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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
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Emma, turn that down!
3
00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:13,312
Or get better taste in music!
4
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,647
Jessie, do something!
5
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:19,351
Chubby can't sleep. And when
he's tired, he's grumpy all day.
6
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,620
How can you tell? He's got a sewn on smile.
7
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Emma, open up!
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00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:27,893
Emma!
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00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,195
Keep it down!
10
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,597
I can't hear my music!
11
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Everyone can hear your music!
12
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New Jersey just called to complain.
13
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:40,672
Emma, this is intolerable!
14
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:45,811
Could you at least blast something
with a banging sitar solo?
15
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,746
This is why you live your life solo.
16
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:49,848
He's not wrong.
17
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,285
Thank you for that.
18
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,654
Now I can just cry myself to sleep.
19
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Worked for me in middle school.
20
00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,691
Okay, listen, Emma...
21
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,295
You better turn that music off right now or
22
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you'll have to deal with
a very cranky stuffed bear!
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(Growls)
24
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,935
Quiet!
25
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I warned you.
26
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:18,243
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh
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♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
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♪ It feels like a party every day
29
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:28,854
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
30
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♪ But they keep on
pulling me every which way
31
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:35,761
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
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♪ My whole world is
changing Turning around
33
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:43,268
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking the ground
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♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
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♪ And I don't want to
let them down, down, down
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00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,846
♪ Hey Jessie
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00:01:53,848 --> 00:01:57,449
♪ Hey Jessie
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♪ It feels like a party every day
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00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:05,324
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪
40
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(Vocalizing)
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That song Emma was playing
is actually pretty catchy.
42
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,340
So is the flu, but at least
they have a shot for that.
43
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:23,742
Zuri! Hee-yah!
44
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,810
Oh!
45
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,481
You just re-scrambled my eggs.
46
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Sorry. I'm just really
freaked out about my belt test.
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If I can't break that board,
everyone in my karate class
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is gonna laugh at me.
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I have got this.
50
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Just pretend they are laughing with you.
51
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And if that does not work, tattle.
52
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Look, guys, I know we're
all a little on edge
53
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,769
'cause Emma's been acting like
a human fire ant lately, but
54
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I'm sure today she'll be
back to her old sweet self.
55
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,109
Ugh! You guys are still here?
56
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,645
Emma, you cannot go to
school dressed like that.
57
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Everybody wears this.
58
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,782
What, is there a fabric
shortage at your school?
59
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,685
No, you are gonna go back upstairs
and change before I count to three.
60
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:11,456
Okay, I'm gonna count now.
61
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,526
Here comes the counting.
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00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,031
One. Yeah, I know.
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One.
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Two.
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Two and three-quarters.
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Three! (All gasping)
67
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She's never gotten to three before.
68
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,418
What happens now?
69
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,687
I always assumed some kind of explosion.
70
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Must. Not. Hurt.
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00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,391
Kids.
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00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,465
George Spoony!
73
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,935
Okay, Emma?
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I need you to go upstairs and change
into something a little more... More.
75
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,943
Fine. I'll go change into a snow suit.
76
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,646
Good! Maybe you'll sweat out
whatever's gotten into you!
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00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,750
Emma: (Yelling) Out of my way, stupid door!
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(Loud slam)
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00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:20,425
When you and the kids fight, it's
always my utensils that suffer!
80
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,031
Okay, Mrs. Kipling.
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I'm going to take it easy on you because
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You're a begin... (Slapping)
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Hey!
84
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(Croaking)
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Good thing none of the kids in
your karate class have a tail.
86
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,078
Oh! Emma, how was your day?
87
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Horrible!
88
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,081
And stop interrogating me!
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Mine was great. Thanks for asking.
90
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Is she gone?
91
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,892
That was the most harrowing elevator ride
92
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:58,063
since Luke and Mrs. Kipling shared
a jumbo, eight-bean burrito.
93
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:01,667
Yeah. With all that gas, the elevator
went up before we even pushed the button.
94
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,001
(Blows raspberry)
95
00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:07,172
Jessie, check out my history paper!
96
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,107
I received an A plus plus.
97
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,209
I completely ruined
the class' grading curve
98
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,178
and all my fellow students hate me.
99
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,548
Now, if you will excuse me, I
must go invent a cloaking device.
100
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,653
Now who will help me practice for karate?
101
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:26,792
You're too busy, Ravi bruises too easily,
and frankly, I'm afraid of Emma.
102
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,760
(Door slamming) (Objects clattering)
103
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,529
Luke, you took karate.
