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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,378 --> 00:00:09,138 HEY, GIRLS. WHATCHA YOU DOING? 2 00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:10,780 OH WE'RE MAKING A LIST OF ALL THE FUN THINGS 3 00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:13,111 WE WANT TO DO TOGETHER BEFORE WE GO TO COLLEGE. 4 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,694 KIND OF LIKE A BUCKET LIST 5 00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:18,115 EXCEPT INSTEAD OF DYING, WE'RE GRADUATING. 6 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,119 OH OKAY. WELL, WHAT DO YOU HAVE SO FAR? 7 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,321 THE WORD "LIST." 8 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,503 I CAME UP WITH THAT. 9 00:00:24,495 --> 00:00:26,695 I HAVE THE PERFECT IDEA FOR YOU GIRLS. 10 00:00:26,697 --> 00:00:29,557 HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE A RIDE IN A HOT-AIR BALLOON? 11 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,600 OOH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 12 00:00:31,602 --> 00:00:32,732 YUP. 13 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,473 THEN AGAIN, I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. 14 00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:36,535 AND I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT BALLOONS. 15 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,309 OKAY, HOW ABOUT 16 00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:43,571 WATCHING THE SUNRISE FROM THE TOP OF PIKE'S PEAK. 17 00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:46,084 OH, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT. 18 00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:47,517 OF COURSE WE'D HAVE TO GET UP PRETTY EARLY. 19 00:00:47,518 --> 00:00:49,518 AND I BET IT'S COLD UP THERE. 20 00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:52,651 0 FOR 2, MA. 21 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,763 OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU TWO COME UP WITH SOMETHING? 22 00:00:56,587 --> 00:00:58,287 ROAD TRIP. 23 00:00:58,289 --> 00:00:59,529 ( excited ) ROAD TRIP. 24 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,630 THAT'S SOUNDS LIKE FUN. 25 00:01:01,632 --> 00:01:03,292 DONE. 26 00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:04,604 - TAKE A BREAK? - TAKE A BREAK. 27 00:01:06,437 --> 00:01:08,697 ( rock music playing ) 28 00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:10,699 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 29 00:01:10,701 --> 00:01:12,271 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 30 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,853 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 31 00:01:14,845 --> 00:01:16,845 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 32 00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:18,577 ♪ I GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 33 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,279 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 34 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:25,222 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 35 00:01:25,216 --> 00:01:28,516 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 36 00:01:28,519 --> 00:01:30,389 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 37 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,861 ♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 38 00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:34,772 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 39 00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,565 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 40 00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:38,367 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 41 00:01:38,369 --> 00:01:41,369 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 42 00:01:41,372 --> 00:01:43,502 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 43 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,884 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 44 00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:50,677 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 45 00:01:52,383 --> 00:01:54,593 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 46 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,163 ( doorbell rings ) 47 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,698 HEY, NEIGHBORS. 48 00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,200 TO WHAT DO WE OWE THE HONOR? 49 00:02:11,202 --> 00:02:13,802 WE CAME OVER BECAUSE WE HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS. 50 00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:15,674 YEAH, WE'RE GETTING MARRIED. 51 00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:18,206 DIDN'T YOU TWO JUST START DATING? 52 00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:19,809 AT OUR AGE, YOU DON'T WASTE TIME. 53 00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:25,883 WOW, WELL, CONGRATULATIONS 54 00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:27,676 AND, YOU KNOW, MANY HAPPY YEARS. 