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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
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So, is everybody up for a
nice quiet evening at home?
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,777
Not that I seem to have
any other kind of evening.
4
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,613
Actually, it will be
anything but quiet for me.
5
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,950
Tonight, an asteroid will be
passing very close to Earth,
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and my stargazing club is
meeting in the park to observe it.
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Par-tay!
8
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,924
Turn down for telescopes.
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00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,896
There is also a young lady in our
group who I plan to ask out.
10
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,765
She is quite the astro-babe.
11
00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:35,267
Oh, Ravi, I'm sure she'll say yes.
12
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,803
But just in case, you may
want to mention you're rich.
13
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,940
Hey, Ravi, want me to come
with and be your wingman?
14
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,842
That would be awesome!
15
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,411
I shall go grab my scope.
16
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And put on my formfitting kurta.
17
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,680
I've been doing cha-cha aerobics.
18
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:55,220
Oh, Luke, thanks for offering
to be there for your brother.
19
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,722
It's really sweet of you. Are you kidding?
20
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,991
Ravi's going to ask a girl out.
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I wouldn't want to miss that train wreck.
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00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:05,564
I'll go fluff Ravi's crying pillow.
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00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,366
Oh, Jessie, I'm going out, too.
24
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,234
Marcie's party starts at 10:00.
25
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,969
Huh, what a coincidence.
26
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:14,006
That's the exact same time as your curfew.
27
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:18,243
Why do Ravi and Luke get to
stay out all night and I can't?
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00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,379
Because I know Marcie's
parents are out of town.
29
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,482
Besides, Ravi and Luke are
going to be learning things,
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and you're going to be forgetting
everything I taught you.
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This is so unfair!
32
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,558
No, unfair is having to take
your cousin to homecoming
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because no one else would ask them.
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00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,361
That doesn't seem so bad.
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She wore the same dress as me!
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh
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♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
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♪ It feels like a party every day
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00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,678
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
40
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,415
♪ But they keep on
pulling me every which way
41
00:01:56,417 --> 00:02:00,018
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
42
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,589
♪ My whole world is
changing Turning around
43
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:07,025
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking the ground
44
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:11,029
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
45
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♪ And I don't want to
let them down, down, down
46
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,034
♪ Hey Jessie
47
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,638
♪ Hey Jessie
48
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:25,344
♪ It feels like a party every day
49
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,981
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪
50
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,689
Hi, Max, it's Jessie Prescott, your client.
51
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Your only client, ever.
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00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,494
Please, please call me back.
53
00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,397
What's going on?
54
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,798
I have a commercial
audition tomorrow morning.
55
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,634
My agent says the producers were impressed
56
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,437
with one of the "special
skills" on my resume.
57
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,437
And the problem is?
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00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:56,808
He forgot to tell me which special
skill, and half of them are lies.
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00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,778
Well, if you can't reach your agent
doesn't he have an office you can go to?
60
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,649
Yes, it's in his mother's knitting room.
61
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,584
I already stopped by and he wasn't there.
62
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,420
But on the bright side, I'm getting
a homemade afghan for Christmas.
63
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,589
What are you guys up to?
64
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,091
We're going to watch
this show called Found.
65
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,827
It's about a bunch of
people trapped on an island.
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00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,930
And none of them know how they got there.
67
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:18,752
It's a huge mystery.
68
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:22,935
Oh, kinda like how you keep collecting
a paycheck for watching TV all day
69
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,504
and draining the world's cheese supply.
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00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,807
Anyway, they're running a Found marathon.
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00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,543
Culminating with a never-before
aired season finale,
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00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,614
which according to the ads, has
an ending so shocking it will...
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00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:39,117
Both: Blow your mind, mind, mind, mind!
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00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:43,155
Really? I couldn't care less, less, less.
75
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,924
I have to learn how to do everything
on my resume by tomorrow morning.