104
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,130
You must have learned something.
105
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,866
Yeah, how to sneak out of class
to the pizza place next door.
106
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,069
So that's why your breath
always smelled like anchovies.
107
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,171
Emma: Stupid chair.
108
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,606
(Loud bang) (Clattering)
109
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,009
Okay, I'm going in.
110
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,044
If I die, burn my diary.
111
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,746
Why? There's nothing juicy in it.
112
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,022
Why isn't there any coconut water?
113
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Uh... Because we don't live in Fiji?
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00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,029
Emma, just because you're unhinged
115
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,031
doesn't mean all the doors
in the house have to be.
116
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,035
I got into a huge argument
with my English teacher.
117
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,803
Did you dangle a participle?
118
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,873
Hey, I took a wild shot.
119
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,678
No, it was just because
I was talking in class.
120
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,013
How could she not understand
that I had to tell Rina that
121
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:26,818
Chauncy told Britta that Lake and
Jax told Vivica that Apollo likes her?
122
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,987
Why don't any of the kids in
your school have normal names?
123
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,655
Just one "Sally" would be nice.
124
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,036
Then my stupid teacher
got mad just because I told
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00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:35,994
her she reminded me of
the book we were reading.
126
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,296
Boring and heavy.
127
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,832
Gee, how could she be offended by that?
128
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You know what? First thing tomorrow
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00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,837
you are going to march in that classroom
and tell that teacher you're sorry.
130
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,005
I can't do that.
131
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,640
Give me one good reason why.
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She suspended me for a week.
133
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,113
I'm not cleaning that up.
134
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,016
There's a shock.
135
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,889
I can't believe Emma got suspended.
136
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,257
Me neither.
137
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,100
If I were you, I'd quit
and move back to Texas.
138
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:11,163
That's what you always say.
139
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,198
Including last week when I stubbed my toe.
140
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,168
And yet, you're still here.
141
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,105
I mean, up until this point it's just been
142
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:25,177
bedtime stories and bandaging boo-boos,
but this is a whole other level.
143
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,612
We need to bring in a
professional child care expert.
144
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,982
You mean like a nanny? Yeah, exactly!
145
00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,352
The point is...
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I don't know what to do.
147
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,190
Do what I do. Don't care.
148
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:43,361
After all, some kids are raised by
wolves, and they turn out fine.
149
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,096
No, they don't!
150
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,998
They turn into weird, feral wolf-people
151
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,002
who're too busy digging up their yard and
152
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,236
chasing their tails to
get into a good college.
153
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,839
Well, they still have a better
chance of getting in than Luke.
154
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,076
Splendid news!
155
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:01,079
I was just re-elected
president of the reptile club!
156
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,683
I beat out a picture of Godzilla.
157
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,751
That's nice. Just be sure
to wear clean underwear.
158
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,156
The problem is, I've been too easy on Emma.
159
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,724
I need to be more like my dad.
160
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:17,262
Are you going to make her wear a fifty
pound pack and swim the Rio Grande?
161
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:20,198
No. Her scrawny arms could
never handle that current.
162
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:26,805
Well, I see one must be a problem
child to get noticed around here.
163
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,174
(Gasps) Ravi?
164
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,909
How long have you been standing there?
165
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:37,115
So... Exactly how is
picking up your video games
166
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,051
going to help me with my karate skills?
167
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:43,221
You dare question your sensei?
168
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:47,192
This simple task will help
you find focus of mind.
169
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,795
I have also found a DVD
marked "Jessie at the beach."
170
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:56,001
I don't know what you're talking about!
171
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:59,704
I would never make a secret video
of Jessie frolicking on the sand.
172
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,241
Oh!
173
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,811
So that's why you asked her
to run in slow motion.
174
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,816
Moving on.
175
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,219
It is now time to break this board.
176
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,254
I can't.
177
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,356
I'm afraid I'm going to hurt my hand.
178
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:22,727
Which is weird, since
breaking stuff is my jam.
179
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:26,197
Visualize your hand
going through the board.
180
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,666
I promise, you will not get hurt.
181
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,037
Hee...
182
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,104
Ow!
183
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,215
You promised!
184
00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:40,245
Hey, I also promised Jessie I
wasn't filming her at the beach.
185
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,314
Speaking of that, I've got a DVD to watch.
186
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,119
I'm worried about Emma.
187
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,088
She's been locked in her bedroom all day.
188
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,210
On the bright side, she's
been in her bedroom all day.
189
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,327
No! I don't have any homework.
190
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,528
I'm suspended!
