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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,481 --> 00:00:12,481 I KNOW. 2 00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,453 WELL, HANG IN THERE, HONEY, OKAY? 3 00:00:14,445 --> 00:00:15,715 OKAY, BYE-BYE. 4 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,546 ( phone beeps ) 5 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,050 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SHAVE. 6 00:00:22,053 --> 00:00:23,523 WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? 7 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,404 I WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR MUTTON CHOPS TO COME BACK. 8 00:00:26,397 --> 00:00:30,157 THESE BAD BOYS AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE. 9 00:00:30,161 --> 00:00:32,301 I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH GABE. 10 00:00:32,303 --> 00:00:35,043 APPARENTLY GABE JUNIOR IS QUITE A CHALLENGE. 11 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,265 HE EVEN REFERRED TO HIM AS "THE DEVIL CHILD." 12 00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,039 WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND, HUH? 13 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,710 - WHOO! UP TOP. - ( laughs ) 14 00:00:41,712 --> 00:00:43,742 MOM, TOBY'S NOT TALKING TO ME. 15 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,254 TOBY, TALK TO CHARLIE. 16 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,776 - NO WAY. - TOBY... 17 00:00:46,777 --> 00:00:49,577 HEY, DAD, CHOPS ARE LOOKING GOOD. 18 00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:51,320 OH, THANKS, PAL. 19 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:52,552 YOU KNOW, IT TOOK FIVE TRIES, 20 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,533 BUT I FINALLY GOT A KID TO BE NICE TO ME. 21 00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:57,686 TOBY'S BEEN GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT 22 00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,428 FOR TWO DAYS. 23 00:00:59,430 --> 00:01:02,660 - WHAT'D YOU DO? - NOTHING! 24 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,573 WELL, OKAY. ( sighs ) 25 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,665 I TOLD SOME GIRL THAT HE LIKED HER. 26 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,597 IT'S FUNNY HOW, WHENEVER YOU SAY "NOTHING," 27 00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:10,169 IT'S ALWAYS FOLLOWED BY SOMETHING. 28 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,641 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 29 00:01:12,643 --> 00:01:14,153 NOTHING. 30 00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,775 WELL, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT TOBY? 31 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,407 YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT TEDDY WENT THROUGH SOMETHING 32 00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:20,680 LIKE THIS WITH GABE ONCE. 33 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,211 DO YOU THINK SHE DID A VIDEO DIARY ABOUT IT? 34 00:01:23,214 --> 00:01:26,424 I THINK SHE DID A VIDEO DIARY ABOUT EVERYTHING. 35 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,488 ( phone rings ) 36 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,173 HEY, GABE. 37 00:01:34,165 --> 00:01:37,265 HI. GABE JUNIOR. 38 00:01:37,268 --> 00:01:38,598 YOU DID WHAT? 39 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:42,169 YOU TIED YOUR DADDY TO A CHAIR? 40 00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:45,483 HONEY, LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY, OKAY? 41 00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:48,606 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK A CAMERA PHONE? 42 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,640 GREAT. 43 00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:53,212 ( rock music playing ) 44 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,624 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 45 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,545 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 46 00:01:56,547 --> 00:01:59,417 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 47 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,320 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 48 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,722 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 49 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,803 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 50 00:02:06,397 --> 00:02:09,497 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 51 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,660 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 52 00:02:12,663 --> 00:02:14,673 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 53 00:02:14,665 --> 00:02:16,365 ♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 54 00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:19,237 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 55 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,870 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 56 00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:22,671 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 57 00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:25,623 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 58 00:02:25,616 --> 00:02:27,646 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 59 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:31,678 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 60 00:02:31,682 --> 00:02:35,632 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 61 00:02:36,627 --> 00:02:39,557 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 62 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:58,706 COMPUTER, BRING UP TEDDY'S VIDEO DIARIES. 