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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,537 --> 00:00:08,307 Well, Charlie, 2 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:09,439 as you can see 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,040 we are all still living in this hotel room. 4 00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:14,523 And we are here because someone 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,045 let termites eat our house. 6 00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:17,387 ( sighs ) 7 00:00:17,388 --> 00:00:19,048 It was not my fault. 8 00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:20,520 Oh, of course not, Dad. 9 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,204 Totally his fault. 10 00:00:26,197 --> 00:00:28,157 Anyway, it's a little crowded 11 00:00:28,159 --> 00:00:30,359 with everyone here, but we're doing okay. 12 00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:31,701 Would you keep it down over there? 13 00:00:34,365 --> 00:00:35,505 Just okay. 14 00:00:35,506 --> 00:00:37,366 Just barely okay. 15 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:40,740 GABE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? 16 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,241 I AM ON THE PHONE. 17 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,273 WITH WHO? 18 00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:45,054 NO ONE. IT'S JUST A FRIEND. 19 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,045 I'LL HAVE THE RIB-EYE STEAK, 20 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,577 MEDIUM-RARE. 21 00:00:48,579 --> 00:00:50,379 GABE, I TOLD YOU. 22 00:00:50,381 --> 00:00:51,581 NO ROOM SERVICE. 23 00:00:51,582 --> 00:00:53,222 MOM, I'M HUNGRY. 24 00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:54,694 WELL, THEN HAVE A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH. 25 00:00:54,685 --> 00:00:56,155 I'M SICK OF THOSE. 26 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,157 ME TOO. 27 00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,489 LOOK. 28 00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:01,330 WE'RE MEETING WITH THE CONTRACTOR LATER ON TODAY, 29 00:01:01,332 --> 00:01:03,592 BUT UNTIL WE FIND OUT HOW MUCH WE NEED TO SPEND 30 00:01:03,594 --> 00:01:04,674 TO FIX THE HOUSE, 31 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,635 WE ARE IN MONEY-SAVING MODE. 32 00:01:06,637 --> 00:01:08,097 YEAH, THAT SOUNDS FAIR. 33 00:01:08,099 --> 00:01:11,439 YOU DESTROY THE HOUSE, AND WE DON'T GET TO EAT. 34 00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:13,643 IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! 35 00:01:13,644 --> 00:01:15,654 All: RIGHT. 36 00:01:15,646 --> 00:01:18,506 I CAN'T BELIEVE I WENT FROM HAVING MY OWN ROOM 37 00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:19,809 TO BEING STUCK HERE WITH YOU PEOPLE. 38 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:21,380 AWW. 39 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:25,262 POOR BABY DOESN'T HAVE HIS OWN ROOM ANYMORE. 40 00:01:25,256 --> 00:01:26,456 TOO BAD. 41 00:01:26,457 --> 00:01:27,717 AW. 42 00:01:27,718 --> 00:01:29,618 IT'S TOO BAD YOU DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND ANYMORE. 43 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,360 GABE. 44 00:01:31,362 --> 00:01:33,162 NO, MOM. IT'S OKAY. 45 00:01:33,164 --> 00:01:34,874 WE'RE ALL A LITTLE STRESSED OUT. 46 00:01:34,865 --> 00:01:36,525 GABE'S DEALING WITH IT HIS WAY. 47 00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:39,597 NOW I'M GONNA DEAL WITH IT MY WAY. 48 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,800 YOU'RE GOING DOWN, LITTLE MAN! 49 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,142 ( grunting ) 50 00:01:44,135 --> 00:01:46,875 ( rock music playing ) 51 00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:48,677 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 52 00:01:48,679 --> 00:01:50,409 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 53 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:53,281 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 54 00:01:53,284 --> 00:01:55,194 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 55 00:01:55,186 --> 00:01:56,586 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 56 00:01:56,587 --> 00:01:58,587 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 57 00:02:00,191 --> 00:02:03,291 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 58 00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:06,534 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 59 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,527 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 60 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,229 ♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 61 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,901 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 62 00:02:12,903 --> 00:02:14,743 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 63 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,535 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 64 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,467 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 65 00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:21,710 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 66 00:02:21,712 --> 00:02:25,552 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 67 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:29,476 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 68 00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:33,421 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 69 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,843 ( groans ) 70 00:02:44,835 --> 00:02:46,895 UH, HOW WE LOOKING, KEVIN? 71 00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:49,167 HEY, BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT THE HOUSE, 72 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,339 I WANT TO GIVE YOU THESE. 73 00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,302 ONE FREE PASS TO THE GIGGLE HUT. 74 00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,654 OH, YOU'RE A STAND-UP COMEDIAN TOO? 75 00:02:55,646 --> 00:02:58,346 YEAH, EVERYONE'S ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW FUNNY I AM. 76 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,481 MY NICHE IS CONSTRUCTION-RELATED HUMOR. 