doing it because Mikey has this whole grand master plan 410 00:17:50,391 --> 00:17:54,093 of me breaking into breakfast radio, so... 411 00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:55,961 - Swept along. 412 00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:57,629 - A little bit. 413 00:17:58,966 --> 00:18:00,833 - And you two? 414 00:18:00,835 --> 00:18:02,367 - Like rabbits. 415 00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:03,769 - But it's not the dream? 416 00:18:03,771 --> 00:18:07,439 - Fucking like rabbits or working in breakfast radio? 417 00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:08,240 - Either. 418 00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:09,575 - The money's good. 419 00:18:09,577 --> 00:18:12,611 In radio but... 420 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,079 - But what? 421 00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:18,917 - Do you know what it is to want something in your bones 422 00:18:18,919 --> 00:18:22,254 even if it doesn't make sense? 423 00:18:24,859 --> 00:18:25,859 - Maybe. 424 00:18:28,863 --> 00:18:29,461 - Come on. 425 00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:31,597 I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 426 00:18:56,891 --> 00:18:57,990 Behold! 427 00:18:57,992 --> 00:18:59,091 The dream. 428 00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,326 - My favourite apprentice. 429 00:19:01,328 --> 00:19:02,961 Who's this, huh? 430 00:19:02,963 --> 00:19:03,962 Finally come to your senses 431 00:19:03,964 --> 00:19:06,398 and get rid of that little beardy finochio? 432 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,033 - No, Mario. - I'm just... 433 00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:08,967 - This is... - Yeah. 434 00:19:08,969 --> 00:19:09,902 - Travis. - I'm just... 435 00:19:09,904 --> 00:19:11,537 - He's my friend. 436 00:19:11,539 --> 00:19:12,738 - Yeah. 437 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:14,940 - What happened to your legs? 438 00:19:14,942 --> 00:19:15,674 - Uh. 439 00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:18,177 What happened to your teeth? 440 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,079 - You need something fixed? 441 00:19:21,081 --> 00:19:23,282 - Nah, I just, I came to show him around. 442 00:19:23,284 --> 00:19:25,951 - You know, I actually, I do have a car. 443 00:19:25,953 --> 00:19:27,019 - You do? 444 00:19:27,021 --> 00:19:28,086 - Yeah. 445 00:19:28,455 --> 00:19:31,256 It's a '85 Nissan Skyline. 446 00:19:31,258 --> 00:19:33,659 - Oh, ironically hip. 447 00:19:33,661 --> 00:19:34,426 - It's a shit box. 448 00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:35,794 - Oh, don't say that. 449 00:19:35,796 --> 00:19:37,262 Bring her in. 450 00:19:37,264 --> 00:19:37,863 - Uh. 451 00:19:37,865 --> 00:19:42,634 I kinda don't have a licence and it's a little banged up. 452 00:19:42,636 --> 00:19:44,136 Long story. 453 00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:45,337 - Shorten it. 454 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,240 - I may have allegedly intended to run 455 00:19:48,242 --> 00:19:52,778 some kids over and kinda crashed into a flag pole. 456 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:55,047 - You brought down the flag? 457 00:19:55,049 --> 00:19:57,115 You are a rebel. 458 00:19:57,117 --> 00:19:58,050 - Am I famous now? 459 00:19:58,052 --> 00:20:00,319 - No, it's just I go to... 460 00:20:00,321 --> 00:20:01,520 - You know, 461 00:20:01,522 --> 00:20:02,387 I hate 462 00:20:02,389 --> 00:20:06,725 those little remedial learning shits, man. 463 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,360 Spawn of Satan. 464 00:20:09,496 --> 00:20:10,162 - Wow. 465 00:20:10,164 --> 00:20:12,297 You're really a pinata full of crazy, aren't you? 466 00:20:12,299 --> 00:20:16,702 Just crack you open and out it pours. 467 00:20:18,372 --> 00:20:19,171 Come on. 468 00:20:19,173 --> 00:20:20,872 Now you show me yours. 469 00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:26,411 One day I want a workshop just like that. 470 00:20:27,548 --> 00:20:28,447 What's your dream? 471 00:20:28,449 --> 00:20:29,648 - I don't dream. 472 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:32,384 - Bullshit, everyone has a dream. 473 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,119 Why don't you bring her in? 474 00:20:34,121 --> 00:20:37,623 Mario and I will do her up like new, pro bono. 475 00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:39,925 - Mario seems like a really cool guy. 476 00:20:39,927 --> 00:20:40,993 - Yeah, beyond. 477 00:20:40,995 --> 00:20:43,362 I wanna be that guy when I grow up. 478 00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:44,696 Only with teeth. 479 00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:50,736 - So that's a pass on the radio and rabbits? 480 00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:54,773 - Well, cushy life might be nice, you know? 481 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,042 But I don't always wanna be defined 482 00:20:57,044 --> 00:20:58,744 by my inability to make toast. 483 00:20:58,746 --> 00:21:00,145 Don't forget to tune in 484 00:21:00,147 --> 00:21:01,780 for "Mikey In the Morning." 485 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:02,681 7 A.M. weekdays! 486 00:21:02,683 --> 00:21:03,815 Who says that men 487 00:21:03,817 --> 00:21:04,750 never help around the house? 488 00:21:04,752 --> 00:21:05,851 When my girlfriend's vacuuming... 489 00:21:05,853 --> 00:21:06,885 - Is that him? 490 00:21:06,887 --> 00:21:07,753 - That's him. 491 00:21:07,755 --> 00:21:09,288 Is that not helping? 492 00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:10,022 You tell me. 493 00:21:10,024 --> 00:21:11,790 - He has a catchphrase. 494 00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:13,292 Really? 495 00:21:13,294 --> 00:21:14,593 Is that lame? 496 00:21:14,595 --> 00:21:15,595 You tell me. 497 00:21:16,864 --> 00:21:18,130 - You don't think he's funny? 498 00:21:18,132 --> 00:21:20,399 - Uh, no. 499 00:21:23,771 --> 00:21:24,836 - Okay. 500 00:21:28,075 --> 00:21:29,107 - Frankly, I could live without 501 00:21:29,109 --> 00:21:30,709 all the grease tracked into the house. 502 00:21:30,711 --> 00:21:31,910 - Yeah, I shower at the workshop. 503 00:21:31,912 --> 00:21:34,279 - Oh, I'm sure Mario would love that. 504 00:21:34,281 --> 00:21:36,748 - He is a hundred years old. 505 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:37,549 - He's still a man. 506 00:21:37,551 --> 00:21:39,685 Oh God, listen to me, I sound like mom. 507 00:21:39,687 --> 00:21:41,620 - Mario's is part of my study 508 00:21:41,622 --> 00:21:44,022 and I have to come up with a major project 509 00:21:44,024 --> 00:21:44,990 for Mechanics anyhow. 510 00:21:44,992 --> 00:21:47,426 I don't have to do this comedy thing. 511 00:21:47,428 --> 00:21:48,427 - Yeah you do! - Yeah you do! 512 00:21:48,429 --> 00:21:51,396 - Darling, you could have a career in radio. 513 00:21:51,398 --> 00:21:53,498 It's perks a plenty, premium money. 514 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,232 For what? 515 00:21:54,234 --> 00:21:55,467 I sit in a studio a couple hours a day 516 00:21:55,469 --> 00:21:56,568 and I make people laugh. 517 00:21:56,570 --> 00:21:58,637 - What's the worst that could happen? 518 00:21:58,639 --> 00:21:59,571 You buy me a house. 519 00:21:59,573 --> 00:22:01,740 - Yeah, how do you think I've afforded this place? 520 00:22:01,742 --> 00:22:04,009 - Fine, I'll do it until they see me. 521 00:22:04,011 --> 00:22:04,976 - That's my girl. 522 00:22:04,978 --> 00:22:06,978 - But as soon as they realise I suck, 523 00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,513 you'll both quit hassling me 524 00:22:08,515 --> 00:22:11,149 and I can just get on with my mechanic stuff. 525 00:22:11,151 --> 00:22:11,850 - Sure. 526 00:22:11,852 --> 00:22:13,352 - Babe, you'd got a real shot here. 527 00:22:13,354 --> 00:22:16,121 - Don't I get to choose what I shoot at? 528 00:22:45,452 --> 00:22:48,520 Okay, so what do we do now? 529 00:22:48,522 --> 00:22:50,956 How do I learn to do what you did? 530 00:22:52,393 --> 00:22:54,326 - I don't know. 531 00:22:54,628 --> 00:22:57,329 I just insulted myself, really, 532 00:22:57,331 --> 00:23:00,198 and I did it better than he did. 533 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,868 - Yes, there's nothing funnier than a bit of 534 00:23:02,870 --> 00:23:05,470 good old fashion self-hate. 535 00:23:05,472 --> 00:23:06,037 - Well, 536 00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:08,006 you're shit out of luck then. 537 00:23:08,375 --> 00:23:10,142 - Are you saying that I'm not riddled 538 00:23:10,144 --> 00:23:12,477 with festering self-loathing? 539 00:23:12,479 --> 00:23:13,378 Moi? 540 00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:15,247 - Well, what's to love? 541 00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:18,049 - Story time. 542 00:23:19,553 --> 00:23:22,687 Once upon a time, there was a little girl. 543 00:23:22,689 --> 00:23:26,258 Everyone said this little girl was very pretty. 544 00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:30,195 Especially Mr. Henry from over the back. 545 00:23:30,197 --> 00:23:33,331 When Mummy and Daddy were away, 546 00:23:33,634 --> 00:23:36,134 Mr. Henry would come and visit the little girl 547 00:23:36,136 --> 00:23:39,104 and he'd give her special treats. 548 00:23:39,106 --> 00:23:41,473 Special secret treats. 549 00:23:41,475 --> 00:23:42,307 - Don't. 550 00:23:42,309 --> 00:23:43,074 - Fine. 551 00:23:43,076 --> 00:23:45,143 I got messed around with as a kid. 552 00:23:45,145 --> 00:23:46,945 My parents never figured it out, 553 00:23:46,947 --> 00:23:48,713 I fucking hated them for it. 554 00:23:48,715 --> 00:23:50,749 I made them pay. 555 00:23:50,751 --> 00:23:51,650 - Do they know now? 556 00:23:51,652 --> 00:23:53,819 - If I run into them, I'll ask. 557 00:23:56,123 --> 00:23:59,491 I've been living with my sister since I was 15. 558 00:23:59,493 --> 00:24:03,195 I guess they figured out something was wrong 559 00:24:03,197 --> 00:24:06,498 when I was hospitalised with bulimia. 560 00:24:07,501 --> 00:24:08,133 - Bulimia? 561 00:24:08,135 --> 00:24:10,535 - Yeah, fun game, have you ever played? 562 00:24:10,537 --> 00:24:11,736 It's easy. 563 00:24:11,738 --> 00:24:14,473 You start by wanting to be loved 564 00:24:14,475 --> 00:24:17,642 and then you do something that makes you feel like 565 00:24:17,644 --> 00:24:18,977 you don't deserve that love, 566 00:24:18,979 --> 00:24:21,913 so you withhold reward from yourself. 567 00:24:21,915 --> 00:24:25,217 Till one day, something snaps. 568 00:24:25,219 --> 00:24:26,985 You can't live without love, right? 569 00:24:26,987 --> 00:24:31,790 Or in my case, you can't live without chocolate cheesecake. 570 00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:32,491 So you binge 571 00:24:32,493 --> 00:24:35,160 but it never fills that spot that's really empty 572 00:24:35,162 --> 00:24:37,596 and now you really fucking hate yourself, 573 00:24:37,598 --> 00:24:39,898 you must be punished and you've gotta offload 574 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,867 all that undeserved love 575 00:24:44,171 --> 00:24:45,370 down the toilet. 576 00:24:46,974 --> 00:24:50,976 - Well now who's the pinata full of crazy? 577 00:24:52,045 --> 00:24:56,314 You game to take that up there and whack at it with a stick? 578 00:25:00,187 --> 00:25:02,921 - Food is important because it's the one thing 579 00:25:02,923 --> 00:25:05,023 that can take your mind off relationships. 580 00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:08,426 - Yeah, is that the whole horrible truth? 581 00:25:09,129 --> 00:25:09,928 - What do you mean? 582 00:25:09,930 --> 00:25:13,665 - What's really taking your mind off what? 583 00:25:14,268 --> 00:25:15,400 - Relationships. 584 00:25:15,402 --> 00:25:17,435 Relationships are incredibly important 585 00:25:17,437 --> 00:25:18,937 because they're the one thing in life 586 00:25:18,939 --> 00:25:21,706 that can stop you spending 24 hours a day 587 00:25:21,708 --> 00:25:22,908 thinking about food. 588 00:25:24,278 --> 00:25:25,110 - Yeah! 589 00:25:25,112 --> 00:25:25,710 Yeah. 590 00:25:25,712 --> 00:25:29,247 Therapy is basically paying someone to be your friend. 