Original subtitles

[INDISTINCT SPEAKING]

You know, I really gotta tell you that whoever did

your microblading sure did a bang-up job.

Your brows are like sculpted bushes.

[INDISTINCT SPEAKING]

- You wouldn't mind telling me who you went to, would you?

[INDISTINCT SPEAKING]

- Well, hold on. - Okay.

I'm just gonna write that down.

Jann!

[THEME MUSIC]

Thanks for meeting me at the dentist, Todd.

There's just not many places I can go

where Cale won't follow me.

I didn't even need this new crown!

- Who are you? Who sent you? - I'm sorry?

- What's your business here? - This is my car.

Prove it. What's your licence plate number?

- [CAR HONKS AND DOORS UNLOCK] - Well played.

Ahem.

This must be stressful, Jann. How can I help?

- Gum? - Yeah, thanks.

It's just nice spending time with somebody who gets me.

You know, who actually supports me.

I'm your man. But Cale is your manager.

And she's a good one.

You need to find a way to make that relationship work.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do!

- Great. What's the strategy? - I'm forcing it.

- Pardon? - Well,

I'm forcing myself to be nice to her.

I'm forcing myself not to yell at her.

I'm taking a deep breath

and I'm forcing it all back inside myself.

- How's that working out? - It just feels forced.

- Oh, there goes my new crown. - [CLATTERING]

Anyway, I gotta give Cale credit.

We're shooting the video for that new single tomorrow,

and I am bringing my A game!

I'm getting' Botox, I'm getting a blowout,

I'm getting nipple tinting,

- I'm doing the whole works. - Funny,

Nia's shooting a video tomorrow too.

Todd, I don't wanna discuss your new clients.

I brought you here so you could listen to my problems.

Nia's not a problem.

What'd I just say to you?

Sorry, Jann.

Hey, what's going on with the new song you wrote?

Cale hates it.

So I'm forcing myself to move on.

Jann, that song is a work of art.

- The world deserves to hear it. - I agree.

Why don't you take it and record it with,

- What's Her Nuts? - With Nia?

What a stupid name.

That is incredibly generous of you, Jann.

I will never forget this.

- Thank you. - Crap!

I forgot that I had a meeting with the Alzheimer's doctor!

[LAUGHS]

What's so funny, Todd?

- I... - Oh, yeah.

No, I'm just-I'm just hearing it now.

[JANN CHUCKLES]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Oh, my car's that way.

You know, I'm...

- I'm parked over here. - I'm this way.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

- I know it might seem a little odd

to meet without your mother present,

but I find families often hold back in front of a loved one.

So how's Nora doing?

To be honest, she's- she's doing quite well.

She hasn't forgotten that I owe her 50 bucks, so.

She knows that the long term looks rough,

so she's... trying to make the short term count.

I'm glad you brought her in

before her Alzheimer's got too advanced.

So it's about getting in early.

Yes. It means that we can help her cope

as the disease progresses.

I knew it. We need to take the test.

- What test? - It's this Alzheimer's

DNA thingy

and it's a test that we can take

to find out if we'll have it too.

How do you know this?

It's called the Internet,

and it's how I learned that I have bunions

or possibly a boil.

As much as I love it when patients go online

to get their medical advice,

I must say it's not that simple.

OK, so how does it work?

The test tells us whether you have the gene

that raises the odds of you getting Alzheimer's.

But even if you have it,

the chances of you getting it are still low.

But not as low as compared

to someone who doesn't have the gene?

Right, but knowing that you have the gene

can cause unnecessary stress.

You still have lives to lead,

dreams to pursue.

We want the test! We want the test!

Why are you so excited about this?

As is so often the case with you,

this is the wrong emotion for this scenario.

If you really want to do it,

all I need from you is a cheek swab.

- Swab it like it's hot. - Wait.

I don't know that I wanna know!

So you'd rather find out

by forgetting to wear pants to the grocery store?

- Swab me. - Hit it.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

- And Max? - You know, wait.

Maybe I changed my mind.

Oh, this is so typical of you!

Why are you always chickening out?

I'm not chickening out.

I'm being brave.

Very, very slowly.

Ahem. I do have other patients waiting.

If you need to think about it...

Oh, for Christ sakes, give me the thingy.

I'll swab for both of us.

That's not how genetics work.

Oh, my God. Fine.

Can we go now?

No. No.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT SPEAKING OVER RADIO]

Hi. When do you expect to start rolling?

