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1
00:00:05,636 --> 00:00:10,276
♪ Loofah here, loofah there
2
00:00:10,281 --> 00:00:10,741
♪ Loofah, loofah everyw... ♪
3
00:00:13,144 --> 00:00:15,594
(SCREAMS)
4
00:00:15,586 --> 00:00:17,316
(LIZARD SCREECHING)
5
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:20,188
Ooh! Ooh, ooh! Ooh!
6
00:00:20,191 --> 00:00:22,291
(SCREAMING)
7
00:00:22,293 --> 00:00:24,733
Open up the hangar,
here comes the airplane!
8
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,055
(IMITATES WHIRRING)
9
00:00:28,099 --> 00:00:30,299
Ravi, do Kipling's
babies have to eat
10
00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:32,131
every meal with us?
11
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,343
Not that we don't enjoy
their little footprints
in the butter.
12
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,035
Now if I could
just train them
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,667
to jump in the jam and
scurry across my toast.
14
00:00:41,512 --> 00:00:43,642
What is this?
15
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,384
Aw,
16
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:48,116
one of my little treasures
has shed its skin!
17
00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:49,449
They grow up so fast.
18
00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:52,552
Mmm.
19
00:00:55,486 --> 00:00:57,186
Yeah, I thought this bacon
was a little scaly.
20
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,260
And yet, you ate it.
21
00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:04,474
(ALL GAGGING)
22
00:01:05,636 --> 00:01:07,836
EMMA: Ew!
23
00:01:07,838 --> 00:01:10,438
This is the most
disturbing thing
I've ever seen!
24
00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:11,241
(SCREAMING)
25
00:01:14,645 --> 00:01:16,805
Second most disturbing thing.
26
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,348
Still number one for me.
27
00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:22,410
And I helped
a Texas Longhorn
give birth.
28
00:01:22,413 --> 00:01:24,393
I really earned
that merit badge.
29
00:01:25,516 --> 00:01:29,256
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
30
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:32,790
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
31
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,473
♪ It feels like a party
every day
32
00:01:36,467 --> 00:01:39,167
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
33
00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:43,530
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
34
00:01:43,534 --> 00:01:47,114
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
35
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,777
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
36
00:01:50,781 --> 00:01:53,541
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
37
00:01:53,544 --> 00:01:57,894
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
38
00:01:57,888 --> 00:02:01,518
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
39
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,622
♪ Hey Jessie
40
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,534
♪ Hey Jessie
41
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:12,499
♪ It feels like a party
every day
42
00:02:12,503 --> 00:02:16,343
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
43
00:02:21,572 --> 00:02:24,142
Okay, I called
this family meeting
44
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,584
because there seems to be
some unspoken tension
about Ravi's lizards.
45
00:02:26,577 --> 00:02:29,617
And by unspoken,
I mean endless loud whining.
46
00:02:31,682 --> 00:02:33,282
Ravi, would you
care to respond?
47
00:02:33,284 --> 00:02:34,234
(SNORING)
48
00:02:41,332 --> 00:02:43,692
My babies complete me.
I have never been happier.
49
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,797
Poor Ravi. You look like
a sleep-deprived raccoon.
50
00:02:48,799 --> 00:02:52,569
And not in a good,
high-fashion way.
51
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,613
I cannot cope!
52
00:02:54,605 --> 00:02:55,845
Why did no one tell me
53
00:02:55,846 --> 00:02:58,406
parenthood
would be like this?
54
00:02:58,409 --> 00:03:04,219
If kids came with warnings,
I'd have been out of here
a long time ago.
55
00:03:04,215 --> 00:03:06,355
If butlers came with warnings,
we would have hired a maid.
56
00:03:07,718 --> 00:03:11,188
Twelve tiny mouths
are eating my very soul!
57
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,791
I have no me time,
I have no yoga time,
58
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,804
and I have
no social life!
59
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,399
You can't put that one
on the lizards, buddy.
60
00:03:21,532 --> 00:03:22,972
True.
61
00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:25,483
I have but one person
to blame for my misery.
62
00:03:25,476 --> 00:03:26,576
Oh, Ravi, don't be
so hard on yourself.
63
00:03:26,577 --> 00:03:28,507
I am talking about you!
