All language subtitles for Lake Michigan Monster.(2018).(1080p).(HD).(VOSTFR)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,539 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:15,573 --> 00:00:19,243 'No pieces of the body have been found, 3 00:00:19,275 --> 00:00:23,280 'and the authorities say, "Sea monsters aren't real."' 4 00:00:25,716 --> 00:00:29,420 Ahoy! And salutations! 5 00:00:29,452 --> 00:00:32,890 My name is Captain Seafield. 6 00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:36,294 'The authorities say, "Sea monsters aren't real. 7 00:00:36,326 --> 00:00:39,729 '"Or for that matter, lake monsters."' 8 00:00:39,762 --> 00:00:41,498 One month ago, 9 00:00:41,531 --> 00:00:44,534 me and a fellow ship captain of mine 10 00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,903 ventured out on a morning fishing trip 11 00:00:46,936 --> 00:00:50,440 upon the great tides of Lake Michigan. 12 00:00:50,473 --> 00:00:54,644 As we cast our lines, suddenly from out of nowhere, 13 00:00:54,677 --> 00:00:58,949 a Hellish sea monster crept up from the shallow depths, 14 00:00:58,982 --> 00:01:01,218 boarded our vessel, 15 00:01:01,252 --> 00:01:04,322 and killed my associate. 16 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,624 It then dragged him underwater 17 00:01:06,656 --> 00:01:09,560 and vanished into the murky abyss. 18 00:01:12,629 --> 00:01:15,865 The victim here was my father. 19 00:01:15,899 --> 00:01:18,868 'The authorities say, "Sea monsters aren't real. 20 00:01:18,902 --> 00:01:21,605 '"Or for that matter, lake monsters."' 21 00:01:21,638 --> 00:01:25,242 And so, I have hired a group of specialists 22 00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:28,712 to help me locate the beast and murder it. 23 00:01:40,891 --> 00:01:43,995 'Sean Shaughnessy, weapons expert. 24 00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:51,534 'Nedge Pepsi, sonar individual.' 25 00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,479 'And Dick Flynn, 26 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:05,049 'former officer at the Nautical Athletes Adventure Yunit. 27 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:08,618 'Sometimes referred to as the "N.A.V.Y."' 28 00:02:08,651 --> 00:02:10,487 And there it is! 29 00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:13,925 The team of the century! 30 00:02:19,629 --> 00:02:22,599 - Sean Shaughnessy. - How big is this monster? 31 00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:24,435 Excellent question. 32 00:02:24,467 --> 00:02:26,304 This is a lion. 33 00:02:27,570 --> 00:02:29,806 This is a tiger. 34 00:02:31,008 --> 00:02:32,743 It's as big as a lion. 35 00:02:38,514 --> 00:02:40,484 What does it look like? 36 00:02:47,957 --> 00:02:49,826 Monstrous. 37 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:51,462 Right? 38 00:02:51,495 --> 00:02:52,997 Do we have a boat? 39 00:02:53,030 --> 00:02:55,032 It's pronounced "pontoon". 40 00:02:55,064 --> 00:02:56,901 But we shan't be needing it for anything other 41 00:02:56,933 --> 00:02:58,401 than general seafaring 42 00:02:58,435 --> 00:02:59,870 as our hunt will be boat-less, 43 00:02:59,902 --> 00:03:02,639 for, you see, our monster resides... 44 00:03:04,707 --> 00:03:06,343 - ...here. - Is that...? 45 00:03:06,377 --> 00:03:08,379 - Lake Michigan. - We know it's Lake Michigan. 46 00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:09,813 It's the name of the movie. 47 00:03:13,717 --> 00:03:16,921 Yes, but more precisely it lives here, 48 00:03:16,954 --> 00:03:18,923 off the shore of my lighthouse island. 49 00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:20,790 I tell you, we weren't one fathom in the water 50 00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:22,626 when the beast slew my father. 51 00:03:22,658 --> 00:03:24,894 Wait, I thought you said he was thrown overboard 52 00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:26,496 on a fishing trip. 53 00:03:28,765 --> 00:03:30,700 Well, he was, by the beast. 54 00:03:30,734 --> 00:03:33,737 And that is precisely why we must find and kill 55 00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:35,405 the Lake Michigan Monster! 56 00:03:35,438 --> 00:03:38,975 Right. But you said you weren't one fathom out on the lake 57 00:03:39,008 --> 00:03:40,110 before the monster struck? 58 00:03:40,144 --> 00:03:42,445 - Well, we weren't. - One fathom? 59 00:03:42,479 --> 00:03:45,649 You were one fathom off the shore for a fishing trip? 60 00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:48,452 - Yes! - You know how long a fathom is? 61 00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:01,064 It's six feet. 62 00:04:02,132 --> 00:04:04,001 Bah! 63 00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:06,870 F.A.T.H.O.M.: Facultative Aquatic Taffrail 64 00:04:06,903 --> 00:04:09,038 Haliographic Opinion Measurement. 65 00:04:09,072 --> 00:04:10,775 I'm not sure that's right. 66 00:04:10,807 --> 00:04:14,544 What did you take the boat out and instantaneously run aground? 67 00:04:14,578 --> 00:04:17,180 - Then cast your fishing lines? - What else is in that podium? 68 00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,149 Well, maybe that's precisely what happened! 69 00:04:19,182 --> 00:04:22,653 Now why the hell is that so hard to grasp? Oh, God... 70 00:04:22,685 --> 00:04:25,656 Hey, what's going on here? Seafield! 71 00:04:25,689 --> 00:04:28,759 For the love of God, stop using my classroom! 72 00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:30,727 Expelled means expelled! 73 00:05:08,966 --> 00:05:12,002 Lake Michigan... this is where it all happens. 74 00:05:24,848 --> 00:05:27,685 Here's the deal. 75 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,687 This is the beach. There's the water. 76 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,021 Here we are right now. 77 00:05:31,053 --> 00:05:33,056 Nedge has set up the sonar station over there. 78 00:05:33,089 --> 00:05:35,892 When Nedge flips the switch, Sean Shaughnessy will give Dick 79 00:05:35,925 --> 00:05:37,694 his monster-killing weapon of choice. 80 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:40,898 Then, Dick, you're going to walk ten paces to the kayak, get in, 81 00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:44,000 row yourself out to sea, dive in, and begin your search. 82 00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:46,036 Back on land, Sean Shaughnessy will be lookout, 83 00:05:46,069 --> 00:05:49,607 while Nedge and I watch for any blips on the Sonar 2000. 84 00:05:49,639 --> 00:05:53,843 It shall be known as: Operation Annihilation! 85 00:06:31,213 --> 00:06:35,052 One. Two. Three. 86 00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:38,555 Four. Five. Six. 87 00:06:38,588 --> 00:06:40,891 Seven. Eight... 88 00:06:46,762 --> 00:06:48,132 Nine. 89 00:06:49,031 --> 00:06:50,600 Uh, ten! 90 00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:02,979 He's in. 91 00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:30,040 Has he found anything? 92 00:07:33,276 --> 00:07:35,045 Negative. 93 00:07:40,117 --> 00:07:41,919 Go give him a hand, Sean Shaughnessy. 94 00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,153 Right. 95 00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,226 That's my weapons expert. 96 00:08:06,742 --> 00:08:10,647 So, Seafield, what's it like being a ship captain? 97 00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:16,353 - Seafield. - What? 98 00:08:16,386 --> 00:08:18,689 How do you like being a ship captain? 