This director? Could be five minutes, could be never.

Helpful, thanks. Oh.

Don't touch that. They're props, not crafty.

Where's crafty?

[RECORDING]: Hi!

Leave a message and I'll get back to you

as soon as I find my phone.

Jann, where are you?!

Heh. If I had a nickel for every time I said that,

I'd be a millionaire. Again.

- Stupid stock market. - What are you doing here, Todd?

Nia's shooting a video in the other studio.

I heard you and Jann are shooting here too!

- What are the odds? - One to one.

There aren't many places to shoot music videos in Calgary.

Nice place though, huh?

This is gonna be a hoot.

What's the concept for yours?

It's an EDM track for ravers

and we're tapping into club culture

by using a candy kid avatar.

I got like three percent of that, but it sounds delicious.

Later, Cale.

What do you mean she's not here yet?

She'll be here soon.

And if she's not, I'll kill her with my bare hands

and you can shoot that instead.

Jann, if you are not here in the next half a second...

I'm here!

You're late!

You always dwell on the past.

I just wanted to make sure that I had enough options

for all of my outfits.

Isn't this great?

Somebody accidentally sent their online order

to my house, so I just kept it.

You don't need all of these outfits!

- You only need one. - Mm...

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Really?

It's a motion capture suit.

The fashion's added digitally.

- OK. - We've got talent.

Let's shoot!

Is there a problem?

[WHISPERING]: I have zero idea what's going on!

I feel completely lost!

And it's like I'm wandering through the desert,

without a compass or a guide,

or one of those little...

Propane portable stoves or a flint to make a fire!

Other than that, I'm really great, Cale!

I feel just great!

- Good. - [PHONE RINGS]

I can't talk right now, Max. I'm covered in balls.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

? ?

Can I have quiet on set, please?

Excuse me?

It looks like everybody's getting ready to film me here,

and I don't know what I'm doing. Am I lip-syncing? Am I...

I prefer to keep the vibe spontaneous,

so I'll coach you through each take.

Got it. Good.

And action.

Ahem.

Look at your hands with innocent wonder.

[SOFTLY]: Ooh.

Now, your hands are gumdrops.

AH! GOD, MY HANDS!

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY HANDS?

No, no. You're not upset. They're delicious.

- Oh. - Now, you're skipping.

You're skipping down a lollypop lane...

On the way

to a chocolate lake

where you're about to dive into

a white chocolate hot spring.

Uh, excuse me. I'm just gonna stop you right there...

because nobody likes white chocolate.

And I need someone to explain to me what's going on.

- Cut. - All right. That's a cut, guys.

You're not physically in the video.

- OK. - Well, it's you but better.

We're animating your face and movements

to appeal to a younger demo.

I'm as cute as a God damn button.

We good?

Yeah, she's good to go.

Jann?

Really cute!

Now I know what this ball is for, Cale!

- 'Cause I wondered about that. - Jann!

You're creative.

You adapt well to new situations.

You are great off the cuff.

You can do this!

And... action!

Could I just ask one more question?

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

I'm making tea. Do you want some?

- Sure. - What are you doing?

Tracking my online order.

It hasn't arrived.

I have something to tell you.

It's kind of weird, so don't freak out.

Jann and I took a test

to see if we're higher risk for Alzheimer's.

- You did? - Yeah.

And the results are in today

and we have to go back to the doctor to get them.

How do you feel about that?

Honestly, I don't know that I wanna know.

I mean...

I have a family.

Maybe if we knew, we could...

Start to plan for the future.

But then, am I gonna be so

worried about tomorrow I don't enjoy today? And...

[NORA SIGHS] It's

just a dilemma.

I'd have given anything to know

that this was happening to me sooner.

Yeah, I know. It's just- it's more complicated than that.

- It's... - Hmm.

Tell me,

do you wanna know if I'm gonna

flick you in the nose?

Don't flick me in the nose.

I won't or I will.

Don't you wanna know which?

This is not a fair comparison.

If I was gonna flick you in the nose,

don't you think you'd wanna

do something different right now?

OK, are you gonna flick me in the nose?!

See? You wanna know!

Yes, I'm gonna flick you in the nose!

Ah! No, no, no, no, no, no!

AH! Don't do that! Do not! Do not tickle me! Do not!

I am making hot tea. I could burn one of us.

[CHUCKLES]

See? You wanna know.

Hmm.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

You're walking through the fudge forest.

And, oh! It's raining.

It's raining jelly beans.