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00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:49,661
Which includes, juggling,
bird calling, tap dancing...
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00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,630
Yikes, I hope it's not the heart surgery.
78
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,632
How am I supposed to practice that?
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00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,400
Not it. Hmm.
80
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:02,107
Way to rock that lens
satchel, Miss Nussbaum!
81
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:09,448
Did you know asteroids contain material
from the birth of the universe?
82
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,516
Oh, it is beautiful, is it not?
83
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:14,119
Speaking of beautiful,
check out this cute giant!
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00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:19,524
Oh, she's normal size.
85
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,093
Even better!
86
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,428
Hey. I'm going to go ask her out.
87
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,631
No, that was the girl I was going to ask...
88
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,466
Hi, I'm Luke
89
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,469
and I think you're out of this world.
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00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,737
(Chuckles)
91
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,705
Space flirting, nice.
92
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,873
I'm Heidi.
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00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,075
And I am going to die alone.
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00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:43,949
Did you know asteroids contain
material from the birth of the universe?
95
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,586
Can you believe what just went down?
96
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,521
Homeboy cold stole my line!
97
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,761
Dude, that girl totally likes me.
98
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,730
She wants to show me her nebula filter!
99
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,868
That is a telescope accessory, you nimrod.
100
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:06,738
And Heidi was supposed to be my girl.
101
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,674
Oh!
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I'm sorry.
103
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,911
Well, at least you
still have Miss Nussbaum.
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00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,393
Good thing I didn't
start with the chain saws.
105
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,832
Emma! I told you you're not
allowed to go to that party.
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00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,600
Party?
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00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:39,604
I'm not going to a
party, I'm sleepwalking.
108
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,840
Shh, don't wake me, it's dangerous.
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00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,178
So is lying to your nanny.
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00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:50,615
Fine, I'll just go to
the kitchen for a snack.
111
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,151
Don't even think about trying
to sneak out the back door.
112
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:56,254
Mrs. Kipling's guarding it, and
I bought her loyalty with rats.
113
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,957
Ugh! That lizard is such a snake!
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00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:02,894
Zestie!
115
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,899
What in blazes is going on up here?
116
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:13,004
You know condo board laws clearly state
"No Riverdancing after 10:00 p.m."
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00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,974
I'm sorry. I have a big audition
118
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,577
and I'm just brushing up on
some of my special skills.
119
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,313
Oh, well in that case,
dear, please continue.
120
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,647
Really? No!
121
00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,852
Be silent or be sorry!
122
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,554
Not as sorry as your mirror.
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00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,623
This is now my favorite show!
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00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:35,193
Let's keep watching. We have still
hours of episodes before the finale.
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00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,662
Are you sure you can stay awake?
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00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:41,333
After all, you need a nap every
30 minutes or you get cranky.
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00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,601
(Grumbles)
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00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,002
I mean, crankier.
129
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,005
I know.
130
00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:49,741
I've never stayed awake for
more than six hours in a row.
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00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,145
Watching this marathon will be my Everest.
132
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,113
That is just sad.
133
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:02,988
(Chuckles)
134
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:05,690
(Gasps)
135
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,260
I hope I don't fall.
136
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,328
It's hard to flirt in a full body cast.
137
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,368
I've always been interested in gastronomy.
138
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,903
That's food.
139
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,306
Where? On my shirt?
140
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,242
Ah, don't worry, you'll get used to that.
141
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,345
Luke... Ow!
142
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,650
I have horrible news!
143
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,618
Dude, make it quick.
144
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,121
I'm kinda working on something over here.
145
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,722
Yes, with my honey!
146
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,992
And that was too loud.
147
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:46,698
Look, I've found a secret government
website, showing that the asteroid
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00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,267
is going to hit New York within the hour!
149
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:52,137
Okay, if this was true, then
why haven't they told anyone?
150
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:56,808
Shh! Because they wish to
avoid a widespread panic.
