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1
00:00:07,378 --> 00:00:09,138
HEY, GIRLS.
WHATCHA YOU DOING?
2
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:10,780
OH WE'RE MAKING A LIST
OF ALL THE FUN THINGS
3
00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:13,111
WE WANT TO DO TOGETHER
BEFORE WE GO TO COLLEGE.
4
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,694
KIND OF LIKE
A BUCKET LIST
5
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:18,115
EXCEPT INSTEAD OF DYING,
WE'RE GRADUATING.
6
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,119
OH OKAY.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU HAVE SO FAR?
7
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,321
THE WORD "LIST."
8
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,503
I CAME UP WITH THAT.
9
00:00:24,495 --> 00:00:26,695
I HAVE THE PERFECT
IDEA FOR YOU GIRLS.
10
00:00:26,697 --> 00:00:29,557
HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE A RIDE
IN A HOT-AIR BALLOON?
11
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,600
OOH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
12
00:00:31,602 --> 00:00:32,732
YUP.
13
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,473
THEN AGAIN,
I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
14
00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:36,535
AND I'M NOT CRAZY
ABOUT BALLOONS.
15
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,309
OKAY, HOW ABOUT
16
00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:43,571
WATCHING THE SUNRISE
FROM THE TOP OF PIKE'S PEAK.
17
00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:46,084
OH, I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO DO THAT.
18
00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:47,517
OF COURSE WE'D HAVE
TO GET UP PRETTY EARLY.
19
00:00:47,518 --> 00:00:49,518
AND I BET
IT'S COLD UP THERE.
20
00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:52,651
0 FOR 2, MA.
21
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,763
OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU TWO
COME UP WITH SOMETHING?
22
00:00:56,587 --> 00:00:58,287
ROAD TRIP.
23
00:00:58,289 --> 00:00:59,529
( excited )
ROAD TRIP.
24
00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,630
THAT'S SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
25
00:01:01,632 --> 00:01:03,292
DONE.
26
00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:04,604
- TAKE A BREAK?
- TAKE A BREAK.
27
00:01:06,437 --> 00:01:08,697
( rock music playing )
28
00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:10,699
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
29
00:01:10,701 --> 00:01:12,271
♪ RUNNING LATE
AND DAD JOKES ♪
30
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,853
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪
31
00:01:14,845 --> 00:01:16,845
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪
32
00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:18,577
♪ I GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
33
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,279
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪
34
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:25,222
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I SURVIVED ♪
35
00:01:25,216 --> 00:01:28,516
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪
36
00:01:28,519 --> 00:01:30,389
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
37
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,861
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
38
00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:34,772
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
39
00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,565
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
40
00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:38,367
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
41
00:01:38,369 --> 00:01:41,369
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
42
00:01:41,372 --> 00:01:43,502
♪ SURE LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪
43
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,884
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
44
00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:50,677
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
45
00:01:52,383 --> 00:01:54,593
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
46
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,163
( doorbell rings )
47
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,698
HEY, NEIGHBORS.
48
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,200
TO WHAT DO WE
OWE THE HONOR?
49
00:02:11,202 --> 00:02:13,802
WE CAME OVER BECAUSE
WE HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS.
50
00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:15,674
YEAH, WE'RE GETTING
MARRIED.
51
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:18,206
DIDN'T YOU TWO
JUST START DATING?
52
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:19,809
AT OUR AGE,
YOU DON'T WASTE TIME.
53
00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:25,883
WOW, WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS
54
00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:27,676
AND, YOU KNOW,
MANY HAPPY YEARS.
55
00:02:27,678 --> 00:02:29,848
YEAH, HOLD ON.
56
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,750
- HEY, LISTEN, R.J.
- P.J.
57
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:32,852
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
WHATEVER.
58
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,933
I WANT YOU TO BE
MY BEST MAN.
59
00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,886
ME? WHY ME?
60
00:02:37,888 --> 00:02:40,288
WELL, BECAUSE YOU'RE
MY CLOSEST FRIEND...
61
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,562
WHO'S LIVING.
62
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,944
OH.
63
00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:48,196
YEAH, AS YOU ARE MINE...
64
00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:50,899
SHOULD SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAPPEN TO ALL MY FRIENDS.
65
00:02:52,703 --> 00:02:54,683
AND, BOB, WE'D LOVE IT
66
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,405
IF YOU WOULD
PERFORM THE CEREMONY.
67
00:02:56,407 --> 00:02:58,407
ME?