63 00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,679 - ( beeping ) - Female Voice: Accessing files. 64 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,751 CROSS REFERENCE "SILENT TREATMENT." 65 00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:05,264 Hey, Charlie. 66 00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:08,356 Well, crazy week for the Duncan family. 67 00:03:08,359 --> 00:03:10,289 This is going to be a long one, 68 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,521 so you might want to get comfortable. 69 00:03:12,523 --> 00:03:15,833 Anyway, it all started a few days ago. 70 00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:17,426 ( chuckling ) OH! 71 00:03:17,428 --> 00:03:20,398 CHARLIE, IT'S SO SWEET YOU'RE PLAYING WITH TOBY. 72 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,801 YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD BIG SISTER. 73 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,242 NO, I'M NOT. 74 00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:25,405 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 75 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:29,336 I GOT IN TROUBLE. THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT. 76 00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:31,510 WELL... 77 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,682 YOU'RE STILL A SISTER. 78 00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:35,254 ( doorbell rings ) 79 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,518 HI, LAUREN. 80 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,990 HI, TEDDY. IS GABE HERE? 81 00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:43,891 UH, NO. DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE HIM A MESSAGE? 82 00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:45,904 YEAH, COULD YOU TELL HIM I NEED TO TALK TO HIM? 83 00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:47,356 IT'S ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. 84 00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:49,398 OH. OKAY. 85 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,530 UM, I'LL HAVE HIM CALL YOU. 86 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,602 NO, I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS IN PERSON. 87 00:03:53,604 --> 00:03:55,274 ALL RIGHT. 88 00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:56,436 THANKS. 89 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,371 UH-OH. 90 00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:03,443 WHAT'S WRONG? 91 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,354 WELL, USUALLY WHEN A GIRL 92 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,476 SAYS SHE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP, 93 00:04:07,478 --> 00:04:09,878 IT MEANS SHE DOESN'T LIKE THE BOY ANYMORE. 94 00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:15,893 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. 95 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,559 Meanwhile, there was some trouble brewing 96 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,832 in the neighborhood. 97 00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:26,765 WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM. 98 00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:31,499 WELL, COME ON IN, DEBBIE. 99 00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,672 I CAME OUTSIDE THIS MORNING 100 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,554 TO FIND THAT SOME HOOLIGAN 101 00:04:35,546 --> 00:04:38,946 HAD RUBBED SOAP ALL OVER MY CAR WINDOWS. 102 00:04:38,949 --> 00:04:41,009 SO I GUESS WHAT I'M ASKING IS: 103 00:04:41,011 --> 00:04:43,811 WHERE WAS GABE LAST NIGHT? 104 00:04:43,814 --> 00:04:46,494 ALL RIGHT, IT WASN'T GABE. 105 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,717 HE'S TOO OLD FOR THAT KIND OF STUFF. 106 00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:49,618 NO, BESIDES, SOAP WAS NEVER HIS THING. 107 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,360 EGGS, WATER BALLOONS, TOILET PAPER-- 108 00:04:52,363 --> 00:04:53,723 THAT'S REALLY WHERE HE EXCELLED. 109 00:04:53,724 --> 00:04:55,404 WELL, WHOEVER IT WAS, 110 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,826 WE NEED TO CATCH HIM. 111 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,497 ALMOST EVERYONE ON THE BLOCK'S 112 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,469 BEEN HIT BY THE MAD SOAPER. 113 00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:02,832 YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED? 114 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,413 WE NEED A NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH. 115 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,005 OKAY, SO WHY DON'T WE GET EVERYBODY TOGETHER TONIGHT? 