55 00:02:27,678 --> 00:02:29,848 YEAH, HOLD ON. 56 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,750 - HEY, LISTEN, R.J. - P.J. 57 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:32,852 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER. 58 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,933 I WANT YOU TO BE MY BEST MAN. 59 00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,886 ME? WHY ME? 60 00:02:37,888 --> 00:02:40,288 WELL, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY CLOSEST FRIEND... 61 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,562 WHO'S LIVING. 62 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,944 OH. 63 00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:48,196 YEAH, AS YOU ARE MINE... 64 00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:50,899 SHOULD SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPEN TO ALL MY FRIENDS. 65 00:02:52,703 --> 00:02:54,683 AND, BOB, WE'D LOVE IT 66 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,405 IF YOU WOULD PERFORM THE CEREMONY. 67 00:02:56,407 --> 00:02:58,407 ME? 68 00:02:58,409 --> 00:03:01,509 YOU CAN BE CERTIFIED ONLINE. 69 00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:02,912 I LOOKED INTO IT. 70 00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:06,493 YEAH, WE FIGURED YOU'D BE THE RIGHT CHOICE 71 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,487 SINCE WE'RE HAVING THE WEDDING IN YOUR HOUSE. 72 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,960 EXCUSE ME? 73 00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:13,661 WE WANTED TO HAVE A DESTINATION WEDDING. 74 00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:16,604 YEAH, SO WE THOUGHT "ACROSS THE STREET" 75 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,967 IS THE PERFECT DESTINATION. 76 00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:21,731 SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? 77 00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:23,332 - EH, WELL-- - THANKS. 78 00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:24,984 THAT MEANS AN AWFUL LOT TO US. 79 00:03:24,975 --> 00:03:26,905 THANKS, BOB. 80 00:03:31,442 --> 00:03:33,942 WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE? 81 00:03:33,944 --> 00:03:36,624 I'M NOT SURE. 82 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,487 WE GOT TO STOP ANSWERING THAT DOOR. 83 00:03:44,695 --> 00:03:45,755 HEY, CHARLIE. 84 00:03:45,756 --> 00:03:46,926 HAVE YOU SEEN MOM? 85 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,857 - NO. - GOOD. 86 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,501 AHH! 87 00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:55,574 I SEE HER NOW. 88 00:04:00,311 --> 00:04:01,411 HEY, MOM. 89 00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:02,872 WHAT'S ALL THIS? 90 00:04:02,873 --> 00:04:06,253 OH, UM, I'M GOING TO GO PLAY CATCH WITH JAKE. 91 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,376 IN A UNIFORM? 92 00:04:07,378 --> 00:04:10,448 WE TAKE CATCH PRETTY SERIOUSLY. 93 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,851 ARE YOU PLAYING BASEBALL BEHIND MY BACK? 94 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:14,894 NOT ANYMORE. 95 00:04:14,885 --> 00:04:16,885 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 96 00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:18,987 BECAUSE, MOM, EVERY TIME YOU WATCH ME PLAY, 97 00:04:18,989 --> 00:04:21,859 YOU YELL, YOU SCREAM, AND GET TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. 98 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,362 THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ME. 99 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,474 YES, IT DOES. 100 00:04:26,337 --> 00:04:28,567 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE PLAYING SECRET BASEBALL. 101 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,039 IT'S ONLY A SECRET TO YOU. SEE YA. 102 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,014 CHARLIE, HONEY, 103 00:04:36,006 --> 00:04:38,576 YOU'D NEVER PLAY A SPORT BEHIND MY BACK, WOULD YOU? 104 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,549 - NO, MOMMY. - THAT'S MY GIRL. 105 00:04:41,712 --> 00:04:43,882 HEY, CHARLIE, YOU READY FOR T-BALL PRACTICE? 106 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,764 HEY! 107 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,992 ( doorbell rings ) 108 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,727 HEY, IVY, WHAT'S UP? 109 00:04:58,729 --> 00:05:01,299 SO MY DAD, HE JUST BOUGHT THIS NEW R.V. 110 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,501 WOULD YOU MIND CHECKING IT OUT, 111 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,883 MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT HOW COOL IT IS? 112 00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,035 IT WOULD REALLY MAKE HIS DAY. 113 00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:09,678 T? 114 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,940 SORRY. 115 00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,881 I WAS JUST REMEMBERING SOMETHING MY DAD SAID 116 00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:14,823 ABOUT NOT ANSWERING THE DOOR. 117 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,619 WELCOME ABOARD, TEDDY. 118 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,091 I'M CAPTAIN HARRY 119 00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:23,952 AND THE PILOT OF THIS VESSEL. 