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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,637 --> 00:00:08,307 GREAT NEWS, EVERYBODY! 2 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,179 THIS YEAR FOR ONCE, I DON'T HAVE TO WORK ON THANKSGIVING. 3 00:00:11,182 --> 00:00:12,682 ( family cheers ) 4 00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:15,353 - SO WE CAN ALL BE TOGETHER! - ( cheering ) 5 00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:17,186 AND I CAN COOK THANKSGIVING DINNER. 6 00:00:17,188 --> 00:00:19,188 - Teddy: ALL RIGHT. - Bob: ( weakly ) YAY. 7 00:00:22,593 --> 00:00:24,763 OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED THERE? 8 00:00:24,755 --> 00:00:26,595 HONEY, COME ON, IT'S JUST THAT COOKING 9 00:00:26,597 --> 00:00:28,157 THANKSGIVING DINNER IS A LOT OF WORK. 10 00:00:28,159 --> 00:00:30,529 YEAH, ARE YOU SURE WE SHOULDN'T JUST EAT OUT? 11 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,461 I MEAN, FOR YOUR SAKE. 12 00:00:32,463 --> 00:00:34,213 NO WAY. 13 00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:36,435 EVERY THANKSGIVING I HAVE TO EAT TURKEY SANDWICHES 14 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,237 OUT OF THE HOSPITAL VENDING MACHINE 15 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,339 AND YOU GUYS HAVE TO GO TO THE OLD TIME BUFFET. 16 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,641 THIS YEAR WE'RE GONNA BE TOGETHER, 17 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,653 AND I AM GONNA COOK. 18 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,675 OLD TIME BUFFET OFFERS QUALITY AND VALUE. 19 00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:53,180 YEAH, AND THEIR CHICKEN FINGERS, MWAH! 20 00:00:53,184 --> 00:00:54,834 RIGHT? 21 00:00:54,825 --> 00:00:58,155 WE ARE HAVING DINNER HERE AND THAT IS FINAL. 22 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:01,559 ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 23 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,172 ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, I HAVE A THANKSGIVING ANNOUNCEMENT. 24 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,535 THIS YEAR WE ARE GOING TO BE JOINED BY GRANDPA. 25 00:01:06,537 --> 00:01:08,367 ( cheering ) 26 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,139 GRANDPA DUNCAN. 27 00:01:10,141 --> 00:01:11,601 YEAH. 28 00:01:13,704 --> 00:01:15,614 HURTS, DOESN'T IT? 29 00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:18,606 ( sighs ) OH, COME ON, YOU GUYS. 30 00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:21,649 - MY DAD HAS SOME GOOD QUALITIES. - SUCH AS? 31 00:01:21,652 --> 00:01:25,462 YOU KNOW WHAT? HE EXHALES CARBON DIOXIDE, WHICH IS NEEDED BY PLANTS. 32 00:01:26,657 --> 00:01:28,857 ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE'VE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS. 33 00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:30,859 MOM'S COOKING THANKSGIVING DINNER. 34 00:01:30,861 --> 00:01:34,471 OH, NO NO NO NO NO. 35 00:01:34,465 --> 00:01:36,725 THE BEST CHEF IN THE HOUSE-- 36 00:01:36,727 --> 00:01:39,597 P.J. IS COOKING THANKSGIVING DINNER. 37 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,300 I AM? SHE'S NEVER GONNA LET ME. 38 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,172 THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO TRICK HER. 39 00:01:43,174 --> 00:01:45,814 GIVE HER THE ILLUSION THAT SHE'S COOKING, WHEN IN REALITY, 40 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,806 YOU'RE THE ONE DOING ALL THE WORK. 41 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,808 GOT IT, GOT IT. JUST ONE QUESTION. 42 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,741 WHAT DOES ILLUSION MEAN? 43 00:01:53,744 --> 00:01:55,724 THREE WORDS-- 44 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,246 COOK THANKSGIVING DINNER. 45 00:01:58,249 --> 00:02:00,319 RIGHT NOW? 46 00:02:02,253 --> 00:02:05,233 RELAX, DAD. JUST MESSING WITH YOU. 47 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,526 OH, BY THE WAY, THANKSGIVING-- TWO WORDS. 