116 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,777 - WE CAN DO IT HERE. - OOH, COULD I CATER IT? 117 00:05:08,779 --> 00:05:10,409 I'VE GOT SOME NEW IDEAS FOR APPETIZERS. 118 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,811 I COULD WRAP BACON AROUND-- 119 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,742 OOH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 120 00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,415 I'LL GO SPREAD THE WORD. 121 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:20,450 OH! 122 00:05:20,451 --> 00:05:22,321 MY CAR GOT SOAPED. 123 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,532 WHERE WAS ABE LAST NIGHT? 124 00:05:25,596 --> 00:05:27,626 IT'S GABE. 125 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,728 SO... HE'S GOT A PARTNER NOW, HUH? 126 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,006 ( door opens ) 127 00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,438 - HEY. - HEY. 128 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,970 OH, GABE, LAUREN STOPPED BY. 129 00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:42,471 SHE WANTS YOU TO COME OVER. 130 00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:44,423 - OH, OKAY. - WAIT, HOLD ON. 131 00:05:44,415 --> 00:05:47,045 UM, SHE SAID THAT SHE WANTS 132 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,617 TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 133 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,620 ( quietly murmurs ) OKAY. 134 00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:53,982 HOLD ON. 135 00:05:53,984 --> 00:05:55,594 COME SIT WITH YOUR SISTER. 136 00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:56,586 WE NEED TO TALK. 137 00:05:56,587 --> 00:05:58,087 - ALL RIGHT... - ( sighs ) 138 00:05:58,088 --> 00:06:01,088 HE SAID, SLIGHTLY CREEPED OUT. 139 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:03,433 LOOK... 140 00:06:03,434 --> 00:06:05,004 DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN A GIRL SAYS 141 00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:08,395 THAT SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP? 142 00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:12,439 THAT... SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP? 143 00:06:12,443 --> 00:06:15,683 NO! GIRLS NEVER SAY WHAT THEY MEAN. 144 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,446 SO... 145 00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:19,709 ARE YOU SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN RIGHT NOW? 146 00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:21,410 GABE-- JUST-- 147 00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:22,882 LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? 148 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,463 MOST OF THE TIME WHEN A GIRL SAYS 149 00:06:26,457 --> 00:06:29,487 THAT SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP, 150 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,890 IT MEANS... 151 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,002 WELL, THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT IT TO CONTINUE. 152 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,765 YOU MEAN, SHE'S GOING TO DUMP ME? 153 00:06:37,768 --> 00:06:40,528 I KIND OF THINK SO. 154 00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:43,531 OH, MAN. 155 00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:45,544 I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. 156 00:06:45,536 --> 00:06:48,136 GUYS ALWAYS THINK THAT. 157 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,540 I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINALLY GET A GIRLFRIEND, 158 00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:52,582 AND NOW SHE'S GOING TO DUMP ME. 159 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,453 I MEAN, I COULD BE WRONG. 160 00:06:54,445 --> 00:06:55,945 NO, SOMEBODY WHO'S BEEN DUMPED 161 00:06:55,946 --> 00:06:58,416 AS MANY TIMES AS YOU KNOWS THE DRILL. 162 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,522 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 163 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,634 LOOK, I KNOW IT'S HARD. 164 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:05,995 BUT WHAT DOES HAVING A GIRLFRIEND 165 00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:07,526 EVEN MEAN AT YOUR AGE? 166 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,828 ALL YOU GUYS DO IS GO TO THE MOVIES 167 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,429 AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES. 168 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,860 GREAT, SO I'M DEVASTATED 169 00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:14,742 AND MY RELATIONSHIP WAS MEANINGLESS. 170 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,106 COME HERE. 171 00:07:20,971 --> 00:07:22,971 I KNOW IT HURTS. 172 00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:25,584 DO YOU WANT TO CRY? 173 00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:28,816 I DIDN'T UNTIL YOU STARTED HUGGING ME. 174 00:07:33,524 --> 00:07:36,564 WELCOME, EVERYBODY, TO THE FIRST-EVER MEETING 175 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,087 OF THE EDGEWOOD DRIVE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH. 176 00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:40,559 OBJECTION! 