120 00:05:23,954 --> 00:05:25,734 I BELIEVE YOU KNOW MY COPILOT. 121 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,896 AHOY, TEDDY. 122 00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:30,028 OH, WOW, MR. WENTZ. 123 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,400 THIS IS FANTASTIC. YOU KNOW, 124 00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:36,974 IT'S A HOME THAT HAS A MOTOR. 125 00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:39,707 AND IT'S RECREATIONAL, 126 00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:41,910 BUT IT'S ALSO A VEHICLE. 127 00:05:42,913 --> 00:05:45,053 AND AIN'T SHE A BEAUTY? 128 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,375 IVY, GIVE TEDDY THE TOUR. 129 00:05:47,378 --> 00:05:48,618 SURE. 130 00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:50,449 Ivy: ALL RIGHT, 131 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:53,881 THIS IS THE KITCHEN, DINING ROOM, LIVING ROOM, 132 00:05:53,884 --> 00:05:56,834 YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT HOW COMFY THE SEATS ARE. 133 00:05:56,827 --> 00:06:00,787 - YEAH. MM-HMM. - ( seatbelt clicks ) 134 00:06:01,792 --> 00:06:03,732 OKAY, DAD. LET'S GO. 135 00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:05,804 - ( engine starts ) - WHAT'S GOING ON? 136 00:06:05,796 --> 00:06:07,836 REMEMBER THE ROAD TRIP WE WANTED TO TAKE? 137 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,769 WE'RE ON IT! 138 00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:16,946 OKAY, BOYS, 139 00:06:16,947 --> 00:06:19,977 YOUR DAD IS ABOUT TO BECOME A WEDDING OFFICIANT. 140 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:23,680 OKAY, I HOPE THIS ISN'T TOO COMPLICATED. 141 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:24,894 "NAME." 142 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,985 ( typing ) 143 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,016 "EMAIL ADDRESS." 144 00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:31,089 "ORDAIN ME." 145 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,091 ( harps play ) 146 00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:34,904 ( doorbell rings ) 147 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,895 - I'LL GET IT, DAD. - HEY. REVEREND BOB. 148 00:06:41,972 --> 00:06:44,742 HEY, WE'RE HERE FOR THE BACHELOR PARTY. 149 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,036 WHAT BACHELOR PARTY? 150 00:06:48,038 --> 00:06:49,578 THE ONE YOU'RE THROWING. 151 00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:51,710 YOU'RE MY BEST MAN. IT'S PART OF THE JOB. 152 00:06:52,943 --> 00:06:55,823 OKAY, WELL, COME ON IN. 153 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,016 THIS IS ARNIE. 154 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,887 WE WORK TOGETHER AT THE POST OFFICE. 155 00:06:58,889 --> 00:07:01,089 ( heavy accent ) I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE FOOD. 156 00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:04,963 OKAY, WELL, UH... 157 00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:07,055 YOU GUYS GO ON DOWNSTAIRS 158 00:07:07,057 --> 00:07:08,427 AND I'LL PUT SOMETHING TOGETHER. 159 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,061 HEY, COME ON, BOB. 160 00:07:12,062 --> 00:07:13,532 - ME? - YEAH. 161 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,914 FOUR'S A PARTY. 162 00:07:14,905 --> 00:07:16,735 THREE'S JUST SAD. 163 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,810 FOUR CAN BE SAD, TOO. 164 00:07:28,579 --> 00:07:31,049 YOU EVER THINK MY PARENTS MIGHT WONDER WHERE I AM? 165 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,881 THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE. 166 00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:34,153 YOUR MOM EVEN PACKED YOUR BAG. 167 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,456 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M MAKING A NEW LIST, 168 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,988 AND YOU AND MY MOM ARE ON IT. 169 00:07:42,032 --> 00:07:44,462 COME ON, T, IT'S GONNA BE FUN. 170 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,074 WHERE ARE WE GOING, ANYWAY? 171 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,537 LAS VEGAS. 172 00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,070 OH, I LOVE VEGAS! 173 00:07:51,942 --> 00:07:54,072 HEY, MR. WENTZ, 174 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,714 HOW LONG UNTIL WE GET TO LAS VEGAS? 175 00:07:56,707 --> 00:07:58,007 OH, HARD TO SAY. 176 00:07:58,008 --> 00:07:59,048 DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH TIME 177 00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:01,909 WE SPEND AT THE MYSTERY STOP. 178 00:08:01,912 --> 00:08:04,012 WE'RE MAKING A MYSTERY STOP? 179 00:08:04,014 --> 00:08:06,664 OH, I LOVE HARRY'S MYSTERY STOPS. 180 00:08:06,657 --> 00:08:10,817 SOMETIMES THEY'RE BETTER THAN THE FINAL DESTINATION. 181 00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:12,621 OOH, I JUST GOT TINGLY! 182 00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:14,903 DID YOU GIRLS GET TINGLY? 183 00:08:15,966 --> 00:08:17,896 WE MIGHT AS WELL GET COMFORTABLE. 184 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,898 SHE'S GONNA BE TINGLY FOR A WHILE. 