64
00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:32,510
You are the nanny here.
65
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,823
Child care
is your responsibility.
66
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,345
Human child care.
That's all I signed up for.
67
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,420
I have your contract
right here.
68
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,392
There is a lizard clause.
What?
69
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,425
Let me see that.
70
00:03:46,457 --> 00:03:47,797
"Lizard clause."
71
00:03:48,859 --> 00:03:50,699
Aha!
72
00:03:50,701 --> 00:03:54,411
"One giant Asian
water monitor."
73
00:03:54,405 --> 00:03:55,835
Hey! I'm supposed to get
two nights off per week?
74
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:59,436
When has that
ever happened?
75
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,970
How hard can it be
to babysit a few lizards?
76
00:04:02,973 --> 00:04:04,523
Ooh, light bulb!
77
00:04:07,278 --> 00:04:10,418
Zuri, I am prepared
to make you my
part-time lizard nanny
78
00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:15,391
at a highly
competitive rate of
one dollar per hour.
79
00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:17,426
Who do you think
you're dealing with?
Jessie?
80
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,290
Two bucks per hour.
Per lizard.
81
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,803
Deal!
82
00:04:24,795 --> 00:04:28,795
Murray's yoga workshop
with complimentary
vegan snacks, here I come!
83
00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:33,671
Aw, you're such
a cute little lizard.
84
00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:41,410
No!
85
00:04:41,412 --> 00:04:43,282
How are they
supposed to breathe?
86
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,823
Quit hovering!
87
00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:46,755
You're such a
helicopter parent.
88
00:04:48,959 --> 00:04:51,589
No! No!
89
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:56,002
Oh, you punctured my
most prized pantry pal!
(SOBBING)
90
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,866
Oh, farewell, freshness.
91
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,382
You really need
to make some friends.
92
00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:10,939
A movie under the stars.
93
00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:11,881
How romantic.
I know.
94
00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:15,724
PETEY: Hey, Jessie!
95
00:05:16,987 --> 00:05:18,787
Oh, hi, Petey.
96
00:05:18,789 --> 00:05:21,589
So, did the Ross'
get a new kid?
97
00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:25,402
What country
are you from,
little guy?
98
00:05:25,396 --> 00:05:27,896
I'm from
Hands-Off-The-Hair-Landia.
99
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:30,798
Huh. I would have
guessed Greece.
100
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,773
Petey, I want you to
meet my boyfriend Tony.
101
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:36,805
Oh, look,
the movie's starting.
See ya, pal.
102
00:05:39,069 --> 00:05:41,569
No way!
103
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:43,342
Monty Python
and the Holy Grail?
I love this movie!
104
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:43,973
Me too!
105
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,845
This is Peters.
106
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,777
Until further notice,
I'm on a 12-66.
What's that?
107
00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:51,450
Code for
bathroom break
108
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:52,882
with a high level
of difficulty.
109
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,763
That's anything
over three minutes.
110
00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:58,487
What's the code for
picnic-crashing?
111
00:05:58,489 --> 00:06:01,929
That's a 12-34,
if there's bears involved.
112
00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:09,097
(LAUGHS)
113
00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:11,399
I never get tired
of that movie.
114
00:06:11,402 --> 00:06:12,672
Wait, wait, wait.
What about the scene
115
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:13,873
with the Knights
who say Ni?
116
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,154
(LAUGHS)
I don't get it.
117
00:06:16,507 --> 00:06:17,947
BOTH: They say, "Ni!"
118
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:22,080
No, I mean I don't get
why he's still here.
119
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,112
If I took
a bathroom break
that long,
120
00:06:23,113 --> 00:06:26,863
they'd confiscate
my epaulets.
121
00:06:26,857 --> 00:06:28,817
I wish I could be
as funny as The Pythons.
122
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,160
You know,
123
00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:33,891
you should try
my improv class.
124
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,074
I mean, do you think
I was born this funny?
125
00:06:35,065 --> 00:06:36,995
I wasn't gonna say
anything, but yeah.
126
00:06:38,869 --> 00:06:40,529
I would love that, Petey!
127
00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:42,531
Oh, we're gonna have
so much fun!
128
00:06:42,533 --> 00:06:43,073
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
129
00:06:44,875 --> 00:06:46,535
Hello? Remember me?