77 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,394 IS THAT A POPULAR NICHE? 78 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,387 YOU TELL ME. 79 00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:11,390 DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE SINGING PLUMBER? 80 00:03:12,423 --> 00:03:14,433 HE HAD GREAT PIPES. 81 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,727 BECAUSE SINGER'S SOMETIMES REFER TO THEIR VOICES AS-- 82 00:03:18,729 --> 00:03:21,329 - PIPES. - YEAH, NO. WE GOT THAT. 83 00:03:22,473 --> 00:03:24,283 SO, ABOUT THE HOUSE? 84 00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:25,835 OKAY. 85 00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:28,306 WELL, THE FIRST PROBLEM-- 86 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,379 THAT'S THE SKY UP THERE, 87 00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:32,841 AND YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT FROM HERE. 88 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,985 IS THAT A COMEDY OBSERVATION 89 00:03:36,987 --> 00:03:38,787 OR A CONSTRUCTION OBSERVATION? 90 00:03:38,789 --> 00:03:40,989 CONSTRUCTION. UNLESS IT WAS FUNNY. 91 00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:42,921 I MEAN, WAS IT? I CAN NEVER TELL. 92 00:03:45,996 --> 00:03:47,726 SO I GUESS YOU'RE LOOKING AT TWO OPTIONS. 93 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,328 REBUILD THE HOUSE THE WAY IT WAS, 94 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,860 OR GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF DAMAGE HERE, 95 00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:52,601 YOU COULD TEAR IT DOWN AND BUILD A BRAND NEW ONE. 96 00:03:52,603 --> 00:03:53,933 A DREAM HOUSE IF YOU WILL. 97 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,414 A DREAM HOUSE? ( gasps ) 98 00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:56,406 THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING. 99 00:03:56,407 --> 00:03:57,507 THAT SURE DOES. 100 00:03:57,508 --> 00:03:59,368 YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES. 101 00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:01,010 BOB, I CAN FINALLY GET THE DINING ROOM 102 00:04:01,011 --> 00:04:02,011 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 103 00:04:02,012 --> 00:04:04,382 I COULD GET MY OWN BATHROOM 104 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:05,715 WITH ONE OF THOSE JAPANESE TOILETS. 105 00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:07,716 YOU KNOW, THE ONES WITH THE SILENT FLUSHING SYSTEM 106 00:04:07,718 --> 00:04:09,448 AND THE TEMPERATURE- CONTROLLED HEATED SEAT. 107 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,451 WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT DREAMS. 108 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,427 ;EMMETT, GREAT NEWS. 109 00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:20,389 YOU KNOW HOW WE'VE BEEN TALKING 110 00:04:20,391 --> 00:04:21,391 ABOUT MOVING TO A BIGGER APARTMENT 111 00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:22,792 BEFORE THINGS GET REALLY BAD 112 00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:24,443 AND WE START HATING EACH OTHER FOREVER? 113 00:04:24,435 --> 00:04:26,035 WE'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THAT. 114 00:04:26,036 --> 00:04:27,996 OH, RIGHT. 115 00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:30,838 REMIND ME, THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU. 116 00:04:30,841 --> 00:04:32,671 ANYWAY, I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS APARTMENT. 117 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,683 CHECK THIS OUT. 118 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,645 - OH, THIS IS GREAT. - RIGHT? 119 00:04:36,647 --> 00:04:39,407 - IT HAS TWO BEDROOMS. - THAT'S TWO MORE THAN WE HAVE NOW. 120 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:40,910 WE'VE GOT TO GET THIS APARTMENT. 121 00:04:40,911 --> 00:04:42,751 OKAY. THERE'S ONE LITTLE PROBLEM. 122 00:04:42,753 --> 00:04:44,793 WE HAVE THIS THING CALLED A LEASE. 123 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,515 - ( sighs ) - THE THING BERNIE THE LANDLORD 124 00:04:46,517 --> 00:04:47,987 MADE US SIGN? IT SAYS WE HAVE TO LIVE HERE 125 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,288 FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. 126 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,859 IT ALSO SAYS THAT WE HAVE TO KEEP IT CLEAN 127 00:04:50,861 --> 00:04:52,761 AND PAY OUR RENT ON TIME. 128 00:04:52,763 --> 00:04:54,673 WELL, LET'S READ IT. 129 00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:55,995 MAYBE THERE'S SOME WAY WE CAN GET OUT OF IT. 130 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,526 OKAY. I KEEP IT OVER HERE 131 00:04:57,528 --> 00:04:59,468 WITH THE REST OF OUR IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS. 132 00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:01,330 OKAY, INDIAN. 133 00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:03,332 CHINESE. THAI. 134 00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:04,344 LEASE. HERE WE GO. 135 00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:09,008 OH, HERE IT IS. 136 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,609 "THIS LEASE MAY NOT BE BROKEN 137 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,011 UNDER PENALTY OF LAW." 138 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,742 NEVER SHOULD HAVE SIGNED THIS THING. 139 00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:15,354 YEAH, BUT YOU DID. 140 00:05:15,346 --> 00:05:17,346 WITH A SMILEY FACE. 141 00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:20,388 WELL, I THINK THE SIGNATURE SHOULD EXPRESS AN EMOTION. 142 00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:21,651 MMM. 143 00:05:21,652 --> 00:05:24,322 OH OH OH OH. HANG ON. 144 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,464 WE CAN'T LEAVE, 145 00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:27,026 BUT WE CAN GET KICKED OUT. 146 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,357 WELL, HOW DO WE DO THAT? 147 00:05:28,359 --> 00:05:29,859 "LANDLORD MAY EVICT TENANT FROM PREMISES 148 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:32,030 IF 'A' THE TENANT BRINGS A PET ON THE PREMISES, 149 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,662 - OR 'B'"-- - WHO CARES ABOUT "B"? 