151
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,978
That is why it is a secret. Right!
152
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,080
Just like they're keeping
it a secret that the pyramids
153
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,316
were actually built by space dolphins.
154
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,085
Yes, just like that.
155
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,922
Look and see for yourself.
156
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,863
(Gasps) Oh, my gosh!
157
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:22,434
I told you so! It is
bigger, is it not? Yeah.
158
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:26,304
And over here, Emma is
hanging from our terrace!
159
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:30,775
Correction, Emma was
hanging from our terrace.
160
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,845
(Gasping) She just fell into
Mrs. Chesterfield's hot tub!
161
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,182
(Laughing) Awesome! I love
hocking loogies in there.
162
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,884
It's one of my top ten favorite spots.
163
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:41,753
I have a blog.
164
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,324
Dude, what's going to happen?
165
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,827
Well, Emma will surely be grounded
166
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:53,331
for her insubordination,
and... I meant, to Earth!
167
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,434
Right. We may not die from the impact,
168
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,471
but after many years,
poisonous radiation will turn us
169
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:03,708
into horribly disfigured slaves
to our mutant lizard overlords.
170
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,710
Oh!
171
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,447
Oh, man! What should I do?
A, be nicer to Mrs. Kipling.
172
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,818
And B, just do what I did.
173
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:18,089
Simply put on your aluminum
foil long johns for protection.
174
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,858
When did you have time to do that?
175
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,927
While you were flirting with my lady!
176
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,864
I have got to learn to
dial down the theatrics.
177
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,502
Okay, Ravi, unlike you, I
don't own metal underpants!
178
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:33,805
But remind me to give you a
wedgie with a magnet later.
179
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,742
Well, unless you want your first shower
in years to be with radioactive dust,
180
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:41,479
I suggest you improvise, man! Improvise!
181
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,248
Ravi, we have to warn our family!
182
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,083
I will take care of that.
183
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,852
In the meantime, dig through
the trash and outfit yourself
184
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,487
with all the foil you can find.
185
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,923
The dirtier the better.
186
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,326
For, um... Extra insulation.
187
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:59,164
Thanks, Ravi. You're such a good brother.
188
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:02,767
Outta my way, star nerds!
Coming through, excuse me.
189
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:08,206
No wonder Luke likes to
prank people. It is a hoot!
190
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,874
(Whooping)
191
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,549
Oh, gross.
192
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,517
Relish.
193
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:28,226
(Bird chirping)
194
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,796
(Imitating bird) Whoa.
195
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:39,804
Mrs. Chesterfield, are you here
to take me to the dark side?
196
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,508
It's my sleep apnea mask.
197
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:47,979
This urchin fell into my hot tub
just as I was settling into bed.
198
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,815
Some bed. It's shaped
like a heart, rotates,
199
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,351
and plays the love theme from Titanic.
200
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:57,555
Good for you, for making it
into one of the lifeboats.
201
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:01,826
Just keep your child infestation
from contaminating my apartment.
202
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,294
It's affecting my beauty sleep.
203
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,063
Clearly.
204
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,131
Ugh!
205
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:12,237
Emma, where do you think you're going?
206
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:17,308
Can't a girl make sure her nice,
sweet neighbor gets home safely?
207
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,046
Yeah, even I didn't buy that.
208
00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,582
(Yawns)
209
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,584
So what do you think they're going
to find in that mysterious cave?
210
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,254
It must be the shocking
reveal in the finale.
211
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:33,591
We have to keep going so we can watch
it live before we hear any spoilers.
212
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:36,928
I don't know how I'm going
to be able to stay awake...
213
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:40,432
(Snoring) Bertram, stay with me!
214
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:43,001
Don't go into the night light!
215
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:46,971
Wait! Stop shaking me.
You're loosening my fillings.
216
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:50,642
I just have to find a
way to stay up. (GASPING)
217
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:56,181
I was actually thinking more like coffee.
