All language subtitles for K-9.S01E17.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The
Department's-- Department

restrooms are strictly--
Visitors are reminded not to--

K9: Have they ever had
a careers day before?

-That's why it's a once
in a lifetime opportunity.

K9: I don't like it.

-K9, hang back.

-We've never recruited
like this before.

-You keep saying
the Department needs

to be more open and transparent.

-And you've always rejected it.

-It's like water
on a stone, June.

Eventually it would
have some effect.

-Yes.

Over several lifetimes.

-Clearly your words
have a touch of acid.

ANNOUNCER: Visitors
are reminded to follow

their official
escorts at all times.

Department restrooms
are strictly--

-Hey.

ANNOUNCER: Visitors

to stray from the
official Department tour.

-We're starting to move.

K9: Take care in there.

-Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my privilege

to welcome you to the Department
on this unique occasion.

My name is Inspector Thorne.

Before we begin, let me run
you through a few rules.

There will be no stragglers.

There will be no
questions along the way.

Do you understand?

-Can we ask
questions at the end?

-I said no questions.

-Does this count as a question?

-Grow up, Starkey.

The Department is a
multi-national security

facility, offering career
opportunities in the UK,

the Americas, the Pacific
Union, and other lesser known

countries.

The same cutting edge technology
the Department developed

for the KZT Typhoon
Early Warning System

now also keeps us secure
on the domestic front.

This innovative technology--

-I knew he was a
creep, but I didn't

know he was a boring creep.

K9, where to now?

K9: Go back down the
corridor the way you came in.

Quite certain you want
to go on with this?

-Yes.
Get us to Thorne's office.

K9: Calculating quickest route.

I'll have it for
you in 2.3 seconds.

Turn right just ahead.

-CCPC.

K9: Is that the first
one you've seen?

-In here?

Yes.

K9: This is too good to be true.

Suggest you abort the mission.

-Negative, negative, negative.

Always so negative.
K9: Affirmative.

It matches with the Department.

Always.

Right again.
Just ahead.

-Yeah, come on.

Quick.

K9: Be quick.

-Go, go.

I've got the door.

-This looks interesting.

What's this?

K9: Don't touch
it, young master.

It's highly dangerous.
No, don't--

[scream]

-Starkey?

K9: Darius?

-Starkey.

K9: Darius, whatever you do,
don't look at the picture.

Take the picture and
get it back to Gryffen.

Don't look at it.

-Professor.

We were relying
on you to warn us.

-I warned you every
step of the way.

-Prof, we're in trouble.

Well, Starkey's in more
trouble than the rest of us.

He's been sucked
into thing, um--

-A library card from Ukko.

-Hey, no, don't!
Don't look at it.

You'll be sucked in there, too.

-K9, could you bring
you up to speed on this?

Slowly.

-Starkey used the careers day
to get into the Department.

Darius and Starkey gained access
to Thorne's office too easily

for my liking, discovered this,
and when Starkey looked at it,

he disappeared inside it.

-What a stupid,
dangerous, hare-brained--

-I did try to warn them.

I think it was a set up.

-By Thorne?

-Affirmative.

-What's our next step?

-We need a mirror.

-Sir.

-How exactly did two
kids manage to escape

from a secure
building in the city?

-Sir, our orders were to give
them the run of the place

so they would find their
way to your office.

-I know what your orders were.
I gave them.

I was just hoping that when
they stole a precious artifact

and a run for it, you
might have at least asked

them why they were
in such a hurry.

-Sir, until you countermand
your order, we let them--

-Here's an order I
won't countermand.

Get ready to ship out.

-Sir?

-You're going the Mortalian
Mines-- for the next 20 years.

Dismissed.
-Yes, sir.

-Is that Starkey?

-Of course it is.

-He's so far away.

-Is there anybody out there?

Anybody?

K9?
Jorjie?

Gryffen?

Darius?
K9!

-K9?

How does it work?

-I have only fragmented data.

The Ukkans are a
race of librarians

who have completely mastered--

-K9!

-Or should I say
mistressed, since they're

all woman, the art of archiving.

They can reduce a whole world
to an infinitely compressed

hologram, which they
file in their archives

as a library card.

-But why do they do it?

-Because nobody else will.

They're preserving endangered
planets in holographic form.

-And this is such a card?

-This is the library card
of the barren planet Irlick.

-Are you saying inside that
frame is a whole world?

-It's like when you zip
a file on a computer,

you squash the data.

-So how do we get Starkey out?

-We would have to
speak to a librarian.

-How do we do that?

-I don't know.

-So Starkey could be
trapped in there forever?

-Can I have a word?

-It's always a pleasure, June.

-I've just received a heads
up from our alien technology

infantry.