99 00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:20,390 I'm not a ship captain. 100 00:08:20,423 --> 00:08:22,825 What? I thought that was kind of your thing. 101 00:08:25,696 --> 00:08:28,399 - I hope Dick's okay. - Did you get it? 102 00:08:28,432 --> 00:08:30,201 Nope. False alarm. 103 00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:42,312 You almost shot me! 104 00:08:44,947 --> 00:08:46,683 There's nothing down there, Seafield. 105 00:08:46,716 --> 00:08:48,885 Damn. Well, you all tried your best. 106 00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:50,954 Let's regroup at my place and drink bourbon. 107 00:08:55,057 --> 00:08:57,093 Nedge, go wake up Sean Shaughnessy. 108 00:09:39,068 --> 00:09:41,404 You know, I really thought that plan would work. 109 00:09:41,437 --> 00:09:44,240 Oh, well, a marginal setback. 110 00:09:44,274 --> 00:09:45,908 What's our next plan of attack? 111 00:09:45,942 --> 00:09:48,312 Ha-ha! Attack. 112 00:09:48,345 --> 00:09:51,281 Spoken like a true weapons expert. 113 00:09:51,313 --> 00:09:53,382 That's why I got you, Sean Shaughnessy. 114 00:09:53,416 --> 00:09:56,286 Violence is always on your mind. 115 00:09:56,318 --> 00:09:58,288 Much like that of the creature's. 116 00:09:58,321 --> 00:10:02,893 With a gun or a knife we must end this monster's life. 117 00:10:08,831 --> 00:10:10,867 So what's our next plan of attack? 118 00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,170 - Who wants fish sticks? - Oh, here we go! 119 00:10:14,203 --> 00:10:15,872 Martha, you spoil us! 120 00:10:15,905 --> 00:10:18,174 Now, now, even the Team of the Century 121 00:10:18,207 --> 00:10:19,976 has to eat once in a while. 122 00:10:20,009 --> 00:10:22,011 - Thank you. - She's right, you know. 123 00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:26,415 Food gives us energy, and energy is what, Sean Shaughnessy? 124 00:10:26,448 --> 00:10:28,317 Uh, energy is... 125 00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:31,421 - A good thing! - Energy is a good thing, idiot. 126 00:10:31,453 --> 00:10:33,356 Martha, did you happen to bring the ketchup? 127 00:10:33,389 --> 00:10:36,156 Did I happen to bring ketchup? 128 00:10:36,158 --> 00:10:38,795 Martha! She knows me too well. 129 00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:42,832 Okay, now you all enjoy. Plates and napkins are here in the bar. 130 00:10:42,865 --> 00:10:44,433 Thank you, thank you. 131 00:10:44,466 --> 00:10:46,336 And don't forget, tomorrow you've got that field trip. 132 00:10:46,369 --> 00:10:49,907 - Alright. Alright, Martha. - Thank you. 133 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,108 Martha. 134 00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:52,876 My wife. 135 00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:56,046 Ah, very nice. 136 00:10:56,078 --> 00:10:59,081 - Nedge? - Oh, yeah? 137 00:10:59,115 --> 00:11:00,551 - Come on. - What? 138 00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,452 Let's hear it. 139 00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:05,422 - Ah... - Uh... 140 00:11:05,455 --> 00:11:07,424 Oh! Uh... 141 00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:10,494 - To the Team of the Century! - Ah, very nice. 142 00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:15,966 Not bad. 143 00:11:15,999 --> 00:11:17,267 - Oh! - Urgh! 144 00:11:17,299 --> 00:11:19,302 Shit, that's bad! 145 00:11:19,336 --> 00:11:22,438 - Urgh! No one else try that! - No one would do that. 146 00:11:22,471 --> 00:11:24,240 Urgh! I need ketchup! 147 00:11:24,274 --> 00:11:27,410 So, here's the new deal. 148 00:11:27,443 --> 00:11:29,545 This is the beach again. There's the water again. 149 00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:31,180 Here we are right now again. 150 00:11:31,214 --> 00:11:33,317 Nedge has set up the sonar station over there again. 151 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:34,951 When Nedge flips the switch again, 152 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,186 Sean Shaughnessy will give Dick 153 00:11:36,219 --> 00:11:37,888 his monster-killing weapon of choice again. 154 00:11:37,921 --> 00:11:40,524 Then, you'll walk ten paces to the kayak, get in again, 155 00:11:40,557 --> 00:11:42,491 row yourself out to the sea again, dive in again, 156 00:11:42,524 --> 00:11:44,093 and begin your search again. 157 00:11:44,126 --> 00:11:45,361 Back on land, Sean Shaughnessy will be lookout again, 158 00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:48,598 while Nedge and I watch for any blips on the Sonar 2000 again. 159 00:11:48,631 --> 00:11:54,237 Except this time, it shall be known as: Operation Nauty Lady. 160 00:11:57,039 --> 00:11:59,342 - Why, though? - Why what? 161 00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:02,144 I mean, I like the name and everything, 162 00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:04,047 I think it's really clever. 163 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,617 But what does it have to do with anything? 164 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,091 Whoa, hey! Where are my clothes? 165 00:12:17,427 --> 00:12:20,096 You must be naked for the nauty lady! 166 00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:21,631 What the hell does that mean? 167 00:12:21,664 --> 00:12:24,300 Last night I finished my fish sticks and I got to thinking. 168 00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,636 What if this monster is a lady? 169 00:12:26,669 --> 00:12:29,005 Well, then, naturally she'd be attracted 170 00:12:29,038 --> 00:12:30,673 to a naked swimming man. 171 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,942 - Naturally. - I didn't sign up for this! 172 00:12:32,975 --> 00:12:36,279 - Where are my clothes? - Oh, and by the way... 173 00:12:36,312 --> 00:12:40,116 ...I forgot to hand out these last night. 174 00:12:40,149 --> 00:12:43,319 Your payment for all your hard work. 175 00:12:43,352 --> 00:12:45,388 Nedge Pepsi. 176 00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:47,691 Sean Shaughnessy. 177 00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:50,927 And... Mr. Dick Flynn. 178 00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,205 You know what, Seafield? 179 00:13:02,238 --> 00:13:04,374 I actually think this is a really good plan. 180 00:13:04,407 --> 00:13:06,475 - Right? - The monster will see me naked. 181 00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:08,478 - It'll wanna get on top of me! - I think so, too. 182 00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,447 That's when I'll stab it in its neck. 183 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,981 That's the spirit, Dick! 184 00:13:12,014 --> 00:13:15,119 Now, everyone in position! 185 00:13:36,172 --> 00:13:38,108 Let's not shoot at me this time. 186 00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,243 I take my orders from the Captain. 187 00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:45,581 Now I know why they call him Dick. 188 00:13:45,615 --> 00:13:47,317 Why? 189 00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,153 Because... he has a penis. 190 00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:54,991 Seven. 191 00:13:55,024 --> 00:13:56,326 Eight. 192 00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:07,403 Nine. Ten. 193 00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:12,609 - So brave. - Mm-hmm... 194 00:14:19,581 --> 00:14:20,650 He's in. 195 00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:30,627 - Would you date him? - Uh... 196 00:14:30,659 --> 00:14:33,462 I don't really date teammates. 