Duck and cover! Duck and cover!

Oh, my God. That is not good.

OK.

Instead, the cotton candy clouds part,

and it's super sunny.

Oh, it's so bright!

God, it's burning my eyes! My retinas are burning!

- NO! No! - God!

No! Again,

you're enjoying yourself.

It's the ideal temperature for you,

whatever that is.

A beautiful... room temperature day.

My armpits feel great.

It feels really good on my torso, my thighs.

- Love room temperature. - Mm-hmm.

Fine. Now...

Do you see that?

It's a flutter of marzipan butterflies.

Hi-yah! Ha! Ha!

Die, bugs! Die!

What are you doing?

You said marzipan! I assumed they were evil.

This woman's relationship to candy

really makes me question her childhood.

[TREADMILL HUMS LOUDLY]

- Help! Ah! - [INDISTINCT MURMURING]

That's enough for today. I'm out.

- Cut! - [BUZZER SOUNDS]

[JANN GROANS]

Are we done?

- Yeah, we're done. - Oh!

OK.

Went well.

No...

That's not candy.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Jeez. You really snuck up on me there, Cale.

I sometimes forget to turn off stealth mode.

I don't recognize this expression.

You're... hungry?

No! I had a piece of licorice.

So what's up?

I need to ask your advice,

about how to deal with Jann.

[TODD LAUGHS]

You almost had me there, Cale. Good try.

- Don't make this harder. - This is entrapment, you know.

- Please, Todd! - Wow.

Must be rough if you're willing to expose your underbelly.

You had to make it gross. Don't make it gross.

So what's going on with Jann?

It's been harder than I expected.

She clearly doesn't trust me.

Well, here's the thing.

Jann can struggle sometimes when she doesn't understand

why she's doing something.

Right? She needs to feel invested.

Go on.

She can't care about the little details

until she figures out how they

fit in to the big picture.

That makes a lot of sense, actually.

She's been questioning a lot of my ideas lately.

Maybe I need to explain my long game.

Exactly.

Do that and you'll get her on board.

- Thanks, Todd. - You're welcome.

You're a nice guy.

I hope you finish first one day.

[PENSIVE MUSIC]

What we're looking for when we test

for inherited genetic factors

is a mutation in one of three genes...

I'm just gonna interrupt you right there

'cause we really don't care how the test works.

Oh, really? It's pretty incredible science.

I'm sure it is but I assure you,

we are only thinking about ourselves here.

- Maxine... - Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You do not have the inherited

predisposition for Alzheimer's.

- Yes! Oh, my God. Thank you. - YES!

We are in the clear! Thank you, Jesus!

Again, not how genetics work.

You share some genes, and not others.

Especially in your case, given you have different fathers.

What?

She's talking to me, Max!

WHAT?!

I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Did not know!

I have to get out of here.

If you have just a second

to look at a little patch on my elbow?

It could be psoriasis or eczema,

'cause they look so similar on the Internet...

Really?!

Maybe another time.

Hello?

Mom, are you here?

Yeah, Mom! If that's even your real name!

She is our mom.

It is our dad that's different.

- Right, right. - What is all the hoopla about?

You want hoopla?

According to science,

Max and I don't have the same biological father.

- Hoopla that. - OK.

Look, which one of us is not Dad's real daughter?

It's me, right?

That's why you guys can eat so much pasta

and if I even so much as look at a piece of gnocchi,

I can't get my pleather pants on!

Where is all this coming from?

We took that DNA test.

- Right. Right. - Right.

Oh, dear.

I don't seem to be remembering

anything earlier than this morning.

- Cut the crap, Mom. - Excuse me?

You don't get to play the memory card,

just because it gets you off the hook!

There should be some perks to this stupid disease!

- Well, there isn't! - [SIGHS]

Let's sit.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

When Jann was 7,

your father and I went through a rough patch.

We separated.

In that time, I had...

A fling.

A fling?

It was brief...

Incredible. Oh, but brief.

- Oh, Lord. - OK. You know what?

We probably don't need all the details.

Oh. Oh, no. Your-your father was wonderful too.

That's what happens when your partner

understands and he knows your body.

- La, la, la, la, la, la, la! - OK. That's good. We're good.

We're so, so good.

Oh, OK. Well, soon after, we sorted things out.

We were always meant to be together.

Then, we learned that I was pregnant.

So...

Dad's not my real dad.

I'm not who I thought I was.

Dad isn't my dad.