68
00:02:58,409 --> 00:03:01,509
YOU CAN BE CERTIFIED
ONLINE.
69
00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:02,912
I LOOKED INTO IT.
70
00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:06,493
YEAH, WE FIGURED
YOU'D BE THE RIGHT CHOICE
71
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,487
SINCE WE'RE HAVING
THE WEDDING IN YOUR HOUSE.
72
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,960
EXCUSE ME?
73
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:13,661
WE WANTED TO HAVE
A DESTINATION WEDDING.
74
00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:16,604
YEAH, SO WE THOUGHT
"ACROSS THE STREET"
75
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,967
IS THE PERFECT
DESTINATION.
76
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:21,731
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
77
00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:23,332
- EH, WELL--
- THANKS.
78
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:24,984
THAT MEANS
AN AWFUL LOT TO US.
79
00:03:24,975 --> 00:03:26,905
THANKS, BOB.
80
00:03:31,442 --> 00:03:33,942
WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?
81
00:03:33,944 --> 00:03:36,624
I'M NOT SURE.
82
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,487
WE GOT TO STOP
ANSWERING THAT DOOR.
83
00:03:44,695 --> 00:03:45,755
HEY, CHARLIE.
84
00:03:45,756 --> 00:03:46,926
HAVE YOU SEEN MOM?
85
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,857
- NO.
- GOOD.
86
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,501
AHH!
87
00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:55,574
I SEE HER NOW.
88
00:04:00,311 --> 00:04:01,411
HEY, MOM.
89
00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:02,872
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
90
00:04:02,873 --> 00:04:06,253
OH, UM, I'M GOING TO GO
PLAY CATCH WITH JAKE.
91
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,376
IN A UNIFORM?
92
00:04:07,378 --> 00:04:10,448
WE TAKE CATCH
PRETTY SERIOUSLY.
93
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,851
ARE YOU PLAYING BASEBALL
BEHIND MY BACK?
94
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:14,894
NOT ANYMORE.
95
00:04:14,885 --> 00:04:16,885
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
96
00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:18,987
BECAUSE, MOM,
EVERY TIME YOU WATCH ME PLAY,
97
00:04:18,989 --> 00:04:21,859
YOU YELL, YOU SCREAM,
AND GET TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
98
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,362
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ME.
99
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,474
YES, IT DOES.
100
00:04:26,337 --> 00:04:28,567
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE PLAYING
SECRET BASEBALL.
101
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,039
IT'S ONLY A SECRET TO YOU.
SEE YA.
102
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,014
CHARLIE, HONEY,
103
00:04:36,006 --> 00:04:38,576
YOU'D NEVER PLAY A SPORT
BEHIND MY BACK, WOULD YOU?
104
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,549
- NO, MOMMY.
- THAT'S MY GIRL.
105
00:04:41,712 --> 00:04:43,882
HEY, CHARLIE,
YOU READY FOR T-BALL PRACTICE?
106
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,764
HEY!
107
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,992
( doorbell rings )
108
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,727
HEY, IVY,
WHAT'S UP?
109
00:04:58,729 --> 00:05:01,299
SO MY DAD,
HE JUST BOUGHT THIS NEW R.V.
110
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,501
WOULD YOU MIND CHECKING IT OUT,
111
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,883
MAKE A BIG DEAL
ABOUT HOW COOL IT IS?
112
00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,035
IT WOULD REALLY
MAKE HIS DAY.
113
00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:09,678
T?
114
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,940
SORRY.
115
00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,881
I WAS JUST REMEMBERING
SOMETHING MY DAD SAID
116
00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:14,823
ABOUT NOT ANSWERING THE DOOR.
117
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,619
WELCOME ABOARD,
TEDDY.
118
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,091
I'M CAPTAIN HARRY
119
00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:23,952
AND THE PILOT
OF THIS VESSEL.
120
00:05:23,954 --> 00:05:25,734
I BELIEVE
YOU KNOW MY COPILOT.
121
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,896
AHOY, TEDDY.
122
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:30,028
OH, WOW,
MR. WENTZ.
123
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,400
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
YOU KNOW,
124
00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:36,974
IT'S A HOME
THAT HAS A MOTOR.
125
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:39,707
AND IT'S RECREATIONAL,
126
00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:41,910
BUT IT'S ALSO A VEHICLE.
127
00:05:42,913 --> 00:05:45,053
AND AIN'T SHE A BEAUTY?
128
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,375
IVY, GIVE TEDDY
THE TOUR.