177 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,061 I THINK IT SHOULD BE CALLED 178 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:45,072 THE "EDGEWOOD DRIVE NEIGHBORHOOD PATROL." 179 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,665 SOUNDS MORE OFFICIAL. 180 00:07:48,238 --> 00:07:49,868 ARE WE GOING TO GET T-SHIRTS? 181 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,600 AND WE'RE OFF TO A GREAT START. 182 00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:54,613 CAR'S ALL CLEAN, MR. DOOGAN. 183 00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:55,975 AH, THANKS, TOMMY. 184 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,106 WE'VE GOT TO CATCH WHOEVER'S SOAPING OUR CARS. 185 00:07:58,108 --> 00:08:00,478 YEP, BUT FIRST, WE SHOULD GIVE 'EM A NICKNAME. 186 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,680 OH, I KNOW-- 187 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,982 HOW ABOUT "THE MAD SOAPER"? 188 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,724 WONDER WHERE SHE GOT THAT ONE. 189 00:08:07,718 --> 00:08:09,588 IS THAT ALL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT? 190 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,690 'CAUSE I PARK IN MY GARAGE. 191 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,262 OKAY, BUT YOU CARE ABOUT THE REST OF US, RIGHT? 192 00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:17,874 ( laughs ) YOU PEOPLE CRACK ME UP. 193 00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:19,268 I'M OUT OF HERE. 194 00:08:19,269 --> 00:08:20,899 OH-- UH... 195 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,171 BEFORE YOU GO, MRS. DABNEY, 196 00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,213 CRAB PUFF? 197 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:28,175 DON'T MIND IF I DO. 198 00:08:28,178 --> 00:08:30,138 OH! UH... 199 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,212 I'VE GOT CATS. 200 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,046 WELL, HOPE THOSE KITTY CATS 201 00:08:38,048 --> 00:08:40,788 ENJOY THE CRAB AT $14 A POUND. 202 00:08:42,152 --> 00:08:43,192 I HAVE AN IDEA. 203 00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:44,733 GO AHEAD, MRS. DOBBS. 204 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,295 I SAY WE BREAK INTO TEAMS OF TWO 205 00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:50,597 AND PATROL THE NEIGHBORHOOD AFTER DARK. 206 00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:52,131 WHAT DO YOU THINK, BERT? 207 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,642 WELL, I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 208 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,865 I'D LIKE SOMEONE YOUNG WHO CAN STAY UP LATE. 209 00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:58,207 I'LL TAKE HIM. 210 00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,768 I'M JUST HERE CATERING. 211 00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:03,270 YOU'RE EITHER WITH US OR YOU'RE AGAINST US. 212 00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,233 OH! HI, GABE. YOU WANT TO COME IN? 213 00:09:15,225 --> 00:09:17,625 UH, NO. I WANT TO DO THIS OUT HERE. 214 00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:20,228 DO WHAT? 215 00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:22,090 I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU. 216 00:09:22,092 --> 00:09:23,262 HOW DOES THAT FEEL? 217 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,343 BAD. 218 00:09:25,335 --> 00:09:28,335 GOOD, THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. 219 00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:31,598 BUT I THOUGHT THINGS WERE GOING SO WELL. 220 00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:33,872 REALLY? ALL WE DO IS PLAY VIDEO GAMES 221 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,284 AND GO TO MOVIES. 222 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,245 I THOUGHT YOU LIKED DOING THAT STUFF WITH ME. 223 00:09:38,248 --> 00:09:39,648 OH, PLEASE. 224 00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,810 "HEY, WAIT TILL YOU GET TO LEVEL TWO." 225 00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:43,752 I WAS FAKING IT. 226 00:09:45,616 --> 00:09:47,356 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. 227 00:09:47,357 --> 00:09:48,587 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 228 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,318 YOU WERE GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME. 229 00:09:49,319 --> 00:09:50,889 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA? 230 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,991 YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. 231 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,263 I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 232 00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:55,874 I WANTED TO UPDATE MY STATUS 233 00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,326 TO "IN A RELATIONSHIP." 234 00:09:57,327 --> 00:09:59,797 I WAS JUST GOING TO ASK IF YOU WERE OKAY WITH THAT. 235 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,830 BUT NOW I DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER. 236 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,376 TEDDY! 