All language subtitles for Good.Luck.Charlie.S02E14_0

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,480 - BREAKFAST! - HI, I'M TEDDY DUNCAN, 2 00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,753 REPORTING LIVE FROM THE KITCHEN WHERE, ONCE AGAIN, 3 00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:18,045 MOM HAS TAKEN AN INNOCENT PANCAKE AND DESTROYED IT. 4 00:00:18,049 --> 00:00:19,489 YOUR THOUGHTS? 5 00:00:19,490 --> 00:00:21,690 WHY ARE YOU INSULTING ME INTO A FORK? 6 00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:24,562 I'M JOINING THE SOUTH HIGH ACTION NEWS TEAM. 7 00:00:24,555 --> 00:00:27,655 - TODAY'S THE FIRST MEETING. - OH, THAT IS SO EXCITING! 8 00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,728 YOU KNOW, TEDDY, WHEN I WAS REPORTING FOR THE-- 9 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,560 Kids: SOUTHWEST DENVER COMMUNITY COLLEGE TV NEWS. 10 00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:36,173 OH, HOW FUNNY. HEH HEH. 11 00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:38,367 - GUESS I MUST HAVE-- - Kids: MENTIONED THAT BEFORE. 12 00:00:38,369 --> 00:00:40,809 ANYWAY, WHEN I WAS REPORTING, 13 00:00:40,811 --> 00:00:42,571 I HAD THIS REALLY CUTE CATCHPHRASE. 14 00:00:42,573 --> 00:00:44,183 IT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS: 15 00:00:44,175 --> 00:00:46,675 I'M AMY BLANKENHOOPER, GETTIN' ALL UP IN YOUR NEWS. 16 00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:48,147 ( all snap fingers ) 17 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,320 MORNING. 18 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:55,632 OOH, PANCAKES. YAY. 19 00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:57,156 ( clunking ) 20 00:00:57,158 --> 00:01:00,058 UH, MAYBE I'LL PICK UP SOMETHING ON THE WAY TO WORK. 21 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,640 WHEN HE WON'T EAT IT, THAT'S A BAD PANCAKE. 22 00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:07,265 HAS ANYONE SEEN MY BOOTS? 23 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,698 LOOKS LIKE CHARLIE HAS. 24 00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:11,539 -( all laughing ) - Amy:THAT'S ADORABLE! 25 00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:14,452 MISS DUNCAN, ARE YOU AWARE THAT DAD SOMETIMES 26 00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:16,575 HAS TO POUR SWEAT OUT OF THOSE BOOTS? 27 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,477 EW. 28 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:21,209 OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES. 29 00:01:21,212 --> 00:01:23,152 - THIS IS TEDDY DUNCAN-- - AND AMY DUNCAN... 30 00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:25,524 - MOM, IT'S A FORK. - ...GETTIN' ALL UP IN YOUR NEWS. 31 00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:29,757 ( rock music playing ) 32 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,560 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 33 00:01:31,562 --> 00:01:33,322 ♪ RUNNING LATE AND DAD JOKES ♪ 34 00:01:33,324 --> 00:01:36,204 ♪ "HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪ 35 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:38,097 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 36 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,498 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 37 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,500 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 38 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,213 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I SURVIVED ♪ 39 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,377 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 40 00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:51,380 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 41 00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:52,882 ♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 42 00:01:52,883 --> 00:01:55,753 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 43 00:01:55,746 --> 00:01:57,586 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 44 00:01:57,588 --> 00:01:59,388 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 45 00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:02,320 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 46 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,563 ♪ SURE LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 47 00:02:04,555 --> 00:02:08,455 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 48 00:02:08,459 --> 00:02:12,399 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 49 00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:16,344 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 50 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,382 ( bell rings ) 51 00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,348 OH, HEY, SIS. YOU WANT TO SIT TOGETHER? 