129
00:05:47,378 --> 00:05:48,618
SURE.
130
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:50,449
Ivy: ALL RIGHT,
131
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:53,881
THIS IS THE KITCHEN,
DINING ROOM, LIVING ROOM,
132
00:05:53,884 --> 00:05:56,834
YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT
HOW COMFY THE SEATS ARE.
133
00:05:56,827 --> 00:06:00,787
- YEAH. MM-HMM.
- ( seatbelt clicks )
134
00:06:01,792 --> 00:06:03,732
OKAY, DAD.
LET'S GO.
135
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:05,804
- ( engine starts )
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
136
00:06:05,796 --> 00:06:07,836
REMEMBER THE ROAD TRIP
WE WANTED TO TAKE?
137
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,769
WE'RE ON IT!
138
00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:16,946
OKAY, BOYS,
139
00:06:16,947 --> 00:06:19,977
YOUR DAD IS ABOUT TO BECOME
A WEDDING OFFICIANT.
140
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:23,680
OKAY, I HOPE THIS ISN'T
TOO COMPLICATED.
141
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:24,894
"NAME."
142
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,985
( typing )
143
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,016
"EMAIL ADDRESS."
144
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:31,089
"ORDAIN ME."
145
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,091
( harps play )
146
00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:34,904
( doorbell rings )
147
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,895
- I'LL GET IT, DAD.
- HEY. REVEREND BOB.
148
00:06:41,972 --> 00:06:44,742
HEY, WE'RE HERE
FOR THE BACHELOR PARTY.
149
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,036
WHAT BACHELOR PARTY?
150
00:06:48,038 --> 00:06:49,578
THE ONE YOU'RE THROWING.
151
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:51,710
YOU'RE MY BEST MAN.
IT'S PART OF THE JOB.
152
00:06:52,943 --> 00:06:55,823
OKAY, WELL,
COME ON IN.
153
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,016
THIS IS ARNIE.
154
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,887
WE WORK TOGETHER
AT THE POST OFFICE.
155
00:06:58,889 --> 00:07:01,089
( heavy accent )
I WAS TOLD THERE
WOULD BE FOOD.
156
00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:04,963
OKAY, WELL, UH...
157
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:07,055
YOU GUYS GO ON DOWNSTAIRS
158
00:07:07,057 --> 00:07:08,427
AND I'LL PUT SOMETHING TOGETHER.
159
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,061
HEY, COME ON, BOB.
160
00:07:12,062 --> 00:07:13,532
- ME?
- YEAH.
161
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,914
FOUR'S A PARTY.
162
00:07:14,905 --> 00:07:16,735
THREE'S JUST SAD.
163
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,810
FOUR CAN BE SAD, TOO.
164
00:07:28,579 --> 00:07:31,049
YOU EVER THINK MY PARENTS
MIGHT WONDER WHERE I AM?
165
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,881
THEY KNOW EXACTLY
WHERE YOU ARE.
166
00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:34,153
YOUR MOM EVEN
PACKED YOUR BAG.
167
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,456
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M MAKING A NEW LIST,
168
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,988
AND YOU AND MY MOM
ARE ON IT.
169
00:07:42,032 --> 00:07:44,462
COME ON, T,
IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
170
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,074
WHERE ARE WE GOING,
ANYWAY?
171
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,537
LAS VEGAS.
172
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,070
OH, I LOVE VEGAS!
173
00:07:51,942 --> 00:07:54,072
HEY, MR. WENTZ,
174
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,714
HOW LONG UNTIL
WE GET TO LAS VEGAS?
175
00:07:56,707 --> 00:07:58,007
OH, HARD TO SAY.
176
00:07:58,008 --> 00:07:59,048
DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH TIME
177
00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:01,909
WE SPEND AT
THE MYSTERY STOP.
178
00:08:01,912 --> 00:08:04,012
WE'RE MAKING
A MYSTERY STOP?
179
00:08:04,014 --> 00:08:06,664
OH, I LOVE
HARRY'S MYSTERY STOPS.
180
00:08:06,657 --> 00:08:10,817
SOMETIMES THEY'RE BETTER
THAN THE FINAL DESTINATION.
181
00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:12,621
OOH, I JUST GOT TINGLY!
182
00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:14,903
DID YOU GIRLS GET TINGLY?
183
00:08:15,966 --> 00:08:17,896
WE MIGHT AS WELL
GET COMFORTABLE.
184
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,898
SHE'S GONNA BE
TINGLY FOR A WHILE.