197 00:14:33,495 --> 00:14:35,499 I don't date at all because I'm a married man. 198 00:14:35,532 --> 00:14:37,234 It's one of those things you can't be doing 199 00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,802 once you're married. 200 00:14:38,835 --> 00:14:40,704 Of course, I can still remember me and Martha's first date... 201 00:14:40,736 --> 00:14:45,074 - Keep an eye on the sonar. - Haunted beer garden. 202 00:14:57,352 --> 00:14:58,521 I got something! 203 00:14:58,554 --> 00:15:02,025 As do we, old chap! Good job, Nedge! 204 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,369 Wow, this thing's actually pretty big. 205 00:15:12,402 --> 00:15:14,237 Monster's aren't small, Nedge. 206 00:15:14,269 --> 00:15:15,538 Except for centipedes. 207 00:15:15,572 --> 00:15:17,807 Except for centipedes. This is true. 208 00:15:17,841 --> 00:15:20,509 Although small, they are quite monstrous, nevertheless. 209 00:15:20,543 --> 00:15:22,711 - All those legs. - All those legs are right. 210 00:15:22,745 --> 00:15:25,048 It's encircling Dick! 211 00:15:27,182 --> 00:15:29,452 Sean Shaughnessy, prepare to lock and load! 212 00:15:29,485 --> 00:15:30,553 Right! 213 00:15:32,355 --> 00:15:34,124 Alright, Sean Shaughnessy, get in there and... 214 00:15:37,226 --> 00:15:39,262 Not seeing anything, Seafield. 215 00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:56,112 Dick! 216 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,483 Dick! 217 00:16:20,503 --> 00:16:22,605 Alright, Sean Shaughnessy, get in there! 218 00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:25,442 Kill the monster! Kill it! 219 00:16:25,475 --> 00:16:27,478 Damn it, Sean Shaughnessy! 220 00:16:28,443 --> 00:16:30,146 Alright, Nedge, you're up! 221 00:16:30,179 --> 00:16:32,448 I don't know, I'm really more of a sonar individual. 222 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:51,500 Dick! Dick! Thank Poseidon you're alright. He lives! 223 00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:53,302 - Where are my clothes? - Nedge? 224 00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,305 So, did you kill it? 225 00:16:55,337 --> 00:16:57,307 Did I kill it? No! 226 00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:58,875 Then how are you possibly still alive? 227 00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:01,411 I dunno. One minute he had me all wrapped up, 228 00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:03,312 then the next he was gone. 229 00:17:03,346 --> 00:17:04,681 Dear God! 230 00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:08,384 - Did you get a good look at it? - No. Felt slimy. 231 00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,554 - You owe me a family heirloom. - Yes, I do. 232 00:17:11,587 --> 00:17:13,423 I'll give you the money. 233 00:17:13,455 --> 00:17:15,358 Thank you, Seafield. 234 00:17:18,627 --> 00:17:20,462 Hey, guys, sorry! 235 00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:22,732 Sorry, my friend's terrible at volleyball. 236 00:17:22,765 --> 00:17:25,402 Get out of here, Girlie! 237 00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,310 I didn't believe him. 238 00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:35,946 None of us did. 239 00:17:35,979 --> 00:17:39,548 Hmm... A sea monster? Ridiculous. 240 00:17:39,582 --> 00:17:42,853 But he was right. That eccentric bastard was right. 241 00:17:49,892 --> 00:17:53,663 - Wow. - That big? Wow. 242 00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:59,469 So this huge monster has you in its grasp 243 00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:00,803 and then it just lets you go. 244 00:18:00,836 --> 00:18:03,640 - Not a scratch. - I wonder why. 245 00:18:03,673 --> 00:18:05,808 - Terrifying nevertheless. - Ah... 246 00:18:08,411 --> 00:18:11,381 By the way, Seafield, not a real sea captain. 247 00:18:11,413 --> 00:18:13,516 - Wait, seriously? - No, I am not! 248 00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:15,618 There, happy, Nedge? I'm docking your pay. 249 00:18:15,652 --> 00:18:17,653 - Where did you come from? - Phoenix. 250 00:18:17,686 --> 00:18:19,521 Uh... no, just now. 251 00:18:19,555 --> 00:18:21,490 Trapdoor. It's my house, Nedge. 252 00:18:21,523 --> 00:18:23,359 This is some really good bourbon. 253 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,496 Isn't it? Ashcroft brought me back a barrel from Glasgow. 254 00:18:26,528 --> 00:18:28,498 - Scotland? - Kentucky. 255 00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:30,666 It's bourbon, after all. 256 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:35,872 - Not... a moor. - Who's Ashcroft? 257 00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:38,241 I be Ashcroft! 258 00:18:39,709 --> 00:18:42,379 I know. Tell them. 259 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,980 I be Ashcroft! 260 00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:47,516 So, you're searching for the old man, eh? 261 00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:50,452 That's right, and this is my band of rowdy cutthroats, 262 00:18:50,486 --> 00:18:52,990 Dick, Nedge, and Sean Shaughnessy. 263 00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:00,764 Well, I suppose you could've done worse. 264 00:19:02,597 --> 00:19:04,500 You have a fine taste in whiskey, sir! 265 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:05,969 It's ruined me life! 266 00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:09,306 - What are we painting here? - It's a freaking landscape. 267 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:14,611 Oh, yeah. I can see it. 268 00:19:14,644 --> 00:19:17,846 So, how have you been hunting this monster? 269 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,616 Come aboard! 270 00:19:20,048 --> 00:19:21,651 Blades. 271 00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:22,885 Guns. 272 00:19:22,919 --> 00:19:24,854 - Sonar 2000. - Sonar? 273 00:19:24,886 --> 00:19:26,855 Too good for the old ways, eh? 274 00:19:26,888 --> 00:19:29,391 Ashcroft, you know I don't have intuition. 275 00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:30,559 He knows that. 276 00:19:30,593 --> 00:19:31,928 You don't use sonar of any kind? 277 00:19:31,961 --> 00:19:34,698 Don't even know what it is, to tell you the truth. 278 00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:38,301 Wait. You don't use... How old are you? 279 00:19:43,472 --> 00:19:44,774 Thirty. 280 00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:52,615 After I graduated high school in 2005, 281 00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:55,651 I went into the longshoreman business to join my father. 282 00:19:55,684 --> 00:20:01,890 On my first day out, he said, "Son! Sonar is for pussies!" 283 00:20:01,923 --> 00:20:04,394 - And that was the end of it. - He never said that. 284 00:20:04,426 --> 00:20:07,396 - That was the end of it! - He never said that. 285 00:20:07,430 --> 00:20:10,400 Okay, fine. He never said that. 286 00:20:10,432 --> 00:20:12,067 Anyways, the point is, 287 00:20:12,101 --> 00:20:13,870 if you're going to catch that monster, 288 00:20:13,903 --> 00:20:15,404 you're going to have to go at night. 289 00:20:15,438 --> 00:20:18,575 - Why at night? - Monsters come out at night! 290 00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:21,778 - Ah, yes. - And you'll need one of these! 291 00:20:21,810 --> 00:20:23,612 Hook your bait with this hook 292 00:20:23,645 --> 00:20:26,682 and your monster is as good as hooked. 