591 00:25:29,249 --> 00:25:31,016 It's one step away from 592 00:25:31,018 --> 00:25:33,184 having your mom hang a chop around your neck 593 00:25:33,186 --> 00:25:35,020 so the dog will play with you. 594 00:25:35,022 --> 00:25:37,689 - Except the chop doesn't cost 180 per hour 595 00:25:37,691 --> 00:25:41,793 and the therapist doesn't try to hump your leg after. 596 00:25:41,795 --> 00:25:42,795 Mostly. 597 00:25:43,897 --> 00:25:46,798 - Whoa, what happened to the toaster bit? 598 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:50,235 - I just, I feel like it's a little bit dated. 599 00:25:50,237 --> 00:25:50,802 - Dated? 600 00:25:50,804 --> 00:25:51,803 I wrote that for you. 601 00:25:51,805 --> 00:25:53,204 You always burn the toast. 602 00:25:53,206 --> 00:25:54,139 It's your thing, Sunny. 603 00:25:54,141 --> 00:25:55,540 - Yeah, and it was really, it was funny at the time. 604 00:25:55,542 --> 00:25:57,042 - Is this your stuff? 605 00:25:57,044 --> 00:25:59,277 - I made some suggestions 606 00:25:59,279 --> 00:26:01,513 but Sunny has the final say. 607 00:26:01,515 --> 00:26:04,950 - Sunny has assertiveness issues, don't you, babe? 608 00:26:04,952 --> 00:26:05,952 - If you say so. 609 00:26:08,455 --> 00:26:09,521 - What? 610 00:26:12,125 --> 00:26:13,858 Mate, ditch the personal stuff. 611 00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:15,060 That's not what I'm paying you for. 612 00:26:15,062 --> 00:26:16,795 I've got radio execs coming to to the open mic night 613 00:26:16,797 --> 00:26:20,398 and that nihilistic shit is not breakfast radio. 614 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,232 Capisce? 615 00:26:21,234 --> 00:26:22,067 - Yeah. 616 00:26:22,069 --> 00:26:23,134 - Good. 617 00:26:31,812 --> 00:26:34,112 - The toaster bit. 618 00:26:34,114 --> 00:26:35,580 Why? 619 00:26:35,582 --> 00:26:36,781 - It's good. 620 00:26:36,783 --> 00:26:37,682 It's you. 621 00:26:37,684 --> 00:26:38,750 It... 622 00:26:38,752 --> 00:26:40,318 And it's relatable. 623 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,021 Everybody burns toast. 624 00:26:46,860 --> 00:26:47,792 - Bella? 625 00:26:47,794 --> 00:26:48,493 - Huh? 626 00:26:48,495 --> 00:26:50,662 - Can you get me a torque wrench? 627 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:55,767 You come up with a project yet? 628 00:26:55,769 --> 00:26:56,835 - Mmmm. 629 00:26:57,571 --> 00:27:00,071 Do you think it would be possible to put 630 00:27:00,073 --> 00:27:02,207 training wheels on my scooter? 631 00:27:02,876 --> 00:27:03,942 - Why? 632 00:27:04,511 --> 00:27:06,511 - Bathroom, hang on one sec. 633 00:27:31,838 --> 00:27:33,138 - And so the terrorist says, 634 00:27:33,140 --> 00:27:35,206 does my bomb look big in this? 635 00:27:37,377 --> 00:27:38,043 Okay. 636 00:27:38,045 --> 00:27:39,177 All right, next up, we've got a girl 637 00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:40,979 who's spent more time behind bars 638 00:27:40,981 --> 00:27:45,050 than Schapelle Corby, our own Sunny O'Hara. 639 00:27:50,157 --> 00:27:51,122 Just remember what I told you. 640 00:27:51,124 --> 00:27:54,325 You'll be fine, you're adorable. 641 00:27:54,995 --> 00:27:56,161 - Is there anything funnier 642 00:27:56,163 --> 00:27:59,064 than a girl with an eating disorder? 643 00:27:59,066 --> 00:28:00,265 I don't think so. 644 00:28:01,835 --> 00:28:02,834 You know what's weird though? 645 00:28:02,836 --> 00:28:04,669 It's weird how proud some people are 646 00:28:04,671 --> 00:28:06,371 to tell you they're bulimic. 647 00:28:06,373 --> 00:28:07,806 Like it's a badge of courage. 648 00:28:07,808 --> 00:28:09,974 It's not, it's just a disgusting illness. 649 00:28:09,976 --> 00:28:13,545 I mean, who in their right mind goes around bragging, 650 00:28:13,547 --> 00:28:18,750 yep, yes, yes I do, I suffer from haemorrhoids. 651 00:28:18,752 --> 00:28:20,018 I blame the fashion industry. 652 00:28:20,020 --> 00:28:22,320 They're always always pushing the image 653 00:28:22,322 --> 00:28:23,922 that a woman is only attractive 654 00:28:23,924 --> 00:28:26,791 with enormous lumps bulging out of her anus. 655 00:28:28,562 --> 00:28:29,227 Ugh. 656 00:28:29,229 --> 00:28:32,363 I mean, fashion magazines, they made me bulimic. 657 00:28:32,365 --> 00:28:33,064 No they didn't. 658 00:28:33,066 --> 00:28:34,466 Stop kidding yourself. 659 00:28:34,468 --> 00:28:38,036 Vogue could fill its covers with fat chicks tomorrow, 660 00:28:38,038 --> 00:28:40,071 it's not gonna cure one binger. 661 00:28:40,073 --> 00:28:43,374 You wanna know how I became bulimic? 662 00:28:43,376 --> 00:28:44,442 Okay. 663 00:28:47,647 --> 00:28:48,713 Sorry. 664 00:28:52,085 --> 00:28:55,987 Sorry, I think I just swallowed a bug 665 00:28:55,989 --> 00:28:58,289 and what's really disturbing about that 666 00:28:58,291 --> 00:29:01,793 is that is the first time I've eaten in front of anyone 667 00:29:01,795 --> 00:29:02,961 in three years. 668 00:29:04,531 --> 00:29:06,030 - You could eat me! 669 00:29:08,435 --> 00:29:09,501 - Um... 670 00:29:10,137 --> 00:29:11,336 I could eat you, yes. 671 00:29:11,338 --> 00:29:13,972 Thank you, sir, I suppose I could. 672 00:29:13,974 --> 00:29:16,374 But I'd fucking just throw up afterwards. 673 00:29:20,514 --> 00:29:21,780 - It's good, it's well handled. 674 00:29:21,782 --> 00:29:23,114 - Not bad. 675 00:29:23,116 --> 00:29:24,015 - She's very good. 676 00:29:24,017 --> 00:29:25,483 - Does she write her own material? 677 00:29:25,485 --> 00:29:26,651 - No, I've been helping her. 678 00:29:26,653 --> 00:29:27,886 - I've spent years 679 00:29:27,888 --> 00:29:31,723 trying to make myself look like a Barbie doll 680 00:29:31,725 --> 00:29:33,391 until it hit me. 681 00:29:33,393 --> 00:29:35,627 The reason Barbie is so thin 682 00:29:35,629 --> 00:29:39,731 is because she can't bend her elbows. 683 00:29:40,033 --> 00:29:45,436 Have you ever tried to get food in your mouth like this? 684 00:29:46,439 --> 00:29:47,505 Here we go. 685 00:29:50,210 --> 00:29:51,242 Oh. 686 00:29:52,012 --> 00:29:53,077 And... 687 00:29:57,350 --> 00:29:58,583 - She's great. 688 00:30:00,253 --> 00:30:01,753 - It takes all kinds of dreams 689 00:30:01,755 --> 00:30:03,822 to make the world go round. 690 00:30:03,824 --> 00:30:07,192 Pipe dreams, heroic dreams, 691 00:30:07,194 --> 00:30:08,293 wet dreams. 692 00:30:08,295 --> 00:30:10,662 Travis had them all and he found a way 693 00:30:10,664 --> 00:30:12,030 to live them through someone else 694 00:30:12,032 --> 00:30:14,165 without ever showing his face. 695 00:30:14,167 --> 00:30:15,967 - Want to be your friend. 696 00:30:16,636 --> 00:30:19,971 - Mikey tells us radio's always been your dream. 697 00:30:19,973 --> 00:30:21,372 - That and the reoccurring one 698 00:30:21,374 --> 00:30:23,942 where I'm trapped in a sinking car. 699 00:30:24,644 --> 00:30:25,476 - That's funny. 700 00:30:25,478 --> 00:30:26,344 - See, told you. - You... 701 00:30:26,346 --> 00:30:27,612 - Told you. - Don't need to joke with us. 702 00:30:27,614 --> 00:30:28,913 - What's she saying is, no pressure. 703 00:30:28,915 --> 00:30:31,583 All right, 'cause we've met all the great comedians, so... 704 00:30:31,585 --> 00:30:33,585 - So nothing really makes us laughing. 705 00:30:33,587 --> 00:30:34,586 - Right. - Okay. 706 00:30:34,588 --> 00:30:35,486 - Look at me. 707 00:30:35,488 --> 00:30:36,254 - Loot at him. 708 00:30:36,256 --> 00:30:37,522 - Here's the 411. 709 00:30:38,725 --> 00:30:40,024 We love you. - We like you. 710 00:30:40,026 --> 00:30:41,659 - You've got the talent, right? 711 00:30:41,661 --> 00:30:43,428 You've obviously got the looks. 712 00:30:43,430 --> 00:30:44,395 You've got the sincerity. 713 00:30:44,397 --> 00:30:45,663 - So important in radio. 714 00:30:45,665 --> 00:30:47,298 - Got terrific material. 715 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:48,399 - The material was good. 716 00:30:48,401 --> 00:30:51,236 - So we're gonna have a talk about putting you on air now. 717 00:30:51,238 --> 00:30:54,706 - You could be the contemporary edge this show needs. 718 00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:56,407 - Between us, no one else, 719 00:30:56,409 --> 00:30:57,442 ratings are down. 720 00:30:57,444 --> 00:30:58,309 - They've dipped a bit. 721 00:30:58,311 --> 00:31:00,044 - A dip means its temporary. 722 00:31:00,046 --> 00:31:01,446 - Temporary. - Okay? 723 00:31:01,448 --> 00:31:04,749 And I, we, can sell the shit out of you. 724 00:31:04,751 --> 00:31:05,750 - Absolutely. 725 00:31:05,752 --> 00:31:06,718 - Yeah? 726 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:07,852 - Yeah. 727 00:31:07,854 --> 00:31:09,687 - Because what I'm seeing 728 00:31:10,790 --> 00:31:12,557 is that face on a bus. 729 00:31:12,559 --> 00:31:13,658 - Wow. 730 00:31:14,995 --> 00:31:16,561 - That's my card. 731 00:31:16,563 --> 00:31:18,263 - Do you have a card? 732 00:31:18,265 --> 00:31:18,963 - No, I don't. 733 00:31:18,965 --> 00:31:20,131 I don't, I don't, what would I put on it? 734 00:31:20,133 --> 00:31:21,366 - You get on it... - It's very important. 735 00:31:21,368 --> 00:31:22,367 - And get her a card! 736 00:31:22,369 --> 00:31:23,902 - Everyone in radio has a card. 737 00:31:23,904 --> 00:31:25,136 - You're on our shortlist. 738 00:31:25,138 --> 00:31:26,137 - You're on our list. 739 00:31:26,139 --> 00:31:27,305 - Well you won't be, dear, you're a star. 740 00:31:27,307 --> 00:31:29,340 - We'll see, we'll see. 741 00:31:30,577 --> 00:31:33,278 - What do you see in that guy? 742 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,079 - Okay, rude. 743 00:31:35,348 --> 00:31:38,182 - I mean, you could just do so much better. 744 00:31:38,184 --> 00:31:38,816 - Right. 745 00:31:38,818 --> 00:31:42,053 He is funny, famous, good looking. 746 00:31:42,055 --> 00:31:43,821 Doesn't think I'm certifiable. 747 00:31:43,823 --> 00:31:46,758 I am totally lowering my standards. 748 00:31:47,060 --> 00:31:49,093 - And he's really shallow. 749 00:31:49,462 --> 00:31:50,795 - Only on the surface. 750 00:31:52,232 --> 00:31:54,399 You know what the radio guys really liked? 751 00:31:54,401 --> 00:31:56,834 It wasn't me, it was your jokes. 752 00:31:56,836 --> 00:31:57,502 - Your life. 753 00:31:57,504 --> 00:31:59,037 - That you made funny. 754 00:31:59,439 --> 00:32:01,172 You should be up there. 755 00:32:01,908 --> 00:32:02,674 - Oh, why not? 756 00:32:02,676 --> 00:32:05,777 You'd be fucking incendiary. 757 00:32:06,246 --> 00:32:08,379 - Some people are better behind-the-scenes. 758 00:32:08,381 --> 00:32:11,316 - You really have no idea, do you? 759 00:32:11,318 --> 00:32:13,818 - About what? 760 00:32:13,820 --> 00:32:15,453 - About you. 761 00:32:37,177 --> 00:32:37,976 - Pass me loofah? 762 00:32:37,978 --> 00:32:39,077 - What the hell? 763 00:32:39,079 --> 00:32:39,744 - The loofah. 764 00:32:39,746 --> 00:32:41,746 The big scrubby sponge thingy. 765 00:32:41,748 --> 00:32:42,847 You do have a loofah. 766 00:32:42,849 --> 00:32:44,949 - What are you doing in my bath? 767 00:32:44,951 --> 00:32:45,917 - Nothing nasty. 768 00:32:45,919 --> 00:32:48,019 I'm just having a spa. 769 00:32:48,021 --> 00:32:48,987 With my friends. 770 00:32:48,989 --> 00:32:51,556 I needed to wash off the sticky residue. 771 00:32:51,558 --> 00:32:52,357 - Of what? 772 00:32:52,359 --> 00:32:55,026 - Of unrequited dreams. 773 00:32:55,028 --> 00:32:55,827 - In my tub? 774 00:32:55,829 --> 00:32:57,628 - Well, if there's one thing I learned from last night 775 00:32:57,630 --> 00:32:59,664 it's when you want something you don't have, 776 00:32:59,666 --> 00:33:01,299 you use someone else's. 777 00:33:02,035 --> 00:33:03,001 Hi, 778 00:33:03,003 --> 00:33:04,135 I'm Sunny. 779 00:33:04,137 --> 00:33:06,270 I'm cute and perky 780 00:33:06,573 --> 00:33:08,773 and I'll say all your funny shit for you 781 00:33:08,775 --> 00:33:09,774 so you don't have to show 782 00:33:09,776 --> 00:33:12,343 your hideously disfigured self in public. 