All language subtitles for Jessie (2011) - 04x05 - Karate Kid-tastrophe.TuneVersion.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,743 Emma, turn that down! 3 00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:13,312 Or get better taste in music! 4 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,647 Jessie, do something! 5 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:19,351 Chubby can't sleep. And when he's tired, he's grumpy all day. 6 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,620 How can you tell? He's got a sewn on smile. 7 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:25,791 Emma, open up! 8 00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:27,893 Emma! 9 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,195 Keep it down! 10 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,597 I can't hear my music! 11 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,332 Everyone can hear your music! 12 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,701 New Jersey just called to complain. 13 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:40,672 Emma, this is intolerable! 14 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:45,811 Could you at least blast something with a banging sitar solo? 15 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,746 This is why you live your life solo. 16 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:49,848 He's not wrong. 17 00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,285 Thank you for that. 18 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,654 Now I can just cry myself to sleep. 19 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,423 Worked for me in middle school. 20 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,691 Okay, listen, Emma... 21 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,295 You better turn that music off right now or 22 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,597 you'll have to deal with a very cranky stuffed bear! 23 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,000 (Growls) 24 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,935 Quiet! 25 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:12,504 I warned you. 26 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:18,243 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 27 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,647 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 28 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:25,017 ♪ It feels like a party every day 29 00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:28,854 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 30 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:32,458 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 31 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:35,761 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 32 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:39,364 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 33 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:43,268 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 34 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,839 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 35 00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:50,309 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 36 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,846 ♪ Hey Jessie 37 00:01:53,848 --> 00:01:57,449 ♪ Hey Jessie 38 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:01,053 ♪ It feels like a party every day 39 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:05,324 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 40 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,462 (Vocalizing) 41 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,437 That song Emma was playing is actually pretty catchy. 42 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,340 So is the flu, but at least they have a shot for that. 43 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:23,742 Zuri! Hee-yah! 44 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,810 Oh! 45 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,481 You just re-scrambled my eggs. 46 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:33,619 Sorry. I'm just really freaked out about my belt test. 47 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,088 If I can't break that board, everyone in my karate class 48 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,523 is gonna laugh at me. 49 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,558 I have got this. 50 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,094 Just pretend they are laughing with you. 51 00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:44,363 And if that does not work, tattle. 52 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,799 Look, guys, I know we're all a little on edge 53 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,769 'cause Emma's been acting like a human fire ant lately, but 54 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,071 I'm sure today she'll be back to her old sweet self. 55 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,109 Ugh! You guys are still here? 56 00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,645 Emma, you cannot go to school dressed like that. 57 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,513 Everybody wears this. 58 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,782 What, is there a fabric shortage at your school? 59 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,685 No, you are gonna go back upstairs and change before I count to three. 60 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:11,456 Okay, I'm gonna count now. 61 00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,526 Here comes the counting. 62 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,031 One. Yeah, I know. 63 00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:23,702 One. 64 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,105 Two. 65 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,043 Two and three-quarters. 66 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,646 Three! (All gasping) 67 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,649 She's never gotten to three before. 68 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,418 What happens now? 69 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,687 I always assumed some kind of explosion. 70 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,023 Must. Not. Hurt. 71 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,391 Kids. 72 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,465 George Spoony! 73 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,935 Okay, Emma? 74 00:03:56,937 --> 00:04:02,040 I need you to go upstairs and change into something a little more... More. 75 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,943 Fine. I'll go change into a snow suit. 76 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,646 Good! Maybe you'll sweat out whatever's gotten into you! 77 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,750 Emma: (Yelling) Out of my way, stupid door! 78 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,151 (Loud slam) 79 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:20,425 When you and the kids fight, it's always my utensils that suffer! 80 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,031 Okay, Mrs. Kipling. 81 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,966 I'm going to take it easy on you because 82 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,067 You're a begin... (Slapping) 83 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,168 Hey! 84 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,871 (Croaking) 85 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,540 Good thing none of the kids in your karate class have a tail. 86 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,078 Oh! Emma, how was your day? 87 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,113 Horrible! 88 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,081 And stop interrogating me! 89 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,019 Mine was great. Thanks for asking. 90 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,024 Is she gone? 91 00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,892 That was the most harrowing elevator ride 92 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:58,063 since Luke and Mrs. Kipling shared a jumbo, eight-bean burrito. 93 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:01,667 Yeah. With all that gas, the elevator went up before we even pushed the button. 