185 00:08:28,238 --> 00:08:29,978 HEY, MOM. 186 00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:32,080 HELLO, GABRIEL. 187 00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:35,785 HOW WAS YOUR BASEBALL GAME? 188 00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:37,516 IT WAS GREAT. WE WON 4-1 189 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,717 AND I HAD TWO HITS. 190 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,749 HUH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING 191 00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:42,951 A PARENT MIGHT ENJOY SEEING. 192 00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:45,703 MOM, HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA GO ON? 193 00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:48,096 HOW LONG IS BASEBALL SEASON? 194 00:08:48,098 --> 00:08:51,098 LOOK, OKAY, I ADMIT THAT IN THE PAST, 195 00:08:51,101 --> 00:08:55,011 I MAY HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE... ANIMATED, 196 00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:56,865 BUT A PERSON CAN CHANGE. 197 00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:58,237 YEAH, SURE, A PERSON CAN CHANGE, 198 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,268 BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? 199 00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:02,070 LOOK, IF YOU LET ME GO TO YOUR GAME, 200 00:09:02,072 --> 00:09:03,942 I PROMISE THAT I WILL BE SO QUIET 201 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,584 YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW THAT I'M THERE. 202 00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:06,816 ( sighs ) 203 00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:08,017 WHAT DO YOU THINK, TOBY? SHOULD I TRUST HER? 204 00:09:08,018 --> 00:09:09,748 NO. 205 00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,081 DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. HE'S ONE. 206 00:09:14,084 --> 00:09:16,764 AND YET HE'S PROBABLY RIGHT. 207 00:09:28,699 --> 00:09:31,039 SO... 208 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,871 WE'VE PLAYED PINOCHLE. 209 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,748 NOW WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO DO? 210 00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,610 YOU TELL US, 211 00:09:41,612 --> 00:09:45,322 BEST MAN. 212 00:09:45,315 --> 00:09:46,985 ( loudly whispers ) HE SHOULD HAVE PLANNED 213 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,757 MORE ACTIVITIES. 214 00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,659 HE'S DROPPING THE BALL. 215 00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:53,622 JUST SO YOU KNOW, 216 00:09:53,624 --> 00:09:55,074 OLD GUY WHISPERING 217 00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,195 IS JUST LIKE YOUNG GUY TALKING. 218 00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:01,697 ( loudly whispers ) YOUR BEST MAN HAS A LOT OF TOOT. 219 00:10:03,373 --> 00:10:05,613 WELL, I BETTER GET UPSTAIRS 220 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,675 AND MAKE SOME MORE SANDWICHES. 221 00:10:06,677 --> 00:10:07,837 UH, YOU NEED SOME HELP WITH THAT? 222 00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:09,308 NO, YOU COME UP WITH YOUR OWN EXCUSE. 223 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,786 SO YOU-- 224 00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:20,888 YOU GUYS WERE POSTAL WORKERS, HUH? 225 00:10:20,891 --> 00:10:22,891 EXTERMINATOR. 226 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,855 ( loudly whispers ) HE'S MORE BORING 227 00:10:27,858 --> 00:10:29,698 THAN THE SON. 228 00:10:35,806 --> 00:10:38,966 ( reading ) "RIGHT LANE ENDS." 229 00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:41,909 "WATCH FOR FALLING ROCKS." 230 00:10:41,912 --> 00:10:43,972 ARE YOU GONNA READ EVERY ROAD SIGN? 231 00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:47,084 THIS IS HOW I KEEP MY SANITY ON THESE TRIPS. 232 00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:51,849 "EXIT 29B." 233 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,752 - ( radio static ) - THIS IS MAMA BEAR 234 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,994 CRUISING DOWN THE HIGHWAY 235 00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,885 WITH A COUPLE OF CUBBIES AND A HUBBY-WUBBY 236 00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:58,787 ON OUR WAY TO A MYSTERY STOP. 237 00:10:58,789 --> 00:11:00,089 COME ON BACK. 238 00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:04,702 THIS IS MAMA BEAR. ANYBODY HAVE THEIR EARS ON? 239 00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:07,735 ( distorted crackle, muffled speech ) 240 00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:10,238 SOUNDS LIKE WE GOT A MUD DUCK. 241 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,670 AFFIRMATIVE TO THAT, HUBBY-WUBBY. 242 00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:16,384 THAT'S C.B. LINGO, TEDDY. 243 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,676 WHAT I SAID WAS "SOUNDS LIKE HE'S GOT A WEAK SIGNAL." 244 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,279 AND I RESPONDED "I AGREE, HUSBAND." 245 00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:29,016 "SPEED LIMIT: 70." 