783 00:33:12,345 --> 00:33:13,444 But what's in it for me? 784 00:33:13,446 --> 00:33:15,646 Other than your hand up my ass. 785 00:33:17,517 --> 00:33:19,450 - You think I'm using her? 786 00:33:20,353 --> 00:33:23,788 - Did you ever stop to ask what I want? 787 00:33:25,558 --> 00:33:26,657 - Ugh. 788 00:33:30,563 --> 00:33:33,631 - All right, here's to the successful completion 789 00:33:33,633 --> 00:33:34,332 of stage one. 790 00:33:34,334 --> 00:33:35,233 - There are stages now? 791 00:33:35,235 --> 00:33:36,701 What am I, the moon landing? 792 00:33:36,703 --> 00:33:38,202 - Hey, mock not, we've piqued their interest. 793 00:33:38,204 --> 00:33:41,272 Now we just have to make it impossible for them to say no. 794 00:33:41,274 --> 00:33:42,040 - Say no to what? 795 00:33:42,042 --> 00:33:44,042 It's not like I'm asking them for anything. 796 00:33:44,044 --> 00:33:47,345 - That's exactly the attitude I'm looking for. 797 00:33:47,347 --> 00:33:50,148 - Is it what she's looking for? 798 00:33:50,150 --> 00:33:52,617 - Put a falafel in it, wobbly boy. 799 00:33:52,619 --> 00:33:55,286 - What're we talking about here, Mikey? 800 00:33:57,057 --> 00:33:57,955 - "Bring the Funny." 801 00:33:57,957 --> 00:33:59,891 The biggest comedy festival on the planet. 802 00:33:59,893 --> 00:34:03,694 We're gonna enter you into the unsigned open mic contest. 803 00:34:03,696 --> 00:34:06,197 You win this and you are breakfast radio. 804 00:34:06,199 --> 00:34:08,633 - Oh wow, you say it like it's such an easy thing. 805 00:34:08,635 --> 00:34:10,501 There's actually gonna be funny people doing this. 806 00:34:10,503 --> 00:34:12,437 - All you need is one good routine. 807 00:34:12,439 --> 00:34:13,271 It's three heats. 808 00:34:13,273 --> 00:34:15,640 The winner gets a slot in the closing night showcase. 809 00:34:15,642 --> 00:34:16,307 Televised live. 810 00:34:16,309 --> 00:34:18,709 - Shouldn't we ask if it's what she wants? 811 00:34:18,711 --> 00:34:20,344 - Celebrity judges. 812 00:34:20,346 --> 00:34:21,846 Rumour? 813 00:34:21,848 --> 00:34:23,448 Barry Humphries. 814 00:34:23,450 --> 00:34:24,415 - No way. 815 00:34:24,417 --> 00:34:25,016 - Who? 816 00:34:25,018 --> 00:34:26,884 - Only Dame Edna Everage. 817 00:34:26,886 --> 00:34:29,253 An Australian cultural icon. 818 00:34:29,656 --> 00:34:31,289 - Anyone in comedy knows who he is. 819 00:34:31,291 --> 00:34:31,856 - Yeah. 820 00:34:31,858 --> 00:34:32,723 Where did you hear this? 821 00:34:32,725 --> 00:34:33,958 - I move in circles. 822 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,393 - Do you get dizzy? 823 00:34:36,062 --> 00:34:37,028 - So I want you guys together 824 00:34:37,030 --> 00:34:39,530 working on seven minutes of comedy gold. 825 00:34:39,532 --> 00:34:43,101 From now on, you two are inseparable. 826 00:34:43,103 --> 00:34:44,168 Okay? 827 00:34:46,406 --> 00:34:47,605 You were saying? 828 00:34:50,543 --> 00:34:51,543 - Nothing important. 829 00:34:59,219 --> 00:35:02,787 ♪ I can see that you are leading her on ♪ 830 00:35:02,789 --> 00:35:05,022 ♪ I think I know what you are 831 00:35:05,024 --> 00:35:06,190 - Thank you! 832 00:35:06,192 --> 00:35:07,091 - Thank you very much! 833 00:35:07,093 --> 00:35:09,694 ♪ I can see that you are leading her on ♪ 834 00:35:09,696 --> 00:35:12,830 ♪ Yeah, I know what you are 835 00:35:12,832 --> 00:35:16,234 ♪ You can't see that you're just the same ♪ 836 00:35:16,236 --> 00:35:20,004 ♪ As all the stupid people who you hate ♪ 837 00:35:20,006 --> 00:35:23,141 ♪ I'm not saying I'm free from blame ♪ 838 00:35:23,143 --> 00:35:26,244 ♪ Because I need all the friends I can get ♪ 839 00:35:26,246 --> 00:35:28,579 - Who needs 20 wheels? 840 00:35:29,048 --> 00:35:31,449 - I'm Evel fucking Knievel. 841 00:35:41,060 --> 00:35:41,626 Therapy. 842 00:35:41,628 --> 00:35:45,029 ♪ A long distance call to a mystery blond ♪ 843 00:35:45,031 --> 00:35:47,965 ♪ It wasn't good for business 844 00:35:47,967 --> 00:35:51,936 ♪ You say that she cried when she heard the bird's song ♪ 845 00:35:51,938 --> 00:35:53,237 - On thing in life that can stop you 846 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,973 spending 24 hours a day thinking about food. 847 00:35:55,975 --> 00:35:59,043 Dieting, for a girl with body image issues, 848 00:35:59,045 --> 00:36:04,048 the ultimate aim is to end up looking like this. 849 00:36:04,050 --> 00:36:05,116 But with boobs. 850 00:36:05,118 --> 00:36:06,083 - Whoa, I thought we agreed 851 00:36:06,085 --> 00:36:07,552 to stay away from the personal stuff. 852 00:36:07,554 --> 00:36:09,987 - You agreed, Mikey, but if you want me to do this 853 00:36:09,989 --> 00:36:11,956 you have to at least let me do it as me. 854 00:36:11,958 --> 00:36:14,592 - Sweetie, bulimia is not funny. 855 00:36:14,594 --> 00:36:16,794 I'm just trying to tell you what works. 856 00:36:16,796 --> 00:36:18,162 - What works for you. 857 00:36:18,164 --> 00:36:20,131 You can get away the superficial chit chat 858 00:36:20,133 --> 00:36:23,634 and the cute catchphrases. - Hey, I'm not superficial. 859 00:36:23,636 --> 00:36:24,802 I do all the telethons. 860 00:36:24,804 --> 00:36:26,904 Those things go all night. 861 00:36:26,906 --> 00:36:27,805 Look, all I'm trying to do... 862 00:36:27,807 --> 00:36:30,374 - Is mould me to fit your image. 863 00:36:32,345 --> 00:36:33,010 - Fine. 864 00:36:33,012 --> 00:36:34,812 Yeah, yeah, I should be at the studio. 865 00:36:34,814 --> 00:36:36,581 I've got stuff to do. 866 00:36:38,952 --> 00:36:41,719 You know, I didn't have to choose you. 867 00:36:43,656 --> 00:36:45,022 I mean, you know what I mean. 868 00:36:45,024 --> 00:36:47,124 - Yeah, you mean that you had better options 869 00:36:47,126 --> 00:36:49,193 and that I should feel lucky. 870 00:36:49,195 --> 00:36:49,827 - No. 871 00:36:49,829 --> 00:36:50,861 - And I do, Mikey. 872 00:36:50,863 --> 00:36:52,830 You make me feel lucky to be with you 873 00:36:52,832 --> 00:36:55,066 like I'm this broken thing 874 00:36:55,068 --> 00:36:58,736 and you're the only one on the planet that can fix me. 875 00:36:58,738 --> 00:37:01,372 Maybe if I'm lucky. 876 00:37:03,476 --> 00:37:04,875 - I don't need this. 877 00:37:13,486 --> 00:37:17,121 - "Charlotte and Davo forever." 878 00:37:17,123 --> 00:37:19,924 Sorry, kids, it was never gonna last. 879 00:37:19,926 --> 00:37:25,830 Davo is too fond of dope and Charlotte is a dope. 880 00:37:26,132 --> 00:37:27,932 Maybe they do have a chance. 881 00:37:30,770 --> 00:37:31,836 Hello? 882 00:37:33,439 --> 00:37:35,373 Campus is closed! 883 00:37:38,678 --> 00:37:40,244 - My secret's out. 884 00:37:43,783 --> 00:37:46,083 I'm one of the spawn of Satan. 885 00:37:46,619 --> 00:37:49,086 - How long have you been in there? 886 00:37:49,088 --> 00:37:50,454 - Since lunchtime. 887 00:37:52,191 --> 00:37:53,291 - Want a Tic Tac? 888 00:37:53,293 --> 00:37:55,693 - Why, does my breath, does it reek? 889 00:37:55,695 --> 00:37:56,360 - No. 890 00:37:56,362 --> 00:37:58,229 I just don't have a handkerchief. 891 00:38:03,269 --> 00:38:04,402 What's wrong? 892 00:38:06,205 --> 00:38:07,538 - Life. 893 00:38:08,107 --> 00:38:08,773 I decided I, 894 00:38:08,775 --> 00:38:13,711 I might as well stay in there and just die of misery. 895 00:38:13,713 --> 00:38:15,680 Or the stench, whichever got me first really 896 00:38:15,682 --> 00:38:19,784 and then you came along, you made me laugh and kinda, 897 00:38:19,786 --> 00:38:22,453 you spoiled my whole wallowing thing. 898 00:38:27,527 --> 00:38:31,395 Can you believe the sad shit that people write up here? 899 00:38:37,003 --> 00:38:39,170 - There's a spare roller here. 900 00:38:40,907 --> 00:38:42,039 - Thanks. 901 00:38:42,542 --> 00:38:45,142 - I'm about as socially desperate as it gets, 902 00:38:45,144 --> 00:38:48,346 but even I don't want my name in a heart 903 00:38:48,348 --> 00:38:50,014 on the back of a toilet door. 904 00:38:56,789 --> 00:38:59,690 - "Donna is a towel-head skank." 905 00:38:59,692 --> 00:39:01,092 Not anymore. 906 00:39:02,095 --> 00:39:04,462 - "Britney sucks dogs." 907 00:39:04,464 --> 00:39:05,796 No she does not. 908 00:39:05,798 --> 00:39:08,833 - Look at that, just wiping out racial disharmony 909 00:39:08,835 --> 00:39:13,003 and unsavoury bestial practises in one stroke! 910 00:39:13,439 --> 00:39:16,173 - And these are the normal people. 911 00:39:16,175 --> 00:39:17,007 - I know, right? 912 00:39:17,009 --> 00:39:20,244 How did we become the social outcasts? 913 00:39:20,246 --> 00:39:22,146 - It's not fair, is it? 914 00:39:23,182 --> 00:39:26,650 - If the world was fair, ice cream would be slimming. 915 00:39:26,652 --> 00:39:27,551 - If the world was fair, 916 00:39:27,553 --> 00:39:31,322 small furry animals would wear coats of super models. 917 00:39:31,324 --> 00:39:34,425 - And chocolate would cure pimples. 918 00:39:35,361 --> 00:39:37,094 - Beer would improve driving. 919 00:39:37,096 --> 00:39:40,498 - Neurosis would be irresistibly attractive. 920 00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:41,500 - Mmmm. 921 00:39:49,075 --> 00:39:50,241 I think I need training wheels. 922 00:39:50,243 --> 00:39:52,076 - No, you're fine. 923 00:39:52,478 --> 00:39:55,813 Hey, why don't you take her home? 924 00:39:56,416 --> 00:39:58,015 - You think? 925 00:39:58,017 --> 00:39:58,783 - Yeah. 926 00:39:58,785 --> 00:40:00,050 Live dangerously. 927 00:40:06,859 --> 00:40:07,925 - Um. 928 00:40:24,477 --> 00:40:26,043 - What the fuck are you doing? 929 00:40:26,045 --> 00:40:27,244 - I am peeing. 930 00:40:28,114 --> 00:40:29,113 - You just gonna be a smart ass 931 00:40:29,115 --> 00:40:30,114 little bitch your whole life? 932 00:40:30,116 --> 00:40:32,750 - Okay, this situation is a little vulnerable 933 00:40:32,752 --> 00:40:33,984 for this particular game. 934 00:40:33,986 --> 00:40:35,219 Can we just have a temporary delay in play? 935 00:40:35,221 --> 00:40:37,054 - You expect me to be considerate of you 936 00:40:37,056 --> 00:40:38,389 but you don't think about the affect 937 00:40:38,391 --> 00:40:40,991 of your actions on anyone else. 938 00:40:40,993 --> 00:40:43,060 It feels good so you do it. 939 00:40:43,062 --> 00:40:44,662 - Okay, this is fun. 940 00:40:44,664 --> 00:40:46,897 - You've got a boyfriend who's kinda hot 941 00:40:46,899 --> 00:40:48,299 and kinda famous, but no, 942 00:40:48,301 --> 00:40:49,667 you decided it would be a good idea 943 00:40:49,669 --> 00:40:52,069 to make out with the little spastic. 944 00:40:52,071 --> 00:40:53,771 - Good job, neighbourhood watch. 945 00:40:53,773 --> 00:40:55,706 - What're you thinking? 946 00:40:55,708 --> 00:40:57,308 - I don't know, maybe I... 947 00:40:57,310 --> 00:40:58,375 Maybe I made one mistake. 948 00:40:58,377 --> 00:41:00,344 Let's not turn this into something... 949 00:41:00,346 --> 00:41:01,178 - One mistake? 950 00:41:01,180 --> 00:41:04,815 Sunny, this is your fucking life! 951 00:41:05,151 --> 00:41:08,486 You do these things because it feels, I don't know, 952 00:41:08,488 --> 00:41:10,521 exciting or naughty. 953 00:41:10,523 --> 00:41:13,190 You invite people to use you 954 00:41:13,192 --> 00:41:14,258 and when it all turns ugly, 955 00:41:14,260 --> 00:41:16,627 you expect someone else to come in and pick up 956 00:41:16,629 --> 00:41:17,962 all your broken little pieces. 957 00:41:17,964 --> 00:41:21,999 - If you're talking about what I think you're talking about, 958 00:41:22,702 --> 00:41:24,468 you can't blame me for what that man did. 959 00:41:24,470 --> 00:41:26,570 He was an adult and I was a child. 960 00:41:26,572 --> 00:41:28,372 - You could've done what I did. 961 00:41:28,374 --> 00:41:29,874 You could've said no. 962 00:41:30,409 --> 00:41:32,009 - He... - Yeah, he tried. 963 00:41:32,011 --> 00:41:33,244 Before you. 964 00:41:33,246 --> 00:41:34,612 You're not so special. 965 00:41:34,614 --> 00:41:37,248 You just don't know how to say no. 966 00:41:37,250 --> 00:41:39,383 - I was 12, you cunt. 967 00:41:39,385 --> 00:41:40,584 - So was I. 968 00:42:06,245 --> 00:42:07,244 - This is it. 969 00:42:07,246 --> 00:42:09,079 Initiate launch procedure. 970 00:42:09,081 --> 00:42:11,081 - Ever heard of Apollo 13? 971 00:42:21,661 --> 00:42:22,493 You okay in there? 972 00:42:22,495 --> 00:42:24,628 - Go away, please. 973 00:42:32,038 --> 00:42:34,138 - 'Cause I'm talking to an idiot... 