218
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,119
(Screaming)
219
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,122
How did you know that wasn't hot? I didn't.
220
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,095
(Playing instrument poorly)
221
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,268
That sounded nothing
like the national anthem.
222
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,005
(Crying)
223
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:24,142
Luke? Why are you covered in
tinfoil? And baba ghanoush?
224
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,116
(Thud) Emma: Ow!
225
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:36,921
Oh, someone put a plant in the
elevator? What a lovely touch.
226
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:42,594
Luke! What are you doing?
227
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:46,097
Getting tinfoil for my new girlfriend,
so she doesn't die when the asteroid hits!
228
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,966
Okay, well, have fun with that.
229
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,969
I'll just be here, finishing my list.
230
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:54,405
That's good, Jessie. You
finish that bucket list.
231
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:59,944
Oh, someone put a plant in the elevator.
232
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:01,479
What a lovely touch.
233
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,184
Hey, what are you... (Screaming)
234
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:11,990
(Playing instrument poorly)
(Banging on floor)
235
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:15,426
Mrs. Chesterfield: Is one of your
special skills strangling a walrus?
236
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,662
Put a cork in it, Jessie!
237
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,199
I really should have rented this.
238
00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:27,472
It's here. The season
finale. I can almost taste it.
239
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,276
(Sobbing) What's wrong?
240
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,578
I need to know what's in that cave!
241
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,548
And I really need to pee.
242
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:39,717
I'm wearing a diaper.
Where's your commitment?
243
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,052
Where's your dignity?
244
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,190
(Groaning) Oh, come on!
245
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,459
We already know what happened. We've
been watching for hours and hours!
246
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:52,597
I know! My eyes are so dry,
they make a noise when I blink!
247
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,098
(Boinging)
248
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:02,640
Heidi! Quick! Hold that. Okay, okay, okay.
249
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,642
Luke? What is wrong with you?
250
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,745
I'm not a sandwich you're saving for later.
251
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:11,082
Okay, there's no time to explain,
but the world is going to end!
252
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,251
Not as fast as this relationship!
253
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:18,056
Heidi, wait! Don't you want
to live long enough to help me
254
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,725
lead the resistance against
our lizard overlords?
255
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,294
(All laughing)
256
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:28,099
Looks like your attempt to
steal Heidi from me was...
257
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,636
Foiled!
258
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:35,406
Oh, dear puns. You always come
through for me when I need you most.
259
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:40,078
Wait, what are you talking about?
260
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,080
Luke, it was all a prank.
261
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,649
I played you like Paganini
played the Stradivarius.
262
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,819
So this whole thing was a trick? Correct.
263
00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:49,120
It burns, does it not?
264
00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:52,056
Kinda.
265
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,559
As your brother, I'm pretty ticked off.
266
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,328
But as a prank master, I'm super proud!
267
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,596
Props, bro!
268
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,974
Whoa!
269
00:15:02,005 --> 00:15:07,605
So, the asteroid's not
gonna hit Earth? Hardly.
270
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,508
Look, if you multiply the
trajectory of the asteroid
271
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:14,379
by the angle of Earth's
rotation, carry the twosie,
272
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,814
The asteroid is actually
going to... (Gasping)
273
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,518
Crash right into Central
Park! Dude, come on.
274
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:24,122
You're not allowed to trick me again after
I give you the combo handshake, bro-hug.
275
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,490
That's a prank foul!
276
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,760
This is no prank!
277
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,195
When was the last time I
made a mathematical error?
278
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:36,200
Oh, no, we're doomed! Good
thing we're both wearing tinfoil.
279
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,169
You dolt!
280
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:42,440
The asteroid is going to
blow us into a million pieces!
281
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:46,144
The foil will do nothing but ensure
our remains are cooked evenly!
282
00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:55,186
We have to warn everyone in the park
about the asteroid hurtling towards us!
283
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:59,524
Not just the park. The blast
radius includes all of Manhattan!