293 00:20:26,715 --> 00:20:28,150 I know I'm hooked. 294 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,918 - Me, too. - Me, three. 295 00:20:29,951 --> 00:20:31,654 Gimme that! 296 00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:08,758 ♪ And that's when I said goodbye... ♪ 297 00:21:08,790 --> 00:21:11,126 - Yow! - Oh, mercy! 298 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,430 - Yow! - Wonderful! 299 00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,167 - Whoo-hoo! - Oh, wow. 300 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,635 Absolutely terrific. 301 00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:23,773 - Dick, you're a real talent. - Ah... I know. 302 00:21:23,806 --> 00:21:25,642 - Are you in a band? - Use to be. 303 00:21:25,674 --> 00:21:27,609 Was the leader of the Navy concert band. 304 00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:29,045 Like the director? 305 00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:32,080 The commanding officer. So, yeah, the music director. 306 00:21:32,114 --> 00:21:34,550 Youngest in history, in fact. 307 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,887 That's quite impressive, Dick. I had no idea. 308 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,557 It was a lot of fun. Traveling the world, doing a lot of shows. 309 00:21:41,590 --> 00:21:44,193 Did some NFL games, saw the Pyramids in Egypt. 310 00:21:44,227 --> 00:21:46,763 - That's awesome. - Yeah. 311 00:21:46,796 --> 00:21:49,132 - What made you stop? - Oh, I was discharged. 312 00:21:50,232 --> 00:21:51,967 Oh... okay. 313 00:21:53,736 --> 00:21:55,572 Yeah... 314 00:21:57,606 --> 00:21:59,675 Honorably, no doubt. 315 00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:03,846 Uh... 316 00:22:05,047 --> 00:22:07,683 No, not honorably. 317 00:22:07,717 --> 00:22:13,223 You see, I had lots of... sexual misconduct 318 00:22:13,256 --> 00:22:17,660 with the woodwind and percussion sections. 319 00:22:17,692 --> 00:22:19,261 I also shot the timpani player 320 00:22:19,295 --> 00:22:22,532 in a very strange sequence of events. 321 00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,842 - So, dishonorable. - Look, guy's a character. 322 00:22:54,063 --> 00:22:56,500 Battle stations! 323 00:23:00,269 --> 00:23:02,572 Wait for it... 324 00:23:04,205 --> 00:23:05,808 Now! 325 00:23:08,911 --> 00:23:11,080 - 1, 2, 3! - Heave! 326 00:23:11,113 --> 00:23:13,950 - 1, 2, 3! - Heave! 327 00:23:13,982 --> 00:23:16,318 - 1, 2, 3! - Heave! 328 00:23:16,352 --> 00:23:18,086 Here it comes! 329 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,923 Sean Shaughnessy! 330 00:23:20,957 --> 00:23:23,660 Sean Shaughnessy! 331 00:23:23,692 --> 00:23:26,195 Your time is up, monster! 332 00:23:36,204 --> 00:23:37,773 What...? 333 00:23:40,209 --> 00:23:41,778 Huh... 334 00:23:44,313 --> 00:23:45,882 Hmm... 335 00:23:47,782 --> 00:23:49,752 It's blank. 336 00:23:52,288 --> 00:23:54,924 Oh. Yes, of course. 337 00:24:02,365 --> 00:24:05,335 "Be seeing you... 338 00:24:08,971 --> 00:24:12,875 "...in your... dreams." 339 00:25:39,428 --> 00:25:41,264 Sean Shaughnessy! 340 00:25:47,368 --> 00:25:49,271 Does he not have his eyebrow make-up on? 341 00:25:49,305 --> 00:25:51,207 Sean Shaughnessy! 342 00:25:55,144 --> 00:25:57,012 - I got it! - Is that an egg? 343 00:25:57,046 --> 00:25:58,715 I got the egg! 344 00:26:02,183 --> 00:26:05,754 Sean Shaughnessy! I got it! I got it! 345 00:26:05,788 --> 00:26:08,223 I got the egg! Hee-hee! 346 00:26:11,961 --> 00:26:14,997 Now! Shoot it, Sean Shaughnessy! Shoot the egg! 347 00:26:15,029 --> 00:26:16,766 Is that the monster's egg? 348 00:26:16,798 --> 00:26:19,335 Yes. I saw some stuff while I was sleeping. 349 00:26:19,367 --> 00:26:20,836 - Like a dream. - That's the one. 350 00:26:20,869 --> 00:26:23,405 Where's your eyebrow make-up? 351 00:26:23,439 --> 00:26:25,374 I don't know what you're talking about! 352 00:26:27,542 --> 00:26:29,244 Oh, no, you don't! 353 00:26:31,247 --> 00:26:33,182 Kill it! Kill it, Sean Shaughnessy! 354 00:26:33,214 --> 00:26:36,118 Just like its mama killed my daddy! 355 00:27:06,848 --> 00:27:08,283 Jesus! 356 00:27:17,026 --> 00:27:20,897 Chug, chug, chug, chug... 357 00:27:23,031 --> 00:27:24,533 Beer! 358 00:27:26,902 --> 00:27:28,538 Hurray! 359 00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,405 But did we have to kill its baby? 360 00:27:30,439 --> 00:27:32,008 Blood for blood, Nedge. 361 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,809 It kills my father, we shoot its egg. 362 00:27:33,843 --> 00:27:36,045 - Remind you of anything? - Hmm... no. 363 00:27:36,077 --> 00:27:37,480 - Iwo Jima. - How? 364 00:27:37,512 --> 00:27:39,247 Ooh, the candy shop! 365 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,585 - So... Nedge. - Yes? 366 00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:47,189 - What is your full name? - Nedge Pepsi. 367 00:27:47,222 --> 00:27:51,493 No. No, I mean like what is Nedge short for? 368 00:27:53,162 --> 00:27:55,064 Nedgecraft. 369 00:27:55,096 --> 00:27:57,465 "Nedgecraft"? 370 00:27:57,499 --> 00:27:59,935 - It's Polish. - No, it's not. 371 00:27:59,969 --> 00:28:03,471 Your full name is "Nedgecraft Pepsi"? 372 00:28:03,505 --> 00:28:05,241 Junior. 373 00:28:05,273 --> 00:28:08,176 Damn candy store is closed! Bunch of pedophiles! 374 00:28:08,210 --> 00:28:10,846 Whoa! Hey, uh... So what's our next plan, boss? 375 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,082 Ah! The man knows a question but not the answer. 376 00:28:13,115 --> 00:28:15,050 That's why I asked. 377 00:28:28,463 --> 00:28:31,333 Beach, water, sonar station. 378 00:28:31,366 --> 00:28:33,101 Dick will carry the egg carcass... 379 00:28:33,134 --> 00:28:34,336 Fully clothed. 380 00:28:34,369 --> 00:28:35,904 Fine. But not your clothes. 381 00:28:35,938 --> 00:28:37,139 Everyone switch clothes. 382 00:28:37,172 --> 00:28:39,141 In order to draw the sea hag out, 383 00:28:39,173 --> 00:28:41,911 Dick will toss the eggshells one fathom into the sea. 384 00:28:41,943 --> 00:28:43,578 The scent will be intoxicating. 385 00:28:43,612 --> 00:28:46,182 The monster maiden won't be able to resist. 386 00:28:46,214 --> 00:28:49,217 - She must be worried sick. - Nedge let's hear it. 387 00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,485 Hear what? 388 00:28:50,519 --> 00:28:52,121 The name of the operation, of course. 389 00:28:52,153 --> 00:28:54,289 Your last one was so clever. 390 00:28:54,323 --> 00:28:57,259 How about Operation Eggsecution? 391 00:28:57,292 --> 00:28:58,660 Ah! 392 00:28:58,693 --> 00:29:00,528 No, no, wait, that's terrible. But listen to this... 393 00:29:00,561 --> 00:29:03,899 Operation "Eggscuse me, time to die!" 394 00:29:03,932 --> 00:29:06,603 And be sure to say that when you shoot it in the brain. 395 00:30:13,102 --> 00:30:15,104 What is he doing? 396 00:30:16,238 --> 00:30:18,106 I don't know. 397 00:30:25,381 --> 00:30:28,351 Dick, I don't pay you to flirt with inanimate objects! 398 00:30:28,384 --> 00:30:31,453 I got a guy for that. Name's Howard. 399 00:30:45,099 --> 00:30:47,702 - Eagle's landed. - Ah! Excellent! 400 00:30:47,736 --> 00:30:51,741 Now to play my favorite game in the whole wide world. 401 00:30:51,773 --> 00:30:53,708 - Ah, the waiting game. - Checkers! 402 00:30:53,741 --> 00:30:55,644 Is everything alright? 403 00:30:56,744 --> 00:30:58,146 Dick? 404 00:30:58,180 --> 00:30:59,481 So that's why you brought that along. 405 00:30:59,515 --> 00:31:01,217 Yes. 406 00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:04,353 Why else would I bring checkers along if not to play checkers? 