185
00:08:28,238 --> 00:08:29,978
HEY, MOM.
186
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:32,080
HELLO, GABRIEL.
187
00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:35,785
HOW WAS YOUR BASEBALL GAME?
188
00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:37,516
IT WAS GREAT.
WE WON 4-1
189
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,717
AND I HAD TWO HITS.
190
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,749
HUH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING
191
00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:42,951
A PARENT MIGHT ENJOY SEEING.
192
00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:45,703
MOM, HOW LONG
IS THIS GONNA GO ON?
193
00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:48,096
HOW LONG IS BASEBALL SEASON?
194
00:08:48,098 --> 00:08:51,098
LOOK, OKAY,
I ADMIT THAT IN THE PAST,
195
00:08:51,101 --> 00:08:55,011
I MAY HAVE GOTTEN
A LITTLE... ANIMATED,
196
00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:56,865
BUT A PERSON CAN CHANGE.
197
00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:58,237
YEAH, SURE,
A PERSON CAN CHANGE,
198
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,268
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?
199
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:02,070
LOOK, IF YOU LET ME
GO TO YOUR GAME,
200
00:09:02,072 --> 00:09:03,942
I PROMISE THAT
I WILL BE SO QUIET
201
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,584
YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW
THAT I'M THERE.
202
00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:06,816
( sighs )
203
00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:08,017
WHAT DO YOU THINK, TOBY?
SHOULD I TRUST HER?
204
00:09:08,018 --> 00:09:09,748
NO.
205
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,081
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
HE'S ONE.
206
00:09:14,084 --> 00:09:16,764
AND YET HE'S PROBABLY RIGHT.
207
00:09:28,699 --> 00:09:31,039
SO...
208
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,871
WE'VE PLAYED PINOCHLE.
209
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,748
NOW WHAT DO YOU GUYS
WANT TO DO?
210
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,610
YOU TELL US,
211
00:09:41,612 --> 00:09:45,322
BEST MAN.
212
00:09:45,315 --> 00:09:46,985
( loudly whispers )
HE SHOULD HAVE PLANNED
213
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,757
MORE ACTIVITIES.
214
00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,659
HE'S DROPPING THE BALL.
215
00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:53,622
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
216
00:09:53,624 --> 00:09:55,074
OLD GUY WHISPERING
217
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,195
IS JUST LIKE
YOUNG GUY TALKING.
218
00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:01,697
( loudly whispers )
YOUR BEST MAN HAS
A LOT OF TOOT.
219
00:10:03,373 --> 00:10:05,613
WELL, I BETTER GET UPSTAIRS
220
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,675
AND MAKE SOME MORE SANDWICHES.
221
00:10:06,677 --> 00:10:07,837
UH, YOU NEED SOME
HELP WITH THAT?
222
00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:09,308
NO, YOU COME UP
WITH YOUR OWN EXCUSE.
223
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,786
SO YOU--
224
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:20,888
YOU GUYS WERE
POSTAL WORKERS, HUH?
225
00:10:20,891 --> 00:10:22,891
EXTERMINATOR.
226
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,855
( loudly whispers )
HE'S MORE BORING
227
00:10:27,858 --> 00:10:29,698
THAN THE SON.
228
00:10:35,806 --> 00:10:38,966
( reading )
"RIGHT LANE ENDS."
229
00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:41,909
"WATCH FOR FALLING ROCKS."
230
00:10:41,912 --> 00:10:43,972
ARE YOU GONNA READ
EVERY ROAD SIGN?
231
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:47,084
THIS IS HOW I KEEP
MY SANITY ON THESE TRIPS.
232
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:51,849
"EXIT 29B."
233
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,752
- ( radio static )
- THIS IS MAMA BEAR
234
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,994
CRUISING DOWN
THE HIGHWAY
235
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,885
WITH A COUPLE OF CUBBIES
AND A HUBBY-WUBBY
236
00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:58,787
ON OUR WAY
TO A MYSTERY STOP.
237
00:10:58,789 --> 00:11:00,089
COME ON BACK.
238
00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:04,702
THIS IS MAMA BEAR.
ANYBODY HAVE THEIR EARS ON?
239
00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:07,735
( distorted crackle,
muffled speech )
240
00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:10,238
SOUNDS LIKE WE GOT A MUD DUCK.
241
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,670
AFFIRMATIVE TO THAT,
HUBBY-WUBBY.
242
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:16,384
THAT'S C.B. LINGO, TEDDY.