284
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:03,561
And, somewhat less importantly, Queens.
285
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,331
As long as it doesn't hit
the Bronx or Yankee Stadium.
286
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,134
Okay, we can warn the whole city.
287
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:17,241
Ravi, do you know how to
access a live satellite feed?
288
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:18,676
Uh, like duh.
289
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,217
No! Stop!
290
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,618
(Plates shattering)
291
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:33,925
Bertram, good news! You don't
have to do the dishes anymore.
292
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:39,464
That's it, lassie.
293
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:44,502
I have been banging on the ceiling
with this broom for the last hour!
294
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,305
If you keep doing that, it's
never going to fly again.
295
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:49,461
How dare you!
296
00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:52,877
Let's just see how sassy you
are when the fuzz arrives.
297
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,446
Is that what you call your flying monkeys?
298
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,216
That's what I call the police. The police?
299
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,451
Mmm-hmm. Mrs. Chesterfield, please!
300
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,420
You have no idea the
kind of night I've had.
301
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,857
I've failed at juggling, plate
spinning, music, bird calls
302
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:09,360
and I even burned the
taquitos I made as a snack.
303
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,230
My audition is tomorrow and the
only thing I've managed to do
304
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,399
is get a bad case of sousaphone shoulder.
305
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:18,302
I've never even heard of that. Neither
had the urgent care nurse I called.
306
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:21,205
She was very dismissive.
307
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:25,376
So please, please just call
off the police. Hmm. No can do.
308
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,712
No, it's time you stopped keeping me up.
309
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,747
And my little dog, too!
310
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,215
(Cackling)
311
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,985
Okay, now I hear it.
312
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:42,293
Finally, it's here!
313
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,228
They're about to reveal what's in the cave!
314
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,432
Both: No!
315
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,933
Our show!
316
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,416
Hey, what's wrong?
317
00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:55,636
Is there some sort of competition in
this house to see who can be the loudest?
318
00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,009
Ooh, or the hunkiest?
319
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,713
Okay, we are live.
320
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:05,483
People of Earth! This is an emergency!
321
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,285
This is not a test!
322
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,689
(Mock alarm sounds)
323
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,027
Stop it.
324
00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:23,334
This is Ravi Gupta Balasubramanium Ross,
president of the Stargazer Society.
325
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,404
Heed my warning! An asteroid
is heading towards Earth!
326
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:28,391
Find shelter!
327
00:18:28,422 --> 00:18:31,375
Save your family, save your lizard!
328
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,377
Wrap yourself in tinfoil!
329
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:36,314
Under no circumstances do that.
330
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,952
It is a total waste of time!
331
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:44,355
Oh, what do I care? We are all doomed!
332
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:48,025
I see a long conversation
with Christina in my future.
333
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,329
But don't you just love that silver hat?
334
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,664
Oh, I wonder if it comes with feathers?
335
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,301
(Mock alarm sounds)
336
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,339
Ooh, are we on TV?
337
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:04,542
Hi, Marcie! I'm heading over to the party.
338
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,511
Don't play my jam until I get there.
339
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:07,620
(Whooping)
340
00:19:07,651 --> 00:19:12,049
Emma snuck out? That girl is toast!
341
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,085
Apparently we're all toast!
342
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:18,055
Oh, please, only a complete dope
would believe two goofy kids saying
343
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,057
an asteroid is about to hit the Earth.
344
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,153
Hello, Momuchka?
345
00:19:21,184 --> 00:19:25,530
I just wanted you to know that
your wittle Bertie woves you!
346
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,632
(Sobbing)
347
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:32,403
Luke, even though you
stabbed me in the back
348
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,438
and tried to steal the girl of my dreams,
349
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,008
I want you to know that
I love you, brother.
350
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,442
And I love you.
351
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:39,877
Even though, because of your prank,
352
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,413
I'm going to die looking
like a baked potato.