407 00:31:04,385 --> 00:31:07,189 I think the eggshells were just talking to me. 408 00:31:07,221 --> 00:31:09,224 They were talking to you? 409 00:31:10,192 --> 00:31:12,228 They were communicating. 410 00:31:12,260 --> 00:31:15,030 Like we had some sort of strange connection. 411 00:31:17,432 --> 00:31:19,535 What possible reason could there be 412 00:31:19,567 --> 00:31:22,504 for bringing a game such as this to the beach 413 00:31:22,538 --> 00:31:25,474 without the intent to play it amongst friends? 414 00:31:26,474 --> 00:31:28,243 I don't know. 415 00:31:30,778 --> 00:31:32,580 I'm docking your pay. 416 00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:36,752 Seafield, it's here. 417 00:31:41,722 --> 00:31:43,725 Where? Off the starboard? 418 00:31:43,759 --> 00:31:45,661 No, it's headed toward the egg! 419 00:31:45,693 --> 00:31:49,432 Ah! Alright, Sean Shaughnessy. Time to make your country proud. 420 00:31:49,464 --> 00:31:52,268 It's closing in! 421 00:31:59,340 --> 00:32:01,342 Bingo! 422 00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:04,279 - This one's for you, daddy! - Daddy? 423 00:32:21,696 --> 00:32:24,699 Aargh! 424 00:32:24,732 --> 00:32:25,701 Sean! 425 00:33:38,539 --> 00:33:43,444 Sean Shaughnessy was a better man than most of our team. 426 00:33:43,478 --> 00:33:47,950 I'll never forget the day I recruited him... Tuesday. 427 00:33:47,982 --> 00:33:49,751 He was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, 428 00:33:49,785 --> 00:33:51,387 and ready to get to work. 429 00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:55,758 He said, "Seafield, I am your sword, I am your shield, 430 00:33:55,790 --> 00:33:58,493 "I am your weapons expert." 431 00:33:58,527 --> 00:34:01,230 Sean said that? 432 00:34:01,262 --> 00:34:02,731 He did. 433 00:34:05,534 --> 00:34:07,903 That was only the second time anyone had ever said that to me. 434 00:34:07,935 --> 00:34:11,306 Well, I'll always remember how brave he was. 435 00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:13,809 Whether charging into the lake to fight the monster 436 00:34:13,842 --> 00:34:17,813 or discharging a firearm on a public beach, 437 00:34:17,846 --> 00:34:19,981 Sean didn't care, he was brave. 438 00:34:20,014 --> 00:34:22,451 I don't have any fond memories of Sean. 439 00:34:22,483 --> 00:34:23,885 Mostly because I'm pretty sure 440 00:34:23,918 --> 00:34:26,521 he shot and killed my unborn child. 441 00:34:26,554 --> 00:34:28,389 You know, I had a sneaking suspicion. 442 00:34:28,422 --> 00:34:29,791 Wait, what? 443 00:34:29,824 --> 00:34:33,528 - That egg was mine, wasn't it? - Well... not yours. 444 00:34:33,561 --> 00:34:38,000 It's the monster's egg, Dick. But yes! You made it happen. 445 00:34:38,032 --> 00:34:40,735 I had a dream regarding it. 446 00:34:40,768 --> 00:34:43,504 Oh, what? Are you upset? 447 00:34:43,538 --> 00:34:46,375 It was a monster baby! 448 00:34:46,407 --> 00:34:47,742 You should've at least told me 449 00:34:47,775 --> 00:34:49,877 before you let Sean shoot the shit out of it! 450 00:34:49,911 --> 00:34:51,679 What does it even matter? 451 00:34:51,713 --> 00:34:54,617 Were you really going to raise a grotesque hell spawn? 452 00:34:56,318 --> 00:34:58,653 - In this economy? - I'm confused. 453 00:34:58,686 --> 00:35:00,521 It wasn't your call to make, Seafield! 454 00:35:00,554 --> 00:35:04,826 Oh, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! 455 00:35:04,860 --> 00:35:06,862 You're right! 456 00:35:06,894 --> 00:35:11,300 Ooh! We should've constructed a large nest for it. 457 00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:14,802 Have Papa Dick nurture the egg day and night 458 00:35:14,835 --> 00:35:17,472 for several weeks under his loins, 459 00:35:17,505 --> 00:35:20,975 until one day the egg decides to hatch 460 00:35:21,009 --> 00:35:23,478 and bite our fucking heads off! 461 00:35:23,512 --> 00:35:26,414 - I would make a great dad! - Wait, that's it... 462 00:35:26,447 --> 00:35:28,384 It must've happened during Operation Nauty Lady 463 00:35:28,416 --> 00:35:29,652 when Dick was naked. 464 00:35:29,684 --> 00:35:32,020 The monster seized him, pulled him underwater, 465 00:35:32,054 --> 00:35:33,822 and somehow extracted his... 466 00:35:33,855 --> 00:35:36,525 Yes, very good, Nedge. We don't have to go into graphic detail, 467 00:35:36,557 --> 00:35:37,693 you sick weirdo. 468 00:35:37,726 --> 00:35:39,628 I'm done with you, Seafield. 469 00:35:39,661 --> 00:35:42,664 Your father, he can burn in hell! 470 00:35:42,697 --> 00:35:44,632 Oh, why don't you go shoot a timpani player, 471 00:35:44,666 --> 00:35:46,735 you big treasonous seaman? 472 00:35:46,768 --> 00:35:48,536 Hey! What are you doing here? 473 00:35:48,570 --> 00:35:50,506 You can't be digging in a cemetery! 474 00:35:50,539 --> 00:35:52,041 That's vandalism! 475 00:35:52,074 --> 00:35:55,411 Seafield, you're vandals and felons! I'm calling the cops! 476 00:35:55,443 --> 00:35:57,679 - Let's go, outta here. - Get back here! 477 00:35:57,713 --> 00:36:00,481 'Uh, mission failed. 478 00:36:00,514 --> 00:36:03,851 'Failed. Failed. Failed!' 479 00:36:03,885 --> 00:36:06,522 Oh, God! Why is this so hard? 480 00:36:11,693 --> 00:36:15,731 What really happened that day, Seafield? 481 00:36:15,764 --> 00:36:18,599 What day? There are many days. 482 00:36:18,632 --> 00:36:19,934 The day your father disappeared. 483 00:36:19,967 --> 00:36:21,903 I already told you what happened. 484 00:36:21,936 --> 00:36:24,105 Look, I know you pay us a lot, 485 00:36:24,139 --> 00:36:27,776 and it's not really my place to ask, 486 00:36:27,809 --> 00:36:29,612 but... come on. 487 00:36:31,612 --> 00:36:33,081 What? 488 00:36:33,114 --> 00:36:35,750 You took your boat from the dock, immediately ran aground, 489 00:36:35,784 --> 00:36:37,653 decided to start fishing, 490 00:36:37,686 --> 00:36:40,923 and then the monster attacked your father and took him away. 491 00:36:40,956 --> 00:36:42,524 Took him away and killed him! 492 00:36:42,556 --> 00:36:44,926 You told us your father was a seasoned ship captain. 493 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,128 This sounds like the work of a small child 494 00:36:47,161 --> 00:36:49,564 or someone who's a drunk. 495 00:36:49,597 --> 00:36:52,433 Well, he was, Nedge! And he'd been drinking all morning. 496 00:36:52,467 --> 00:36:53,936 I wasn't much more fair for ware 497 00:36:53,969 --> 00:36:57,505 because you see I, too, am a drunk. As is Ashcroft. 498 00:36:57,539 --> 00:37:00,743 And no, my father was not a seasoned ship captain. 499 00:37:00,775 --> 00:37:02,744 I never said this, you assumed this. 500 00:37:02,777 --> 00:37:05,446 Just as you assumed I was a ship captain. 501 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,949 As you probably assumed Ashcroft is, too. 502 00:37:07,983 --> 00:37:10,419 It's hard not to assume your father was a ship captain 503 00:37:10,452 --> 00:37:12,955 when you told us your father was a ship captain. 504 00:37:12,987 --> 00:37:15,456 - Oh, I never said such a thing! - Yes, you did! 505 00:37:15,489 --> 00:37:17,058 At the beginning of all of this. 506 00:37:17,092 --> 00:37:19,728 A-ha... A-ha! 507 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,898 Well, that must've just been one of my little lying fits. 508 00:37:22,931 --> 00:37:25,800 I do that an awful lot to make up for the fact 509 00:37:25,833 --> 00:37:27,902 that I don't actually have a lot going for me. 510 00:37:27,936 --> 00:37:31,539 No, what about your house here? You have a beautiful house. 511 00:37:31,572 --> 00:37:33,107 It's all illusion, Nedge! 