191
00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,030
I'm going out.
192
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,799
Yeah, out of your mind!
193
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,801
Please tell me you fell
asleep in some grape juice?
194
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,838
Starting to miss the whole
"locked in the bedroom" thing?
195
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,074
(Exclaiming)
196
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,909
Is that a tattoo?
197
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,244
(Gasping) Oh, come off, come off, come off!
198
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:16,915
Hey! The only thing coming off is my skin!
199
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,183
What am I gonna tell your parents?
200
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,118
Oh! Oh! I got it!
201
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,810
We'll just cut off your arm.
202
00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:26,057
Good idea. Because that's easier
to explain than a tattoo.
203
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,159
Jessie, relax!
204
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,095
It's just marker. (Sighing)
205
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,863
To show the tattoo artist what I want.
206
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,065
Hold it!
207
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,800
You are not going anywhere.
208
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,903
Getting suspended from school
also means getting grounded.
209
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,038
It's kind of a twofer thing.
210
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,139
You can't do that!
211
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,008
Yes, I can!
212
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,670
And just be glad I have
such respect for our troops,
213
00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:46,177
or else you'd be on your
way to military school.
214
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,447
(Gasping) You want me to
wear camo and get a buzzcut?
215
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,149
What's next, sensible shoes?
216
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,054
Wait for it.
217
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,222
(Door slamming)
218
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:05,830
Maybe we should take everything off the
walls until Emma goes off to college.
219
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,565
Or, let's be real, marries a prince.
220
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,838
Attention! Bad boy alert!
221
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,941
Not only am I 15 minutes late coming home,
222
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,412
but at lunch, I put an
unhealthy topping on my yogurt.
223
00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:23,615
Full-fat granola!
224
00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:26,284
(Whistles) You are quite the rebel.
225
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,219
Hide your daughters, people!
226
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:32,290
This is terrible, she's out of control!
227
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,859
I am a boy!
228
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:39,197
Oh, she was talking about Emma. Yeah.
229
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,468
Do you think I was too hard on Emma?
230
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,170
Or do you think I wasn't hard enough?
231
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,072
I just want to do what's best for her.
232
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,107
Well, Bertram?
233
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,443
What do you think?
234
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,511
I think, when you came out here and said
235
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:57,115
"Bertram, can I talk to you?" I should
have hurled myself off the terrace.
236
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,551
When was the last time you hurled anything?
237
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,186
Last time you cooked.
238
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,989
Jessie, I found this note from Emma.
239
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,958
And, in case you have not noticed,
240
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,229
I dyed my hair from chestnut brown
to acorn brown. Lock me up!
241
00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,432
Oh, no!
242
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,967
Emma's run away!
243
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,203
Are you sure? Maybe it says, "Run to play."
244
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,438
She's not a very good speller.
245
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,408
No, it's right here in black and glitter!
246
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,909
We have to go find her.
247
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,149
BTW, I got my belly button pierced!
248
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:35,253
Well, it is only a clip-on,
but it is still infected!
249
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,926
Wax on, wax off.
250
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,928
Wax on... Back off!
251
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,665
I'm fed up doing all of your chores.
252
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,300
Who do I look like, Ravi?
253
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:54,038
Meanwhile, I have my
belt test in two hours,
254
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,374
and so far all I've
learned is that you're lazy.
255
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,009
Oh, yeah?
256
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,177
Well...
257
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,278
Prepare to defend yourself.
258
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,581
Bring it on.
259
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,285
I've been looking forward to this
since you made me clean your toilet!
260
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,455
BTW, see a doctor!
261
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,956
(Scoffs)
262
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,225
(Grunts)
263
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,128
Wax on! Hee-yah!
264
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,196
Wax off! Hee-yah!
265
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,199
See?
266
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,101
Oh, I get it.
267
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,471
So all those chores you made me do
were to help me with my karate.
268
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,239
Exactly!
269
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,674
And next, you will learn how
270
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,110
cleaning my dirty socks
will help you with your...
271
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,144
(Inhales deeply)
272
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:33,945
Breath control.
273
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,150
Again, see a doctor.
274
00:13:42,108 --> 00:13:44,389
Okay, I've gone to every shoe
store on the Upper West Side
275
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,131
and no sign of Emma.
276
00:13:45,162 --> 00:13:48,092
Well, I've been sitting right here
and she hasn't come through the lobby.
277
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,762
You've just been sitting
in that chair for two hours?
278
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,197
Of course not.
279
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,098
For an hour, I sat in that chair.