353
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,117
How much time do we have?
354
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,819
It says here that the
asteroid will hit in...
355
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,455
Oh, my gosh, it is happening!
356
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,524
Three, two, one...
357
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,894
(Screaming)
358
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:02,733
Ow?
359
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:10,474
Oh, that was a tad anti-climactic.
360
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:14,145
(Chuckling) I forgot that
objects break into tiny pieces
361
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,113
when entering Earth's atmosphere.
362
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,481
Whoopsie!
363
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:18,684
(Crowd groans)
364
00:20:18,715 --> 00:20:23,487
Hey, people, even Einstein
got a few things wrong!
365
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:25,056
Have you seen his hair?
366
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,831
Uh...
367
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,934
We would like to apologize
to the entire tri-state area
368
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,137
for making everyone believe
that they were going to die.
369
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:43,641
(Chuckling nervously) Our bad.
370
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,077
Up next, are news vans
too easy to break into?
371
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:49,146
Chaz Brockman has your story. Chaz?
372
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,685
Aw, man! We missed what was in the cave!
373
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,922
I know, but I'm sure
they'll rerun it again.
374
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,891
We just have to avoid spoilers until then.
375
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,627
Ooh, are you watching Found?
376
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:04,495
My ex-husband is one of the producers.
377
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:07,565
He says at the end they find
their own skeletons in the cave,
378
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,634
and realize they've
been dead the whole time.
379
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:14,105
(Both screaming) No!
380
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:17,041
Mrs. Chesterfield, they stayed
up all night to see that ending,
381
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,744
and you just ruined it for them.
Do you have something to say?
382
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,779
Yes.
383
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,715
Point Rhoda!
384
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:27,718
(Phone ringing) Oh, it's my agent.
385
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,688
Max, finally...
386
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,857
I told you not to keep your
phone in your back pocket!
387
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:36,761
It always falls in when
you go potty! Really?
388
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,864
Oh, okay. Got it, thanks.
389
00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:42,166
So, what's the special skill?
390
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,101
Tap dancing.
391
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,770
How am I supposed to learn
how to do that before tomorrow?
392
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:50,041
If I taught you a tap routine, could
you promise me a full day of silence?
393
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:51,242
I didn't know you could tap dance.
394
00:21:51,244 --> 00:21:53,010
(Chuckles)
395
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:56,180
I wasn't crowned Miss
Schenectady on looks alone!
396
00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:58,015
I also bribed the judges.
397
00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:04,488
Well, then sure! Right after I drag
Emma home by her hair extensions.
398
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,724
Thank you, Mrs. Chesterfield.
399
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,159
Aw, no touching! Okay.
400
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:11,662
(Snoring)
401
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,098
Oh, Bertie's so adorable.
402
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,567
He's all sleepy bye. (Chuckles)
403
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,602
I just want to squeeze his cheeks!
404
00:22:20,972 --> 00:22:23,140
Please tell me you mean his face.
405
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:29,980
(Jazz music playing)
406
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:35,519
Wings! Take it.
407
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:40,291
Give it back! One, two, three...
408
00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:42,927
A one, two, three, four, five, big finish.
409
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:44,862
Yeah!
410
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,630
(Both laugh)
411
00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:47,298
Okay. No.
412
00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:52,236
Well? What do you think? Make it stop!
413
00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:56,273
Please, just ground me!
414
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,275
This'll teach you to sneak out.
415
00:22:58,277 --> 00:23:02,213
Now pipe down, or I'll make you
listen to me play the sousaphone!
416
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,949
Thanks again. You can
thank me by being quiet,
417
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:07,651
and keeping your rugrats out of my hot tub.
418
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:09,653
What if I'd been in there having a soak?
419
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:13,124
Well, then we would have heard,
"I'm melting, I'm melting!"
420
00:23:14,826 --> 00:23:16,160
Last one, I swear.
32443
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