974 00:42:34,140 --> 00:42:34,905 - Oh shit. 975 00:42:34,907 --> 00:42:35,973 I took her to Chinese for lunch. 976 00:42:35,975 --> 00:42:38,509 For a girl who usually eats a fork-full of moo goo 977 00:42:38,511 --> 00:42:39,410 and half a fortune cookie, 978 00:42:39,412 --> 00:42:42,279 she made a pretty decent dent in the menu. 979 00:42:42,281 --> 00:42:43,981 It's the MSG I bet. 980 00:42:44,584 --> 00:42:47,151 Well, whatever it is, we're screwed. 981 00:42:47,153 --> 00:42:49,086 All that hard work for nothing. 982 00:42:49,088 --> 00:42:51,689 Guess she won't be needing you anymore. 983 00:43:04,236 --> 00:43:05,603 What're you doing? 984 00:43:05,605 --> 00:43:09,707 - Taking some advice I got from a bath mitt. 985 00:43:30,262 --> 00:43:31,428 Um. 986 00:43:37,370 --> 00:43:40,704 Believe it or not, I've been in therapy. 987 00:43:42,174 --> 00:43:43,040 Therapy, right? 988 00:43:43,042 --> 00:43:46,844 It's basically paying someone to be your friend. 989 00:43:46,846 --> 00:43:49,313 But with therapy, what you're really paying for 990 00:43:49,315 --> 00:43:52,449 is not for someone to listen to you problems. 991 00:43:52,451 --> 00:43:54,752 No, what you're paying for is so that 992 00:43:54,754 --> 00:43:57,488 you don't have to listen to their shitty problems. 993 00:44:01,293 --> 00:44:03,927 Yeah, I have issues. 994 00:44:04,497 --> 00:44:06,964 The paper bag gave it away, huh? 995 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:08,766 I have cerebral palsy. 996 00:44:08,768 --> 00:44:12,436 Yeah, I'm a full-time spastic. 997 00:44:12,438 --> 00:44:13,404 Not just recreationally. 998 00:44:13,406 --> 00:44:15,406 I don't need beer to walk like this. 999 00:44:15,408 --> 00:44:16,974 This is all me. 1000 00:44:18,611 --> 00:44:20,878 You know, when you got cerebral palsy, 1001 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,013 it's hard to pick up a girl. 1002 00:44:23,015 --> 00:44:25,249 It's hard to pick up a drink. 1003 00:44:26,619 --> 00:44:29,586 I mean, I met this girl, I like her, 1004 00:44:29,588 --> 00:44:31,522 but what do I say? 1005 00:44:31,524 --> 00:44:34,124 I promise I won't try to get in your pants. 1006 00:44:34,126 --> 00:44:37,428 I have enough trouble getting in my own. 1007 00:44:40,266 --> 00:44:42,733 But don't feel bad for me. 1008 00:44:42,735 --> 00:44:43,667 There is an upside. 1009 00:44:43,669 --> 00:44:46,937 Girls like guys they can fix, right? 1010 00:44:47,873 --> 00:44:48,806 So, right her, right? 1011 00:44:48,808 --> 00:44:51,275 This is catnip to the ladies. 1012 00:44:59,251 --> 00:45:00,017 My boss... 1013 00:45:00,019 --> 00:45:01,051 Thank you. 1014 00:45:01,053 --> 00:45:05,989 My boss tells me I also have anger issues. 1015 00:45:11,597 --> 00:45:12,796 - You went on? 1016 00:45:14,734 --> 00:45:15,532 - You don't mind? 1017 00:45:15,534 --> 00:45:17,434 - No, I couldn't be happier. 1018 00:45:17,436 --> 00:45:20,104 - Yeah, well hold that thought. 1019 00:45:20,106 --> 00:45:21,271 You're out. 1020 00:45:21,974 --> 00:45:23,173 He's in. 1021 00:45:23,175 --> 00:45:24,174 He won the heat. 1022 00:45:24,176 --> 00:45:26,076 He's through the next round. 1023 00:45:26,078 --> 00:45:26,977 Who freaking knew? 1024 00:45:26,979 --> 00:45:27,778 - I told you! 1025 00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:28,645 Did I tell you? 1026 00:45:28,647 --> 00:45:29,346 - I'm sorry. 1027 00:45:29,348 --> 00:45:30,280 - No, you did me a favour. 1028 00:45:30,282 --> 00:45:31,882 It was never me, it was you, you know that. 1029 00:45:31,884 --> 00:45:33,951 And now I can spend more time at Mario's. 1030 00:45:33,953 --> 00:45:35,519 - Great, more greasy fingernails. 1031 00:45:35,521 --> 00:45:36,420 Who doesn't find that hot? 1032 00:45:36,422 --> 00:45:38,288 - You're gonna keep going, right? 1033 00:45:38,290 --> 00:45:39,089 - I guess. 1034 00:45:39,091 --> 00:45:40,290 - Yes you are! 1035 00:45:40,626 --> 00:45:42,426 You've got two more rounds, you win those, 1036 00:45:42,428 --> 00:45:43,660 you're in the big show. 1037 00:45:43,662 --> 00:45:44,528 And Mikey will help you. 1038 00:45:44,530 --> 00:45:47,231 - Yeah because Mikey's a freaking prince. 1039 00:45:48,434 --> 00:45:49,900 - Yeah, I might, I might just... 1040 00:45:49,902 --> 00:45:51,135 - Yeah, you do that, champ. 1041 00:45:51,137 --> 00:45:54,371 They want a photo before you go, poster shot. 1042 00:45:56,442 --> 00:45:57,975 - Just like that, perfect. 1043 00:45:58,944 --> 00:46:00,077 One more? 1044 00:46:01,013 --> 00:46:02,079 Okay. 1045 00:46:06,752 --> 00:46:08,285 - I feel rank. 1046 00:46:09,021 --> 00:46:10,287 - Oh, you feel bad now, 1047 00:46:10,289 --> 00:46:12,156 just try having a barium enema. 1048 00:46:12,158 --> 00:46:12,856 - Oh, retard. 1049 00:46:12,858 --> 00:46:15,592 - Oh, we're not gonna do this again, are we? 1050 00:46:15,594 --> 00:46:16,226 - What's up? 1051 00:46:16,228 --> 00:46:17,761 You run out of jokes, have you? 1052 00:46:17,763 --> 00:46:18,395 - No. 1053 00:46:18,397 --> 00:46:19,930 I just don't think it's fair to have a battle of wits 1054 00:46:19,932 --> 00:46:22,132 with an unarmed opponent. 1055 00:46:22,902 --> 00:46:25,502 What does that mean, huh? 1056 00:46:31,811 --> 00:46:32,376 Huh? 1057 00:46:32,378 --> 00:46:33,911 Now that's fucking funny! 1058 00:46:34,747 --> 00:46:35,379 Smartass! 1059 00:46:35,381 --> 00:46:36,380 - Come on, let's not fight, okay? 1060 00:46:36,382 --> 00:46:39,483 - I'm not fighting, Mikey, I'm just not agreeing with you. 1061 00:46:39,485 --> 00:46:40,884 Don't... 1062 00:46:40,886 --> 00:46:41,952 Travis? 1063 00:46:43,522 --> 00:46:45,722 Oh my God, Travis, shit! 1064 00:46:45,724 --> 00:46:48,358 Are you, Travis, are you okay? 1065 00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:49,993 - Rough crowd. 1066 00:46:50,696 --> 00:46:53,230 - Jesus, nice face period, mate. 1067 00:46:53,232 --> 00:46:54,064 I'll call an ambulance. 1068 00:46:54,066 --> 00:46:55,999 - No, no, no, no, no. 1069 00:46:56,001 --> 00:46:56,633 I'm fine. 1070 00:46:56,635 --> 00:46:57,501 - Okay, come on. 1071 00:46:57,503 --> 00:47:00,938 I'm gonna, I'm gonna take you home, okay? 1072 00:47:00,940 --> 00:47:01,638 - You what? 1073 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,941 - I'm gonna, Mikey, I'm gonna take him home. 1074 00:47:03,943 --> 00:47:04,975 Okay? 1075 00:47:04,977 --> 00:47:06,009 - Sunny. 1076 00:47:13,485 --> 00:47:14,852 - Oh. 1077 00:47:14,854 --> 00:47:16,887 - You know you don't have to do that. 1078 00:47:16,889 --> 00:47:18,956 - Well, you don't know me. 1079 00:47:19,725 --> 00:47:21,692 - I'm trying to. 1080 00:47:21,694 --> 00:47:22,559 - It's not that hard. 1081 00:47:22,561 --> 00:47:24,428 Some people would say the real challenge 1082 00:47:24,430 --> 00:47:25,996 is getting me to back off. 1083 00:47:25,998 --> 00:47:27,698 - Some people are fuckwads 1084 00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:33,103 and especially ones with tiny beards and catchphrases. 1085 00:47:33,906 --> 00:47:36,173 - Do you have anything to drink? 1086 00:47:37,776 --> 00:47:38,976 - Yeah. 1087 00:47:38,978 --> 00:47:40,344 Just cans. 1088 00:47:42,915 --> 00:47:46,650 You know, I get the shakes sometimes, 1089 00:47:48,454 --> 00:47:50,287 break bottles 1090 00:47:50,289 --> 00:47:52,623 and chipped a tooth. 1091 00:47:57,429 --> 00:47:58,262 - Well, 1092 00:47:58,264 --> 00:48:00,097 here is 1093 00:48:00,099 --> 00:48:01,965 to following your dreams. 1094 00:48:02,201 --> 00:48:04,334 - To knowing your limitations. 1095 00:48:08,507 --> 00:48:14,544 - Hey, did you mean what you said tonight on stage? 1096 00:48:14,947 --> 00:48:15,879 Uh-oh. 1097 00:48:15,881 --> 00:48:16,647 - No. 1098 00:48:16,649 --> 00:48:18,382 About needing therapy? 1099 00:48:18,384 --> 00:48:21,752 - No, about wanting to say something to a girl 1100 00:48:21,754 --> 00:48:23,253 and not knowing how. 1101 00:48:23,789 --> 00:48:26,523 - Yeah, I'll get over it. 1102 00:48:28,727 --> 00:48:29,793 - Don't. 1103 00:48:34,433 --> 00:48:37,834 - Why did you, why'd you do that? 1104 00:48:39,805 --> 00:48:40,938 - Why not? 1105 00:49:01,627 --> 00:49:03,527 ♪ Come 1106 00:49:03,529 --> 00:49:06,363 ♪ Husk your limbs 1107 00:49:06,365 --> 00:49:11,735 ♪ To my floor 1108 00:49:12,805 --> 00:49:14,838 ♪ Bones 1109 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,741 ♪ Sucking stones 1110 00:49:17,743 --> 00:49:23,213 ♪ Her coming storm 1111 00:49:23,449 --> 00:49:26,216 ♪ Under the lights you went 1112 00:49:26,218 --> 00:49:31,788 ♪ Chemical ashes head down 1113 00:49:34,626 --> 00:49:37,361 ♪ Heart on a diamond thread 1114 00:49:37,363 --> 00:49:43,000 ♪ Fennel and lashes wet down 1115 00:49:46,605 --> 00:49:51,174 ♪ Young star, haunted lynx 1116 00:49:51,176 --> 00:49:56,580 ♪ Ring of sliver 1117 00:49:58,050 --> 00:50:02,085 ♪ I want your bones 1118 00:50:02,087 --> 00:50:07,591 ♪ Inside my bones 1119 00:50:09,361 --> 00:50:11,762 ♪ Ooo 1120 00:50:11,764 --> 00:50:14,831 ♪ Oooooo 1121 00:50:14,833 --> 00:50:17,200 ♪ Oooooo 1122 00:50:25,944 --> 00:50:27,010 - Mikey? 1123 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:29,080 - Yep. 1124 00:50:32,317 --> 00:50:33,383 - So, 1125 00:50:33,986 --> 00:50:35,786 what're you gonna do now? 1126 00:50:37,856 --> 00:50:39,523 - I'm not exactly sure. 1127 00:50:41,293 --> 00:50:43,427 I'm gonna have to talk to him. 1128 00:50:45,731 --> 00:50:47,397 I need you to trust me. 1129 00:50:57,309 --> 00:50:58,508 Can you do that? 1130 00:51:16,862 --> 00:51:17,994 What's this? 1131 00:51:23,102 --> 00:51:24,334 - It's trust. 1132 00:51:31,143 --> 00:51:33,877 This is gotta be the best idea you ever had. 1133 00:51:37,282 --> 00:51:38,482 Left turn coming up. 1134 00:51:38,484 --> 00:51:40,884 In three, two, one, turn. 1135 00:51:45,791 --> 00:51:48,592 - So you're gonna be like famous now. 1136 00:51:48,594 --> 00:51:49,626 On TV? 1137 00:51:49,995 --> 00:51:52,329 You're gonna be like a poon tang magnet. 1138 00:51:52,331 --> 00:51:52,929 - No. 1139 00:51:52,931 --> 00:51:54,231 It's just a contest. 1140 00:51:54,233 --> 00:51:56,333 And there's two more heats. 1141 00:51:56,335 --> 00:51:57,200 - Which if you win. 1142 00:51:57,202 --> 00:51:59,503 - Then I'm in the showcase. 1143 00:51:59,505 --> 00:52:01,972 That, that's televised. 1144 00:52:01,974 --> 00:52:03,640 - And that's exciting, right? 1145 00:52:03,642 --> 00:52:04,441 For you? 1146 00:52:04,443 --> 00:52:05,475 - Yeah. 1147 00:52:05,477 --> 00:52:06,243 - I don't get TV. 1148 00:52:06,245 --> 00:52:08,979 To me it's just an expensive fucking radio. 1149 00:52:10,082 --> 00:52:10,981 But seriously though, 1150 00:52:10,983 --> 00:52:13,950 I can't focus on driving when I smell on you like... 1151 00:52:16,021 --> 00:52:17,988 ripe peaches and, and... 1152 00:52:19,892 --> 00:52:20,857 fresh sex. 1153 00:52:20,859 --> 00:52:21,558 - Oh, God. 1154 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,493 - Oh, someone should market that as a breakfast cereal. 1155 00:52:23,495 --> 00:52:26,730 Like, Snatch Krispies or... 1156 00:52:26,732 --> 00:52:27,464 Pussy Puffs! 1157 00:52:27,466 --> 00:52:29,533 - Dude, you're a bad person, you know that, right? 1158 00:52:29,535 --> 00:52:32,235 And, you just missed our turn. 1159 00:52:32,237 --> 00:52:33,303 - So what? 1160 00:52:33,305 --> 00:52:34,938 I'm not in control. 1161 00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:36,640 You're not in control. 1162 00:52:36,642 --> 00:52:37,574 No one is. 1163 00:52:37,576 --> 00:52:39,042 It's an illusion. 1164 00:52:39,044 --> 00:52:41,044 You have to learn to go with it. 1165 00:52:41,046 --> 00:52:42,646 But like I always say, 1166 00:52:42,648 --> 00:52:43,880 trust in the universe 1167 00:52:43,882 --> 00:52:45,722 and then the good things will happen. 1168 00:52:46,485 --> 00:52:49,619 - For the record, I never say that. 1169 00:52:49,621 --> 00:52:52,189 I'm blind, I'm not stupid. 1170 00:52:52,191 --> 00:52:53,957 I don't believe in happy endings. 1171 00:52:53,959 --> 00:52:57,227 - You're making the biggest mistake of your life. 1172 00:52:57,229 --> 00:52:58,061 This is so you. 1173 00:52:58,063 --> 00:52:59,296 - What does that supposed to mean? 1174 00:52:59,298 --> 00:53:01,831 - Oh look, a stray dog is so cute, can I keep it? 1175 00:53:01,833 --> 00:53:02,732 - How fucking dare you. 1176 00:53:02,734 --> 00:53:04,000 - No, how fucking dare you! 1177 00:53:04,002 --> 00:53:05,602 - Bella, you want me to do something? 