150 00:05:33,664 --> 00:05:35,014 "A" IS PERFECT. 151 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:36,365 YOUR FAMILY HAVE ANY PETS WE CAN BORROW? 152 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,867 NO. WE JUST HAVE BABIES. 153 00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,940 WE CAN DRESS ONE OF THEM UP LIKE A PET. 154 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,652 I PROMISED I WOULDN'T DO THAT ANYMORE. 155 00:05:48,719 --> 00:05:52,379 OKAY. HERE IS A ROUGH SKETCH I MADE OF THE NEW HOUSE. 156 00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:55,033 I THINK EVERYBODY IS GOING TO BE VERY HAPPY. 157 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:57,485 NOW GABE, YOU GET YOUR BEDROOM ABOVE THE GARAGE. 158 00:05:57,488 --> 00:05:59,028 - OH, YES. - AND TEDDY 159 00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:00,689 - GETS A MOUNTAIN VIEW. - ( gasps ) 160 00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:01,991 YES! 161 00:06:01,992 --> 00:06:04,132 OH, I'M FINALLY OUT OF THE BASEMENT. 162 00:06:04,134 --> 00:06:06,544 HEY WAIT, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY OLD ROOM? 163 00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:07,737 OH! 164 00:06:07,738 --> 00:06:10,498 THAT BECOMES DADDY'S MAN CAVE. 165 00:06:10,501 --> 00:06:12,871 OR MOMMY'S YOGA ROOM. 166 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,146 YOU KNOW WHAT? WELL CALL IT A-- 167 00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:18,477 A MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM. 168 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,549 IT CAN HAVE A LOT OF USES. 169 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:21,450 OKAY. WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER. 170 00:06:21,452 --> 00:06:23,112 HONEY, WHEN YOU SAY, 171 00:06:23,113 --> 00:06:24,993 "WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER," I NEVER WIN. 172 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,885 WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW? 173 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,017 ( whispers ) HEY, NOW IS NOT USUALLY GOOD FOR YOU. 174 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,022 BOB, HONEY, I AM NOT UNREASONABLE, OKAY? 175 00:06:34,024 --> 00:06:36,704 YOU WANT A MAN CAVE, I WANT A YOGA ROOM. 176 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:37,967 WE'LL JUST COMPROMISE, 177 00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:40,168 CALL IT A... YOGA ROOM. 178 00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:43,702 TOLD YA. 179 00:06:45,876 --> 00:06:48,106 CHARLIE, YOU EXCITED ABOUT YOUR NEW HOUSE? 180 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,880 WHAT DO YOU THINK, CIRCLE? 181 00:06:53,183 --> 00:06:54,953 WE DON'T WANT A NEW HOUSE. 182 00:06:54,945 --> 00:06:56,145 ( scoffs ) 183 00:06:56,146 --> 00:06:57,186 OF COURSE YOU DO. 184 00:06:57,187 --> 00:06:59,717 CIRCLE SAID, "NO." 185 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,152 CHARLIE, DOLLS CAN'T TALK. 186 00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:04,563 HEY. 187 00:07:04,555 --> 00:07:05,995 GABE, DON'T SAY THAT. 188 00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:07,556 WHEN I WAS CHARLIE'S AGE, 189 00:07:07,558 --> 00:07:09,498 I USED TO TALK TO MY DOLLS TOO. 190 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,060 I THINK IT'S ADORABLE. 191 00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:13,201 YEAH WELL, I THINK IT'S DISTURBING. 192 00:07:13,203 --> 00:07:15,773 CIRCLE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. 193 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:19,038 YEAH WELL, LISTEN UP, BLUE BOY, 194 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,439 I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER. 195 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,210 WHO'S TALKING TO DOLLS NOW? 196 00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:45,043 HI. DEREK NEWLY. 197 00:07:45,035 --> 00:07:46,595 ED JOHNSON. 198 00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:48,167 WHY DOES IT SAY "TED JOHNSON"? 199 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,170 OH, BECAUSE... 200 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,172 THE "T" IS SILENT. 201 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,684 THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN ALLAHASSEE. 202 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:01,249 YOU LOOK AWFULLY YOUNG TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT. 203 00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,051 I GET THAT A LOT. 204 00:08:03,053 --> 00:08:05,093 IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 205 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,685 I'M 14. 206 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,017 YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG, 207 00:08:09,019 --> 00:08:10,689 BUT I'M KIND OF A GENIUS. 208 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,691 GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AT NINE, 209 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,033 COLLEGE AT 11, AND WENT STRAIGHT INTO ACCOUNTING. 210 00:08:15,025 --> 00:08:17,165 OH, THAT'S ODD. 211 00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:19,497 IT'S JUST THAT MOST PEOPLE WHO ARE GENIUSES 212 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,529 DON'T GO INTO ACCOUNTING. 213 00:08:20,531 --> 00:08:22,601 I WAS 11. WHAT DID I KNOW? 214 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:31,280 WHAT IS THAT? 215 00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:33,181 I WENT OUT AND GOT US A PET. 216 00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:34,893 THINK HE'S A MYNA BIRD. 217 00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:36,845 WELL, I DON'T MYNA WHAT HE IS 218 00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:38,187 AS LONG AS HE GETS US THROWN OUT OF HERE. 219 00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:39,848 ( chuckles ) 220 00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:41,250 YEAH, LET THE BIRD DO THE TALKING. 