Did you or did you not
uplift an Ukkan library card?

-That's an interesting
way of putting it.

-What are you doing with it?

-I'm exploring its properties
for use by the Department.

Something you yourself
should have been onto.

-It's an extremely
dangerous alien artifact.

We've already lost
three scientists.

-The subject I'm using
is completely expendable.

-Is that the base of the card?

-I believe it is.

-Where's the card?

-Is that light blinking faster?

-Affirmative.

-Right.

[doorbell]

-Darius, get the door?

[cough]

-Who-- who who--
uh, who are you?

-You sound like an owl.

But you're a boy, aren't you?

-No, I know what I
am, but what are you?

-She's exactly what
we're looking for.

Please, come in.

-Thank you.

-Welcome.

I'm Professor Gryffen.

-I am Yssaringtintinka.

Well, this place
needs a good tidy up.

Not to say cataloging.

-Yeah.

Well, your timing is impeccable.

We need your assistance to--

-No, no, no, no!

-Oh, I've become
immune over millenia.

It's all right.

I won't export you.

This is Irlick, the last planet
of the Kantorkian galaxy.

Taken from our archives
by Huskian pirates.

Is there somebody in there?

-Yes.
A boy.

-Oh, dear.

-We are afraid for his safety.

-Well, my concern is for
the planet, not the boy.

The risk of contamination is--

-Contamination?

-If this boy leaves
anything behind--

-She means if--

-I know what she means.

-Sorry.

-Does the contaminant
have a name?

-His name is Starkey.

And I would rather you didn't
refer to him as a contaminant.

-Can you get him out?

-Where's t plinth.

-That's all we have.

-The card should have a bed.

I can extract him
using the retriever,

but only if the card
is on the plinth.

K9: It's still in
the Department.

-Well, come on, everybody.

Let's go get it.

-I'm afraid the
Department doesn't like

people just dropping
in unannounced.

-Can I look into
the card with these?

-And you'll be able to talk
to the contaminant, too.

I suggest everybody
puts them on.

-Should I, um,
tell him that, too?

-Yes.
Would you?

-Hey, Starkey.

-Darius?

Is that you?

-Yeah, and K9's right beside me.

-Hey, K9.

Miss ya, fella.

-Affirmative to the nth degree.

-Darius, can you get
me something to drink?

It's really hot
in here, and I've

only got a small
bottle of water.

-Ah, no can do.

It's probably not a
good idea, anyway.

You're n allowed to, um,
leave anything behind.

-Anything?

-Nothing from inside you.

-Oh.

OK.

-He's dying of thirst in there.

We're going to have
to get him out fast.

-Thirst is the least
of his worries.

The cards have a
fail-safe feature.

The portal closes
after two hours.

-After two hours?

-It's customary to knock.

-I've just been to see Lomax.

He says you'd better
have a good explanation

for interfering in
alien technology.

-Oh, I have a good explanation.

As the forces of chaos
increase, our prisons

are bursting at the seams.

I want to use Ukkan technology
to put all the lifers

in a prison that
requires no upkeep.

No wardens, no exercise
yard, no ping pong

tables, no parole, no nothing.

We warehouse them forever.

We don't even need to
lock them in at night.

-You're insane.

-Insane?

Maybe.

But in charge?

Certainly.

-In charge?

So where's the card?

-Not far away.

-That's good.

Because Lomax wants
it back within 12

hours, or your resignation.
Your choice.

-Starkey's in there.

-Terrible, isn't it?

Irlick is so fragile.

-Well, we've got to get him out.

-We need to do a
deal with Thorne.

We'll offer him the
card, as long as he gives

us the plinth to
get Starkey out.

-K9's right.

We've got to work the angles.

-He'll never keep his
side of the bargain.

-Well, if he's gonna lie to
us, you'll have to lie to him.

-Me?

-You'll have to
do it, professor.

-I don't like lying.

-It's for a good cause.

-I'm aware of that,
but I'm a scientist.

And science is the
pursuit of truth.

Perhaps there's another way.

-I'm a machine.

The truth is just
software, isn't it?

-I don't understand
why you're so

careful with the truth when
your house is so messy.

-That doesn't make any sense.

-Tidiness comes before truth.

-Professor, the
clock is ticking.

Please?

[ringing]

GRYFFEN: Thorne.

-You've got something of
mine, and I want it back.

-Go on.

-If I come and take it from
you, people will get hurt.

So I'm offering you the
chance of handing it over.

-Let me outline how
everything stands,

so we're all on the same page.

Fact.

You have stumbled onto a
technology you want to exploit,

and you don't know how.

So you set up an entrapment.

Fact.

You can do nothing
with the technology

unless you have
more information.

How am I doing?

-Why am I talking
to a robot dog?