52 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,920 YEAH SURE, I'D LOVE TO. 53 00:02:30,921 --> 00:02:33,921 ( both laugh ) 54 00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,364 - OH, IT NEVER GETS OLD. - YEAH. 55 00:02:37,428 --> 00:02:40,658 OH, WAIT. IS THAT DUSTIN REESE? 56 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,431 Teddy: WHO'S DUSTIN REESE? 57 00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:44,743 WE WENT TO KINDERGARTEN TOGETHER. 58 00:02:44,735 --> 00:02:48,665 BACK THEN HE HAD A PONYTAIL UNTIL... 59 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,669 ( snips ) 60 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,776 WHY'D YOU CUT OFF HIS PONYTAIL? 61 00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,478 IT WAS MY FIRST DAY WITH SCISSORS. 62 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,310 I HAD EATEN A DOUGHNUT. I WAS OUT OF MY MIND. 63 00:03:02,313 --> 00:03:05,623 - SO DO YOU THINK - I HOPE NOT. YOU? 64 00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,458 WELL, HERE HE COMES. 65 00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:15,874 WHAT-- YOU COULD HAVE JUST TURNED AROUND. 66 00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:17,396 EH. 67 00:03:24,435 --> 00:03:26,435 OKAY, EVERYONE, WELCOME TO THE SOUTH HIGH 68 00:03:26,437 --> 00:03:29,737 ACTION NEWS TEAM, OR SHANT. 69 00:03:31,682 --> 00:03:34,552 ANYWAY, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE FOR POSTPONING THE MEETING. 70 00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:37,685 AS YOU KNOW, I FELL OFF MY BIKE... AGAIN. 71 00:03:37,688 --> 00:03:39,718 - ( giggling ) - WHO LAUGHED? 72 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,790 ME. I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. 73 00:03:42,793 --> 00:03:45,833 - AND WHAT WAS THAT? - THE FIRST TIME YOU FELL OFF YOUR BIKE. 74 00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,397 MOVING ON. 75 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,860 ALL RIGHT, ONE OF YOU 76 00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:52,861 IS GOING TO HAVE A BIG OPPORTUNITY. 77 00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:55,243 THE CHANNEL 8 NEWS IS LOOKING FOR A TEEN REPORTER 78 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,535 FOR AN INTERNSHIP WHICH INCLUDES A CHANCE TO APPEAR ON TV. 79 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,639 IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, HAVE A TWO-MINUTE PIECE ON MY DESK BY FRIDAY-- 80 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,522 SOMETHING JUICY, EXPLOSIVE, HARD-HITTING-- OW. 81 00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:06,275 ( groans ) 82 00:04:06,277 --> 00:04:08,277 I'LL PICK THE BEST ONE AND SUBMIT IT TO CHANNEL 8. 83 00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:10,279 NOW GET TO WORK. 84 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,963 - OH, AND TEDDY, WAS IT? - YEAH. 85 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,755 YOU'RE NEW AROUND HERE. A PIECE OF ADVICE-- 86 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,428 DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. 87 00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,260 I SHAN'T. 88 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,569 ( sports playing on TV ) 89 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:31,871 BOB, BOB, BIG NEWS. 90 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,572 WALT McGUIRE CALLED AND INVITED US 91 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,954 - OUT TO DINNER AT HIS COUNTRY CLUB. - WHO IS WALT McGUIRE? 92 00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:37,946 HONEY, HE'S THE HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR. 93 00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:39,678 I TALK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME. 94 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,610 AND I LISTEN ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME. 95 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:45,363 OOH OOH OOH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 96 00:04:45,356 --> 00:04:48,386 I'M GOING TO WEAR THAT DRESS THAT MAKES PEOPLE ASK IF I'M TEDDY'S SISTER. 97 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,559 ( laughing ) COME ON, HONEY, HAS ANYBODY EVER-- 98 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,704 I LOVE THAT DRESS. 