1178 00:53:05,604 --> 00:53:07,837 - Hey, butt out, old man! 1179 00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:09,606 I'm not joking. 1180 00:53:09,608 --> 00:53:11,074 - Fine, Mario, I'm fine. 1181 00:53:11,076 --> 00:53:12,142 This is not the place, okay. 1182 00:53:12,144 --> 00:53:13,076 We can finish this... 1183 00:53:13,078 --> 00:53:14,844 - No, we're finished! 1184 00:53:15,047 --> 00:53:16,513 I'll see you in a few days when you realise 1185 00:53:16,515 --> 00:53:19,449 what a massive fucking mistake you've made. 1186 00:53:19,451 --> 00:53:20,984 This is real life, 1187 00:53:20,986 --> 00:53:23,286 not some cutesy fairytale. 1188 00:53:23,555 --> 00:53:27,424 You kiss a frog, in the morning it's still gonna be a frog. 1189 00:53:47,613 --> 00:53:48,178 - Hey. 1190 00:53:48,180 --> 00:53:49,746 - You gonna invite us in? 1191 00:53:50,082 --> 00:53:52,549 - Why don't we take her for a spin? 1192 00:53:52,551 --> 00:53:53,250 - Like this? 1193 00:53:53,252 --> 00:53:56,253 - Yeah, I mean, she should run fine. 1194 00:53:57,723 --> 00:53:58,655 Let's go. 1195 00:53:58,657 --> 00:53:59,856 - Okay. 1196 00:54:03,195 --> 00:54:04,195 - Hey. 1197 00:54:05,597 --> 00:54:07,564 You look after her, okay? 1198 00:54:08,033 --> 00:54:09,432 - I'm not driving. 1199 00:54:09,434 --> 00:54:10,634 - Not the car. 1200 00:54:11,069 --> 00:54:12,569 Don't be an asshole. 1201 00:54:12,571 --> 00:54:14,871 She don't need another asshole. 1202 00:54:14,873 --> 00:54:16,906 - Okay. 1203 00:54:16,908 --> 00:54:18,541 - Okay. 1204 00:54:38,730 --> 00:54:40,964 - Trav, are you gonna rap or what? 1205 00:54:40,966 --> 00:54:42,265 Come on, Trav. 1206 00:54:42,267 --> 00:54:43,867 - This is everyday. 1207 00:54:51,943 --> 00:54:53,677 - Oh! 1208 00:54:53,679 --> 00:54:54,778 Queen! 1209 00:54:54,780 --> 00:54:56,813 - Here you go, bro. 1210 00:54:59,851 --> 00:55:03,753 - You're just going in circles! 1211 00:55:03,755 --> 00:55:05,055 - Yay! - Yeah! 1212 00:55:05,057 --> 00:55:06,690 - Yes! 1213 00:55:07,826 --> 00:55:11,227 - You look like a praying mantis on crack! 1214 00:55:57,676 --> 00:56:01,077 Oh my God, Mario, it's beautiful. 1215 00:56:01,079 --> 00:56:02,812 Let's put the windshield on. 1216 00:56:02,814 --> 00:56:04,647 Let's finish this. 1217 00:56:05,350 --> 00:56:06,816 Hey. 1218 00:56:06,818 --> 00:56:07,484 Mario. 1219 00:56:07,486 --> 00:56:10,720 Old man, it's a little early for a siesta, isn't it? 1220 00:56:10,722 --> 00:56:11,821 Mario? 1221 00:56:16,595 --> 00:56:17,660 Mario. 1222 00:56:18,463 --> 00:56:20,130 - Il mio cuore. 1223 00:56:35,580 --> 00:56:37,213 - You're gonna be okay. 1224 00:56:37,215 --> 00:56:37,981 - Sorry, Bella. 1225 00:56:37,983 --> 00:56:38,982 - No don't need to be. 1226 00:56:38,984 --> 00:56:41,084 - I'm just a useless old man 1227 00:56:42,888 --> 00:56:44,954 who can't look after you. 1228 00:56:54,666 --> 00:56:57,033 - Oh, come on, people. 1229 00:57:01,907 --> 00:57:05,508 - Hey, Travis, can you call me? 1230 00:57:06,611 --> 00:57:09,212 There's something I need to tell you. 1231 00:57:09,214 --> 00:57:11,381 Actually, don't call. 1232 00:57:11,383 --> 00:57:14,617 I should tell you in person. 1233 00:57:22,694 --> 00:57:23,760 - Hey. 1234 00:57:43,682 --> 00:57:45,215 - Oh. 1235 00:57:45,217 --> 00:57:46,249 You. 1236 00:57:46,251 --> 00:57:47,884 - Yep. 1237 00:57:48,186 --> 00:57:50,453 - You think I don't know what's going on? 1238 00:57:50,455 --> 00:57:52,722 - You think I care what you know? 1239 00:57:52,724 --> 00:57:53,490 - You should. 1240 00:57:53,492 --> 00:57:56,559 She's a student at the school where you work. 1241 00:57:58,230 --> 00:57:58,928 Oh, 1242 00:57:58,930 --> 00:58:00,497 so you do care. 1243 00:58:00,799 --> 00:58:02,732 - You know, I didn't come here to play games. 1244 00:58:02,734 --> 00:58:05,034 Sunny needs to tell me something. 1245 00:58:13,612 --> 00:58:16,212 - What did you think was gonna happen? 1246 00:58:17,382 --> 00:58:19,382 That she'd end up with you? 1247 00:58:22,921 --> 00:58:23,953 Oh. 1248 00:58:35,267 --> 00:58:36,699 Life tries to show us 1249 00:58:36,701 --> 00:58:38,334 what we need to see 1250 00:58:38,336 --> 00:58:40,703 but it's never completely clear. 1251 00:58:42,207 --> 00:58:45,241 It's hard to look at yourself objectively. 1252 00:58:49,114 --> 00:58:53,449 And what you see depends on what you're willing to believe. 1253 00:58:54,019 --> 00:58:55,118 - All right. 1254 00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:56,352 All right, all right, all right, all right. 1255 00:58:56,354 --> 00:58:59,756 This next guy is competing for a slot in the closing night 1256 00:58:59,758 --> 00:59:01,157 of the "Bring the Funny" showcase. 1257 00:59:01,159 --> 00:59:03,226 I want you to go absolutely nuts for our next contestant. 1258 00:59:03,228 --> 00:59:05,161 Give it up for a very funny guy, 1259 00:59:05,163 --> 00:59:06,396 Mysterious Bag Man. 1260 00:59:06,398 --> 00:59:07,830 Yes! 1261 00:59:08,633 --> 00:59:12,635 - You know, I had this girlfriend, it didn't work out. 1262 00:59:12,637 --> 00:59:13,637 She left me. 1263 00:59:14,773 --> 00:59:18,641 She said, I can never tell what you're thinking. 1264 00:59:18,643 --> 00:59:20,743 I'm like, what do you want? 1265 00:59:20,745 --> 00:59:23,012 This is the only expression I can draw. 1266 00:59:36,795 --> 00:59:42,198 I'd kiss her and she'd complain about paper cuts. 1267 00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:42,966 When we made love, 1268 00:59:42,968 --> 00:59:46,002 she said it was like humping a Happy Meal. 1269 00:59:58,516 --> 01:00:00,083 The whole time it's all about 1270 01:00:00,085 --> 01:00:02,485 what she wants, what she needs. 1271 01:00:02,487 --> 01:00:05,021 Banging on my door day and night. 1272 01:00:05,423 --> 01:00:07,824 Eventually, I had to let her out. 1273 01:00:33,418 --> 01:00:35,184 - Come back out here, dude, come on! 1274 01:00:35,186 --> 01:00:36,786 Very good, now... 1275 01:00:36,788 --> 01:00:38,287 So you just won your way through to the final round, 1276 01:00:38,289 --> 01:00:40,556 a shot at the big time, how's it feel? 1277 01:00:40,558 --> 01:00:41,758 How's it feel? 1278 01:00:43,161 --> 01:00:43,960 - Kinda dirty. 1279 01:00:43,962 --> 01:00:45,128 - Oh, okay. 1280 01:00:45,130 --> 01:00:47,697 Guys, give it up for this guy one more time. 1281 01:00:47,699 --> 01:00:49,632 Mysterious Bag Man. 1282 01:00:49,634 --> 01:00:50,233 Huh? 1283 01:00:50,235 --> 01:00:52,535 Thanks for coming out! 1284 01:01:45,557 --> 01:01:46,622 - Hey. 1285 01:01:48,393 --> 01:01:49,425 Busted. 1286 01:01:54,432 --> 01:01:55,898 - What're you doing here? 1287 01:01:55,900 --> 01:01:59,168 - I was just looking for some paper and... 1288 01:01:59,170 --> 01:01:59,902 I... 1289 01:01:59,904 --> 01:02:02,105 - Who said you could look at that? 1290 01:02:02,107 --> 01:02:04,540 - Travis, is this you? 1291 01:02:04,542 --> 01:02:07,376 - I said, that's private. 1292 01:02:08,379 --> 01:02:09,779 - Sorry, I just... 1293 01:02:09,781 --> 01:02:10,913 I wanted to pop... 1294 01:02:10,915 --> 01:02:11,981 - You know, 1295 01:02:11,983 --> 01:02:12,849 you just... 1296 01:02:12,851 --> 01:02:15,184 you just can't barge in and out of people's lives 1297 01:02:15,186 --> 01:02:16,419 whenever you feel like it! 1298 01:02:16,421 --> 01:02:20,356 - Wow, okay, that's not what's happening here, Travis. 1299 01:02:20,959 --> 01:02:21,824 I tried to call you. 1300 01:02:21,826 --> 01:02:25,728 There's something I need to tell you. 1301 01:02:26,297 --> 01:02:28,030 - Yeah, I know. 1302 01:02:28,032 --> 01:02:30,833 What makes you think I fucking care? 1303 01:02:34,506 --> 01:02:38,741 - I don't know what happened to make you like this 1304 01:02:39,077 --> 01:02:40,276 but it wasn't me, okay? 1305 01:02:40,278 --> 01:02:42,078 I didn't do this! 1306 01:02:42,781 --> 01:02:43,913 - Get out! 1307 01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:19,849 ♪ Was our love 1308 01:03:19,851 --> 01:03:24,420 ♪ Just a song 1309 01:03:24,422 --> 01:03:27,423 ♪ I went to bed 1310 01:03:27,425 --> 01:03:32,161 ♪ Thinking everything was wrong ♪ 1311 01:03:36,701 --> 01:03:38,267 - Travis. 1312 01:03:38,269 --> 01:03:39,969 We need to talk. 1313 01:03:41,239 --> 01:03:42,271 Now! 1314 01:03:42,607 --> 01:03:45,408 Now you told me that you were gonna talk to somebody 1315 01:03:45,410 --> 01:03:47,109 about your issues. 1316 01:03:47,946 --> 01:03:49,011 - I've been talking 1317 01:03:49,013 --> 01:03:51,080 to a lot of people. - Well, we both know 1318 01:03:51,082 --> 01:03:53,883 that this is not what I meant. 1319 01:03:55,119 --> 01:03:58,621 How many second chances do you think I'm gonna give you? 1320 01:03:58,623 --> 01:03:59,856 - Technically just one. 1321 01:03:59,858 --> 01:04:02,625 After that would be a third and fourth and... 1322 01:04:02,627 --> 01:04:05,962 - You have been accused of getting students drunk 1323 01:04:05,964 --> 01:04:08,664 in the toilets after hours. 1324 01:04:08,666 --> 01:04:10,466 - Student, just one. 1325 01:04:10,468 --> 01:04:11,868 I thought I'd start slow and work my way up. 1326 01:04:11,870 --> 01:04:14,403 - Of trying to run over a student? 1327 01:04:14,405 --> 01:04:19,408 Of making sexual advances with a student? 1328 01:04:19,410 --> 01:04:22,111 - They started it and she kissed me. 1329 01:04:22,113 --> 01:04:23,212 - The girl's sister told me 1330 01:04:23,214 --> 01:04:26,182 that she's been spending nights in your apartment. 1331 01:04:26,184 --> 01:04:27,383 Is that true? 1332 01:04:29,687 --> 01:04:31,087 - Well, not anymore. 1333 01:04:31,089 --> 01:04:32,955 So everybody happy now? 1334 01:04:41,532 --> 01:04:42,498 Gordo, can we talk? 1335 01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:44,967 - Hey, Trav, long time no see, man! 1336 01:04:44,969 --> 01:04:46,168 Oh, well, ever. 1337 01:04:46,170 --> 01:04:47,069 - Yeah, ha. - Really but... 1338 01:04:47,071 --> 01:04:48,070 - Yo, can you stop playing that, 1339 01:04:48,072 --> 01:04:49,305 I need to tell you something. 1340 01:04:49,307 --> 01:04:50,306 - Yeah, so tell me. 1341 01:04:50,308 --> 01:04:53,109 - Not why you're playing that stupid goddamn song. 1342 01:04:53,111 --> 01:04:54,111 - Fine. 1343 01:04:54,812 --> 01:04:56,679 - I said stop it, all right! 1344 01:04:58,783 --> 01:04:59,582 - What the fuck? 1345 01:04:59,584 --> 01:05:02,051 What was that for? 1346 01:05:02,053 --> 01:05:03,920 - Shit, man, I... 1347 01:05:03,922 --> 01:05:05,454 Here, I'm sorry. 1348 01:05:16,501 --> 01:05:18,134 Just say something. 1349 01:05:18,136 --> 01:05:19,135 She went back to him. 1350 01:05:19,137 --> 01:05:22,071 - Well what did you expect, you asshole? 1351 01:05:22,073 --> 01:05:24,040 - What, because I'm like this? 1352 01:05:24,042 --> 01:05:24,840 - No. 1353 01:05:24,842 --> 01:05:27,743 Because you're such a fucking Nancy Hofstetter! 1354 01:05:27,745 --> 01:05:28,878 - A what? 1355 01:05:29,314 --> 01:05:30,346 - Nancy Hofstetter, man. 1356 01:05:30,348 --> 01:05:32,281 She's a girl I knew in high school. 1357 01:05:32,283 --> 01:05:36,252 She wanted me to fuck her but not put it in all the way. 1358 01:05:36,254 --> 01:05:37,586 Just the tip. 1359 01:05:37,588 --> 01:05:38,788 But that's you! 1360 01:05:39,090 --> 01:05:41,257 - I don't want you to fuck me with any... 1361 01:05:41,259 --> 01:05:43,025 - Not me, fool! 1362 01:05:43,027 --> 01:05:44,093 Life! 1363 01:05:44,462 --> 01:05:46,629 You want life but you won't let it in 1364 01:05:46,631 --> 01:05:49,131 in all its throbbing, meaty glory. 1365 01:05:49,133 --> 01:05:52,068 You want life to fuck you but with just the tip 1366 01:05:52,070 --> 01:05:53,602 and that's bullshit, my friend. 1367 01:05:53,604 --> 01:05:58,107 You gotta let life stick it to you all the way, ball deep! 1368 01:05:58,109 --> 01:06:01,243 You gotta deep throat the whole fucking catastrophe, 1369 01:06:01,245 --> 01:06:02,078 swallow and smile, 1370 01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:05,481 because what's life without the fucking money shot? 1371 01:06:05,483 --> 01:06:07,283 It's all just meaningless foreplay 1372 01:06:07,285 --> 01:06:09,885 and you end up jacking off. 1373 01:06:09,887 --> 01:06:11,087 Alone. 