48 00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:13,331 ( rock music playing ) 49 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,814 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 50 00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:16,605 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 51 00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:19,567 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 52 00:02:19,570 --> 00:02:21,440 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 53 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:22,772 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 54 00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:24,783 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 55 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,547 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 56 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,750 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 57 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:36,233 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY, THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 58 00:02:36,227 --> 00:02:39,227 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 59 00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:40,790 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 60 00:02:40,791 --> 00:02:42,591 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 61 00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:45,573 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 62 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,796 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 63 00:02:47,798 --> 00:02:51,668 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 64 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,612 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 65 00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:59,547 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 66 00:03:10,321 --> 00:03:11,821 WHAT YOU DRAWING THERE, CHARLIE? 67 00:03:11,822 --> 00:03:13,692 A TURKEY. 68 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,704 - ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH. 69 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,926 IT LOOKS A BIT MORE LIKE MASHED POTATOES. 70 00:03:18,929 --> 00:03:22,499 LOOK, BIG THANKSGIVING SALE AT THE GIZMO HUT. 71 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,713 THEY'RE SELLING MYTABS FOR $49? THAT'S AWESOME! 72 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,206 I KNOW! BUT WE HAVE TO GET IN LINE EARLY 73 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,478 BECAUSE THEY'LL ONLY HAVE 10 OF THESE AT THAT PRICE. 74 00:03:30,481 --> 00:03:33,311 SO WE HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE ON THANKSGIVING DAY? 75 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,724 YES, THE SALE STARTS AT MIDNIGHT. 76 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,716 WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT SO HARD? 77 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,218 ALL WE WANNA DO IS CELEBRATE 78 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,519 THE TRUE MEANING OF THANKSGIVING-- 79 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,852 BUYING ELECTRONICS AT TERRIFIC PRICES. 80 00:03:43,854 --> 00:03:46,264 I'M SAYING. 81 00:03:46,257 --> 00:03:48,397 TURKEY. 82 00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,936 ( doorbell rings ) 83 00:04:01,011 --> 00:04:03,011 ( both sigh ) 84 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:08,015 WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ANSWER THE DOOR WHEN I COME OVER? 85 00:04:08,018 --> 00:04:11,248 HOW ABOUT YOU STOP COMING OVER AND I'LL STOP ANSWERING THE DOOR? 86 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,494 HI, MRS. DABNEY. 87 00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:17,556 AMY, I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. 88 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:20,488 DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET A SMALL TURKEY FOR ONE? 89 00:04:20,491 --> 00:04:22,491 IT'S JUST ME THIS YEAR. 90 00:04:22,493 --> 00:04:23,933 OH, WELL, WHERE'S MR. DABNEY? 91 00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:27,344 DIDN'T YOU HEAR? I DIVORCED HIS SORRY BUTT. 92 00:04:27,338 --> 00:04:30,368 ( gasps ) OH, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 93 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,601 I'M NOT. WE WERE JUST MAKING EACH OTHER MISERABLE. 94 00:04:33,604 --> 00:04:37,454 NOW I CAN BE THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY PERSON I ALWAYS WAS. 95 00:04:37,448 --> 00:04:39,408 YOU ARE? 96 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,950 I MEAN-- I MEAN, YOU CAN. 97 00:04:41,952 --> 00:04:43,612 YOU ARE? 98 00:04:45,055 --> 00:04:48,485 SO ANYWAY, I'LL BE EATING 99 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:52,059 THAT TINY TURKEY IN THAT BIG EMPTY HOUSE, 100 00:04:52,062 --> 00:04:55,372 ALL ALONE, BY MYSELF, 101 00:04:55,366 --> 00:04:58,396 JUST ME. 102 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,529 WELL, IT'LL BE GOOD PRACTICE FOR CHRISTMAS. 