221 00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:43,551 IT TALKS? 222 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:46,004 I TAUGHT IT A FEW THINGS BEFORE YOU GOT HOME. 223 00:08:45,996 --> 00:08:49,026 WAIT TILL BERNIE THE LANDLORD HERE'S THIS. 224 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,199 OKAY, BIRD. GO AHEAD. SAY IT. 225 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,300 BERNIE'S A DOPE. BERNIE'S A DOPE. 226 00:08:53,303 --> 00:08:54,673 ( chuckles ) 227 00:08:54,665 --> 00:08:56,205 I LOVE IT. 228 00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,206 - ( banging on door ) - LANDLORD. 229 00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,109 NO NO NO NO. NO NO. 230 00:09:01,111 --> 00:09:02,711 - ( groans ) - NO. 231 00:09:02,713 --> 00:09:04,113 ( groans ) 232 00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:06,084 YOU TAUGHT IT TO FLY? 233 00:09:06,076 --> 00:09:08,176 IT CAME WITH THAT SKILL. 234 00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:10,048 WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE CLOSED THE WINDOW. 235 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,150 I HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING? 236 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,182 - ( groans ) - ( banging on door ) 237 00:09:13,183 --> 00:09:14,733 - LANDLORD. - ANSWER THE DOOR. 238 00:09:19,189 --> 00:09:20,189 YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? 239 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,930 HEY, BERNIE. 240 00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:24,062 JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, 241 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,244 WE GOT A PET BIRD. 242 00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:26,735 I DON'T SEE A BIRD. 243 00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:29,037 I SEE A PERCH. 244 00:09:29,039 --> 00:09:31,039 THAT'S WHERE THE BIRD WAS. 245 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:32,241 HE'S NOT THERE NOW. 246 00:09:33,704 --> 00:09:36,184 HE STEPPED OUT FOR A BIT. 247 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,706 HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 248 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,050 WELL. 249 00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:42,711 WHEN HE GETS HERE, 250 00:09:42,713 --> 00:09:43,853 GIVE ME A HOLLER. 251 00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:54,934 HEY, CHARLIE. 252 00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:56,695 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE NEW HOUSE. 253 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,997 NO. 254 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,198 CHARLIE. 255 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,730 HEY. 256 00:10:01,732 --> 00:10:04,272 IT'S GONNA BE RIGHT HERE WHERE OUR OLD HOUSE IS. 257 00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:06,214 JUST NEW AND BETTER. 258 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,207 OKAY, I'M GONNA GET SOME MORE BOXES. 259 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,079 I WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 260 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,343 CHARLIE. 261 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,645 WE NEED TO TALK. 262 00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:18,748 OKAY. 263 00:10:21,351 --> 00:10:23,191 BUT GABE SAID YOU CAN'T TALK. 264 00:10:23,193 --> 00:10:25,233 THEN WHAT AM I DOING RIGHT NOW? 265 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,825 GOOD POINT. 266 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,727 OF COURSE GABE THINKS I CAN'T TALK. 267 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,930 WISH HE COULDN'T TALK. 268 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:36,812 - WHAT DO YOU WANT? - CHARLIE, YOU GOTTA SAVE THIS HOUSE. 269 00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,137 WHAT CAN I DO? 270 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,208 DO WHAT LITTLE KIDS DO. 271 00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:42,370 MAKE A MESS. 272 00:10:42,372 --> 00:10:43,772 OKAY. 273 00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:50,178 THERE YOU GO. GOOD JOB. 274 00:10:55,826 --> 00:10:57,326 CHARLIE. 275 00:10:57,327 --> 00:10:59,057 HEY. 276 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,189 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 277 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:01,990 WE DON'T WANT TO GO. 278 00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:03,132 WE? 279 00:11:03,133 --> 00:11:05,803 ME AND CIRCLE LIKE THIS HOUSE. 280 00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:08,066 OH, CHARLIE. 281 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:11,198 HEY. WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE? 282 00:11:11,201 --> 00:11:13,771 CHARLIE DOESN'T WANT A NEW HOUSE. 283 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,084 OH GREAT. 284 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,745 THAT'S THE LAST THING WE NEED. 285 00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:20,348 YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 286 00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:22,250 I THINK I KNOW HOW I CAN HANDLE THIS. 287 00:11:22,252 --> 00:11:23,312 GOOD. 288 00:11:23,313 --> 00:11:25,723 BECAUSE THIS NEW HOUSE IS HAPPENING. 289 00:11:25,716 --> 00:11:28,056 I ALREADY ORDERED THE GONG FOR MY YOGA ROOM. 290 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,291 CHARLIE. 291 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,392 I THINK THE OTHER GURGLES MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. 292 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,374 WE SHOULD ASK THEM. 293 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:39,198 ( peppy voice ) HEY, CHARLIE. 294 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,729 THE REST OF US GURGLES 295 00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:43,071 THINK A NEW HOUSE WOULD BE FUN. 296 00:11:43,073 --> 00:11:44,743 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, STAR? 297 00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:46,335 ( deep voice ) THAT'S RIGHT, SQUARE. 