99 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,496 YOU KNOW WHAT? 100 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,799 - I THINK I'M GOING TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF SHOES TOO. - ( sighs ) 101 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,771 AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY ON YOUR SUIT. 102 00:05:02,773 --> 00:05:04,843 WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? 103 00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:08,407 YOU MIGHT HAVE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT 104 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,879 SINCE OUR HOMECOMING DANCE. 105 00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:15,421 - THANK YOU FOR SAYING "MIGHT HAVE." - AW. 106 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,419 ( doorbell rings ) 107 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,564 - P.J.! - DUSTIN. 108 00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:28,057 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 109 00:05:28,058 --> 00:05:30,498 DO YOU REMEMBER ME FROM KINDERGARTEN? 110 00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:32,061 I-- I DON'T KNOW. 111 00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:34,672 IT WAS-- IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 112 00:05:34,665 --> 00:05:37,005 AND WHICH YEAR OF KINDERGARTEN? 113 00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:39,869 I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 114 00:05:39,870 --> 00:05:41,870 COME ON OUT. 115 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,545 - WHAT'S ALL THIS? - I CAME TO GIVE YOU A HAIRCUT. 116 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,478 OH. OH WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU, 117 00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:52,621 BUT I ALWAYS GO TO RACHEL AT CRAZY CUTS. 118 00:05:52,623 --> 00:05:56,563 - NOT ANYMORE. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 119 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,029 - ( buzzing ) - ( laughing ) 120 00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:04,640 -( thunderclap ) - AHH! 121 00:06:04,635 --> 00:06:06,695 NO! 122 00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:10,468 OH. 123 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:14,411 WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE NIGHTMARES WHEN I NAP ON THIS COUCH? 124 00:06:14,405 --> 00:06:16,405 EH, FIVE MORE MINUTES. 125 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:31,888 - WHY ARE YOU SITTING WITH ME? - BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS YOU. 126 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,822 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT? 127 00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:36,704 - I DON'T WANT DUSTIN TO RECOGNIZE ME. - OH, THE PONYTAIL KID? 128 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,597 YOU'RE WORRIED HE'S GOING TO GET BACK AT YOU? 129 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,829 HE HAS GOTTEN INTO MY DREAMS, MY NAP DREAMS. 130 00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:44,842 THAT IS A PLACE FILLED WITH GUMDROPS AND LOLLIPOPS. 131 00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:47,905 - HE DOES NOT BELONG THERE! - OKAY. 132 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,408 WELL, I'M SORRY YOU HAD A BAD NAP, BUT I'VE GOT A REAL PROBLEM. 133 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,511 I HAVE TO COME UP WITH A GOOD NEWS STORY BY FRIDAY. 134 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,454 THIS COULD BE MY CHANCE TO BE ON LOCAL TV. 135 00:06:55,446 --> 00:06:57,716 UGH! 136 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,718 YOU WANT A GOOD STORY, YOU SHOULD DO A REPORT 137 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,720 ON WHATEVER THIS MYSTERY MEAT IS. 138 00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:06,703 WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT BAD. 139 00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:08,497 I'LL SOLVE THE MYSTERY MEAT MYSTERY. 140 00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:11,559 THIS DISGUSTING SLOP COULD BE MY TICKET TO THE BIG TIME. 141 00:07:11,562 --> 00:07:14,062 - HOW'S LUNCH TODAY? - OH, REALLY GOOD, THANKS. 142 00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:23,672 Bob: HEY, HONEY. 143 00:07:23,674 --> 00:07:27,924 - YOU GET SOME SHOES? - DID I GET SOME SHOES? DID I GET SOME SHOES? 144 00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:31,518 I DON'T KNOW. YOU TELL ME. BA-BAM. 145 00:07:31,522 --> 00:07:34,492 WOW! NICE! 146 00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:37,885 - YEAH, AND ONLY $400. - WHAT?! 147 00:07:37,888 --> 00:07:40,988 RELAX, I'M GOING TO RETURN THEM THE DAY AFTER THE DINNER. 