103 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,002 AFTER YOU. 104 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:08,084 MRS. DABNEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO-- 105 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,781 MRS. DABNEY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US 106 00:05:13,784 --> 00:05:15,394 FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER? 107 00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:18,886 WELL, THIS IS COMING OUT OF NOWHERE. 108 00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:22,090 I'LL HAVE TO CHECK MY SCHEDULE. 109 00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:24,832 BYE NOW. 110 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,000 WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 111 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:33,601 I WAS BEING GRACIOUS 112 00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:35,374 AND I WAS BEING NEIGHBORLY. 113 00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:38,436 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT BETTER END BY CHRISTMAS. 114 00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:47,746 HEY, MOM, WHAT YOU GOT THERE? 115 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,078 IT'S THE MENU FOR THANKSGIVING. 116 00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:50,779 TALK ABOUT GREAT TIMING 117 00:05:50,781 --> 00:05:52,781 BECAUSE I WAS GONNA VOLUNTEER TO HELP YOU COOK. 118 00:05:52,783 --> 00:05:55,133 P.J., THAT IS SO SWEET, BUT ACTUALLY I WAS GONNA ASK TEDDY. 119 00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:57,555 MOM, TEDDY DOES NOT HAVE TIME. 120 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,688 SHE IS OFF IN HER OWN LITTLE WORLD 121 00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:02,030 WITH THE DOLLS AND THE HORSES 122 00:06:02,032 --> 00:06:03,962 AND THE DRESS-UP. 123 00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:07,995 YOU DO KNOW SHE'S NOT SEVEN, RIGHT? 124 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,370 WHATEVER. LET ME SEE THE LIST. 125 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,141 OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA PUT A LITTLE CHECK 126 00:06:14,144 --> 00:06:15,954 NEXT TO THE THINGS I LIKE TO COOK. 127 00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:19,406 YEAH, YES. OOH, DEFINITELY. 128 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:22,110 OH OH OH OH, YEAH. 129 00:06:22,112 --> 00:06:24,562 HONEY, YOU CHECKED EVERYTHING BUT THE ROLLS. 130 00:06:24,555 --> 00:06:28,015 OH, RIGHT, SORRY. "ROLLS." 131 00:06:28,018 --> 00:06:30,088 OKAY, FINE, YOU CAN COOK ALL THAT OTHER STUFF, 132 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,060 BUT I AM DEFINITELY COOKING THE TURKEY. 133 00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:34,062 WAIT, THAT WASN'T ON THE LIST. 134 00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:35,904 WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS. 135 00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:41,428 I GOT BOGGED DOWN ON THE SIDE DISHES, LOST MY FOCUS. 136 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,984 SO HOW DID IT GO? 137 00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:50,739 I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS. 138 00:06:50,741 --> 00:06:52,411 WHAT? 139 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,452 SHE'S MAKING ONE DISH. 140 00:06:54,445 --> 00:06:57,585 PLEASE SAY BROCCOLI. PLEASE SAY BROCCOLI. 141 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,419 IT RHYMES WITH SCHMURKEY. 142 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,952 IT'S TURKEY. 143 00:07:08,699 --> 00:07:12,159 - HEY, EVERYBODY, GRANDPA'S HERE. - Kids: HEY! 144 00:07:12,162 --> 00:07:15,872 YEAH YEAH, MY, HOW YOU'VE GROWN. BLAH BLAH BLAH. 145 00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:21,438 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'VE MET CHARLIE. 146 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,681 NOW WHY IS HE DRESSED LIKE A GIRL? 147 00:07:24,675 --> 00:07:27,015 WELL, BECAUSE SHE IS A GIRL. 148 00:07:27,017 --> 00:07:28,847 YES, CHARLIE IS SHORT FOR CHARLOTTE. 149 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,149 THEN WHY ISN'T SHE CALLEDSHARLIE? 150 00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:36,485 SERIOUSLY, I DON'T GET IT. 151 00:07:36,487 --> 00:07:39,187 YOU GIVE THE GIRLS BOYS' NAMES. HE SHOULD BE TEDDY, 152 00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:41,859 HE SHOULD BE CHARLIE, AND SHE SHOULD BE P.J. 153 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,932 WE'RE NOT RENAMING THE KIDS, DAD. 154 00:07:45,536 --> 00:07:48,536 GOOD NEWS. I CHECKED MY SCHEDULE, 155 00:07:48,539 --> 00:07:51,099 AND IT TURNS OUT I AM AVAILABLE ON THANKSGIVING. 