130
00:06:46,537 --> 00:06:49,677
Oh. Right.
131
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,010
Thank you for the
wonderful date, Tony.
132
00:06:55,185 --> 00:06:56,485
I had a great time, too.
133
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:03,021
Okay, kids,
time for bed.
134
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,833
Aw, just five more minutes?
135
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,126
Scooter still has
the high score.
136
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,760
Wait! Stop it.
Come back here!
137
00:07:12,763 --> 00:07:14,033
Ah, the sauna
was delightful.
138
00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:18,707
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
139
00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:22,739
Why are my little angels up
past their bedtime?
140
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,683
You want them
to stay in bed?
Hand me that stapler.
141
00:07:25,676 --> 00:07:27,446
(GASPS)
142
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,117
You monster!
How could you?
143
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,650
Okay, okay, who
is being a monster?
144
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,083
Besides the actual
baby monsters.
145
00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:39,487
Zuri threatened to
staple my babies
to their beds!
146
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,190
Hey, did I ever
tell you kids
about my ex-boyfriend
147
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:43,531
who worked at
the mattress store?
148
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:46,844
He got fired for
sleeping on the job.
(LAUGHS)
149
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:47,767
See, 'cause he was
sleeping on the...
150
00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:51,699
It was his job...
151
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:54,612
Wait,
that gives me an idea!
152
00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:56,645
We can use
Jessie's love life
153
00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:57,147
to bore the little
suckers to sleep.
154
00:08:00,551 --> 00:08:02,611
Once upon a time,
155
00:08:02,613 --> 00:08:05,123
Jessie had
a lousy boyfriend
named Thadd.
156
00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:07,755
Was he the one with
the oddly hairless legs?
157
00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:09,718
No, that was Brad.
158
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,560
Thadd had
the big ears
and bad gas.
159
00:08:14,725 --> 00:08:15,825
Look! It worked!
160
00:08:15,826 --> 00:08:17,196
(SNORING)
161
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,669
You go for guys
with big ears
and bad gas?
162
00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:24,102
He had a car!
163
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:27,084
So, what I'm hearing is
I'm two for three right now.
164
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,946
Hi, Tony!
Did a package
come for me?
165
00:08:38,949 --> 00:08:40,819
I ordered 40
pairs of shoes
from PayMore.
166
00:08:41,892 --> 00:08:44,632
You know
you only have two feet?
167
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,825
Don't remind me.
168
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,128
Emma, I need advice.
169
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,160
Are you as good
with relationships
170
00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:52,931
as you are with shopping?
171
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,273
Well, shopping is
like my superpower.
172
00:08:55,265 --> 00:08:59,665
Butting into other
people's business
is more of a hobby.
173
00:08:59,670 --> 00:09:02,640
So have you noticed that
Jessie's been spending
174
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,553
a lot of time with this
Officer Petey character?
175
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,115
Oh, Tony, Petey's not
interested in Jessie.
176
00:09:08,118 --> 00:09:09,248
I'm surprised you are.
177
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:12,949
Have you seen her
eat barbecue? Ugh!
178
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,733
I sure have.
179
00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:18,026
I don't think you have
anything to worry about.
180
00:09:18,028 --> 00:09:20,288
But if you want,
I can do some
snooping around.
181
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:22,190
I know where
Jessie keeps her diary.
182
00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:25,042
I read it to put
myself to sleep.
183
00:09:25,035 --> 00:09:26,135
Thanks, Emma.
184
00:09:26,136 --> 00:09:27,736
My pleasure, Tony.
185
00:09:27,738 --> 00:09:29,568
You know
there isn't anything
I wouldn't do for...
186
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,239
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING) Shoes!
187
00:09:32,743 --> 00:09:33,673
See ya, Tommy!
188
00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:43,211
You do your improv
at the Twin Dragon
Noodle Cafe?
189
00:09:43,213 --> 00:09:43,853
And theater.
190
00:09:45,716 --> 00:09:49,156
Welcome to the
big time, kiddo.
191
00:09:49,159 --> 00:09:53,319
Now remember,
improv is just comedy
without a script.
192
00:09:53,323 --> 00:09:54,973
You make it up
as you go.