512 00:37:33,141 --> 00:37:36,445 A simple parlor trick in which a man moves into a lighthouse 513 00:37:36,478 --> 00:37:39,581 and pretends to be someone other than the museum's docent. 514 00:37:39,614 --> 00:37:41,849 - So this is a museum? - Yes! 515 00:37:41,882 --> 00:37:45,453 - Not your house. - No. 516 00:37:45,487 --> 00:37:47,523 - And you're a docent here? - And a fraud! 517 00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:49,590 We're all just a bunch of frauds, Nedge. 518 00:37:49,623 --> 00:37:51,426 I'm the biggest charlatan of them all. 519 00:37:51,460 --> 00:37:54,496 At least my father and Ashcroft were sailors. 520 00:37:54,528 --> 00:37:56,632 I just stay cooped up in my lighthouse villa 521 00:37:56,664 --> 00:37:59,101 playing make-believe with my old-ass wife. 522 00:37:59,134 --> 00:38:01,135 You mean the state's lighthouse. 523 00:38:01,168 --> 00:38:04,839 There I go again, pretending! This hat? A costume prop! 524 00:38:04,873 --> 00:38:08,844 This ivory? Real ivory! Not mine! The museum's! 525 00:38:08,876 --> 00:38:10,978 In fact, I'm actually pretty surprised none of you picked up 526 00:38:11,012 --> 00:38:13,916 on the sheer blatantness that this is clearly a museum. 527 00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:16,652 Hmm! 528 00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:18,921 Dude, sick. 529 00:38:18,954 --> 00:38:20,722 - Yeah, sick. - Sick. 530 00:38:20,755 --> 00:38:24,492 Okay, but why are you being this con man? 531 00:38:24,525 --> 00:38:28,730 Because... if I hadn't pretended 532 00:38:28,762 --> 00:38:31,733 to be this wealthy mariner... 533 00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:36,070 ...none of you would've helped me to my cause. 534 00:38:36,103 --> 00:38:40,074 I never had a mother and I just want to find my father. 535 00:38:40,108 --> 00:38:42,744 These checks aren't good, are they? 536 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,716 Nedge! Don't go! 537 00:38:47,748 --> 00:38:50,017 Reconsider! Please! 538 00:38:50,050 --> 00:38:52,520 Those checks, they might not be good, 539 00:38:52,554 --> 00:38:56,892 but I'm still a pretty fun guy to hang out with! 540 00:38:56,925 --> 00:38:59,862 Come on! Captain Cool over here! 541 00:38:59,894 --> 00:39:04,599 You know... Look, please, I'll do anything. I'll rob a bank! 542 00:39:21,282 --> 00:39:28,623 ♪ I can see the waters in the morning 543 00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:34,863 ♪ I can see the ships sail into bay 544 00:39:34,896 --> 00:39:41,068 ♪ There must be some team who'll do my bidding 545 00:39:41,101 --> 00:39:47,108 ♪ Without questioning, drinking, dying or pay! 546 00:39:47,141 --> 00:39:52,547 ♪ I know my life is still worth living 547 00:39:52,581 --> 00:39:59,086 ♪ I will conquer foe and friend alike... ♪ 548 00:39:59,119 --> 00:40:03,192 Seafield! Knock it off! You're a terrible singer. 549 00:40:07,596 --> 00:40:08,963 Sorry. 550 00:40:09,864 --> 00:40:12,067 Did you buy a house? 551 00:40:16,271 --> 00:40:18,673 - 'Tis a sublease. - Oh. 552 00:40:21,976 --> 00:40:25,179 Remember the first time dad took us out on the boat? 553 00:40:25,213 --> 00:40:27,716 How could I forget? 554 00:40:27,748 --> 00:40:30,217 I was five years old. 555 00:40:30,251 --> 00:40:33,822 You couldn't have been more than eight or nine at the time. 556 00:40:33,855 --> 00:40:35,690 We were so scared that day, 557 00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:39,027 dad taking us out on the sea for the first time. 558 00:40:39,059 --> 00:40:42,730 Couple of landlubbers like us, huh? Times have changed. 559 00:40:42,764 --> 00:40:46,268 But he said, "Don't be scared. Everything will be alright. 560 00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:49,337 "This'll be a fun time. I'll keep you safe." 561 00:40:49,371 --> 00:40:52,874 He also said, "If either one of you should get seasick 562 00:40:52,907 --> 00:40:55,611 "and throw up all over the deck, 563 00:40:55,643 --> 00:40:59,981 I will take my harpoon gun and I will shoot you in the face." 564 00:41:00,014 --> 00:41:01,817 Then, of course, you did get sick 565 00:41:01,849 --> 00:41:04,118 and the rest is history, as we may say. 566 00:41:04,152 --> 00:41:05,753 Funny guy, dad. 567 00:41:05,786 --> 00:41:07,388 Well, he did the best he could 568 00:41:07,422 --> 00:41:10,159 as a single teenage father. 569 00:41:16,864 --> 00:41:19,634 Go to the catacombs. 570 00:41:22,336 --> 00:41:24,338 The catacombs? Are you mad? No! 571 00:41:24,371 --> 00:41:26,007 - You must! - I mustn't. 572 00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:27,909 - I think you should. - Why should I? 573 00:41:27,942 --> 00:41:31,246 You killed the monster's child. Now you're cursed. 574 00:41:31,278 --> 00:41:33,815 Well, actually the dead guy, Sean Shaughnessy, 575 00:41:33,847 --> 00:41:35,916 he's the one who killed the monster's child. 576 00:41:35,949 --> 00:41:38,319 I just told him to. Ipso facto... 577 00:41:38,353 --> 00:41:40,021 Even worse! 578 00:41:40,054 --> 00:41:44,158 A man whom you have cursed and later led to the slaughter. 579 00:41:44,192 --> 00:41:46,695 Yep, here it is. 580 00:41:46,728 --> 00:41:50,766 The wandering cursed spirit will not rest 581 00:41:50,798 --> 00:41:57,905 until it brings the cursee's life to a resounding end. 582 00:41:59,873 --> 00:42:01,742 What can I do, Ashcroft? 583 00:42:01,775 --> 00:42:04,745 You're a dead man walking, Seafield. 584 00:42:04,778 --> 00:42:07,014 Might as well avenge the old man's death 585 00:42:07,047 --> 00:42:10,751 and your friend's death while you still can. 586 00:42:10,784 --> 00:42:13,321 Go to the catacombs. 587 00:43:09,978 --> 00:43:11,880 Fore! 588 00:43:13,213 --> 00:43:16,784 Hey, sorry about that, fellas... Whoa, Dick! Nedge! 589 00:43:16,818 --> 00:43:20,355 What are you guys doing here? Ice cream sandwiches? 590 00:43:20,387 --> 00:43:22,090 What do you want, Seafield? 591 00:43:22,123 --> 00:43:24,291 Alright, you've seen through my ruse. I wasn't actually golfing. 592 00:43:24,324 --> 00:43:26,527 - Yeah, no shit. - Get out of here, Seafield. 593 00:43:26,561 --> 00:43:28,296 Look, I'm sorry about before. 594 00:43:28,329 --> 00:43:30,031 But now I've come to right the wrong 595 00:43:30,063 --> 00:43:31,832 of not paying you for your services 596 00:43:31,865 --> 00:43:34,235 by paying you for your services! 597 00:43:34,268 --> 00:43:36,971 - You don't have the money. - I'll sell my pontoon! 598 00:43:37,005 --> 00:43:39,041 You killed my unborn child. 599 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,878 - I'll sell my pontoon. - You mean the museum's pontoon. 600 00:43:43,911 --> 00:43:47,782 Ha-ha! Very funny, Nedge the hedge. Right? 601 00:43:47,815 --> 00:43:49,850 What kind of services are you even talking about? 602 00:43:49,884 --> 00:43:51,552 Security of my life. 603 00:43:51,585 --> 00:43:52,953 The weapon's bag is in the graveyard. 604 00:43:52,987 --> 00:43:54,155 And we're not weapons experts. 605 00:43:54,188 --> 00:43:55,923 I don't care about any of that! 606 00:43:55,956 --> 00:43:58,292 Look, I'm going to be going up against a lot of moving parts 607 00:43:58,326 --> 00:44:00,028 in the near future. 608 00:44:00,061 --> 00:44:02,998 I need trustworthy, reliable, dependable people by my side. 609 00:44:03,030 --> 00:44:04,431 Besides, you know the old adage: 610 00:44:04,465 --> 00:44:06,201 "Six pairs of eyes are better than two." 611 00:44:06,233 --> 00:44:07,869 Not an old adage. 612 00:44:07,902 --> 00:44:10,838 You mean: "Three pairs of eyes are better than one." 613 00:44:10,871 --> 00:44:13,875 Yes, if I were Ashcroft and only had one pair of eyes, 614 00:44:13,907 --> 00:44:15,277 that would be correct. 