237 00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:12,611 YOU RUINED MY LIFE! 238 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,312 YEAH YEAH, WHAT'D I DO NOW? 239 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,654 NO, NOT YOU. 240 00:10:16,647 --> 00:10:17,787 I MEANT TEDDY. 241 00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:19,788 OH! PROCEED. 242 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,891 YOU DESTROYED MY RELATIONSHIP. 243 00:10:22,893 --> 00:10:24,623 I AM NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. 244 00:10:27,097 --> 00:10:29,327 GET INVOLVED IN A 14-YEAR-OLD'S ROMANCE? 245 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,299 YEP. 246 00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:33,701 WAS THAT A GOOD IDEA? 247 00:10:33,704 --> 00:10:35,714 NOPE. 248 00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:45,884 ( Teddy sighs ) 249 00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,146 Well, Charlie, I thought I'd given Gabe 250 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,377 some good advice. 251 00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:51,118 But boy, was I ever wrong. 252 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,922 Gabe was really mad. 253 00:10:53,924 --> 00:10:56,934 And he was serious about not talking to me. 254 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,759 HEY, GABE. 255 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,231 HE'S NOT TALKING TO YOU. 256 00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,704 GABE, I'VE APOLOGIZED LIKE FIVE TIMES. 257 00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:08,037 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. 258 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,800 ( stammers ) COME ON! 259 00:11:11,802 --> 00:11:14,672 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? CURL UP IN A HOLE AND DIE? 260 00:11:17,007 --> 00:11:19,177 HE SAYS, "THAT'S FINE." 261 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,180 MAN, JUST SAY SOMETHING. 262 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,793 AT LEAST MAKE FUN OF MY OUTFIT. COME ON. 263 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,116 I WORE THIS JUST TO GET A RISE OUT OF YOU. 264 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,233 I CAN'T SAY THAT. 265 00:11:38,268 --> 00:11:40,968 AH, THAT'S FUNNY. 266 00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:43,932 WHAT DID HE SAY? 267 00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:45,914 I FORGOT. 268 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,112 WELL, HERE I AM. 269 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,794 OH, HEY, MRS. DOBBS. 270 00:11:55,786 --> 00:11:57,786 WELCOME TO NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH 271 00:11:57,788 --> 00:12:00,118 COMMAND CENTRAL. 272 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,250 YOU MEAN YOUR PORCH? 273 00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,802 YEAH. 274 00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:06,125 OKAY. 275 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,796 LET'S GET SOME EYES ON THE STREET. 276 00:12:09,259 --> 00:12:10,799 WOW. 277 00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:12,401 SURE IS DARK TONIGHT. 278 00:12:12,402 --> 00:12:15,212 MIGHT HELP IF YOU TAKE THE LENS CAPS OFF. 279 00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:18,466 OH! HEY. ( laughs ) 280 00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:19,768 THANKS, PARTNER. 281 00:12:21,111 --> 00:12:22,871 OKAY. 282 00:12:22,873 --> 00:12:24,473 OKAY. 283 00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:28,146 YEAH, HE'S OUT THERE. 284 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:32,078 I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES. 285 00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:34,892 WATCH A LOT OF COP SHOWS, DO YOU? 286 00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:37,755 10-4. 287 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,790 HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING, MRS. DOBBS? 288 00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:46,865 YOU AND I HAVE NEVER REALLY HAD A CHANCE TO 289 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,137 SIT DOWN AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 290 00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:50,939 - ( chuckles ) - TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. 291 00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:53,471 WELL, I'M A WIDOW. 292 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,483 I DON'T LIKE TO STAY UP LATE. 293 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,475 AND THIS BENCH IS UNCOMFORTABLE. 294 00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:00,149 GOOD NIGHT. 295 00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:10,488 ( jazz music playing ) 296 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,160 IT'S A NICE CAR, BERT. 297 00:13:12,162 --> 00:13:14,162 I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE SEAT WARMERS. 298 00:13:14,164 --> 00:13:15,804 OH. 299 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,465 THOSE ARE ON? 300 00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:20,867 GOOD. I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HOT FLASH. 