193
00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:57,295
There's only one rule.
Do you know what it is?
194
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,997
No.
Okay, you just broke it!
195
00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:03,900
No matter what,
you never say no.
196
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:08,314
Huh. That's how Bertram
feels about naps.
197
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:11,738
Okay, whenever someone
asks you a question,
the answer is always,
198
00:10:11,742 --> 00:10:13,912
"Yes, and..."
199
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:16,824
That way the scene
keeps going and
the ideas keep flowing.
200
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:20,847
Got it?
Yes, and...
That's all I got.
201
00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:23,851
Okay, new rule.
Be funny.
202
00:10:26,056 --> 00:10:26,856
Okay.
203
00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:35,042
My father was so upset
he just,
he couldn't stop crying.
204
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,305
Yes, and then
your mother said,
205
00:10:37,307 --> 00:10:38,307
"I'll give him something
to cry about."
206
00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:40,738
Excuse me?
207
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,341
Yes, and then
she slapped him!
208
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:42,772
(SOBBING)
209
00:10:43,814 --> 00:10:46,184
Oh! Oh!
Oh, we're not,
210
00:10:46,176 --> 00:10:49,116
we're not doing
improv right now, are we?
211
00:10:49,119 --> 00:10:50,319
No, I'm talking about
my grandma's funeral.
212
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,750
But good effort.
213
00:10:56,126 --> 00:10:59,286
Did you just make
Malcolm cry?
214
00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:02,329
Yes, and I'm pretty sure
I'm not gonna be invited
to his grandma's wake.
215
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,704
BERTRAM: So why the disguise?
216
00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:09,937
I do not want Zuri to know
I am spying on her.
217
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,900
Okay, but I think
the seven-foot lizard
might give you away.
218
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,913
(GROWLING)
219
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,348
Good afternoon, ladies.
220
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:22,011
(CHOMPING)
221
00:11:22,012 --> 00:11:23,952
(SCREAMS)
222
00:11:23,954 --> 00:11:25,324
Oh! Sorry about that.
223
00:11:25,315 --> 00:11:26,955
Scooter's teething.
224
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:28,287
(SCREAMS)
225
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,788
Don't worry. His saliva
is only a little toxic!
226
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:38,295
Zuri, I do not
want my babies
biting strangers.
227
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,428
We do not know
where they have been.
228
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,082
And why are my little ones
not wearing sunscreen?
229
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:48,905
Like they do
in the jungle?
230
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,309
No back talk, please.
It sets a bad example.
231
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:59,315
Now, Mrs. Kipling and I
are going to the groomer
to get our claws done.
232
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:02,849
Please be very careful with
her precious hatchlings.
233
00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:07,095
Oh, don't worry.
234
00:12:07,097 --> 00:12:09,457
I'll guard them
with my life.
235
00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:20,469
TONY: (ON INTERCOM)
Psst! Emma!
236
00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:23,171
God?
237
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:30,415
I know you're there
because I just got
40 pairs of new shoes!
238
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:32,480
It's me, Tony.
239
00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:34,422
Jessie's on her way up.
240
00:12:34,424 --> 00:12:36,494
Find out if she's
fallen in love with Petey,
241
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:38,756
planning to have five kids,
and move to New Jersey.
242
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,928
Don't be ridiculous.
Nobody moves to New Jersey.
243
00:12:44,394 --> 00:12:46,844
Hey, Jessie!
You look happy.
244
00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:48,837
Why?
245
00:12:48,839 --> 00:12:50,939
Because I had
a few hours off?
246
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:54,071
To which I am
contractually entitled.
247
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,454
We need to chat.
248
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,007
Whoa!
249
00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:02,849
Okay, once I had
a favorite pair of
peep-toe heels.
250
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:05,393
I loved them,
but then I got a cute
new pair of wedges,
251
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:09,015
which made my peep-Tonys,
I mean, my peep-toes
252
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,490
really jealous and sad,
253
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:16,172
which wasn't fair, because
they were cute and loyal
and meant for me.
254
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:19,196
Do you get
what I'm saying?
255
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,129
If you want your shoes back,
why don't you just ask?
256
00:13:22,532 --> 00:13:24,842
Here. There.
257
00:13:26,336 --> 00:13:28,236
Thanks for
stretching them out!