-Because I am your best
and only option, and I

can sweeten the deal.

-Go on.

-We've come by goggles
which will protect you

from being sucked into the card.

-Interesting.

-And we can offer you
an Ukkan librarian

as a consultant on
an exclusive basis.

THORNE: Who is this librarian?

-My name is Yssaringtintinka.

Who are you, you ugly, bony man?

-You're no oil
painting, yourself.

-So, do we have a
deal, Inspector Thorne?

-I'm really angry you didn't
tell me earlier about Starkey.

-He didn't want to
let onto you about

being in the
Department because--

-Because I would have
wanted to join in?

-Exactly.

See?

-Can I just have a
look at the picture

to make sure he's all right?

-It's too hazardous, Jorjie.

-Well, what about these
interruptor goggles?

-The librarian disabled them.

-Why?

So now what?

-I want to see the card.

-Don't you trust us, inspector?

-I wouldn't take it personally.

I don't trust anybody.

-Come and feast your eyes.

-Won't I need
interruptor goggles?

-Where are my manners?

Clean slipped my mind.

-Inspect this, inspector.

[scream]

-The goggles [inaudible]!
-Happy landings!

-Double crossed us.

Look who's talking.
-Big surprise.

-Please don't do that.

-Neat is best.

-I like it my way.

-You Earthlings are so untidy.

GRYFFEN: June?

-You're going to need me
to get into the Department.

And you must be--

-Yssaringtintinka.
-Hello.

I'm June.

You've come a rather
long way, I hear.

-Yuko is Forten Dendorum
Parysingosel's way.

-Yes, I bet it is.

-You know what this place is?

-It's hot, and it
stinks like rotten eggs.

-It's gonna be a prison colony.

Guess who the first inmate is?

-Surprise me.

-You.

-You're the second?

JUNE: Thorne, it's me.

June.

-Get me out of here!

-I don't think you're
in a position to demand.

I'll be going into your office
to get the base of the card.

-Inspector!

Don't make me angry.

-Be polite, or
you'll be in there

for the term of
your natural life.

-You going to drink all of that?

-Planning to.

-I'm thirsty, too.

-Tell someone who cares.

-You've got no
gratitude, have you?

-Who to?

-If it weren't for me
and the Department,

there'd be nothing left
for you to rebel against.

-I'll tell you what
I'd be grateful for.

-Come on.

-If you'd dress better.

That shirt is so skanky.

-You ill-mannered brat.

-I mean, you look like you're
selling funeral insurance.

K9: Uh, miss, uh,
Yssaringtintinka?

We've only got three minutes
before the portal closes.

-You can't hurry
this sort of work.

Where they stand is
crucial for the extraction

to be successful.

-Ah, ah, ah.

-Give me the water.

Now.

-Or what?

You'll put me in prison
on an uninhabited planet?

-Can you two knock
off the arguing?

We're trying to get
you out of there.

-Move right.

-My right?

-Your right.

-Come on, move it.

And by the way, it's
my right, not yours.

-Both of you, stop it.

-Everyone's right.

-It's not working.

Move all the way to the left.

-Are you toying with me?

-Come on, let's go.

-No.

K9: Please expedite matters.

Less than two minutes to go.

-Inspector, do what
the librarian says.

She holds all the cards.

Do you realize that?

-You like this place?

YSSARINGTINTINKA: Hold it there.

-You must hurry.

Portal closing, 40 seconds.

-It doesn't like two
separate entities.

Could you put your arms around
each other and become one?

-What did she say?

-Just do it, inspector!

-Come on.

Doesn't mean we're going
steady, or anything.

Come on.

Have you been eating onions?

Garlic?

-10 seconds.

-I suggest that
we all step back.

-I am going to have
you all arrested.

-Thorne.
Is that your name?

If I hear that you have harmed
any of these good people,

I will erase you.

-Can you do that?

-And there's another thing
I take very seriously.

Overdue library cards.

And you're way
overdue with Irlick.

You deserve erasing
for that alone.

-I didn't get a reminder notice.

-Don't push me.

You humans don't deserve
this lovely planet.

-Ah, that's better.

-You've made such a mess of it.

-Oh, um, thanks very
much, library lady.

-It was a pleasure
retrieving you.

I can't say the same for
this ugly, bony man here.

I've got my eye on you.

Show me out, please.

Why don't you come back with me?

We're short of men on Ukko.

-I'm tempted, but uh-- the
tidy thing might be a problem.

-Are you sure?

-I am tempted, but I'll pass.
Thank you.

-So, did you miss me?

-I'm a cybernetic robot.

I do not experience emotion.

Much.
-Whatever you say.

K9, do you mind?
-Sorry.

-I missed you.

[theme music]