94 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,001 (Blows raspberry) 95 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:07,172 Jessie, check out my history paper! 96 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,107 I received an A plus plus. 97 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,209 I completely ruined the class' grading curve 98 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,178 and all my fellow students hate me. 99 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,548 Now, if you will excuse me, I must go invent a cloaking device. 100 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,653 Now who will help me practice for karate? 101 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:26,792 You're too busy, Ravi bruises too easily, and frankly, I'm afraid of Emma. 102 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,760 (Door slamming) (Objects clattering) 103 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,529 Luke, you took karate. 104 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,130 You must have learned something. 105 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,866 Yeah, how to sneak out of class to the pizza place next door. 106 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,069 So that's why your breath always smelled like anchovies. 107 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,171 Emma: Stupid chair. 108 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,606 (Loud bang) (Clattering) 109 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,009 Okay, I'm going in. 110 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,044 If I die, burn my diary. 111 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,746 Why? There's nothing juicy in it. 112 00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,022 Why isn't there any coconut water? 113 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,591 Uh... Because we don't live in Fiji? 114 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,029 Emma, just because you're unhinged 115 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,031 doesn't mean all the doors in the house have to be. 116 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,035 I got into a huge argument with my English teacher. 117 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,803 Did you dangle a participle? 118 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,873 Hey, I took a wild shot. 119 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,678 No, it was just because I was talking in class. 120 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,013 How could she not understand that I had to tell Rina that 121 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:26,818 Chauncy told Britta that Lake and Jax told Vivica that Apollo likes her? 122 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,987 Why don't any of the kids in your school have normal names? 123 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,655 Just one "Sally" would be nice. 124 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,036 Then my stupid teacher got mad just because I told 125 00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:35,994 her she reminded me of the book we were reading. 126 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,296 Boring and heavy. 127 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,832 Gee, how could she be offended by that? 128 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,101 You know what? First thing tomorrow 129 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,837 you are going to march in that classroom and tell that teacher you're sorry. 130 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,005 I can't do that. 131 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,640 Give me one good reason why. 132 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,308 She suspended me for a week. 133 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,113 I'm not cleaning that up. 134 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,016 There's a shock. 135 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,889 I can't believe Emma got suspended. 136 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,257 Me neither. 137 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,100 If I were you, I'd quit and move back to Texas. 138 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:11,163 That's what you always say. 139 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,198 Including last week when I stubbed my toe. 140 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,168 And yet, you're still here. 141 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,105 I mean, up until this point it's just been 142 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:25,177 bedtime stories and bandaging boo-boos, but this is a whole other level. 143 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,612 We need to bring in a professional child care expert. 144 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,982 You mean like a nanny? Yeah, exactly! 145 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,352 The point is... 146 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,188 I don't know what to do. 147 00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,190 Do what I do. Don't care. 148 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:43,361 After all, some kids are raised by wolves, and they turn out fine. 149 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,096 No, they don't! 150 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,998 They turn into weird, feral wolf-people 151 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,002 who're too busy digging up their yard and 152 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,236 chasing their tails to get into a good college. 153 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,839 Well, they still have a better chance of getting in than Luke. 154 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,076 Splendid news! 155 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:01,079 I was just re-elected president of the reptile club! 156 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,683 I beat out a picture of Godzilla. 157 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,751 That's nice. Just be sure to wear clean underwear. 158 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,156 The problem is, I've been too easy on Emma. 159 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,724 I need to be more like my dad. 160 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:17,262 Are you going to make her wear a fifty pound pack and swim the Rio Grande? 161 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:20,198 No. Her scrawny arms could never handle that current. 162 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:26,805 Well, I see one must be a problem child to get noticed around here. 163 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,174 (Gasps) Ravi? 164 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,909 How long have you been standing there? 165 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:37,115 So... Exactly how is picking up your video games 166 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,051 going to help me with my karate skills? 167 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:43,221 You dare question your sensei? 168 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:47,192 This simple task will help you find focus of mind. 169 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,795 I have also found a DVD marked "Jessie at the beach." 170 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:56,001 I don't know what you're talking about! 171 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:59,704 I would never make a secret video of Jessie frolicking on the sand. 172 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,241 Oh! 173 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,811 So that's why you asked her to run in slow motion. 174 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,816 Moving on. 175 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,219 It is now time to break this board. 176 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,254 I can't. 177 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,356 I'm afraid I'm going to hurt my hand. 178 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:22,727 Which is weird, since breaking stuff is my jam. 179 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:26,197 Visualize your hand going through the board. 