298 00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:49,376 CIRCLE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 299 00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:51,079 THIS IS INSULTING. 300 00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:52,481 WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE. 301 00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:56,886 CHARLIE. 302 00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:58,287 I SAID "WE." 303 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,930 ( chatter on TV ) 304 00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:14,002 HEY, CHARLIE. 305 00:12:14,004 --> 00:12:16,144 SO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW HOUSE. 306 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,106 SHH. 307 00:12:18,108 --> 00:12:20,108 Hello there, Miss Piggy. You're looking very beautiful today. 308 00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,110 Aw, that's so sweet... 309 00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:24,112 - Aw. - ...even if it is obvious. 310 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,976 ( phone ringing ) 311 00:12:28,979 --> 00:12:30,949 - Kermit: Okay, I can't wait-- - CAN YOU TURN THAT DOWN PLEASE? 312 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,451 ( phone ringing ) 313 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,852 HELLO? 314 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,794 NO, THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW, 315 00:12:35,786 --> 00:12:38,286 BUT THERE'S NO ED JOHNSON HERE. 316 00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:40,528 OKAY. 317 00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:41,990 ( chuckles ) 318 00:12:41,992 --> 00:12:44,192 STUPID WRONG NUMBERS. 319 00:12:44,194 --> 00:12:46,004 HEY, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, 320 00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:47,766 WHAT DID THEY WANT? 321 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,097 I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING ABOUT A BANQUET STARTING. 322 00:12:51,141 --> 00:12:52,841 WEIRD. 323 00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:55,154 YOU KNOW... 324 00:12:55,145 --> 00:12:57,045 IT'S A NICE NIGHT. 325 00:12:57,047 --> 00:13:00,007 I THINK I'M GONNA GO TAKE A WALK. 326 00:13:02,112 --> 00:13:04,482 GABE, WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BLAZER? 327 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,194 OH, I'M JUST TAKING 328 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:10,117 A LITTLE MORE INTEREST IN MY APPEARANCE. 329 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,460 HEY, IT HAD TO HAPPEN SOMETIME, HUH? 330 00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:14,463 OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. 331 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,467 ( door closes ) 332 00:13:18,468 --> 00:13:19,868 HE'S UP TO SOMETHING, ISN'T HE? 333 00:13:19,870 --> 00:13:21,130 YEP. 334 00:13:21,131 --> 00:13:24,471 BUT HE'S HOTEL SECURITY'S PROBLEM NOW. 335 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,480 TEDDY. 336 00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:33,241 - OH. - TRY THIS. 337 00:13:34,584 --> 00:13:36,024 MM. 338 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,346 MOM, THAT'S DELICIOUS. 339 00:13:37,347 --> 00:13:39,587 IT'S WHAT I DO. 340 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,128 ( sighs ) 341 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,160 HI-HO, TEDDY. 342 00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:54,833 - KERMIT? - MM-HMM. 343 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,944 IS IT REALLY YOU? 344 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,406 UH, YES. IT'S REALLY ME. 345 00:13:58,408 --> 00:13:59,608 ( clears throat ) 346 00:13:59,609 --> 00:14:01,139 WOW. 347 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:04,111 YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOU DO ON TV. 348 00:14:04,114 --> 00:14:06,184 ONLY, UM... 349 00:14:06,176 --> 00:14:08,246 BETTER? 350 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,278 WELL, THANK YOU. 351 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:11,419 I WAS HOPING FOR GREENER, BUT THAT'LL DO. 352 00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:14,021 UM... KERMIT, 353 00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:15,494 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 354 00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:17,025 AH, WELL ACTUALLY, 355 00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:19,157 I HEARD THAT YOU WERE TEARING YOUR WHOLE HOUSE DOWN 356 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,129 AND GONNA MAKE IT ALL NEW. 357 00:14:21,131 --> 00:14:22,861 HOW'D YOU HEAR THAT? 358 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,862 OH, FOZZIE BEAR RAN INTO YOUR CONTRACTOR 359 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,144 AT A COMEDY CLUB. 360 00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:28,566 NOT FUNNY, BY THE WAY. 361 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,468 FOZZIE BEAR OR THE CONTRACTOR? 362 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,000 UH-HUH. 363 00:14:32,002 --> 00:14:33,202 YEAH. 364 00:14:33,203 --> 00:14:34,473 WELL LISTEN, TEDDY, 365 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,154 I'M HERE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. 