243
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,676
WHAT I SAID WAS
"SOUNDS LIKE HE'S GOT
A WEAK SIGNAL."
244
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,279
AND I RESPONDED
"I AGREE, HUSBAND."
245
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:29,016
"SPEED LIMIT: 70."
246
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,328
YOU'RE NOT PEEKING,
NOW ARE YOU, MARY LOU?
247
00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:43,169
OH NO! I WOULDN'T
SPOIL A MYSTERY STOP.
248
00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:44,883
ALL RIGHT.
249
00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:46,335
OPEN YOUR EYES.
250
00:11:47,337 --> 00:11:49,477
WELCOME TO THE FOUR CORNERS.
251
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,712
FOUR CORNERS OF WHAT?
252
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,324
IVY, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE
IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY
253
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,887
WHERE FOUR STATES
CONNECT AT ONE SINGLE POINT,
254
00:12:00,891 --> 00:12:05,101
ARIZONA, UTAH, COLORADO,
AND NEW MEXICO.
255
00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:06,955
OH, HARRY!
256
00:12:06,957 --> 00:12:08,797
OH, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!
257
00:12:08,799 --> 00:12:10,859
I KNOW.
258
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:12,961
IT DOESN'T GET MUCH
MORE EXCITING THAN THIS.
259
00:12:15,105 --> 00:12:18,405
IVY, COULD I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
260
00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:20,938
SURE, WHICH STATE WOULD
YOU LIKE TO SEE ME IN?
261
00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:29,777
- Bob: HEY! HOW'RE
THE SANDWICHES COMING?
- ( music playing on TV )
262
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,780
COUPLE MORE MINUTES.
263
00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:34,052
( doorbell rings )
264
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,834
( TV turns off )
265
00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:40,929
HEY, MRS. DOBBS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
266
00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:43,031
- I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
- IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
267
00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:46,403
OH, P.J, I HAVE TO CONFESS
A TERRIBLE SECRET.
268
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:48,896
YOU SEE,
I WAS MARRIED BEFORE.
269
00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:50,769
WELL, THAT'S NOT
THAT MUCH OF A SECRET
270
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,940
SINCE YOUR NAME
IS "MRS. DOBBS."
271
00:12:52,943 --> 00:12:55,513
- LET ME FINISH.
- MM-HMM.
272
00:12:55,505 --> 00:12:57,805
MY FIRST HUSBAND
DID ALL THE COOKING,
273
00:12:57,808 --> 00:13:00,378
SO I NEVER LEARNED HOW.
274
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,350
BUT BERT RAVES
ABOUT YOUR COOKING.
275
00:13:02,352 --> 00:13:04,412
THAT'S BECAUSE
I SECRETLY ORDER TAKEOUT,
276
00:13:04,414 --> 00:13:07,894
AND THEN SERVE IT
AS IF I MADE IT MYSELF.
277
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,488
OH, HEY, MY MOM
USED TO DO THAT...
278
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,090
BACK WHEN SHE STILL CARED.
279
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,833
I CAME OVER BECAUSE
280
00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:17,165
I KNOW YOU'RE GOING
TO COOKING SCHOOL
281
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:20,297
AND I WAS HOPING YOU COULD
TEACH ME A FEW THINGS.
282
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,300
SURE, I'D BE GLAD
TO GIVE YOU A FEW LESSONS.
283
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,432
I JUST HOPE BERT DOESN'T
SEE ME COME OVER HERE.
284
00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:26,844
WELL, IF HE DOES...
( snaps )
285
00:13:26,837 --> 00:13:28,037
YOU JUST TELL HIM...
286
00:13:28,038 --> 00:13:30,278
I'M TEACHING YOU
HOW TO TAP DANCE.
287
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:35,194
YEAH.
288
00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:36,515
I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.
289
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,822
SMILE, TEDDY!
290
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,533
MRS. WENTZ,
IF YOU WANT ME TO SMILE,
291
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,955
YOU MIGHT WANT TO STAND
292
00:13:46,957 --> 00:13:48,357
IN FRONT OF THE PART OF ME
THAT SMILES.
293
00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:52,331
- ( shutters click )
- GOT IT.
294
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,242
OH, HOW'S THE WEATHER
IN ARIZONA, MARY LOU?
295
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:59,305
WELL, IT'S SUNNY AND--
OH, HARRY!
296
00:13:59,309 --> 00:14:00,569
GOTCHA!