246 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,328 YOU'RE NOT PEEKING, NOW ARE YOU, MARY LOU? 247 00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:43,169 OH NO! I WOULDN'T SPOIL A MYSTERY STOP. 248 00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:44,883 ALL RIGHT. 249 00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:46,335 OPEN YOUR EYES. 250 00:11:47,337 --> 00:11:49,477 WELCOME TO THE FOUR CORNERS. 251 00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,712 FOUR CORNERS OF WHAT? 252 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,324 IVY, THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY 253 00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,887 WHERE FOUR STATES CONNECT AT ONE SINGLE POINT, 254 00:12:00,891 --> 00:12:05,101 ARIZONA, UTAH, COLORADO, AND NEW MEXICO. 255 00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:06,955 OH, HARRY! 256 00:12:06,957 --> 00:12:08,797 OH, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN! 257 00:12:08,799 --> 00:12:10,859 I KNOW. 258 00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:12,961 IT DOESN'T GET MUCH MORE EXCITING THAN THIS. 259 00:12:15,105 --> 00:12:18,405 IVY, COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 260 00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:20,938 SURE, WHICH STATE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ME IN? 261 00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:29,777 - Bob: HEY! HOW'RE THE SANDWICHES COMING? - ( music playing on TV ) 262 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,780 COUPLE MORE MINUTES. 263 00:12:31,782 --> 00:12:34,052 ( doorbell rings ) 264 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,834 ( TV turns off ) 265 00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:40,929 HEY, MRS. DOBBS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 266 00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:43,031 - I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU. - IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 267 00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:46,403 OH, P.J, I HAVE TO CONFESS A TERRIBLE SECRET. 268 00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:48,896 YOU SEE, I WAS MARRIED BEFORE. 269 00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:50,769 WELL, THAT'S NOT THAT MUCH OF A SECRET 270 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,940 SINCE YOUR NAME IS "MRS. DOBBS." 271 00:12:52,943 --> 00:12:55,513 - LET ME FINISH. - MM-HMM. 272 00:12:55,505 --> 00:12:57,805 MY FIRST HUSBAND DID ALL THE COOKING, 273 00:12:57,808 --> 00:13:00,378 SO I NEVER LEARNED HOW. 274 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,350 BUT BERT RAVES ABOUT YOUR COOKING. 275 00:13:02,352 --> 00:13:04,412 THAT'S BECAUSE I SECRETLY ORDER TAKEOUT, 276 00:13:04,414 --> 00:13:07,894 AND THEN SERVE IT AS IF I MADE IT MYSELF. 277 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,488 OH, HEY, MY MOM USED TO DO THAT... 278 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,090 BACK WHEN SHE STILL CARED. 279 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,833 I CAME OVER BECAUSE 280 00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:17,165 I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO COOKING SCHOOL 281 00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:20,297 AND I WAS HOPING YOU COULD TEACH ME A FEW THINGS. 282 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,300 SURE, I'D BE GLAD TO GIVE YOU A FEW LESSONS. 283 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,432 I JUST HOPE BERT DOESN'T SEE ME COME OVER HERE. 284 00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:26,844 WELL, IF HE DOES... ( snaps ) 285 00:13:26,837 --> 00:13:28,037 YOU JUST TELL HIM... 286 00:13:28,038 --> 00:13:30,278 I'M TEACHING YOU HOW TO TAP DANCE. 287 00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:35,194 YEAH. 288 00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:36,515 I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. 289 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,822 SMILE, TEDDY! 290 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,533 MRS. WENTZ, IF YOU WANT ME TO SMILE, 291 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,955 YOU MIGHT WANT TO STAND 292 00:13:46,957 --> 00:13:48,357 IN FRONT OF THE PART OF ME THAT SMILES. 293 00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:52,331 - ( shutters click ) - GOT IT. 294 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,242 OH, HOW'S THE WEATHER IN ARIZONA, MARY LOU? 295 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:59,305 WELL, IT'S SUNNY AND-- OH, HARRY! 296 00:13:59,309 --> 00:14:00,569 GOTCHA! 297 00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:04,922 WELL, THIS WAS... 298 00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:08,016 CAN WE GET GOING NOW? 299 00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:09,618 RIGHT YOU ARE, IVY. 300 00:14:09,619 --> 00:14:13,979 ONTO OUR FINAL DESTINATION, LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO. 301 00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:16,964 UM, YOU MEAN NEVADA. 