1374 01:06:28,406 --> 01:06:29,572 When you hit that point 1375 01:06:29,574 --> 01:06:32,908 at which everything seems at its crappest... 1376 01:06:33,511 --> 01:06:34,543 - Sorry. - Sorry. 1377 01:06:34,545 --> 01:06:35,778 - You might just find that 1378 01:06:35,780 --> 01:06:38,247 breaking your ukulele can be the best thing 1379 01:06:38,249 --> 01:06:40,082 that ever happened to you. 1380 01:06:40,084 --> 01:06:40,950 - My fault. 1381 01:06:40,952 --> 01:06:42,284 - Oh no, my fault. 1382 01:06:42,286 --> 01:06:43,486 What was that? 1383 01:06:44,155 --> 01:06:45,454 - My ukulele. 1384 01:06:45,456 --> 01:06:47,056 It was shattered already. 1385 01:06:47,058 --> 01:06:47,890 - Aw. 1386 01:06:47,892 --> 01:06:48,958 - Yours? 1387 01:06:51,062 --> 01:06:52,428 - I'm all good. 1388 01:06:52,430 --> 01:06:54,196 - Well, sorry. 1389 01:06:54,198 --> 01:06:56,632 - Happens to me all the time. 1390 01:06:56,634 --> 01:06:58,367 - Yeah, same. 1391 01:07:05,543 --> 01:07:06,675 I'm Gordo. 1392 01:07:07,345 --> 01:07:08,744 - Eve. 1393 01:07:08,746 --> 01:07:11,213 - Nice to meet you, Eve. 1394 01:07:16,287 --> 01:07:19,388 - And you are listening to all the nonstop hits 1395 01:07:19,390 --> 01:07:20,289 with Mikey and Sunny 1396 01:07:20,291 --> 01:07:22,725 and when we're back we'll be taking some calls. 1397 01:07:22,727 --> 01:07:24,727 What's on the agenda today, Mikey? 1398 01:07:24,729 --> 01:07:26,462 - Well, girls, I wanna hear 1399 01:07:26,464 --> 01:07:29,565 about the wrongest guy you've ever dated. 1400 01:07:30,368 --> 01:07:31,567 Let's start with you, Sunny. 1401 01:07:31,569 --> 01:07:33,302 Who's your wrongest guy? 1402 01:07:34,105 --> 01:07:35,571 - Uh. 1403 01:07:35,573 --> 01:07:36,605 Em. 1404 01:07:36,974 --> 01:07:39,909 Why don't we go to a song while I think about that? 1405 01:07:54,592 --> 01:07:56,459 - Babe, this is what we signed on for. 1406 01:07:56,461 --> 01:07:58,260 You've got your face on a thousand buses. 1407 01:07:58,262 --> 01:08:01,230 - Oh wow, eat your heart out, Helen of Troy. 1408 01:08:01,232 --> 01:08:02,264 - What more do you want? 1409 01:08:02,266 --> 01:08:03,299 - I don't want that. 1410 01:08:03,301 --> 01:08:04,166 I don't want you to... 1411 01:08:04,168 --> 01:08:05,501 - Oh, come on, don't flake out on me now. 1412 01:08:05,503 --> 01:08:06,902 Stick with the programme. 1413 01:08:06,904 --> 01:08:07,870 Smile in the voice. 1414 01:08:07,872 --> 01:08:09,538 They can hear it, okay? 1415 01:08:10,141 --> 01:08:14,910 And we are back with Mikey and Sunny in the morning. 1416 01:08:14,912 --> 01:08:15,711 Keeping it real. 1417 01:08:15,713 --> 01:08:18,414 First up, we have our next caller. 1418 01:08:26,858 --> 01:08:27,590 - Thank you. 1419 01:08:27,592 --> 01:08:30,659 When we return, the moment you've all been waiting for. 1420 01:08:30,661 --> 01:08:32,361 The "Hunger Games" of funny. 1421 01:08:32,363 --> 01:08:34,230 The final winner-takes-it-all round 1422 01:08:34,232 --> 01:08:37,166 of the BTF unsigned open mic competition. 1423 01:08:54,585 --> 01:08:56,152 - Travis. 1424 01:08:56,154 --> 01:08:57,419 Aren't you doing well? 1425 01:08:57,421 --> 01:08:58,754 It's great to see you, man. 1426 01:08:58,756 --> 01:09:00,222 It's great to see you. 1427 01:09:00,224 --> 01:09:02,258 - Mikey, on in five. 1428 01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:03,926 - All right, well I'll leave you kids to catch up. 1429 01:09:03,928 --> 01:09:06,829 You've got plenty to talk about, no doubt. 1430 01:09:10,601 --> 01:09:11,734 - Hey. 1431 01:09:16,007 --> 01:09:18,207 - I heard you on the radio. 1432 01:09:18,209 --> 01:09:19,775 - What did you think? 1433 01:09:21,279 --> 01:09:23,212 - You have to ask? 1434 01:09:25,283 --> 01:09:26,549 - Money's good. 1435 01:09:27,518 --> 01:09:28,717 - Yeah, I bet. 1436 01:09:29,754 --> 01:09:30,786 - Well, 1437 01:09:31,889 --> 01:09:34,523 good luck out there. 1438 01:09:40,331 --> 01:09:41,130 - So I've gotta go. 1439 01:09:41,132 --> 01:09:42,665 There's a girl waiting for me backstage 1440 01:09:42,667 --> 01:09:45,601 with a monkey wrench and a grease gun. 1441 01:09:45,603 --> 01:09:46,769 - Yeah! 1442 01:09:46,771 --> 01:09:51,140 The lesbolicious Rebecca Talay, ladies and gentlemen! 1443 01:09:51,142 --> 01:09:51,707 Yeah! 1444 01:09:51,709 --> 01:09:54,076 All right, our next contestant is also bent 1445 01:09:54,078 --> 01:09:56,412 but not sexually, he's just plain bent. 1446 01:09:56,414 --> 01:09:59,748 Welcome to the stage, the Mysterious Bag Man. 1447 01:10:03,020 --> 01:10:05,054 Now I love Bag Man, we've shared a lot, 1448 01:10:05,056 --> 01:10:07,690 but I should warn you, he's an angry young dude 1449 01:10:07,692 --> 01:10:08,490 and why shouldn't he be? 1450 01:10:08,492 --> 01:10:09,458 He's got cerebral palsy? 1451 01:10:09,460 --> 01:10:12,261 No, that's not just a bad hangover. 1452 01:10:12,663 --> 01:10:15,064 Now, he's just come here straight from therapy. 1453 01:10:15,066 --> 01:10:16,031 Therapy, what is that? 1454 01:10:16,033 --> 01:10:17,700 Is that just paying someone to be your friend? 1455 01:10:17,702 --> 01:10:18,734 With therapy, 1456 01:10:18,736 --> 01:10:19,868 what're you paying for, really? 1457 01:10:19,870 --> 01:10:22,404 Are you paying for someone to listen to your problems 1458 01:10:22,406 --> 01:10:25,574 or are you paying so you don't have to listen to theirs? 1459 01:10:25,576 --> 01:10:26,576 You tell me. 1460 01:10:27,144 --> 01:10:28,611 - What do you think you're doing? 1461 01:10:28,613 --> 01:10:30,379 - What, you don't like those jokes? 1462 01:10:30,381 --> 01:10:31,814 - Yeah, they're great. 1463 01:10:31,816 --> 01:10:33,682 I know because I wrote them. 1464 01:10:33,684 --> 01:10:36,285 - Yeah, for me, I paid you actually. 1465 01:10:36,287 --> 01:10:39,088 Awkward. 1466 01:10:39,090 --> 01:10:40,256 - Well then, 1467 01:10:41,592 --> 01:10:45,894 I guess I can't do this one or this one 1468 01:10:45,896 --> 01:10:47,162 or this one! 1469 01:10:47,164 --> 01:10:48,931 Or these! 1470 01:10:48,933 --> 01:10:49,999 Screw it! 1471 01:10:50,635 --> 01:10:52,735 You know, congratulations. 1472 01:10:53,638 --> 01:10:54,703 You win. 1473 01:10:55,306 --> 01:10:56,705 Don't you have enough already? 1474 01:10:56,707 --> 01:10:58,607 And now you want this too? 1475 01:10:58,609 --> 01:11:00,709 - Come on, man, surely you got something else. 1476 01:11:00,711 --> 01:11:02,378 What about one of those fun stories 1477 01:11:02,380 --> 01:11:05,281 about what an angry dude you are? 1478 01:11:05,283 --> 01:11:06,348 No? 1479 01:11:06,350 --> 01:11:07,049 Awkward. 1480 01:11:07,051 --> 01:11:09,351 Okay, folks, we might just take a little break. 1481 01:11:09,353 --> 01:11:11,620 - You know, wait, 1482 01:11:11,622 --> 01:11:12,688 sure. 1483 01:11:13,491 --> 01:11:14,623 All right. 1484 01:11:14,959 --> 01:11:17,626 Here's a story, just for you. 1485 01:11:18,562 --> 01:11:21,964 It's about a kid, three years old, 1486 01:11:21,966 --> 01:11:24,333 loved playing in the rain with his dog. 1487 01:11:24,335 --> 01:11:26,869 - I hope it's got a good punchline. 1488 01:11:28,406 --> 01:11:34,276 - So this kid is out playing in the rain, 1489 01:11:34,779 --> 01:11:37,413 jumping from puddle to puddle with his dog 1490 01:11:37,415 --> 01:11:38,747 and he lives in this old house 1491 01:11:38,749 --> 01:11:42,618 with like a million stairs going all the way up to the door. 1492 01:11:42,620 --> 01:11:45,287 And they run inside, dripping wet. 1493 01:11:45,656 --> 01:11:48,023 Puddles all over the floor. 1494 01:11:48,459 --> 01:11:50,592 The dog, he runs up to the kid's dad 1495 01:11:50,594 --> 01:11:54,830 sitting in his favourite chair watching TV. 1496 01:11:56,634 --> 01:11:58,634 And just shakes. 1497 01:12:01,038 --> 01:12:02,738 As dogs do. 1498 01:12:05,543 --> 01:12:06,241 And this dad, 1499 01:12:06,243 --> 01:12:09,078 he's got a bit of a temper. 1500 01:12:09,980 --> 01:12:11,880 Yeah, a bit of a temper. 1501 01:12:13,084 --> 01:12:14,883 And he grabs the dog 1502 01:12:15,686 --> 01:12:17,920 and he throws it out into the rain, 1503 01:12:17,922 --> 01:12:20,756 down the stairs. 1504 01:12:21,492 --> 01:12:24,293 The kid is upset. 1505 01:12:25,096 --> 01:12:26,995 Starts hitting the dad. 1506 01:12:27,298 --> 01:12:30,699 Maybe he's inherited a bit of his anger. 1507 01:12:32,370 --> 01:12:35,270 So the dad picks up the little boy, 1508 01:12:35,539 --> 01:12:38,974 he picks him up and he throws him out too. 1509 01:12:38,976 --> 01:12:41,310 Down the stairs, out into the rain. 1510 01:12:41,312 --> 01:12:44,313 Breaks his arm, bone sticking out. 1511 01:12:44,315 --> 01:12:46,315 Fractures his vertebrae, 1512 01:12:46,317 --> 01:12:47,716 cracks his skull. 1513 01:12:47,718 --> 01:12:49,718 The mom, the mom sees this, 1514 01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:53,522 she sees this and she tries to help the little boy. 1515 01:12:53,858 --> 01:12:55,858 But the dad, he stops her. 1516 01:12:55,860 --> 01:12:58,327 He makes her go back inside 1517 01:12:58,329 --> 01:13:01,130 because it's raining after all. 1518 01:13:04,001 --> 01:13:05,834 So here's this boy, 1519 01:13:06,370 --> 01:13:07,369 lying in the mud, 1520 01:13:07,371 --> 01:13:10,939 brain bleeding on the inside of his head, 1521 01:13:11,976 --> 01:13:13,208 he could die. 1522 01:13:14,779 --> 01:13:16,478 But he's not that lucky. 1523 01:13:16,881 --> 01:13:20,082 He gets to live with brain damage 1524 01:13:20,084 --> 01:13:21,984 in steel bolts and crews 1525 01:13:21,986 --> 01:13:27,122 and tests and scans and operations and... 1526 01:13:27,124 --> 01:13:28,457 and pain. 1527 01:13:30,694 --> 01:13:34,129 And nobody wanting to play with him 1528 01:13:34,131 --> 01:13:35,898 because he can't keep up 1529 01:13:37,535 --> 01:13:39,234 and he's a freak. 1530 01:13:43,174 --> 01:13:46,008 And he will spend the rest of his life 1531 01:13:46,010 --> 01:13:49,077 scaring off anybody who gets too close 1532 01:13:49,447 --> 01:13:53,482 so he can pretend that's what he wants. 1533 01:13:59,123 --> 01:14:01,590 - Okay, we might just leave it there. 1534 01:14:01,592 --> 01:14:02,424 - You know that saying, 1535 01:14:02,426 --> 01:14:04,293 when they made him they broke the mould? 1536 01:14:04,295 --> 01:14:08,897 Well I'm the guy they made after him with a broken mould. 1537 01:14:09,233 --> 01:14:14,336 And that's why I get to tell these jokes and you don't! 1538 01:14:14,738 --> 01:14:17,973 You know, yeah, I've been to therapy. 1539 01:14:17,975 --> 01:14:20,142 They say I have anger problems. 1540 01:14:20,144 --> 01:14:22,811 Well I don't actually think I have a problem. 1541 01:14:22,813 --> 01:14:24,379 I think it's this guy who's about to have 1542 01:14:24,381 --> 01:14:26,482 this microphone stand jammed up his ass 1543 01:14:26,484 --> 01:14:28,217 who's go the problem! 1544 01:14:28,486 --> 01:14:30,853 So is that enough of a punchline for you, fuck face? 1545 01:14:30,855 --> 01:14:32,020 You tell me! 1546 01:14:36,293 --> 01:14:36,925 Ugh, see? 1547 01:14:36,927 --> 01:14:39,161 I don't need a girl to knock me off my feet, 1548 01:14:39,163 --> 01:14:40,662 I can do it all by myself. 1549 01:14:40,664 --> 01:14:41,663 - Hey, come on. 1550 01:14:41,665 --> 01:14:42,665 - Fuck off! 1551 01:14:43,534 --> 01:14:44,466 Back off! 1552 01:14:44,468 --> 01:14:45,734 I don't need you! 1553 01:14:45,736 --> 01:14:47,102 I don't need anyone! 1554 01:15:13,330 --> 01:15:14,897 - Go have another beer, freak! 1555 01:15:14,899 --> 01:15:16,632 - This guy's off his tits. 1556 01:15:16,634 --> 01:15:17,933 - Ugh, he's trying to grope me! 1557 01:15:17,935 --> 01:15:21,837 - Hey, what're you doing grabbing her, buddy? 1558 01:15:21,839 --> 01:15:22,504 Woo! 1559 01:15:22,506 --> 01:15:23,939 Hit the pole. 1560 01:15:25,175 --> 01:15:27,042 Oi, he's taking a spill! 1561 01:15:27,044 --> 01:15:28,343 - Hey, stop it! 1562 01:15:28,345 --> 01:15:29,378 Piss off, you animals! 1563 01:15:29,380 --> 01:15:31,380 What're you staring at, leave him alone! 1564 01:15:31,382 --> 01:15:32,648 - All right, then. - Oh my God. 1565 01:15:32,650 --> 01:15:34,883 - Hey, Travis, it's Sunny. 