297
00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:04,922
WELL, THIS WAS...
298
00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:08,016
CAN WE GET GOING NOW?
299
00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:09,618
RIGHT YOU ARE, IVY.
300
00:14:09,619 --> 00:14:13,979
ONTO OUR FINAL DESTINATION,
LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO.
301
00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:16,964
UM, YOU MEAN NEVADA.
302
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:17,857
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
303
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,957
THAT LAS VEGAS
HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH.
304
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,530
WE'RE GOING TO LAS VEGAS,
NEW MEXICO.
305
00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:24,902
THERE'S A LAS VEGAS,
NEW MEXICO?
306
00:14:24,895 --> 00:14:26,365
THE ORIGINAL.
307
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,866
UH, I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO THE ONE
308
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,468
WITH THE SPAS, THE POOLS
AND THE SHOPPING.
309
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,202
WHAT'S IN LAS VEGAS,
NEW MEXICO?
310
00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:36,184
THE ROUGH-RIDER MUSEUM,
311
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,646
THE WORLD'S LARGEST CACTUS.
312
00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:43,179
IVY, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
313
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,583
I DON'T RECALL.
314
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,224
REALLY?
315
00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:47,886
BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I RECALL.
316
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,487
FIRST, YOU CAME UP
WITH THE IDEA FOR THE ROAD TRIP,
317
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,620
THEN YOU LURED ME
INTO THE R.V.,
318
00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:54,422
AND THEN YOU
CONVENIENTLY LEFT OUT
319
00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:57,334
THE CRUCIAL
"NEW MEXICO" PART
320
00:14:57,327 --> 00:15:00,197
ABOUT LAS VEGAS,
NEW MEXICO.
321
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,230
IVY, YOU DIDN'T TELL TEDDY
322
00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:03,672
WE WERE GOING
TO NEW MEXICO?
323
00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:06,543
SHE DIDN'T TELL ME
WE WERE LEAVING THE DRIVEWAY.
324
00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:09,106
HARRY, IF TEDDY DOESN'T
WANT TO BE ON THIS TRIP,
325
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,109
WE SHOULD GO HOME.
326
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,210
WHAT?!
327
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,981
NO ROUGH RIDERS?
328
00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:15,493
NO BIG CACTUS?
329
00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:18,115
WE CAN COME BACK
ANOTHER TIME.
330
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,148
COME ON, HONEY.
331
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,263
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
332
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:27,626
SEEING WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
333
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,157
TO HAVE MY HEART BROKEN
IN FOUR STATES.
334
00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:35,974
( applause )
335
00:15:35,966 --> 00:15:39,166
- ( deep calming breathes )
- WHY YOU DOING THAT?
336
00:15:39,169 --> 00:15:41,969
BECAUSE BASES ARE LOADED,
AND GABE IS UP TO BAT,
337
00:15:41,972 --> 00:15:43,542
AND I PROMISED
I'D STAY CALM.
338
00:15:45,675 --> 00:15:47,975
- STRIKE ONE!
- WHAT?!
339
00:15:47,978 --> 00:15:49,478
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR...
340
00:15:49,479 --> 00:15:51,719
ZIP CODE?
341
00:15:51,721 --> 00:15:53,381
BECAUSE IF YOU ARE,
342
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:55,193
WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
343
00:15:58,688 --> 00:16:00,058
STRIKE TWO!
344
00:16:04,494 --> 00:16:06,244
YOU STINK, UMP.
345
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,469
WHAT?
IT WAS CHARLIE.
346
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,701
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
347
00:16:12,702 --> 00:16:14,042
GONNA TELL YOUR MOM
YOU WERE PLAYING.
348
00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:15,714
YEAH, I GAVE IT
MY BEST SHOT.
349
00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:19,347
STRIKE THREE!
350
00:16:19,349 --> 00:16:21,379
WHAT?!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
351
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,511
ON WHAT PLANET
IS THAT CONSIDERED A STRIKE?
352
00:16:23,513 --> 00:16:27,663
YOU ARE THE SORRIEST EXCUSE
FOR AN UMP I'VE EVER SEEN!
353
00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:29,017
YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER?
354
00:16:29,019 --> 00:16:30,319
- YEAH.
- FINE.
355
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,765
I THOUGHT YOU CHANGED.
356
00:16:36,766 --> 00:16:39,196
I DID...
357
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,729
THEN I CHANGED BACK.
358
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,384
THANK YOU.
359
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,210
NOW THIS...