280
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:58,303
Well, obviously I don't have
to worry about you running away.
281
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,773
I only run if something's chasing me.
282
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,274
(Phone ringing)
283
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,442
Oh! Maybe that's Emma!
284
00:14:05,942 --> 00:14:06,863
Oh, no, it's Christina.
285
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:08,780
I can't talk to her while Emma's missing!
286
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,222
Don't worry. I'll take care of this.
287
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,550
Hi, Christina!
288
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,018
Yeah, she's right here.
289
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:19,023
I am going to wring your ne...
Nice to hear from you, Christina!
290
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,226
Well...
291
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,427
Well, what's up?
292
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:28,233
Why is Emma making so many charges
at the New York Tipton Hotel?
293
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:31,069
Uh, because we are having a girls' day!
294
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,371
Yeah, in fact we're in the spa right now.
295
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,107
So, Sven, what kind of
massages do you offer?
296
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,575
No! Yes!
297
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:38,608
(Stomping) (Groaning)
298
00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:41,613
(In Swedish accent) Yeah, would
you like the Swedish massage,
299
00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,514
or the deep tissue?
300
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:48,052
Okay, Christina, we will.
301
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,988
Yes, I know I'm
responsible for my own tips.
302
00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,260
Okay, Zuri, you got this.
303
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,694
Yup, I'm not nervous at all.
304
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,062
If I were nervous, I'd be talking fast.
305
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,130
Which I only do when I'm nervous.
306
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,132
Dang, I'm talking fast, aren't I?
307
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,700
Yeah!
308
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,502
And you were kind of spitting a little.
309
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,274
Now! Go out there and break that board!
310
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,810
Hello, Luke.
311
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,545
Ravi. What are you doing here?
312
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:19,083
Well, to demonstrate my new
rebellious behavior, I ran away.
313
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,152
Unfortunately, no one noticed.
314
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,723
So, I decided to come here
and support my dear sister.
315
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:26,791
Hmm.
316
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:37,568
Come on, Zuri. You can do this.
317
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,304
I can do this.
318
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,539
One.
319
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,241
Two.
320
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:53,418
Aw, her little hand was shaking.
321
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:57,121
Just like me when I hear the
words "Time to pick teams."
322
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:01,859
We should have spent more time with the
wood board instead of my surfboard.
323
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,361
I feel like such a big jerk.
324
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:06,831
Luke: Wait.
325
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:08,833
That gives me an idea!
326
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:13,905
I'm such a loser.
327
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:14,597
(Scoffs) Yeah.
328
00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:17,308
I knew you'd never be
able to break that board.
329
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,910
You did?
330
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,312
Yeah, you just don't have what
it takes to get a yellow belt.
331
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,847
Oh, hey!
332
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,916
Maybe they'll give you a feather belt?
333
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,150
What's that?
334
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,719
It's just like a yellow belt.
335
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,288
But for chickens.
336
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,292
Who you calling chicken?
337
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,661
Well, if the feather fits...
338
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:42,500
(Clucking)
339
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:48,840
I'll show you who can't
break a stupid board!
340
00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,618
(Clucking)
341
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,387
Hee-yah!
342
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,960
Hee-yah!
343
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,595
Hee-yah!
Hee-yah!
344
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,005
(Yelping)
345
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,577
Who's the chicken now?
346
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,379
(Chuckling) I knew you could do it!
347
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,615
You did?
348
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,417
But you called me a chicken.
349
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:36,287
A good sensei knows how
to motivate his student.
350
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,970
I just needed to get you angry
enough to forget how scared you were.
351
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,225
Thank you, sensei.
352
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,561
It has been an honor to learn from you.
353
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,598
Congratulations, Zuri.
354
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,400
I would like to give you a high-five,
355
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,737
but I am afraid you will
chop my hand clean off.
356
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,473
And it is difficult to
play chess with a hook.
357
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,480
Emma? You open this door
right now, young lady!
358
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,449
Make me, old lady!
359
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,950
Hey!
360
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,686
I put that seat in my shower
because it is comfortable!
361
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:14,025
So help me, Emma Evangeline Ross,
I will break down this door!
362
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,327
Please be a soft wood.
363
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,496
(Grunting)
364
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,637
Madam, there are less drastic ways to
deal with a de-magnetized key card.
365
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,506
No, you don't understand.
366
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,641
I'm a nanny and one of my kids
has locked herself in that room.
367
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,710
Well, I am the manager of this hotel,
368
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,680
and we have a policy,
"You break it, you buy it."
369
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:36,981
You owe me a new rib.