258
00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:30,108
They used to be
a size six.
259
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,240
Now a little old woman
could raise a family in them!
260
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,186
You think slinging
lemonade is tough?
261
00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:40,889
I'm running myself ragged,
262
00:13:40,891 --> 00:13:43,191
while Ravi's
at the nail salon
263
00:13:43,193 --> 00:13:45,533
sitting on his
penny-pinching,
lizard-loving...
264
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,495
(CLEAR THROAT)
265
00:13:47,497 --> 00:13:49,527
Oh, hi, boss!
266
00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:53,031
Nice manicure.
Shiny buff?
267
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,465
Where are my babies?
Uh, playing.
268
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:00,867
Playing where? With whom?
Do we know their parents?
269
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,941
Relax. The baby lizards
270
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,224
are right over there.
271
00:14:06,216 --> 00:14:08,976
You let them go?
Unleashed and unsupervised?
272
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,580
And now
you have lost them!
273
00:14:12,582 --> 00:14:14,622
(SCREAMING)
274
00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:17,587
Oh, I just remembered.
275
00:14:17,587 --> 00:14:19,627
They're over there.
276
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,261
Oh, and I just remembered,
277
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,874
you are fired,
like a tikka kebab
in a clay oven!
278
00:14:33,143 --> 00:14:35,483
Can you believe
how some people
treat their servants?
279
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,146
No, I can't.
280
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,480
Get me some peanuts.
281
00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:49,117
Jessie, how about
a movie later?
282
00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,219
Oh, I'd love to,
but I can't tonight.
283
00:14:51,221 --> 00:14:53,391
I'm doing my first ever
improv performance.
284
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,033
Oh. Is Petey
going to be there?
285
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:57,526
Of course.
Then I want to come.
286
00:14:58,228 --> 00:15:00,528
Oh.
287
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:02,430
Thanks, but
it's my first time
in front of an audience,
288
00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:04,032
and I'm already
kind of nervous.
289
00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,314
I'd rather wait until
I'm better for you to come.
290
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,176
Thank you
for understanding.
291
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,310
Did you see that?
She just blew me off.
292
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,453
Obviously,
she and Petey
are a thing!
293
00:15:15,445 --> 00:15:17,915
I guess she just prefers
a man in uniform.
294
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:18,047
You're wearing a uniform.
295
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:24,450
Oh, right. I should
point that out!
296
00:15:24,454 --> 00:15:27,334
Look, if you really
want to know what
Jessie and Petey are up to,
297
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,997
there's only
one way to find out.
298
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,400
You and I should
just sneak into the
performance ourselves
299
00:15:31,401 --> 00:15:33,161
and see how they act
when you're not there.
300
00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:35,513
But Jessie told me
not to come.
301
00:15:35,505 --> 00:15:37,035
Who cares what she says?
She's cheating on you!
302
00:15:38,068 --> 00:15:40,408
Just kidding.
Oh.
303
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:41,210
Probably.
304
00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:44,373
You're right.
We should go.
305
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,115
Wait!
306
00:15:46,116 --> 00:15:47,416
What if
we can't get tickets?
307
00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:49,977
It's a bunch of
unknowns doing improv
308
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:53,350
on a weeknight in the
back room of a noodle shop.
I doubt it's sold out.
309
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,030
Boy, it sure is hot here
310
00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:05,102
on the sun!
311
00:16:05,095 --> 00:16:05,335
We should've
come at night!
312
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,498
See?
They're just doing improv.
313
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,171
It's not romantic or funny.
314
00:16:16,746 --> 00:16:18,376
You ordered food?
315
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,048
A jealous rage can
work up an appetite!
316
00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:24,981
Hey, I like your spacesuit.
317
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,664
He can't
talk to her like that!
318
00:16:26,656 --> 00:16:30,056
Thanks, I got it
on sale at the
Zero Gravity Galleria.
319
00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:31,520
"Everything goes up
but our prices!"
320
00:16:35,725 --> 00:16:37,465
I don't know
what stinks worse,
321
00:16:37,467 --> 00:16:39,027
this scene
or those fish balls.
322
00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:41,670
Let's go.
323
00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:44,601
They're delicious,
and we're staying.