302 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:17,857 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 303 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,957 THAT LAS VEGAS HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH. 304 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,530 WE'RE GOING TO LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO. 305 00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:24,902 THERE'S A LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO? 306 00:14:24,895 --> 00:14:26,365 THE ORIGINAL. 307 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,866 UH, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO THE ONE 308 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,468 WITH THE SPAS, THE POOLS AND THE SHOPPING. 309 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,202 WHAT'S IN LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO? 310 00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:36,184 THE ROUGH-RIDER MUSEUM, 311 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,646 THE WORLD'S LARGEST CACTUS. 312 00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:43,179 IVY, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? 313 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,583 I DON'T RECALL. 314 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,224 REALLY? 315 00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:47,886 BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I RECALL. 316 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,487 FIRST, YOU CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THE ROAD TRIP, 317 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,620 THEN YOU LURED ME INTO THE R.V., 318 00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:54,422 AND THEN YOU CONVENIENTLY LEFT OUT 319 00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:57,334 THE CRUCIAL "NEW MEXICO" PART 320 00:14:57,327 --> 00:15:00,197 ABOUT LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO. 321 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,230 IVY, YOU DIDN'T TELL TEDDY 322 00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:03,672 WE WERE GOING TO NEW MEXICO? 323 00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:06,543 SHE DIDN'T TELL ME WE WERE LEAVING THE DRIVEWAY. 324 00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:09,106 HARRY, IF TEDDY DOESN'T WANT TO BE ON THIS TRIP, 325 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,109 WE SHOULD GO HOME. 326 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,210 WHAT?! 327 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,981 NO ROUGH RIDERS? 328 00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:15,493 NO BIG CACTUS? 329 00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:18,115 WE CAN COME BACK ANOTHER TIME. 330 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,148 COME ON, HONEY. 331 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,263 DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 332 00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:27,626 SEEING WHAT IT FEELS LIKE 333 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,157 TO HAVE MY HEART BROKEN IN FOUR STATES. 334 00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:35,974 ( applause ) 335 00:15:35,966 --> 00:15:39,166 - ( deep calming breathes ) - WHY YOU DOING THAT? 336 00:15:39,169 --> 00:15:41,969 BECAUSE BASES ARE LOADED, AND GABE IS UP TO BAT, 337 00:15:41,972 --> 00:15:43,542 AND I PROMISED I'D STAY CALM. 338 00:15:45,675 --> 00:15:47,975 - STRIKE ONE! - WHAT?! 339 00:15:47,978 --> 00:15:49,478 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR... 340 00:15:49,479 --> 00:15:51,719 ZIP CODE? 341 00:15:51,721 --> 00:15:53,381 BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, 342 00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:55,193 WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 343 00:15:58,688 --> 00:16:00,058 STRIKE TWO! 344 00:16:04,494 --> 00:16:06,244 YOU STINK, UMP. 345 00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,469 WHAT? IT WAS CHARLIE. 346 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,701 I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T 347 00:16:12,702 --> 00:16:14,042 GONNA TELL YOUR MOM YOU WERE PLAYING. 348 00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:15,714 YEAH, I GAVE IT MY BEST SHOT. 349 00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:19,347 STRIKE THREE! 350 00:16:19,349 --> 00:16:21,379 WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 351 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,511 ON WHAT PLANET IS THAT CONSIDERED A STRIKE? 352 00:16:23,513 --> 00:16:27,663 YOU ARE THE SORRIEST EXCUSE FOR AN UMP I'VE EVER SEEN! 353 00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:29,017 YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER? 354 00:16:29,019 --> 00:16:30,319 - YEAH. - FINE. 355 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,765 I THOUGHT YOU CHANGED. 356 00:16:36,766 --> 00:16:39,196 I DID... 357 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,729 THEN I CHANGED BACK. 358 00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,384 THANK YOU. 359 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,210 NOW THIS... 360 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,153 IS WHAT WE CALL A SPOON. 361 00:16:57,147 --> 00:16:59,747 SAY IT WITH ME NOW, "SPOON." 362 00:16:59,749 --> 00:17:02,589 CAN WE SPEED THIS UP? THE WEDDING'S TOMORROW. 