148 00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:43,461 I'M JUST BORROWING THEM. 149 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,873 THEY'RE LIKE A LIBRARY BOOK THAT MAKES MY CALVES LOOK HOT. 150 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:51,168 HONEY, NO STORE IS GOING TO TAKE BACK SHOES ONCE YOU'VE WORN THEM. 151 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,641 THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KNOW THAT I'VE WORN THEM. 152 00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:55,053 I'M PUTTING TAPE ON THE SOLES SO THEY DON'T SCUFF. 153 00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,545 WHERE DID YOU LEARN THIS STUFF? 154 00:07:57,548 --> 00:08:00,578 IT'S AN OLD TRICK FROM MY STARVING STUDENT DAYS. 155 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,681 I THOUGHT I'D OUTGROW IT WHEN I WAS MARRIED, 156 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,963 BUT FOUR KIDS LATER AND HERE WE ARE-- BA-BAM! 157 00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:10,618 I DON'T KNOW. SOUNDS WRONG TO ME. 158 00:08:10,621 --> 00:08:13,821 - OR WE CAN JUST PAY THE $400. - I'LL GET THE TAPE. 159 00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:22,701 SO YOU CUT A KID'S HAIR IN KINDERGARTEN 160 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,973 AND NOW YOU'RE ALL FREAKED OUT? 161 00:08:23,974 --> 00:08:27,114 IT WAS THE WORST THING I EVER DID. 162 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,107 I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST APOLOGIZE. 163 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:33,679 APOLOGIZE? I'D CUT HIS HAIR AGAIN, SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS. 164 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,785 OKAY, GUYS, WHAT DO WE THINK, HUH? 165 00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:40,989 HUH? READY FOR THE COUNTRY CLUB? 166 00:08:40,991 --> 00:08:43,691 I DON'T KNOW, DAD. BUTTON THE JACKET. 167 00:08:43,694 --> 00:08:45,804 THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 168 00:08:47,157 --> 00:08:49,257 SO I'M GUESSING THE TOP BUTTON OF YOUR PANTS 169 00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:50,929 IS OUT OF THE QUESTION TOO? 170 00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,913 YES, SIR, IT IS. 171 00:08:56,767 --> 00:09:00,867 Amy: BOB, A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE? 172 00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:03,611 - NEED A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE? - WHAT? WHOA, WHAT'S WRONG? 173 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,017 TURNS OUT THAT PUTTING TAPE ON YOUR SHOES MAKES THEM 174 00:09:09,019 --> 00:09:11,179 JUST A LITTLE BIT SLIPPERY. 175 00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:14,932 WELL, WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE SHOES? 176 00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:17,055 WHAT, AND KILL THE GLAMOUR? 177 00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:28,997 HOW'D YOU LIKE TO PAY ALL THAT MONEY 178 00:09:28,999 --> 00:09:31,869 TO JOIN THE COUNTRY CLUB AND SEE THAT COMING IN? 179 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,946 What is the meat in mystery meat? 180 00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:42,649 To find out, I decided to sit down with Lydia the lunch lady 181 00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:45,663 and ask her some tough questions. 182 00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:52,919 - PRETTY GOOD SO FAR, HUH? - SHH! OW. 183 00:09:52,923 --> 00:09:55,833 Teddy: So, Lydia, let's get right to it. 184 00:09:55,826 --> 00:09:57,226 Tell me about the meat. 185 00:09:57,227 --> 00:10:01,127 Does that camera have to be so close? 186 00:10:01,131 --> 00:10:02,931 Why are you sweating? 187 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:07,843 Because you're shining a very bright light in my face! 188 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,939 Or is it because you're lying? 189 00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:14,081 What is it, Lydia? What is the meat? 190 00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:17,094 - Ground beef. - Is it? 191 00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:19,087 Or is it something else? 192 00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:21,089 ( neighing ) 193 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,964 Mystery meat-- is it really such a mystery? 194 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,358 ( horse neighs ) 195 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,940 This is Teddy Duncan and I'm on your side. 196 00:10:37,668 --> 00:10:40,708 - SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? - I CAN'T SUBMIT THIS. 197 00:10:40,711 --> 00:10:44,951 - WHY NOT? - BECAUSE THERE ARE NO FACTS, NO PROOF. 