366 00:14:36,146 --> 00:14:38,476 OR BETTER YET, SING YOU ONE. 367 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,908 - QUE. - ( music playing ) 368 00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:42,480 ♪ IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR DREAM HOUSE ♪ 369 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,492 ♪ WHAT KIND OF HOUSE WOULD IT BE? ♪ 370 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,155 ♪ WOULD HAVE HAVE 13 MASTER BEDROOMS ♪ 371 00:14:48,158 --> 00:14:50,418 ♪ AND A PINE-PANELED LIBRARY? ♪ 372 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,620 ♪ WOULD IF HAVE A HOME THEATER ♪ 373 00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:54,262 ♪ AND AN INDOOR POOL? ♪ 374 00:14:54,264 --> 00:14:56,034 UM, YEAH. 375 00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:57,526 THAT SOUNDS PRETTY COOL. 376 00:14:57,527 --> 00:15:00,527 ♪ BUT WOULD IT BRING BACK CHILDHOOD MEMORIES? ♪ 377 00:15:01,932 --> 00:15:03,202 ♪ WOULD IT FEEL LIKE HOME ♪ 378 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,943 ♪ TO THE DUNCAN FAMILY? ♪ 379 00:15:06,937 --> 00:15:10,277 ♪ SEEMS TO ME THE ANSWER IS QUITE CLEAR ♪ 380 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:14,140 ♪ THIS IS YOUR DREAM HOUSE RIGHT HERE ♪ 381 00:15:16,286 --> 00:15:17,686 ♪ JUST LOOK AT THIS PLACE ♪ 382 00:15:17,687 --> 00:15:19,147 ♪ WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? ♪ 383 00:15:19,149 --> 00:15:20,149 ♪ YOU'VE GOT A FLOOR AT YOUR FEET ♪ 384 00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:22,020 ♪ AND THE STARS UP ABOVE ♪ 385 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,492 ♪ OH TEDDY, THIS IS ♪ 386 00:15:23,493 --> 00:15:25,163 ♪ YOUR DREAM HOUSE ♪ 387 00:15:25,155 --> 00:15:28,155 ♪ THIS IS YOUR DREAM HOUSE ♪ 388 00:15:28,158 --> 00:15:29,498 ♪ IT'S WHERE YOU GREW UP ♪ 389 00:15:29,499 --> 00:15:31,359 ♪ IT'S WHERE YOU'D LIVE NOW ♪ 390 00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:34,361 ♪ IF ONLY IT HADN'T BECOME TERMITE CHOW ♪ 391 00:15:34,364 --> 00:15:37,174 ♪ THIS IS YOUR DREAM HOUSE ♪ 392 00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:40,007 ♪ THIS IS MY DREAM HOUSE? ♪ 393 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:41,510 ♪ IT'S WHAT THEY CALL ♪ 394 00:15:41,511 --> 00:15:43,171 ♪ A FIXER-UPPER ♪ 395 00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:46,083 ♪ BUT SOON IT WILL BE GOOD AS NEW ♪ 396 00:15:46,076 --> 00:15:47,476 ♪ THANKS TO OUR ♪ 397 00:15:47,477 --> 00:15:50,017 ♪ TOP-NOTCH CONSTRUCTION CREW... ♪ 398 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,481 ( Animal yelling ) 399 00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:55,164 ♪ I GOT TO ADMIT ♪ 400 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,025 ♪ THAT IT WOULD BE WEIRD ♪ 401 00:15:57,027 --> 00:15:58,157 ♪ TO BUILD A NEW HOUSE ♪ 402 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,458 ♪ AND HAVE THIS ONE JUST DISAPPEAR ♪ 403 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,290 ♪ MAYBE THIS IS ♪ 404 00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:05,172 ♪ MY DREAM HOUSE ♪ 405 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,535 ♪ RIGHT HERE ♪ 406 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,168 Both: ♪ RIGHT HERE ♪ 407 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,500 MISS PIGGY? MOM! 408 00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:14,041 WHAT ARE YOU DOING... ♪ HERE? ♪ 409 00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:16,714 ♪ WE COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR... ♪ 410 00:16:16,706 --> 00:16:19,176 AND YOU CAN'T DO A MUSICAL NUMBER WITHOUT MOI. 411 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,179 OR MOI. 412 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,064 ♪ SHE'D REALLY PREFER ♪ 413 00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:27,156 ♪ A HOUSE TWICE AS BIG ♪ 414 00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:29,557 ♪ I HAVE TO SAY I AGREE WITH THE PIG ♪ 415 00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:33,189 - ♪ OH, TEDDY ♪ - Both: ♪ I WANT MY DREAM HOUSE ♪ 416 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,493 ♪ THAT FROG AND THAT BEAR ♪ 417 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,174 ♪ THEY DO HAVE A POINT ♪ 418 00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:37,296 ♪ THIS OLD HOUSE OF OURS ♪ 419 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,027 ♪ IS A PRETTY SWEET JOINT ♪ 420 00:16:39,029 --> 00:16:42,369 ♪ I THINK THAT THIS IS OUR DREAM HOUSE ♪ 421 00:16:42,372 --> 00:16:44,702 ♪ WHO NEEDS A SPA OR A SUPER-SIZED CLOSET ♪ 422 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,284 ♪ OR NEW COUNTERS MADE ♪ 423 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:47,506 ♪ OUT OF MARBLE COMPOSITE ♪ 424 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,037 ♪ A FOUR-CAR GARAGE, A JACUZZI, A DECK ♪ 425 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,180 ♪ PROGRAMMABLE LIGHTING THAT'S SUPER HIGH TECH ♪ 426 00:16:52,182 --> 00:16:53,642 ♪ A GREEN HOUSE, A GAME ROOM ♪ 427 00:16:53,643 --> 00:16:55,193 ♪ A GUEST SUITE OR TWO ♪ 428 00:16:55,185 --> 00:16:56,715 ♪ THAT'S NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT ♪ 429 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,516 ♪ TO ME AND TO YOU... ♪ 430 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,320 SPEAK FOR YOURSELF! 431 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,452 YOU KNOW, MISS PIGGY, I GOT TO ADMIT, 432 00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:06,264 I REALLY WOULD MISS THIS PLACE. 433 00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:07,496 ( sighs ) 434 00:17:07,497 --> 00:17:08,627 WHATEVER. 435 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,698 LET'S WRAP THIS UP. 436 00:17:11,301 --> 00:17:12,701 ♪ THIS PLACE MAY BE ♪ 437 00:17:12,702 --> 00:17:17,042 ♪ FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS ♪ 438 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,506 ♪ BUT THIS OUR HOME ♪ 439 00:17:19,509 --> 00:17:21,509 ♪ AND THIS IS ♪ 440 00:17:21,511 --> 00:17:24,771 ♪ THE HOUSE OF OUR DREAMS... ♪ 441 00:17:24,774 --> 00:17:26,224 ♪ DREAM HOUSE ♪ 442 00:17:27,717 --> 00:17:29,177 ♪ DREAM HOUSE ♪ 443 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:34,180 ♪ THE HOUSE OF OUR DREAMS. ♪ 444 00:17:35,185 --> 00:17:36,525 Teddy: DREAMS. 445 00:17:41,531 --> 00:17:43,061 OH MY GOSH. 446 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,462 CHARLIE, YOU WERE RIGHT. 447 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,404 WE HAVE TO SAVE OUR HOUSE. 448 00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:47,696 YAY! 449 00:17:48,838 --> 00:17:50,498 LET'S GO FIND MOM AND DAD. 450 00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,171 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS A DREAM. 451 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,854 IT ALL STARTED WITH MOM 452 00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:57,505 COOKING SOMETHING DELICIOUS. 