363 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,034 HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 364 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,626 A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 365 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,228 ( tapping ) 366 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,513 I CAME OVER TO GIVE MY BEST MAN THE RINGS, 367 00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:19,136 BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HERE. 368 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:23,209 BERT, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO CONFESS. 369 00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:26,483 I-- I CAN'T COOK. 370 00:17:26,476 --> 00:17:28,676 YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME ALL THIS TIME? 371 00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:30,448 I'M SORRY. 372 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,180 WELL, SORRY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 373 00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:33,382 THE WEDDING'S OFF. 374 00:17:35,425 --> 00:17:37,655 THIS IS AWFUL. 375 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,227 WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 376 00:17:39,229 --> 00:17:41,459 - ( timer dings ) - OH, I HAVE AN IDEA. 377 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,273 THAT WAS JUST THE TIMER, BUT I DO HAVE AN IDEA. 378 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,737 BERT, WAIT. WAIT, BERT. 379 00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:50,738 YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE. 380 00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:51,840 MY MIND'S MADE UP. 381 00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,141 SHE LIED TO ME AND I CAN'T FORGIVE THAT. 382 00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:55,814 COME ON, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. 383 00:17:55,805 --> 00:17:57,705 DID SHE LIE? YES. 384 00:17:57,707 --> 00:17:59,707 DID THAT HURT THE TRUST? YES. 385 00:17:59,709 --> 00:18:01,779 AM I BAD AT THESE KINDS OF SPEECHES? YES. 386 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,151 BUT-- BUT-- 387 00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:04,783 BUT, BERT, THERE'S A WOMAN IN THERE 388 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:08,094 WHO IS LEARNING HOW TO COOK JUST FOR YOU. 389 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,787 NOW WHO ELSE IS GONNA GO TO THAT MUCH TROUBLE 390 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:10,859 TO MAKE YOU HAPPY? 391 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:12,690 ( door opens ) 392 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,792 THAT'S ALL I EVER WANTED, BERT; 393 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,334 TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 394 00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:19,627 YOU CAN'T COOK ANYTHING? 395 00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,732 I CAN BOIL A HOT DOG. 396 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,276 WELL, OKAY, THE WEDDING'S BACK ON. 397 00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:38,516 Ivy: T, 398 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,389 I'M SO SORRY I TRICKED YOU. 399 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,403 I JUST REALLY WANTED YOU TO COME ALONG. 400 00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:47,125 EVERYTHING'S MORE FUN WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, 401 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,826 ALWAYS HAS BEEN EVER SINCE KINDERGARTEN. 402 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,329 WE MET IN PRESCHOOL... 403 00:18:52,802 --> 00:18:55,172 BUT GO ON. 404 00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:58,535 I JUST WANTED TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU. 405 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,268 WE'RE BOTH GOING AWAY TO DIFFERENT COLLEGES SOON 406 00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:03,511 AND THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE. 407 00:19:03,513 --> 00:19:07,283 WELL, IVY, WE'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS. 408 00:19:07,277 --> 00:19:09,817 I KNOW, BUT... 409 00:19:09,819 --> 00:19:11,649 IT WON'T BE THE SAME. 410 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,821 ( sighs ) 411 00:19:13,823 --> 00:19:15,893 I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH. 412 00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:17,855 I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO, T. 413 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,857 AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, 414 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,929 EVERYTHING'S MORE FUN WHEN YOU'RE AROUND TOO. 415 00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:23,891 THIS LAST DAY WAS A BAD EXAMPLE, 416 00:19:23,893 --> 00:19:25,743 BUT GENERALLY SPEAKING. 