198 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,945 I'M SORRY, BUT IT STINKS. 199 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:51,278 BUT I NEED THAT INTERNSHIP. I WANT TO BE ON TV. 200 00:10:51,281 --> 00:10:53,881 THEN YOU'D BETTER COME UP WITH SOMETHING GREAT BY TOMORROW. 201 00:10:53,884 --> 00:10:56,194 - OH WELL, JUST WATCH ME. - I DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO IT. 202 00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:58,286 - I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS. - DO YOU WANT TO KISS ME 203 00:10:58,288 --> 00:11:00,988 - AS MUCH AS I WANT TO KISS YOU? - NO, I DON'T. 204 00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:03,892 WORTH A SHOT. 205 00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:18,909 ( door opens ) 206 00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:21,809 - AW, THAT MOVIE WAS AWESOME! - SO AWESOME! 207 00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:23,952 WHEN THE BLOOD SHOT OUT OF THAT GUY'S ARM, 208 00:11:23,954 --> 00:11:27,124 - IT LOOKED SO REAL! - SO REAL! 209 00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:28,857 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 210 00:11:28,859 --> 00:11:33,819 - UH, NOTHING. - WE JUST SAW "DECAPITATION 3." 211 00:11:33,824 --> 00:11:36,834 - NO, WE DIDN'T. - YES, WE DID. 212 00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:39,097 REMEMBER I ALMOST BARFED WHEN THEY USED 213 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:42,129 THAT LADY'S HEAD AS A BOWLING BALL? 214 00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:44,742 WAIT WAIT WAIT. THAT MOVIE'S RATED PG-13. 215 00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:45,905 WHO TOOK YOU GUYS TO GO SEE IT? 216 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,906 Both: HIS MOM. HIS DAD. 217 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,839 WE SLIPPED THE GUY AT THE BOX OFFICE 218 00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,142 FIVE EXTRA BUCKS AND HE LET US IN. 219 00:11:54,144 --> 00:11:56,154 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 220 00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:58,886 SHE'S A DIRECT PIPELINE TO THE MAN. 221 00:11:58,889 --> 00:12:01,219 AND BY THE MAN I MEAN MY MOM. 222 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,321 OKAY, SO THAT SLEAZEBALL AT THE MOVIE THEATER 223 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,134 IS TAKING BRIBES FROM KIDS? 224 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,826 THAT'S... FANTASTIC! 225 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,330 - IT IS? - YES YES. 226 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,501 THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF STORY I NEED. 227 00:12:13,503 --> 00:12:16,873 THIS IS GOING TO PUT ME ON TV, WHERE I BELONG. 228 00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:18,507 YOU SOUND LIKE MOM. 229 00:12:18,508 --> 00:12:20,738 SHUT UP. 230 00:12:23,413 --> 00:12:25,923 UGH, NICE JOB. 231 00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:29,176 - WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE NOW. - I'M SORRY. 232 00:12:29,179 --> 00:12:32,149 HEY, YOU WANT SOME MELTED POCKET CHOCOLATE? 233 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,092 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 234 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,887 YEAH, OKAY. 235 00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:48,095 - EMERGENCY! BOB, WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY. - WHAT? WHAT IS IT? 236 00:12:48,098 --> 00:12:50,498 - THE SHOES ARE GONE. - NOBODY MOVE! 237 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,970 THIS HOUSE IS ON LOCKDOWN! 238 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,413 WHAT-- WH-WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW THEM? 239 00:12:55,405 --> 00:12:58,075 UM, UH, WHEN I GOT HOME LAST NIGHT, 240 00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,548 I PUT THEM IN THE BOX AND WENT TO BED. 241 00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,180 THEN I GOT OUT OF BED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, PUT THEM BACK ON, 242 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,993 WENT TO THE BATHROOM, PUT THEM BACK IN THE BOX AND WENT TO BED. 243 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,456 WAIT, WHY WOULD YOU PUT ON SHOES TO GO TO THE BATHROOM? 244 00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:11,488 BECAUSE THEY MAKE EVERYTHING AN EVENT. 245 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:15,071 HONEY, LOOK, THE ONLY EVENT RIGHT NOW IS THAT WE'RE OUT $400. 