He's a stranger.

I have a stranger's genes.

I-I have literally got no idea who I am now.

- I could be anybody at all. - She's spiralling.

- You're spiralling. - Sweetheart...

Nothing has changed.

That's not true.

Everything is different! My whole life!

Why didn't you tell me the truth?

I'm sorry, love.

I...

We did what we thought was best.

We raised you the same as your sister.

James and I wanted you to feel like you belonged,

that you weren't a mistake!

Because we were so happy to have you.

I need a minute.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

Did you find out if you have

the genetic predisposition or not?

Well, Max doesn't have it but I forgot to ask.

Hmm. Well, that's not a great sign.

Mm-mm.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

This ball suit is riding up

even more than yesterday's ball suit!

- It's the same ball suit. - YOU'RE THE SAME BALL SUIT!

- [SIGHS] - Oh!

- Come on. - Hey, Jann.

So I've been thinking,

maybe you'd like to know the big picture

of my plans for your career,

so you can feel more comfortable.

I would really like that, actually!

We're casting a wide net right now,

from Burning Woman to the singles single

to this admittedly bizarre

and slightly age-inappropriate video,

but it's all in order to analyze who's paying attention.

Watch the clamshell!

I might need that pearl at some point. Go on.

Your long-time audience will always be loyal

and love you, but that audience is shrinking,

- literally and figuratively. - Nice.

We need to get you noticed by a younger audience.

- Right! - Once we get your name out there

in a variety of ways, we can track

where new fans are coming from

and target them directly.

You know, that makes a lot of sense.

I really appreciate you sharing your strategy with me.

- Thank you, Cale. - So you're OK doing this video?

- Let's get this taco shell in the air! - You heard the woman!

[JANN SIGHS]

I don't wanna do it.

I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna do it.

I don't...

I don't wanna do it!

What if I have gas?

This is freaking me out!

[CALE]: Oh, you're gonna be great!

[JANN GRUNTS]

Ooh! Ooh! Ah!

This is why core strength

is so important! Oh!

How'd it go?

It went well. Thanks for your help.

My pleasure.

[JANN]: ? Paddling through ?

? A pudding pool ?

Of course, if you ever tell Jann that I came to you for advice,

I'll remove your voice box.

I would never say anything, I swear.

Just like I didn't say anything about

Jann coming to me for help about you.

Oh, no.

You guys?

[GRUNTING AND HOLLERING]

Jann's been secretly coming to you

for advice about me?

Yes, but it wasn't about you.

It was more advice about the industry, her career.

So stuff she should be talking to her manager about.

Is it very dry in here?

It feels very dry.

Why is your eye twitching like that?

I don't like to show anger,

but it's gotta get out somehow.

[JANN]: I am gonna join Cirque!

I am going to Vegas!

Augh...

- Cale! - That's not good.

Ooh.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

Hey, have you seen Jann?

She ran out the back door shouting,

"Family emergency!'

- "Did you believe her?" - No.

Clearly the woman can't act.

[SIGHS]

[BRAKES SCREECHING]

Hey.

You have balls on your boobs.

- Listen, I got your voicemail. - OK.

I heard something about a trip

but I couldn't make out what you were saying.

- I think the baby was crying? - No. No, no. That was me.

- Oh, yikes. - Yeah.

Listen, I found out the name of my birth father from Mom.

- He's a musician. - Aren't we all?

OK. Look, he's playing a show tomorrow night,

so I'm gonna take a little road trip.

I'm gonna go down there. I'm gonna say,

"Surprise! You have a kid!"

It's a bit of a half-baked plan, but I'm gonna do it.

Well, you're not going without me!

- Oh, good. - I have some stuff.

I was doing a video shoot.

- I'll use your toiletries. - Yeah.

- Oh. - Am I driving?

- Uh, no. - OK.

[PHONE CHIMES]

You're coming with me on this trip

to try to avoid something in your own life, aren't you?

This is the thanks I get

for trying to help my bastard sister?

Rude.

Treadmill coming up.

How did you paint this thing?!

Arden, renowned for her athleticism...

- [WOMAN]: Ha ha! - ...passed away today.

[WOMAN LAUGHS]

[JANN FEIGNS GRUNTING]

I like the boob balls. Do you have bigger boob balls?

This is gonna be a great God damn video!

[STILTED]: Don't really know how to do a robot.

I like it.

Look at my legs.

Look at my ASS!

Look at my bum.

Look at my bum!

I'm out.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

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