417 00:19:29,399 --> 00:19:30,939 BELIEVE IT OR NOT, 418 00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:32,770 I'M EVEN GONNA MISS THEM. 419 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,712 MAMA BEAR, THIS IS TEDDY BEAR. 420 00:19:35,705 --> 00:19:37,945 COME ON BACK. 421 00:19:37,947 --> 00:19:41,477 THIS IS MAMA BEAR, OVER. 422 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,881 TEDDY BEAR WOULD LIKE TO DO A LITTLE FLIPPITY-FLOP 423 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,263 ON THE WHOLE LAS VEGAS THING, OVER. 424 00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:52,258 TEDDY BEAR, ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING? 425 00:19:52,262 --> 00:19:56,402 WE'RE GOING TO LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO! 426 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,496 COPY THAT. 427 00:20:02,372 --> 00:20:04,472 PLAY BALL! 428 00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:07,214 HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! 429 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,936 HEY, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER! 430 00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:10,508 - HEY-- - MOM, MOM, 431 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,640 THE UMPIRE DOESN'T CHATTER. 432 00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:15,492 SORRY, I JUST REALLY LIKE THAT PART. 433 00:20:16,646 --> 00:20:18,686 STRIKE ONE! 434 00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,249 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 435 00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:22,491 I'LL RUN YOU OUT OF HERE SO FAST 436 00:20:22,492 --> 00:20:23,792 IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. 437 00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:26,704 AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME WITH HER. 438 00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:30,658 NO, NO, NO, TOO LOW! DOWNSTAIRS! 439 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,760 BALL ONE! 440 00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:33,631 YOU STINK, UMP. 441 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,705 SWEETHEART, NO, NOT NOW. MOMMY'S THE UMP. 442 00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:39,467 I KNOW. 443 00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:48,254 Well, Charlie, I went to Las Vegas... 444 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,347 New Mexico. 445 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,720 And I'd tell you all about the trip, 446 00:20:51,721 --> 00:20:54,781 but as they say, what happens in Vegas... 447 00:20:54,784 --> 00:20:56,764 is nothing. 448 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,956 But it doesn't matter 449 00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,757 because I was with my best friend, 450 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,459 which means we had a lot of fun. 451 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,762 Oh, hey, check this out. 452 00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:07,304 So by the power vested in me 453 00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:09,737 by the website "Five Minute Minister," 454 00:21:09,739 --> 00:21:13,799 I pronounce you husband and wife. 455 00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:16,683 ( sniffles ) I'm always a wreck at these things. 456 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,406 ( loudly blows nose ) 457 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,450 ( sighs ) Well, just a-- 458 00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:24,782 just another Duncan-family living-room wedding 459 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,724 between people we barely know. 460 00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:29,818 Wish them good luck, Charlie. 461 00:21:35,325 --> 00:21:37,625 YOU KNOW WHAT? ALL THIS WEDDING STUFF 462 00:21:37,627 --> 00:21:39,967 HAS REALLY GOT ME THINKING. 463 00:21:39,969 --> 00:21:42,069 YOU AND I SHOULD GO OFF ON THAT SECOND HONEYMOON. 464 00:21:42,071 --> 00:21:43,901 YOU KNOW, THE ONE WE'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT. 465 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,483 YOU MEAN PARIS? 466 00:21:45,475 --> 00:21:47,035 WHERE ELSE? 467 00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:50,938 YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 468 00:21:51,981 --> 00:21:53,881 PARIS, TEXAS?! 469 00:21:53,883 --> 00:21:55,853 OH, YEAH. 470 00:21:55,845 --> 00:21:57,045 WHAT PARIS WE'RE YOU THINKING OF? 471 00:21:57,046 --> 00:21:59,746 - THE ONE IN FRANCE! - OH! 472 00:21:59,749 --> 00:22:01,919 THAT'S BEEN DONE TO DEATH. 473 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,921 THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT. 474 00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,463 OH, COME ON. 475 00:22:05,455 --> 00:22:07,995 WHO'S GONNA CHOOSE THIS PLACE OVER FRANCE? 476 00:22:07,997 --> 00:22:11,097 HOWDY, PARTNERS. 477 00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,930 WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE SUCH WORLD TRAVELERS. 478 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,973 HEY, IF YOU WANT TO JOIN US, 479 00:22:15,965 --> 00:22:17,735 OUR NEXT STOP IS ATHENS. 480 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:20,737 - GEORGIA? - WHERE ELSE? 481 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:23,370 GREECE. GREECE IS WHERE ELSE. 32736

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