246 00:13:15,065 --> 00:13:17,095 WE'VE GOT TO FIND THE SHOES! 247 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,267 - HEY, GUYS. - Bob:HEY. 248 00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,968 HI. WHY IS CHARLIE SO DIRTY? 249 00:13:20,971 --> 00:13:22,831 WE WERE PLAYING CHASE IN THE YARD 250 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:24,883 AND BECAUSE SHE WAS WEARING HIGH HEELS, SHE SLIPPED AND FELL. 251 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,835 - WHAT HEELS? - THESE. 252 00:13:27,838 --> 00:13:31,038 - NO! - YEAH. YEAH, SHE LOOKED PRETTY CUTE IN THEM TOO. 253 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,341 I GOT SOME GREAT PICS ON MY PHONE. 254 00:13:32,342 --> 00:13:33,842 - YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE? - UGH. 255 00:13:33,844 --> 00:13:35,194 - SEE? - ( beeping ) 256 00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:38,285 ( crying ) 257 00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:41,588 IT'S FUNNY, NOT SAD. 258 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,937 HEY, DUSTIN, HOW'S IT GOING? 259 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,840 I'M P.J. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER ME. 260 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,552 - WE WENT TO KINDERGARTEN TOGETHER. - WE DID? 261 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:10,075 YEAH YEAH, I WAS THE KID WHO GLUED HIS FACE TO THE DESK. 262 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,950 I WAS THE KID WHO GOT HIS TONGUE CAUGHT IN THE HAMSTER WHEEL. 263 00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:17,864 I WAS THE KID WHO CUT OFF YOUR PONYTAIL. 264 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,287 OH YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT. 265 00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:21,960 YEAH YEAH. 266 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,262 LISTEN, I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY WAY TOO LATE FOR THIS, 267 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,874 BUT I JUST-- I WANT TO SAY I'M REALLY SORRY. 268 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,266 EH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 269 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,239 - SO YOU'RE NOT MAD? - NOT AT ALL. 270 00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,401 OH, THAT'S SO GREAT, MAN. YOU MIND IF I STAY? 271 00:14:34,404 --> 00:14:36,114 - SURE SURE. - COOL. 272 00:14:36,106 --> 00:14:38,506 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CUT MY HAIR AGAIN, ARE YOU? 273 00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:44,352 - OH. WHOO. - YEAH. 274 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,172 OKAY OKAY, YOU GUYS, COME ON. SO HERE'S THE PLAN: 275 00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:57,595 GABE, YOU'LL BUY THE TICKETS. JAKE, YOU'LL WEAR THIS HAT. 276 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,967 IT HAS A CAMERA IN IT AND IT'LL RECORD THE WHOLE THING. 277 00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:02,200 I DON'T LOOK GOOD IN HATS. 278 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,002 JAKE, COME ON, WE GOT TO DO THIS. 279 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,184 DUDE, MY HAIR IS MY BEST FEATURE. 280 00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:11,408 OKAY, WELL, IF YOU GUYS DON'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS, 281 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,911 I'LL TELL BOTH YOUR MOMS ABOUT "DECAPITATION 3"... 282 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,223 AND "1" AND "2." 283 00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:19,415 - UH, YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE? - I DO NOW. 284 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,021 CAN I AT LEAST WEAR IT BACKWARDS? 285 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,593 IT'S MORE HIP HOP THAT WAY. 286 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,530 WHAT HE LACKS IN BRAINS HE MAKES UP FOR IN... 287 00:15:34,604 --> 00:15:36,144 HE'S GOT A POOL. 288 00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:48,176 SPONGE. 289 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,664 MARKER. 290 00:16:01,391 --> 00:16:03,131 PRETZEL. 291 00:16:08,738 --> 00:16:10,568 ( sighs ) 292 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,570 - ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE IT? - SHH. 293 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,652 A VERY CRITICAL PART OF THE OPERATION. 294 00:16:16,746 --> 00:16:20,046 I NEED ABSOLUTE QUIET. 