180 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,666 I promise, you will not get hurt. 181 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,037 Hee... 182 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,104 Ow! 183 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,215 You promised! 184 00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:40,245 Hey, I also promised Jessie I wasn't filming her at the beach. 185 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,314 Speaking of that, I've got a DVD to watch. 186 00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,119 I'm worried about Emma. 187 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,088 She's been locked in her bedroom all day. 188 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,210 On the bright side, she's been in her bedroom all day. 189 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,327 No! I don't have any homework. 190 00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,528 I'm suspended! 191 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,030 I'm going out. 192 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,799 Yeah, out of your mind! 193 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,801 Please tell me you fell asleep in some grape juice? 194 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,838 Starting to miss the whole "locked in the bedroom" thing? 195 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,074 (Exclaiming) 196 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,909 Is that a tattoo? 197 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,244 (Gasping) Oh, come off, come off, come off! 198 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:16,915 Hey! The only thing coming off is my skin! 199 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,183 What am I gonna tell your parents? 200 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,118 Oh! Oh! I got it! 201 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,810 We'll just cut off your arm. 202 00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:26,057 Good idea. Because that's easier to explain than a tattoo. 203 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,159 Jessie, relax! 204 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,095 It's just marker. (Sighing) 205 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,863 To show the tattoo artist what I want. 206 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,065 Hold it! 207 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,800 You are not going anywhere. 208 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,903 Getting suspended from school also means getting grounded. 209 00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,038 It's kind of a twofer thing. 210 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,139 You can't do that! 211 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,008 Yes, I can! 212 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,670 And just be glad I have such respect for our troops, 213 00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:46,177 or else you'd be on your way to military school. 214 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,447 (Gasping) You want me to wear camo and get a buzzcut? 215 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,149 What's next, sensible shoes? 216 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,054 Wait for it. 217 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,222 (Door slamming) 218 00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:05,830 Maybe we should take everything off the walls until Emma goes off to college. 219 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,565 Or, let's be real, marries a prince. 220 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,838 Attention! Bad boy alert! 221 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,941 Not only am I 15 minutes late coming home, 222 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,412 but at lunch, I put an unhealthy topping on my yogurt. 223 00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:23,615 Full-fat granola! 224 00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:26,284 (Whistles) You are quite the rebel. 225 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,219 Hide your daughters, people! 226 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:32,290 This is terrible, she's out of control! 227 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,859 I am a boy! 228 00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:39,197 Oh, she was talking about Emma. Yeah. 229 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,468 Do you think I was too hard on Emma? 230 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,170 Or do you think I wasn't hard enough? 231 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,072 I just want to do what's best for her. 232 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,107 Well, Bertram? 233 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,443 What do you think? 234 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,511 I think, when you came out here and said 235 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:57,115 "Bertram, can I talk to you?" I should have hurled myself off the terrace. 236 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,551 When was the last time you hurled anything? 237 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,186 Last time you cooked. 238 00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,989 Jessie, I found this note from Emma. 239 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,958 And, in case you have not noticed, 240 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,229 I dyed my hair from chestnut brown to acorn brown. Lock me up! 241 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,432 Oh, no! 242 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,967 Emma's run away! 243 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,203 Are you sure? Maybe it says, "Run to play." 244 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,438 She's not a very good speller. 245 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,408 No, it's right here in black and glitter! 246 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,909 We have to go find her. 247 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,149 BTW, I got my belly button pierced! 248 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:35,253 Well, it is only a clip-on, but it is still infected! 249 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,926 Wax on, wax off. 250 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,928 Wax on... Back off! 251 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,665 I'm fed up doing all of your chores. 252 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,300 Who do I look like, Ravi? 253 00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:54,038 Meanwhile, I have my belt test in two hours, 254 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,374 and so far all I've learned is that you're lazy. 255 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,009 Oh, yeah? 256 00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,177 Well... 257 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,278 Prepare to defend yourself. 258 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,581 Bring it on. 259 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,285 I've been looking forward to this since you made me clean your toilet! 260 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,455 BTW, see a doctor! 261 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,956 (Scoffs) 262 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,225 (Grunts) 263 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,128 Wax on! Hee-yah! 264 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,196 Wax off! Hee-yah! 265 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,199 See? 266 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,101 Oh, I get it. 267 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,471 So all those chores you made me do were to help me with my karate. 268 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,239 Exactly! 269 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,674 And next, you will learn how 270 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,110 cleaning my dirty socks will help you with your... 271 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,144 (Inhales deeply) 272 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:33,945 Breath control. 273 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,150 Again, see a doctor. 