615 00:44:15,309 --> 00:44:17,311 But I have two pairs of eyes and there are two of you, 616 00:44:17,344 --> 00:44:19,980 so that makes it six pairs of eyes. 617 00:44:20,014 --> 00:44:23,218 You know one pair of eyes makes two eyeballs? 618 00:44:23,251 --> 00:44:25,519 A pear is also a fruit, Nedge. 619 00:44:25,552 --> 00:44:29,857 In that case, yes, a pair of pears would be two pear. 620 00:44:29,891 --> 00:44:33,461 Two pairs of two pears would be four pears. 621 00:44:33,494 --> 00:44:36,264 No! There would be two pear. 622 00:44:36,297 --> 00:44:39,501 - Two pairs of pears? - No! 623 00:44:39,534 --> 00:44:42,971 - Or two pear. - Yes, that's right. 624 00:44:43,003 --> 00:44:48,309 As if you're describing the plural form of "pear"... 625 00:44:48,342 --> 00:44:50,911 In its singular form! 626 00:44:50,945 --> 00:44:53,615 Oh! So you think "pear" is like "deer"? 627 00:44:53,648 --> 00:44:55,383 Or "lamb". 628 00:44:55,416 --> 00:44:59,187 No! A pear is a fruit! 629 00:44:59,219 --> 00:45:00,955 Bye, Seafield. 630 00:45:35,456 --> 00:45:37,593 Aargh... Aargh! 631 00:45:41,396 --> 00:45:43,398 You killed me. 632 00:45:43,431 --> 00:45:47,168 'The wandering cursed spirit will not rest 633 00:45:47,201 --> 00:45:53,574 'until it brings the cursee's life to a resounding end.' 634 00:46:12,427 --> 00:46:14,930 Oh, my God, what's that? 635 00:46:16,331 --> 00:46:18,166 What...? 636 00:46:44,726 --> 00:46:47,028 'Next stop: Lighthouse Island.' 637 00:47:24,097 --> 00:47:27,201 'Prepare for arrival at Lighthouse Island.' 638 00:48:16,083 --> 00:48:17,451 Captain? 639 00:48:22,456 --> 00:48:24,324 Captain? 640 00:48:26,193 --> 00:48:28,063 Captain? 641 00:48:29,362 --> 00:48:31,500 Uh... Captain? 642 00:48:35,702 --> 00:48:37,304 Captain? 643 00:48:38,806 --> 00:48:40,708 Yep, this is a phantom ship. 644 00:48:54,155 --> 00:48:57,259 Milwaukee? We're going backwards. 645 00:49:00,128 --> 00:49:03,097 Gotta turn this bird around. 646 00:49:08,802 --> 00:49:12,639 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, you're a stinker, it's true 647 00:49:12,672 --> 00:49:16,543 ♪ You put forty odd bullets through your favorite nephew 648 00:49:16,577 --> 00:49:20,582 ♪ You ran from the battle, your men never get paid 649 00:49:20,614 --> 00:49:23,250 ♪ And down in the black of your past 650 00:49:23,284 --> 00:49:26,788 ♪ Lurks a mean old sea hag 651 00:49:31,925 --> 00:49:36,297 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, you're a thief and a cheat 652 00:49:36,329 --> 00:49:40,335 ♪ You broke into my lodging and stole my good meat 653 00:49:40,367 --> 00:49:44,304 ♪ You made eyes at me daughter, you sullied my wife 654 00:49:44,338 --> 00:49:48,643 ♪ You're a damn drunken devil and the best friend... ♪ 655 00:49:58,318 --> 00:50:01,456 Pure intuition! Ha-ha-ha! 656 00:50:23,577 --> 00:50:25,413 Aargh! 657 00:50:42,230 --> 00:50:43,597 Alright. 658 00:50:44,331 --> 00:50:45,833 Hmm... Ah... 659 00:50:51,938 --> 00:50:53,807 Alright... 660 00:51:02,949 --> 00:51:04,851 Urgh... 661 00:51:04,885 --> 00:51:06,854 Uh...? 662 00:51:06,887 --> 00:51:08,456 No. 663 00:51:09,023 --> 00:51:11,358 Uh... ah... 664 00:51:12,460 --> 00:51:16,431 Ah... hmm... 665 00:51:16,463 --> 00:51:18,967 Ah, God, I wish I was a sea captain. 666 00:51:21,768 --> 00:51:23,237 Ah... 667 00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:29,476 Shit! Oh! 668 00:51:36,717 --> 00:51:37,818 Shit. 669 00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,270 Perhaps this will do... 670 00:51:59,039 --> 00:52:01,775 Oh! Success! 671 00:52:10,818 --> 00:52:12,787 Ah, here we are. 672 00:52:16,791 --> 00:52:18,260 Yes! 673 00:52:40,614 --> 00:52:42,550 Hello, Ashcroft! Wh...? 674 00:52:53,059 --> 00:52:54,929 Seafield... 675 00:52:56,097 --> 00:52:58,900 There's something I have to tell you. 676 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,371 The reason we don't have a mother 677 00:53:03,403 --> 00:53:08,543 is because she was harpooned to death by our father. 678 00:53:24,692 --> 00:53:26,427 Who wants fish sticks? 679 00:53:26,460 --> 00:53:28,530 Not now, Martha! 680 00:53:46,746 --> 00:53:49,817 'Go to the catacombs.' 681 00:55:09,996 --> 00:55:11,899 Ghost Army! 682 00:55:27,715 --> 00:55:30,885 Father... is dead. 683 00:55:32,286 --> 00:55:35,722 Ashcroft is also dead. 684 00:55:35,755 --> 00:55:37,157 Monster cut his head off. 685 00:55:37,190 --> 00:55:39,593 I did not want to ask for your help, 686 00:55:39,626 --> 00:55:41,962 but now I'm running short on time. 687 00:55:43,630 --> 00:55:46,967 Anyways... uh... 688 00:55:49,269 --> 00:55:51,239 What I got here? 689 00:55:55,809 --> 00:55:58,813 My life I vow... 690 00:55:59,847 --> 00:56:01,182 ...if you help me now. 691 00:56:07,820 --> 00:56:09,023 Anyone? 692 00:56:10,757 --> 00:56:14,495 My life I vow... if you help me now. 693 00:56:17,998 --> 00:56:21,202 There's one. Yes, yes. Alright. 694 00:56:21,235 --> 00:56:26,274 Oh, we have two! Who's next? Right here. Alright. 695 00:56:26,306 --> 00:56:29,276 Yes, yes, yes! 696 00:56:29,309 --> 00:56:33,648 Yes. Come! Follow me, Ghost Army! 697 00:57:30,637 --> 00:57:32,672 Go get 'em, boys! 698 00:58:03,237 --> 00:58:04,639 Well? 699 00:58:42,242 --> 00:58:44,746 You're not good at this game, Mr. Ghost. 700 00:58:46,947 --> 00:58:49,849 'This is Ghost 4 coming in on can 2. 701 00:58:49,882 --> 00:58:52,185 'Like I said, this is Ghost 4 coming in on can 2.' 702 00:58:52,219 --> 00:58:55,121 Can you read me? Seafield, we are having trouble down here. 703 00:58:55,155 --> 00:58:57,191 Troop leaders getting demolished by this thing. 704 00:58:57,224 --> 00:58:59,994 We were not prepared for the magnitude of this hellish beast. 705 00:59:00,027 --> 00:59:02,396 Oh! Oh, good God! 706 00:59:02,429 --> 00:59:06,099 Oh! Oh, Seafield, we need to reassess our plan. 707 00:59:06,132 --> 00:59:09,069 We're losing a lot of good ghosts. And we need a moment... 708 00:59:14,942 --> 00:59:17,744 The battle wages on. Your move. 709 00:59:27,521 --> 00:59:32,159 You're worse than Martha. And she's senile. 710 00:59:32,192 --> 00:59:34,027 Uh? 711 00:59:46,472 --> 00:59:48,809 It was a massacre. 712 01:00:03,891 --> 01:00:07,094 'Stop sending daddy's Ghost Army. 713 01:00:07,126 --> 01:00:09,463 Come fight me yourself!' 714 01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,463 What...? 715 01:01:17,097 --> 01:01:19,500 - Oh! - Die! 716 01:01:51,565 --> 01:01:53,400 A-ha-ha! 717 01:03:11,744 --> 01:03:15,148 Uh? 718 01:03:57,690 --> 01:03:59,759 Oh... 719 01:04:59,686 --> 01:05:02,088 Must be imagining things. 720 01:05:09,728 --> 01:05:11,131 What are you doing? 721 01:05:12,599 --> 01:05:14,035 What? 722 01:05:16,103 --> 01:05:17,371 What? 723 01:05:18,871 --> 01:05:20,840 Monster? 724 01:05:20,873 --> 01:05:23,076 In there? 725 01:05:27,313 --> 01:05:29,148 No! No, no, no, no. 726 01:05:29,181 --> 01:05:31,150 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on one second. Wait, wait, wait. 727 01:05:31,184 --> 01:05:33,253 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 728 01:05:33,286 --> 01:05:35,489 No, no, no, Mr. Ghost, you go in there first. 729 01:05:35,521 --> 01:05:37,623 I vowed my life to you people. 730 01:05:37,657 --> 01:05:40,760 Now, get in there and make something happen. 731 01:05:40,793 --> 01:05:42,496 I believe in you. 732 01:06:02,882 --> 01:06:04,451 Shh! 733 01:06:15,394 --> 01:06:17,364 Ooh! 734 01:06:17,396 --> 01:06:19,565 Shh! Shh! 735 01:06:19,599 --> 01:06:21,702 Jesus! Goddamnit! 736 01:07:25,498 --> 01:07:26,867 Father. 