295 00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:23,180 - HEY, GUYS! HOW'S IT GOING? - OOH! MY GOSH! 296 00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:26,315 DID WE LOSE HER? 297 00:16:29,259 --> 00:16:31,389 - WHAT IS IT, P.J.? - THIS IS DUSTIN. 298 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,061 IS IT OKAY IF HE SLEEPS OVER? 299 00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:37,103 - SURE. HI. FINE. - COOL, THANKS. 300 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:40,297 - WHAT ARE THEY DOING? - I DON'T KNOW. PLAYING CATCH WITH SHOES. 301 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:48,276 GO GO. 302 00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,742 TWO TICKETS FOR "DECAPITATION 3," PLEASE. 303 00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:56,053 Ooh, that's PG-13, guys. 304 00:16:56,046 --> 00:16:58,786 And since I don't see any adults around here, 305 00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:00,388 if you want to buy a ticket, 306 00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:04,220 there's going to be a handling fee. 307 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,364 Jake: "Fishy Friendz" instead. 308 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,228 NO NO NO NO. LOOK AT GABE! 309 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,030 LOOK AT GABE! OH! 310 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,601 Jake: the voice talents 311 00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:17,614 of Steve Carell and Rosie Perez. 312 00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:21,167 ENJOY THE SHOW. ( chuckles ) 313 00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:27,615 - OKAY, ARE WE DONE NOW? - NO NO, YOU DIDN'T GET IT. 314 00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:29,677 JAKE WAS LOOKING AT THE POSTER FOR "FISHY FRIENDZ." 315 00:17:29,679 --> 00:17:33,119 I COULDN'T HELP IT. THE FISH WAS WEARING GLASSES. 316 00:17:33,123 --> 00:17:35,263 THAT'S HILARIOUS! 317 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,725 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE DOING THIS AGAIN. 318 00:17:37,727 --> 00:17:39,557 THIS TIME I'M WEARING THE HAT. 319 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,329 HERE. 320 00:17:41,331 --> 00:17:43,331 JAKE, YOU WAIT HERE. 321 00:17:46,096 --> 00:17:48,836 - One ticket for - Weren't you just here? 322 00:17:48,838 --> 00:17:51,568 YEAH, I WAS HERE AND YOU WERE THERE 323 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,241 AND I GAVE YOU SOME MONEY. 324 00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:54,743 NOW DO YOU WANT TO DO IT AGAIN OR NOT? 325 00:17:54,744 --> 00:17:57,454 Okay, you know the drill. 326 00:17:57,447 --> 00:17:59,447 Handling fee. 327 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,186 EXCUSE ME, DID YOU JUST SELL AN 11-YEAR-OLD BOY 328 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,759 A TICKET TO A PG-13 MOVIE? 329 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,560 What? I-- I don't know what you're talking about. 330 00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:16,173 OH YEAH? OKAY. WELL, I THINK YOU DO 331 00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:19,626 BECAUSE I JUST CAUGHT THE WHOLE THING ON MY HAT CAM. CARE TO MAKE A STATEMENT? 332 00:18:19,629 --> 00:18:21,869 Yeah. How about-- how about I give you 333 00:18:21,871 --> 00:18:23,471 two free tickets to "Fishy Friendz" 334 00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:25,183 and we make this thing go away, huh? 335 00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:27,335 DO IT! 336 00:18:27,337 --> 00:18:31,207 Busted! teen reporter.Duncan, 337 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,781 Remember, when there's news to be reported, then... 338 00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:37,554 the one reporting it will be me. 339 00:18:37,547 --> 00:18:39,417 I'LL FIX THAT LATER. 340 00:18:48,198 --> 00:18:50,728 - GOOD MORNING. - HEY. 341 00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:55,614 WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THE MIRROR? 342 00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:58,135 BECAUSE NOW WE'RE EVEN. 343 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,137 AHH! 344 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,372 AH! 345 00:19:05,415 --> 00:19:08,415 DUDE, I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM. 346 00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:11,378 REALLY? WHAT ABOUT? 347 00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:14,281 IT WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF CRAZY. 348 00:19:14,284 --> 00:19:16,694 TO GET BACK AT ME YOU SHAVED HALF MY HEAD. 349 00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:20,426 WOW. WOW, THAT IS CRAZY. 