360
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,153
IS WHAT WE CALL
A SPOON.
361
00:16:57,147 --> 00:16:59,747
SAY IT WITH ME NOW,
"SPOON."
362
00:16:59,749 --> 00:17:02,589
CAN WE SPEED THIS UP?
THE WEDDING'S TOMORROW.
363
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,034
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
364
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,626
A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
365
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,228
( tapping )
366
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,513
I CAME OVER TO GIVE
MY BEST MAN THE RINGS,
367
00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:19,136
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S
SOMETHING GOING ON HERE.
368
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:23,209
BERT, THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO CONFESS.
369
00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:26,483
I-- I CAN'T COOK.
370
00:17:26,476 --> 00:17:28,676
YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME
ALL THIS TIME?
371
00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:30,448
I'M SORRY.
372
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,180
WELL, SORRY'S
NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
373
00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:33,382
THE WEDDING'S OFF.
374
00:17:35,425 --> 00:17:37,655
THIS IS AWFUL.
375
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,227
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
376
00:17:39,229 --> 00:17:41,459
- ( timer dings )
- OH, I HAVE AN IDEA.
377
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,273
THAT WAS JUST THE TIMER,
BUT I DO HAVE AN IDEA.
378
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,737
BERT, WAIT.
WAIT, BERT.
379
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:50,738
YOU'RE MAKING
A HUGE MISTAKE.
380
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:51,840
MY MIND'S MADE UP.
381
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,141
SHE LIED TO ME
AND I CAN'T FORGIVE THAT.
382
00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:55,814
COME ON,
EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES.
383
00:17:55,805 --> 00:17:57,705
DID SHE LIE?
YES.
384
00:17:57,707 --> 00:17:59,707
DID THAT HURT
THE TRUST? YES.
385
00:17:59,709 --> 00:18:01,779
AM I BAD AT THESE
KINDS OF SPEECHES? YES.
386
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,151
BUT-- BUT--
387
00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:04,783
BUT, BERT,
THERE'S A WOMAN IN THERE
388
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:08,094
WHO IS LEARNING HOW TO COOK
JUST FOR YOU.
389
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,787
NOW WHO ELSE IS GONNA
GO TO THAT MUCH TROUBLE
390
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:10,859
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?
391
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:12,690
( door opens )
392
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,792
THAT'S ALL
I EVER WANTED, BERT;
393
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,334
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
394
00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:19,627
YOU CAN'T COOK ANYTHING?
395
00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,732
I CAN BOIL A HOT DOG.
396
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,276
WELL, OKAY,
THE WEDDING'S BACK ON.
397
00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:38,516
Ivy: T,
398
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,389
I'M SO SORRY
I TRICKED YOU.
399
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,403
I JUST REALLY WANTED YOU
TO COME ALONG.
400
00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:47,125
EVERYTHING'S MORE FUN
WHEN YOU'RE AROUND,
401
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,826
ALWAYS HAS BEEN
EVER SINCE KINDERGARTEN.
402
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,329
WE MET IN PRESCHOOL...
403
00:18:52,802 --> 00:18:55,172
BUT GO ON.
404
00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:58,535
I JUST WANTED TO SPEND
SOME TIME WITH YOU.
405
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,268
WE'RE BOTH GOING AWAY
TO DIFFERENT COLLEGES SOON
406
00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:03,511
AND THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE.
407
00:19:03,513 --> 00:19:07,283
WELL, IVY, WE'RE ALWAYS
GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS.
408
00:19:07,277 --> 00:19:09,817
I KNOW, BUT...
409
00:19:09,819 --> 00:19:11,649
IT WON'T BE THE SAME.
410
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,821
( sighs )
411
00:19:13,823 --> 00:19:15,893
I'M GONNA
MISS YOU SO MUCH.
412
00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:17,855
I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO, T.
413
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,857
AND JUST SO YOU KNOW,
414
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,929
EVERYTHING'S MORE FUN
WHEN YOU'RE AROUND TOO.
415
00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:23,891
THIS LAST DAY
WAS A BAD EXAMPLE,
416
00:19:23,893 --> 00:19:25,743
BUT GENERALLY SPEAKING.
417
00:19:29,399 --> 00:19:30,939
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
418
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:32,770
I'M EVEN GONNA MISS THEM.
419
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,712
MAMA BEAR,
THIS IS TEDDY BEAR.
420
00:19:35,705 --> 00:19:37,945
COME ON BACK.