274 00:13:42,108 --> 00:13:44,389 Okay, I've gone to every shoe store on the Upper West Side 275 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,131 and no sign of Emma. 276 00:13:45,162 --> 00:13:48,092 Well, I've been sitting right here and she hasn't come through the lobby. 277 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,762 You've just been sitting in that chair for two hours? 278 00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,197 Of course not. 279 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,098 For an hour, I sat in that chair. 280 00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:58,303 Well, obviously I don't have to worry about you running away. 281 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,773 I only run if something's chasing me. 282 00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,274 (Phone ringing) 283 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,442 Oh! Maybe that's Emma! 284 00:14:05,942 --> 00:14:06,863 Oh, no, it's Christina. 285 00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:08,780 I can't talk to her while Emma's missing! 286 00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,222 Don't worry. I'll take care of this. 287 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,550 Hi, Christina! 288 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,018 Yeah, she's right here. 289 00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:19,023 I am going to wring your ne... Nice to hear from you, Christina! 290 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,226 Well... 291 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,427 Well, what's up? 292 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:28,233 Why is Emma making so many charges at the New York Tipton Hotel? 293 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:31,069 Uh, because we are having a girls' day! 294 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,371 Yeah, in fact we're in the spa right now. 295 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,107 So, Sven, what kind of massages do you offer? 296 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,575 No! Yes! 297 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:38,608 (Stomping) (Groaning) 298 00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:41,613 (In Swedish accent) Yeah, would you like the Swedish massage, 299 00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,514 or the deep tissue? 300 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:48,052 Okay, Christina, we will. 301 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,988 Yes, I know I'm responsible for my own tips. 302 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,260 Okay, Zuri, you got this. 303 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,694 Yup, I'm not nervous at all. 304 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,062 If I were nervous, I'd be talking fast. 305 00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,130 Which I only do when I'm nervous. 306 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,132 Dang, I'm talking fast, aren't I? 307 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,700 Yeah! 308 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,502 And you were kind of spitting a little. 309 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,274 Now! Go out there and break that board! 310 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,810 Hello, Luke. 311 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,545 Ravi. What are you doing here? 312 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:19,083 Well, to demonstrate my new rebellious behavior, I ran away. 313 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,152 Unfortunately, no one noticed. 314 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,723 So, I decided to come here and support my dear sister. 315 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:26,791 Hmm. 316 00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:37,568 Come on, Zuri. You can do this. 317 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,304 I can do this. 318 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,539 One. 319 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,241 Two. 320 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:53,418 Aw, her little hand was shaking. 321 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:57,121 Just like me when I hear the words "Time to pick teams." 322 00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:01,859 We should have spent more time with the wood board instead of my surfboard. 323 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,361 I feel like such a big jerk. 324 00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:06,831 Luke: Wait. 325 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:08,833 That gives me an idea! 326 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:13,905 I'm such a loser. 327 00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:14,597 (Scoffs) Yeah. 328 00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:17,308 I knew you'd never be able to break that board. 329 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,910 You did? 330 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,312 Yeah, you just don't have what it takes to get a yellow belt. 331 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,847 Oh, hey! 332 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,916 Maybe they'll give you a feather belt? 333 00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,150 What's that? 334 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,719 It's just like a yellow belt. 335 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,288 But for chickens. 336 00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,292 Who you calling chicken? 337 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,661 Well, if the feather fits... 338 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:42,500 (Clucking) 339 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:48,840 I'll show you who can't break a stupid board! 340 00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,618 (Clucking) 341 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,387 Hee-yah! 342 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,960 Hee-yah! 343 00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,595 Hee-yah! Hee-yah! 344 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,005 (Yelping) 345 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,577 Who's the chicken now? 346 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,379 (Chuckling) I knew you could do it! 347 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,615 You did? 348 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,417 But you called me a chicken. 349 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:36,287 A good sensei knows how to motivate his student. 350 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,970 I just needed to get you angry enough to forget how scared you were. 351 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,225 Thank you, sensei. 352 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,561 It has been an honor to learn from you. 353 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,598 Congratulations, Zuri. 354 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,400 I would like to give you a high-five, 355 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,737 but I am afraid you will chop my hand clean off. 356 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,473 And it is difficult to play chess with a hook. 357 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,480 Emma? You open this door right now, young lady! 358 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,449 Make me, old lady! 359 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,950 Hey! 360 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,686 I put that seat in my shower because it is comfortable! 361 00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:14,025 So help me, Emma Evangeline Ross, I will break down this door! 362 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,327 Please be a soft wood. 363 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,496 (Grunting) 364 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,637 Madam, there are less drastic ways to deal with a de-magnetized key card. 365 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,506 No, you don't understand. 