156 00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:54,001 ALL RIGHT, REALLY? WHO LEFT THE DOOR OPEN? 157 00:07:54,004 --> 00:07:56,654 MRS. DABNEY, THIS IS MY FATHER-IN-LAW FRANK DUNCAN. 158 00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:58,147 FRANK, ESTELLE DABNEY. 159 00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:01,908 BOB, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD COME OVER 160 00:08:01,912 --> 00:08:03,482 AND LOOK AT MY GARBAGE DISPOSAL. 161 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,663 - IT'S NOT WORKING RIGHT. - OH, I'LL DO IT. 162 00:08:05,656 --> 00:08:08,486 HAD MY OWN PLUMBING BUSINESS FOR 30 YEARS. 163 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,018 PLUMBING, NOW THAT'S A MAN'S JOB. 164 00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:13,491 YOU WANT SOMEONE TO CATCH A BUTTERFLY, 165 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,603 CALL MY SON. 166 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,596 LET'S GO. 167 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,184 YES, WE'RE NUMBERS NINE AND 10! 168 00:08:26,176 --> 00:08:28,076 HA! 169 00:08:28,078 --> 00:08:30,108 - YOU'RE NINE AND I'M 10? - YEAH. 170 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,680 WHY DON'T I GET TO BE NINE? 171 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:34,512 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? WE'RE BOTH GETTING MYTABS. 172 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,254 THEN I'M NINE. 173 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:40,918 OH, GREAT, I GOTTA SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY IN LINE 174 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,991 BEHIND YOU TWO LOSERS. 175 00:08:42,993 --> 00:08:44,703 WELL WELL WELL, 176 00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:47,525 IF IT ISN'T KARL, THE NEIGHBORHOOD JERK. 177 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,659 IF YOU WERE PLANNING ON GETTING A MYTAB, 178 00:08:50,661 --> 00:08:53,061 YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK. YOU'RE NUMBER 11. 179 00:08:53,063 --> 00:08:54,943 NOT IF I OUTRUN YOU. 180 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:58,305 AND WHEN I GET MY MYTAB, I'M GONNA GO ONLINE TO THE LOSERS SITE 181 00:08:58,308 --> 00:09:00,568 AND POST SOMETHING ON YOUR LOSER PAGE 182 00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,641 THAT SAYS, "HEY, LOSER!" 183 00:09:04,214 --> 00:09:06,654 THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG DAY. 184 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,747 EXCUSE ME, KARL. I'M GONNA ZIP UP THE INVISIBLE WALL NOW 185 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,280 SO WE DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU. 186 00:09:11,281 --> 00:09:13,551 ( imitates zipper ) 187 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,633 YOU CAN STILL HEAR ME. 188 00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:19,587 I KNOW YOU CAN. 189 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:21,930 HEY, INVISIBLE WALLS-- STUPID. 190 00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:24,742 ( imitates zipper ) I'M SORRY, WHAT? 191 00:09:26,897 --> 00:09:29,567 T, YOU SHOULD GET GOING SO YOU CAN MAKE IT HOME FOR YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER. 192 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,199 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. WELL, I'LL BE BACK AT 4:00 SO YOU CAN GO TO YOUR DINNER. 193 00:09:32,202 --> 00:09:35,612 - SEE YA. - SEE YA. 194 00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:37,246 HEY, IVY, 195 00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:39,277 NOW THAT TEDDY'S GONE, 196 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,649 I CAN FINALLY ADMIT THAT I'M NOT REALLY A JERK. 197 00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:46,223 I'M JUST A VULNERABLE KID WHO'S TOO SCARED TO ADMIT 198 00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:49,156 THAT HE NEEDS A FRIEND. 199 00:09:49,159 --> 00:09:50,619 OH, REALLY? 200 00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:54,121 NO, I'M A JERK. LOSER! 201 00:09:54,124 --> 00:09:57,104 ( laughs ) 202 00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,327 YEP, A REAL LONG DAY. 203 00:10:08,378 --> 00:10:10,308 OH, MAN, THIS IS JUST WEIRD. 204 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,340 ( Charlie giggles ) 205 00:10:12,342 --> 00:10:14,342 - WHAT IS? - GRANDPA. 206 00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:15,894 HE SEEMS HAPPY. 207 00:10:15,886 --> 00:10:18,386 IT'S VERY UNSETTLING. 