301 00:13:22,272 --> 00:13:24,472 NOPE. YOUR BUNS ARE JUST LIKE MINE. 302 00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,984 WARM AND TOASTY. 303 00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:30,478 AND NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. 304 00:13:34,144 --> 00:13:37,094 YOU KNOW, BEING OUT ON PATROL LIKE THIS 305 00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:39,347 REMINDS ME OF MY DAYS IN THE SERVICE. 306 00:13:39,349 --> 00:13:40,419 YOU WERE IN THE ARMY? 307 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,490 NO! THE POSTAL SERVICE. 308 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,834 You're listening to KDOZ. 309 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,825 KDOZ, mellow music for mellow people. 310 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,158 We put the Zs in easy listening. 311 00:13:52,502 --> 00:13:53,962 YOU MIND IF I CHANGE THE STATION? 312 00:13:53,964 --> 00:13:56,914 ONLY IF YOU CAN FIND A BETTER ONE. 313 00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:00,608 THERE IS NO BETTER ONE. 314 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,084 THINK WE SHOULD DRIVE AROUND A BIT? 315 00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:08,476 SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF TROUBLE. 316 00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,148 YOU'RE RIGHT. 317 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,920 LET'S LET THE CRIME COME TO US. 318 00:14:14,624 --> 00:14:16,164 MMM. 319 00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:25,503 SO, DEPUTY DOUG 320 00:14:25,495 --> 00:14:27,195 LETS YOU USE HIS PATROL CAR? 321 00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:30,637 DEPUTY DOUG DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. 322 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,640 HE'S AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND. 323 00:14:32,642 --> 00:14:34,372 WHAT IF HE FINDS OUT? 324 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,254 JUST MORE MONEY FOR THE SWEAR JAR. 325 00:14:37,247 --> 00:14:39,477 I GOTTA SAY, IT'S KIND OF EXCITING 326 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,049 RIDING AROUND IN A POLICE CAR. 327 00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:42,151 OHH. 328 00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:43,552 MUST BE FUN FOR YOU 329 00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:45,563 TO SIT UP FRONT FOR A CHANGE. 330 00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:50,258 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 331 00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:53,620 I'M JUST GUESSING YOU'VE BEEN ARRESTED BEFORE. 332 00:14:53,623 --> 00:14:56,403 BECAUSE OF YOUR ATTITUDE. 333 00:14:57,627 --> 00:14:59,027 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 334 00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:00,629 THAT IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE, DEBBIE. 335 00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:03,670 I HAVE NOT BEEN ARRESTED. 336 00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:07,513 I WAS SIMPLY ASKED IF I'D LIKE TO TAKE A RIDE DOWNTOWN. 337 00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:17,185 ( doorbell rings ) 338 00:15:18,648 --> 00:15:21,618 - HI. - HELLO, NEIGHBOR. 339 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,421 WELL, YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD. 340 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,623 OF COURSE I AM. 341 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,634 GABE AND LAUREN ARE BROKEN UP. 342 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,496 THE DEVIL CHILD IS GONE. 343 00:15:28,498 --> 00:15:30,158 THIS HOUSE IS CLEAN. 344 00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:34,162 UH, LOOK. THE THING IS, 345 00:15:34,164 --> 00:15:36,144 GABE AND LAUREN BROKE UP BECAUSE OF ME. 346 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,236 GIVE MAMA A HUG! 347 00:15:39,509 --> 00:15:41,169 CAN I TALK TO LAUREN? 348 00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:42,441 LAUREN? 349 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,642 MY FAVORITE NEIGHBOR WANTS TO SEE YOU. 350 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,324 ( squeals ) 351 00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,646 ♪ OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN ♪ 352 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,378 ♪ OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN. ♪ 353 00:15:51,381 --> 00:15:53,421 HEY, LAUREN. CAN WE TALK? 354 00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:54,423 SURE. 355 00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:56,655 UM... 356 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,186 LISTEN, 357 00:15:59,189 --> 00:16:00,429 GABE BREAKING UP WITH YOU 358 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,190 WAS ALL MY FAULT. 359 00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:04,632 I TOLD HIM THAT YOU WERE GONNA DUMP HIM, 360 00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,304 AND SO TO AVOID GETTING HURT, 361 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,196 HE DUMPED YOU FIRST. 