453 00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:06,264 ( people chattering ) 454 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,527 ( sighs ) 455 00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,869 YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON... 456 00:18:21,871 --> 00:18:23,531 TED? 457 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:24,873 IT'S ED. 458 00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:26,214 THE "T" IS SILENT. 459 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,337 ALL RIGHT. 460 00:18:28,338 --> 00:18:29,538 WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS, 461 00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:30,709 START TALKING. 462 00:18:32,182 --> 00:18:34,312 DAD, I JUST COULDN'T EAT ANYMORE 463 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:35,854 PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES. 464 00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:37,185 THEN I FOUND THIS ROOM, 465 00:18:37,187 --> 00:18:38,317 AND THEY WERE GIVING OUT FREE FOOD, 466 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,318 SO I JUST PRETENDED TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT. 467 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,690 HEY, ED. WHO'S THIS? 468 00:18:41,691 --> 00:18:42,691 ( stammers ) 469 00:18:45,195 --> 00:18:46,855 FRANK JOHNSON. 470 00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:48,196 ED'S DAD. 471 00:18:48,198 --> 00:18:49,798 OH, SO YOU MUST BE AN ACCOUNTANT TOO. 472 00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:50,799 YEAH. TAUGHT HIM EVERYTHING HE KNOWS. 473 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,830 COULD YOU PASS ME THE SALT? 474 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,208 ( sniffs, coughs ) 475 00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,370 ( groans ) 476 00:19:02,372 --> 00:19:04,872 LINE DANCING AND CABBAGE EATING. 477 00:19:04,874 --> 00:19:06,554 MAN, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BRING THOSE TWO 478 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:07,716 TOGETHER FOR YEARS. 479 00:19:07,717 --> 00:19:09,417 WE ARE SO GETTING KICKED OUT OF HERE. 480 00:19:09,419 --> 00:19:10,419 ( grunts ) 481 00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:11,650 OKAY, EVERYBODY. 482 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,381 MAKE SURE YOU DANCE REALLY HARD. 483 00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:15,693 EXTRA CABBAGE FOR THE LOUDEST STOMPER. 484 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,526 ( country music playing ) 485 00:19:18,528 --> 00:19:19,858 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 486 00:19:27,537 --> 00:19:29,367 - ( pounding on door ) - COME IN. 487 00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:32,401 WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE? 488 00:19:32,402 --> 00:19:33,742 LINE DANCING. 489 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,705 AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL? 490 00:19:36,706 --> 00:19:37,776 CABBAGE. 491 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,579 LINE DANCING AND CABBAGE EATING? 492 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,651 Both: MM-HMM. 493 00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:43,812 I'VE BEEN WANTING TO 494 00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:45,823 BRING THOSE TWO TOGETHER FOR YEARS. 495 00:19:45,815 --> 00:19:46,955 WHAT? 496 00:19:46,956 --> 00:19:48,416 PUMP UP THE VOLUME, 497 00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,218 AND SOMEBODY CABBAGE ME! 498 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:51,920 YEE-HAW! 499 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,926 WE'RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF THIS PLACE, ARE WE? 500 00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:00,528 NOPE. 501 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,870 GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO. 502 00:20:02,872 --> 00:20:04,372 WE DANCE! 503 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,549 YOU GONNA GET SECONDS? 504 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:23,551 WELL, I GOTTA GET SOMETHING BEFORE THIRDS. 505 00:20:23,553 --> 00:20:24,953 ( both laugh ) 506 00:20:24,954 --> 00:20:26,704 AND NOW, LET'S WELCOME 507 00:20:26,696 --> 00:20:28,226 THIS YEAR'S KEYNOTE SPEAKER, 508 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,557 ED JOHNSON. 509 00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,299 ( applause ) 510 00:20:32,902 --> 00:20:34,532 - WHAT? - ( chuckles ) 511 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,544 SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE GIVING A SPEECH. 512 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,306 GOOD THING YOU WORE THE BLAZER. 513 00:20:39,409 --> 00:20:40,439 GO GET 'EM, ED! 514 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,240 WHOO! 515 00:20:44,013 --> 00:20:46,023 THANK YOU... 516 00:20:46,015 --> 00:20:48,445 NUMBER LOVERS. 517 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,550 I THINK YOU SHOULD HEAR 518 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,022 FROM THE MAN WHO TAUGHT ME 519 00:20:54,023 --> 00:20:57,893 EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT OUR BELOVED PROFESSION. 520 00:20:57,887 --> 00:20:59,887 MY DAD, 521 00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:00,989 FRANK JOHNSON. 522 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:03,590 ( applause ) 523 00:21:06,896 --> 00:21:08,036 ( sighs ) 524 00:21:08,037 --> 00:21:09,567 FRANK'S NOT VERY HAPPY. 525 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,599 YEAH. WHAT ACCOUNTANT IS? 526 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,784 ( clears throat ) 527 00:21:18,548 --> 00:21:20,008 CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTING. 528 00:21:22,011 --> 00:21:24,551 PLUSES AND MINUSES. 529 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,785 ADDITION AND SUBTRACTION. 530 00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,020 WHAT ELSE CAN YOU SAY ABOUT ACCOUNTING? 531 00:21:36,025 --> 00:21:38,325 I'VE GOT SOMEONE I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET. 532 00:21:38,328 --> 00:21:39,898 OH YEAH? WHO? 533 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,869 TED JOHNSON. 