208 00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:20,688 PEEK-A-BOO, I SEE YOU. 209 00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:22,891 PEEK-A-BOO. 210 00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:27,655 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'D BETTER GO MAKE SURE HE'S OKAY. 211 00:10:27,658 --> 00:10:31,128 HERE WE GO. I'M GONNA GET YA! 212 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,661 HERE WE GO. I'M GONNA GET YA! 213 00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:35,373 - HERE HE COMES. WHOOO! - ( giggling ) 214 00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:37,935 OH, SHE'S A CUTIE PIE! 215 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:41,068 AND YOU WERE CUTE, TOO, WHEN YOU WERE AT THAT AGE, GABE. BOOP. 216 00:10:41,071 --> 00:10:42,741 ( laughs ) 217 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,343 ( knocks on door ) 218 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,124 HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! 219 00:10:47,117 --> 00:10:50,847 HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 220 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,322 SHE'S ACTING WEIRD, TOO? 221 00:10:54,324 --> 00:10:56,264 OKAY, SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT. 222 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,356 THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL DAY. 223 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,188 I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR. 224 00:11:01,191 --> 00:11:02,391 PFFT. LIKE WHAT? 225 00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:04,392 WELL, I AM THANKFUL 226 00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:06,844 THAT I HAVE A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE. 227 00:11:06,837 --> 00:11:09,837 AND I AM THANKFUL TO BE THAT MAN. 228 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,278 ( laughing ) 229 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,280 UM... SO YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER NOW? 230 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,994 THAT'S RIGHT. 231 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,286 AFTER FRANK UNCLOGGED MY DISPOSAL... 232 00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:34,421 HE UNCLOGGED MY HEART. 233 00:11:34,424 --> 00:11:37,134 SO IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE STICKING AROUND 234 00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:39,127 FOR A WHILE. 235 00:11:40,971 --> 00:11:43,801 AND WHO KNOWS, GABE? SOMEDAY SOON, 236 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,714 YOU MIGHT BE CALLING ME GRANDMA. 237 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,208 GABE, LET'S GO FOR A CATCH. 238 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,341 - A WHAT? - JUST GO OUTSIDE. 239 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,091 ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 240 00:12:04,094 --> 00:12:06,504 THERE'S ONLY ONE THING WE CAN DO. WE GOTTA SPLIT 'EM UP. 241 00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:10,026 OH, THAT SOUNDS EVIL. 242 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,060 I LIKE IT. 243 00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:15,142 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 244 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,935 ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS JUST HELP THEM TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 245 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,238 I MEAN, ONCE WE DO THAT... 246 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,909 THEN THEY'LL HATE EACH OTHER. 247 00:12:20,911 --> 00:12:23,011 - EXACTLY. - YEAH! 248 00:12:23,013 --> 00:12:26,053 WAIT WAIT WAIT. SHOULD WE DO THIS? 249 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:29,416 THEY ARE OLDER PEOPLE. THIS MAY BE THEIR LAST CHANCE AT HAPPINESS. 250 00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:33,049 YOU MEAN YOUR NEW MOM'S LAST CHANCE AT HAPPINESS? 251 00:12:34,124 --> 00:12:36,134 YEAH, THEY'RE GOING DOWN. 252 00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:38,086 ( gasps ) 253 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:44,089 - WHAT HAPPENED? - HONEY, I SHRUNK THE TURKEY. 254 00:13:44,094 --> 00:13:47,404 OH NO, YOU MUST HAVE FLASH ROASTED IT. 255 00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:50,127 FLASH ROASTED? WHAT'S THAT? 256 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,130 WELL, IT'S COMPLICATED. 257 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,102 IT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY 258 00:13:54,104 --> 00:13:56,144 OVER-BROAST AND UNDER-ROAST. 259 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,106 PUT SIMPLY, IT SHRINKS EVERYTHING. 