362 00:16:08,198 --> 00:16:10,138 WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT? 363 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,470 I WAS HELPING. 364 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,641 WAS THAT A GOOD IDEA? 365 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,102 NO. 366 00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:18,706 AND SO EVER SINCE YOU BROKE UP, 367 00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,248 GABE'S BEEN DEVASTATED. 368 00:16:21,351 --> 00:16:23,751 DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE? 369 00:16:23,753 --> 00:16:25,223 WILL YOU STAY OUT OF IT? 370 00:16:25,215 --> 00:16:26,655 ABSOLUTELY. 371 00:16:26,656 --> 00:16:29,386 THEN... YES. 372 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,319 ♪ OH, WHEN THE SAINTS, OH, WHEN THE SAINTS ♪ 373 00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:33,061 ♪ GO MARCHING IN, GO MARCHING IN ♪ 374 00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:36,203 ♪ OH WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN ♪ 375 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,666 YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T TELL HER UNTIL TOMORROW. 376 00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:41,028 LET HER HAVE TONIGHT. 377 00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:43,171 ♪ WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN. ♪ 378 00:16:49,639 --> 00:16:51,639 MAN. SOMEBODY GOT SOAPED. 379 00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:53,511 WHOSE CAR IS THIS? 380 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,783 ( gasps ) 381 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,647 MOM? 382 00:16:58,648 --> 00:17:00,188 MRS. DOOLEY? 383 00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,020 YOU'RE THE ONES THAT HAVE BEEN SOAPING THE WINDOWS? 384 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,521 HEY, BERT, WAKE UP. WE CAUGHT THEM. 385 00:17:04,694 --> 00:17:06,804 YOU DIDN'T CATCH ANYTHING. 386 00:17:06,796 --> 00:17:08,326 YOU FELL ASLEEP IN YOUR CAR, 387 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,158 AND THAT HOOLIGAN STRUCK AGAIN. 388 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,730 IT'S MJ'S FAULT. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY UP. 389 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,812 IN THIS THING? MAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU STAY UP WHEN YOU DRIVE. 390 00:17:15,805 --> 00:17:16,665 WHO SAYS I DO? 391 00:17:18,668 --> 00:17:20,668 YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. 392 00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:23,310 COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE. 393 00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:25,623 HEY, CHECK IT OUT. A POLICE CAR ROLLING BACKWARD DOWN THE STREET. 394 00:17:25,615 --> 00:17:27,645 ( gasps ) SMOKING BISCUITS! 395 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,447 I FORGOT TO SET THE BRAKE! 396 00:17:37,187 --> 00:17:38,527 HEY. 397 00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:40,088 YOU GUYS ARE BACK TOGETHER. 398 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,390 OH, HAPPY ENDING. 399 00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,537 OH, COME ON. 400 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,370 YOU'RE STILL NOT TALKING TO ME? 401 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,753 GUYS, EVERYTHING IS FIXED. 402 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,750 ACTUALLY, WE DECIDED IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP 403 00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:03,782 TO NOT TALK TO YOU. 404 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,555 BESIDES, YOU'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS. 405 00:18:09,319 --> 00:18:10,659 YOU! 406 00:18:17,867 --> 00:18:20,197 OKAY. 407 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,700 SO, LAST NIGHT'S NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH DIDN'T GO SO WELL. 408 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,684 MY CAR GOT SOAPED. 409 00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:29,806 MY ROSE BUSHES GOT RUN OVER BY A POLICE CAR. 410 00:18:31,641 --> 00:18:36,521 WELL, THAT WILL FOREVER REMAIN A MYSTERY, I GUESS. 411 00:18:38,348 --> 00:18:39,688 HERE ARE YOUR KEYS, MR. DOOGAN. 412 00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,289 OH, THANKS, TOMMY. 413 00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,651 YOU'RE THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THIS WHOLE DISASTER. 414 00:18:44,894 --> 00:18:46,264 SEE YOU, EVERYBODY. 415 00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:48,256 NOT SO FAST, TOMMY. 416 00:18:48,258 --> 00:18:49,728 NEIGHBORS, I THINK I JUST CRACKED THIS CASE. 417 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,129 ( all gasp ) 418 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,660 IT'S SO SIMPLE A FOOL COULD SOLVE IT. 419 00:18:53,663 --> 00:18:55,213 AND I DID. 420 00:18:57,207 --> 00:18:58,667 WHO IS THE ONE PERSON 421 00:18:58,668 --> 00:19:00,238 WHO'S BENEFITED FROM ALL THIS? 422 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,540 THE ONE WHO GETS PAID 423 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,672 EVERY TIME THE CARS GET SOAPED. 424 00:19:04,674 --> 00:19:06,554 THAT'S RIGHT. 