324
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:47,414
I need to make sure
no funny business happens.
325
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,677
The name of the troupe
is Noodle-Doodle-Do.
326
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:52,309
Trust me, nothing funny
is going to happen.
327
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,154
PETEY: Oh, thanks!
328
00:16:56,146 --> 00:16:57,786
Thanks so much!
329
00:16:57,787 --> 00:17:00,587
For our last scene,
we need an occupation.
330
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:02,020
Girlfriend-stealing cop!
331
00:17:03,193 --> 00:17:06,033
Way to be subtle.
332
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,255
Got it! Here is
a scene entitled
"Girlfriend-stealing Cop."
333
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,344
Oh!
334
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,366
(IMITATES ENGINE REVVING)
335
00:17:18,468 --> 00:17:19,408
(BOTH LAUGHING)
336
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:21,770
(IMITATING SIREN WAILING)
337
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:25,654
(KNOCKING)
338
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,215
(SQUEAKING)
339
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,278
Is this your girlfriend?
Sure is.
340
00:17:31,281 --> 00:17:33,321
Ha! I do not care!
I am French
and I am stealing her.
341
00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:37,655
Ooh, la, la!
Uh-huh-huh!
342
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:41,457
Step out of the car.
And let us dance.
343
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,431
One, two.
344
00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:44,693
I told you
he was a snake!
345
00:17:44,694 --> 00:17:47,444
He's only doing
what you suggested!
346
00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:50,268
Oh!
347
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,640
Ooh, Officer Pierre,
you're making me forget
all about my boyfriend!
348
00:17:52,642 --> 00:17:54,802
Uh-huh-huh!
What?
349
00:17:54,804 --> 00:17:56,654
I need a suggestion
for a body part!
350
00:17:56,646 --> 00:17:57,846
ALL: Face!
351
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,694
Tony, what are you doing?
352
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:06,415
We can't use props!
353
00:18:11,521 --> 00:18:14,161
Who is a cute little lizard?
You are.
354
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:22,097
Hmm, I suppose
you came to apologize.
355
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,831
You supposed wrong.
356
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:26,513
You owe me money.
So make it rain.
357
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,878
I will not even
make it drizzle!
358
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,780
You abandoned my poor,
defenseless lizards!
359
00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:36,494
Defenseless?
360
00:18:36,486 --> 00:18:39,416
They gnawed the wrinkles
off that old lady's face!
361
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,249
Because you were
not watching them!
362
00:18:42,252 --> 00:18:44,722
I trusted you with
their little lives!
363
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,764
Well, that was
your first mistake.
364
00:18:46,756 --> 00:18:50,456
To save time, I just keep
my goldfish in the toilet!
365
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,860
Until you apologize,
we are not speaking.
366
00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:56,242
And till you pay me,
we're not speaking.
367
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,506
Very well.
Let the veil of silence
descend upon us.
368
00:18:59,509 --> 00:19:02,139
Henceforth,
not a single sound
shall be uttered by...
369
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:06,681
Hup! Clearly you do not
understand the meaning
of not speaking!
370
00:19:09,919 --> 00:19:12,679
I'm really, really sorry
I ruined your show, Jessie.
371
00:19:12,682 --> 00:19:16,832
You should be.
I haven't been
that embarrassed since...
372
00:19:16,826 --> 00:19:20,626
Okay, well, it actually
hasn't been that long,
but I'm still mad at you.
373
00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:23,490
And you have
every right to be.
374
00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:24,833
It just seems like
you and Petey
375
00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:27,904
have so much in common,
I feel left out.
376
00:19:27,897 --> 00:19:29,767
I can't believe
I let my jealousy
get the best of me.
377
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,599
That was so stupid.
That was stupid.
378
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,354
And I loved it.
379
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,646
No guy has ever
violently noodled
somebody for me before.
380
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,810
You're the best, Jessie.
381
00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:45,422
And it's not like
Petey's always gonna
be hanging around, right?
382
00:19:45,415 --> 00:19:47,215
Right.
383
00:19:47,217 --> 00:19:49,287
So, no hard feelings?
384
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,759
Nah. Improv is
a dangerous business.
385
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,220
I knew that
when I signed up.
386
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:54,964
In that case,
would you mind?