260 00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:01,238 - EVEN THE BONES? - ESPECIALLY THE BONES. 261 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,571 P.J., WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 262 00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:05,853 WELL, I'M JUST THINKING ON MY FEET HERE, 263 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,145 - BUT WE DO HAVE A DEEP FRYER. - YEAH, SO? 264 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,348 SO IF WE DEEP FRY A TURKEY, DINNER COULD BE READY IN 90 MINUTES. 265 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,981 WHERE ARE WE GONNA GET ANOTHER BIRD ON THANKSGIVING? 266 00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:15,894 I HAVE A SPARE TURKEY IN THE GARAGE. 267 00:14:15,886 --> 00:14:18,056 WHY DO YOU HAVE A SPARE TURKEY IN THE GARAGE? 268 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:22,058 WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SPARE TURKEY IN THE GARAGE? 269 00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:26,303 - GO GET IT. - OKAY. 270 00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:28,336 HEY, MOM, ARE WE GONNA EAT SOON? 271 00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:30,068 'CAUSE EVERYONE'S REALLY HUNGRY 272 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,340 AND WOULD LOVE TO BE DONE BY 4:00. 273 00:14:32,342 --> 00:14:35,112 ACTUALLY, DINNER HAS BEEN DELAYED. 274 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,246 P.J. FLASH ROASTED THE TURKEY 275 00:14:38,248 --> 00:14:40,278 AND NOW WE HAVE TO START ALL OVER. 276 00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:46,955 IVY, HI, IT'S ME. 277 00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:48,287 LISTEN, MY MOM RUINED THE TURKEY 278 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,988 AND BLAMED IT ON MY BROTHER, 279 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,360 SO I'M GONNA BE LATE. 280 00:14:52,362 --> 00:14:54,192 YEAH, NO, OKAY. DON'T WORRY, THOUGH. 281 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,904 I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. JUST-- YOU STAY IN LINE. 282 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,526 I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. OKAY. 283 00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:02,199 MOM, OH-- MOM, 284 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,932 I HAVE A HEADACHE. 285 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:08,014 WOW. SO MAYBE I SHOULD REST IN MY ROOM FOR A BIT. 286 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,978 SO IF YOU DON'T SEE ME FOR, LIKE, TWO HOURS OR SO JUST REMEMBER, 287 00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:12,511 I'M IN MY ROOM. 288 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,252 WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE PROBABLY HUNGRY. 289 00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:18,945 HERE, NIBBLE ON THE FLASH TURKEY. 290 00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:21,349 YEAH, I'LL BE IN MY ROOM. 291 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,304 IF I BOIL YOU, WILL YOU PLUMP BACK UP? 292 00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:29,197 WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? 293 00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:31,199 THE MINI TURKEY. 294 00:15:38,308 --> 00:15:41,238 ( laughing ) 295 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,271 ESTELLE, YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN. 296 00:15:44,274 --> 00:15:47,254 - WOOF! - MEOW. 297 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,677 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT A REALLY FUN GAME 298 00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:52,549 CALLED LET'S NOT MAKE ANIMAL SOUNDS. 299 00:15:54,324 --> 00:15:56,464 SO, MRS. DABNEY... 300 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,286 OH, GABE, BABY, WHY SO FORMAL? 301 00:15:59,289 --> 00:16:03,189 CALL ME NANA. OR BETTER YET GAM-GAM. 302 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:08,074 SO, HA HA HA, GAM-GAM... 303 00:16:09,339 --> 00:16:11,139 IT'S INTERESTING THAT YOU MEOWED, 304 00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:14,101 BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR CAT CABOODLE. 305 00:16:14,104 --> 00:16:17,184 AND DAD DOESN'T LIKE CATS AT ALL. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DAD? 306 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:20,977 - HATE 'EM. - THEN CABOODLE'S GONE. 307 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:25,292 BUT YOU LOVE THAT CAT MORE THAN ANYTHING. 