425 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,676 THE MAD SOAPER IS... 426 00:19:08,678 --> 00:19:10,548 LITTLE TOMMY DIXON! 427 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,920 ( all gasp ) 428 00:19:11,921 --> 00:19:14,581 ACTUALLY, IT WAS ME. 429 00:19:14,584 --> 00:19:16,234 THAT WAS MY NEXT GUESS. 430 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,227 MRS. DOBBS? 431 00:19:19,229 --> 00:19:22,829 MY STAKEOUT PARTNER? DID NOT SEE THIS COMING. 432 00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:25,702 I CAME UP WITH THE WHOLE SCHEME BECAUSE 433 00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,835 I WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH BERT DOOGAN. 434 00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:29,567 ( all gasp ) 435 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,699 I WAS HOPING I COULD GO ON PATROL WITH HIM. 436 00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:34,401 IT WOULD HAVE WORKED TOO IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR PJ. 437 00:19:34,404 --> 00:19:36,814 NO NO, IT'S DJ. 438 00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,708 IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME NAPPING IN THE CAR WITH BERT. 439 00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:43,682 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, BERT? 440 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,563 YOU AND MRS. DOBBS? 441 00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:49,758 CAN YOU COOK? 442 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:51,760 YES. 443 00:19:51,761 --> 00:19:53,221 OKAY. WE'RE TOGETHER. 444 00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,825 WELL. THAT'S IT THEN. 445 00:19:57,827 --> 00:19:59,427 CRIME'S BEEN SOLVED. 446 00:19:59,429 --> 00:20:03,569 I GUESS THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO SAY. 447 00:20:03,573 --> 00:20:05,583 NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH: ONE, 448 00:20:05,575 --> 00:20:08,235 CRIMINAL SCUM: ZERO. 449 00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:12,240 HOW LONG YOU BEEN SITTING ON THAT ONE? 450 00:20:12,242 --> 00:20:13,782 TWO DAYS. 451 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,463 Anyway, Charlie, 452 00:20:25,455 --> 00:20:28,225 I'm really glad that Gabe and Lauren are back together. 453 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:32,227 But he's still not talking to me. 454 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,831 Wait a minute. I just remembered, 455 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,374 there's one thing that always works on Gabe Duncan. 456 00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,707 Ever since he was a little kid. 457 00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,439 Tickling. 458 00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:44,572 TICKLING. 459 00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:46,254 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? 460 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,715 OH, TOBY? 461 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,533 So... 462 00:20:55,525 --> 00:20:56,855 I guess now that he's 14, 463 00:20:56,856 --> 00:21:00,326 tickling game is a bad idea. 464 00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:06,572 I REALLY HAVE TO WATCH THESE THINGS TO THE VERY END. 465 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:09,968 IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL SHE SAYS-- 466 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,499 Good luck, Charlie. 467 00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:22,450 - HI. - WHO ARE YOU? 468 00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:24,612 I'M YOU IN THE FUTURE. 469 00:21:24,614 --> 00:21:26,494 I'VE COME BACK IN A TIME MACHINE. 470 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,886 OKAY. 471 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:30,519 SO, 472 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,520 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 473 00:21:31,521 --> 00:21:32,791 YOU'RE PRETTY. 474 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,992 AREN'T WE? 475 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,303 ANYTHING YOU WANT TO ASK ME? 476 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,525 DID TOBY MOVE IN WITH GRANDMA? 477 00:21:38,528 --> 00:21:41,728 STILL WORKING ON IT. 478 00:21:41,731 --> 00:21:43,471 WHAT'S GABE DOING? 479 00:21:43,473 --> 00:21:45,683 EIGHT TO 10. 480 00:21:46,636 --> 00:21:48,006 WHAT ABOUT MOM? 481 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,337 WHAT ABOUT MOM? 482 00:21:49,339 --> 00:21:51,079 DOES IT GET ANY EASIER? 483 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,840 ( sighs ) 484 00:21:52,842 --> 00:21:54,682 I COULD LIE AND GIVE YOU HOPE. 485 00:21:54,684 --> 00:21:56,654 BUT NO. 486 00:21:56,646 --> 00:21:57,816 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? 487 00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,887 NOTHING. 488 00:21:58,888 --> 00:22:00,788 I JUST WANTED TO TRY OUT MY NEW TIME MACHINE. 489 00:22:00,790 --> 00:22:02,520 I'M OFF TO GO SEE SOME DINOSAURS. 490 00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,622 - WANT TO COME? - OKAY. 32788

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