421
00:19:37,947 --> 00:19:41,477
THIS IS MAMA BEAR, OVER.
422
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,881
TEDDY BEAR WOULD LIKE
TO DO A LITTLE FLIPPITY-FLOP
423
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,263
ON THE WHOLE
LAS VEGAS THING, OVER.
424
00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:52,258
TEDDY BEAR, ARE YOU SAYING
WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING?
425
00:19:52,262 --> 00:19:56,402
WE'RE GOING TO LAS VEGAS,
NEW MEXICO!
426
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,496
COPY THAT.
427
00:20:02,372 --> 00:20:04,472
PLAY BALL!
428
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:07,214
HEY, BATTER,
BATTER, BATTER!
429
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,936
HEY, BATTER, BATTER,
BATTER, BATTER!
430
00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:10,508
- HEY--
- MOM, MOM,
431
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,640
THE UMPIRE DOESN'T CHATTER.
432
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:15,492
SORRY, I JUST
REALLY LIKE THAT PART.
433
00:20:16,646 --> 00:20:18,686
STRIKE ONE!
434
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,249
HEY, WHAT ARE
YOU LOOKING AT?
435
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:22,491
I'LL RUN YOU OUT
OF HERE SO FAST
436
00:20:22,492 --> 00:20:23,792
IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN.
437
00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:26,704
AT LEAST YOU DON'T
HAVE TO GO HOME WITH HER.
438
00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:30,658
NO, NO, NO,
TOO LOW! DOWNSTAIRS!
439
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,760
BALL ONE!
440
00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:33,631
YOU STINK, UMP.
441
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,705
SWEETHEART, NO, NOT NOW.
MOMMY'S THE UMP.
442
00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:39,467
I KNOW.
443
00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:48,254
Well, Charlie,
I went to Las Vegas...
444
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,347
New Mexico.
445
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,720
And I'd tell you
all about the trip,
446
00:20:51,721 --> 00:20:54,781
but as they say,
what happens in Vegas...
447
00:20:54,784 --> 00:20:56,764
is nothing.
448
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,956
But it doesn't matter
449
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,757
because I was with
my best friend,
450
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,459
which means we had
a lot of fun.
451
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,762
Oh, hey, check this out.
452
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:07,304
So by the power
vested in me
453
00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:09,737
by the website
"Five Minute Minister,"
454
00:21:09,739 --> 00:21:13,799
I pronounce you
husband and wife.
455
00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:16,683
( sniffles )
I'm always a wreck
at these things.
456
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,406
( loudly blows nose )
457
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,450
( sighs )
Well, just a--
458
00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:24,782
just another Duncan-family
living-room wedding
459
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,724
between people
we barely know.
460
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:29,818
Wish them good luck,
Charlie.
461
00:21:35,325 --> 00:21:37,625
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ALL THIS WEDDING STUFF
462
00:21:37,627 --> 00:21:39,967
HAS REALLY
GOT ME THINKING.
463
00:21:39,969 --> 00:21:42,069
YOU AND I SHOULD GO OFF
ON THAT SECOND HONEYMOON.
464
00:21:42,071 --> 00:21:43,901
YOU KNOW, THE ONE
WE'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT.
465
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,483
YOU MEAN PARIS?
466
00:21:45,475 --> 00:21:47,035
WHERE ELSE?
467
00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:50,938
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
468
00:21:51,981 --> 00:21:53,881
PARIS, TEXAS?!
469
00:21:53,883 --> 00:21:55,853
OH, YEAH.
470
00:21:55,845 --> 00:21:57,045
WHAT PARIS WE'RE
YOU THINKING OF?
471
00:21:57,046 --> 00:21:59,746
- THE ONE IN FRANCE!
- OH!
472
00:21:59,749 --> 00:22:01,919
THAT'S BEEN DONE TO DEATH.
473
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,921
THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT.
474
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,463
OH, COME ON.
475
00:22:05,455 --> 00:22:07,995
WHO'S GONNA CHOOSE
THIS PLACE OVER FRANCE?
476
00:22:07,997 --> 00:22:11,097
HOWDY, PARTNERS.
477
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,930
WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU
WERE SUCH WORLD TRAVELERS.
478
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,973
HEY, IF YOU WANT
TO JOIN US,
479
00:22:15,965 --> 00:22:17,735
OUR NEXT STOP
IS ATHENS.
480
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:20,737
- GEORGIA?
- WHERE ELSE?
481
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:23,370
GREECE.
GREECE IS WHERE ELSE.
32736
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