1566 01:15:34,885 --> 01:15:36,151 It's okay, you're okay. 1567 01:15:36,153 --> 01:15:37,886 You're okay, you're okay. 1568 01:15:40,057 --> 01:15:40,989 Get off! 1569 01:15:40,991 --> 01:15:42,357 - I'm just calling an ambulance. 1570 01:15:42,359 --> 01:15:44,793 - Please, tell them to hurry. - Ambulance. 1571 01:15:44,795 --> 01:15:46,028 - Are you Dame Edna? 1572 01:15:46,030 --> 01:15:46,828 - Not at the moment. 1573 01:15:46,830 --> 01:15:48,463 We've got a crisis here. 1574 01:15:48,465 --> 01:15:50,632 - Give me that, give me it. 1575 01:15:50,634 --> 01:15:51,934 Yes. - Can I have your photo? 1576 01:15:51,936 --> 01:15:54,369 - We're on the corner of Bray and King's Street. 1577 01:15:54,371 --> 01:15:56,705 Please hurry. 1578 01:15:58,976 --> 01:16:00,075 - Is he okay? - He's calming down. 1579 01:16:00,077 --> 01:16:01,743 - I think so. 1580 01:16:01,745 --> 01:16:02,511 - Yeah, yeah. 1581 01:16:02,513 --> 01:16:06,748 - What that bastard did was unacceptable. 1582 01:16:34,211 --> 01:16:35,911 - Thanks for checking on me. 1583 01:16:35,913 --> 01:16:38,680 - Well, you gave us all quite a scare. 1584 01:16:38,682 --> 01:16:39,381 - Yeah. 1585 01:16:39,383 --> 01:16:41,984 - You know, I shouldn't have been so hard lined. 1586 01:16:41,986 --> 01:16:44,219 It's your life after all. 1587 01:16:44,922 --> 01:16:46,855 - Yeah, sad but true. 1588 01:16:46,857 --> 01:16:48,056 - What about last night? 1589 01:16:48,058 --> 01:16:49,825 How're you feeling? 1590 01:16:49,827 --> 01:16:52,194 - I don't know, I don't remember. 1591 01:16:52,496 --> 01:16:55,330 - You don't remember any of this? 1592 01:16:56,066 --> 01:16:57,899 - Last thing I remember, 1593 01:16:58,168 --> 01:17:00,802 I was on stage telling the world things 1594 01:17:00,804 --> 01:17:02,738 I never tell anybody. 1595 01:17:04,875 --> 01:17:09,811 - Well, there was a bit of a commotion after your seizure. 1596 01:17:10,648 --> 01:17:12,648 Sunny was there for you. 1597 01:17:14,318 --> 01:17:15,751 - Where is she now? 1598 01:17:17,821 --> 01:17:19,354 - I'm sorry, Travis. 1599 01:17:21,358 --> 01:17:22,357 - You said that already. 1600 01:17:22,359 --> 01:17:25,093 - No, about what happened to you as a kid. 1601 01:17:26,497 --> 01:17:28,964 It was a terrible thing. 1602 01:17:30,267 --> 01:17:32,734 - I'll be all right from here. 1603 01:17:46,216 --> 01:17:49,317 - Wondered when I'd see you again. 1604 01:17:49,319 --> 01:17:51,953 - Yeah, I've been staying at Mikey's. 1605 01:17:52,656 --> 01:17:54,623 - And how's that working out? 1606 01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:57,092 - Well, it's no party being in a relationship 1607 01:17:57,094 --> 01:18:00,395 with someone that wants you to be somebody else. 1608 01:18:01,065 --> 01:18:03,565 - I'll add that to the list. 1609 01:18:03,567 --> 01:18:04,232 - The list? 1610 01:18:04,234 --> 01:18:06,902 - Things I need to say sorry for. 1611 01:18:06,904 --> 01:18:09,571 - It's really not your fault. 1612 01:18:09,573 --> 01:18:10,772 - Are you sure? 1613 01:18:11,075 --> 01:18:13,241 I think I was the number one cheerleader 1614 01:18:13,243 --> 01:18:15,644 for team Mikey from the get-go. 1615 01:18:15,646 --> 01:18:16,812 - Well, as you said the other day, 1616 01:18:16,814 --> 01:18:18,814 I'm not your responsibility. 1617 01:18:19,116 --> 01:18:21,216 - I said a lot of shit that wasn't right. 1618 01:18:21,218 --> 01:18:23,051 - Yeah, so did I. 1619 01:18:23,821 --> 01:18:26,688 - I didn't warn you about that man 1620 01:18:27,324 --> 01:18:30,826 because I thought what he did to me was my fault. 1621 01:18:31,261 --> 01:18:33,895 Because I was a bad person. 1622 01:18:34,198 --> 01:18:40,302 I never thought it could happen to someone good, like you. 1623 01:18:41,538 --> 01:18:43,438 - You're not a bad person. 1624 01:18:44,508 --> 01:18:46,441 - When Mario died, 1625 01:18:46,443 --> 01:18:48,944 I let Travis see you with Mikey. 1626 01:18:50,547 --> 01:18:52,380 He took one look and bailed. 1627 01:18:53,383 --> 01:18:54,316 It was a shitty thing to do. 1628 01:18:54,318 --> 01:18:56,985 - Travis could've trusted me, he could've spoken to me. 1629 01:18:56,987 --> 01:18:59,187 - Do you think you could explain it? 1630 01:18:59,189 --> 01:19:00,722 Maybe you could still... 1631 01:19:00,724 --> 01:19:01,356 - What? 1632 01:19:01,358 --> 01:19:04,926 Just delay the inevitable? 1633 01:19:04,928 --> 01:19:05,994 Flic... 1634 01:19:06,530 --> 01:19:07,696 I can't be in a relationship 1635 01:19:07,698 --> 01:19:09,397 with someone that doesn't trust me. 1636 01:19:09,399 --> 01:19:11,500 I think I'm done. 1637 01:20:04,621 --> 01:20:07,889 ♪ I know you're headed in the right direction ♪ 1638 01:20:07,891 --> 01:20:11,159 ♪ I gotta tell you I'm so proud of you ♪ 1639 01:20:11,161 --> 01:20:16,998 ♪ Found your demons and let them go ♪ 1640 01:20:17,334 --> 01:20:20,402 ♪ I hope you let it all rest in peace ♪ 1641 01:20:20,404 --> 01:20:23,638 ♪ 'Cause I still pass by your lonely home ♪ 1642 01:20:23,640 --> 01:20:28,343 ♪ You let it behind and hit the road ♪ 1643 01:20:55,105 --> 01:20:58,573 ♪ So are you happy with your reflection ♪ 1644 01:20:58,575 --> 01:21:01,810 ♪ Never wonder where you belong ♪ 1645 01:21:01,812 --> 01:21:07,549 ♪ Because the open road is your home ♪ 1646 01:21:07,918 --> 01:21:11,386 ♪ Even safe without my protection ♪ 1647 01:21:11,388 --> 01:21:14,222 ♪ I gotta tell you I feel alone ♪ 1648 01:21:14,224 --> 01:21:19,461 ♪ Even though you will never know ♪ 1649 01:21:24,968 --> 01:21:25,968 - Gordo! 1650 01:21:27,371 --> 01:21:29,871 - What the fuck? 1651 01:21:32,509 --> 01:21:34,509 Is this your idea of a joke? 1652 01:21:35,812 --> 01:21:38,680 It was supposed to be a gift to say I'm sorry. 1653 01:21:38,682 --> 01:21:42,884 - Who leaves a surprise gift on the doorstep of a blind man? 1654 01:21:43,220 --> 01:21:45,754 - Dude, I think I messed up. 1655 01:21:45,756 --> 01:21:46,388 - You think? 1656 01:21:46,390 --> 01:21:48,890 I'm wearing a freaking ukulele for a shoe. 1657 01:21:48,892 --> 01:21:50,659 - No, not that. 1658 01:21:50,661 --> 01:21:52,594 This is serious. 1659 01:21:54,298 --> 01:21:55,730 - What is it? 1660 01:21:55,732 --> 01:21:56,698 - Mario. 1661 01:21:56,700 --> 01:21:59,567 He's dead, that's what she wanted to tell me 1662 01:21:59,569 --> 01:22:04,773 and I saw her hugging Mikey and just assumed. 1663 01:22:05,575 --> 01:22:08,510 I gotta be the dumbest person on the planet. 1664 01:22:08,512 --> 01:22:09,778 - No. 1665 01:22:09,780 --> 01:22:11,846 But you are a spiky asshole. 1666 01:22:11,848 --> 01:22:13,281 - I don't think so. 1667 01:22:14,084 --> 01:22:15,583 - Hello? - Fuck off! 1668 01:22:15,852 --> 01:22:18,887 - Oh, I've obviously come to the right place. 1669 01:22:18,889 --> 01:22:21,022 Look, I believe these are yours. 1670 01:22:21,024 --> 01:22:22,824 - I don't need them anymore. 1671 01:22:22,826 --> 01:22:23,692 - You might. 1672 01:22:23,694 --> 01:22:24,559 - I won't. 1673 01:22:24,561 --> 01:22:25,460 - You might. - I won't. 1674 01:22:25,462 --> 01:22:26,227 - You might. 1675 01:22:26,229 --> 01:22:28,596 - Can somebody tell me what's going on here? 1676 01:22:28,598 --> 01:22:31,266 - The MC stole all his material. 1677 01:22:31,268 --> 01:22:32,567 - Mikey! 1678 01:22:32,569 --> 01:22:34,803 Oh that fucking cock. 1679 01:22:34,805 --> 01:22:37,105 - Well, you may say that. 1680 01:22:37,607 --> 01:22:39,040 I couldn't possibly comment. 1681 01:22:39,042 --> 01:22:40,442 - So what, is he the winner now? 1682 01:22:40,444 --> 01:22:45,113 - No, but the judges have agreed to give your friend here 1683 01:22:45,115 --> 01:22:48,583 a spot in the showcase as a wildcard. 1684 01:22:48,585 --> 01:22:49,250 - Awesome. 1685 01:22:49,252 --> 01:22:51,019 Ah, you are the man. 1686 01:22:51,021 --> 01:22:52,554 - I best be off. 1687 01:22:52,556 --> 01:22:54,422 See you at the theatre later. 1688 01:22:54,424 --> 01:22:55,490 Sorry about the short notice 1689 01:22:55,492 --> 01:22:58,994 but pulling strings takes a bit longer than I thought. 1690 01:23:00,163 --> 01:23:00,929 - Yes! 1691 01:23:00,931 --> 01:23:02,330 You hear that, bro? 1692 01:23:02,332 --> 01:23:03,665 That dude got you a wildcard. 1693 01:23:03,667 --> 01:23:05,700 You're back in the game! 1694 01:23:06,470 --> 01:23:07,335 - I don't care anymore. 1695 01:23:07,337 --> 01:23:09,704 - But you care about her, don't you? 1696 01:23:10,907 --> 01:23:11,873 Hey, numbnuts! 1697 01:23:11,875 --> 01:23:13,375 You want to talk to her? 1698 01:23:13,377 --> 01:23:15,510 This could be your last shot. 1699 01:23:59,256 --> 01:24:00,522 For Narnia! 1700 01:24:22,579 --> 01:24:23,278 - Tickets? 1701 01:24:23,280 --> 01:24:25,747 - We don't have any tickets, Scott. 1702 01:24:25,749 --> 01:24:27,048 - Oh, then I can't admit you. 1703 01:24:27,050 --> 01:24:30,251 - Oh, no, he's in the show, Scott. 1704 01:24:30,253 --> 01:24:31,052 - Really? 1705 01:24:31,054 --> 01:24:31,953 Congratulations. 1706 01:24:31,955 --> 01:24:32,620 - Thank you. 1707 01:24:32,622 --> 01:24:34,222 So you gonna let us in? 1708 01:24:34,224 --> 01:24:35,490 - No. 1709 01:24:35,492 --> 01:24:36,424 - But you just said. 1710 01:24:36,426 --> 01:24:38,993 - You can go to the stage door then onto the stage 1711 01:24:38,995 --> 01:24:42,263 but you cannot go into the auditorium. 1712 01:24:42,265 --> 01:24:43,331 - Where's the stage door? 1713 01:24:43,333 --> 01:24:44,966 - Back down the concourse, around the side, 1714 01:24:44,968 --> 01:24:47,268 around the back, down the stairs. 1715 01:24:48,004 --> 01:24:50,038 - Can't we just go through here, Scott? 1716 01:24:50,507 --> 01:24:52,740 - Do you have a ticket? 1717 01:24:52,742 --> 01:24:53,908 - Oh, Scott. 1718 01:24:56,113 --> 01:24:57,645 Trav? 1719 01:24:57,647 --> 01:24:58,947 Trav? 1720 01:24:58,949 --> 01:25:01,149 - Come on, come on. 1721 01:25:01,151 --> 01:25:02,517 Come on. 1722 01:25:02,519 --> 01:25:05,720 - Tickets. 1723 01:25:05,722 --> 01:25:06,855 - Sign in. 1724 01:25:10,260 --> 01:25:11,192 There's no plus ones. 1725 01:25:11,194 --> 01:25:12,360 Your friend can't come backstage. 1726 01:25:12,362 --> 01:25:14,696 - Oh, he's disabled, I'm his carer. 1727 01:25:14,698 --> 01:25:15,430 - You're blind. 1728 01:25:15,432 --> 01:25:17,966 He's an equal opportunity employer. 1729 01:25:22,372 --> 01:25:23,271 What're you gonna say? 1730 01:25:23,273 --> 01:25:25,206 - I have absolutely no clue. 1731 01:25:25,208 --> 01:25:27,108 - Cue the dancing girls. 1732 01:25:27,110 --> 01:25:28,676 - Oh, dancing girls. 1733 01:25:29,946 --> 01:25:30,879 - Who are you? 1734 01:25:30,881 --> 01:25:32,580 - Oh, he's the wildcard. 1735 01:25:32,582 --> 01:25:34,649 The judge personally came over to let him know 1736 01:25:34,651 --> 01:25:36,584 he had a slot on tonight's show. 1737 01:25:36,586 --> 01:25:38,052 Some unconscionable shit happen. 1738 01:25:38,054 --> 01:25:40,755 And bottom line, he was freaking sabotaged. 1739 01:25:40,757 --> 01:25:41,956 - Yeah, I heard about that. 1740 01:25:41,958 --> 01:25:43,091 I saw it on Twitter. 1741 01:25:43,093 --> 01:25:44,292 Man, that was so uncool. 1742 01:25:44,294 --> 01:25:46,728 - Yeah, that Mikey guy's a dick. 1743 01:25:46,730 --> 01:25:48,329 - And he's not good in bed. 1744 01:25:48,331 --> 01:25:49,164 Really bad. 1745 01:25:49,166 --> 01:25:50,398 - You're on here but you're late. 1746 01:25:50,400 --> 01:25:52,901 You missed your slot, you're cut. 1747 01:25:52,903 --> 01:25:54,002 - Come on, I just need like... 1748 01:25:54,004 --> 01:25:54,869 - It's live television. 1749 01:25:54,871 --> 01:25:57,539 Everybody gets seven minutes, that's how it goes. 1750 01:25:57,541 --> 01:25:58,339 It's a tough break. 1751 01:25:58,341 --> 01:25:59,641 You gotta get here on time. 1752 01:25:59,643 --> 01:26:00,742 - Come on! 1753 01:26:00,744 --> 01:26:02,577 Where's your fucking heart? 1754 01:26:02,579 --> 01:26:03,511 Can't you see this guy's 1755 01:26:03,513 --> 01:26:06,548 all twisted up emotionally and physically? 1756 01:26:06,883 --> 01:26:11,219 He's in love and his girl is out there. 1757 01:26:11,221 --> 01:26:12,220 And... 1758 01:26:12,222 --> 01:26:13,354 And this is his last shot. 1759 01:26:13,356 --> 01:26:15,056 - I'm sorry, I can't just make time. 1760 01:26:15,058 --> 01:26:17,225 - Do you really love this girl, for real? 1761 01:26:17,227 --> 01:26:18,227 - Yes, for real. 1762 01:26:20,664 --> 01:26:21,196 - Well, 1763 01:26:21,198 --> 01:26:23,498 can he have two of my minutes? 