370
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,850
Oh!
371
00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,451
Wait! I mean... Do you have any idea
372
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,453
how annoying kids can be?
373
00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:43,988
Oh.
374
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,859
Do I!
375
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,760
I worked with them for six years.
376
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,028
Three of them aboard a cruise ship.
377
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,563
Or as I like to call it...
378
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:55,533
a floating reformatory with shuffleboard.
379
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,368
Once, I rode the Staten Island ferry.
380
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,490
Yeah, I puked right in front
of the Statue of Liberty.
381
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,406
So you were both green. (Laughing)
382
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,475
You must text me that picture.
383
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,711
Wait.
384
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,779
Do you have any advice for me?
385
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,015
Yes. No running in my hallway!
386
00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:18,790
Okay.
387
00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:22,927
If there's one thing I learned
from my "Voyage of the Doomed,"
388
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,096
it's that, with teenagers,
389
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:29,534
sometimes, just being willing
to listen is the best thing.
390
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,968
And if that doesn't work,
391
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,404
I have a pass key.
392
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,741
Thank you, Mr...
393
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,808
Moseby?
394
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,344
You are very welcome.
395
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,021
Emma?
396
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,958
Jessie: Look, I'm really sorry.
397
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,660
Instead of just losing my temper, I...
398
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,529
Should have just asked you what's going on.
399
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,399
I mean, I wish my dad
had listened to me before
400
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,468
taking away my tank privileges.
401
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,471
Did he really make you swim the
Rio Grande with a fifty-pound pack?
402
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,106
Yup. I still have dual citizenship.
403
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,677
Anyway...
404
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,879
From now on, I promise I won't yell, or...
405
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,415
Judge, or... You don't
even have to come out.
406
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,482
But...
407
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,651
If you're ready to talk,
408
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,554
I'm ready to listen.
409
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:26,691
Really?
410
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,459
Really.
411
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,161
Tell me what's going on.
412
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,529
I can't.
413
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:36,867
It's not that I don't want to, I
just don't know what's going on.
414
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,704
One minute I feel normal,
the next minute I'm angry
415
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,139
and I just want to smash
everything in my room.
416
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,808
Except my shoes. Duh.
417
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,044
Welcome to being a teenager.
418
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,814
You just don't understand.
419
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,048
Of course I do.
420
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,451
You know, I was 15 once, too.
421
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,852
Yeah, like, forever ago.
422
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,090
Yeah, back in the olden days, when
we had to flip our cell phones open.
423
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:02,526
Does it ever get better?
424
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,262
Absolutely.
425
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:10,468
And, meanwhile, I think if we're patient
and really listen to each other,
426
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,137
we can get through this together.
427
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:14,905
Deal?
428
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,041
Deal.
429
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,047
Wow, nice room!
430
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,852
I'm sorry, Jessie.
431
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,688
Let's go home.
432
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,156
Not so fast.
433
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,659
Your mom thinks we're having
a fun girls' day, so...
434
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,894
Why don't we order room
service and get massages?
435
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:38,663
Great! (Laughs)
436
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,097
Do you have any cash for the tip?
437
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,069
No, no, no, I am telling
you, Cody, it's uncanny!
438
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:48,973
She looks exactly like Bailey.
439
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,975
You want to come see for yourself?
440
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:52,910
Oh, dear!
441
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:09,694
Yo, Jessie!
442
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:11,896
Check out my hog!
443
00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:15,199
Ravi?
444
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,734
What's going on?
445
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,269
And I'm assuming that's vegan leather.
446
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:23,240
Of course. I am a bad
boy, not an eco-criminal.
447
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:28,279
I am just trying to get your
attention so you will read my paper.
448
00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:31,182
Oh, I read it! It was great!
449
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,717
I am so proud of you.
450
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:34,018
Thank you!
451
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,986
I just wish you had told me that before
452
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:38,989
I joined that gang of motorcycle ruffians.
453
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:41,826
Apparently, they are
going to "initiate me."
454
00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:46,097
I am hoping it is just a
very elaborate handshake.
455
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:49,033
Aw, you made friends!
456
00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:57,208
Ravi, there's a gentleman named...
Pickaxe waiting for you downstairs?
457
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,177
Jessie, I know I rocked that paper,
458
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:03,614
but can you please ground me
so I do not have to go all
459
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:05,916
Sons of Anarchy with Pickaxe and his pals?
460
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,686
All right, you're grounded.
461
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:09,987
(Exclaims) Thank you, Jessie!
462
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,273
Okay, his teenage years I can handle.
33499
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