534 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,532 HI. VERY NICE TO-- 535 00:21:44,534 --> 00:21:46,084 DAD, THE JIG'S UP! 536 00:21:46,075 --> 00:21:47,035 GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY! 537 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,016 SO I GOT THE FINAL COST ON YOUR DREAM HOUSE. 538 00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:00,418 SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, 539 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,390 I WAS HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH MY CALCULATOR. 540 00:22:02,392 --> 00:22:03,822 OH, THAT'S OKAY. 541 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,903 TURNS OUT IT NEEDED A NEW BATTERY. 542 00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:08,356 THE GOOD NEWS IS, 543 00:22:08,358 --> 00:22:09,558 I HAVE A TERRIFIC NEW JOKE 544 00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:12,899 ABOUT BATTERY REPLACEMENT. WANT TO HEAR IT? 545 00:22:12,902 --> 00:22:14,902 Both: NO. 546 00:22:14,904 --> 00:22:16,744 IT'S NO CHARGE. 547 00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,067 IS THAT IT? 548 00:22:23,913 --> 00:22:25,043 YEAH. 549 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,416 OH, THERE YOU GUYS ARE. 550 00:22:29,419 --> 00:22:30,779 UM, MOM, DAD... 551 00:22:31,921 --> 00:22:34,051 SO CHARLIE WAS RIGHT. 552 00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,463 WE CAN'T BUILD A NEW HOUSE. 553 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:39,456 LET ME GUESS, DID THE GURGLES TALK TO YOU TOO? 554 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,089 NO. 555 00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:42,890 THE MUPPETS DID. 556 00:22:42,892 --> 00:22:45,032 KERMIT AND MISS PIGGY APPEARED IN MY DREAM. 557 00:22:45,034 --> 00:22:46,444 THEY WERE VERY PERSUASIVE 558 00:22:46,436 --> 00:22:48,566 AND MADE SOME EXCELLENT POINTS... 559 00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,098 MUSICALLY. 560 00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:53,641 GUYS, COME ON. 561 00:22:53,643 --> 00:22:55,583 WE ARE NOT CHANGING OUR PLANS 562 00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:57,575 BASED ON A TALKING DOLL 563 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,077 AND A DREAM. 564 00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,048 SO WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID YOU WANTED, 565 00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:03,050 THIS IS HOW MUCH YOUR NEW HOUSE IS GONNA COST. 566 00:23:04,053 --> 00:23:06,093 - WHOA. - ( gasps ) 567 00:23:10,059 --> 00:23:11,589 UM... 568 00:23:12,922 --> 00:23:14,062 SO WHAT DID KERMIT SAY? 569 00:23:20,069 --> 00:23:22,029 - ( hammering ) - Well-- ah. 570 00:23:22,031 --> 00:23:23,501 Great news, Charlie, 571 00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,583 we're rebuilding our old house. 572 00:23:25,575 --> 00:23:28,035 And we couldn't have done it without you 573 00:23:28,037 --> 00:23:29,907 and your imaginary friend, 574 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,909 and me, and the Muppets, 575 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:32,911 and... 576 00:23:36,586 --> 00:23:37,916 Can I help you? 577 00:23:39,048 --> 00:23:40,588 I saw the camera. 578 00:23:40,590 --> 00:23:42,790 I thought maybe it's my chance to get discovered. 579 00:23:42,792 --> 00:23:44,922 Oh, um... 580 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,604 I'm just making a video for my little sister. 581 00:23:47,597 --> 00:23:48,927 Does she like jokes? 582 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,060 I guess. 583 00:23:53,062 --> 00:23:54,602 Knock knock. 584 00:23:54,604 --> 00:23:55,944 Who's there? 585 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,065 Doorbell delivery. 586 00:23:57,066 --> 00:23:59,066 Doorbell delivery who? 587 00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:00,468 No, that's the whole joke. 588 00:24:01,611 --> 00:24:03,441 I'm-- I'm not sure you understand 589 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,912 how knock knock jokes work. 590 00:24:04,914 --> 00:24:06,054 Well, who's the comedian here? 591 00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:09,917 I'm not sure there is one. 592 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,921 The thing is is I'm knocking 593 00:24:13,923 --> 00:24:15,533 because there is no doorbell. 594 00:24:15,525 --> 00:24:16,785 You see... 595 00:24:16,786 --> 00:24:18,586 - I'm delivering it. - Good luck, Charlie. 596 00:24:23,733 --> 00:24:25,603 Miss Piggy: OH, CHARLIE. 597 00:24:25,595 --> 00:24:27,635 CAN WE ASK YOU A QUESTION? 598 00:24:27,637 --> 00:24:28,897 OKAY. 599 00:24:28,898 --> 00:24:30,068 WHICH DO YOU LIKE BETTER? 600 00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:32,469 A FROG OR A PIG? 601 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:33,471 OH. 602 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:34,542 UH... 603 00:24:34,544 --> 00:24:35,754 CHARLIE, I'D BE VERY CAREFUL 604 00:24:35,745 --> 00:24:37,075 ABOUT HOW I ANSWERED THAT. 605 00:24:38,207 --> 00:24:40,207 I LIKE THEM BOTH. 606 00:24:40,209 --> 00:24:43,079 BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE JUST ONE, 607 00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:44,712 AND YOU HAVE TO. 608 00:24:44,714 --> 00:24:45,894 ( murmurs ) 609 00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,655 I LIKE BEARS. 610 00:24:49,719 --> 00:24:50,859 AAH! 611 00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:52,860 THAT'S A BEARY GOOD ANSWER. 612 00:24:52,862 --> 00:24:54,762 ( chuckles ) 613 00:24:54,764 --> 00:24:56,074 BEARS OVER PIGS?! 614 00:24:56,065 --> 00:24:57,195 WHAT?! 615 00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:59,896 OH, I'D GET MOVING IF I WERE YOU. 616 00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:02,899 COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE BEAR LOVER, YOU! 617 00:25:02,902 --> 00:25:03,902 COME BACK! 618 00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:05,273 ( chuckles ) 619 00:25:05,274 --> 00:25:06,914 HEY, GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE. 40707

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