366 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,641 I'm a nanny and one of my kids has locked herself in that room. 367 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,710 Well, I am the manager of this hotel, 368 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,680 and we have a policy, "You break it, you buy it." 369 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:36,981 You owe me a new rib. 370 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,850 Oh! 371 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,451 Wait! I mean... Do you have any idea 372 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,453 how annoying kids can be? 373 00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:43,988 Oh. 374 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,859 Do I! 375 00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,760 I worked with them for six years. 376 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,028 Three of them aboard a cruise ship. 377 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,563 Or as I like to call it... 378 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:55,533 a floating reformatory with shuffleboard. 379 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,368 Once, I rode the Staten Island ferry. 380 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,490 Yeah, I puked right in front of the Statue of Liberty. 381 00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,406 So you were both green. (Laughing) 382 00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,475 You must text me that picture. 383 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,711 Wait. 384 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,779 Do you have any advice for me? 385 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,015 Yes. No running in my hallway! 386 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:18,790 Okay. 387 00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:22,927 If there's one thing I learned from my "Voyage of the Doomed," 388 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,096 it's that, with teenagers, 389 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:29,534 sometimes, just being willing to listen is the best thing. 390 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,968 And if that doesn't work, 391 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,404 I have a pass key. 392 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,741 Thank you, Mr... 393 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,808 Moseby? 394 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,344 You are very welcome. 395 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,021 Emma? 396 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,958 Jessie: Look, I'm really sorry. 397 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,660 Instead of just losing my temper, I... 398 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,529 Should have just asked you what's going on. 399 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,399 I mean, I wish my dad had listened to me before 400 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,468 taking away my tank privileges. 401 00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,471 Did he really make you swim the Rio Grande with a fifty-pound pack? 402 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,106 Yup. I still have dual citizenship. 403 00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,677 Anyway... 404 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,879 From now on, I promise I won't yell, or... 405 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,415 Judge, or... You don't even have to come out. 406 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,482 But... 407 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,651 If you're ready to talk, 408 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,554 I'm ready to listen. 409 00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:26,691 Really? 410 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,459 Really. 411 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,161 Tell me what's going on. 412 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,529 I can't. 413 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:36,867 It's not that I don't want to, I just don't know what's going on. 414 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,704 One minute I feel normal, the next minute I'm angry 415 00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,139 and I just want to smash everything in my room. 416 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,808 Except my shoes. Duh. 417 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,044 Welcome to being a teenager. 418 00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,814 You just don't understand. 419 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,048 Of course I do. 420 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,451 You know, I was 15 once, too. 421 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,852 Yeah, like, forever ago. 422 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,090 Yeah, back in the olden days, when we had to flip our cell phones open. 423 00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:02,526 Does it ever get better? 424 00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,262 Absolutely. 425 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:10,468 And, meanwhile, I think if we're patient and really listen to each other, 426 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,137 we can get through this together. 427 00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:14,905 Deal? 428 00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,041 Deal. 429 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,047 Wow, nice room! 430 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,852 I'm sorry, Jessie. 431 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,688 Let's go home. 432 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,156 Not so fast. 433 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,659 Your mom thinks we're having a fun girls' day, so... 434 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,894 Why don't we order room service and get massages? 435 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:38,663 Great! (Laughs) 436 00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,097 Do you have any cash for the tip? 437 00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,069 No, no, no, I am telling you, Cody, it's uncanny! 438 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:48,973 She looks exactly like Bailey. 439 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,975 You want to come see for yourself? 440 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:52,910 Oh, dear! 441 00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:09,694 Yo, Jessie! 442 00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:11,896 Check out my hog! 443 00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:15,199 Ravi? 444 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,734 What's going on? 445 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,269 And I'm assuming that's vegan leather. 446 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:23,240 Of course. I am a bad boy, not an eco-criminal. 447 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:28,279 I am just trying to get your attention so you will read my paper. 448 00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:31,182 Oh, I read it! It was great! 449 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,717 I am so proud of you. 450 00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:34,018 Thank you! 451 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,986 I just wish you had told me that before 452 00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:38,989 I joined that gang of motorcycle ruffians. 453 00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:41,826 Apparently, they are going to "initiate me." 454 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:46,097 I am hoping it is just a very elaborate handshake. 455 00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:49,033 Aw, you made friends! 456 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:57,208 Ravi, there's a gentleman named... Pickaxe waiting for you downstairs? 457 00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,177 Jessie, I know I rocked that paper, 458 00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:03,614 but can you please ground me so I do not have to go all 459 00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:05,916 Sons of Anarchy with Pickaxe and his pals? 460 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,686 All right, you're grounded. 461 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:09,987 (Exclaims) Thank you, Jessie! 462 00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,273 Okay, his teenage years I can handle. 33499

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