1764 01:26:23,500 --> 01:26:24,098 - I guess. 1765 01:26:24,100 --> 01:26:26,134 - There you go, I'll do five. 1766 01:26:27,404 --> 01:26:29,137 - Fine, I'll do five minutes too. 1767 01:26:29,139 --> 01:26:30,238 You can have two of my minutes. 1768 01:26:30,240 --> 01:26:33,942 - All right, I guess I could cut alarm clock enema. 1769 01:26:34,344 --> 01:26:36,177 You can have two of my minutes too. 1770 01:26:36,179 --> 01:26:36,878 - Thank you! 1771 01:26:36,880 --> 01:26:39,547 Thank you so much! 1772 01:26:39,549 --> 01:26:40,589 - You good to go now? 1773 01:26:58,702 --> 01:27:01,135 - Hey man, where's your paper bag? 1774 01:27:01,404 --> 01:27:03,304 - I'm not doing that anymore. 1775 01:27:03,306 --> 01:27:04,272 - Our next act, 1776 01:27:04,274 --> 01:27:05,940 he's our wildcard surprise, 1777 01:27:05,942 --> 01:27:08,142 it's the Bag Man, himself! - Just get out there, man! 1778 01:27:08,144 --> 01:27:09,444 Kill it, you're gonna be so good! 1779 01:27:09,446 --> 01:27:10,612 - Yeah, you go get 'em, bud. 1780 01:27:10,614 --> 01:27:11,512 - It's a good audience, man. 1781 01:27:11,514 --> 01:27:12,714 - Yeah, it's great. 1782 01:27:12,716 --> 01:27:13,716 - You got this! 1783 01:27:19,756 --> 01:27:20,588 - What the fuck? 1784 01:27:20,590 --> 01:27:21,322 I thought he lost. 1785 01:27:21,324 --> 01:27:23,625 Some people just don't know when to quit. 1786 01:27:30,767 --> 01:27:31,767 - Um. 1787 01:27:33,903 --> 01:27:35,203 Could I... 1788 01:27:35,639 --> 01:27:39,874 - Somebody is about to eat a big shit sandwich. 1789 01:27:39,876 --> 01:27:41,075 - No, uh... 1790 01:27:41,344 --> 01:27:43,578 Do you mind raising your hands if you're cool 1791 01:27:43,580 --> 01:27:47,215 with me telling some jokes about disabled people? 1792 01:27:50,654 --> 01:27:54,489 All right, well that's fucking great, you sick bastards. 1793 01:27:58,361 --> 01:28:01,296 Why'd you all laugh at that? 1794 01:28:01,931 --> 01:28:05,667 People like to make fun of the disabled 1795 01:28:07,037 --> 01:28:08,136 and why not? 1796 01:28:08,138 --> 01:28:08,870 You know, right? 1797 01:28:08,872 --> 01:28:10,872 They say laughter is the best medicine. 1798 01:28:10,874 --> 01:28:12,440 Well, if that's the case, 1799 01:28:12,442 --> 01:28:13,775 the only reason why I'm still walking like this 1800 01:28:13,777 --> 01:28:17,045 is because you people aren't making fun of me enough. 1801 01:28:17,047 --> 01:28:19,013 You gotta lift up your game. 1802 01:28:22,819 --> 01:28:23,985 Why did God make spastics? 1803 01:28:23,987 --> 01:28:27,889 I mean, You're omnipotent, right? 1804 01:28:27,891 --> 01:28:29,590 And this is the best You can do? 1805 01:28:29,592 --> 01:28:34,562 This body is like a 1985 Nissan Skyline. 1806 01:28:34,931 --> 01:28:37,632 It'll get you to where you need to go 1807 01:28:37,867 --> 01:28:39,500 but you wouldn't recommend it to anyone 1808 01:28:39,502 --> 01:28:41,202 and you're not gonna get a lot of chicks 1809 01:28:41,204 --> 01:28:42,403 lining up for a ride. 1810 01:28:45,308 --> 01:28:46,074 You know? 1811 01:28:46,076 --> 01:28:48,276 When you've got Cerebral Palsy, 1812 01:28:48,278 --> 01:28:51,045 you know, it's hard to pick up a girl. 1813 01:28:51,281 --> 01:28:53,881 It's hard to pick up a glass. 1814 01:28:54,184 --> 01:28:56,884 You know, when I meet a girl for the first time 1815 01:28:56,886 --> 01:28:57,952 I always get the same look 1816 01:28:57,954 --> 01:29:00,655 and they always ask me that same question. 1817 01:29:00,657 --> 01:29:03,624 How did you get into my room? 1818 01:29:05,695 --> 01:29:06,661 So I met this girl. 1819 01:29:06,663 --> 01:29:09,130 Yeah, yeah. 1820 01:29:09,132 --> 01:29:10,898 That wasn't the joke. 1821 01:29:11,334 --> 01:29:15,336 But she was smart and beautiful 1822 01:29:15,338 --> 01:29:16,971 and funny and... 1823 01:29:16,973 --> 01:29:21,876 And smelled like the best breakfast cereal. 1824 01:29:22,879 --> 01:29:26,180 And she didn't look at me like everyone else. 1825 01:29:26,182 --> 01:29:29,083 In fact, she fell for me. 1826 01:29:30,186 --> 01:29:30,952 Which was new. 1827 01:29:30,954 --> 01:29:34,055 Usually I'm the one doing the falling. 1828 01:29:37,427 --> 01:29:38,793 I gotta confess, 1829 01:29:39,362 --> 01:29:41,863 I felt a little self-conscious. 1830 01:29:41,865 --> 01:29:45,400 So I started wearing a bag over my head, 1831 01:29:45,402 --> 01:29:47,402 which some of you saw that, huh? 1832 01:29:48,371 --> 01:29:52,607 I thought it might had the fact that I had problems. 1833 01:29:53,643 --> 01:29:56,077 Well, that was a mistake. 1834 01:29:56,079 --> 01:29:57,211 Who knew? 1835 01:29:57,881 --> 01:29:59,680 Oh yeah, you all did. 1836 01:30:01,351 --> 01:30:01,883 Yeah. 1837 01:30:01,885 --> 01:30:06,788 Is anyone in this room that's not self-conscious or insecure? 1838 01:30:07,490 --> 01:30:08,322 Oh. 1839 01:30:08,324 --> 01:30:09,957 This guy's got his hand up. 1840 01:30:09,959 --> 01:30:12,627 Sir, do you not own a mirror? 1841 01:30:14,697 --> 01:30:16,864 Like, I can talk. 1842 01:30:16,866 --> 01:30:18,166 When God made me He must've left 1843 01:30:18,168 --> 01:30:22,570 the instructions upside down going through his Ikea phase. 1844 01:30:23,840 --> 01:30:25,873 I got a spare nut in the drawer at home. 1845 01:30:25,875 --> 01:30:28,242 I don't know where that fucker goes. 1846 01:30:29,612 --> 01:30:31,112 - You can't beat a good ball joke. 1847 01:30:31,114 --> 01:30:32,747 - You sure can't, my friend. 1848 01:30:32,749 --> 01:30:33,314 - Yeah. 1849 01:30:33,316 --> 01:30:35,616 - But she picked right away 1850 01:30:35,618 --> 01:30:37,418 that I had a disability. 1851 01:30:37,420 --> 01:30:38,820 No, 1852 01:30:38,822 --> 01:30:39,787 not this. 1853 01:30:39,789 --> 01:30:43,891 I also suffer from a debilitating condition 1854 01:30:43,893 --> 01:30:47,261 called Premature Rejeculation. 1855 01:30:48,364 --> 01:30:52,133 You know how some men come too soon? 1856 01:30:52,135 --> 01:30:54,869 Well I leave too soon. 1857 01:30:54,871 --> 01:30:57,038 Stare at me, I leave. 1858 01:30:57,640 --> 01:30:59,373 Ignore me, I leave. 1859 01:30:59,375 --> 01:31:01,676 Rub me the wrong way, I leave. 1860 01:31:01,678 --> 01:31:05,513 You know, a typical relationship goes something like, 1861 01:31:05,515 --> 01:31:08,149 hello, lovely to meet you. 1862 01:31:08,151 --> 01:31:09,151 Fuck off! 1863 01:31:13,022 --> 01:31:14,088 So... 1864 01:31:14,824 --> 01:31:17,492 So I meet this girl and I think, 1865 01:31:18,328 --> 01:31:19,460 soulmate. 1866 01:31:19,729 --> 01:31:24,632 All my sins absolved, all my flaws redeemed. 1867 01:31:24,634 --> 01:31:27,101 You complete me, 1868 01:31:27,103 --> 01:31:28,536 right? 1869 01:31:29,539 --> 01:31:30,539 Wrong. 1870 01:31:32,809 --> 01:31:36,677 I was a spiky asshole before I met her, 1871 01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:40,081 I was a spiky asshole while I was with her 1872 01:31:40,416 --> 01:31:43,217 and after I lost her, 1873 01:31:43,820 --> 01:31:44,719 you got it, 1874 01:31:44,721 --> 01:31:46,621 I was a spiky asshole. 1875 01:31:48,525 --> 01:31:51,526 Falling in love is a lot of things 1876 01:31:51,528 --> 01:31:53,628 but there's no magic bullet. 1877 01:31:54,931 --> 01:31:57,899 No one can change who you are. 1878 01:32:01,004 --> 01:32:01,969 Maybe, 1879 01:32:01,971 --> 01:32:04,572 maybe I'll always walk funny. 1880 01:32:04,574 --> 01:32:06,574 Maybe I'll always talk funny. 1881 01:32:06,576 --> 01:32:09,577 Maybe my ass will always be spiky. 1882 01:32:11,681 --> 01:32:16,117 Maybe my hands will always shake when she touches me. 1883 01:32:16,853 --> 01:32:18,553 Maybe I'll always skate in circles 1884 01:32:18,555 --> 01:32:22,056 and dance like a praying mantis on crack. 1885 01:32:24,594 --> 01:32:29,463 Maybe I'll always be the wrongest guy 1886 01:32:29,465 --> 01:32:31,465 but if she's okay with that 1887 01:32:32,168 --> 01:32:34,402 and can love me anyway, 1888 01:32:36,806 --> 01:32:39,807 there's gotta be something wrong with her too. 1889 01:32:42,445 --> 01:32:44,779 Right? 1890 01:32:49,485 --> 01:32:50,618 Screw it. 1891 01:32:51,087 --> 01:32:52,687 There's something wrong with me 1892 01:32:52,689 --> 01:32:54,956 and there's something wrong with you. 1893 01:32:54,958 --> 01:32:55,823 And you. 1894 01:32:55,825 --> 01:32:58,159 And definitely something wrong with you. 1895 01:32:59,796 --> 01:33:02,563 There's something wrong with all of us. 1896 01:33:02,966 --> 01:33:06,167 We're all a bunch of emotional cripples. 1897 01:33:06,169 --> 01:33:08,469 Emotional spastics. 1898 01:33:08,805 --> 01:33:13,774 But if someone has the courage to love us anyways, 1899 01:33:15,745 --> 01:33:18,412 then what fucking excuse have we got? 1900 01:33:19,449 --> 01:33:20,715 So, 1901 01:33:20,717 --> 01:33:21,983 here's my tip, 1902 01:33:22,585 --> 01:33:25,953 whatever bag you have over your head, 1903 01:33:27,357 --> 01:33:28,456 lose it now. 1904 01:33:28,458 --> 01:33:30,925 Stop hiding who you are. 1905 01:33:31,594 --> 01:33:35,229 And find the courage to love yourself. 1906 01:33:35,832 --> 01:33:38,833 Spare nut, spiky ass and all. 1907 01:34:00,056 --> 01:34:01,555 - Woo! 1908 01:34:04,460 --> 01:34:07,061 So that's my friend 1909 01:34:07,063 --> 01:34:09,497 and that was his story. 1910 01:34:11,467 --> 01:34:12,700 - Good job! 1911 01:34:23,046 --> 01:34:26,047 - Sunny! - Sunny, just you! 1912 01:34:27,583 --> 01:34:29,884 Yeah, one more! - Aye. 1913 01:34:34,457 --> 01:34:35,923 - Oh! 1914 01:34:35,925 --> 01:34:36,991 Hey! 1915 01:34:38,494 --> 01:34:39,527 Hey. 1916 01:34:44,133 --> 01:34:48,069 Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 1917 01:34:48,404 --> 01:34:51,205 - Yeah, I think I got that. 1918 01:34:52,375 --> 01:34:53,441 And... 1919 01:34:54,110 --> 01:34:56,110 I just wanted to say... 1920 01:35:04,787 --> 01:35:06,020 - What the fuck? 1921 01:35:10,560 --> 01:35:11,592 - Yeah. 1922 01:35:11,594 --> 01:35:14,729 Remember I said I don't believe in happy endings? 1923 01:35:16,232 --> 01:35:18,766 But I do believe in happy beginnings. 1924 01:35:20,336 --> 01:35:24,672 ♪ My head is a box filled with nothing ♪ 1925 01:35:24,674 --> 01:35:27,942 ♪ That's the way I like it 1926 01:35:27,944 --> 01:35:29,276 Next time you feel 1927 01:35:29,278 --> 01:35:31,112 like you're doing it tough, 1928 01:35:31,114 --> 01:35:34,548 just remember your life is a joke. 1929 01:35:34,817 --> 01:35:36,884 So you better start laughing. 1930 01:35:37,153 --> 01:35:41,255 ♪ Your body's a dream that turns violent ♪ 1931 01:35:41,257 --> 01:35:43,390 ♪ That's the way I like it 1932 01:35:43,392 --> 01:35:45,359 ♪ That's the way I like it 1933 01:35:45,361 --> 01:35:47,161 ♪ She tells me she loves me 1934 01:35:47,163 --> 01:35:49,730 - You can bet your ass everybody else is. 1935 01:35:49,732 --> 01:35:52,433 ♪ That's the way I like it 1936 01:35:52,435 --> 01:35:56,570 ♪ So please 1937 01:35:56,572 --> 01:36:00,407 ♪ Baby, please 1938 01:36:00,409 --> 01:36:04,278 ♪ Open your eyes 1939 01:36:04,280 --> 01:36:09,049 ♪ Catch my disease 1940 01:36:09,051 --> 01:36:13,053 ♪ So please 1941 01:36:13,055 --> 01:36:17,291 ♪ Baby, please 1942 01:36:17,293 --> 01:36:20,761 ♪ Come on 1943 01:36:20,763 --> 01:36:23,631 ♪ Catch my disease 1944 01:36:30,706 --> 01:36:34,708 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la 1945 01:36:43,286 --> 01:36:47,354 ♪ They play RY X on the radio 1946 01:36:47,356 --> 01:36:51,325 ♪ That's the way I like it 1947 01:36:51,327 --> 01:36:55,796 ♪ They play Heath Cullen on the radio ♪ 1948 01:36:55,798 --> 01:36:58,265 ♪ That's the way I like it 1949 01:36:58,267 --> 01:36:59,767 That's the way I like it. 1950 01:36:59,769 --> 01:37:03,537 ♪ I hear Hazel English on the radio ♪ 1951 01:37:03,539 --> 01:37:07,808 ♪ That's the way I like, that the way I like it ♪ 1952 01:37:07,810 --> 01:37:12,246 ♪ They play Camera Obscura on the radio ♪ 1953 01:37:12,248 --> 01:37:15,349 ♪ And that's the way I like it 1954 01:37:15,351 --> 01:37:19,253 ♪ So please 1955 01:37:19,255 --> 01:37:23,057 ♪ Baby please 1956 01:37:23,059 --> 01:37:27,194 ♪ Open your heart 1957 01:37:27,196 --> 01:37:30,564 ♪ Catch my disease 131531

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