387
00:19:54,964 --> 00:19:56,774
Of course.
388
00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:02,971
And you should
keep going to
improv with Petey.
389
00:20:02,972 --> 00:20:04,972
I promise I won't
get jealous again.
390
00:20:04,974 --> 00:20:08,544
Great! So, Petey,
when's our next class?
391
00:20:08,538 --> 00:20:10,838
Yeah, about that.
392
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,380
Jessie, the board
of directors of
Noodle-Doodle-Do
393
00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:16,624
did not accept your
application to join.
394
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,716
What? Who's on the board?
395
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,388
Malcolm, Chef Chung,
and myself.
396
00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:23,991
I'm sorry about that.
397
00:20:23,993 --> 00:20:25,503
Well, I've got to go.
398
00:20:25,495 --> 00:20:27,725
I'm late for Malcolm's
grandma's wake.
399
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,557
I'd invite you,
but, you know...
Yeah.
400
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,802
Aw, man!
401
00:20:33,803 --> 00:20:35,613
Now I got you booted
out of Noodle-Doodle-Do.
402
00:20:37,307 --> 00:20:39,337
It's okay.
403
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,309
At least now I'll have
more time to spend
with my favorite guy.
404
00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:44,841
A new guy? Who is he?
I'll pound him
like a veal cutlet!
405
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:47,884
It's you, ya dope.
Oh, right.
406
00:20:47,877 --> 00:20:50,577
Stupid jealousy.
Hmm.
407
00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:51,680
Will you forgive me
if I take you out
for a nice dinner?
408
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,483
Yes, and...
409
00:20:54,484 --> 00:20:56,634
Buy you flowers?
410
00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:58,756
Yes, and...
411
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,428
Take you for
a carriage ride
around the park?
412
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:01,990
Yes, and...
413
00:21:01,991 --> 00:21:03,691
And if this
doesn't end soon,
414
00:21:03,693 --> 00:21:04,593
I'm gonna have to
take out a loan.
415
00:21:06,436 --> 00:21:07,666
You're forgiven.
416
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,569
Ooh, I love
carriage rides!
417
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,301
I call shotgun!
Come on.
418
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:19,506
RAVI: Mowgli, Gupta, Tikki,
419
00:21:19,509 --> 00:21:22,279
please just go to bed!
420
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,281
(SOBBING)
421
00:21:24,814 --> 00:21:28,764
Wow, babies are a real pain.
And it just gets harder.
422
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:29,718
Wait till they start dating.
423
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,521
What am I saying?
424
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,425
Ravi, I know
we're not speaking,
425
00:21:39,429 --> 00:21:41,699
but I really understand
how you feel.
426
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,031
Kids are tough.
427
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,914
You're telling me.
428
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:48,736
For a moment,
I actually considered
using the stapler.
429
00:21:50,540 --> 00:21:52,740
Maybe this will help.
430
00:21:55,485 --> 00:21:56,485
I made it for them.
431
00:21:56,486 --> 00:21:59,316
Well, actually for you.
432
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,990
See? I decorated it
like a jungle,
433
00:22:03,993 --> 00:22:05,763
so they'll feel at home.
434
00:22:05,755 --> 00:22:06,725
Thank you, Zuri.
435
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,927
That is so thoughtful.
436
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:14,461
Now that
we are friends again,
437
00:22:14,464 --> 00:22:17,544
please, please, please,
take the midnight feeding!
438
00:22:22,772 --> 00:22:26,082
Hey, just because Bertram
banned lizards from his tub,
439
00:22:26,075 --> 00:22:26,645
doesn't mean you can
slither into mine.
440
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,850
(SIGHS) Okay, fine.
But don't use up
all my moisturizer.
441
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:33,982
It won't help.
442
00:22:33,983 --> 00:22:35,353
(GROWLS)
443
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:37,425
Wait a minute!
444
00:22:38,728 --> 00:22:40,058
Where's my
rubber ducky?
445
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:40,989
(BURPS)
(SQUEAKING)
446
00:22:42,492 --> 00:22:42,732
(GASPS) Professor Quackers?
447
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:46,565
Give it back!
(BURPS)
448
00:22:46,566 --> 00:22:48,366
Jessie, I...
449
00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:50,799
Wish I could un-see that.
32398
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