350 00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:23,230 - SHOULD WE GET SOME BREAKFAST? - YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD. 351 00:19:27,397 --> 00:19:29,797 - ARE YOU CHILLY? - NO. 352 00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:32,799 I'M A LITTLE CHILLY. HUH. 353 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,709 This is Teddy Duncan getting all up in your news. 354 00:19:42,712 --> 00:19:44,952 ( snaps fingers ) 355 00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:46,924 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 356 00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:50,316 IT'S HARD-HITTING, INFORMATIVE AND ENTERTAINING. 357 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,390 IT'S THE BEST PIECE I'VE SEEN ALL SEMESTER AND... I'M KILLING IT. 358 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,733 - WHAT? WHY? - THAT BOX OFFICE GUY IS MY BROTHER. 359 00:19:56,726 --> 00:19:58,426 - YOUR BROTHER? - YEAH. 360 00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:00,798 I GOT THE LOOKS, BUT HE GOT THE CRAZY. 361 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,670 WAIT, BUT I WANT THAT INTERNSHIP. 362 00:20:02,672 --> 00:20:04,472 - HE'S MY RIDE TO SCHOOL. - THAT'S NOT FAIR. 363 00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:05,984 - LIFE ISN'T FAIR. - YOU CAN'T DO THIS. 364 00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:08,405 - KISS ME. - NO, THANK YOU. 365 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:14,881 Well, Charlie, looks like my reporting career 366 00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:17,424 has hit a little bump in the road. 367 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,747 ( groaning ) 368 00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,749 Oh, my feet are killing me. 369 00:20:23,493 --> 00:20:26,403 Mom, why did you wear your heels to work? 370 00:20:26,396 --> 00:20:30,656 Oh, they make everything an event. 371 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,930 Oh. The store wouldn't take them back, huh? 372 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,412 Laughed in my face. ( whimpers ) 373 00:20:35,405 --> 00:20:37,765 See, this is a good lesson, Charlie. 374 00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:39,467 If you try to pull a scam, 375 00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,309 you're going to suffer the consequences. 376 00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:42,471 Here here, give me that camera. 377 00:20:42,472 --> 00:20:44,472 No, Mom, I'll do the video diary, thank you. 378 00:20:44,474 --> 00:20:46,624 No no no no. I'd like to say to Charlie. 379 00:20:46,616 --> 00:20:49,446 Stay out of my closet, all right? 380 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,379 Yeah? Next time you take a pair of my shoes-- 381 00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:55,332 you can take it from here. 382 00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:57,555 Good luck, Charlie. 383 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,929 ( classical music playing ) 384 00:21:02,932 --> 00:21:05,602 GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO "GABE AND JAKE AT THE MOVIES." 385 00:21:05,595 --> 00:21:07,295 I'M GABE... 386 00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:10,337 THIS POPCORN MAKES MY FINGERS SHINY. 387 00:21:12,442 --> 00:21:13,902 ...AND THAT'S JAKE. 388 00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:17,783 THE FIRST MOVIE WE'RE REVIEWING TONIGHT IS "FISHY FRIENDZ." 389 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,377 NOW I FOUND IT FAMILIAR AND TIRED, 390 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,750 NOTHING I HADN'T SEEN 100 TIMES BEFORE. 391 00:21:22,752 --> 00:21:26,362 - JAKE? - IT WAS AWESOME! 392 00:21:26,356 --> 00:21:28,656 THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT EVERY MOVIE. 393 00:21:28,658 --> 00:21:30,988 BECAUSE I LIKE EVERY MOVIE. 394 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,720 THEN WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING THIS SHOW? 395 00:21:33,723 --> 00:21:36,373 FREE POPCORN. 396 00:21:36,366 --> 00:21:38,766 - YOU'RE AN IDIOT. - YOU'RE THE IDIOT. 397 00:21:38,768 --> 00:21:40,928 - AM NOT! - ARE SO! 398 00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:42,770 THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR THIS WEEK. 399 00:21:42,772 --> 00:21:46,312 SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON "GABE AT THE MOVIES." 400 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,535 HEY! 30042

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