308 00:16:26,356 --> 00:16:29,116 - I THOUGHT I DID. - OH. 309 00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:34,490 HEY, DID YOU KNOW MY DAD SNORES SO LOUD, 310 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,004 HE RATTLES THE WHOLE HOUSE? 311 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,466 GOOD, MR. DABNEY WAS ONE OF THOSE SILENT SLEEPERS. 312 00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:42,300 AT LEAST WITH A SNORER, 313 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:46,012 YOU KNOW THERE'S A MAN IN THE HOUSE. 314 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,035 AND I HOPE HE'S THERE FOR A LONG TIME. 315 00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:50,739 ME TOO. 316 00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:53,580 - WOOF. - MEOW. 317 00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,390 ( sizzling ) 318 00:17:02,392 --> 00:17:06,402 HEY, HOW WE DOING OUT HERE? EVERYONE'S REALLY HUNGRY. 319 00:17:06,396 --> 00:17:09,126 DINNER SHOULD BE READY IN 90 MINUTES. 320 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,059 YOU THINK YOU COULD SPEED IT UP? 321 00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:14,261 GRANDPA FRANK KEEPS TRACING FINGER HEARTS ON MRS. DABNEY'S BACK. 322 00:17:14,264 --> 00:17:16,544 I GUESS I COULD WHIP UP SOME LITTLE SANDWICHES. 323 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,606 - WATCH THE BIRD, OKAY? - YEAH, SURE. 324 00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:24,240 I'M GONNA WATCH IT COOK TWICE AS FAST. 325 00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:28,216 ( boiling ) 326 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:38,394 CHARLIE, ARE YOU GONNA EAT YOUR SANDWICH? 327 00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:42,288 - YES. - WELL, CAN I HAVE JUST A BITE? 328 00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:44,062 NO, DADDY. 329 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,243 I'LL BUY YOU A DOLL. 330 00:17:46,236 --> 00:17:48,166 OKAY, EVERYONE, 331 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,268 DINNER WILL BE READY IN 10 MINUTES. 332 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,470 NO, IT WON'T. THE TURKEY'S GOTTA COOK FOR ANOTHER HOUR. 333 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,772 THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG. I TURNED UP THE HEAT. 334 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,714 - YOU DID WHAT? - TURNED UP THE HEAT, CUT THE COOKING TIME IN HALF. 335 00:17:57,707 --> 00:18:00,307 YOU CAN'T DO THAT. IF THE OIL GETS TOO HOT, THEN THE TURKEY MIGHT-- 336 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,150 ( explosion ) 337 00:18:02,152 --> 00:18:04,612 EXPLODE. 338 00:18:06,716 --> 00:18:09,586 - ( gasping ) - OH, LOOK AT THAT TURKEY GO! 339 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,359 OH NO, IT'S COMING BACK DOWN. 340 00:18:11,361 --> 00:18:13,721 - WHOA WHOA WHOA! - NO NO NO! 341 00:18:13,723 --> 00:18:16,303 OKAY, IVY, I'M ON MY WAY. 342 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,566 - YEAH, SEE YA. -( object whistling ) 343 00:18:19,569 --> 00:18:21,399 ( screams ) 344 00:18:28,338 --> 00:18:30,378 HOW YOU FEELING, SWEETIE? 345 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,840 WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AGAIN? 346 00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:35,552 TURKEY FELL OUT OF THE SKY ON YOU. 347 00:18:37,287 --> 00:18:40,347 BUT TURKEYS CAN'T FLY. CAN THEY? 348 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:45,231 NO, I GUESS IN CARTOONS THEY CAN. 349 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,425 ( laughing ) OH, I LIKE CARTOONS. 350 00:18:51,461 --> 00:18:53,461 OKAY, EVERYBODY. 351 00:18:54,504 --> 00:18:57,414 FRESH FROM THE VENDING MACHINE. 352 00:18:57,407 --> 00:19:00,337 - HAPPY THANKSGIVING. - WELL, AT LEAST THEY'RE TURKEY. 353 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,210 OR "MAY CONTAIN TURKEY." 354 00:19:04,574 --> 00:19:06,524 HEY, HONEY, I'M SORRY 355 00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:09,346 YOU GOTTA EAT TURKEY SANDWICHES IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN. 356 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,479 I KNOW THIS ISN'T THE THANKSGIVING YOU WANTED. 357 00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,781 WELL, IT'S NOT. 358 00:19:13,783 --> 00:19:16,333 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE ALL TOGETHER. 359 00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:17,756 TEDDY'S OKAY. 360 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:20,387 AND THAT IS WHAT I'M THANKFUL FOR. 361 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,290 YEAH. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 362 00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:25,502 I AM THANKFUL FOR EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM. 363 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:29,195 - ME TOO. - ME TOO. 364 00:19:29,199 --> 00:19:32,739 I'M THANKFUL THAT THE PATIENT IN ROOM 212 ORDERED ICE CREAM. 365 00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:42,380 I WONDER HOW THE LOVEBIRDS ARE DOING. 366 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,382 Frank: YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY. 367 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,564 Estelle: I CAN TALK TO YOU ANY WAY I WANT, DIMWIT. 368 00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:48,886 THAT SOUNDS PROMISING. 369 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,460 HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 370 00:19:52,462 --> 00:19:54,562 HE'S AN IDIOT. 371 00:19:54,564 --> 00:19:57,634 SHE'S A BATTLEAXE. 372 00:19:58,768 --> 00:20:01,428 YEAH, WE KNEW THAT, BUT WHAT HAPPENED? 373 00:20:01,431 --> 00:20:03,831 WE SPENT AN HOUR ALONE TOGETHER. 374 00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:05,683 LONGEST HOUR OF MY LIFE. 375 00:20:05,675 --> 00:20:07,375 SO YOU TWO AREN'T A COUPLE ANYMORE? 376 00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:09,507 NO, WE ARE NOT. 377 00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:13,680 AND TO THINK, I WAS GONNA MOVE TO ARIZONA WITH YOU. 378 00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:16,553 SAY WHAT NOW? 379 00:20:16,546 --> 00:20:19,916 WAIT WAIT. THERE'S STILL TIME. 380 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:23,589 YOU GUYS CAN WORK THIS OUT. I MEAN, YOU'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. 381 00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:26,003 - OH! - WAIT WAIT, COME BACK! 382 00:20:25,995 --> 00:20:27,995 GAM-GAM! 383 00:20:32,502 --> 00:20:35,442 Well, Charlie, another Duncan family Thanksgiving 384 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,965 has come and gone. 385 00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:38,466 The good news is Grandpa Duncan 386 00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:40,238 has also come and gone. 387 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,639 Hey, Teddy, tell me what you think about this. 388 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,572 "Dear Mrs. Dabney, 389 00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:47,884 I'm sorry for our ugly words. Please forgive me. 390 00:20:47,877 --> 00:20:50,717 Sell your house and move to Phoenix immediately. 391 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,580 Do not call first. Just surprise me. 392 00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:58,264 Forever yours, Grandpa." 393 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,427 Teddy: sign it "Frank." 394 00:21:01,431 --> 00:21:03,961 Oh, yeah, that's good. I could use that. 395 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,373 ( keyboard clicking ) 396 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:09,266 Anyway, since we never got a Thanksgiving dinner, 397 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,738 P.J. is about to deep fry another turkey. 398 00:21:11,741 --> 00:21:14,801 So just to be on the safe side. 399 00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:17,684 Wish me good luck, Charlie. 400 00:21:26,456 --> 00:21:28,456 OH! 401 00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:31,558 THAT WAS THE WORST SHOPPING EXPERIENCE 402 00:21:31,561 --> 00:21:34,391 - OF MY LIFE. - MINE TOO. 403 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:36,574 I MEAN, I HEARD THOSE SALES WERE BRUTAL, 404 00:21:36,566 --> 00:21:38,566 BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE THIS BAD. 405 00:21:38,568 --> 00:21:41,898 AND WE WERE SO CLOSE TO GETTING THAT LAST MYTAB. 406 00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:44,431 THEN THAT MONSTER CAME IN 407 00:21:44,434 --> 00:21:47,014 AND STARTED THROWING US AROUND LIKE RAGDOLLS. 408 00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:49,406 ( panting ) 409 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:52,079 WHAT JUST HAPPENED IN THERE? 410 00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:54,481 KARL, ARE YOU CRYING? 411 00:21:54,484 --> 00:21:57,894 SOMEBODY STEPPED ON MY NECK. 412 00:21:57,887 --> 00:22:00,387 ( groans ) 413 00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:02,620 HEY, IS IT REALLY WORTH TREATING PEOPLE LIKE THIS 414 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:04,752 TO GET A STUPID MYTAB? 415 00:22:04,754 --> 00:22:06,434 YES. 30019

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