737 01:07:58,530 --> 01:08:01,634 All out of patsies are we, darling? 738 01:08:04,704 --> 01:08:06,539 Sea hag! 739 01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:09,775 I shall have my revenge! 740 01:08:09,809 --> 01:08:12,746 For my brother! 741 01:08:14,748 --> 01:08:19,386 Well, that was my revenge for my unborn child! 742 01:08:19,418 --> 01:08:22,855 Well, that was my revenge for my father! 743 01:08:28,295 --> 01:08:31,364 Well, that was my revenge... 744 01:08:31,398 --> 01:08:33,567 for your father... 745 01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:36,737 harpooning my mother to death! 746 01:08:39,572 --> 01:08:42,542 Oh, boo-hoo, he harpooned my mother, too. 747 01:08:44,978 --> 01:08:46,680 Come here, baby... 748 01:08:56,055 --> 01:09:00,560 Seafield, he harpooned my mother and your mother. 749 01:09:02,028 --> 01:09:04,431 Seafield... 750 01:09:04,463 --> 01:09:06,899 we have the same parents. 751 01:09:13,472 --> 01:09:15,376 Try to remember. 752 01:09:26,353 --> 01:09:28,555 Blasphemy! 753 01:09:28,587 --> 01:09:31,024 - What...? - Liar! 754 01:09:40,466 --> 01:09:42,036 Damn! 755 01:10:05,492 --> 01:10:08,962 Uh... you must be a visual learner. 756 01:10:16,970 --> 01:10:21,408 'Yes, we are kin, Seafield. 757 01:10:21,440 --> 01:10:23,577 'When the three of us were little, 758 01:10:23,609 --> 01:10:26,145 'our father was a drunkard. 759 01:10:26,179 --> 01:10:28,849 'Every night after work, he would get hammered 760 01:10:28,881 --> 01:10:32,152 'and head to the lake to see our hideous sea monster mother, 761 01:10:32,185 --> 01:10:35,822 'and love her for who she was. 762 01:10:35,854 --> 01:10:41,427 'But one day, he went to the liquor store at 12:05, 763 01:10:41,461 --> 01:10:43,963 'five minutes after closing, 764 01:10:43,997 --> 01:10:49,101 'and could not purchase any ice-cold Milwaukee brews. 765 01:10:49,135 --> 01:10:53,105 'He went home sober. 766 01:10:53,139 --> 01:10:55,876 'Upon seeing his wife through sober eyes for the first time, 767 01:10:55,908 --> 01:10:57,911 'he was shocked at her disgusting face 768 01:10:57,944 --> 01:11:00,046 'and immediately harpooned her, 769 01:11:00,078 --> 01:11:04,583 'leaving the three of us without a mother. 770 01:11:04,617 --> 01:11:06,485 'I have no patience for men 771 01:11:06,519 --> 01:11:09,756 'who come home sober and beat their wives. 772 01:11:09,788 --> 01:11:11,724 'So when I came of killing age, 773 01:11:11,757 --> 01:11:14,027 'I took vengeance upon the old man. 774 01:11:14,060 --> 01:11:17,664 'This gave me peace. 775 01:11:17,697 --> 01:11:21,734 'Now, I want to put our violent past behind us. 776 01:11:21,768 --> 01:11:25,639 'So I birthed a child by the naked swimming man. 777 01:11:25,671 --> 01:11:27,506 'But you rejected this peace offering 778 01:11:27,539 --> 01:11:29,576 'and killed your own nephew, 779 01:11:29,609 --> 01:11:33,680 'so I settled the score with Ashcroft. 780 01:11:33,712 --> 01:11:37,183 'Now that we are even once more, I ask you...' 781 01:11:42,255 --> 01:11:48,127 Brother, let us make peace and end this cycle of vengeance. 782 01:12:01,707 --> 01:12:03,777 Come here, big sis! 783 01:12:03,810 --> 01:12:06,546 Oh! Come here, little bro! 784 01:12:06,578 --> 01:12:10,483 - I'm sorry! - I'm sorry, too! 785 01:12:10,516 --> 01:12:13,220 - Bring it in! - Bring it in. 786 01:12:33,139 --> 01:12:35,509 I didn't believe your story for a second! 787 01:12:35,542 --> 01:12:38,545 It's true! I'm not lying! 788 01:12:38,578 --> 01:12:40,146 It's all lies! 789 01:12:40,179 --> 01:12:45,118 Everyone knows Milwaukee liquor stores close at 9:00 not 12:00! 790 01:12:45,150 --> 01:12:49,188 Seafield, I'm your sister. How could you kill your own...? 791 01:12:49,221 --> 01:12:52,192 Wait... 9:00? 792 01:12:52,225 --> 01:12:56,029 - 9:00pm? - Yeah, I know. 793 01:12:57,697 --> 01:13:00,300 That's just so early. 794 01:13:00,332 --> 01:13:02,301 I know, I know. It's actually ridiculous. 795 01:13:02,335 --> 01:13:04,671 I want to hear their reasoning on that, you know. 796 01:13:04,703 --> 01:13:07,072 Granted. I think we would all appreciate that. 797 01:13:07,105 --> 01:13:09,576 I mean, I don't have the numbers in front of me... 798 01:13:09,609 --> 01:13:11,578 - Well... - How is that... I mean... 799 01:13:11,610 --> 01:13:12,778 Who's that helping? 800 01:13:12,811 --> 01:13:15,215 I honestly think the idea is that, uh... 801 01:13:15,247 --> 01:13:18,918 people will go out to bars and restaurants, spend money. 802 01:13:18,952 --> 01:13:20,820 Help support the local economy, 803 01:13:20,853 --> 01:13:22,855 I think that's where their heads are at, anyways. 804 01:13:25,257 --> 01:13:27,560 Maybe. 805 01:13:27,594 --> 01:13:30,630 Maybe, huh... Some of these ordinances, I tell you. 806 01:13:30,662 --> 01:13:32,298 Some of these ordinances, indeed. 807 01:13:32,332 --> 01:13:34,935 - Huh! - Hmm... 808 01:13:38,871 --> 01:13:41,307 And now to get my revenge! 809 01:13:43,676 --> 01:13:45,745 I've avenged you, father! 810 01:13:45,778 --> 01:13:48,148 I am a hero! 811 01:13:48,180 --> 01:13:50,550 Everyone, take heed! 812 01:13:55,822 --> 01:13:58,225 Ah... Oh... 813 01:14:08,234 --> 01:14:10,037 Thank you. 814 01:14:11,738 --> 01:14:13,606 Aargh! Ow! 815 01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:16,209 Thank you for avenging me. 816 01:14:20,012 --> 01:14:22,649 Oh... ha-ha-ha! 817 01:14:22,681 --> 01:14:26,319 Rest in peace, Sean Shaughnessy. 818 01:15:16,674 --> 01:15:21,674 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 819 01:15:24,077 --> 01:15:28,681 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, the monster, you say 820 01:15:28,715 --> 01:15:32,786 ♪ Rose up from the depths, and men started to pray 821 01:15:32,819 --> 01:15:37,123 ♪ Your father stood bravely with harpoon in hand 822 01:15:37,155 --> 01:15:44,030 ♪ And that was the last that anyone's seen of the man 823 01:15:48,935 --> 01:15:53,740 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, with your old man long gone 824 01:15:53,773 --> 01:15:57,743 ♪ You sure found some trouble and it didn't take long 825 01:15:57,777 --> 01:16:01,980 ♪ You assembled a fine crew of misfits and scum 826 01:16:02,014 --> 01:16:04,884 ♪ So roll up your sleeves, you skullduggers 827 01:16:04,917 --> 01:16:08,689 ♪ And mind you the rum 828 01:16:13,391 --> 01:16:18,497 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, he went off to sea 829 01:16:18,530 --> 01:16:22,868 ♪ He came back no captain, though pretended to be 830 01:16:22,902 --> 01:16:26,872 ♪ He said he'd found treasure on far distant shore 831 01:16:26,905 --> 01:16:29,876 ♪ But all he could show was some crabs 832 01:16:29,908 --> 01:16:33,412 ♪ He caught from a whore 833 01:16:44,390 --> 01:16:49,195 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, he stumbled the world 834 01:16:49,228 --> 01:16:53,298 ♪ And told his lying brags down to every sweet girl 835 01:16:53,332 --> 01:16:57,837 ♪ He'll try to impress you with maps and with charts 836 01:16:57,869 --> 01:17:01,140 ♪ But truly his gift is to clear out the bar 837 01:17:01,173 --> 01:17:04,010 ♪ With his farts 838 01:17:09,948 --> 01:17:14,253 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield, you're a wild game of chance 839 01:17:14,287 --> 01:17:18,324 ♪ His luck comes and goes like the moon and his pants 840 01:17:18,356 --> 01:17:22,561 ♪ You live by a code these damn pirates still swear 841 01:17:22,595 --> 01:17:25,498 ♪ The stray dogs, they love him for sure 842 01:17:25,530 --> 01:17:29,502 ♪ The cats, they beware 843 01:17:36,108 --> 01:17:40,113 ♪ Dear Old Captain Seafield! ♪ 61224

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